so please if i wrote something wrong tell me

I love you more

It was quiet. So quiet. They didn’t need to look out to see that was late. Not a single noise. Even their breaths you couldn’t hear.

Remus was holding Sirius, so tight, like he was afraid, like he didn’t want the other to dissapear; like he could.

Sirius had his eyes closed, like if he opened the other would not exist anymore.

They were naked, to feel every single piece of skin they could, and even that wasn’t enough. Eskimo kisses. Lazy hands.

“I love you.” Said Remus, his voice so low that if it wasn’t that quiet Sirius wouldn’t ever listen.

“I Love you more.”

“Why must you turn everything into a competition?”

“It’s not a competition.”

They stayed in silence for a few seconds. Sirius opened his eyes to see a confused Remus.

“When I say I love you more, I don’t mean I love you more that you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead us. I love you more that any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us. I love you more than any obstacle that could ever try and come between us. I love you the most.”

Remus tried not to cry, but he couldn’t. And then he kissed Sirius, like never before. 

Un-uglify new tumblr controls

Tumblr’s new controls were obnoxious, disgusting and just a bad design choice in general, and I couldn’t stand it, so I wrote a script to make it actually look decent enough whilst still maintaining all the functionality. The only thing about it is that the dashboard button is gone, but that’s easily fixed with a separate link somewhere I guess.

It’s small, out of the way in the top right corner, has a transparent background and the buttons are all white with black text, but you can use filter:invert(100%) just like what we did with the old controls. [preview]

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

prompt : elias is suspicious of sana and yousef’s relationship/feelings for each other

“Hey! 😊 I’m so happy that you decided to write Yousana prompts… could you maybe write something about Elias finding out that Yousef likes Sana?”

Sometimes it bothered Elias how Yousef and Sana gravitated around each other everytime they were in a room. Not everyone seemed to notice, but seeing his best friend getting way too embarassed about little things when his sister was in the room or smiling for five minutes straight everytime she adressed him were things Elias couldn’t help but notice.

He didn’t quite know what to think of all this. Sana was an observer, and she’d always been really quiet. She always kept everything to herself. Of course he insisted sometimes, because he could almost always instantly notice when she wasn’t feeling good, but they never really talked. So asking her to tell him, her big brother, if she had some kind of crush on Yousef was just inconceivable. The only thing he could see was how smiley she was whenever his best friend was around.

A few months ago, he had noticed she paid more attention to her physical appearence whenever she knew Yousef would come to their house. He didn’t make fun of her. First, it wouldn’t be funny. Second, it meant making her even more shy than she already was around her own family. So he just watched it happen. Noticing the little things. How her lipstick seemed perfect. How her hijab was right in place. How her outfit matched perfectly. He smiled to himself, because he thought it was kind of cute.

Him, too, had had a crush on one of her big sister’s friends. He knew how Sana felt, even though he felt like there was more between Sana and Yousef than there ever was between that girl he barely and him.

He also knew Yousef was too respectful to even intentionnally flirt with her. And if he had done it, then he had been very discreet. Elias wasn’t watching them, he trusted both of them enough to know. If something had to happen, then it would. And he would be supportive. Until then, he trusted them.

One day, as the boys and him were going to the cinema, he saw Yousef staring at someone waiting in line in fron of them. The room was big and filled with people waiting for their movies to begin. He took a look in front of him and noticed Sana laughing with two of her girlfriends. He could only guess it was Eva and Noora as they weren’t facing them, but Sana was recognizable. A blue hijab covering her head, she seemed relaxed.

Elias, his hands in his jacket pockets, softly bumped his friend’s shoulder. Yousef startled and finally faced him, looking a little dazzled.

-Stop staring, man, Elias said.

He saw Yousef’s cheeks reddening. He took a sip of his drink, probably trying to hide his embarassment. He quickly answered :

-I wasn’t staring.

-Okay, you weren’t staring…, he said, a knowing smile lingering on his face.

-I wasn’t staring, Elias.

Elias heard in his friend’s tone that he wasn’t only trying to convince him, he was also trying to convince himself. Sana’s brother didn’t know why that was, but in that moment he realized that Yousef didn’t want to believe the possibility that he could’ve fallen for his friend’s sister.

-Yousef. You can’t help it. It’s alright… I think she can’t either anyway.

His friend frowned, confused, and Elias raised his head to look right at Sana whom was staring at Yousef. She immediatly turned her head back as she realized the boys had spotted her, but Elias saw a subtle smile appearing onYousef’s face as they entered the theatre.

He gently pushed Elias on the side before opening the door, probably trying to tell him that he was wrong again, but still. The smile remained on Yousef’s face for two hours.

I mixed the two prompts, i hope you won’t hate me for it, anons ! I’m not really satisfied with i wrote, but let me know what you think :) (i think elias is a little ooc but i wanted to write something really soft so…….) 

also: send me prompts people ! i’m way more satisfied when i know i’m gonna please someone by writing his/her idea than when i write for myself atm


I finally finished this, thank God. This is super self-indulgent and sappy, because yes, I am sappy. I don’t know whether or not I’m gonna write a part 2 yet, so I guess that depends on what you guys think. So let me know!
Tagging @strongenoughfoundation because we are both writing fics for this blizzard and you helped me get past a writer’s block c:
(Slight warning for language)
It was late evening, the snow was piling up outside, and you had nowhere to go. To some, you might’ve looked like a sad person all cooped up in your house, alone, with a sappy movie playing on the TV. To you, it was utter heaven. You’d been working hard, after all, taking extra shifts at work and helping your best friend with his newest project all the time. Hamilton had been a huge success and you couldn’t be prouder.

Oh right, you should probably call said best friend, Lin. You’d had to trudge back to your home in the bitter, stormy weather and you’d promised to call and let him know you hadn’t died. You fished your phone out of the blankets layered on top of you and unlocked it. The wallpaper was a hilarious picture of you and the rest of the Hamilton cast; you’d been smiling for a serious picture when Daveed muttered some ridiculous joke that had all of you laughing hysterically. You smiled at the memory as you thumbed through your contact list and found Lin’s number. Pressing CALL, you set the phone on speaker mode so you could continue eating your popcorn with your hands free.

It took a ring and a half for him to answer. “(Y/N), you better have a good excuse for waiting an hour to call me.”

You barked out a laugh. “I forgot, okay? It was snowy and windy, and I really just wanted to get inside. I wasn’t thinking.”

“You weren’t thinking about the ONE phone call you were supposed to make to your ONE friend?”

“You are not my ‘one friend,’ you jerk. I have other people to talk to.”

“Name two. And they can’t be in the cast.”


“Right, so you were saying?”

You rolled your eyes, even though he couldn’t see you, and popped another piece of popcorn into your mouth. “I hate you.”

You heard him laugh, a single, disbelieving “HA!” that made you want to reach through the phone and punch him. “Go ahead and laugh,” you added sarcastically. “One day, I’ll have my revenge.”

“Your REVENGE?” he repeated. “What’re you gonna do?”

“Maybe beat you up. I’ve been wanting to lately.”

“You can’t beat me up, you’re like a foot shorter than me.”

“Oh, you’re making fun of my height now?” you asked in feigned outrage, leaning closer to the phone.

His voice responded, high-pitched and mocking: “'oh, you’re making fun of my height now?’”

You shook your head, unable to stop the smile threatening your lips. You’d missed him, you always missed him when you left, but today, it was worse. You wanted to see that stupid, silly smile he got when he teased you. You pushed your hair out of your face, trying to mask the sudden ache in your heart. “You’re in for it, now, Miranda.”

“Usted no me asusta niña bonita.”

“That’s not fair, I don’t know what you just said! How am I supposed to know how to insult you back?”

“Learn Spanish.”

“Wow, your advice is legendary. You should make T-shirts with your inspiring phrases on them.”

“Aw, thanks, I try.”

“You’re trying to make me hate you, aren’t you?”

“It’s surprisingly easy.”

“I can’t believe that you're—”

“I love you.”

You froze. The TV hummed in the background, throwing a pale glow over the room. Outside the window, it was a blur of white snow and sky. Inside your chest, your heart was about to break out of your ribcage. Slowly, you swallowed and cleared your throat. “…what?”

You heard a shaky breath from the other end and a shift of movement. Then, again, “I love you. I know it’s really sudden and you’re probably confused, and shit, I wanted to do this differently. But I can’t help it.” He paused and you stared wide-eyed into the silence. Your mind was a mess of static, you couldn’t speak, you could only wait for his voice. “(Y/N), you’re my best friend, you know that, and God, you’re amazing too. You’re so amazing, and all I want is for you to be happy. It’s just so damn hard sometimes, to see you alone and know that I could make you happy, I wanna make you happy. I needed you to know that, even if it screws up our friendship.” His voice nearly broke then, and your heart clenched. In that moment, all you wanted was him here with you, to hold him close and tell him no, this didn’t ruin anything, this was wonderful. But you were getting choked up and it was hard to get words past the lump in your throat.

He took your silence as something else entirely and your breath hitched when you heard a quiet, “(Y/N)? …I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…Fuck. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Sitting bolt upright, you snatched your phone off the arm of the couch. “Lin, I love you too,” you blurted out. There was a heart-stopping silence and you were terrified that he might’ve hung up already. “I think I—I’ve felt like this for a long time, but I didn’t know if you did. Please, tell me you didn’t hang up. I was scared, and stupid, and Lin, I love you,” you whimpered, a stray tear slipping down your cheek. “This won’t ruin anything, I promise. Just please let me know you hear me.”

For a moment, you were sure that you’d missed your chance and you were ready to call him again until he answered. But then—

“I hear you.” There was a sound that was like a laugh and a sob all tangled together and you wished with all of your heart that he was here with you. “God, I just—You weren’t answering and I was sure that I just made the biggest fucking mistake of my life.”

You smiled through your tears, wiping a hand under your eyes. “No,” you managed. “No, you didn’t. Lin…” You trailed off to yank the sleeve of your sweater down over your hand so you could use it to rub away another tear. “Sorry, I’m a mess over here. I’m crying like a freaking girl from a rom com,” you added bitterly and there was a sympathetic chuckle from your phone.

“It’s okay to cry, (Y/N), but it’s killing me. I wish I was with you, cariña,” Lin cooed and you leaned your forehead against your phone’s screen, closing your eyes at the soft lull of his voice.

“Do you think you can maybe come over?” you tried. “I know the snow’s bad, but um.” You broke off, biting your lip. You couldn’t be selfish and make him walk over here in the cold. You’d see him again eventually. But you felt so full of emotion, it was going to burst out at the seams if you didn’t see him soon.

When he answered, you could tell that he was smiling. “I’m on my way.”

lion heart | jungkook — part one

pairing : jeon jungkook x reader, reader will have platonic relationships with other members !

word count : 2.6k

genre : angst / a little fluff ?

summary : You live with an expert kidnapper, who takes daughters and sons from rich families to collect the ransom. You are too fearful to leave, or do anything much to help the hostages other than occasionally sneaking them food, until Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Kim Namjoon, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, and Jeon Jungkook come along.

a/n : okay listen I’ve never written angst before and I can’t tell if this is weird or ?? idk listen I’ve had a lot of time on my hands since I dropped out of school so I just wrote some shiz and I don’t really know what I’m doing with it so .. I mean … if you like it please leave me a message or something because really I would like to know if I’m any good at writing this , as I said this is my first time writing angst soooo .. idk I’m nervous but enjoy ? I guess ahh

Originally posted by jjks

You knew what Jinwoo did was wrong, you had always known. The problem was, you weren’t brave enough to leave. He didn’t lock you here, in fact, he would often let you leave, to get him things from the store. But you would always come back. He would only find you otherwise, and when he did, he would be mad.

One day, you returned from the store to find a little more new visitors than usual. It was only a matter of time before he did it again, you knew that. But you weren’t expecting this many. This was big. This was risky. Usually, he would take one or two. Guys, occasional girls, from rich families for ransom. And once the money had been exchanged, always in cash, he would return the person, or people, and move somewhere new, using the ransom money. He would get a job every place he went, so that he didn’t arise suspicion, and he would always wait a while before taking somebody else, so that the police didn’t link the kidnappings with his moving. He would travel miles looking for somebody new to take, and it looked as though he had hit the jackpot. Seven guys, all from rich families. Seven ransoms.

You walked downstairs into the lower story or basement of the house, a large area reserved to inhabit the hostages. This part was always the worst. You knew that there was nothing you could do for them. You didn’t have the courage. You took a look at them, and immediately your eyes welled with tears. Jinwoo was at work, and he wouldn’t be back for hours yet. He had left them some food, to keep them healthy, but it looked like none of them felt like eating. Who could blame them?

As they heard the creak of the wooden stairs, they swung their heads up, one of them cowering slightly in the corner. You took another step down, and you noticed how they shifted slightly away. Because of what Jinwoo had done, the captives were always terrified of you at first too. You didn’t know exactly what Jinwoo did to them, but you would guess from the blood staining their clothes, and gashes, bruises, and scratches across their face that it wasn’t anything comfortable. These boys were injured much more than anybody else you had seen, so instead of taking anymore steps down, you decided to take one up, and another, until you were at the top of the stairs once again.

You walked over to the kitchen, opening one of the cupboards and grabbing the first aid kit. You weren’t supposed to do this, but Jinwoo wouldn’t be home for a while, and he only ever went down to give them food and water. He never took much of a look at them. You told yourself that he wouldn’t notice. He never used the first aid kit anyway. He wouldn’t notice that anything was missing.

You headed back down the stairs, making sure that your movements were soft and gentle, as not to startle them. You looked to the food in the centre of the room, that still remained untouched. You made your way over to the huddle of seven boys, having only old tattered cushions to sit on. You could sense how fragile they were, how terrified, as no matter how soft your movements were, they still flinched at every one.

You knelt down on the concrete floor in front of them, putting the first aid kit on the floor in front of you. At the notice of this, the boys seemed to be a little less scared, though still terrified. You opened your mouth, finally gaining the confidence to speak. You never really knew what to say when you first met these people, what could you say? Anything to make them feel a little better about the situation, sure, but, what could fit into that category?

“..I..It’s okay.. He won’t be home for a while… I can.. I… I’m sorry…”

Those two words. They would always come up at some point. You felt the need to apologise for Jinwoo, but, you also needed to apologise because, apart from cleaning their wounds and showing them some kindness, there was nothing you could do for them.

“I’m so sorry. Please.. let me help.. You don’t want those scarring, I’m sure…”

You reached into the first aid kit, pulling out some rubbing alcohol, and a roll of bandages. Though, as soon as you pulled the roll out, it began to unravel when you almost dropped it, and you watched the roll as it rolled away the full length of the room, leaving a trail of bandage behind it, the end of which being in your hand. You hadn’t exactly had experience using first aid kits, but you thought it would be easy enough. Apparently, you couldn’t even hold a roll of bandages properly. You heard a light snicker, and you looked up, catching eyes with one of the younger boys, eyes you were sure would have shone brighter than all others before this ordeal. You swore you caught the slightest hint of a smile as he reached out his large hands to push the roll back towards you.


You pick up the roll, rolling it back up before shuffling up to the male nearest to the right. You picked up a small cotton pad, dousing it in rubbing alcohol before squeezing it out slightly when you realised that was way too much.

“This might hurt a little, but.. it’s better than having nothing at all..”

You started on a cut above the first boy’s eyebrow, pushing his hair back slightly. You pressed the cotton pad to the wound, earning a slight flinch from the male.


You stuttered, before continuing to clean the wound. Your gaze caught onto his, and your lips parted slightly, your breath hitching in your chest. It’s times like these when you realised that, even though you weren’t like Jinwoo, you were just as bad. You were allowing this to happen. But there was nothing you could do. You couldn’t risk it. If Jinwoo wasn’t getting his money, he could kill them. Your eyes blurred with tears, and you could barely see out of them anymore, the liquid distorting your vision as it covered every inch of your narrowing eyes.

“What’s your name?”

The question caught you off guard, shakily falling from the-boy-sitting-ahead-of-you’s lips. You had seen countless people caught up by Jinwoo and his hungry ploy to gain money, but they never spoke to you. They would occasionally bow their head if you helped them, but nothing more. And they definitely didn’t ask your name. You had already gained a smile from one of the boys, and that was a first too.

“..It’s Y/N… W-What’s yours?”

It had been a while since you held a proper conversation with anybody, and it was almost a relief to hear a voice other than Jinwoo’s, or the occasional monotone shop clerk.

“It’s Seokjin..”

The tears brimming in your eyes finally fell down your cheeks, and you could finally see clearly again. He was smiling. It was a small smile, but it was something. He grabbed your shaking arm from it’s place on his head, bringing it down before taking the cotton pad from between your fingers.

“You don’t have to do that. We’ll be okay.”

His voice was shaky, and he was shivering slightly.

“I want to.. I don’t.. I.. I have to do something.. Please.”

You pleaded, your eyes boring into his. If he didn’t let you do this, you knew that the guilt would tear you apart. He clearly saw this in your eyes, and allowed you to continue. You cleaned up the entire group, each one making small talk while you did so. It felt really good. Talking to somebody.

A few hours later, you were actually laughing with them. You had gotten to know them, a little bit, and for a second even they forgot the situation. You saw the youngest, Jungkook, shivering slightly, and so brought it upon yourself to go upstairs and fetch him a blanket. You found the thickest one in the house, bringing it down and handing it to him. He smiled widely, baring a set of bunny teeth, causing you to smile just as wide, for the first time in years. You forgot all about Jinwoo. About everything.

A few more hours passed, even though it seemed like only a couple of minutes. You heard the door unlock, and immediately, the panic that was present in your mind every second of every day returned.

“Oh god..”

You left the basement quickly, running up the stairs and leaving the group downstairs.

“Not quick enough, Y/N..”

Jinwoo whispered, twirling his keys around his finger before slamming them down on the kitchen counter, causing you to jump. He had only caught you visiting the basement once before, and you remembered all too well what happened then.

“Jinwoo, I..”

“What was it this time? Food? You know, if this is going to become a regular occurrence, I won’t be able to trust you anymore.”

He walked over to the basement door, slowly walking down the stairs and looking around. Although the boys had attempted to hide the blanket and first aid kit left down there, it was an unsuccessful attempt.

“Oh, Y/N… No, no… Haven’t I told you not to do this?”

He started back up the stairs, and every step he took forward, you took back.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad.. in fact… If you like it so bad down there, why don’t you join them?”

Your heart dropped in your stomach, and your throat went dry. You couldn’t even find the courage to open your mouth. You took another step backwards, and quickly turned to dash down the hall, but you weren’t fast enough. Jinwoo grabbed your arm, pulling you back towards him and pushing you with force through the basement door. You had no time to stop, and you fell all the way down the wooden stairs, your head hitting the concrete floor at the bottom. You just about heard Jinwoo slamming and locking the door, before the noise faded with your vision.


You gradually opened your eyes to see Jungkook above you, your head placed in his lap. One of his hands was tangled in your hair, the other resting on your chest. His eyes were closed, soft snores escaping his parted lips. You turned your head to your right, catching sight of Seokjin. He was laying on the floor, head resting on a pillow, beside the open first aid kit. It was then you noticed the bandages on your legs and arms. You couldn’t remember how you got hurt, but from the last few things you could remember, you could gather.

You carefully lifted Jungkook’s hands from your chest and hair, before sitting up.

Taehyung, the boy who had pushed the bandage back to you earlier, was asleep on Jimin’s shoulder, who was asleep on Yoongi’s shoulder. Namjoon was sleeping beside Seokjin, and Hoseok was asleep beside Namjoon.

You carefully pushed Jungkook down onto the floor, covered with cushions, to make him a little more comfortable than his seated position. He stirred slightly, causing you to freeze, not wanting to wake him up. He stretched his arm out, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you down to lay beside him. Your eyes widened, and your cheeks flushed a dark red.

Once you had composed yourself, you reached out, attempting to feel around for the blanket with your fingers. Once you felt the fabric, you gripped onto it, pulling it over Jungkook to keep him warm. You looked over his features for a few minutes, frowning slightly at the various bruises and cuts littering his face. You found yourself wondering what he looked like before they were there. Just as beautiful, no doubt. His soft features relaxed you more than anything ever had, and before long, your eyes drooped shut, and you fell into a deep sleep.

When you woke up, Jungkook was no longer laying down in front of you, his arms no longer wrapping firmly around you. Instead, your eyes were laying on the wall. Not the most interesting sight compared with the last thing you laid eyes on before you fell asleep.

You blinked a few times to wake yourself up, before rolling over to the right. Everybody else was still asleep, but Jungkook was kneeling beside the first aid kit. He hadn’t noticed that you had woken up yet, so you took the time to admire his features as they remained concentrated on the objects in the first aid kit. It looked as though he knew as little about first aid as you. Seokjin wasn’t awake yet, and you guessed that he was the one to dress your wounds while you were out yesterday, given that he was asleep next to it and all.


You whispered, not wanting to wake the rest of the group. Especially given the amount of stress they were under, and how they weren’t getting much food at all, you wanted them to have as much sleep as possible. Jungkook looked up, his lips curling into a smile once his eyes latched onto yours.

“Hey, Y/N-ah.. I was just going to redress your wounds from yesterday.. I watched Seokjin-hyung do it, so.. I figured I could probably do it too, but I can’t remember much of it now, and Seokjin-hyung isn’t awake yet.”

You went to stand, but a shooting pain stopped you, and you squeezed your eyes shut. You realised that you hadn’t tried to stand since waking up yesterday, so you didn’t even realise that you couldn’t.


“It’s okay, I’ll come over there.”

You shifted slightly, using your other leg and arms to swivel to rest your back against the wall. This ended up being tricky when you realised that one of your arms was injured too.

Jungkook stood up, picking up the first aid kit from the floor and walking over to sit beside you. He started by unwrapping the bandage from around your leg, and you closed your eyes tightly shut at the sight. It was bruised, cut, and blood stained, and you didn’t want to look at it for anything other than a few seconds. Jungkook cleaned it up as best he could, and when you opened your eyes, you chose to focus your gaze on Jungkook instead of your leg. You focused on anything and everything, the way his eyes narrowed in concentration as he cleaned up your leg, the way he bit his lip occasionally. Even the way that he would sniff from time to time, scrunching his nose up like a bunny rabbit. With all of this to focus on, you barely felt anything in regards to your leg. Everything went numb for those five or so minutes. You had better things to think about.

Once he was done cleaning your leg, he dressed it before wrapping it up in a fresh bandage. After doing the same with your arm, which wasn’t as badly injured, he moved onto your head. You hadn’t even noticed that it was bandaged up, but were gaining vague remembrance that you hit your head on the concrete floor, so when you thought about it, it would make sense. He removed your bandage, locking eyes with yours. Your heart almost fell out of your chest, and you were almost sure you stopped breathing for a second. His eyes scrunched up as he widely smiled towards you, and you felt yourself smiling too.

You didn’t know how long you would be down here, but as long as Jungkook, and the rest of the boys were here, you didn’t think it would be all too bad.

Hey i need more people to follow

So please reblog if you post/reblog any of these and i’ll check your blog

-The Neighbourhood
-Marina and The Diamonds
-Panic! At The Disco
-My Chemical Romance
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-Memes or funny stuff idk
-Maybe aesthetic or decoration or art something like that

Miracles in December-A Yoongi Scenario

Genre: Angst (Veeeery angsty)

Trigger Warning: Death Mentions

Yoongi x Reader

Word Count: 4k


Every year in December, we both met at our bench by the river. We both felt something strong between us. But some things just aren’t meant to be. Fate had something different in mind for us…

Day 2 of the Christmas Countdown with wonderful @taeinmycup !

Hope you enjoy<3

Originally posted by yoongiddy

“It was the way his lips formed this gummy smile of his when he was excited what fascinated me about this young man.

Our first encounter, I was at a Christmas market, last-minute shopping for a present for my mother and I saw this wonderful bracelet which would perfectly match her usual jewelry. I reached out for it but my hand crashed against another, causing me to look up. And I saw him. Cheesy, right?

He chuckled at me. “I saw it first, though.”

“What happened to Ladies first, though?” I snapped back and cocked my eyebrow.

Surprised by my words, his mouth formed the smile I would happen to adore so much and he murmured: “Fine, take it. But in return…”

“You don’t get anything in return. There are losers and winners in life…you will win next time.” I cheekily said.

He snickered at my words, his dark eyes following me while I paid for the bracelet.

“In return…drink a cup of coffee with me.”

“Why that?”

“You should return my favor of leaving the bracelet to you. Normally, I don’t care if it is a lady or a guy, you know.”

“Why did you make an exception this time, Mr. I don’t care about anything?”

“I don’t know actually. So, go on a coffee with me, so I won’t regret my decision.”


Shared laughter, sipping tea and coffee. We walked around for the whole day, actually forgetting time and place, just us.

He was a musician, a rapper who worked part-time as a barista, thus his love for coffee ( and also because he needed a drug to stay awake but he didn’t want to admit that ‘no coffee is art for me, what you talking about’).

I was 19 years old at that time, he was 21, we were so young and carefree, full of dreams and hope. He wanted to release a mixtape and I was studying at university to become a doctor.

We still had our whole lives ahead of us.

Sitting on the bench by the river for hours, the snow was covering our heads already, the people around us were playing around and passing our bench from time to time but we didn’t notice any of them.

After a while, I caught a look on my phone clock, hours passed and I would be totally late for family dinner at home.

“I am so sorry but I actually have to leave you now or I will miss my family dinner and my mom will freak out and I definitely don’t want this to happen. Here take this.” I said, standing up and handing him the little package with the bracelet in it.

“Why are you giving this to me?” He asked, a surprised look on his face.

“I will find something new…and you saw it first, so it is yours. Consider it my Christmas gift for you. Although I just know you for a couple of hours.” I chuckled.

“Well…thanks. But wait! Will I see you again? Can…can I have your number, maybe?”

“Oh, of course! Here you go!” I said and hastily wrote it on his hand with a pen.

“I really have to go now or I won’t be able to catch my train. It was nice to meet you, Yoongi. Let’s see each other again soon!” I smiled and gave him a quick hug and left him in total surprise.

But fate had other plans with the two of us…

And winter passed, Christmas was over (I actually got my mother another bracelet which she found really beautiful) and spring was knocking on the door. But Yoongi never called…

So, a year passed without any sign of him and I already forgot about him until it was time to find a new present for my mother and I was walking around the Christmas market without any clue what to get her. After what seemed like forever I actually got her something but I wasn’t content yet. There was something missing…I got myself a coffee and walked by the river, watching the people walking around, children playing in the snow which covered my head all over again.

I sat down on a near bench to just watch the scenery as I heard a voice from behind.

“You here…?”

I turned my head and looked into these strange but so familiar eyes which I hadn’t seen for a year.

My mouth formed a little ‘O’ and I immediately smiled when he came closer and sat down next to me.

“Yes, I am here. And you’re here, too.”

“Seems like it.” He chuckled and looked at me.

But then I remembered that this man who I had met last year at almost the same spot, same time, didn’t seem to be interested enough to just call me for the whole year.

I sadly looked down. “Why didn’t you…contact me?”

“I tried to but I never got a reply of you.” He murmured and I looked up in surprise.

“I would have replied if you sent me a text! I never got something…”

“That’s because you probably gave me the wrong number…it happened to be the number of an 18-year-old boy from Busan…his name is Jimin. He’s cool. I texted him instead of you then.” He laughed but the laugh somehow sounded bitter.

After an awkward silence, Yoongi finally broke it: “Why did you give me a wrong number? You could have just said you weren’t interested…I mean I wouldn’t have met Jimin but it was just a big disappointment to me…”

“I am sorry…I didn’t mean to give you a wrong number but I must have switched a number or something. Please don’t think of me like that… So, you are friends with that guy now? Seems cool. What happened this year in your life? Tell me.”

And he did. I still hope he really trusted me when I said that I didn’t want to give him a wrong number but I am still not sure if he did.

He got his first job as a songwriter. He just co-wrote something but he still talked very proudly about it and his eyes lit up in a beautiful way that somehow competed with the beauty of the snow falling from the sky.

He also got himself a girlfriend and they’ve been together for half a year now. When I asked why he was there with me, he simply shrugged:

“I was curious if you would be here. And I was right. You are here. Now, tell me about yourself. What happened in your year?”

My year had been a mess at that time and I just told him everything that I couldn’t tell any other person but him, because he was a stranger. But he didn’t feel like a stranger at all, it was like we were old friends which caught up after not having seen the other for a long time.

“I am sad to tell you I have to go now.” He announced, standing up.

My mood suddenly dropped to a low as he said these words and I stood up as well.

“So…this time we should exchange the right numbers?” I smiled but the look in his eyes were enough to tell me there was nothing to smile about.

“I would love to but you know, I have a girlfriend. I would rather not get too invested into this maybe you can understand me. Plus, I have a lot of work for which I may leave the country for a while so I will be really busy, it would be too hard to keep the contact. I am very sorry, I hope you understand.”

“Of course I do. You are a busy songwriter and the job is important. I wish you and your girlfriend the best of course and maybe we will see each other again…”

“I am sure we will as long as this bench is existing.” He chuckled and drew me in for a hug.

Another year went by, I visited our bench like usual and sat there drinking my coffee. But he didn’t come.

And another year, and another, and another…

I simply went there every year again but he didn’t come.

Only after 5 years, I was sitting there, now 25 years old, I have met the father of my children already, he was a fellow colleague in the hospital and I was unknowingly pregnant with my first child already.

I sat there in the cold and sipped on my coffee as I detected steps from behind and a loud cough that caused me to turn my head. He was standing there, his black hair full of snow. It was like these 5 years that passed after our second meeting, never happened. But they passed and it could be seen on him. Wrinkles by his eyes, a more serious look in them, a look of crushed dreams. And again his eyes competed with the nature around us-but this time it was which of them looked more dead…the winter which allowed no flower to blossom; or his eyes which allowed no hope or dream to rise again.

“Yoongi…” I wasn’t able to speak another word. I didn’t say anything else. Tears rose up my eyes, my cheeks were red from the cold. I didn’t say anything, no, I just lifted my hand and slapped it across his face. The next moment, I was so shocked by my own action but I somehow felt…relieved like it was something which I was holding in for such a long time.

“I guess I deserved that.” He smirked and held his hand against his now even more red cheek.

“I…I am sor…sorry, I don’t know what got into myself.”

“It is okay…I totally deserved that. I didn’t show up for quite a while, haven’t I? I should be the one to say sorry.” He sat down.

“You shouldn’t feel burdened to say sorry. We never had any sort of relationship or agreement that we would meet every year. We just happened to meet here and that’s it.”

“But you waited for me to come here the last years, right?”

“I did. But like I said, we didn’t have any sort of agreement; it was coincidence that we met.”

“It wasn’t. Maybe the first time…but the second time, I wanted to see you as much as you wanted to see me.”

“What are you talking about? I was just there to buy a present for my mother…”

“And that’s what you are doing this year as well?”

“No…she died last year.”

“Oh…I am sorry.” He quietly said and gently rubbed my shoulder.

“Where have you been the last 5 years?”

“Oh, I was here and there. The whole music-producing worked out at first but then it took a turn…to the bad. I am now a full-time barista who is trying to sell his shitty music.” He sadly stated.

“I am sure your music isn’t shitty.” I tried to lighten up his mood although I couldn’t tell how his music was; I have never listened to any of it.

“And your girlfriend?”

“Oh, she left me years ago.”

“Sorry to hear that.” I wasn’t sorry.

“What about you? Being a doctor yet?”

“I am, yes.” I smiled and then I inevitably had to think about my fiancée. Should I tell him? Or was it just my little secret? I didn’t want to tell him, actually.

“Wow. That’s great for you, I am happy to hear that. Five year…a long time, right?”

“Mhm…” I hummed in response and closed my eyes, letting the falling snow grace my closed eyelids.

He slowly took my hand and intertwined our fingers, kissing the back of my hand, so careful because he was scared he might break it. Silence fell upon us.

Another year went by and this time I was walking by the river with my husband and first child which had been born that year. And he was sitting there, as usual. I cursed myself for agreeing in walking by the river with my new family.

He caught a glimpse of us and just wanted to stand up but I could see that in a second of thinking about it, he decided against it. His gaze was lingering on me and his eyes were full of longing. I met his gaze in a similar way. But I looked away and to my husband as soon as our eyes met. The look on his face was burning in my mind the whole next year.

Until I walked by the river the next year again, alone.

He sat there, again, looking down most of the time, sipping on his coffee. He didn’t look up until I was standing right next to him and throwing a shadow on his body.

“Here you are. You didn’t tell me you are a mother of a child.”

“That’s because I didn’t know I was pregnant.”

“And that was your husband?”

“It was.”

“You look happy together.”

“We are.”

“You love him?” He simply asked, his eyes being a mirror to the environment around us. The snow was being reflected in them.

“Of course I do. He is the father of my children.”

“That wasn’t my question. You love him truly?”

I gulped. What did he want to say by that? What did he want to know?


“Not as a question. Do you or not?”

“Why do you want to know?”

I just have to know!”

“Why though? You don’t know me! I owe you nothing! You still owe me a stupid bracelet, actually!” I hissed and got slightly mad. What game was he trying to play?

He chuckled. “It all started with that bracelet. Who would have thought that we would sit here 8 years after our first encounter? 8 years ago…your hair was lighter back then, right? You stopped coloring your hair when you got pregnant, right? You still had a very youthful look, very innocent and child-like. And your eyes were just…an ocean of blue diamonds. And your mouth, I hope you are more reserved now as a doctor, you were sassy as hell!” He laughed, causing me to laugh as well, forgetting about the feelings of being mad from before. Why was he saying those things?

“Yes, this encounter 8 years ago…it was a miracle somehow. A miracle that I could meet you. But a shame that we didn’t keep the contact. But some things aren’t meant to be, right?”

“Right. But you got this other friend Jimin.”

“Yeah, at least Jimin was there. I told him a lot about you, he said I was crazy to think that much about a girl which I just met once. But I just said I don’t mind being crazy, then.”

I smiled at his words, knowing how this feeling felt like because I went through the same after I had met him. But fate had had other things in mind for us.

“Why are you telling me those things?”

“I don’t even know. I wanted to do it two years ago but you were still mad at me so I just kept my mouth shut. I now hoped it wouldn’t be too late but I suppose it is.”

“Too late for what?”

To be with you.” He whispered out, still hope in his husky voice that I adored.

But he was right. It was too late at this moment in life. I was happy with my husband, he was a total sweetheart and my children were the lights in my life.

As much as I longed for the man who was sitting next to me, I couldn’t tell him what he wanted to hear. And what I secretly wanted to hear from myself as well.

“I am sorry.” I cried out silently and took his hand in mine. The veins were popping out of his hand and it was far from soft, just like his personality. I caressed the back of his hand with my thumb as he reached out to my face with his other hand to stroke my cheek. With his fingers, he ran over my lips and then replaced them with his lips. And we stayed like that for an eternity, just kissing away the pain and despair which had been built up between us through the years.

We parted, catching for breath from a kiss that took all our energy and passion and he left without a word. And he left for good.

I was still sitting there every year but he would never come back, though. But I still waited, every year, as I got older people were only seeing an old woman sitting by the river, watching the scenery. My children were adults now, the lights of my life were having their own families now and I was proud to say that they were living a wonderful life. My husband died at age 63 from a heart attack. It was sad, he still had so many years to live and enjoy the beauty of the world but he had been taken away from me earlier. Fate had another plan for him.

But I, an old grey-haired woman, with wrinkles in her face was still sitting there every year, waiting for Yoongi, the charming, mysterious guy with the dreamy eyes which competed with the snow falling from the sky. With the gummy smile which caused me to smile as well, with the husky voice which transformed the simplest words in a poem.

But he never came, of course.

But another person came by and sat down on our bench, on a grey winter morning.

It was a man, not really tall, with an eye smile which could light up the whole world, probably. Despite his age, he had a very youthful look on his face; his eyes were full of life.

He reached into his jacket and gave me a white envelope with my name written on it.

I looked at the man in confusion.

“Take it, it is yours after all.”

“Who the heck are you?”

“Oh, right, he told me you had a loose mouth, he was right.” The man laughed as you opened the envelope.

“Who told you that?” I asked in the moment I caught a glimpse of what was put in the envelope. The question was being answered itself as I reached into the envelope and fished out a very certain bracelet. The bracelet.

“Yoongi…who are you? Where is he?” I asked in surprise to ever hear anything from him again.

“I am Jimin. The owner of the wrong phone number you wrote down for him. Thank you for that. I couldn’t have imagined a better best friend in my life than him.”

“You are welcome…I guess? Why isn’t he himself here giving me that? I mean I gave it to him as a present, why would he give it back? And why you?” I asked when it dawned on me.

“Yoongi…he died from heart failure last month. He knew that time was coming when we were getting old and he said I should wait until December to contact you if he dies. I thought I would meet you here.”

“Why didn’t he come again? I waited all the years here? You are joking, right? He is standing behind a tree or something?!”

“He isn’t there anymore, I am sorry. But he loved you, trust me. All he talked about in December, hell, the whole year he talked about you. In his last years even more. He never married, he tried to get into serious relationships but you know, nothing worked out. In the end, he was a broken man. He didn’t want you to see him like that.”

By then, my cheeks were flooded by tears as I was trying to find words to describe how I felt…but there weren’t words to describe this feeling of falling. Just like snow fell. I was falling, too, like someone pulled away the bench I was sitting on.

“What is this?” I asked as I hold a little piece of paper in between my fingers.

“Oh, he said those were just some lines he wrote for you. He never stopped writing these poems and song texts, though. He lived for music. I hope you will remember him a bit with these things. I have to go now. I wish you all the best. If there is something, call me. I still have that wrong number, ha.” He laughed and left me sitting alone, going through the text Yoongi had written in a messy handwriting.  All over again. And I had the bracelet in my other hand. I stayed like this until it was dark and I had to go home.”

“That’s a beautiful story, Mrs. (Y/N). Now, it is time to go to bed, I think. Tomorrow you can continue to tell me the rest but you need some sleep.” The nurse said smiling and pulled the blanket over my body.

“It is a sad story, you don’t have to act like it’s a nice story.” I said, holding a piece of paper in my hand.

“Actually, it is a nice story. Some people aren’t as lucky as you to ever meet their soulmates but you did. That’s something you should consider. Now, have a good night.”

She closed the door and it was silent in my room. I am 87 years old now and living in an old people’s home. I actually never intended to live that long after hearing about Yoongi’s death. I still used to go to the river, hoping he would show up but of course, he never did.

Once I was too weak to live by my own, I joined this home and I was living some good years so far. The nurse already listened to that story a couple of times but I tend to forget I already told her. But she still listens curiously like she hears it for the first time.

It had been a long time without Yoongi and I felt my heart longing for him for quite a while now. Tonight was the night. It was December and I knew I would see him again. I just knew it.

I didn’t know if we were meant-to-be. I never found out in my life. But I would find out afterwards for sure. Death has to come first, the winter has to arrive before the flowers can blossom again; before something can blossom between the two of us-that’s how he would have said it.

I wasn’t afraid when I got to bed that night. I thought about it way too many times to be afraid. I wasn’t afraid because I just knew he would wait for me over there, with his gummy smile and eyes full of hope and dreams, his black hair covered in snow, just like he looked like when we met for the first time.

So I laid down, the bracelet around my wrist and the piece of paper in my hand  which now was all crinkled by all the readings it went through.

I went to bed, knowing I would do my last breath and see the night sky the last time in my life. But I knew it would be the start of something new, something wonderful.

So I read these lines on the paper, in which I found comfort all these years, for the last time.

These lines were saying:

The magic of my encounter with you

Would be burning eternally in my soul.

Elusive touches, exchanged words

In a hurry,

Every year anew,

We met in the mass of people,

And time stopped for us

In the death of the year,

Right before life could blossom again.

But that’s how fast we parted again

Even before there could blossom something between us,

Every year anew.

Were we meant-to-be?

I would never know it in a life-time

But I know that these moments with you

Were my ‘Miracles in December’. 

I read it. All over again.

Eventually, I closed my eyes.

Silence fell upon me.

Originally posted by bwiseoks

Hope you liked it!:3

The prose poem was written by me to get a start for this story. It is very different from what I have written in the past, how did you like it? Feedback is as always very appreciated:3

You Are My Clown (The Joker x Reader)

Chapter 1 - The First Meeting 

Warning(s): talk of killing and sexual acts (No Smut)

Originally posted by i-lost-my-puddin

You walk down the long hallway to your office with a yawns and you reach into your pocket for your key to your office. When you walked to your door the odd sound of silence starts to make you have a eerie feeling as you opening the door to your office you throwing your bag on your deck as you grab your lab coat. You never really cared for the dress code at Arkham Asylum, Wear all black with a lab coat and your key card around your neck with a keychain necklace, It wasn’t a hard thing to do everyday and it was somewhat your style so you had no complaints. But it just didn’t seem so lively for something so grim as an asylum. Lately even in your life that was ‘exciting’ with planning a wedding. It all just seems very gray and lifeless still.

You started at Arkham about two month ago and in those two mouths you hadn’t had any personal therapy sessions with any patients yet. You have assisted in a couple of the old-timers as a trainee and as of this week you’re starting to personal sessions with a patient. You just don’t know who yet. You waited, impatiently, in your site for your boss, Jeremiah Arkham, to give you the case file of your first patient. As you wait for your boss you pull out your phone to see what is up with the news in Gotham. Gotham has always been active with crime and will never not be.

“The Joker Robs Gotham Bank & Trust and Kills 37 People!”

“What?” You thought and you click it to read more. 

The Joker robs Gotham bank & Trust  and takes over $500,000 dollars. The Joker is said to have done this to get the attention of the batman and to just mock batman he kill 13 people in front of him with a machine guns. The cult that follows him haven’t been caught yet and the Joker is in G.P.D custody. Which Commissioner Gordon said to have put “The Joker is in Arkham Asylum for the Safest thing that we can do right now.”.

“Holy shit!” You said under your breath as Mr. Arkham walking into frame.

“Please God!!” You thought as you stood up in respect as Mr. Arkham giving you the files of a patient as he ghost smiles at you as you put your phone in your pocket.

“Ms. (L/n),” he sighs and looks up “I know you are a newcomer but I know I can give this case to you without a problem. You had a 4.00 GPA in all of college for Psychology and you show no signs of being weak willed. So please don’t make a fool of me and this Asylum. Break a leg.” He said and then lift before you could say anything. You nervously say back loudly “Thank you, sir.”

You sighed and look at your files and then opened them. You knew who you got.“(Name unknown) John Doe.” you said in nervousness because you know that the Joker does not really have a name besides, well, the Joker.

Your heart stops and you groan in displeasure as you see the picture of the patient.“Fuck you Gotham.” You said under your breath as you look at the deranged smiling face looking back at you.

You sigh and thought back on what that article said “Maybe this wouldn’t be that bad after all. I would be a medical wizard if I can make him sane. I wonder what Guy would this of this.” You thought and looked at the ring on your finger as you started to read the case files. 

You started dating Guy about two years ago and the relationship was really just a thing because you didn’t want to be alone. Guy was in love with the idea of being in love and you were scared of being alone so a “Perfect couple”. You and him got engaged the simple fact that both of you were comfortable not because you were in love well at least for you it was. But there was one thing that we both decided to do. You and him will have sex after you got married not while you were still boyfriend and girlfriend because you wanted it to be special and with someone you were “In love with”…

You sighed after reading the reports on the “John Doe” and you just take your ring off as you were about to meet him. You weren’t allowed to bring your ring into anywhere besides the office area of the Asylum, because it would be a safety concern, you weren’t really concerned of this regulation. Sadly I kinda like not having a ring on…

You grab a notebook, a pen and the case files as you walk out into the male criminal ward area to meet this joker. 

You walk into the the therapy room. The therapy room was of a table and two metal chairs on either side. In every room there is a closet that can be opened by a key card and in those closets will props to make the patients feel better but mainly used for having recorder and a video camera to record sessions of the patients to study them further. Also some other files in the corner.You sit on the chair furthest away from the door like you were instructed to do with all patients.

You grab the key card around your neck and unlock the closet grabbing an recorder, cassette and a video camera. You set the camera so it would be looking at the patient and you set the cassette in the recorder in only a push of a button would be stopping you. 

The loud metal door frightens you, making you jump back a little, who slammed open by two security guards with a man in Gotham jumpsuit on with a bag over his head and handcuffs on wrists.“Oh hello boys, um, please sit him in the chair. Then please leave.” You said with a nervous voice and you put on your glasses that you kept in your lab coat pocket because you wanted to reread his file again.

“Aw a lady!~” the man said under the bag.

“Also please remove that bag. It is unnecessary for our practices and I don’t need you guys to be in here. Being outside the door will be good enough.” You said rereading his file.

“Yeah, boys! Give me and the doc some alone time.” He said mocking them and haves a gravelly voice like he is trying to be a flirt. The two men took off the bag and then cuffed him onto the table. 

As they did this you see the face of the Joker in real life for the first time. He had really white skin that looked like paper you were writing on. He had no eyebrows which made him look more intimidating and had a J on his cheek, a star on his left eyebrow area and two scars on his eye area. His lips were red even though he had red lipstick on earlier, you could tell, there was lipstick smudged on his cheek, chin and upper lip with a happy smile on his face. He had light blue looking straight at you and he had a green strand of hair on his forehead.

You nervously look back to your papers and you start to write his apprentice and what it might mean. You smile at him and he looks at you with a big unnerving smile. You start the recorder and the camera and he looks into the camera instead of looking at you like he liked the feeling of being in the spotlight.

“Hello Mr. Doe how are you today?” You said with a gentle voice and you look at him.

“Please don’t call me that, Princess. Call me Mistah J, not that bitch ass name. John Doe, huh, sounds like a Harlequin romance novel character.” He said with a slow eye roll and you quickly write now what he said.

“Well Mister J, um, I have to state your name and our reasoning at the Asylum. Would you please tell me your name?” You asked nicely looking at him. 

He slammed his cuffed hands on the table and glared at you with so much hatred.“FUCK! You give a person a Chance and they will take advantage of you. You could have bought me dinner first and fucked me like I matter before just jumping the gun like that. Jesus people these days.” He said and look to the camera like it was a person that would agree to him, you gulped like you did something wrong and wrote down he didn’t want to say his name.

“Well then I have to do the Asylums policy of reading the reasoning of the patient.” You said in an asking manner to him.

“Sure thing, Princess.” He said to you with a dreamy smile. You smile back and look down at the files of him and stated the facts.“Video and Audio recordings of patient #44261 is of the property of Doctor (Y/n) (L/n) and of Arkham Asylum.-”.

“Oh~ So I am your property? I would rather this be the opposite~” he purred and you ignored him as you were still stating his reason for being here.

“The patient has been here for 23 hours and was brought here from authorities,-” you were saying as he butted in.

“You mean the Batman?” He said mockingly and still sore from the loss.

“Who says he was robbing the Gotham Bank & trust. In the heist, you have killed over 37 people and injured over 20.” You said and took a pause from talking to realize that this guy was really dangerous which made you a little overwhelmed.

“Does that turn you on, baby?~ don’t worry I’ll do more if you get all tingly in your little pu-” he said and got cut off from you saying the last things which pissed him off.

“Mr. Doe is here for-”

“I told you not to call me that!”

“Psychiatric Rehabilitation for an hour every Thursday and Monday until the D.A’s find him faking insanity or will continue if found insane-”

“Don’t call me Insane-”

“He is thought of having Psychotic depression,-”

“Everyone gets depressed-”

“Anti-social personality and behavior disorder,-”

“What’s wrong with doing your job-“

"And a high case of psychosis with sociopathic tendencies.”

“Well I just hate people.” He said with an annoyed face and looked at you with intense stare.“You like it when Daddy is mad? Well you bad girl I will punish you for this.” He said and smiled. 

You getting nervous decided to change the topic with a bright red blush on your cheeks. “Well Mister J, why did you rob the bank? Why kill peopl-”

“I wanted money and killing is enjoyable. Next question, (Y/n).” He said bluntly.

“Please call me Dr. (L/n). I want this to be completely professional.” You said with a firm voice.

“Well then I guess I have to finger fuck you under the table then and not on top of the table with the camera on, huh, Doctor (L/n)~” He said like a purr as he put his hands under his chin and leaned his head on them.

 You blush in the thought of you two doing anything like that and you feel a spread of heat in between your legs. You look at your papers, trying to not let yourself go.“That is unnecessary. You say you like killing people? It’s fun?” You ask as you write into your notebook.

“Yes. It amuses me and there is only two things I love more then killing. It’s my Empire and fucking. But yes it’s fun.” He said, smiling at you with a girly crush look to it.

“Well, Sorry, Mr. J our hour is done for today-”

“Oh so you didn’t like our first date?”

“Date? Do you mean session?”

He stares at you with a distant stare and an unfazed look on his face. Then he smirks and he leans forward, towards you, looking at you with the lust of a demon.

“I like you. I hope to see you again.” He says to you as the grands come into the room taking him away from the table, which he was still staring at you as the bag was placed over his face, then walked out of the room. you turned off the recorder and the camera putting them back but as you do so you start thinking about patient #44261.

“I didn’t really get to know him or get any information from him. I wish I knew more about him…” You thought. You start walking back to your office as you start fondling with your ring. 

You couldn’t get the joker out of your head…

You couldn’t get that red cocky smile out of your thoughts…

Oh my god I finally wrote a story about my man joker!! I hope you guys like it please tell me if I did anything wrong and if you want more!!

Chapter 2

Do Not Drink When You’re Sad

The RFA+V+Unknown getting drunk after the events of the last story. This took way longer than I thought it would. I actually have four unfinished fluff stories but this came to me and I like it best. No spoilers as far as I can tell. Again, if there’s someone or something here I wrote wrong, please tell me and I’ll fix it.


Yoosung was devastated. When MC told him they were engaged he didn’t know what to do. He was happy for them of course. They were finally going to marry the man of their dreams, but he never stopped wishing that they’d eventually change their mind and be with him. Eventually MC had to go home so he congratulated them again and left. He didn’t want to go home yet, so he called Zen and asked if he could come over. He didn’t want to be alone.

Zen knew what he was there, Seven told everyone about the engagement on the messenger. Zen knew about Yoosung’s feelings for MC, everyone did, it was obvious. That’s why Zen already had shots ready for when he arrived. Yoosung downed the drinks one by one. He wasn’t as much of a lightweight as he was in college, but he still got drunk pretty fast. He didn’t get all handsy with Zen this time though, he just talked, and Zen listened.

Eventually, Zen put him to bed, and he was alone with his thoughts. All he could think about was the life he could’ve had with MC. MC, he thought, they’ll make me feel better. He pulled out his phone and dialed their number.

“…Hello?” A sleepy voice answered.

“MC” Yoosung laughed, “I was feeling really sad tonight, but hearing your voice always makes me feel better.”

“Yoosung, are you drunk?”

“No, not at all,” he was still laughing, “I just had a few drinks with Zen.”

“MC? Who are you talking to?” Yoosung heard another sleepy voice in the background.

“It’s just Yoosung, Sae.” MC told the voice, “I think he had a little too much to drink with Zen again.” Yoosung suddenly began to cry. “Yoosung?” MC asked worried now, “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“No.” Yoosung laugh-cried, “But you are! You and Seven are great!”

MC began to whisper. “Yoosung, I think it’s time for you to go to bed.”

“But MC~ I still wanna hear your voice!”

MC didn’t know what to do now, so they just stayed on the phone and listened, going into the other room.

“You know MC, I really really like you. I always have, since you first came on the messenger. But you never liked me~” Yoosung whined, “You like Seven. I was so excited to meet you then. I was going to tell you at the party! But you only wanted to see Seven.” Yoosung sobbed. “And now you’re getting married! Hooray for you!” Yoosung

MC was speechless. They didn’t know how to react to that.

Zen suddenly barged into the room and took the phone from Yoosung. “I’m sorry MC, I’m afraid I gave Yoosung too much to drink again.”

“Hey! No I didn’t!” Yoosung tried to take it back but Zen pushed him back on the bed. “Give my phone back you selfie freak! I’m not done yet!”

“Please forget about everything he said”

“R-right.” MC Said.

“Goodnight then.”

“Goodnight MC! I love you!” Yoosung yelled from the background.



Yoosung woke up at two in the afternoon feeling with a splitting headache. He noticed that he wasn’t in his own house and tried to remember what happened the night before. He immediately grabbed for his phone when he realized. Logs: MC Today 1:37a.m. Outgoing 5 mins, 24 secs. Oh no. Yoosung prayed with everything he had that he didn’t say what he thought he said. He called MC again to ask if he said anything strange, but they never picked up. He was freaking out now. He didn’t know what he was going to do. His thoughts were interrupted by Zen knocking on his door and bringing in some lunch. “You’re finally awake,” Zen said, his expression was grim, and Yoosung knew that it wasn’t a dream. He felt tears fill his eyes again. Zen placed the food on the table and sat next to him, not looking directly at him, “I spoke with MC this morning.” Yoosung already knew what was coming and said nothing. “They think it’s best that you don’t see each other for a while.” Yoosung nodded and began to sob again.


MC and Jumin spent the afternoon chatting and drinking wine. Jumin loved those moments with them, when he could pretend that they were actually his, even though he couldn’t touch them. Jumin got carried away and drank too much, but MC had yet to notice. Jumin stared at them silently for a long time while they talked to Elizabeth 3rd. He loved them, he wanted nothing more than to hold them in his arms and whisper sweet nothings in their ear.

MC finally noticed him staring and spoke, “Is something wrong, Jumin?”

“You are so beautiful,” he slurred, “I’m so lucky to have you.”

“Jumin…? I think you’ve had a bit too much wine.” They said, reaching for the bottle.

Jumin held their hand, stopping them. “No I haven’t.” He said in the same manner he used to when they first met. He brushed some hair out of their face and they stared at him. “I love you so much.” He finally said.

MC’s eyes widened and they tried to pull away but Jumin kept a firm grip on them.

Jumin stared intensely at them, “I’ve always loved you, but you chose Yoosung.”

MC finally ripped their arm out of his grip, “I’m sorry Jumin. I have to go.” MC said as they left the penthouse.

Jumin stood there alone for a while. His head was still foggy from the alcohol. He sat down, placed his head in his hands, and began to sob.


Jumin has been on edge ever since the incident with MC happened. He’s been more irritable and snapped at employees more often much to Jaehee’s chagrin, but she empathized with him. MC didn’t contact him again after that, not that he expected them to. He was so upset with himself that he let his emotions get the better of him like that, and now he couldn’t take it back.

Jaehee came in one afternoon with his mail. She looked on sadly at Jumin. She knew what was in one of the letters she handed him, she had one too. She soon left though, because she knew that Mr. Han didn’t like being watched when he worked.

Jumin stared at the pink envelope. It had MC and Yoosung’s names on it. He knew what it was. He was actually surprised that he was still invited, but he should have known MC wouldn’t have wanted to cut him off completely. His chest hurt, but he decided that he would still go. Jumin let out a sigh. He swallowed his feelings and got back to work.


Zen left the party later than everyone else did. He wanted to congratulate MC on the fact that they were having a baby again. They way MC smiled at him almost made him cry. He wanted so badly for that to be him, for him to be the one that woke up next to them every morning, for him to be the one they were starting a family with, but that was never going to happen.

Zen walked the streets and ended up in front of a bar so decided to drown his sorrows with alcohol. He knew it was a bad idea, but at that moment, he didn’t care.

He drank way more than he normally would. He actually felt a little dizzy this time. The bartender cut him off so he decided to leave. The alcohol didn’t help. Of course it didn’t. He was hurt, he was angry, and he was about to do something very stupid.

Zen ran back to Jumin’s penthouse. Jumin told the guards to let him in because he thought it was an emergency. Jumin opened the door immediately when he knocked.

As soon as he saw them, he exploded. “Jumin, how dare you? Why did you steal them away from me?”

Both Jumin and MC were speechless. Zen stood there red-faced and yelling, tears streaming down his eyes.

Zen turned his attention to MC now, “MC! Why did you choose Jumin and not me? I love you MC, I could’ve made you happy too!”

Jumin saw how hurt MC was. Jumin was furious. He had his guards restrain Zen, and called Jaehee to take him home.


Zen messed up. He really messed up. As soon as he realized what happened, he tried to call to apologize, but Jumin wouldn’t have it. He would not let anyone upset MC like that again, and Zen didn’t blame him.

Jaehee went to his house a few days later to check on him. He was a wreck. There were bottles of alcohol around the living room. He obviously didn’t learn his lesson. MC helped him quit smoking two years earlier, but he fell off the wagon again.

Zen hated himself. It hurt him to see MC happy with someone else, but not seeing them killed him. Jaehee hated to see him like this, but she knew that nothing she could say would make him feel any better. She decided that it would be best to just put him to bed and clean up for him.

Zen lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. Jaehee was kind enough to listen to him ramble on about what happened, but she left earlier to clean up his house. All he could think about was MC, how he wished he could take it all back, but he couldn’t.



Jaehee was smashed. Jaehee was smashed. She and MC had way too much wine, and were then laughing uncontrollably at everything.

MC pointed at the tv, “look! Look, it’s Zen!” They said for the fourth time, “he’s so spicy. He twinkle twinkles.” MC fell off the couch.

Jaehee watched them and laughed harder. She loved them so much. Jaehee crawled off the couch and went on top of MC. MC stared up at her still giggling. “I love you so much MC.”

“I love you too Jaehee!” MC replied.

“No, no. I love you the most!” She collapsed on MC and gave them a big hug.

MC laughed again. “That’s why we’re best friends, silly!”

Jaehee’s heart cracked. “You don’t get it!” She whined, “I love you. As more than a best friend. I always hoped that I had even the slightest chance with you.” Jaehee waited for them to respond, but MC stayed quiet. Jaehee then passed out on top of them.


Jaehee was so nervous. She remembered everything from the night before, and she prayed with everything she had that it was a dream. Unfortunately, when Jaehee noticed she was sprawled on her living room floor with a blanket on her, she knew what happened the night before was very real. Jaehee went into the kitchen and saw MC was preparing breakfast. She gathered all her courage to apologize, but before she could, MC noticed her and smiled.

“We had quite a night, didn’t we?” They said, handing her a cup of coffee.

Jaehee faltered. “U-uh, yes we did.”

MC went back to cooking.

“I-I must apologize MC, I said some inappropriate things last night, and I’m hoping that you can forgive me and forget that any of it happened.”

MC looked at her confused, “I’m sorry Jaehee, but I have no idea what you’re talking about. I got so wasted, I can barely remember anything that happened after the second movie.”

“W-what?” Jaehee wanted to leap for joy. They didn’t remember!

MC just stood there staring at her. “Did we do something weird, Jaehee?”

Jaehee tried her best to conceal her blush. “Uh, no-no-nothing!” She stuttered, “We just stayed up and talked about Zen all night.” Jaehee prayed that she sounded convincing enough.

MC didn’t look completely convinced, but dropped the topic anyway.

Jaehee let out a sigh of relief. She was safe for another day. She promised herself that she would never be this careless again, lest she lose the only person that actually made her happy.


V was drinking in his apartment alone. He’s been doing that a lot recently. Ever since Jaehee and MC got together, he’s been trying hard to distance himself from them. MC was persistent, they kept trying to invite V out, but V always came up with an excuse not to go. It killed him, especially when he saw how hurt they were whenever he would blow them off, and Yoosung did not appreciate that V was so inactive again, but he believed it was for the best, lest he do something stupid that would hurt them.

He was feeling quite lightheaded already when he received a text from MC.

MC: V? Are you okay?

V knew that he should have made the conversation as short as possible, but the way MC texted him in the middle of the night worried him.

V: I’m fine, MC. Is something wrong?

MC: I’m sorry for messaging you so late, it’s just that I feel that you’ve been avoiding me lately, and Jaehee convinced me to finally talk it out with you. Have I done something wrong?

Had it been any other situation, he would have told them that he’s just been busy and that they shouldn’t worry. But V was very drunk that night, and he didn’t think about what he was going to do next.

V: If I can be honesf MC, I’m not finr. I’m decastated. I trued to be sipportuve, I tried to stay awsy, so you cab be gappy with Jaehee but it’s been do djfficjlt. I love you MC, I have fpr sp long, and it killd me that I can’r shor you.

V was so tired. He could barely keep his eyes open. Finally he just gave up and fell asleep.


V woke up at noon with his phone in his hand. He tried to recall the events from the night before then immediately sat up. Oh no. V turned on his phone. He saw a tiny envelope next to the signal bar. He received a message from his service provider as well so he couldn’t immediately see what the message said. He felt as though his life was over, he unlocked his phone, his fingers shaking so hard, he had to retry a few times. Finally, he was able to unlock it and it showed the conversation he had with MC. V let out a sigh of relief. Apparently, his drunk self mistook the enter button for the send button. V thanked every entity he could think of and deleted the message. He read the last thing MC sent him.

MC: ??

V couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t keep avoiding them, especially if things like this happened whenever he did. He decided to let himself just be a little selfish. He finally decided on what to reply.

V: MC, I’m sorry, I fell asleep last night before I could reply. I’ve just been busy lately, but if you’re free today, we could have dinner at your favorite restaurant.


Saeran took another sip of his beer. It’s been days since he was rejected by MC, and he hasn’t seen them since. It’s not like they haven’t tried, MC wanted them to remain friends, and they were very persistent. If you check Saeran’s phone, you’ll see 38 messages and 47 missed called just on that day. They even went to his house a few times, but Saeran told Saeyoung to pretend he wasn’t home though MC tried to bribe him with Honey Buddha Chips. He was getting tired. Saeran took another sip, he was already getting quite drunk and grumpy, and it didn’t help that his phone was buzzing again. He finally just decided to turn it off.

Saeran was mad. How dare they? They rejected him, and now they wouldn’t leave him alone? Were they planning on stringing him along forever? The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. Saeran suddenly stood up so fast that he got dizzy. He was going to go to them and tell them exactly how he felt about this whole situation.

He went to V’s apartment. He knew they’d be there since he heard Saeyoung talking to them when he snuck out. He honestly couldn’t believe how easy it was considering how much security they have. Saeran peeked in through the window and saw them. MC was staring at their phone. They looked so depressed. They dialed a number again but looked even more upset after leaving a message. It made Saeran’s chest hurt. Saeran was about to call them when he saw V approach them. V gave them a hug and they gave him the sweetest smile. Saeran’s never seen them that happy. Saeran backed away. MC was happy. They didn’t need him messing anything up. As much as they missed him, they were probably better off without him. He decided to go back home.


Saeran was in his room alone. He’s been in there a few days now and he only went out to use the bathroom or get the food Saeyoung left at the door. Saeyoung was worried about him, he knew what was going on and wanted to help, but he knew that Saeran needed time alone to think. He told Saeran that when he was ready to come out, he’d be there for him.

Saeran looked at his phone and sighed. They were still trying to reach him. He switched off his phone again and hugged a pillow.

After a while, Saeran heard a knock on his door. He stood up immediately this time, not waiting for his brother to leave. He opened the door a crack and peeked out and Saeyoung saw him.  Saeran opened the door wider and let him in.


Saeyoung didn’t normally drink. He didn’t like it. But he somehow ended up in a bar a few blocks away from his house after exploding at MC. He stared at the drink he ordered. T was his fifth one. He told himself he needed something to numb the pain he was feeling and for a moment, he thought it was helping. That was, until his phone started vibrating.

It was Saeran. Saeyoung nearly tossed his phone at the bartender. How dare he? He already took away the best thing that’s ever happened to him, was he trying to rub it in his face? Saeran let it go to voicemail and switched off his phone. He chugged his drink then ordered another one.

After a while, the bartender had to cut him off, and Saeyoung wobbled away, upset. He was not done drinking his feelings. If anything, he was even sadder than before. He leaned on the wall outside and cried. It was closing time anyway. Suddenly, a car appeared that looked like one of his. He turned to the bouncer that’s been watching him, “Hey, look! That looks just like one of my babies!” He laughed.

The bouncer just stared at him.

A red-haired man suddenly came out of the car. “Saeyoung, there you are! I’ve been looking all over for you! Why did you turn off your phone?”

“OMG! It’s another me! I’m not that drunk am I?” Saeyoung was about to fall over, but Saeran caught him.

“Let’s get you home, Saeyoung.”

“Ooh! You’re Saeran! I love you Saeran!”

Saeran chuckled, “I love you too.”

“But wait!” Saeyoung pulled away, almost fallng over, “I’m mad at you right now.”

“I know.” Saeran tried to reach for him again, “but-“

“No. You took them away! I loved them and you took them away!” Saeyoung was crying now.


“But it’s all okay!” Saeyoung started laughing. “You’re happy, right? And you’ll make MC happy.” He held his chest. “My heart crumbled into little pieces, but that’s all I ever wanted! I want you two to be happy.”

Saeyoung wobbled a bit and Saeran caught him again.

“I want the two of you to be happy together.”

Saeran helped him into the car and Saeyoung leaned on the window with his eyes closed.

“But never touch my babies without my permission again.” He suddenly mumbled. “They’re mine.”

Saeran smiled. “Okay brother, I’m sorry.”


Saeyoung woke up in his bed smelling like alcohol. What happened last night? He felt the bed for MC but they weren’t there. He reached for his glasses and suddenly sat up, making himself dizzy. He looked around, all their things were gone. Oh, right. Saeyoung saw that his favorite breakfast was on his desk, but he didn’t feel like eating yet. He lay back down and stared up at the ceiling. They’re probably moved into Saeran’s room by now. Saeyoung began to cry again.

This is for the best. He thought, It’s not like anything will happen if I stay upset, and they’ll be happy together. Saeyoung pulled the covers over his head and went back to sleep.


~I don’t have Instagram so I’m sorry If something it’s wrong and also English it’s not my first language! If there’s something I wrote wrong tell me please~

I tried to do something like those things but I don’t have a computer where I can draw, so I did it on my sketchbook! Hope you like it! Eliza and her family went to the beach because it’s so hot, that it feels like summer!! (At least in Spain)

anonymous asked:

Does King get her nickname from her height?

The short answer: surprisingly, no.

King’s nickname originates from a pun on a Japanese pop culture sensation. This answer got pretty long because I had to do some digging for it, so I put a tl;dr version at the bottom if you want to skip to that!

Someone actually asked her a question about this on Uraraji (Uranohoshi Girls’ High School Radio)! King was the guest while Aikyan was the host on Ep7 (May 25th), and the very first question they got in the letter corner was, “King, why are you called ‘King’?”

King laughs about it since “King” sounds very almighty and at first glance, doesn’t appear to have anything to do with her name. Apparently, it comes from “Takatsuking”, a pun on her last name (King has had several nicknames, which include “Kyanako”, “Kaako”, and “Takatsuking” according to her Twitter).

King mentions that when the cast members of Aqours all met up for the first time and introduced themselves, she told everyone that they could call her either “Takatsuking” or “Kanako” - whichever they were most comfortable with. Everyone chose “Takatsuking” since it left such an impression on them. Since “Takatsuking” is kinda long, at some point people decided to shorten it to “King”…and apparently King herself has no idea exactly when this happened. If she was walking on the streets and someone called out “King!” to her, she’d probably go “wait wut who are you talking to?” lol.

You can listen to that segment from the radio here. Hm…now that you’ve mentioned it, since that part is relatively short, maybe I should sub it? I don’t know if people would be interested in something in that though.

Anyways, what about the origin of “Takatsuking” itself? Back in 2015, King wrote a tweet wishing her fans a happy Halloween, and also talked about this nickname. Roughly, she said something along the lines of “The origin of Takatsuking… ‘everybody!!!’ (that guy that does this on Monday night lol)”. Considering how vague her response was, it was likely some kind of reference to something well-known in Japanese pop culture.

After some Googling, I dug up this seiyuu info site which explained the meaning behind it. My Japanese isn’t the best (so if anyone finds something wrong here, please feel free to tell me), but I believe what King was referring to was a program aired on Monday nights hosted by Matsuko Deluxe and Murakami Shingo. Murakami’s a Japanese entertainer known for being a member of the idol group Kanjani Eight (関ジャニ∞), and had a single titled “愛loveyou“ (ai love you). Clips from the PV were used as comedic fodder on his show since he acts hilariously gangsta in it (a stark contrast to his usual persona). Lines from the song include “俺はKING!“ (I’m the KING!) and “Put your hands up! Everybody!”, the latter of which was probably what King was referring to in her tweet. Murakami’s hometown is apparently the city of Takatsuki, located in Osaka Prefecture, so his line “I’m the KING!” led to him being labeled “Takatsuking” on the late-night show from “高槻の王” (takatsuki no ou), or “King of Takatsuki”. 

Apparently, this late-night Monday program is really popular among people in their teens and 20s, with an audience share of over 10% (which is quite big for a TV show). There’s no doubt that King is within this audience, since she’s in that age range and, of course, referred to that very show in her tweet. We can subsequently infer that King’s nickname “Takatsuking” was born from a mash-up of Murakami’s title and her own last name, “Takatsuki”.

Thus, it appears that “King” has no relation to her height after all! I think your guess was pretty solid though - I actually wondered the same thing myself, haha. I guess we both learned something today, so thanks for sending me this ask!

tl;dr: popular Monday night show in Japan has a dude referred to as the “King” of Takatsuki (city in Osaka) >> Takatsuki Kanako gains the nickname “Takatsuking” since the pun works with her last name >> Nickname is too long so it gets abbreviated to “King”. RIP King’s actual name.

Feels Like Heaven To Me

Description: The journey isn’t always easy but the destination probably wouldn’t be as rewarding if it was. 

Warnings: tiny mention of food once, trans related angst (but not a lot), swearing.

Word Count: 1,043

ao3 link

note: I am a cis girl, and apart from some gender confusion myself I have no personal experience in this, hence why I wrote mostly from the cis characters side. I wrote this because the idea came to me, and it felt right, but i urge you to tell me if I have said something wrong in this at all. I spent more time writing this than I normally would for a short piece because I wanted to be very careful as to not hurt anyone, so please please contact me if I have made a mistake.

Keep reading

Post Scriptum about Vento Aureo, Hirohiko Araki.

this is a little P.S. that Araki wrote about VA. It’s written at the end of the 10th volume of VA that i own in italian, and since i know there isn’t much stuff about VA going around i decided to translate it myself. Please note that i did all the translation by myself and that english isnt my first language so PLEASE if something isn’t clear or if i spelled something wrong TELL ME so i can get better and change the post with the correct translation. All your help will be appreciated a lot! Since it’s kinda long i put everything under the cut

Keep reading


So… I want to point out a few cute things that I noticed in this video

1. When they go out of the restaurante, Selena goes to one side and Demi goes to the other, Demi looks at Selena and it looks like she’s a little bit disapointed that she couldn’t say goodbye to her best friend Love of her life.

2. The camera follows Selena and she remembers that she didn’t say goodbye to her love, (oh what a silly girl you are Gomez)

3. When she turns around Demi wastes no time and walks towards Selena, but wait…

4. Someone is getting in the middle so she tells the man that is getting on her way “Hey, can you move!” so he does and then… *Takes a deep breath*

5. They hug each other so tight that I just can’t handle it, and they say “I love you” to each other…

6. Demi being the amazing girlfriend she is, waits until Selena drives off to get out of the place and follow her beautiful girlfriend

I don’t know about you but I think this is really cute and it just makes me want to set myself on fire.

If I wrote something wrong please let me know and I’ll correct it, Thank you :)

Can you protect me? SVT reaction

Seventeen reaction to you saying you like protective boyfriends

Hope you like it ^^

PS: Since you didn`t say who i should write about, I’m just gonna do this for the performance unit. Please remember for the next time: I do have a limit for seventeen.

+ i wrote this as “Y/N is the Girlfriend”, please as the requester tell me what you want so that I don’t do anything wrong :)


Hoshi: I think hoshi would be soo calm about it, like not thinking that it was something new. Hoshi is kinda like a protecrive boyfriend already, so he would be the same as before. Maybe he watches out for you more since he know that you want hi to be protective but that’s all. 

Originally posted by xiuchens


Jun: Jun would be like hoshi tbh. He is already pretty protective. But I can see him changing his attitude a bit, like being extremely careful, and wathcing every step of yours. Having his arms around you while you’re walking outside, just to make sure you’re safe.

Originally posted by constellia

Minghao: Ohhh, this fluffball. Immediately after you say that, he’d ask you things like “Jagi, did I do something wrong?” or “Don’t you feel safe around me?”. Like your question will make him so insecure. And from that day on he’ll try to be so much closer to you outside, always holdings your hands and stuff.

Originally posted by shownusgrl

Dino: Dino is still pretty young, that’s why I think he would react the strongest. I see him asking the same questions like minghao, but with a fear in his voice. He’d assume that something happened and that he wasn’t able to protect you. I can even see him tear up about that. Even though he knows that everything is fine. At first he’d be super uncomfortable outside because he knows, he has to be close to you, but after awhile he’d get used to it.

Originally posted by junhuitherealvampire


Hope you liked it ^^

Oh goood this was so bad, I’m sorry. I don’t think the reactions are good because they are so similar, neither did I find the right Gifs 

Make sure to leave other requests for BTS and Seventeen ^^Here: (You can also tell me if Y/N is a boy or girl.)

PS: please make sure to tell me which unit or which specific members you want for seventeen because they are so many members and I don’t want the reactions to be so similar. If you don’t i’ll choose them myself (max 5). But if the reactions are different I’ll do them in parts, but then again it depends on the request. ^^

Plus: Check out my twitter profile that I made for Zitao Imagines and Scenarios ^^ 

Gasoline lyrics

hi. so i decided to write the lyrics to ‘gasoline’. i hope they’re correct, i wrote from listening.

- - -

I smell heartbreak on my hands.

I feel sick to my stomach as i begin to stand.

I see your outline in my bed.

In the same spot I watched him rest his head.

I’ve done you wrong, I regret it.

I write this song, try to forget it.

I feel this emptiness in my chest.

It feels surreal, but I’m feeling stressed.

I need to do something.

I fucked up, for nothing.

Now i gotta just tell someone.

Tell someone what I’ve done.


Please bathe me now, wash me clean.

Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline.

Bathe me now, wash me clean.

Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline.

Oh no, like gasoline.


I wake up, the morning after.

You call but I don’t answer.

And I can’t look you in the eye, no matter how hard I try.

You deserve a forever, not a boy looking for better.

But as long as you’re still here, I’ll try to keep you near.


Please bathe me now, wash me clean.

Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline.

Bathe me now, yeah, wash me clean.

Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline.


Please bathe me now, wash me clean.

Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline.

Bathe me now, yeah, wash me clean.

Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline.


Bathe me now, wash me clean.

Just set my heart on fire, just like gasoline.

- - -

phanbbys  asked:

Hey Marc! I was re watching the Olicity date scene (because I love them!) when I saw something I didn't notice the first time I watched it. I have one question that may or may not be a spoiler. You see, I love Arrow and everything about it. Before the bomb goes off and Oliver says, "Well maybe I was wrong-" Felicity then says something like "Oliver I have to tell you-" but the bomb explodes. What was she going to say? It is now killing me! I need to know! It sounded urgent, so please help me! :)

Agh.  I wrote that over a year ago.  I have zero memory of what she was going to say.  I’m sorry.

anonymous asked:

I think some people are upset because the brothers codependency has apparently decreased in the latter seasons? I obviously don't agree but that's what someone on my tl said?


hello nonnie <33 i think i know who you’re talking about… but anyhoo, let’s prove em wrong!

let me start off by saying that i love kripke. spn is his baby and the winchesters are too, and i love the man for giving me something so beautiful and amazing.

but please don’t forget that kripke’s original intent was to end the codependency. sam was supposed to save the world and suffer for all eternity while dean tried to live an apple pie life. so im here to tell that while ofc there is codependency in the early seasons – duh it has to start somewhere – it is actually the latter seasons which are far more stark about it. 

Let’s start at the beginning


Dean is with lisa, but the moment sam comes back, it’s done. Lisa says it herself “[our relationship was over] the moment sam walked through that door” “you two have the craziest, tangled-up, most unhealthy thing I’ve ever seen.”

Keeping in mind two things: this is the woman dean dreamed about – she was his idea of a happy ending, and he willingly gives it up just to be with his brother. Also, sam is soulless at this point. He doesn’t need dean and he doesn’t need to find him – but he still does. More than that, he tries to be the brother dean knows and loves.

now comes a hotly debated thing in the fandom – dean jamming sam’s soul back. im not here to talk about anything except wincest so, let’s talk about how dean wanted his brother back so bad that he risked sam’s insanity. He needed his brother – his real brother – so bad that death’s warning didn’t really mean much.

Now let’s talk about sam’s end. How he accepts centuries of pain and torture because “you know me. You know why. I’m not leaving my brother alone out there.”


After cas breaks sam’s wall and sam is tormented by Lucifer, it is dean’s words and dean’s touch that help bring sam out of it. More than that, sam allows Lucifer back into his head when dean goes missing, because he would rather be tortured by the devil than be without his brother.

Also, when dean thinks bobby’s dead, he leaves him a voicemail saying, If you’re gone, I swear I am gonna strap my Beautiful Mind brother into the car and I’m gonna drive us off the pier.” Dean is so out of his mind with grief and sadness, but even then, he refuses to die without his brother. More than that, he will kill them both himself. A suicide pact is basically canon – idk about the person on your tl, but that sounds like codependency to me.

And ofc , in the finale, after dean disappears, the look on sam’s face is enough.


Im not gonna go into the whole purgatory looking thing because im not here to defend my bby rn – im here talking about wincest. But I will say this, SAM HAD NO IDEA WHERE DEAN WAS. HE HAD NO CAS, NO BOBBY, NO CROWLEY, NO ANGELS, NO KEVIN, AND NO DEMONS FOR HELP. SAM THOUGHT DEAN WAS IN HEAVEN AND HE NEVER WANTED TO DISTURB THAT.

Let’s talk about how the night sam hit a dog, he was out of his mind and was near suicidal [I will link that post as well] because he’d lost his everything and had no idea what to do. It’s the only reason him and amelia were together – there’s a reason meg calls her a unicorn. It wasn’t real, but it kept sam alive.

Now when dean comes back, their relationship is rocky as hell because dean can’t get over the fact that sam was with a girl and sam cant get over how important benny is to dean. Sam always believes in giving people second chances, but he puts a tail on benny with a crazy hunter to find out reasons to kill him. That is straight up jealousy.

We all know that dean is extremely possessive about sam, but sam is as well – he goes pretty damn postal when he thinks that dean might reject him [see: sacrifice, see: southern comfort, death glare upon being told that benny is the only one who never let dean down]

Ofc, when push comes to shove, both sam and dean give up their “partners” for each other – proving how no one really matters except each other.

The rest of the season is dean worried about sam and the trials, and how dean willingly kills his friend to get his brother out, and ofc, the wincest holy grail of all time [see: sacrifice]

Im just gonna stick that entire dialogue here because yeah

Sam: You want to know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down. I can’t do that again.
Dean: Sam –
Sam: What happens when you’ve decided I can’t be trusted again? I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another – another vampire? Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother just –

Dean: Hold on, hold on! You seriously think that? Because none of it – none of it – is true. Listen, man, I know we’ve had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I’ve said some junk that set you back on your heels. But, Sammy… come on. I killed Benny to save you. I’m willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don’t you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I’m begging you.


ARE YOU KIDDING ME THE FUCKING PREMIERE IS AN ODE TO CODEPENDENCY???? Once again, another one of dean’s hotly debated actions. How he can’t live without his brother so he manipulates him into being possessed by angel so that sam is still with him. How the part of sam that wants to live is dean, and “there aint no me if there aint no you.”

Ntm that dean did p much everything to make sure that gadreel kept healing sam. And even when they break up, dean is so out of his mind with fury and grief that he accepts the mark of cain. And you know, breakup scruff.

Then comes the tiptoe, the if you wanna be brothers and their unhealthy codependency out there in the open, for everyone to see.

Ofc, guess what?? They go right back. “what happened to you being okay with this?” “I LIED”

Lol that’s all you need to know.



So this is an eerie reminder of s4 – we see sam crazed “where is my brother” doing extremely gray things to get his brother back – once again showing that they really will go to any lengths for each other.

Nothing backs him down – not even finding out that dean is a demon. Hell he fuckin steals blood to cure his brother – not resting until he’s cured.

And then of course, the amount of im-gonna-save-my-brother bender that sam goes on in this season is my life tbh. The “i cant lose you. I wont lose you.”

The “this is my life and I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother – I don’t wanna do it with my brother and if he’s gone –“


And ofc, how sam brings dean back, how he will give himself up to save his brother, and how all dean needs is his brother’s faith in him to bring him back. wow no codependency at all right?? Lolololol


I’m just gonna leave this here

SAM: Saving people means all of the people, Dean. Not just that baby. Not just each other. I unleashed a force on this world that could destroy it … to save you.

DEAN: And I told you not to.

SAM: And I’d do it again. In a second, I would do it again. And that is what I’m talking about. This isn’t on you. It is on us. We have to change.

DEAN: What are you thinking?

I don’t give a flying fuck what anyone says about s11 – I love it because not only do I have my boys accepting their codependency, I have them reasoning with it, finding ways to make it better for everyone else, and ACTUALLY FUCKING TALKING TO EACH OTHER AND HAVING FAITH IN EACH OTHER.

And of course, I leave you with the beauty that was 11x10

you’re betting on dean?” “I always have”

“my big brother’s gonna walk through that door and he’s gonna kick your ass”

“[don’t worry about sam] im sorry, have you met me?”

“this is about me, having faith in my friends, having faith in my family. We will find a way.”