it hurts my heart so much that even probably right now could wanting to be texting isak so badly because he just wants to feel normality, like he felt all last week when he was at isak’s place, because now that he /knows/ that he can be happy with isak, he would like to have that as a permenant thing in his life.
but, everytime he’d wanna press “send”, he sees isak’s last text to him, telling even to stop texting him because he’s finding it hard wrapping his head around all of this.
and so he just … deletes the entire text he was gonna send isak at first and puts his phone away, because, no, even now, isak comes first for even. and if isak doesn’t want him to text, he won’t.
but that painful, crushing feeling of “i’m gonna lose him, aren’t i?”, must be eating its way inside even’s soul and flesh and finding a place to settle itself, cement itself, into even’s mind and bones.
oh god :(