so one number which is actually 19 has two characters in the spot

Tales of Delicious Revenge from a Recovering Retail Worker

I discovered this sub a while ago and it has breathed new life into my withered soul. Today, it’s time that I return the favor.

These tales of petty revenge all took place over the three long years that I had the misfortune of working retail at a big-box store best known for its red bullseye logo and bitchy middle-class clientele. Enjoy.

ONE: THE TAG SWITCHER
I was working in the fitting room one night when this lady bustles in with 3000 different items of clothing that she wanted to try on. Unfortunately my store had just lifted the item limit for the fitting room, so I begrudgingly had to let her take everything back.

She proceeds to make a HUGE mess in the fitting room (leaving clothes inside-out all over the floor, tags ripped off of items, size stickers peeled off and slapped onto the wall… the whole nine yards).

After she leaves, I report the ripped off tags to Assets Protection (per fitting room policy) and, figuring that would be the extent of my revenge, I resigned to cleaning up the mess she left me.

Then I get a call from the manager. He wants me up at the registers to do back up. I had worked the registers before, but it was exceptionally rare for me to get pulled away from the fitting room to do backup. Still, I don’t protest and I head up to the register.

Guess who my first customer is? Yep, the mess-making bitch from the fitting room. The manager has directed her straight to me, and I can tell from the wide-eyed look of horror on her face that she realizes she has just been lead into a trap.

She slowly begins to plop her items onto the conveyerbelt and tries to make nervous small-talk. At first I assume she’s just feeling awkward about the mess that she left… but when I get a better look at her items, I immediately realize there’s something much fishier going on.

Her purchase consists entirely of women’s clothing, and I recognize most of the items as brand new stuff that has recently come in. Stuff that should cost full price. So when I see nearly every single item’s price tag covered with a bright red 70% off clearance sticker, I realize that something’s up. When I look down at the first item from her pile, my suspicions are confirmed: the item I’m holding in my hands is a woman’s Mossimo Black clothing item, but it has a bright blue Circo tag that belongs on infant boy clothes.

Busted! This bitch was switching tags on clothes to get a lower price! Not only that, but she was so brazen (or stupid) that she used tags from the wrong department!

I don’t make it immediately obvious that I’ve figured out her scheme. Instead, I think fast. From my experience in the fitting room, I know every item of clothing has a little white tag on the inside that has a nine-digit item code. So instead of scanning the items, I proceed to type in each and every item manually, using the ACTUAL numbers inside each garment.

The woman watches this all unfold with a nauseous look on her face, as item after item rings up at full price ($19 - $29, compared to the $2 or $4 price tags she had stuck on each item). As her total grows, so does the look of combined hatred and fear on her face.

Finally she stammers something about “coming back later” and runs off towards the exit. The Assets Protection guy watches her walk out, then comes over to me. He reveals that he had been watching this chick before she even went into the fitting room, but he didn’t have enough on camera to approach her. Since I was the only team member working that night who was familiar with the clothing / tags, the manager put me on the register to check her out.. literally!

TWO: THE PHONE SHOPPER
It’s the week before Christmas and the store is frantic. I’m manning the phones (which are ringing off the hook), and one night I get a call from Bitch Princess, who wants to know if we have any [insert name of whatever animatronic hatching robot dog toy every kid had to have that year].

Now the store’s holiday policy said we could confirm availability over the phone, but we weren’t supposed to put high-demand items (like the barking bird robot thing) on hold for a customer. Regardless, I was still un-jaded enough to like hooking people up (I’m still waiting on that lifetime of good retail karma to kick in…)

I let BP know that this highly-coveted toy has been flying off the shelves for weeks and I’m doubtful that we have any in stock, but I can happily check for her if she’s willing to go on a brief hold. She impatiently agrees to the hold, and I set the phone down.

After being slightly delayed by a customer that ambushed me on the sales floor, I miraculously find ONE of these stupid toys on the shelf. I grab it and head back to my post, excited to tell BP I just saved Christmas, but when I get back I find the phone ringing again. Recognizing the number on the caller ID display, I quickly deduce that Bitch Princess has hung up and is now calling back.

I barely get a chance to recite my scripted greeting before BP cuts me off, yelling that I put her on hold for “30 minutes” (more like 7), that she’s a customer and it’s my job to assist her, some nonsense about her having priority over the customers in the store, blah blah blah. I want to point out that literally NONE of what she’s saying is true, but I keep my lips sealed.

Instead, in a ridiculously pleasant voice, I say: “ma’am, thank you SO MUCH for your patience. I checked the sales floor and couldn’t find [stupid toy], but the computer is telling me that we might have one in the backroom. If you bear with me for another minute here, I can—”

She grumbled that yes, I could check the backroom, but I “better hurry” because she doesn’t have time for this. Smiling gleefully, I put the phone back on hold and proceed to return [stupid toy] to the spot where I found it on the sales floor. I then spend a nice chunk of time helping out ACTUAL customers in the store.

Eventually I remember that BP is still waiting on hold and I return to the phone. “Ma’am, good news… we do have ONE in stock,” I say. BP immediately barks at me to put it on hold, and a devious Grinch-like smile spreads across my face. “I’m so sorry ma’am, but we’re actually unable to put high-demand items on hold at this time. All I can do is confirm that it’s currently available on the sales floor…”

BP unleashes the wrath of a thousand fiery infernos and demands to speak to a manager. I oblige, transferring her to the closing manager (who confirmed the store policy, before promptly being hung up on).

I was pretty pleased with the turn of events, but the cherry on top came a short time later when BP actually shows up at the store, only to discover that the toy had already been purchased by another guest.

THREE: THE SHOE SNATCHER
It was nearly closing time, and I was tasked with “zoning” (or straightening up) the shoe department for the night. It was nearly impossible for me to get anything done, though, because this obnoxious woman kept making me drop everything to help her shop for shoes for her toddler.

The worst part was that the woman didn’t put anything back where she found it. Instead, she just leaves the shoe boxes strewn throughout the aisle (wtf). She finally leaves, and I drag myself over to the massive mess that she’s left behind.

As I’m returning all of the discarded shoe boxes to their rightful locations, I’m popping them open to make sure the correct shoes are inside. When I open one of the boxes, I discover a very sweet sight indeed: a dirty pair of toddler sneakers.

It’s a scam I’ve seen far too many times: someone swaps out a pair of new shoes with their old dirty shoes. Only this time, instead of getting away, I had caught the crook red-handed (or red-footed?)

I tucked the shoebox under my arm and quickly retraced the woman’s steps. Sure enough, I was able to find her in the grocery section. And sure enough, her toddler was sitting in the cart wearing a pair of brand new cartoon character sneakers.

I approached the mom with a giant shit-eating grin on my face and said: “I’m so glad I caught you! You almost left without these!” I held open the box with the dirty sneakers.

The woman had the nerve to pin the blame on her child, playing it off as if her kid had swapped the sneakers. Smh.  

BONUS: HERE’S ONE THAT’S SHORT & SWEET FOR THE ASS CLOWN IN THE COMMENTS WHO COMPLAINED ABOUT THIS BEING TL;DR  

Holiday shit always gets marked down to clearance the day after a holiday and people tend to get a little worked up about it. One time, this guy calls the store the day after Easter and asks how much the white chocolate Cadbury mini eggs had been discounted. I told him they were marked down 30% (the standard first mark down) and he’s not satisfied with that and hangs up. He proceeds to call back EVERY DAMN DAY to ask for the price, and every time he’s rude and weird about it. When they finally get marked down to 50%, I think he’ll bite… but nope. Still not cheap enough.

Finally at 90% he’s interested and asks me, over the phone, to take every single bag off the sales floor and put them on hold for him. I tell him no (goes against store policy to hold clearance), but since the candy is about to be defected (taken out of inventory), the manager tells me to just do it. So I wheel a cart over to the clearance aisle, and that’s when I hatch a plan.

There are two kinds of candy leftover in clearance: white chocolate Cadbury mini eggs, and white chocolate m&ms. For whatever reason, we have about 50 bags of each. Feeling a spirit of pettiness overtake me, I fill the cart with the m&ms and push it to the front with a 24 hour hold ticket. I wasn’t there when the guy showed up the next morning, but I’d imagine he was pretty livid to discover the wrong candy on hold, and then to realize that the actual candy he wanted had been defected out.

traveler--3326  asked:

Hello! I'm not sure how much you know about the 1848-50 California gold rush, but as a native Californian, I've always been fascinated by the topic. My question is multifaceted. For one: how big would miners plots of land along the various rivers be, and would people actually live on the same plots that they mined for gold? Also, what would it be like for a young woman and/or young men and children in an area like this?

Hello there! Well, aren’t you in luck because we have the Archivist from @scriptlibrarian answering this one! The Archivist has also studied history and has got your back so just read on!

There is gold in them darn hills!

Quick history of the California Gold Rush.  In 1848, John Marshal found flecks of gold in the American River, just below the Sierra Nevadas, in Coloma California, while building a water powered sawmill for John Sutter.

Just days after he discovered the gold, the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo was signed, ending the Mexican-American War, giving California to the United States and essentially the gold.

The discovery of Gold shaped California into the state is today.  California saw the largest migration influx in the history of the United States.  In 1848 there was roughly 157,000 people in California (150,000 Natives, 6,500 Spanish/Mexican, 700 American/Non-Native).  Within 20 months the Non-Native Population soared to 100,000 and by the mid 1850’s was past 300,000.  This massive population influx put California on fast track to Statehood, and with the Compromise of 1850 California was allowed into the Union, just two years after the land was acquired, as a Free State - leading a imbalance in Free vs Slave States.  

So now that we got background history established let’s look at your questions.

How big would miner’s plots of land along the various rivers be…

I admit, I dug around for this information and beyond going into deep dark storage and digging out (pun intended) my books from school … the best answer I could find is - depends.

Yeah I hate that also.

A miner would first have to  Staking a Claim, which involves first the discovery of a valuable mineral in quantities that a “prudent man” would invest time and expenses to recover them. Then mark the claim boundaries, with wooden posts, capped steel posts, both of which must be four feet tall, or stone cairns, which must be three feet tall. Then filing a claim with the land management agency (USFS or BLM), and the local county registrar.   

There are four types of Land Claims, a miner could make:

  • Placer (minerals free of the local bedrock, and deposited in benches or streams) - This would be your typical visual of Gold Miners.  Bent over a stream with a pan, looking for flexs or small nuggets of gold. 
  • Lode (minerals in place in the mother rock) - next stage up.  The Miner has a section off shoot of the river, and is breaking up the rocks looking for veins of gold.
  • Tunnel (a location for a proposed tunnel which claims all veins discovered during the driving of it) - This would be someone with enough capital to start mining operation looking for gold, and could hire workers.
  • Millsite (a maximum five acre site for processing ore) - This is a full on organization, that is mining not just gold, but other minerals as well.  Has a team of miners, and likely a full town surrounding it to supplement the miners.

So if your character would need to find the gold, stake out his claim, then register it.  Depending on how much gold found, expense to work the land, and fees for the register - would determine the size of his land claim.

Would your character live in the same spot as they mine?

Yes, they would have a camp with a tent and supplies near by, so they could work their claim dawn to dusk.  They did this for a variety of reasons:

Ease of access to the claim.  The last thing anyone wanted to do was hike in and out of the area, wasting precious time traveling when they could be mining.

Protecting their assets.  If they are away from their claim, someone could sneak in and mine the area, or re stake the claim stating it was abandoned.

Also, what would it be like for a young woman and/or young men and children in an area like this?

The Gold Rush was not really a place for children. It was a brutal work, and a very lonely existence.  Many men left their families behind in hopes of making it rich to bring back the gold to them.   

That doesn’t mean that there wasn’t women in the camps.  

At one point there was a call out to women to go to California, because there was a fear men would do ‘untold’ things without the calm and stable influence of a woman (not many headed the call).

There were wives that worked the claims with their husbands, and likely even a few who took over the claim after he died.  Though this was dangerous as she would be on her own, and had very little rights to the land.  

Most of the women seen in or around the camps were washers, cooks, those seeking out a living for their family.  These women came with their husbands, fathers, brothers and ended up making the money for the family to survive, while the men panned for gold.

By the 1850’s there were roughly 1000 women working in and around the mines, but they were still a small part of the population, and  by the 1860’s they were less than 19% of the population of California.

A good resource to look into the role women played in the Gold Rush would be They Saw the Elephant: Woman in the Gold Rush by JoAnn Levy.

Now as for young men, it would depend on what you mean by young men?  

There were many teenage boys out in the fields, either they came with their father or ran away from home. The Gold Rush was an opportunity to make it rich fast, and men from all walks of life, old and young found their way to California.

Children were less likely in the mines or panning for gold.  If the whole family was in the gold fields, the younger kids would be with mom, helping with cooking, washing, etc.  Older boys maybe 12ish would be with dad.  There are not many accounts, but it didn’t mean they weren’t there.  

William Tecumseh Sherman - the future Civil War General, worked in San Francisco during the Gold Rush as a banker, and had his two young sons with him during the time, while his wife and daughter stayed back East.  Now this was in the city and not the gold fields.  Women, kids and families were very common in San Francisco.

In contrast Ulysses S. Grant was in the Army at the time, stationed in the gold fields and had left his family behind.  This also led to him being discharged from the Army, because of his drinking problem, as he had never done well being away from his wife, Julia.

Irony both men would come together a decade later, a friendship that some say changed the world.  But that is another essay.

Some interesting facts about the Gold Rush that could be helpful.

  • The Gold Rush attracted immigrants from around the world, by 1850 more than 25 percent of California’s population had been born outside the United States. As the amount of available gold began to dwindle, miners increasingly fought one another for profits and anti-immigrant tensions soared. In 1850 California’s legislature passed a Foreign Miner’s tax, which levied a monthly fee of $20 on non-citizens, the equivalent of more than $500 in today’s money. That bill was eventually repealed, but was replaced with another in 1852 that expressly singled out Chinese miners, charging them $2 ($80 today) a month. Violence against foreign miners increased as well, and beatings, rapes and even murders became commonplace. However no ethnic group suffered more than California’s Native Americans. Before the Gold Rush, its native population numbered roughly 300,000. Within 20 years, more than 100,000 would be dead. Most died from disease or mining-related accidents, but more than 4,000 were murdered by enraged miners.
  • Early sections of San Francisco were built out of ships abandoned by prospectors. The Gold Rush conjures up images of thousands of “’49ers” heading west in wagons to strike it rich in California, but many of the first prospectors actually arrived by ship. Within months, San Francisco’s port was teeming with boats that had been abandoned after their passengers, and crew headed inland to hunt for gold. As the formerly tiny town began to boom, demand for lumber increased dramatically, and the ships were dismantled and sold as construction material. Hundreds of houses, banks, saloons, hotels, jails and other structures were built out of the abandoned ships, while others were used as landfill. Today, more than 150 years after the Gold Rush began, archeologists and preservations continue to find relics, sometimes even entire ships, beneath the streets of the City by the Bay.  Map of where ships can be found in San Francisco
  • Mining wasn’t cheap! Most of the men who flocked to northern California arrived with little more than the clothes on their backs. Once there, they needed to buy food and supplies, which San Francisco’s merchants were all too willing to provide for a cost. Stuck in a remote region, far from home, many prospectors coughed up most of their hard-earned money for the most basic supplies. At the height of the boom in 1849, prospectors could expect prices sure to cause sticker shock: A single egg could cost the equivalent of $25 in today’s money, coffee went for more than $100 per pound and replacing a pair of worn out boots could set you back more than $2,500.
  • The merchant’s made the money not the miners.  As the boom continued, more and more men got out of the gold-hunting business and began to open businesses catering to newly arrived prospectors. In fact, some of America’s greatest industrialists got their start in the Gold Rush. Philip Armour, who would later found a meatpacking empire in Chicago, made a fortune operating the sluices that controlled the flow of water into the rivers being mined. Before John Studebaker built one of America’s great automobile fortunes, he manufactured wheelbarrows for Gold Rush miners. And two entrepreneurial bankers named Henry Wells and William Fargo moved west to open an office in San Francisco, an enterprise that soon grew to become one of America’s premier banking institutions. One of the biggest mercantile success stories was that of Levi Strauss. A German-born tailor, Strauss arrived in San Francisco in 1850 with plans to open a store selling canvas tarps and wagon coverings to the miners. After hearing that sturdy work pants, ones that could withstand the punishing 16-hour days regularly put in by miners, were more in demand, he shifted gears, opening a store in downtown San Francisco that would eventually become a manufacturing empire, producing Levi’s denim jeans.
  • And to prove how fate is fickle - the man who’s name will always be associated with the California Gold Rush - John Sutter - died in poverty.  As news had spread about the discovery of gold on his property, within months, most of his workers had abandoned him to search for gold themselves, while thousands of other prospectors overran and destroyed much of his land and equipment. Faced with mounting debts, Sutter was forced to deed his land to one of his sons, who used it to create a new settlement called Sacramento. Sutter Sr. was furious—he had hoped the town would be named after him—but he had more pressing concerns. Nearly bankrupt, he began a decades-long campaign to have the U.S. government reimburse him for his financial losses, to no avail. While thousands became rich off his former land, a bitter Sutter retired to Pennsylvania and died.

I hope this information is helpful, and will give you some insight of the world during the California Gold Rush.

Some great sources to check out:

Women in the Gold Rush

Summary of Gold Mining Techniques

Articles on the Gold Rush

History Channel’s Gold Rush

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #185 - The Princess Diaries

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: I think so.

Do I remember it: I remember that it exists and that I saw it.

Did I see it in theaters: No

Format: Blu-ray

This film was nominated by @princessofsunnydale for my first Epic Movie (Re)Watch poll, so it only feels right that I should dedicate it to her.

1) I have not watched this film in AT LEAST 10 years. It’s probably closer to 12 or 13 (although I do remember the soundtrack well because I own it). So in a lot of ways this like a first viewing.

2) There’s a nice sense of place which is immediately established around Mia’s home. It helps establish the character of both her and her mother with their eccentricities and charm.

3) Wait? This was produced by Whitney Houston? Huh.

4) Sandra Oh is in this?

Originally posted by animations-daily

Wow, the things you don’t notice as a child.

5) This is very telling of Mia’s experience at high school.

Mia: “Someone sat on me again.”

6) Anne Hathaway as Mia.

Originally posted by thinkingg-out-louud

Immediately Hathaway is able to show off and incredible honesty when portraying Mia. You see her shyness and clumsiness wonderfully. But she’s not JUST the stereotypical of an awkward teenage girl. You see where Mia is comfortable, where she’s not, and that’s nice. Hathaway plays all facets of Mia’s personality wonderfully well, bringing a wonderful inquisitiveness and hart to what is the strong base of the film.

7) Ugh, this crap.

Queen Clarisse [upon seeing Mia for the first time]: “You look so [pause as she tries to find a compliment for her appearance] young.”

The trope of, “girl who is not traditionally beautiful absolutely NEEDS a makeover so her outer beauty matches her inner beauty,” can die a horrible and painful death. What the heck is wrong with Mia? She wars glasses, she has big hair, and eyebrows which are compared to Brooke Burke’s. What the heck is wrong with Brooke Burke? I’m tired of films making it seem like this isn’t attractive. I think Mia is GORGEOUS even before her transformation.

8) If this line isn’t iconic for my generation I don’t know what is.

(GIFs originally posted by @animations-daily​)

9) I like that Mia loses her shit instead of being like, “Oh, I’m a princess! My life is a fairytale!” She realizes the real world implications of this and the pressure it puts on her.

Mia: “Just in case I’m not enough of a freak already, let’s add a tiara!”

10) According to IMDb:

Mia’s cat, Fat Louie, was Anne Hathaway’s pet in real-life. Four different cats played the role. One who allowed people to carry it, one who could sit still, another who would jump, and the last one, who sits on the envelope at the end of the movie.

11) Julie Andrews as Queen Clarisse.

Originally posted by lejazzhot

Julie Andrews is a legend of cinema and brings the same kind of focus to her role as Queen Clarisse as she would to Mary Poppins. Clarisse is good at being a formal stuck in the mud while also being warm and sympathetic. You can see her heart, the empathy she has, and it is not that much of a stretch for her relationship with Mia to grow into another strong fundamental of this movie. It’s a stand out performance in the film and a nice addition to the veteran actresses’ resumé.

12) Um…what!?

Queen Clarisse: “You have a cousin who’s a Contessa. Formerly known as Bartholomew. Actually we call him Pookie.”

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

I had to google this to make sure a Contessa is always a woman and they are. And this might not be a big deal NOW but I am pleasantly surprised to see that they referenced the fact Mia has a transgender cousin in a 2001 Disney film (even if there was a pronoun slip).

13) Hector Elizondo as Joe.

Originally posted by kpfun

Elizondo is director Garry Marshall’s lucky charm and features in nearly all of the director’s films. He’s pretty amazing in this, able to play Joe as someone who is intimidating and professional but WILDLY sympathetic to Mia. You can tell he cares for her and Queen Clarisse deeply even if he’s not showing it in the most massive of ways. It’s quiet but deep and at times very moving. Also he’s a badass.

Lily: “You know you look like Shaft?”

Joe: “Yes.”

14) This is an interesting visual I wish had been explored a bit more. Why is this guy so obsessed with M&M’s?

Originally posted by emmaduerrewatson

15) If I haven’t said it before, Mia is pretty cool. She knows cars, art, has a wonderful sense of humor, is a rock climber, and just a wonderfully well rounded/full breathing character.

16) One of the most underrated small characters in this film is Mia’s gym teacher.

Mia [playing soccer]: “I can’t do this, I’m a girl.”

Gym Teacher Harbula: “What am I, a duck!?”

17) I have a fundamental philosophical issue with putting such emphasis on being “proper” and all that crap. Who determines what is “proper” and why is looking a certain way, standing a certain way, and sitting a certain way so much more important than treating people well? I hate that.

18) The relationship Joe has with Clarisse is VERY nice, but according to IMDb:

The on-screen relationship between Queen Clarisse Renaldi (Julie Andrews) and Joseph (Hector Elizondo) was not scripted. The dance scene, and the underlying affection was added by the two. According to Hector Elizondo, “We felt that a romance after fifty was important to tell, and it can be sensual and sexy while keeping your clothes on.”

Originally posted by marilynwhitmore

19) Larry Miller as Paolo.

Originally posted by emmaduerrewatson

Miller is another frequent collaborator with director Garry Marshall and an incredible character actor, stealing the entire film with his scene as Paolo. Committed absolutely to his character, Miller has a lot of fun in an absolutely hysterical role. I don’t remember most of the fine details of this film but I remember Paolo.

20) The makeover scene - while key and possibly iconic to a lot of people - ties into what I talked about in note #7.

Paolo: “You will be beautiful!”

She already IS beautiful you jerk! Why are glasses ugly? Why is her bushy hair ugly? And of course, this crap!

Queen Clarisse [after Mia’s makeover]: “Better, much better.”

NO! NOT BETTER! DIFFERENT! NOT WORSE, BUT WHY IS THIS BETTER!? IT’S JUST DIFFERENT!

Originally posted by reginaphalangephalange

21) Similarly, Lily giving Mia crap for her new look is really crummy behavior from a best friend.

Lily: “Oi. Who destroyed you.”

Lily is a fundamentally bad friend in these moments. She shouldn’t judge Mia for her makeover anymore than Queen Clarisse should judge Mia for her pre-makeover look. Basically: don’t judge people for their appearance, whether they meet traditional standards of beauty or not. Let them look however the heck they want to look.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

22) I love this line.

Originally posted by olivierassayas

23) One thing I love in films is when they embrace the visual medium. We see Mia talking to Lily, we don’t hear what she says, but we KNOW. We don’t need to hear. The message is: Lily knows everything the audience does now and she’s excited!

24) I kinda get high school bullies, but also not really. Is your self esteem so low that you really need to consistently make other people miserable/get them in trouble to feel better about yourself? For example: why does Mandy Moore so passionately call Mia out for wearing a hat JUST to get her in trouble. Mia is not hurting anyone and if the teacher cared enough he’d have already asked her not to wear it. It’s just stupid.

25) The biggest problem with this film I would say is the pacing. There are a number of scenes - specifically, princess lesson scenes - which are fun but don’t add to any of the characters or plot. They’re a little self indulgent. HOWEVER, they are also the most memorable scenes in the movie so cutting them would be a mistake. So I’m not sure what to say, actually. I’m just going to move on.

26) Wow. These films are so gay (not in a derogatory sense but in an actual homosexual sense).

Paolo [after the press learns Mia is a princess]: “I outed you! So to speak. I don’t mean to imply -”

FYI: I’d be so okay if Mia were gay or bi or anything. I need more representation in my life.

27) Things you don’t pick up on as a child.

Teacher Over PA: “Will the feng shui club please stop rearranging the tables on the front lawn?”

28) This was NOT scripted but instead a mistake made by Anne Hathaway that she rolled with.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

29) Man, Joe just has a ton of great advice.

Joe [after Mia asks if she should quite being a princess]: “No one can really quite being who they are.”

30) According to IMDb:

When Mia accidentally sets the man’s arm on fire, the flames were supposed to go out when he puts his arm in the ice bucket, but they didn’t. Anne Hathaway panicked and threw the glass of water on it, which was not scripted.

Originally posted by filmlady

31) Okay, throughout this film and its sequel I find that I am constantly impressed with how supportive the Prime Minister of Genovia is of Mia.

Prime Minister’s Wife [after Mia eats too much of the frozen cream]: “She didn’t realize it was frozen!”

Prime Minister: “Well what should we do?”

Prime Minister’s Wife: “We should do the same!”

[The eat as much frozen cream as Mia and begin to imitate her.]

32) The day out Mia and Clarisse have together is loads of fun. It really shows the development of their relationship and just how deep a connection they have. How Clarisse is able to forget being proper now and then because Mia comes first as her granddaughter. It’s a truly wonderful sequence.

33) Also, major props to the amount of BS-ing Clarisse pulled to get Mia out of trouble with the police. SHE MAKES UP A KNIGHTHOOD ON THE SPOT AND THEY’RE SO FLATTERED THEY LET MIA BE!!! I love that.

34) Oh Mia…

Josh: “I hate phony publicity seekers.”

Don’t fall for that Mia! The guy didn’t even pay attention to Mia before she was a princess and now he’s all over her. Mia’s mom even observes that he was never nice to her! And I know this is a film and this creates conflict, but ugh it just hurts.

35) I DO remember the foot pop! It’s like the thing I remember the most!

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

36) Okay, let’s recap. Mia goes to the beach with a guy who she thinks likes her. Mia is used by the guy to get famous. Mia is harassed and stalked by paparazzi. Mia tries to take shelter in a changing booth. Mandy Moore exposes Mia’s naked body to the paparazzi who again further harass her. AND MIA IS THE ONE IN TROUBLE!?!??!?!?!?!?!

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

The only thing she did wrong was not tell Lily she wouldn’t be on the show. She even told Lily’s brother to make sure she didn’t just ditch him! But no, it’s, “I’m giving up the crown because I messed up.” Forget that!

37) God bless Joe.

Clarisse [about Mia’s being manipulated]: “Why didn’t she have enough common sense to deal with this?”

Joe: “She’s only fifteen.”

38) I just realized how I have yet to talk about how awesome Heather Matarazzo is in this film.

Originally posted by mariotheking-blog

She plays Mia’s best friend Lily with wonderful enthusiasm, stealing a number of great scenes from the film. She’s funny, able to show her vulnerability, makes her honest, and has a wonderful chemistry/relationship with Hathaway/Mia. It’s just another part of what makes the film fun.

39) I really appreciate that Michael is not Nice Guy™. He doesn’t whine about “the friend zone” and he doesn’t go out of his way to make Mia feel guilty for not liking him back. He’s a bit of a tool when she asks him out but he’s hurt in that moment and doesn’t necessarily want to open himself back up. He could go on and on about how he’s always been there for her and Mia’s given him nothing or some bullshit like that. I like it.

40) Get wrecked, Mandy Moore’s character (I don’t remember her name)!

Originally posted by stydixa

(GIF originally posted by @stydixa)

41) It took me until almost the end to finally put to words that this film isn’t about Mia being pretty or even about her being a princess. It’s about her gaining some agency in her life, a little confidence, and actually taking control of things. That’s WAY more interesting than, “Oh, you were born a princess. Let’s do only princessy things from now on!”

42) Wow, I did not expect something this deep in The Princess Diaries.

Mia’s Father [via letter]: “Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something is more important than fear.”

43) Mia showing up as she does to the ball removes the support of “proper” appearance. She is a mess right now, all she has is her words and her decision to convince these people she should be queen. And she rocks it.

Originally posted by invisiblechange

44) Honestly I’m more invested in Joe & Clarisse’s relationship than Mia & Michael’s, but at least she got her foot pop.

Originally posted by esoporquesi


The Princess Diaries held up much better than I was expecting. Hathaway is pretty freaking great, as is Julie Andrews, and the film just has this incredible beating heart and message of confidence to it. Sure, it falls victim to some tropes of the genre (the makeover stuff will forever bother me in all movies), but it transcends others (Mia’s boyfriend at the end is not a Nice Guy™). If you don’t have a taste for film’s which wear their hearts on their sleeves, then maybe you should avoid this. But the rest of you? You may find that you like it more than you first expected to.

“Well, howdy y’all,” McCree drawled to everyone, “Welcome back to another installment of our little monster hunter fun.”

This time, instead of going back to their usual DnD adventures, the group was once again playing their monster hunter adventure again. The main reason was that most of their group was missing because Athena was still on lock down and various operatives were still doing their own things to keep their sanity.

The group for this adventure was Angela, Genji, Zenyatta, Hanzo, Gabriel and then Jack with McCree as the DM.

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Uta and The Clowns

As requested by a lovely and curious anon.

Being a clown is a juggling act, unless you are part of one of Japan’s strongest ghoul groups; Pierrot. The amazingly strong ghouls in this group are interesting beyond compare, each character being so enigmatic. After researching for hours, I’ve compiled all you need to know about the Clowns.

PIERROT 

Pierrot is a character from way back when Pantomime began, and many other characters were made to accompany him (Columbina, Harlequin, Arlecchino, etc). Some characters have similarities to those of the clowns (eg. Columbina and Itori both being very intelligent and rarely wearing masks), though, due to inconsistencies in this theory (eg. Columbina cheating on Pierrot with Harlequin), I’ve scrapped it and labelled it as a coincidence. If it interests you or you can prove me wrong, feel free to, although after an hour of searching for even one tiny parallel you’ll probably give up as I did.

MEMBERS OF THE CLOWNS

UTA
Uta is by far the most developed and one of the more present clowns in the series. He is very artistic, as is made obvious by his great mask design and construction. If you didn’t know, Uta’s name in Japanese (うた) means “song”. As a more peaceful ghoul, perhaps due to being witness to chaotic ghoul behaviour in other wards, he enjoys having humans around and even exhibits a visual liking to human food due to its colours and arrangement. He is seen wearing zebra-stripe patterned clothing (recently at the Auction, as an example). This is particularly interesting to me, as not only do zebras symbolise traits that are relevant to the mask-making ghoul (free, social, strong, playful, friendly, adaptable, determined), but it is also said that zebras can tell each-other apart from their stripes as they all have different patterns, although humans would never be able to tell one from another. This information ties in interestingly with his alias “No Face” from human investigators who always identify him, even through many physical appearance changes. Zebras also find strength in numbers, which could be the reason that when fighting alongside other clowns (Auction) he displays great ability. Uta is associated with the tarot card number 19 (the Sun - Upright: Fun, warmth, success, positivity, vitality/Reversed: Temporary depression, lack of success). In the Tokyo Ghoul Trump deck, Uta is featured as eight of diamonds. It is said that Eight of Diamonds people are the embodiment of the creative principal (the Sun), have the ability to overcome all their obstacles and win against all enemies, serve others honestly and faithfully (usually at their expense) and be powerful. Also, we must take note that Uta, despite being a clown, does not wear a clown mask (and never has). Interesting.

ITORI
Itori is the well-informed owner of the Helter Skelter bar. This gossipy young woman is usually a very talkative, sociable blood-wine drinker; however a hidden darker and slightly sadistic side is observable in some occasions. Her mask is very interesting, a large sharp toothed grin atop a long sharp chin, with a spade and heart (with three white dots) near the eye/temple area. It can also be assumed there is a club on the other side, however hard to see it may be. Spades symbolise fall, winter and the power of darkness. In Tarot perspective, they symbolize intellect, action, air, and death. Hearts, on the other hand, represent the warmth of spring and summer seasons and the power of light. In Tarot, hearts may also symbolize knowledge, love, life from water, and fertility, and in fortune-telling, joy.  The Eight of Clubs, Itori’s trump card, is one of three ‘fixed’ cards of the symbolic deck that never change its birthplace. They also have very close association with King of Spades and Jack of Hearts. Eight of Clubs are allied with wisdom and the power of love and sacrifice. 

NICO
Nico is without a doubt a very flamboyant and sly character. He is portrayed as the derogative Japanese “onee” trope of very feminine homosexual men. He should not be underestimated, as he skilfully obtained information from Jason (and the Aogiri in general) about the One-Eyed King, even going so far to claim they know the their identity. Nico’s trump is the Eight of Hearts. People of this card feel the need to control and dominate and in areas of love and relationships Eight’s of Heart find their power; this need for power and control can also bring out the worst in them. It should also be known that Eight of Hearts who apply themselves do very well in large organizations.

ROMA
Roma’s (somewhat loveable) clumsy and absent-minded behaviour made her a memorable character in the Tokyo Ghoul series. Fast-forward to her being with the clowns, and her description of Kaneki as “beautiful” in his depressive state reveals her to have a much more sinister side! Roma is featured on the Eight of Spades in the Tokyo Ghoul Trump deck, symbolizing ambitious power as a priority over relationships, adventurousness and self-expression.

SOUTA
Due to a lot of mystery around Souta, I’ve decided to leave him last. Souta, as revealed by a flashback of Kaneki’s, reveals him to have played a role in the capture of Rize. He is very manipulative, even having lured a young woman named Ami into the Gourmet restaurant after having promised to marry her. He’s a character that has a general lack of information when compared to other characters, some even suggesting he may be Hide in disguise (which I definitely do not agree with). He appears to have a ‘G’ around one of the eyes on his mask. This may represent the symbolic meanings of the letter G (purpose, order, imagination, instinct, intuition and acting conventional). His alias, PG, has not been explained either. Unlike other characters, he has never taken off his mask and he lacks a lot of dialogue. Souta’s trump is the Five of Hearts, which represents a creative, intelligent and entertaining person with a lot of ideas. Actually, about that…

Souta’s Number Five:
A recurring theme is seen in all but one of the Clowns’ trump cards; the number 8. Souta is the only member with a different number for his trump card, which is 5.
According to numerology, five is the number of human beings. The number five symbolizes the four limbs and the head that controls the limbs and also the five senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch). Number 8, the number for the rest of the members, symbolises harmony, balance, the ability to make decisions, abundance and power.
There is more mystery surrounding Souta than we originally thought. It is also unusual for a ghoul to even remotely associate with Kanou without being either his assistant or an experiment. Combined with the fact that 5 is the number of the human being, this indicates a possibility that Souta is an artificial one-eyed ghoul, perhaps Kanou’s very first experiment. It’s all speculation, but this could also explain why he was holding up two fingers after letting the steel beams fall onto Rize, Kaneki would be the second try at the process. Why else would a clown help out Dr. Kanou?

PREDICTIONS
In Tokyo Ghoul, many key events were the result of the Clowns’ actions. Examples of times the Clowns have played a role in turning points in the story include the steel beams falling on Rize, prompting Kaneki to search for the Ghoul Restaurant (along with Tsukiyama), Kaneki’s capture and the search for Kanou’s lab. In :re, however, the Clowns haven’t appeared as active in scheming, apart from Roma and Nico spotting the Quinx at the nightclub and attending/fighting at the Auction. It seems as though the clowns, although once rising to power, have been far more inactive than usual. However, this may be a repeat of the first series, where they are involved much more than is shown. I doubt they’ll be gone for too long, and will make at least one more (if not many) appearances throughout the story, Kaneki will most likely make contact with them for whatever reason he may (most likely for information). I have no leads to go on other than the importance of their group in terms of power and status and their determination at the end of the last manga to continue pursuing “have more fun” and to “have the last laugh”.

CONCLUSION
After analysing these characters, it becomes apparent that all of them have unique functions that make the group a sturdy whole. This, however, does not apply much to Souta, an oddly absent and distinct from the others. All of the eights in the Tokyo Ghoul Trump belong to the Clowns, however all fives are characters that are very set apart from others in the story (Maris Stella, for example). I suspect he will have a big role to play in the upcoming story (not like he doesn’t already). The Clowns aren’t joking around.

If I left something out, you have a question, anything to add or you want me to write about something that you’re interested in, ask away.

The best films of 2014

So before I get into this list I just wanted to say that yes, I saw The Interview and it was not that funny. The movie is nowhere near Team America levels of getting angry at at all. If True Detective was a movie, I’d without a doubt have that as best of the year bar none. Two films I debated that should be included were American Sniper and Unbroken, but the more I thought, the more these films went further and further into the enjoyed camp rather than great.  I also want to thank you the reader for making my best of 2013 so popular. It’s cause of you guys I keep this going when I can. Now with that out of the way let’s get on with this list beloveds.

36. Calvary - John Michael McDonagh’s second film is not as strong as his first, The Guard, but this dark drama has a priest staying resilient while facing a tough choice in town that doesn’t want him.

35. Obvious Child – At first, the protagonist started off much like many women I know in Brooklyn. Whimsical, flakey, flighty and aloof. But halfway through the movie she realizes she’s fucked up and tries to fix that without changing herself. Smart, funny, mature, delightful all describe this very simple rom-com about a struggling comedienne who has to face the consequences of a one night stand. This was a perfect vehicle for Jenny Slate.

34. Only Lovers Left Alive – What’s crazy is Jimmy said he had written action scenes into this film. When it was requested that he do more he cut them all out making the film as sparse as possible. The film is really hypnotic and the scenes of Adam driving Eve around a hallowed out Detroit were a nice bit of social commentary.  Also, Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton have amazing chemistry that without it, this film would not work at all. The vampire shit comes second to these two character’s relationship to each other.

33. The Signal – A film most didn’t like, but I thoroughly enjoyed. William Eubank’s sci-fi Twilight Zone tinged indie really stood out a something special to me. From Eubank himself all the way down to the three leads, I can’t wait to see what everyone does next as there is a lot of special talent in this film.

32. Ida – This Polish film really took me by surprise. I’m not gonna say much about. It’s streaming on Netflix right now.

31. Under the Skin – You gotta have patience with this film. A movie about an alien finding humanity within herself while on a mission to collect skin from men through seduction. The movie is beautiful to look at, unsettling in its score and has a lot of unexpected nudity. I did the Birdman hand rub near the end of the film. Scarlett what up ma?!

30. Locke – I know a lot of people didn’t like this film, but this to me was a great film about a man accepting responsibility for his actions. And like most men Ivan Locke let his dick do the thinking for him and watching the fallout of the consequences of his action really made me admire the film as we get to know that he is truly a good man who made a flawed decision. This is a cinematic play as we ride with Ivan and watch him try to make amends all done by a great performance by Tom Hardy.

29. A Most Wanted Man – John le Carre’s novel is adapted to make a very tight and involving espionage thriller. Philip Seymour Hoffman leads an all-star cast that’s firing on all cylinders under the tight direction of Anton Corbijn.

28. Foxcatcher - Bennet Miller’s best film IMO has three impressive turns from Mark Ruffalo, Steve Carrell and Channing Tatum. This true story is dark look at loneliness and psychosis and the effect of being wanted.

27. The Guest - Adam Winguard did this awesome, fun 80s throwback thriller that’s a slow burn which leads to a bat shit insane last 20 minutes. The John Carpenter-esque score helps set the mood in this film with a very strong lead performance by Dan Stevens as the titular guest.

 

26. John Wick – I’m gonna be honest with you I did not expect much from this. Keanu is in full movie star mode here. Everything else I have to say about this can be found here: http://straightouttatrenton.tumblr.com/post/100173022000/john-wick-a-fun-entertaining-ride

25. Chef – A very simple and entertaining film of a man rediscovering what he loves doing and reconnecting with his son in the process. And the soundtrack to this film is top notch. It was good to see Jon Faveru return to his indie roots.

24. Two Days, One Night – Seeing as I’ve lost a job a multiple number of times due to the company not being able to pay me anymore and watching many, many people suffer through the recession after working 40 years at a said job, this really hit home for me. Marion Cotillard gave a very realistic performance as Sandra, a woman breaking down slowly, as her and her husband try to make sure her job is secure. The Dardenne brothers once again work their magic and bring us another natural realistic film that left me thinking afterwards.

23. Boyhood – I was less enthralled with the movie as a whole, but what kept this going for me were Ethan Hawke and Patricia Arquette. I thought their characters were very honest and real. And the fact Linklater managed to make a cohesive film over 12 years impressed me. Just for that in my opinion he should win Best Director.

22. The Notebook (Le Grand Cahier) – This Hungarian film about twin boys sent during WWII to live with their abusive grandmother is harsh, but also very human. Tense from beginning to end, these two boys learn to harden themselves from the evil that surrounds them leading to a heartbreaking but hopeful ending.

21. How to Train Your Dragon 2 – Everything I have to say is about it is here: http://straightouttatrenton.tumblr.com/post/86033752605/how-to-train-your-dragon-2-a-well-made-sequel

20. The Drop – A very, very good crime drama that’s more of a character study with great turns from Tom Hardy, James Gandolfini and Noomi Rapace, Michaël R. Roskam constructs this film with nuance which grabbed me.

19. A Most Violent Year – This is essentially a crime drama about a guy trying to get a loan and legitimize himself. A gangster film about a guy trying not to be a gangster, it’s set during the winter of the most violent year in New York City, the subtext of this film had a lot to say in this film which is violent in tone.

18. Edge of Tomorrow – A fun sci-fi romp that puts Tom Cruise back in full movie star mode. Warner Brothers really dropped the ball with this film on everything. My full thoughts here: http://straightouttatrenton.tumblr.com/post/86493673130/edge-of-tomorrow-surprisingly-really

17. The Lego Movie – Never would I have thought a song about conformity would be so catchy. Also, I would never think a movie having this much fun with itself would have a positive individualism message. Very self-aware (which doesn’t overkill it like 22 Jump Street), this was perfect for both adults and kids a like. I’m really skeptical on the sequel(s), but without a doubt this hit all the sweet spots.

16. Birdman – Didn’t enjoy this as much as others, but still really like this. Everyone has been raving about this or that, but to me what really made this was Michael Keaton’s arc in this. Watching him unravel was something to behold in this film, even if the drum score got really overpowering at points.

15. Beyond the Lights – Here’s an old school honest romance film that’s rarely made any more because it’s not cloying. Everything about this film felt real, and what’s better is in addition to the romantic drama was the scathing indictment of the music industry and how they treat their female stars. That’s a lot of it. It’s got more complexity than you may expect from the ads. Plus Gugu Mbatha-Raw is absolutely gorgeous. Cotdamn…

14. Jodorowsky’s Dune  – The most epic movie never made I know that without a doubt would’ve been THE sci-fi movie. I mean a lot of films have taken their designs from this film. This touching tribute asks what if and pulls you in. It sounded batshit crazy in the best way possible as are all of Jodorowsky’s films. Speaking of…

13. The Dance of Reality – Jodorowsky’s first film in 23 years is classic in that surreal Jodorowsky way. A movie that has to be experienced just like El Topo and The Holy Mountain. The one scene that made me uncomfortable (in a movie full of ‘em) is the “negro scene” at night. That was easily one of the most bizarre scenes I’ve ever seen put on film.

12. Citizenfour – This movie is enthralling and will leave you breathless. As far as I’m concerned, Edward Snowden should be canonized for sainthood. He changed the game on privacy b. This is not a documentary, but a thriller. I was afraid for him, but his main concern was his family. Glenn Greenwald, Laura Poitras and Snowden are heroes. Do a double feature with Captain America: The Winter Soldier and marinate long and hard on “freedom”. My only problem is that after multiple revelations in the film, it just stops. We need more even though this is still ongoing. Laura please, please continue this.

11. Enemy – 2014 saw 3 films about doppelgängers drop. The One I Love and one based off of the novella The Double by Fyodor Dostoyevsky with the same name, and this film based off of the novel The Double by José Saramago. This very loose adaptation is really open to your interpretation due to the ambiguity of the picture. There’s enough given here to suggest many things with everything being important. Yes, the lectures given on totalitarian states matter. The last scene of the film is easily one of the scariest things I’ve seen all year. I have no clue what it means, but I do feel a satisfying catharsis with it. The subtext and syntax of the film is pretty dense as well. Movies that rely on what you think more times than not fail, but this fever dream of a movie is a big exception because it stays with me from the menacing, unsettling score to even the very strange way Jake Gyllenhaal’s colleague recommends a film to him. I actually appreciate Denis Villeneuve’s trust in the audience to form their own film. Between this and Prisoners last year, he’s a director to watch.

10. Interstellar / Gone Girl  - Two of my favorite filmmakers made films that polarized the shit out of audiences.

With Interstellar, Nolan made a throwback to the big budget sci-fi movies that Hollywood used to put out back in the 60s and 70s with a touch of Spielberg and a dash of Kubrick. Loved that the science was 95% accurate and that the journey itself was the antagonist (along with one character and you can argue for another).  Watching this for the first time made me miss my godkids halfway through. Add to that this has one of my favorite “action” scenes of the year where Matty McC pulls off some daredevil piloting to dock with a spaceship all set to this magnificent score by Hans Zimmer that had me on the edge of my seat:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3zvVGJrTP8 (fast forward to the 2:30 mark). Loved how the spaceship Endurance represented time with its twelve points (Which is shattered during said sequence. Time now being lost on getting home). Speaking of Hans’ score gave off a 2001 vibe that made the movie bigger with its use of pipe organs. If you already saw it on 70MM IMAX you were treated to some beautiful imagery filling up however big your IMAX was. Glad people overseas saved this one as we were too busy here in the United States being enraptured by Big Hero 6 :/. I have no doubt that in time this will be looked backed on fondly.

Gone Girl the movie was more focused on the marriage and how sensationalized the media gets with things like this. Gone Girl the book was more about the mystery of Amy’s disappearance. I appreciate Fincher’s take and love it just as much as I love the book. Rosamund Pike absolutely brings Amy to life in my favorite performance by a lead this year. She looked like a movie star from yesteryear bringing her A game to a great character. Also, Trent Reznor crafted another memorable score that fits the film perfectly. The ending remained the same as the book having the same reaction from the public and destroying relationships in the process. Just like the book, this takes a hard look at marriage and how we lie to not only each other, but ourselves as well. As Gillian Flynn states: “marriage is sort of like a long con, because you put on display your very best self during courtship, yet at the same time the person you marry is supposed to love you warts and all. But your spouse never sees those warts really until you get deeper into the marriage and let yourself unwind a bit.”.  This left me with the sentiment, just like the film and its source material, that even though you may think you know someone but you never truly don’t.

9. Inherent Vice – This is a film that demands to be seen twice, first time for the journey, second time for the plot. The fact that others, and not just me, are coming out of this the first time fulfilled and with buzz, shows that this movie works. This is destined to become a cult classic that will be appreciated as time goes on. Described as a drugged out surf noir, I would say it’s that and much more. PTA made something I think about often. Any movie that has Minnie Ripperton on the soundtrack gets high marks from me anyways. I pray that I get catch a 70MM print of this film.

8. Guardians of the Galaxy – Marvel Studios was on fire in 2014. They packed a one two punch with something heavy and something fun. The fact that exists in the same universe as The Winter Soldier and we all buy it is a testament of how they know to hit the sweet spots. Never would I think that a talking raccoon and a tree that says “I am Groot” would be two characters I would connect to emotionally.

7. Captain America: The Winter Soldier – As I stated earlier do a double feature with Citizenfour. Full thoughts here: http://straightouttatrenton.tumblr.com/post/80244871941/captain-america-the-winter-soldier-a

6. Starred Up – This British prison drama is a powerhouse. I really don’t want to say much other than Jack O’Connell will be a star. But yeah, this one is gonna stay with you long after the end credits roll.

5. Snowpiercer – Everything I have to say can be found here: http://straightouttatrenton.tumblr.com/post/90179663320/snowpiercer-a-masterfully-done-sci-fi-action

4. Selma – First I just wanna say that David Oyelowo is long overdue on just in general props. The same with director Ava DuVernay. Never has a film about a dark time in our history has been more relevant to the current times as this. Proving really that “Time is a flat circle” (True Detective reference for the few knuckleheads out there) and sadly a deep seated racism in this country has resurfaced. The film also manages to show MLK the man, instead of MLK the saint and I greatly appreciate that.

3. Top Five – Chris Rock made a Woody Allen film for black people and I greatly appreciate that. I also appreciate that this is still uncensored, raw Chris Rock. The thing that kept this together is the film’s heart. Not only does this have a love story on full display, it also shows the studio system and the public at large expectations when it comes to certain actors and comedians who don’t owe us anything, but we demand it.

2. Nightcrawler – Part noir thiller, part satire on the media we follow a successful sociopath in very original film that is deftly written and directed by Dan Gilroy. Photographed by Robert Elswit, Jake Gyllenhaal breathes life into the best performance he’s give yet with sociopath Lou Bloom. He’s one of the smartest characters I’ve seen in a long time knowing how to work any situation to his advantage. The moral corruption exists in every character here. And before you say Rick was innocent he’s not. He manipulated Lou’s forced illegal activity as leverage instead of doing the right thing. This movie has a lot to say and holds a mirror up to us as a society as whole. America eats its babies and just like Gone Girl evil comes in many forms.

1. Whiplash – We all aspire to be the best. But at what cost? The expectations I had for this film were high and then blown away. My boy was right about this when he was at the premiere at Sundance. This is a horror film masquerading as a drama. Director Damien Chazelle shoots the film as a horror film ensuing tension from opening frame to closing frame. Again, this is another film where the tone of the film is violent.  And J.K. Simmons breathes life into one of the scariest characters portrayed on film all year. The drumming scenes in this film are better than most action films today.  The last fifteen minutes are some of the most exhilarating, breathless I’ve seen all year. Watching the character dynamics constantly shift between the two main characters is something to behold. It’s like watching a seesaw go up and violently. By the time the credits rolled I felt as if I was suffering from the title. The second time I saw this I sympathized with Fletcher more even if his methods are ones that are hallmarks of a psychopath. If fact, Terrence Fletcher reminds me a lot of how my dad still treats me. Emotionally and physically abusive, manipulative and thinking he’s hot shit. Maybe it’s why I liked this movie so much. And maybe why my heart’s so cold.

As Sean Price says “Aight. We fucking finished”. See y’all in 2015. What was your favorite film of 2014?

Girl Meets Screen Time - First Date

Welcome back to Girl Meets Screen Time! Sorry for the mini hiatus! I had a lot of school work I had to get through as well as so personal things going on these last two weeks, but I should be back now. This post will be discussing the screen times of the core four in the final episode of season one, Girl Meets First Date. It will also include the final total for the season. If you missed the last post about Girl Meets Farkle’s Choice, and wish to check it out, here is a link: http://bookmovietvworm.tumblr.com/post/149736670833/girl-meets-screen-time-farkles-choice

I will be adding the parameters to every post of this series so newcomers will know how I obtained my statistics.

*Please Note: I am human so the numbers might be off by a few seconds, but I tried my best to be as accurate as possible. I have decide to focus only on the core four for the time being. I will add Smackle and Zay to the total by popular demand, so if you would like me to add them, please let me know.*                                                    

Here are my parameters for the experiment:

  • Time is based on when a character is in frame, regardless of whether or not they have dialogue.
  • They have to be recognizable enough that the audience knows who they are.
  • The only exception to the first parameter is if a character has dialogue over the shot and they are not in it.
  • Obviously the theme song appearances DO NOT count towards the total.

The statistics and random observations about the 20th episode, Girl Meets First Date, as well as series totals, below the cut.

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