so mustaches

Cinco de Mayo is about to start, so let's make some things clear:

Hello there! Diego here! (That… that’s seriously my name.) As some of you may know, I am of Mexican origin, and I would like to make a few things clear about May 5th you may or may not be aware about.

1. Cinco de Mayo is NOT the date of the Independence of Mexico.

That’s right! Mexico celebrates its independence in September 16th, or more likely, the night of September 15th, when traditionally they make the traditional Grito de Independencia by midnight, which is a reenactment of the legend of the night revolutionary priest Miguel Hidalgo y Costilla called mass in 1810 for the people to rebel against the Spanish government.

“Cinco de Mayo” also known as “La Batalla de Puebla” (The Battle of Puebla) is a commemoration of a victory in the battle against French invaders that arrived from the port of the state of Veracruz. Albeit not a strategically decisive battle on the war, it is important on national pride as a moment in which a tiny new country without virtually any funds by the time of 1860s defeated such a super powerful army which were the French.

2. “Sombreros”.

Ah yes.

The “sombrero”.

Just to put it straight: Sombrero just means “hat” in Spanish; at least Mexican Spanish. We tend to call sombrero to any kind of hat, that is if we are not using the word “gorro/gorra” alternatively.

The “sombreros” you usually see in every single stereotype you may imagine are based a mixture of the charro outfit and the way poor proletariats would dress around the dawn of the 20th century whom also were an emblem of the Mexican Revolution of 1910. (Another national celebration that goes in November 20th.) Slavery was already illegal in Mexico, but these people were exploited in a disguised system in which the workers were paid (miserably) and all of their expenses would be controlled in stores they were only allowed to spend at; those stores were also owned by the proprietors of the land they worked at.

The stereotype has been so reflected in so many places inside and outside the border it has even been reclaimed by the Mexican people themselves.

“Oh, so is it okay for me to wear one?”

No.

By the way when I mentioned “charros”, I mean a traditional type of horsemen that follow their own set of etiquettes and styles, and it’s also practiced by women who are not only beautiful but also super badass.

3. Maracas.

I SERIOUSLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH MEXICAN STEREOTYPES AND MARACAS TO BE HONEST.

LIKE, THEY ARE USED IN A FEW CULTURES OF MEXICO SUCH AS THE YAQUIS, BUT OTHER THAN THAT IT REALLY DOESN’T HAVE MUCH OF A CULTURAL BACKGROUND FOR MEXICO. ALMOST ANY OTHER COUNTRY IN LATIN AMERICA, BUT NOT MUCH IN MEXICO.

THEY ARE MORE OF A BRAZILIAN THING.EDIT: Actually no, they are not Brazlian at all either.

Much like the sombrero, if you “went to Mexico” (Tijuana, Cancún, Mazatlán, Rocky Point) and they gave you maracas with vivid colors on them, there is absolutely no cultural importance behind it as souvenir of Mexico. Mexicans love to point at, laugh, and exploit the cultural obliviousness of tourists. Especially American tourists.

*cough*

4. The mustache.

This one is a bit strange, albeit kind of true in some regards.

The mustache is an international symbol of masculinity, and Mexico is a country full of machismo, albeit “caballerosidad” is also one of the qualities in the Mexican etiquette which involves respecting the autonomy and individual identity of women, always approach to a non-violent solution, and a general attitude of politeness to both men and women; that said it is not impossible for a Mexican to be misogynistic as well.

ANYWAY, the mustache is kind of a downhill-snowball stereotype that may have started in just seeing many Mexicans having a mustache, but so do a LOT of American males as well, so uhhhh… it’s a very strange label to pin on Mexicans over all.

5. Tequila.

I actually don’t mind if you drink tequila. You kinda support the economy of my country and it’s an actual cultural thing that I like it when it’s spread around.

Just remember that it is NOT drunk with a worm in it. That is mezcal. Its like tequila’s wilder cousin. And no, it has no mescaline.

6. Other stereotypes.

  • Sugar skulls are a cool thing, I guess. No, they have absolutely nothing to do with Cinco de Mayo, they are part of Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) which is celebrated in November 1st.
  • “Do not drink the water” is a weird stereotype I have heard. I would not simply recommend you to drink untreated tap water anywhere. Period. We have water purifiers everywhere.
  • Mexico is what I call a “second world country”. It is not as developed and advanced as the United States, but it IS civilized in a great way we count with continuous technological developments and lots and lots of progressist enthusiasts.
  • Mexico is not proud of drug trafficking. It’s an extremely serious problem that has the entire country terrorized and I am really exhausted of all the attention they get from dumb Hollywood movies rather than the real Mexico. Do not talk about drugs. Do not talk about narcos. This is a very delicate topic that many people overlook the impact it’s had with Mexican people in their identity. Please.

  • I persist. Do not, seriously, DO NOT associate Mexican people with drug dealers, drug lords, “narcos”, or any other extension. If you seriously STILL wonder “what the big deal is”, I dare you to Google “narcos” on the image search and look at all the horrible things they do to the innocents. (It’s seriously fucked up and triggering with blood, gore, body horror shit.)
  • Mexican people have contributed with some groundbreaking contributions to science and technology and the way we are leading our lives. 
  • > Mario J. Molina is a chemist who discovered the causes of ozone depletion in the atmosphere.

    > Guillermo González Camarena patented the first trichromatic TV color transmitter in 1940. 8 years before Peter Carl Goldmark presented it to CBS and took most of the credit.

    > Luis Ernesto Miramontes co-developed “the pill”. Props.

    > Andrés Manuel del Río discovered vanadium in 1801 which is used to strengthen steel further and is applied from bicycles and hardware tools, to dental implants and jet engines.

  • Yes, Mexicans are actually laid back. No, they are not inherently lazy.
  • Mexican people are culturally masters of improvisation and creativity, this leads them to engineer creative solutions to everyday problems. Just felt like sharing this fact.

Ok so this is all I have right off the bat, and I wish you a happy Cinco de Mayo. Have fun, get drunk, party on; I don’t care, we don’t care. Just have these things on mind.

TL;DR: Please do not do/say anything racist.

Headcanon: The first time Widowmaker and Reaper met following their both being in Talon wasn’t the first time they’d officially met. However, it didn’t mean they liked each other any more. 

Widowmaker & Reaper © Blizzard

Artwork © Branded-Rose

I get that it’s mostly symbolism. The jacket emblazoned with the Corazon title for him AND Rosinante and the heart symbol on his chest shown to the world to represent Cora-san

BUT DID LAW SERIOUSLY THINK

THAT PUTTING ON A MUSTACHE AND SUNGLASSES WAS ENOUGH OF A DISGUISE???

DID HE SERIOUSLY THINK THAT THAT WAS GOING TO KEEP HIM UNDER THE RADAR??

HE’S WALKING AROUND WITH THE SAME HAT AND PANTS HE ALWAYS WEARS AND THE TATTOOS GALORE AND THE CORAZON ON HIS BACK. DID HE REALLY THINK THAT THE MUSTACHE IS WHAT WAS GOING TO FOOL DOFLAMINGO AND HIS CREW AND MEN.

LAW, YOU’RE PRECIOUS.

anonymous asked:

Slides you two buttons and a piece of lint. How about some Voltron Headcanons? Finger Guns out.

lint and finger guns?? sold

  • lance: “don’t worry guys, I’ll stay behind and protect the princess” allura, visibly eyeing lance’s biceps: “…………….. uh okay”
  • fun party game: guessing how keith got kicked out of the garrison
    • he stole a space craft!! (”okay i only stole parts and i was never caught for that” “wait what”)
    • he called iverson a dirty lying quiznak!! (”i didn’t even know that word back then lance”)
    • he tried to alert the public that the garrison was covering up the kerberos mission!!! (”i didn’t but they were”)
    • to be honest he probably just decked iverson
  • coran designed the space pirate outfits himself
  • *hunk crashes his lion* “well, looks like I’ve hit… rock bottom” 
  • weirdly enough, slav is the ultimate It Could Be Worse guy
    • [something goes right] slav, sweating: “there’s a fifty-two percent chance that this’ll still go horribly wrong in some way”
    • [something goes horribly wrong] slav: “i mean i know we just lost an engine, but on the bright side, at least we’re not in one of the three hundred realities where the cockpit blew up instead”
  • sometimes allura’ll shapeshift herself a mustache so she can stroke it pensively
  • keith: “i hate authority figures” pidge: “you’re an authority figure now" keith: “…shit”
  • [lance’s mission log while stranded alone] “i mean, technically i’m the lowest ranked member of the crew. i would only really be ‘in charge’ if i were the only remaining person… so what do you know?? i’m in charge” 
5

i don’t think i’ll ever be able to get these images out of my head so i’m going to have you suffer w/ me

interviewer asked if i thought mario was handsome. he had a mustache so i had to say yes. right? i had to say yes. saying yes was calculated. saying yes was the smart move. 

“hell yeah,” i said. the room was spinning. 
“i’d fuck the shit out of mario. i’d let him do things to me that weren’t even legal.”
i was overdoing it now but i couldn’t stop. although my mouth was forming words that were coherent, albeit a bit vulgar, the inside of my head was screaming. my mouth was so dry. i needed to stop now.

“i want the pipe.” 

he tried to interrupt then. he’d clearly had enough, but i knew that, at that point, i had to keep going. continuing was calculated. continuing was the smart move. 

“i want mario to rip me apart. i want him to blend both of my livers and make me drink it. i want him to freeze his semen into an icicle and stab me thousands and thousands of times.”

he told me to stop then. he didn’t so much say it as yell it, which i personally thought was incredibly rude. you don’t yell during an interview. none of the interview youtube videos i’d watched had mentioned any yelling. i wanted to point it out but he seemed a bit agitated, so i made a mental note to send him a polite email after i’d gotten the job. 

“that’s quite enough.”
at least he was using his inside voice now. 

“peach who?” i said, my voice barely above a whisper. my mouth felt as if it were on fire. i needed water. 

“excuse me?”

“peach who” i croaked. 
“that’s what mario’s going to say after i–”
suddenly i began coughing. maybe even dry heaving a little, but he didn’t have to know that.
“–after i fuck his brains out.” i finished. 

turns out mario was his son. i must’ve glanced at the family beach photo on his desk one too many times, but only because i was trying to figure out how one man could be so bald. he must have waxed his head. he had to. no human head reflected direct sunlight with such boldness. 

he began to talk about how there currently wasn’t a position open. i’d watched enough videos to know that was interview talk. it meant i wasn’t getting hired. i had to think fast. maybe there was still a way i could spin this. if i couldn’t attack from outside, maybe i could still infiltrate from within.

“that’s too bad. but maybe you could tell mario to give me a call sometime?”

he called security.

pidge and lance probably cause chaos in the castle of lions 24/7 by playing pranks on each other. so eventually shiro sits them down and asks them to stop, or at least tone it down a bit. so pidge and lance take it as a challenge and that seeing as they can’t play pranks of each other they’ll just play pranks on the other team members.

at first they start out kinda subtle by messing with shiro’s shampoo so every time he washes his hair his fringe will slowly turn more and more green. then they step it up a notch by constantly switching around people’s clothes and armor and pretending they have nothing to do with it. next up they pick sporadic times during the day in which to randomly exchange an item of clothing, this results in lance being asked a number of times why he’s wearing pidge’s glasses; to which he simply replies, “i’ve always worn these.” a step even further means rigging the castle’s overhead speaker system so whenever shiro enters a room darth vader’s theme starts to play. and of course the cherry on the top of the cake is the pair somehow miraculously managing to shave coran’s mustache off whilst keeping it as one whole and then supergluing it onto keith’s face whilst he sleeps.

shiro and allura have them cleaning the castle toilets for the next three months. they regret nothing