so much ocd

I’m like 99.99999999% sure I have ADHD but I’m also terrified to start any kind of process to get diagnosed because what if it turns out I’m just Faking It and am actually just uniquely terrible at life??

greywardenfinas  asked:

I hope it's ok if I turn around all the important otp sleeping questions to you, but with FiNer! c:

yes here are my answers and this time i will not backspace from this page ashdfjkasdf Thank you for the ask! It was v fun and nice ^^ 

This is vampire Finas and vampire hunter Abner, as canon-y as I can imagine it. Finas is able to come over and live in Abner’s place for a while when he wants, for these questions.

1) Who falls asleep on the other and has to be carried to bed?
Being a human Abner tends to need sleep more than a vampire, try as he might. Finas can easily just. Not sleep. Abner has no way to win. Finas has to remind him to rest at appropriate times, persuades him to at least sit in the couch for a moment. And then as soon he closes his eyes and he looks like he’s abt to sleep, takes his hand and stands him up and leads him to bed where he falls on his own. Abner doesn’t really like being manhandled like being physically carried, though Finas could easily do it.

2) Who goes to sleep at a normal time and who loves to stay up late?
Abner stays up so late, bc his nightly jobs. Basically nocturnal. Still he stays up even longer, doing more Useful Things and spending time on his OCD rituals. He lives on caffeine at times. The he crashes and sleeps forever. What are sleep schedules?Finas is v flexible abt sleep, he has no preference. Either doesn’t sleep (Abner got sunblocking window cover thingies so he can chill in the living room), either sleeps at the same time as Abner, or purposefully sleeps when Abner’s awake and jumpy and low-key nervous abt Finas’ vampirism deal, so he can relax for a bit.Someone help these two men who don’t know how to sleep.

3) Who slips into bed at two in the morning and immediately gets wrapped in a hug and not let go.
They’re both prepared to NEVER ADMIT they really like when they are cuddled. Abner is a professional, professionals don’t need cuddles. Finas doesn’t want to seem clingy, having the impression Abner don’t really like cuddling.But there is a lot of ‘I’m totally asleep I’m just latching onto you in my sleep, this is not on purpose, I am not awake’ going on. They both can’t believe how good their secret plan to cuddle is working. They are both fools.

4) How does your OTP sleep?
What position(s) are the comfiest?Abner on his side and Finas in his arms, facing each other. Finas likes to steal Abner’s bodywarmth and press his face into his chest and wrap his arms around his middle, legs tangling a lil bit. Since Finas is goddarn cold to the touch Abner’s p dressed in bed to not die of frostbite. There’s also Spooning™. Finas is used to being the little spoon like why are everyone taller than him come on this is ridiculous. Plot twist Abner is partial to being the little spoon.
(Finas sleeps w casimiro one night after being w Abner and Cas is like. You come into MY house and try to spoon ME, I have octopus arms syndrome cmon you gotta let me grab you not the other way around)

5) Who wakes up during a thunderstorm?
Paradox. He doesn’t like them. Has to be on or close to Abner and comforted. Finas lies/sits close to Abner to “also comfort his pet”. Neither of them are bothered by the thunder and rain. One time Paradox wanted to be held by Finas during a storm (though Abner couldn’t leave the room)

6) Who wakes the other up so they can be wrapped up in a hug again?
Neither, really. They just shift closer in a very not suspicious way and tries to mind control the other into hugging them. Doesn’t work often.

7) Who sneaks out to get a midnight snack?
Finas gets out when he knows Abner is asleep to drink some bagged blood (which is not stored in the fridge thank you very much. He’s got a cooler in the medical cabinet.) Abner’s got the body fluids issue and would be repulsed to the moon and beyond if he saw him drink, so does it when he’s asleep.
Abner sleeps until his alarm goes off or he’s woken up so no mid-sleep snacking.

8) Who starts flipping out because oh my god someone’s in the kitchen? What do they do? ((Bonus points if they end up hurting the other person and have to patch them up from a defense attack)).
Abner will show up with a silenced gun or the closest kitchen knife if he hears noise. Gotta check it out and always assumes the worst. If there’s a burglar kneecaps will be blasted. No, Finas cannot get the burglar, they are a human and deserves better than being a snack. They are however a burglar who broke into Abner’s home and he is both jury and executor so they will be left somewhere to almost certainly bleed out.

9) Do they sit in the living room and start a movie and eat snacks or go back to bed and cuddle back to sleep.
A nice hanging out time at home would be watching a movie with acceptable levels of cuddling and leaning on each other, playing chess (Abner wins and Finas has since long stopped letting him win he is trying his best) or just talking abt a subject for a long time. They enjoy conversation. They’re both, yanno, proper, and knows the couch isn’t really for sleeping on, so they wrap up and either Abner goes to bed or both goes to bed. Gotta make an effort to not keep the conversation going or no one will sleep.
(With casimiro there’s a lot more silence, and thats not a bad thing, because most things has been said at some point and they know each other well enough to know what the other would say so like. That’s nice and all but getting into a discussion is fun too. bc he doesnt know what Abner’s gonna say.)

10) Who wakes up first and starts coffee/breakfast and who lays in bed as long as possible to grumble and complain?
Abner goes up before Finas, a lot earlier than he needs to so he’s got time for some OCD 4pm “morning” rituals, but he would prefer to get to sleep a couple more hours. Not really much for Finas to do then, except start a pot of coffee for him. Abner does however grumble and complain every time the alarm goes off, and Finas would silently complain bc ffs he just got into a comfy cuddle position.

I’ve been noticing a big thing in how my brain works. I don’t know how to describe it without an example, but it’s really odd and I don’t quite understand it.

I came up with the idea that I wanted to make a half circle skirt, right? I thought of the process of making the skirt; digging through my fabric, laying it on the floor, taking measurements, drawing out the pattern, cutting it out, sewing it up, inserting the zipper, hemming it… Then I thought about how this process was messy and usually took a considerable amount of space. Then I started thinking of how messy my room was. I decided that before I could start working on a skirt, I needed to clean my room. But some stuff I can’t clean up; I have a couple of piles of fabric that I can no longer fit into my storage bin. They can’t be put away until I can get a new storage shelf. So I started looking at shelves online. I got sidetracked by something else and dropped the whole thing for a while. Eventually, though, I stumbled upon the topic in my head and thought my way through the whole process again. This time, instead of being hung up on the fabric piles, I got stuck on the unfinished sewing project sitting on my ironing board. It takes up a lot of space on there, and if I were to sew a skirt, I would need to find a new temporary home for it, making what I perceived to be an even bigger mess. I decided that I should finish that and put it away before starting on the skirt; problem, the pattern instructions are confusing and I don’t know how to proceed with making it. This led me to feel awful about how I couldn’t finish the project. It brought me to the conclusion that A. I suck to some degree, and B. I cannot sew the skirt that I wanted.

So, long story short, my train of thought just keeps on chugging until it finds something vaguely related that is somewhat negative and inhibits me from carrying out the task that I want to do. …Is that an autism thing? Does it occur in other stuff, like OCD or ADD?? I’ve really been noticing it lately, and it’s super frustrating… Thoughts?

  • friends: hahah these pictures bring out my ocd so much!!!!hahahsg
  • me: *shows actual ocd symptoms like hitting myself, touching all the walls of a room, picking at my skin*
  • friends: wtf are u doing
  • me: :(
  • friends: omgggdhgd im so ocd!!!!!!!!!!!1wow this picture is so symetricallllllll

i want stories about ocd throughout time. people from ancient civilisations doing compulsions, people from medieval times dealing with intrusive thoughts, people from the future trying to deal with their ocd. i want to hear about the different ways it could affect lives because of the time period.

Pony stimboards are open!

Making stimboards helps so much with my ocd and my tactile hallucinations so I might as well start doing other ponies! I’ll finish the mane six and take (canon) pony (from any gen).

I just finished my first complete acrylic painting in 2 and a half years.

:)