so much more but im tired

A screenshot from trying to record a vlog, but by the end of it I was so tired and I didnt want to continue 😢 recording is rough lol …you can see Im pretty much ready to call it a day

I want to do more on YouTube too lately, since I keep seeing a lot of misinformation there as well (and even fake priestesses or other really outlandish things) plus - its a lot more interactive in terms of hearing voice, and personable!

Since I hope I can move to Japan soon too, I hope I can do vlogs for shrine visits… ⛩🙇

its 3am and my girlfriend is lying next to me and she is very very ill

she is still very very beautiful but weak and tired and i would do anything to heal her so ive been fetching her tylenol and water and snacks

i dont think im helping much though; the nights ive spent, ive spent with tears clogging my ears; i always wake her up with my sobs

with my “do you hate me"s

i hate being such a fucking self-loathing borderline baby, like duh your gf is suffering and can barely move, that seems more important than reassuring you that youre not annoying and shes not gonna leave you every second of the night

especially when she physically cant

im tired of the whispers and being crazy in ways she doesnt understand. she asks why im crying, i say im sorry, im sorry, i dont know, im sorry, she says she doesnt know how to help me, i say me neither, i just think itd be better off if i disappear, i just think i should die

my brain cant handle the darkness is all, my throat cant handle the unclarity

i say im sorry, i just love you a lot, she says i love you too

how do u be okay

2

smile!

just quickly slapped some color on a sketch lolol >_< 

don’t repost / reuse / re-edit.

10

I need you to tell me everything you know about Magnus Bane.
Magnus Bane is the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

anonymous asked:

Hi, 7goodangel. I am here to ask you about PaperJam as a shy, smol and innocent being (mainly thegreatrouge made him be). There has been some conflicts regarding his trait. Some said his canonical personality is a jerk, like what you wrote in his bio / info and some said that is severely wrong and being shy, (which made him shipped with Fresh), is his canonical personality. What are your thoughts about this? I mean, it is your character and people are taking control of it. Don't you disagree?

Well… I have talked to people and seen public conversations and this has happened several times to me over months. I guess I’ve gotten a little numb to it now… or maybe it’s due to school that I haven’t given it the attention that it deserves. Probably due to school. 

I just can’t update constantly like others - even though some others in school were and are able to update constantly. I can’t keep going around and holding up my bio of PJ and police people. It’s exhausting to me… it really takes up the small bit of free time I have. 

I think after I get a solid job that I’ll be able to go around better… but anyway - back to your question. 


While I love seeing interpretations and do not want people to be limited by something and have their imaginations go forth… it’s proving that a huge con comes with that mentality - which you have pointed out. A lot of people swear that PJ is the cute, innocent interpretation that really, did get PJ popular in the first place. While I did have him as a jerk from the beginning - I kinda kept that info to my RP blog - so you could say it is my fault this is all happening and I do think that. I could of done something to make it not as bad as it is now… 

It’s just like the NSFW stuff… people just assume the first thing and run with it. And it really does make me feel like I really am not needed for my own character at points. 

It’s a struggle - I don’t want to have people stop interpreting PJ within AUs… but I also don’t want people to just see him as an innocent child to ship with Fresh. 

And I’m still trying to find the best solution to it. 

But… I feel like the damage is already done. It’s too late for me to talk to all of these people going around swearing on their life that PJ is canoncally like Rouge’s interpretation/AUs. It feels like an hopeless battle to me. 

And I guess I needed someone to ask me this question so then I can fully say my thoughts on this. 

So in short, while I love creativity and don’t want to snuff it out (considering some people would probably think I’m doing that already with saying “No Sin”), I still don’t like it. It irritates me, irks me, frustrates me, and I feel like even as the person who thought of PJ in the first place, my voice isn’t enough. Communities seem like they don’t care about artists unless they reach a ‘certain goal of popularity’ or seem like they have a more professional style of art. I know I do not reach either of those titles. 

People misspell my username all the time - I actually claimed ‘7goodangle’ on tumblr for that reason.

People still say “I’m too lazy to find who made PJ” when they clearly mentioned they looked at the bio on the wiki. 

People still go around arguing others on the canon ship of OmniPJ and swearing that FreshPaper is the true canon ship, when all people are pointing out is that they need to keep the canon ship in mind when going around with information.

Even just basic personality traits… and these things are happening on sites that I do not nor want an account for. 

I still want others to have fun - to be happy; but I don’t know… I guess I’m cutting out my own happiness to get everyone else happy? I want to eventually write a version of PJ within his own universe and story… and he is more like the version I created within the UT verse. Not exact - but close. Though who knows… I might shove PJ to the side and replace his role with another character. I’m still weighing options.

Cause PJ was the first character I ever put this much time and thought into… my first character that was balanced, well rounded…

And what happens?

…well.

You said it Anon. 

They took it - changed it (initially as an AU but now people think it’s canon) - and I can’t do much about it. Due to school and not much free-time… due to how many don’t know the true creator… and just back talking anyone who is just mentioning it to people who swear by it. 

As an artist and a character designer…

It makes me not want to show designs, characters, and stories ever again online.

Considering if this is how I was treated on the first one… why even take a chance at a second one? If it has brought me so much stress, frustration, and time… why even try it again?

I said I was only going to do fanart so if anyone stole it, it didn’t really matter. 
I think I should have stuck with that thought process. 

In conclusion, there are some major things to take away here. First – that yes, I do not like how it has skewed this far to the point of arguing over a fandom version with the canon. Canon is canon and I get the different AUs – this is too far. Way too far. I am emotionally drained from this – from this whole mess that I have been defending throughout majority of PJ’s lifespan. I will state this – Paper Jam is my character. He is my original character that I created more than a year ago. And the UT AU fandom took my character and warped him to something he is not and all of his original meaning is lost. I do not like to hurt others or make other sad – but I must put my foot fully down. This miscommunication needs to stop. I am tired of repeating things over and over and I have past my breaking point time and time again. I just want people to see PJ how he really is… and I wish that people could be focusing more on the reality of him instead of the alternate that they all claim as truth.

Final words: I still like Undertale – I still like creating characters and having fun – but the Undertale AU fandom is ridiculous now. The Amino UT community is insanity in an app, and there is a lot of stuff that has made many artists and creators to their breaking point and leaving the fandom entirely. Everyone in this fandom needs to take ten steps back and look at what they are doing. Go back to the game. Play it again – watch your favorite let’s player’s videos of it again. 

And just… food for thought… please don’t jump the gun on someone else’s OC’s personality and actions. 

I do not want anyone to experience what I had.

langblr gothic
  • everyone is learning more languages than you. even the people who only focus on one at a time. literally everyone. how do they do it.
  • you have seen the same duolingo screenshot on your dash at least 7 times today. it only has 3 notes.
  • you see an “add your language” post and begin to add to it in your target language. as you finish and go to hit reblog, you notice that someone else has already added it. you feel as if you have been robbed of something beautiful.
  • no one else is learning your target language. everyone seems to be learning everything except what you are learning. you are alone, and you are afraid.
  • 99%. the course has always been 99% complete. it always will be. still, you cling to the hope that it will reach 100%. it never does.
  • danish. norwegian. swedish. you scan the text looking for clues, trying to figure out which one you are reading. the letters run together as you struggle to remember the differences. swedish uses ø, right? yes, you think so. but it does not matter. scandinavia is an illusion.
  • a post comes up with cyrillic used to spell english words, but as usual, it is wrong. you wonder where “yaussia” is. 
  • you have started learning yaussian. yaussian does not exist, and neither does the country it comes from. you learn it anyway. this, you think, this is my destiny.

i can’t believe they had maggie finally admit to alex what she went through as a child and i have to put up with this stupid love triangle instead of explaining further what LGBT children go through every day. Like, I love that they gave her such a realistic and relatable backstory but please, don’t have her drop that bomb and then give the storyline like 3 minutes… Its just too important to let slide… the LGBT community deserves better. 

I can’t believe exo shared the spotlight with their fellow performers when they won a daesang.

I can’t believe exo apologized to international fans for not being able to see them because of their (already very) bone-tiring domestic schedule upon them receiving a daesang.

I can’t believe I stan such a kind, hardworking, and amazing group who stays humble despite the pedestal fans and music industry have put them on.

MBTI: Finals
  • Just. Frosty and silent and so tired they can hardly move: ISTJ, ISTP, INFJ
  • Cries as they give up their hobbies for a week of studying for finals...but then still does said hobbies anyway: ISFP, INFP
  • Makes study guides and sees the frosty ones and think their moods are their fault, cries: ISFJ, ESFJ
  • Screams in the middle of lunch that they're "SO STRESSED IM GONNA DIE HELP ME SOMEONE": ENFJ, ESFP
  • Chill. You're all going to fail anyway, why stress yourselves out even more?: INTJ, INTP
  • Laughs about not having to study a lot, realizes too late that they did need to study: ENFP, ESTP, ENTP
  • Brings out the big guns. Writes textbooks of notes. Yells at you from your yard to study harder: ESTJ, ENTJ
3

More Mystic Messenger doodles because I’m in HELL

They  are pretty self explanatory I guess! …I was very tired at the end of Zen’s route, that’s thee motive of the last mini-comic haha

Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the nice tags and comments in the last one, y’all are super nice <3 <3 <3 <3

an outfit I suppose! It’s really hard to find anything in my wardrobe that matches these tights since they’re colors I don’t normally use lol

i don’t understand why some people are so ??? upset?? about equal rights???? does it PERSONALLY OFFEND you if people are trying to ask for more right??? is a woman asking for equal pay, a choice in their life, representation in politics REALLY attack you?? if you say “i’m tired of seeing these no one cares” that’s like seeing a post saying “be happy with yourself” and going “FUCK OFF IM TIRED OF POSITIVITY AND GOOD MORALS” and i don’t understand why people have the need to say “it’s because women belong at home taking care of children” and “women choose to have less rights” because WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT I WANT why can’t men stay at home with children? i know plenty of men would love that but there’s no one telling them to “stay in the kitchen” and why would i choose to be oppressed and why don’t you believe me when i say i want to be free to do what i want? YOU want to own mORE GUNS and dePort innocent people BUT I CANT HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE MY BABY’S FUTURE????

not to be that person but……… why are fans always complaining about line distribution when the members made it clear that they dont care about this, and like they know something about composing songs. like cant you appreciate what they release without complaining ? yall asked for more jin and taehyung and you have it, why cant you just appreciate it

read more for the illustrated definition of “spending way too much time on something

(an extremely wild AU where Michael has a 4-second-moment of genuine sense of guilt and other assorted human emotions the night before the N-Y heist. yeah yeah I know, how far fetched, I’m crazy like that.)

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