so much could have been prevented

"Garnet only talks about Fusion stuff now"

So I’ve got some stuff to say about my favorite character: Garnet! 

It’s kind of in response to some criticism I’ve heard: specifically, that Garnet became nothing but a Fusion poster child who thinks about and talks about nothing but fusion since the time her Fusion status was revealed at the end of Season One. 

But I’m not really arguing with the perspective so much as trying to bring some nuance to seeing why Garnet is written the way she is–by examining how her focus has changed over time and what I think we’re going to see the show do with her in the future.

Okay, so to some extent? Yes, Garnet’s inclination to talk about fusion all the time went into overdrive after the reveal. Garnet says very little about herself for an entire season, doesn’t find excuses to bring up fusion, doesn’t seem particularly eager to extol the virtues of fusion or fuse with others (though they seem excited to fuse with her, for sure!), and only has a couple little hints about being a giant fusion-fan dork when we see her reaction to Stevonnie. 

But keep in mind that in Season One, Garnet’s few attempts to open up were not rewarded. For instance, Garnet felt punished for revealing something about herself–her Future Vision–to Steven late in Season One, and it was clear that she risked it because the possibility of being closer to him was worth so much. She learned that her words have incredible power, and that this power is magnified when she’s letting others into the reality of her existence. Garnet is … let’s be serious here, Garnet is majestic and bafflingly cool but she can be kind of awkward. She seems like a stoic badass most of the time when she doesn’t open her mouth, but she can REALLY be a mess when she starts talking and doesn’t think it through first.

She’s completely in her element when she’s talking about fusion, though–and it’s not just because she is a Fusion and loves being one. It’s also because she was the FIRST of her type of Fusion, and she had to fight so hard on so many levels to be allowed to exist. Her existence has, for so long, been ABOUT being allowed to exist.

I’m going to take a weird turn here and talk about Amethyst. But it’ll connect in a minute, I promise.

Amethyst was the clear outsider of the Crystal Gems. She arrived after the war and has no idea about a lot of the events from Gem history. She spent most of her life with no idea that she was “supposed to be” big like Jasper, or what it was like to live on Homeworld, or what other Amethysts might be like, or what her status would have been if she’d come out on time.

And I imagine Rose ADORED THAT.

I suppose Rose was DELIGHTED at the idea of a Gem being alive for the first time in known history without that programming. What it must be like to NOT be indoctrinated into Gem culture, the worst parts of it anyway, not have to fight to oppress others and steal resources for your world and worship your Diamond, just to LIVE as part of a family, somewhat like the humans Rose so admired. Amethyst was a clean slate! 

I don’t know how much she came out of the ground knowing, but it’s clear she was NOT programmed with any idea about what Gems are “supposed to be” like. It was news to her when Peridot said she was supposed to be twice her size, was supposed to outrank everyone on her team, was this mysterious thing called a Quartz. 

It’s a lot like being adopted: she never knew any other family, and she loved her family and her home, but what is it like, to use an inappropriate human analogy, to find one’s BLOOD? When you’re the only one in your family who never knew it?

It was satisfying to her to find her Famethyst at the Zoo. Seeing other Amethysts (and Beta Quartzes), knowing that most of them might have been huge but ended up total goofballs like her, with her ancestry, with the answer to her original name (which to her wasn’t an automatizing reduction of identity to an alphanumeric designation, but instead represented CONNECTION, HISTORY, ANSWERS). What it must be like to her to find that family and know something she’d never known–something Rose didn’t want her to ever have to know, but still had meaning to her.

Back to Garnet.

Garnet is a Fusion, and she can never QUITE be an individual the way single Gems can. She doesn’t consider that a failing, and even though she almost always feels like one being, her Fusion identity IS her. “This is who we are” and “This is who I am” are both statements about her that are true, even though they suggest duality and individuality at once. Garnet has no one to talk to about that, and she’s used to keeping it inside. But no Gems who meet her are ignorant that she’s a Fusion. They immediately see it, looking at her, knowing that’s what she is and carrying whatever judgment they might have about it.

Enter Steven.

He has no idea what a Fusion is for most of his life, and has no idea that he might need to see Garnet as fundamentally different from his other “parents.” That may have been sort of freeing for her, I think. Not telling Steven was really her only chance to know what it’s like to look into someone’s eyes and know they just think of you like one being. 

Let’s remind ourselves who told Steven about fusion. It wasn’t Garnet! Amethyst brought up Opal. Pearl explained what fusion is. Opal was the first Fusion Steven met while knowing he was meeting a Fusion, and he felt a little weird about it at first because he didn’t know who she was and was worried she wouldn’t know who he was. Steven still has no appreciable relationship with Opal. Just with Pearl and Amethyst.

Garnet is a perma-Fusion and she isn’t going to spend much of her life unfused. It’s what she wants and it’s what Sapphire and Ruby want. Steven obviously wants to understand them, and he has more of a relationship with them than with Opal, but I doubt Garnet wants him to get too used to it. She’s the permanent fixture there. She’s going to stay Garnet. And she wanted Steven to love that she is Garnet without feeling a weird sense of loss over the idea that her presence prevents him from seeing Ruby or Sapphire.

But during Season One, Garnet found that presenting herself like a single Gem means keeping a secret and not opening up much at all. 

She became more demonstrative after the reveal because she COULD be–and someone she loves so much has crossed the threshold where he could have judged her or been upset, and he WASN’T. You could see she felt guilty, but also so relieved. 

She is free to talk about it now, to show him who she is, to help him understand his own fusion capabilities and fusion identity when he’s part of Stevonnie or Smoky, and for once, she gets to be the mentor to someone about something so sacred to her.

There is more to Garnet than being a Fusion–much more. She has a personality. She has strengths, and interests, and fears, and quirks both adorable and troubling. The show does continue to explore those, and I think sometimes people forget about it when this show focuses on her relationships. 

In “Reformed,” Garnet explored her influence as a leader and what “being too hard on” Amethyst inspired in her; it was an Amethyst episode, but Garnet learned too, and it wasn’t “about” her being a Fusion. 

When she was frozen in horror under the Kindergarten when she met the fusion experiments, of course this related to fusion and was particularly upsetting to her because it’s a perversion of her identity, but she also explored her feelings of guilt and grief, and discussed the importance of consent with Steven. 

And the consent issue came up again with Sardonyx, which again, though it focused on fusion, it was not exclusively about Garnet being a Fusion. It was about trust with Pearl, betrayal, and again, the important heaviness of being the leader, being the one everyone looks to for what to do–even when she’s falling apart, she has to be the example. “Always the bigger Gem,” indeed. Interesting how in that case, her Fusion status made her more vulnerable to taking that betrayal so much more personally.

Since then, yes, we’ve seen a LOT of fusion-centric stuff about her. Peridot’s Very Special Episode with Garnet was about understanding fusion, but also about understanding GARNET. As is necessary with understanding Garnet, seeing her as a Fusion is an important part of understanding her as a whole. It’s not the only thing to understand, but it is FUNDAMENTAL. 

The episode “The Answer” was the story of her relationship and how she became herself, but it was also about her being literally unmasked for an entire episode, coming forward to tell Steven an important foundation of her character, having the chance finally to reveal personal information to him NOT under duress, in a way she chose and planned and had complete control of. And then having Steven appreciate and accept THAT. Not in a terrible situation when they’d been kidnapped and Ruby and Sapphire were wrenched apart and revealed to him in such a traumatic way. This time, it’s HER way. Garnet got to do that, and got to include him, on her terms.

“Monster Reunion” had important Garnet stuff in it–it wasn’t a Garnet-centric episode, but it involved Garnet first denying Steven’s request to help Centipeetle, and then giving in, and then acknowledging that letting him follow his heart had been a good decision. 

In the “Bismuth” episode, Bismuth kept bringing up Garnet’s being a Fusion as a sort of breaking-your-balls kind of ribbing, but at the point when they’d known each other, that was a new thing, something she was probably actively trying to develop pride in, just like Pearl and her pride in belonging to no one. 

“Mindful Education” wasn’t just about fusion training or learning to cultivate balance; it was also about mindfulness meditation in general, and though it focused on how being out of sync is particularly confusing and lethal for Fusions, it had very good lessons about handling trauma and reminding yourself where you are, which can be generalized for Steven and Connie even when they’re not Stevonnie.

“Three Gems and a Baby” did sort of oversimplify each of the Gems’ misunderstandings of what Steven might be–Amethyst trying to see the glow as evidence of shapeshifting, Pearl trying to see the glow as evidence that Rose is operating by known Gem logic and is trapped but not gone, Garnet trying to see the glow as evidence that Steven is a complex Fusion with human organic material and is trying to unfuse. 

I’m not sure exactly what Garnet was thinking was going to happen if she was right and he unfused into two beings, but she evidently STILL thinks of Steven as a type of love Fusion if you assume Guide to the Crystal Gems is accurate. It’s pretty typical to draw common ground between yourself and someone you want to understand or be closer to. And if you think about it, this episode also showed that Garnet, despite her attempts to be a calm voice of reason, REALLY MISSES ROSE and was showing how desperate she was to see her again. Yes, she focused on fusion, but it was something larger in context–just like she is.

And then “Steven’s Dream” happened, which involved some pretty heavy stuff between Garnet and Steven. She withheld the truth, she didn’t know how to make him stay out of danger, she felt powerless and helpless to stop him because she still has so much fear of the Diamonds and what they can so easily take away from her and her planet and her friends. She gets a lot of criticism over this episode because she fumbled SO epically when almost all of us can think of something we could have said to stop Steven from going to Korea if we’d been partial to Garnet’s visions. But that was an episode about their relationship, her shortcomings, her WEAKNESSES, and both of the times she expressed her helplessness, she took her visor off like she always does in super sincere moments. 

This whole dynamic was very important, and though it did lead to a plot line that made her unfusing necessary, I think a lot of people overlook “Steven’s Dream” as a significant Garnet episode. It is. Garnet screwed up and it had nothing to do with her being a Fusion and it had everything to do with how she can fall to pieces in other ways if she’s made to face her fears–to even consider being face to face with Blue Diamond.

“Room for Ruby” had a couple Garnet moments too; it opened and closed with Steven interacting with Garnet, and though not much went on, it seemed like she is still trying to figure out how much to put in Steven’s hands … 

And I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s wondering when and if and to what extent Steven can share the burden or take over as leader, like his mother. Because I don’t think Garnet particularly likes leading the team. She does it because she can handle it, but she’s not always the best strategist. She can be emotional in ways that make her short-sighted, and that’s when–like Ruby–she punches first and asks questions later, and–like Sapphire–she puts on a mask and pretends everything is very fine and no one needs to worry. Garnet struggling with this, and with being wrong, and with her role on the team, is sort of subtle compared to Fusion-related material, but it’s very much there.

I am in agreement with some of the folks who would like to see some straight-up individual character development for Garnet when she’s not talking about fusion or focusing on being a Fusion or educating someone about fusion. I’d like to know more about her hobbies–what would she do with a day if she had one all to herself without worrying about capturing Gems or leading missions? I’d like to know more about her funny little competitive nature. I’d like to see more of those quirky behaviors come up, where she does something unexplainable because she’s just kind of a weirdo (you know, like putting Steven on her head and walking away, or drawing a picture of herself when everyone else is drawing suspect sketches, or jumping out of the van instead of telling Greg to turn the music off).

But I think it’s unrealistic to expect Garnet to be much more expressive than she is now, because she just isn’t that demonstrative and THAT is part of who she is. 

She’s a pressure cooker. She keeps things inside and she resolves them internally–which is probably partially a consequence of being a conversation. Sometimes, like a pressure cooker, she can explode, and you’re going to see her truth in those moments and in a few quiet moments when she chooses to tell a story. 

You’re not going to see the kinds of feelings and spoken desires you get from Steven, Amethyst, or Pearl (who all also have very different ways of expressing themselves, but at least tend to DO SO in more overt ways than Garnet does). If they kept journals: Steven would have a sketch diary and would make an effort to end even his sad entries on a happy note. Amethyst would make fun of everything and occasionally write an angry rant. Pearl would write sad poetry and shopping lists and occasional heartfelt observations. I think Garnet wouldn’t keep one. She doesn’t seem to feel comfortable with words taking her feelings up for her, and she guards what she feels closely. The fact that she doesn’t tell us things actually tells us things.

I don’t think it’s lazy writing or turning her into a one-note character to have Garnet frequently putting her life in context through the lens of Fusion. 

Fusion is the reason she exists and it is, to be quite literal, who and what she is. It was a radical act that she pioneered, and it must have been amazing to become someone who could define her own life instead of going along with her ingrained Ruby or Sapphire programming. Garnet was more an individual than either of them could have been at that time in their lives, even if that sounds like a contradiction. She’s still creating that person, and still conceiving it as a radical, beautiful act just to be herself. That’s why she’s so great.

I don’t want the show to stop exploring what that means to her, and what that means to everyone around her. I’m not tired of it. I think her character can find new things to talk about, sometimes incorporating information and experience surrounding fusion, and sometimes having it be irrelevant or tangential. But just like those of us who, for example, live with a marginalized sexual identity, something that fundamental to who you are and that different from most people you know always seems to come back into relevance, sometimes when you’re not even steering the conversation. 

I think some of you will know what I’m talking about when I say it does just always seem to come up, because it’s an interesting thing about you that people who aren’t like you can’t fully understand, and sometimes you want to tell everyone all the things and sometimes you just really want them to leave you alone. But it’s definitely part of your truth, and it’s something you want people to understand about you and accept about you, and you might feel a little like you’re lying if you haven’t told someone or you just let them think that important thing is not there. 

Garnet’s identity is a lot like that in some ways–there’s no “Jailbreak” episode where you come out once and then you don’t ever have to do it again. Garnet keeps having to demonstrate and identify what is different about her, and it continues to be very, very relevant in her life, affecting her relationships and the way she sees the world, how she looks, what her comfort with herself is, what abilities she has, what people think of her. It’s everything. And that fact doesn’t make her lesser, nor does it oversimplify her.

I don’t know what direction the writers will take us with Garnet, but I trust that it will be something I want to know. I find her really interesting and for many reasons very personally relatable. If there’s still more to hear about fusion from her, I want to hear it all. If there’s less related stuff, I want that too. 

Pearl’s been struggling toward defining herself separately from others, separately from her grief over Rose. She’s making progress. Amethyst’s been struggling toward building self-esteem and understanding her place in the world. She’s making progress. Some people say Garnet stopped being interesting once she threw out her big revelation in “Jailbreak” and then didn’t evolve from there. 

I want to know what show they’re watching. 

There’s been so much with her, and I’m not going to say she doesn’t struggle, but unlike the others, Garnet’s struggles aren’t about making peace with HERSELF. She probably did have that struggle when she was new, but she knows who she is now, and that she’d rather be herself than anything she was designed to be. When you have a stable self-identity and step onto that pedestal as a mentor, you can end up giving more than getting in these kinds of stories, but HER struggles seem to be with how much she can give to others without compromising herself. 

She’s not self-destructive like Amethyst was, or self-sacrificing like Pearl was. But she gets punished a lot for coming out of her shell, and I think her story is largely going to be about letting others in and dealing with what it means to reach out. Garnet does seem to want connection, and I mean that as an individual. She treasures her relationships with the others, and sometimes despite her being kind of a dork with words she honestly knows the right thing to say.

To sum up, if you think Garnet’s become a one-note character, I encourage you to listen for the subtler harmonies. She’s got a really interesting duality, both subtle and blunt, and I’m here for all of it–including when it seems to contradict itself. Who isn’t a contradiction sometimes? What she’s taught us about her identity is really complex and weirdly relatable for something so alien to humans. I think it deserves at least as much attention as it’s getting.

I still agree with the people who don’t want fusion to be the center of every story about her, but I think they’re wrong if they believe that’s how it is right now. Or rather, that it’s ALL she is, or that what they’re showing us is simple and uncomplicated enough to be unworthy of further exploration. It’s just that SHE is the center of every story about her, and she is a Fusion, so that affects everything she sees and does. 

We should expect it to.

Jensen Ackles at JIB8!

I rarely get involved when the fandom argues about something, but I’ve seen a lot of discussion on this part, and since I was actually there, I’ve got something to say.

First of all, Jensen is a grown man (they are all adults!) who is more than capable of making his own decisions and say no if there’s something he doesn’t wanna do. No one - and I repeat - NO ONE was forced to drink alcohol during this con. The stage contained a table with water bottles - and the actors chose for themselves whatever they liked to drink during the day.

Secondly, and most importantly, Jensen wasn’t drunk during his panel with Misha Sunday. I’d interacted with him several times during the day - at my J2 photo op session & at Jensen’s autograph session to mention a few. Both he and Jared were tired (the actors had been enjoying the evening in Rome Saturday) and were still a little jetlagged from their trip, but they were warm and kind and focused while interacting with their fans - as always! Jensen had gone through an emotional rollercoaster that day, having met a couple of ladies who worked the YANA crisis hotline, and it had hit him hard. As he said at the panel; the fans mean a shit-ton to him and the rest of the cast, and this was the first time he’d met some of the operators of the hotline in person. So at the panel, Jensen was vulnerable. In true Jensen fashion though, he probably tried to over-compensate for that by doing his best to make the panel light and make us laugh. However, Misha decided to bring up what had happened to Jensen during the day (with Jensen’s permission), and Jensen got emotional again talking about it.

This had nothing to do with alcohol. Jensen was completely on point! It saddens me that people are calling Jensen all sorts of things (saying he was drunk and forced to be it), when he chose to open up to us, and felt comfortable enough to do so. Compared to Jared, Jensen’s often more like a closed book. He doesn’t wear his feelings on his sleeve. But during the years, he’s opened himself up to his fans, and part of this (Jensen mentioned a few years back) is because he became a father.

Jensen has said that the JIB con is his favorite con, and I think a part of this is because he and Jared get to be around the rest of the actors for multiple days (compared to Creation cons where they’re only there on the last day) and because the organizer really looks out for them and spoils them shitless. Some years back, there had been some issues at Creation cons with Ty Olsson who’d said/done some things under the influence of alcohol that had been inappropriate. Ty was then invited to JIB con, and the organizer made sure he didn’t drink too much, so there wouldn’t be any trouble. She looked after him and she looked after us, the fans.

So, back to Jensen. IF there had ever been a single doubt whether or not the actors could control their alcohol consumption and/or do their job properly, I’m more than sure the organizer would have prevented it. However, Jensen is professional. He knows how to do his job. And he wasn’t drunk. Do not belittle his emotions by blaming it on alcohol! That’s disrespectful to a guy who embraces his fans and loves them as much as he does!

J2 are in general more touchy feely when they’re at this con - especially with each other. Jared has had several misfortunes around JIB time. Two years ago, we nearly lost him, and Jensen knows this. They’re best friends, they’re brothers - they look out for each other when they’re so far away from their families. Jared has often been the one to be open about his feelings. This time it was Jensen’s turn - and Jared was there for him.

The panel was not uncomfortable in the slightest. It was a precious moment that brought tears to my eyes, and I will not sit back and allow people (especially people who weren’t even there!) to take that moment away from me or - more importantly - to take that moment away from Jensen! So can we please drop all the alcohol talk, and just love the man for being honest with us and for loving us so much in return? Thanks!

embersf93  asked:

Papyrus was gonna get possessed? Now I'm really curious how that would have turned out. (Unless you've explained this already and I didn't see it)

Problem was that I realized that Chara saw Papyrus as being weak, so they would not have chosen to take his body when Sans was there. Sans is the only one they never actually killed, so they saw him as powerful and also wanted to take revenge for the bad time he gave them. They were unaware of his 1 HP until later.

Also… Papyrus would have been too positive and resilient to be held in possession for very long. Sans could be kept under Chara’s control because Chara could exploit his guilt and hopelessness to keep him shackled. Papyrus’ stubborn optimism would have prevented Chara from doing much of anything.

-TQ

@msoriginaljester

  • Erik wants to adopt. 
  • Nicky is ecstatic, he loves kids, he knows Erik does too, and he know Erik would be a great dad 
  • But Nicky isn’t so sure of himself 
  • He thinks back to how he took care of the twins for however long he did
  • He thinks to how cold and bitter they both are 
  • He thinks how they’re both in therapy 
  • Not bc of him, no - but some things Nicky knows he could have prevented 
  • He thinks how much better off they could have been if he were a better guardian 
  • If they had someone else 
  • Not him. 
  • He thinks, if he were to ever have a kid, how good of a dad could he be?
  • How bad he could be at parenting a child 
  • How unfit he is to parent a child.  
  • He doesn’t tell Erik, he can’t disappoint him like that, he won’t. 
  • He’ll - he’ll read parenting books and take courses and he’ll learn…
  • (…but isn’t that what he said he’d do for the twins?)
  • Nicky’s not gonna go to Erik, he can’t go to the twins, Matt and he weren’t that close, Kevin would probably be busy…so he calls Neil. 
  • Neil doesn’t pick up 
  • Nicky calls again, it goes to voicemail, again 
  • But Nicky just…Nicky just needs to get the words out
  • So he leaves a voicemail 
  • He tells Neil everything he won’t tell Erik, what he can’t say to the twins 
  • He tells Neil how Erik wants to adopt and how much he loves him, but how utterly terrified he is of the prospect of fucking up another child and how he can’t do that how he never wants to have to live with the feeling of not being good enough again how he - how he can’t. 
  • And it’s maybe an hour later, Neil and Andrew are driving home after a movie, Neil notices he has a couple missed calls, he sees the voicemail, he plays it on speaker, bc it’s just Nicky. It’s just Andrew. 
  • Neil goes to close it as soon as he gets the gist of what Nicky’s saying, but Andrew takes his eyes off the road to shoot a glare at Neil
  • Neil purses his lips and complies
  • They listen to their Nicky, the Nicky that’s always happy and cheerful and okay, break down over the phone over a matter not at all light-hearted 
  • The voicemail ends and the rest of the drive is spent in silence, both of them lost in thought 
  • It’s later that night that Andrew gets up out of bed and takes a cigarette and his phone out to their balcony 
  • Neil’s still awake, but he doesn’t stop Andrew. 
  • It’s a short conversation 
  • Nicky picks up, wary and confused as to why Andrew was calling him, but he wouldn’t miss a call from his twins for anything 
  • Neil can’t hear anything through the closed doors, but he’s ok with that 
  • “Andrew?” 
    “Don’t fucking blame yourself, dumbass.” 
    “I - what?” 
    Andrew breathes for a second, “It wasn’t your fault.”
    Nicky’s lip trembles but he bites it and doesn’t say anything. 
    Andrew takes a drag, when Nicky isn’t forthcoming, “You’ll be a great dad. Me and Aaron weren’t your fault. Stop it.” 
    Nicky gulps, his nose burning, “I - yeah.” 
    “Go talk to your husband.” Andrew says it dismissively, but keeps the phone to his ear. 
    Nicky hears the dismissal, he knows how Andrew snaps his phone shut as soon as he has the last word. That doesn’t stop Nicky from whispering a shaky, “Thank you.” on his end, even though he knew Andrew wouldn’t hear, before hanging up. 
    Andrew nods to himself, gently closes his phone, and takes another drag. 
Bellamy Blake Imagine: Worth Surviving

Requested

Summary: Reader gets captured by Reapers after a fight with Bellamy. He goes into Mount Weather thinking she is there, but once they free the others, he realises she’s not there. After two days they go back for supplies and they find reader in a room where Reapers were kept. At first they think she’s dead but then it turns out she’s still breathing. Back at the camp she wakes up just to hear some nice words from Bellamy.

Word Count: 2958

A/N: This request was great, but I am not really confident about how it turned out. Sorry if this is as shitty as I think it is.


Originally posted by bellarke

Y/N’s POV
Every inch of my body was hurting like hell, but I knew that it wouldn’t prevent me from falling unconscious. The truth was that I didn’t even know if I wanted to stay awake, because I was afraid of what was going to happen with me.

Keep reading

Battling Insecurity

The biggest demon of most musicians is a feeling of insecurity. It’s the creeping (or blatant) suspicion that you are literally the worst musician in the world — or at least nowhere near as good as you “should” be. It can also manifest as the idea that you’re going to: get laughed at by your peers, be a complete failure at everything you ever attempt, be revealed as a fraud, find out everyone is just humoring you, find out that your doubters were right, end up completely destitute and have to live in a cave, or possibly just spontaneously die the next time you have to perform. It turns out that all of these worries are 99.999% of the time completely baseless. No, you are not that 0.001 percent case where these thoughts are accurate. Bassoonist Georg, who has never actually touched a bassoon and likes living in caves, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

The thing is that everyone feels like this, at least sometimes. I myself have, at the time of writing, complained at two different people a total of four times in the past week that I am going to end up living in a cave in the North Woods because no one will ever want to pay me for anything because I Suck. This is objectively not true. (You bought this book after all.) It may be a cliche, but there is a lot of truth to the thought that we are our own worst critics. There is no one else out there who knows your musical intent. If your trill doesn’t sound the way it did in your head, you are the only person who knows. Everyone else will think approximately this: “Hey, that was a trill. Cool.” If they’re especially persnickety, they might add “That was a little (better/worse) than when (you/someone else) sang a similar trill.” I don’t think there is a person out there who specifically goes to listen to a performance and thinks “This is awful and this performer is awful,” because most people are very nice. You are the only person there who thinks that you suck.

There are ways to battle insecurity, of course. Every performer develops a set of techniques to reaffirm their own self-worth, to calm themselves down, and essentially talk themselves down from the tree their anxiety has them hiding up. However, trial and error can take a long time, and you are going to need your self-esteem shored up a lot in the next year. With that in mind, here are suggestions from performers in college and beyond for how to manage insecurity.
Focus on things you’ve improved in the past year. When you start to worry about how obviously you’re no good and no one will ever want to listen to you etc. etc. etc., take a deep breath, then list three things you’ve improved in your playing in the past year. You have definitely improved at LEAST three, if not eight or nine aspects of your playing. Be as broad or as specific as you wish. This is about you acknowledging that you have grown and gotten better, so you choose the things on which to focus.
Listen to old recordings of yourself. If you absolutely CANNOT think of a SINGLE THING you’ve improved on in the past year (really? Not even your ability to play a single piece?), then go and listen to recordings of yourself from years ago. Find something you performed in when you were a freshman in high school (or, if you’re a freshman, see if you can find stuff from elementary school!). Go and listen to it, as critically as you can. It will probably make you cringe. That’s a good thing. Know why?
It’s because it shows you how much you’ve grown since then. If you fast-forward ten years from now, as long as you have kept playing, I can guarantee that future-you will listen to recordings of current-you with that same kinda cringey feeling. Because, in ten years, you will have improved so much that your current playing will be unrecognizable. And you will be proud.
Remember that the goal is improvement, not perfection. Music is not a race. Music is not a competition. Music is an art for self-fulfillment and self-expression. Perfection is impossible. Being “the best” is also impossible - there are seven billion people on Earth (and six in space (I checked!)). There’s always going to be someone out there who has practiced a little longer, or harder, or started earlier, or whose fingers are just a little closer to the perfect shape for your instrument. Your goal, then, should be to improve your own self - no comparisons to others, nothing like that.
Remember everyone comes from a different background. That person who sits to you in your ensemble, the one you’re envious of? You can’t know everything about their life. Maybe their parents started them on their instrument at age three. Maybe they haven’t gone out on the weekend in a year and a half because they practice then, or because they work to make up for not working during their practice time during the week. They could have a buttload of debt because of outside lessons. There’s no way to know what advantages or tradeoffs they’ve had to get where they are.
Once you’re at a certain point in life, there’s no way to add something to your life without sacrificing something else that you also like. If someone else practices X amount hours more a week then you do, then they spend X amount less doing something valuable to you - work, sleep, other homework, socializing, recharging, etc. They may simply have different priorities than you, and that’s okay.
Shut down the voice that compares people. Comparing yourself to someone else does nothing for you. Really. Unless you’re actively studying someone’s technique for educational purposes, comparing yourself to that 5th year senior, or that incredible freshman, does nothing for you. When you notice yourself doing the comparison thing, just shut it off. Practice rebuffing that voice.
“Sarah plays really well, yes. When I’ve played as long as she as, I’ll be better than I am now, too!”

Or!

“That freshman plays really well - I’m glad they had the opportunities they did.”

If all else fails, just look at these other people as motivation. Aspire to be as good as them, and use that to fuel your own practice. Just don’t let it spiral into beating yourself up. You’re worth more than that.
Directors have a vision. If you don’t match that vision, it’s not a personal failing.This is specifically in regards to auditions or chair seatings. Every musician has a different style and different technical abilities, and that’s okay. Sometimes your skill in a certain area may be amazing, but your tone just doesn’t match the rest of an ensemble. Or your sight-reading is great, but the director prefers someone else’s musical interpretation. That’s okay. There are ensembles where sight-reading is super important, and where your tone matches perfectly. You just have to find them, and you will eventually.
Make sure to take care of yourself. You can’t practice as efficiently if you’re sick. You can’t improve as much when you’re always exhausted. Trust me - due to an immune system that works about as well as a mall cop, I’ve spent on average eight weeks a school year feeling absolutely gross. I had to take an incomplete with my private teacher the first semester of my senior year of college, because I was so ill I could barely phonate (mono is a big ball of suck).
I’ve been better overall, however, since I started scheduling my sleep and food and socialization times. My calendar has nine hours of sleep scheduled in every night, I have phone calls and coffee dates with my best friends penciled in every week, and food is as regular as clockwork. Why? Because it prevents that nauseous, exhausted feeling of sleepwalking through a ten hour day. Hard days still happen, of course. However, I don’t spend nearly as much time cajoling myself to just keep putting one foot in front of the other anymore. Instead, I’m awake, engaged, and able to complain about things other than how tired I am. Progress!
Read up on Impostor Syndrome. Impostor Syndrome is when your brain’s resident jerkwad is constantly suggesting everyone you know is about to find out you’re a fraud. Who cares about any auditions you’ve successfully done. Who cares how good a grade you got last week. The jerkwad yells that you’re faking everything you’ve ever done, and people are going to figure that out, and then you’re going to end up living under a bridge and charging people tolls to cross it, and then they’ll figure out you aren’t even really a troll, and then you’re going to have join me in the cave in the North Woods and eat beetles and moss.
That jerkwad is a liar. Even I haven’t ended up in the North Woods yet, and I’m pretty sure I should list “Can BS Real Well” on my resume under Skills. You are a real musician - after all, you play music! That’s it. That’s all that’s required to call yourself a musician. I promise.

Quiet; Prologue

Fandom: WWE

Pairing: Baron Corbin/Female Reader

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Happy Thirst Party Saturday, everyone! Been working on this prologue for a little bit. Tagging our usual suspects, @tox-moxley, @oraclegazes, @hardcorewwetrash and @writergrrrl29. Enjoy!


Keep reading

i can still see the sun [james potter]

second enstallment of i can feel the darkness coming

wanrings: Movie spoilers, language, death,

word count: 5730

italics= flashback 


One hundred and twenty-two thousand, six hundred and forty hours.

Five thousand, one hundred and ten days.

    Seven hundred and thirty weeks.

One hundred and sixty eight months.

Fourteen years.

    Fourteen years since you had last seen James and Lily after their demise.

    Fourteen years since you had last seen Sirius after he had been sent to Azkaban.

    Fourteen years since you had last seen Hogwarts.

    Now, you were stepping through the large, double doors, walking through the hallways with various memories washing over you. Turning your head from side to side, you reveled in the pure happiness of being back at the school. It had been so long since you had walked these pathways and marveled at the moving portraits. You were walking besides Remus, the both of you had acquired jobs at the school; both of you knowing that it would help you keep a closer eye on a certain chosen one. You also felt as though you owed yourself some kind of closure from James’ death, and what better place to find closure than the place you had last seen him?

    You and Remus stepped through the threshold of your new classroom, scanning the empty room for an idea of how you wanted to set things up. Placing your bags down on a chair by the door, you turned back to look at your old friend Remus.

    “Been awhile, eh?” You questioned.

    Remus chuckled under his breath before smiling softly, “Yes, yes it has.”

    You slowly turned in a circle to admire your surroundings as Remus watched. He admired the way that you smiled, knowing how long it had been since you had last let a smile grace your features. A sharp pang filtered through his heart at the thoughts, but Remus just pushed them aside and distracted himself with talking to you.

    “Do you remember the time that you and Sirius changed Peter’s quill into a rat’s tail in the middle of class during our fourth year?” Remus questioned with a fond smile on his face.

    By this point you had stopped spinning and instead turned to face Remus with a giggle escaping your lips, “Yes! That was bloody hilarious!”

    You turned to face the corner of the room, and recalled another memory, “Or the time that we made you go sit in the one chair that was in the corner because we turned it into mud.”

    Remus laughed and fell back against one of the other chairs in the room. His chest was rising and falling with every breath he took, joyous laughter escaping his lips, “I remember that! I was so mad because you and James pretended like you didn’t know how it happened!”

    You let yourself fall into the chair besides Remus and giggled once again, “James and I were brilliant actors, if I may say so myself.”

    “Brillant? You kept that bloody secret from me for two months!” Remus yelped. His eyebrows were raised in a hilarious expression of false betrayal, but his lips failed in keeping a smile off of his face.

His statement only caused you to laugh even harder, your ribs beginning to hurt with each intake of air.

Eventually, the two of you managed to calm your laughter and you both laid back to look up at the ceiling. The mood seemed much more lonesome and quiet after your fit of giggles. Intent on making the situation less sad, you spoke, “It feels weird, doesn’t it? Being here without James and Sirius- even Peter?”

Remus looked over at you with a sad smile gracing his lips, “Yeah, I guess it does. It’s definitely a lot quieter than it used to be.”

With a far away look in your eye, you turned your body to face the window across the room. You sighed when thoughts of your former best friends filled your mind. Letting out a sigh as a tear slowly dripped from the corner of your eye and onto your legs that were curled beneath you. The thought of James being killed without knowing that you forgave him, or the thought of leaving Sirius without talking to him haunted you. Knowing that you would never see either of them again after you had left them so abruptly was a horrid feeling.

It left you swamped with remorse and guilt.

Remus, sensing your thoughts, stood from his chair before moving swiftly to the foot of yours. He kneeled so that his head was level with your lowered one, before he grabbed your chin between two fingers and gently forced you to meet his eyes. His face held an unmeasurable amount of sympathy; the kind that you would only see on someone who had known you for a very long time.

Remus spoke to you gently, knowing that anything else would only cause the hole in your heart to be ripped open even wider.

“Hey,” he spoke, gently grasping one of your cheeks with his palm, “None of that- no crying. I know that you are upset about what happened, but this is not what they would have wanted. If James and Sirius were here they would tell you to that you should not be crying over them. They’d want you to be happy again, and Merlin knows that I have not seen you smile in so long. You have to know that they would not want you to be sad; those boys loved you more than anything in this world and if they were here right now, I know they would be telling you the exact same thing.”

By the end of Remus’ speech, the tears that had been previously soaking your face were now running down your cheeks like a ceaseless waterfall. The clear, salty drops littered your lap like rain did to the cement of the sidewalk before a storm. You were sniffing and huffing, both happy and sad about the words that had emitted from Remus’ mouth. Reaching forward, you clutched onto Remus as if he were your lifeline. The man clung to you just as tightly, both of you mourning your fallen and imprisoned friends one more time.

From the heavens, James Potter watched you hug James with a sad smile on his face. He watched as you cried over his demise with a heavy heart full of guilt and sadness. James regretted ever yelling at you that day in the bathroom. He regretted every word he had ever spoken to you that had hurt you. He regretted these things because the moment you left him, he realized how he truly felt. He was never in love with Lily, he was in love with you and he just refused to believe it. He refused to believe that he had fallen in love with one of his closest friends, so he covered it by believing that he was in love with another women. After you left him, he continued to stay with Lily, even if he was not love her as he loved you. When Harry was born, James knew his fate. He knew that he was to die, but his biggest regret was that he never told you that he loved you.


A few days after you were situated at Hogwarts, you were informed that Sirius Black had escaped Azkaban. Since you were in public and surrounded by other witches and wizards, you had to keep our excitement and relief to yourself.

You had known from the beginning that it was not Sirius who had revealed where James and Lily were hiding. No matter how mad Sirius was, he would have never ratted one of his best friends out to the Dark Lord. Because of this, you were led to believe that there was only one person that could have revealed that information to you-know-who: Peter Pettigrew.

Peter was the only other person besides Sirius and Remus to know where James and Lily were hiding, and there was absolutely no way that Moony or Padfoot would do such a thing. That left Wormtail.

Of course, you had always known something was a bit off with Peter; he was always secretive and nervous around the rest of the Marauders. After a certain point, you had stopped trusting him and planned to stay away because you were absolutely sure that something was up with him, and it was not something good.

Back in the present, you were standing besides Harry Potter as he explained the events that had occurred. You had met Harry on the train to Hogwarts, as you were staying in the same compartment as Remus when Harry and his friends walked in. When the train had mysteriously stopped and a Dementor made its way into the compartment, you’re Patronus had been the one to save Harry. Remus had later introduced himself and you as friends, not explaining who either of you really were to Harry. From then on, Harry had come to you and Remus for help on learning how to cast his own Patronus. It was a stag, just like his father. When you had seen the charm, you had left the room with tears in your eyes; leaving Harry to wonder what he had done wrong. Remus had gently told him that it was not Harry’s fault, he just reminded you of someone you had once known.

Being around Harry had served quite difficult in the beginning, seeing as he looked and acted so much like his father. Every time Harry was around you, you had to take a few deep breaths to prevent yourself from bursting into tears. You had eventually gotten over it, realizing that there was nothing you could do to bring James back, so you stopped imagining James when Harry was around. Instead you believed that James was somewhere above, watching as you helped take care of his son.

And James was watching from above, a permanent, radiant smile planted on his face as he observed how good you were with Harry. It made him wonder how life would have been if Harry had been your child instead of Lily’s.

While Harry explained what happened between Sirius escaping and the experience in the Shrieking Shack, he finally told you where Sirius was. Seconds after the words escaped Harry’s mouth, you were bolting away from the school. Taking off in the direction of the Whomping Willow, you scurried into the secret passage way and raced towards the Shrieking Shack. Harry had told you Sirius would not stay long because he was being hunted, so you pushed yourself to run faster.

When you reached the entrance to the shack, you pushed it open with strength you did not even know you had.

And standing in the middle of the room, was an old friend.

Sirius Black.

For a few moments, you had just stood at the entrance of the room, watching Sirius as he tried to contain a laugh.

“Well, hello Talon,” Sirius spoke, “Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to give an old friend a hug?”

Then you were running, launching yourself at Sirius and tackling him with a bone crushing hug. Sirius chuckled and squeezed you back just as hard. Both of you were crying tears of joy, happy that three of the five Marauders were still alive. Sirius had his face buried in your neck and you had your fingers buried in his long hair that had grown out while in prison. You felt a few tears dribble down your collarbone because of Sirius, but you did not care because Sirius’ shirt probably had a few of its own tears to worry about.

When you pulled away, you smiled through your tears, “I missed you so much, Padfoot.”

Sirius smiled happily, “And I missed you too, Talon.” He then pulled you back into another hug and mumbled something about hexing you if you ever decided to leave him and the others again.

For the next few hours, you and Sirius were constantly near each other. Having spent almost fifteen years apart led to the two of you needing some time to catch up. Sirius told you about James making him Harry’s Godfather, and you told him about the adventures you and Remus had taken after being reunited.

Later in the evening, Harry and Remus had gone to the Shrieking Shack to find you, seeing as it had been many hours since they had seen you. When they arrived, they found you and Sirius propped up against the window, talking and laughing about the old days.

Turning your head, you motioned for Remus to join the two of you, and he did. Harry watched from the sides as three of the five Marauders were happy once again, a sight that he did not get to see very often.


    After that day, you, Remus and Sirius joined the Order of the Phoenix. The three of you fled Hogwarts in fear of being found by the Dark Lord and took refuge in 12 Grimmauld Place, Sirius’ old home.

    A few weeks later, Harry was transported there to speak with the Order. You and Sirius had welcomed him, both receiving joyous hugs by Harry Potter himself. You and Harry had formed quite a close bond over the few months you had known him; you had practically become his mother figure.

    Now, Harry stood next to Sirius, admiring the pictures that Sirius had tacked up on his walls. They were old and wrinkle, but they obviously meant a lot to Sirius as they were the only photographs he had left of the original Marauders.

    Harry was walking around and looking closely at each picture before he got to one that confused him. It was a photograph of what looked like his dad standing next to you. He was behind you, his arms wrapped around your waist, both of you sporting giant smiles. It was something he never expected to see from you, a smile. He did not see them on you very often. A smile on you was like seeing Hagrid’s dog Fang, not cowardly.

    When Harry turned to question Sirius about the picture, a far away look appeared in his eyes; a clear sign that Sirius was remembering something from a long time ago.

    It was Christmas time; your favorite time of the year.

    You and the rest of the Marauders had decided to spend the holiday at Hogwarts as a present for Sirius. You all knew how much he hated his family, so you wanted to keep him company and he could have a happy holiday for once in his life.

    On Christmas morning, you had all gathered to open presents. After opening a few of them, you discovered that one of your muggle family members had sent you an old polaroid camera. The boys obviously had no idea what it was, but you had explained it to them. They had immediately wanted to take pictures together so you all rushed to put on thicker clothing. After doing so, the five of you hurried outside into the cold snow.

    The scenery was beautiful; the pristine, white snow falling down in sheets of cool snowflakes. You took a few moments to turn around in circles, just admiring the beauty of nature. When you heard the flash of a camera, you turned to face Sirius, who held your camera in his hands. He grinned happily as the picture came out; you turning in circles with a smile on your face. He pocketed the picture quickly, smiling as you whined.

    “I’m going to need something to remember you by when Remus finally decides to kill you for pranking him so much!” Sirius joked.

    You had giggled and nudged his shoulder, laughing when he almost fell into a pile of snow.

    The rest of the afternoon was spent playing in the snow and taking muggle photographs of each other. By the end of the day, you were exhausted, huffing and puffing breaths of cold air as you tried to catch your breath.

    As you tried to walk back towards the castle, you were grabbed from behind, the person dragging you into their arms.

    “You’re not going anywhere!” James shouted as he wrapped you in his arms. You giggled as you tried to escape, but James was to strong. You heard the shutter of the camera going off again, but you ignored it and instead continued to wrestle with James until the two of you got too tired.

    Later that evening, you found a picture placed on your bed. It was of earlier that evening, you and James playing in the snow with large smiles on your faces. You picked up the picture with a fond smile on your face before you placed it on your bedside table, content with how the day had turned out.

    Sirius shook his head with a laugh as he remembered the day. Harry turned to see Sirius smiling, so Harry turned back to the picture before speaking again, “Is that my dad?”

    Sirius nodded and told Harry that the girl in the photo was you. When Harry heard the words he was shocked; he thought that you were just a friend of Remus and Sirius, he had not know that you knew his father.

    “She knew my dad?” Harry questioned, confusion evident on his face.

    Sirius chuckled once again before responding, “Yes she did.”

“Who is she?” Harry asked, “I knew she was a friend of your’s and Remus’ but I did not know she knew my dad.”

    “Harry, my boy. That women knew your father before I did; she was the second Marauder. Her name was Talon because she was an animagus too. She could morph into an eagle; it was a magnificent sight to see,” Sirius spoke, memories resurfacing with each word.

    “So she was important to you and my dad?”

    “Yes, she was very important to us. In fact, she was- is- in love with your father. Always was, she could never stay too far away from him. They were practically inseparable for the longest time,” Sirius reminisce.

    “She was in love with my dad?” Harry pondered, “Did he love her back?”

    “Yes, yes he did.”

After the conversation, Sirius left the room to find you. Looking back at the wall, Harry pulled the picture from it’s spot and tucked it into his pocket, just to remember the man who was his father, and the women who should have been  his mother.


    Harry and the rest of his friends landed on their stomachs in the Department of Mysteries, the Prophecy shining brightly in Harry’s hands. He stands, along with the rest of his friends, his ears twitching when he hears the sound of whispering. When he turns, he is met with an archway, what looks like smoke is filtering inside of it. Harry takes a step closer to it, his gaze inquisitive.

    He can hear his friends speaking to him, but Harry continues to stare at the archway. He feels as though something bad was about to happen, and it had to do with the mysterious archway in the center of the room.

    Seconds later, Harry turns and shouts for his friends to get behind him, knowing the Death Eaters were about to arrive. Harry’s suspicions were confirmed when black smoke appeared from around him. It swirls around him, and Harry shuts his eyes, his hand gripping the Prophecy tightly.

    When the black smoke disappears, Harry opens his eyes to find that his friends are no longer beside him. Instead they have been grabbed, each of them being restrained by a Death Eater, wands pointed at their throats.

    Harry’s heart clenches as he worries about what is to come.

    From behind him, Harry hears a malicious chuckle, and he instantly knows the culprit.

    Lucius Malfoy.

    Harry turns to see Malfoy approaching, an evil glint in his eye. The platinum blonde male smirks as he knows that he was going to get the Prophecy from Harry.

“Did you really believe, or were you truly naive enough to think that you stood a chance against us?” Malfoy spits, his voice low and threatening. He takes a step closer to Harry, turning and pulling his palm up and open, “I’ll make this simple for you, Potter. Give me the Prophecy; or watch your friends die.”

Harry is silent for a few moments, pondering his next move. His gaze moves to Hermione, who struggles in the grip of the Death Eater behind her. The Death Eater is strong, however, and he continues to restrain the curly haired girl by holding onto the collar of her shirt, causing her to choke on the lack of air.

From next to Hermione, Neville Longbottom shouts out, “Don’t give it to him, Harry!”

He is silenced by Bellatrix Lestrange, who pulls on his shirt, closing the distance between his neck and her wand. Neville instantly quiets down, fearing his life.

Believing it was worse than watching his friends die, Harry hands over the Prophecy. The shining orb is placed into the hands of Lucius Malfoy, who grins in such a manner that shivers run down Harry’s spine.

Seconds after the orb is placed in Malfoy’s hands, a bright light appears from behind the blonde’s back.

“Get away from my Godson,” Sirius spits, before he reels his fist back and punches Malfoy straight in the nose.

The punch knocks Malfoy off of his feet, and he lands on the floor beneath him, the Prophecy falling from his hands and breaking against the hard rock. Malfoy stares at the broken orb for a few moments before he stands to face Harry and Sirius.

Before he can even utter a spell, he is knocked off his feet as you fire a spell in his direction. Smirking, you turn to face Sirius and Harry who are muttering quietly. Harry turns to you and you nod your head in a way that says both ‘hello’ and ‘please be careful.’ Harry nods back, his indicating the same words yours did before the three of you and turning to face Malfoy and two other Death Eaters who decided to join the party.

The rest of the Order had appeared by this point, and you scanned the room, quickly locking eyes with Remus and Tonks. You smiled at them and then responded with the same small smile before you both turned to face your opponents.

Dropping into a battle stance, you pulled your wand up so it was ready to defend against any spells fire your way. When Malfoy fired a curse at you, you brought your wand up to cover your face, blocking the curse. You fired back an immobilization charm, aiming not to kill because you did not want that kind of guilt on your conscious.

Curses, charms and spells were being fired back and forth before Harry managed to knock the wand out of the hand of the Death Eater he was fighting.

Expelliarmus,” Harry had shouted. The Death Eater fell back, falling off a ledge to the fight below, and you felt relief filling you as you knew that you would not have to deal with that Death Eater again.

From beside you, you heard Sirius shout out, “Nice one, James!”

At the mention of the name, you froze, losing the ability to focus. Harry had too, hearing the name of his father rendering him useless. The two of you simply stood and watched Sirius as he fired a spell at Malfoy, whose wand was knocked away before he flew back off the ledge.

Before you could do anything to protect yourself or Sirius, you heard two simple words being shouted from behind you, “Avada kedavra!”

The words came from the mouth of Bellatrix Lestrange, who had thrown her wand out at both you and Sirius.

You were unable to protect yourself from the killing curse as it hit your body, filling you with unimaginable pain. Screaming out, you closed your eyes before you heard the same curse being shouted. You heard Sirius’ cry of pain before the both of you were knocked back.

Harry watched with his eyes wide as you and Sirius were knocked into the archway that was beside them as they battled. Knowing what was to happen to you, you locked eyes with Harry and mouthed ‘goodbye.’

Harry’s eyes widened even more before he shifted his eyes to Sirius, watching for a few blissful moments.

Then the smoke in the archway turned and carried you and Sirius off into the unknown.

Harry stood silently for a few moments, his eyes locked on the arch in front of him, praying that you and Sirius would come back. He was hoping and praying with all his might that the mist in front of him did not just take part of the only family he had left.

When nothing happened, Harry made to take a step forward, his heart clenching in his chest. From behind, Remus quickly clutched Harry. He restrained the saddened boy with tears in his eyes. Harry struggled harshly, trying to find a way to escape and get to you and Sirius. Crying out in pain, Harry fell back into Remus. You and Sirius had become his only family. Sirius was like a father to him, and you, like a mother.

From behind Harry, Remus watched in shock as his last two friends perished. He watched as the last two people he could resort to, vanished. Remus cried out in pain of his own. The only people he ever trusted and loved were gone. He let a few tears fall from his eyes as he watched Harry cry out. Remus let out a strangled sob as he thought about how he was going to get through full moons. He would never be able to do it without you. You and Sirius were his best friends, the only people he had known for more then twenty years. His last two Marauders; his Padfoot and his Talon, were gone. Forever.

Harry continued to struggle and cry, tears escaping his eyes.

He cried for Sirius.

He cried for you.

He cried for Remus who had lost you both.

He cried for Tonks who had been one of your greatest friends.

He cried for everyone who had ever known you.


    From the Heavens, James Potter watched as you appeared next to Harry and Sirius. He smirked as he watched you throw Lucius to the ground, knowing you had never liked the man.

    “That’s my girl,” James muttered.

    He watched on as you made sure Harry was safe before going back to battling. His heart skipped a beat as he watched you treat his son with such care and gentleness.

    James watched with his heart in his stomach as you got distracted by his name. He pleaded for you to turn around and prepare for what was to come.

    “Talon, Talon please turn around. Talon, please,” He practically shouted.

    But you could not hear him.

    Of course you couldn’t.

    James cried out when Bellatrix Lestrange fired a killing curse at you. He cried out in pain as he watched you gravel in pain. James shouted out in rage as Sirius was hit with the same curse.

    James Potter let out a sob as you told his son goodbye.

    He cried as you fell back into the archway.

    He cried as Sirius Black followed immediately after.

    He cried as you disappeared from his view.

    Standing up from his previous kneeling position and took off running. He knew exactly where you would appear. He knew exactly where and he needed to get there before you did.

    Pushing his legs to move faster, he gained speed. His breath was choppy as he realized that he would finally see you again after so long. James’ chest tightened as he thought of you, and he moved faster.

    When he reached the position he wanted to be in, he skidded to a stop just as a bright light appeared from in front of him. He raised a hand to shield his eyes from the light, squinting his eyes. He waited for a few tense seconds before the light finally vanished.

    In its absence, it was replaced by a figure.

    It was a women.

    It was the women he loved.

    His heart fell from his chest and his eyes widened. The tears that had previously slowed to a stop arose once again. They began to fall from his eyes as he let out a sob. It was not one of sadness, nor was it one of grief. It was one of joy, one of relief.

    James took a step forward, his legs shaky and barely able to hold himself up.

    When your eyes finally focused, you were able to make out the figure in front of you.

    It was a man.

    It was the man you loved.

    Letting a tear fall from your eyes, you let out a sob. A sob of happiness.

    “James?” You managed to croak out through your tears.

    James nodded softly through his own tears and you let out another sob at his answer.

    After so long, you were finally seeing him again.

    Kicking off, you ran at full speed. You stretched your arms, James doing the same thing before you reached him. When you reached him, you jumped, throwing yourself at his body. James caught you with open arms, sobbing into your neck. He wrapped his arms around your waist, supporting your weight as you wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. You cried out in happiness and buried your face in his fluffy, brown hair. James grasped you with strength that he did not know he had, you squeezing him back just as hard. Managing a smile through your tears, you pulled a hand through James’ hair. He sniffled against your neck, tears soaking the material of your shirt.

    Pulling back, you looked down at James once before you brought your lips down to connect with his. James smiled into the kiss, both of your lips tasting slightly salty from the tears leaking from your eyes. Your lips moved furiously against his, and James responded with just as much enthusiasm. He was finally kissing the one girl that he had been in love with for so long. Finally. James pushed his lips harder against yours and slipped his tongue into your mouth. You smiled even harder (if it was even possible) and kissed him back.

    Pulling away for a few seconds you mumbled out the words, “I love you, Prongs.”

    “I love you too, Talon.”

    And then James is kissing you once again.

    The moment is interrupted when a familiar voice calls out, “Hey losers! Stop bloody snogging and come hug me!”

    Turning, the two of you embrace Sirius in a hug, finally together once more.


    Harry Potter approaches the clearing with a heavy heart.

    He knows that if he goes any further, he is to die. But since he knew he would come back and it was to destroy Voldemort, he knew it had to be done.

    Holding up the Golden Snitch, the words I open at the close, appearing.

    Harry nods and confronts his fate, “I’m ready to die.”

    He brings the Snitch up to his mouth and kisses the golden casing. His eyes are closed, but when he opens them, he discovers that the Snitch is opening to reveal the Resurrection Stone.

    The one thing he needs to bring him back to life.

    He stares down at the small stone in amazement, his breath coming out in a small gasp. It levitates into the air and Harry gently opens his palm and allows it to fall into his hand. He closes his palm around it, his eyes still focused on his hand. He closes his eyes and imagines exactly who he wants to see in that moment, and when he opens them, he is met with exactly who he wanted to see.

    Remus, Sirius, James, and you.

    The four of you surround him, small smiles of happiness on your faces.

    When Harry turns to see you, he is met with a radiant smile as you cling to his father who is beside you. Harry smiles in joy when he sees that you have finally gotten what you wanted in life, his father.

    He approached you and James and reached out, you doing the same thing. When Harry’s hand disappears through yours, he sighs in disappointment.

    “You’ve been so brave, Harry,” You whisper, “I’ve missed you since I left.”

    Harry smiles softly before questioning, “Why are you here? All of you?”

    “We never left.”

    Harry turns to face Sirius before speaking, “Does it hurt? Dying?”

    Sirius shakes his head, “Quicker than falling asleep.”

    Harry nods before James speaks, “You’re nearly there, son”

    “I’m sorry; I never wanted any of you to die. And Remus- your son-” Harry tries.

    Remus cuts him off, “Others will tell him what his mother and father died for. One day, he’ll understand.”

    Harry nods softly before facing you and James, small smile still on your faces.

    “You’ll stay with me?” Harry questions.

    “Until the end.”

    He was ready. He was ready to join his family again.    

I’m rereading the His Dark Materials trilogy at the moment, and I’m only halfway through the first book, but rereading this series is such a different experience and not just because of the nostalgia. 

I don’t know how to explain the immense sense of tragedy that pervades it. Like, I have so much love for this series, but thinking about the actual narrative, watching the events build up and the characters be introduced and knowing that so much of it could have been prevented (although I do wonder how much of it really could have). 

For example, right now i’m on page 188 of Northern Lights. Lyra and John Faa are talking to Serafina’s familiar, Kaisa, for the first time, and most of the discussion is about Dust and the Northern Lights:

“ ‘They think he [Lord Asriel] intends to use Dust in some way in order to make a bridge between this world and the world beyond the Aurora.‘ 

There was a lightness in Lyra’s head.“ 

This is just ONE line that I picked out of many, and in just this line alone, there is already such a conveyed sadness and bittersweet-ness. We know where this is going and we’re powerless to do anything about it. 

When you read this series the first time, there’s so much magic and adventure and unknown factors. And yeah, there’s also doom, but it’s always overshadowed by curiousity. The reader’s journey is so similar to Lyra’s - there’s so much information withheld about the greater machinations and parts of the world, there’s so much innocence that’s only lost or found out too late. 

But the second time round, the reader (as I’ve found myself doing) relates closer to the adults. They’re not innocent anymore, and neither are we. We’re corrupted, as the adults are, by knowledge, but we still read it. And there’s still nothing we can do to prevent any of it, including a lot of the tragic outcomes for these characters and for Lyra. 

Broken and Cursed

Characters: Y/N (reader), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Metatron (mentioned), Naomi (mentioned), Crowley (sorta).

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Warnings: Selfloathing, Self-blame, hurt!Sam, canon typical violence, s8 spoilers (but is that really spoilers anymore?)  

Word Count: 2400ish

A/N: This is a rewrite of the end of the season 8 finally. I loved the scene in the church, and I hope that I haven’t butchered it completely by inserting a reader into this moment between the brothers. I used some of the dialogue from the episode, and I do not claim to own any of that.  

This is 1 out of my 13 entries for @mamapeterson / @mrs-squirrel-chester’s Album Fanfiction Challenge where I chose the album “Smoke and Mirrors” by Imagine Dragons. The song prompt for this fic is: Shots

You clasped your hand over your mouth, staring into thin air as Cas disappeared before your eyes, and Dean called out to him to no avail. This had just gone from bad to worse, and the panic you had struggled to hold in ever since your talk with Naomi was getting harder and harder to contain.

“Goddammit!” Dean snarled, making you jump slightly. Not so much because of his reaction, but because you knew Dean tended to speak before he thought when he was angry. He said things he didn’t mean, things that Sam always ended up taking to heart. You didn’t blame Dean for it. They were brothers, and it was part of who they were. It had been part of who they were long before you had met them. Long before you had fallen in love with Sam, and long before he had pushed you away out of fear of what his love would do to you.

No matter how hard he had pushed though, no matter how much it had hurt, you hadn’t left. Not really. You had kept in touch with Dean, and the second Sam had started showing signs of being ill, Dean had told you and you had reentered the brothers’ lives completely. You had moved into their new found home with them, but you had given Sam his space because you thought that had been what he needed. Standing outside the old church with Dean yelling towards the sky, you weren’t so sure. You were terrified of losing him, and the nagging feeling you could have done something to prevent things coming to this weighed heavily on your heart.

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Imagine making up with Chris. (Part B)

A/N: Part 5B 😊 Isn’t it good to see a smiling Chris gif again? Ah, it’s good to be back with the sunshine and rainbows. You can read the previous parts here: (Mini-series - Masterlist; Mini-series Spin-off: ‘Unexpected Reader - Masterlist’, ‘Little Ways Away - Part 1/Part 2/Part 3/Part 4/Part 5A’)

“Y/N,” you heard your name over the PA and looked up from your air ticket. “Paging Y/N Y/L/N, please make your way to ‘Gate 43’. This is your final call, 'Delta 1554’ to Atlanta, Georgia will be leaving momentarily. Please make your way to 'Gate 43’ immediately, thank you.”

It was your final call- your final chance to get on the plane to go see Chris and apologize, so why were you still stuck frozen to the plastic seat? You should’ve been jumping up, rushing to the gate so you could go to the love of your life and make things right. But no, you were doing the opposite and you didn’t know why. Well, at least you thought you didn’t. You had the answer to your question, just once again too afraid to admit it. You used excuses instead, convincing yourself it was school and work preventing you from getting on that plane. “You have responsibilities, Y/N,” you’d say to yourself, knowing very well your responsibility to Chris was much more important.

Another fifteen minutes passed, and like the voice from the PA promised, your flight left without you. You stuffed your ticket into your pocket and rose to your feet, enfolding your trench coat around your body as you tied the belt tight around your waist. With your clutch under your arm and your hands in your silk pockets, you made your way to the exit. It was 12:48AM; you’d been sitting at the airport for almost six hours and it was starting to look weird. You thought about going home, but you knew Ava would want to talk to you about the events that had transpired earlier than night; a talk you weren’t ready for. You could’ve gone to your parents’ place, but they were definitely going to question you; the same problem would arise if you went to your older brother’s apartment. All you wanted right now was to be alone, to sit and cry alone. A place you knew you could do that was Chris’ place, so you got into a cab and headed to the last place anyone expected you to go to.

“Y/N,” Chris called out to you and you turned.

You swore you thought you were dreaming when you saw him, you had to pinch yourself because there was no way he’d risk his job to come see your irrational and stupid ass. You pulled your ice cold hands out of your pockets, the air ticket you didn’t use still glued to your right hand. Chris started to make his way over to you with hesitant and careful steps, afraid you were an illusion that would disappear if he got too close. It was insane, the two of you were living out a freaking Hollywood movie. You felt your lips part as words tried to force their way out of your throat; an apology, but you were speechless. All you could do was let him hug you and you hug him in return. A gush of relief flooded your body and you started to cry, grabbing fistfuls of his coat.

“I am so, so sorry,” you both said simultaneously; the hold you had on each other tightening.

You felt him take a deep breath and realized he was breathing you in, reminding himself of the scent he’d been missing for the past two months. He didn’t realize how badly he’d missed you until he had you in his arms; thoughts were even had about quitting his job and retiring so he could be with you. That was how sure he was about you, and how in-love he was with you. You would’ve never let him because not only did you know his career was incredibly important to him, you had faith he was going to be a big Hollywood legend. That was how sure you were about him, and how in-love you were with him. Miscommunication and dishonesty aside, the two of you were perfect for each other.

“I am such a fucking idiot,” you choked out and Chris chuckled with limited humor, disagreeing with you with a shake of his head. “No, I am,” you wanted to pull away to look him in the eyes, but you couldn’t. His arms were so warm and comforting, so full of love and relief; you’d missed those arms. “I should’ve talked to you- I should’ve…” You trailed off because should’ve, would’ve, could’ve. “I’m sorry, Chris.”

“Hey, stop.” He gently pushed you away by the shoulders and cupped your face in his hands, working his thumbs to brush the tears from your face. It was a mess with your makeup running, but you still looked beautiful to him. “I’m sorry, okay? I said some stupid and hurtful things and- I love you,” he asserted and you smiled. “I love you so much, Y/N. So damn much,” he emphasized as tears started to well in his eyes.

“I wanted to fly to you,” you told him, showing him the ticket that had crumpled in your hand. He chuckled as he took it from you, examining the date. “I bought the ticket and I sat in the airport, but I couldn’t bring myself to get on the plane. I was too afraid you’d turn me away,” you admitted in sheepish voice when his facials prompted an explanation from you. “I got all dressed up for nothing,” you managed a light laugh and Chris smiled, kissing your forehead. “I figured you’d hate me less if I showed up in your favorite dress.”

“Baby,” he chuckled softly as he hands dropped to your waist, pulling your body flush against yours. “I could never, ever hate you.” One hand caressed your face as he dipped his head, kissing your lips tenderly. Your arms snaked around his lower back and you smiled against his lips; lips you thought you’d never get to kiss again. “You are the love of my life,” he whispered when he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against yours.

“And you are the love of mine,” you whispered back. “I am so sorry, Chris,” you told him again and he chuckled, rubbing small circles into your cheek and hipbone. “I am never, ever going to do anything so fucking stupid again. I’m never going to keep anything from you ever again. I’m going to talk so much, you’re going to want me to sew my mouth shut.” He laughed, pecking your lips again. “I love you,” you chuckled softly.

“I’ve missed you,” he smiled with eyes filled with adoration. “The past five days have been utter hell, sweetheart.” You chuckled and nodded in agreement. “I have so much to tell you that- we’re not going to get to do anything naughty before I have to head back to Atlanta.” You laughed and he smiled; he’d missed that too. “And believe me, naughty things are all I want to do right now. You know what this dress does to me,” he winked and you bit back your smile. “Honestly,” he chuckled and pulled you back in for a tight hug, “it’s just good to see your face.”

“Likewise, Captain,” you hugged him tightly too, closing your eyes and breathing him in. “Likewise.”

Tags: @chrisevans-imagines @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @xoxomioxoxo @imaginesofdreams @ateliefloresdaprimavera @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @caitsymichelle13 @michellekeehlmello @letterstomyself21 @soymikael @faye22 @always-an-evans-addict @sammyrenae68 @brobrobreja @elizabeth-matsuoka @thegirlwiththeimpala @camerica96 @all-of-the-above11 @whenyourealizethisisntagoodname @yourtropegirl @smoothdogsgirl @createdbytinyaddiction @siofrataylor @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @imaginary-world-of-mine @wanderingkat77 @grantward3 @rileyloves5 @chrsmom302 @buckys-shield @mylittlefandomfanfictions @breezykpop @catch-me-im-a-falling-star @tabi-toast @ssweet-empowerment @hayleesteashoppe @chrixa @feelmyroarrrr @akidura79 @louisespecter @castellandiangelo @ccrossfire @assxmblesstuff @edward-lover18 @princessesnaddy @1d-niallerbieberforever @dxbrevgrey @bellastellaluna @christopher-or-steven @brokenwingsxix @yourenotrogers @im-a-fandom-slut @royalexperiment256 @palaiasaurus64 @mysteriouslyme81 @captainumeboshi @avengingalec @tacohead13 @badassbaker @pegasusdragontiger @evanstanimagines @avengersgirllorianna @sfreeborn @dorisagent101 @antisocial-angel13 @mizzzpink @aekr @scarltvison @imagine-cats96 @adeptkillsyasse @shliic @ask-steverogers Inbox me if you’d like to be added to the tag list)


Epilogue (I can’t wait for y’all to read the epilogue. I think this epilogue consist of my favorite moment between them so far.)

You Love Me?

hiii, been meaning to make this tumblr for months, but hopefully you like this! anyway, just being an aspiring actor


“Stop,” you whined, squirming in your bed and attempting to push Jason away from your face. He laughed lightly, continuing to pepper kisses across your face.

“Jason,” you dragged out his name, but did nothing further. Deep down you loved it, each kiss leaving a ghost of a smile on your face.

“Come on, let’s go get some McDonald’s. I’m hungry.” You glanced at the clock beside your bed: 3:47 A.M. You groaned, turning toward Jason again and cupping his face in his hands. He was shirtless in his boxers, hovering above you while you slept in a sports bra and some boxer shorts underwear – it was a particularly hot night in Angel Grove. You pulled Jason’s face closer to you and pecked his lips, meaning to pull away but Jason’s hand came up to cup the back of your neck and deepen it. You let out a small moan as he swiped his tongue on your bottom lip, pulling away to catch his breath.

“Fine,” you sighed, your heavy breathing matching his, “let’s go.” Jason smiled, pecking you again before throwing on his discarded sweats and a shirt, offering you your pajama shorts and the first shirt he saw on the floor.


“Stop switching the channels, I liked that song,” you switched it back to the previous station, listening as Ariana’s voice lowly filled the car. Your hand went back to rest on the center console, intertwining your fingers with Jason’s.

“You want the regular?” You nodded as Jason rolled up to the drive-thru window. You looked at his profile as he distracted himself with the person on the other side of the intercom. Your eyes traced his jaw to his hair, your hand unconsciously coming up to run your fingers through it. Jason turned to face you, smiling and leaning in to kiss your cheek as yours turned red having been caught. “Here you go babe,” Jason parked the car in an empty space and handed you your chicken nuggets and large fries, taking out his same order.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, diving immediately into the fries. Jason smiled, it was his turn to admire you. You and he had been dating for quite some time – five months. He had been hesitant to ask you out at first, even though he’d been wanting to for weeks. His duties as a ranger prevented that though. He’d read plenty of comic books and seen plenty of movies to know how much danger you’d be in if you were involved with him. But, when he saw you shove some bully off Billy, he knew he probably wouldn’t be able to contain himself. Even though he kept his secret from you as best as he could, but one day you had walked in on him morphing. He had been having trouble morphing lately, not being able to do it during practices. So, he took whatever time he had to himself, alone, to practice morphing again. When he finally did, you had walked in on him red-suited. That sparked your first argument, but after telling you the pact he made to keep his identity hidden, you’d eventually forgiven him.

Now, here he was looking at you – admiring you, for always being beside him. Through everything. He couldn’t love you anymore than he already did.

Not that he had ever told you that, though.


“I had fun this weekend, Jason.” You were bidding Jason a farewell before your parents got home from the anniversary weekend getaway. You both stood at your door entrance with him standing outside and you leaning on the door frame.

“I did too, babe.” He leaned up, due to your height advantage, and pecked you.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you!” Jason turned around, not immediately realizing he had just told you he loved you for the first time – you, however, did not let it go unnoticed.

“Jason!” He turned around, confusion on his face – it still hadn’t registered in his mind. “Did you – did you just say you loved me?” And then Jason’s face turned to one of shock, his cheeks burning from embarrassment.

“I – no, I,” He scrambled to find words for what he said, not wanting to scare you off. “I didn’t!”

“Jason… it’s okay,” you walked toward him but his face went from embarrassed to defensive.

“No! I didn’t say I loved you. I didn’t mean it.” He didn’t mean for it to come out as bad or as harsh as it did, but he said it. And he couldn’t take it back. And, god, did that hurt. Jason recognized the look on your face quickly and tried to correct himself. “No! I just mean –.”

“No, I get it. I’ll see you at school.” You stormed into your house, slamming the door and locking it, not bothering to listen to the pounding on your door and Jason repeatedly screaming your name. You sank down into your bed and sighed, not noticing the few tears that hit your pillow.


Jason walked around the halls looking for you. He’d waited at your locker, waited by your first and third period, but didn’t find you until lunch. You were sitting with Trini. He walked over toward your table casually, not picking up his pace until you made eye contact and started to collect your things. “(Y/N)! Wait, baby. Please!” Trini looked at you and Jason confused. You two never fought, despite that one time when you found out he was a ranger.

“What, Jason?” Your words were sharp, harsh. And though it hurt him to hear you so mad at him, he pushed through it.

“I need to talk to you.”

“We don’t have anything to say to each other.” You continued to walk and Jason panicked so he did the only thing he could think of.

“I love you!” You stopped walking, turning to face him. Your eyes wide as you looked at everyone staring at you in the cafeteria. “I love you. I love you so much.” You walked toward Jason, begging him to quiet down. “No. I want everyone to know,” he grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers, holding them both up. “I love you, (Y/N) (L/N).”

Jason brought your conjoined hands to his lips, lightly kissing the back of your hands. His voice dropped to a whisper as he said, “I love you. I have for awhile. I’m sorry about yesterday. I freaked out because I thought it wasn’t what you wanted and I thought I was going to scare you away. I just don’t want to lose you.”

You cut off his rambling by cupping his face and bringing his lips to yours, kissing him deeply. Your hands reached up to wrap around his neck as he smiled through the kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you slightly.

“I love you, Jason Scott. So much.”

“You guys are gross.” You both smiled at Trini, knowing she was joking with her smile.

anonymous asked:

aaaaahh! i need more mentor and mentee prompts, they're so good!!

1) “I thought you were dead.” They stared at their mentor, throat thick. “I thought-” 
“Hey now.” Their mentor clapped their on your shoulder. “Like I’d leave you on your own, I couldn’t possibly inflict that on the world. God knows what you’d get up to with no one to keep an eye on you.”


2) “You taught me to do what was right.”
“And, maybe,” their mentor murmured. “What is right is to look the other way this time.” Their mentor met their eyes, smiled oh so nicely. “Hm?”
The mentee felt their entire world had shattered around their feet. Their head spun. “I don’t know…I…I guess.” There was a bad taste in the smile but their mentor looked so proud of them now. 
“Don’t you worry about a thing. I have this handled.”


3) Earlier that day, they’d screamed at their mentee for starting a fight. For acting irresponsible, beneath them, I’m disgusted with your behaviour. 
Their ears rung, now, at the discovery that their mentee had only done it to defend their honour in the first place - however misguidedly. They’d said such awful things, and the mentee had just taken them quietly as if they were deserved!


4) “You know, the first outfit was fine. So was the tenth.”
They shot their best friend a foul look. Their mentor had invited them for dinner - a casual  bite - but still. This was a big deal. Their chance to impress. They had to get it perfect. Oh, their stomach was in knots. 


5) “So the student overtakes the teacher,” their mentee murmured. They’d been so bright once, so charming, so eager to learn. The best student that they’d ever had. So much potential. It ached in the mentor’s lungs. What could they have done differently? Could they somehow prevented this?
The mentor backed up, breathing hard, awaiting the finishing blow. Wasn’t that how these stories went?
“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” their mentee said. “I’m not going to kill you. I owe you everything! This wouldn’t even have been possible without you.” Even now, the mentor realized with a lurch, even now the mentee was hungry for praise. For someone they had once so revered to tell them what a good job they’d done. And the mentor didn’t think they were going to take disapproval for an answer.

aerialsquid  asked:

So how does trans Peter jive with the gratuitous shirtless scenes every marvel movie is contractually obliged to offer? Do hormones used early do that IRL (no clue), does marvelverse have super hormones retrofitted from asguardian technology, or did his new spider powers perfectly heal his top surgical and all other scars?

peter’s lack of breasts in homecoming could be explained by him having had top surgery (plus there are some types of top surgery that don’t leave those thick scars, but it isn’t as common), or he could have taken puberty blockers prior to taking testosterone which would have prevented his breasts from filling in too much, and then he also could have just been very flat chested (it should also be taken into consideration that when you gain more muscle your breasts typically get smaller/tighter, so if he already was pretty flat chested then the added muscle to his pecs from the spider bite would make that even more so)

but i like the way you think with this superhero fake science, with all the alien tech we saw in homecoming it would make sense for regular surgeons and doctors in the marvel universe to have more advanced technology for things like transitioning and top surgery or all medical purposes in general

The first time I’ve drawn Maud (even if just as a chbi!). I need to draw her more sometime. :0

💎 SYNOPSIS 💎

Maud gets her “rocktorate” and graduates from college, now preparing to expand her horizons. Pinkie Pie is ecstatic when her big sister expresses interest in living in Ponyville and tries her best to convince Maud to stay. While studying rocks is a big motivation, Maud admits that she’s actually more interested in finding someone she can relate to (outside of her family, of course). This only excites Pinkie more, and she makes it her personal mission to find a BFF for Maud somewhere in Ponyville. And that candidate just might be closer to home than she would’ve thought!


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havenothingtodowithme  asked:

Hey! First of all, I love your blog 💖 and are you still doing blitzstone hc? Could I ask for some wedding cerimony headcanons? Or just cute hc in general! Thanks so much 💖

Sorry this took so long, I had a lot to say! I loved writing these!! To anyone else who may have sent me requests, they’re coming

- it’s a few years after preventing Ragnarok for the last time
-hearth & blitz are around 24 maybe?
-they’ve been dating ever since a little before the last possible-Ragnarok when they ended up having a pre-battle, heat-of-the-moment, I-don’t-want-to-lose-you-without-telling-you-how-I-feel Kiss
-but anyway, Blitzen’s best is thriving & Hearth’s magic is way better than it used to be & everything is good and pure
- Blitz proposes like this: on the anniversary of the day Blitz found Hearth in Nidavellir, they go out for dinner in a fancy restaurant, and then (after sundown) take a walk in a park they used to stay in while they were homeless.
-They end up at a quiet fountain w/ no one else around. The street lamps shine off the water & in Hearth’s eyes. It’s dark enough to be romantic & secluded but bright enough to sign easily.
-Taking a deep breath, Blitz gives a little speech (signing & speaking) about how much Hearth means to him & how he’s his everything. This information is nothing new, but Hearth is still completely in awe.
- By now he has the suspicion Blitz is planning something big, but he’s still completely overwhelmed when the tiny dwarf actually gets down on one knee. He doesn’t pull the ring out right away, bc he has to ask Hearth, will you marry me?
- And of course the answer is obvious, they’ve been living together for years now, they’re absolutely a package deal & there’s no way Hearth’s gonna say no. So he just nods and signs Yes really excitedly & pulls Blitzen up to kiss him & then Blitz pulls the ring box out of his jacket pocket and opens it.
- It’s silver & simple & elegant & it has perthro engraved on the band. Both their hands are shaking when Blitz slides it onto Hearth’s ring finger. They kiss again, laughing bc everything is falling perfectly into place. This is their dream come true.
- they get Blitz a ring too. It’s gold & has a wider band than Hearth’s with the same engraving of their family’s symbol
- they invite Magnus, Samirah, & Alex (who has become a part of their family too) over to tell them & the kids are beyond excited for their dads
- so for the actual ceremony, it’s pretty small- just the family, the Floor 19 Crew, Inge, and Freya (Blitz didn’t want to invite her, but Hearth convinced him. She’s your mother, Blitz. And she’s the goddess of love- it’s not like she doesn’t know we’re getting married! If we don’t invite her, we’ll never hear the end of it.)
- Halfborn performs the ceremony, bc he has definitely been ordained at some point in his 1200 year stay at Valhalla
- Magnus is their best man, Samirah is the maid of honor
-Alex is the ring bearer
- Blitz designed everyone’s outfits, obviously. He’s still salty about not designing the outfits for the fake wedding with Thrym tbh. He can’t say it, but he def wants to show up Sif
- and he does! Hearth wears a white suit + his scarf bc it’s 100% necessary. Blitz insisted he not wear black for once. Blitz’ pants & suit jacket are black but his vest is red to match the scarf. He’s wearing a bow tie too
- Magnus’ tux is gray w/ a white vest. His hair is grown back by now so it’s braided on one side to keep it out of his face during the ceremony
- Samirah’s dress is green again with silver lace & her hijab has silver threads in it for accent
- Amir’s tux is deep purple & he’s perfect and beautiful
- Alex is female & her dress is a very pale pink & her makeup is green. The dress stops around knee-length & is very twirlable. Magnus is dying
- jack is here & he insisted upon having a bow tie tied around his hilt
- Blitzen threatened to throw a fit if Halfborn showed up half-dressed like always, so the beserker relented. His suit is dark brown & his beard is braided neatly
- Mallory’s dress is a lighter green than Sam’s and is sleeveless. Her crazy hair is tamed a bit & falls around her shoulders. Halfborn has to concentrate very hard on the task at hand
- TJ refused to wear anything besides his union jacket but he let Blitz fix it up a bit.
- Freya is literally gorgeous, as always. She’s wearing about forty pounds of jewelry & Blitz wonders which piece was responsible for his life until Hearth takes his hand and smiles at him
- Inge is a free hulder now & is pretty close w/ hearth & blitz. Her dress is light blue & her hair is in very elaborate braids. Blitz asked whether she wanted a hole for her tail in the dress & she decided yes. She wears her tail proudly nowadays & is very active among the movement to free the huldrefolk
- also I don’t think anyone invited him but oh look, there’s Odin! The weirdo shows up about two minutes before the ceremony starts and is like “how could I miss the wedding day of my greatest pupil??” And hearth is so green
- tbh I bet Thor & Sif show up too & by this point it’s like…. Any other gods planning on showing up last minute or can we get married already? This is the exact moment when their former boss the severed head appears right in the middle of the aisle & Amir nearly faints
- when Thor shows up Hearth is definitely like who the fuck invited him, that giant dumbass is going to ruin our wedding!! Thor’s just kind of like “Wow my good friend the elf is so happy to see me!!”
- there’s also a suspicious bird at the window… Utgard-Loki…. Is that you, you sneaky fuck
- Marvin & Otis are sitting in the very back of the room with the very strict instructions not to eat any furniture. Otis starts crying in the middle of the vows & chews off an armrest anyway
- after all mystery guests arrive, they can finally start.
- Blitz’ vows start out with him talking about finding hearth in Nidavellir & how important and life-changing their friendship was immediately. He tells hearth who absolutely incredible he is & how honored blitz is to be marrying him.
- hearth’s vows describe how he’d always thought he’d be an empty cup for his whole life, but he never knew that from the moment blitz found him he was being filled more & more everyday bc of their friendship, and how blitz was the first person hearth ever trusted and he can’t believe he’s lucky enough to have him for their whole lives
- they exchange rings & they’re both near tears
- Halfborn says “by the power vested in me by the world of Valhalla, I now pronounce you dwarf & elf. You may kiss the groom” and blitz grabs hearth’s scarf and yanks him down for the kiss & everything’s beautiful
- Magnus definitely cries. The kid’s dads are getting married, give him some slack
- Alex teases him, but her eyes were a little misty for a while there too
- they don’t really have a reception, but the very extended family (so basically the empty cups + floor 19, Amir, & Inge) go back to blitz & hearth’s apartment to celebrate
- blitz bridal-carries hearth over the threshold & it is the cutest thing ever
- one of the boys probably had a bouquet to throw. Sam catches it & she and Amir don’t stop blushing all night
- big tearful family hugs. Blitz, hearth, Sam, Magnus, & Alex having a giant family group hug while the kids are so happy for their parents
- Alex teases Samir & Gunderkeen about when they’re gonna tie the knot. Mallory & Samirah retaliate by bringing up Magnus & making Alex blush a lot
- Inge dancing with hearth & telling him how happy she is for him. She just loves him so much wow. I like to think by this point although she obviously still loves him, she’s gotten over him mostly & maybe has a cute elf gf that’s also active in the free-the-huldre scene.
- Inge dancing w/ blitz afterwards & giving him a stern “don’t you dare hurt that boy” speech but obviously he’s not gonna & they’ve all been friends now for years so by the end they’re just laughing
- blitz & hearth having the first dance as a married couple & just swaying and holding onto each other and at the end they kiss & it’s really slow and sweet and beautiful and I’m dead

This was. Really freaking long, hope you enjoy, xoxo your Local Blitzstone Dealer™

Curious, not Guilty~Jughead Jones One-shot

A/N: Gif’s not mine

Summary: Based on the line “That’s not where I would hide a body”.

Pairing: Jughead x reader

Word Count: 1900 exactly

Warnings: Mentions of death, fluff

Originally posted by marorra


I was sitting in the Blue and Gold office with Jughead and Betty. We were looking at the murder board and discussing why Jason’s body was thrown in the river.  Or at least, they were discussing it. I was just there with my computer, typing any of my thoughts into a document which I preferred much more to talking. Jughead was leaning against a table with his signature beanie on, Betty was sitting on one of the old plastic chairs and I was at the table with my laptop open, staring at a document full of my suspicions.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So I was wondering if you could write a fluffy analogical fic? I really don't have an idea for what exactly I want, I just love the ship lol - Hazelwood Anon <3

I FINISHED IT! This is soooo late, but I hope you like it anyway! Also just for the record, wrapping someone in bubble wrap will not prevent them from getting injured. Yes, I speak from experience


Logan was beginning to get concerned.

Two months ago, he had finally worked up the courage to ask Anxiety out on a date, and much to his relief and delight, the other had said yes. They had been together ever since. And their relationship was going well. They enjoyed each others company, went on multiple pleasant outings, and found activities to share together. Although Logan still maintained that kissing your opponent during a debate counted as cheating.

With all the time they now spent together, it was only natural that they would become more aware of the quirks and habits of the other. For the most part, Logan enjoyed this. He loved learning new things about Anxiety. Like the way he always had to sleep with his arms curled up around something, be it a stuffed animal, pillow, or person. Or the way he’d hum absentmindedly when absorbed in a task.

However, one of the things he’d learned worried Logan immensely. Anxiety, as it turned out, was incredibly clumsy, and he was going to give Logan an heart attack. It seemed as though every day he had a new bump, bruise, or scratch, and whenever Logan tried to fuss over them, Anxiety just waved him off, claiming he “had just tripped down the stairs, no big deal.”

Logan disagreed. Minor clumsiness would be ignorable, but Anxiety took it to an extreme that left Logan sure he was going to get himself seriously injured some day. He could not allow that to happen. So, he had come up with a list of possible solutions.

At heart, a man of science, Logan was eager to test each possibility and learn which one functioned best. He was sure that with this experimentation, he would find a way to prevent his boyfriend from getting any future injuries.

The first item on his list was simple: keep a hold of Anxiety. Theoretically, as long as Logan had a hand on him, or even was within arms reach, he should be able to prevent any accidents.

For the next two days, Logan stuck to Anxiety like glue, hovering over him everywhere he went. So far, it seemed to be working. Anxiety had almost tripped a few times, but Logan had been able to catch him each time.

They were sitting on the couch together, Logan keeping one eye on Anxiety as he carefully reviewed his notes on the experiment. Then there was a call from Morality.

“Logan,” he said, “Do you think you could come help me in the kitchen? I’m making stew and it would go faster with a set of helping hands.”

Logan hesitated. He didn’t want to tell Morality no, but if he was busy cooking there was no way he’d be able to react fast enough to any incidents.

Anxiety looked at him and rolled his eyes. “Just go already,” he huffed. “You’ve been stupidly clingy for the past two days. It’s been fun, but I assure you, we can stand to be apart for twenty minutes.”

Logan frowned. “If you’re sure-“ he began.

Anxiety cut him off, now starting to sound annoyed. “Yes, I’m sure. What’s up with you?”

Not wanting to get into the specifics of his experiment at that moment, Logan just sighed and said, “Alright. I’ll return within the hour. Please do not leave the couch during that time.”

“Whatever you say, babe,” Anxiety shrugged. “I’ve got no reason to move.”

As satisfied as the situation allowed, Logan moved to the kitchen, greeting Morality with a nod. Beginning to chop up the vegetables needed, he reassured himself mentally. Anxiety would be fine.

However, just as all the ingredients had been tossed in and the stew left to simmer, Logan heard a thump coming from the common room.

A sense of dread filling him, he called out, “Anxiety?”

“I’m fine,” came the rather muffled reply, “I was just twisting to try and reach the remote and I fell off the couch.”

Logan sighed, and pulled out his notebook.

Idea successful when implemented, but cannot be kept up continuously. Must be executed in conjunction of another solution.

Snapping his notebook shut, he adjusted his glasses. Further experimentation was required.


His next experiment required a bit of coaxing to pull off. Logan’s theory was that if he couldn’t always be around to prevent incidents, perhaps he could teach Anxiety to be less clumsy, so he could prevent them himself. His suggested method for doing so: yoga.

By increasing Anxiety’s balance and flexibility, as well as creating a stronger awareness of his body placement, Logan hoped to decrease his clumsiness significantly. The trick was getting Anxiety to agree.

In the end, he had to bribe Anxiety with promises of making his favorite cookies later, but Logan had gotten him to go along with it. Now they were both following along to an instructional video Logan had found on YouTube.

Logan sneaked a glance at Anxiety who had his head hanging down in downward dog. While Anxiety had complained the entire time, he’d still gone through the poses.

Right then as if on cue, Anxiety lifted his head.

“Are we almost done,” he grumped. “This is boring.”

“Not much longer,” Logan promised, “But don’t you find this relaxing?”

Anxiety shrugged. “Mostly I just feel stupid,” he said, “But whatever.”

Logan smiled at him fondly. “I assure you, you don’t look stupid,” he replied. “And I hope you’ll be amenable to joining me again in the future.”

“I’ll think about it,” Anxiety conceded, and from his experience with the darker side, Logan knew that meant yes. He ducked his head to contain his smile of triumph.

A comfortable silence settled between then, only broken by the instructor in the video. Logan was pleased. As a whole, he was confident he could mark this experiment as a success. But then, as they were going into the warrior pose, it happened.

As they moved to balance on one leg, Anxiety wobbled, his arms flailing frantically, trying to stay upright. And faster than Logan could catch him, he pitched forward.

Logan abandoned his mat, kneeling at Anxiety’s side.

“Are you alright?” he asked worriedly. It didn’t look like a bad fall, but with Anxiety you never knew.

Anxiety sat up. “Yeah,” he muttered. “I’m okay. Think I might have landed on my wrong on my wrist though.”

Logan took the wrist in question and frowned at it.

“You might have sprained it,” he said, “Here, let’s get some ice.”

As they moved to the kitchen, Logan mentally revised his conclusion.

Experiment had some initial positive results, but is not an immediate solution. May produce desired results in future, but not for some time.


Logan took a breath and stepped back. There he was done.

His last two experiments had been centered on Anxiety’s actions, seeking to change them to prevent injuries. As those had failed to produce the results he needed, he had switched tactics, by changing the environment so injury was impossible.

Essentially, he had baby-proofed the house.

Every sharp edge had been covered in foam. he had installed a gate at the top of the stairs, and special handgrips on the bannister. It was perfect. Now he just had to wait for Anxiety to wake up so it could be tested.

“What. The. Hell.”

Ah, there he was.

Logan turned to beam at his boyfriend, who was looking unusually angry.

“Anxiety,” he said cheerfully, “Salutations!”

“Don’t you salutations me” Anxiety growled, “What the fuck is this shit?”

“I can only assume you’re referring to the preventative measures I’ve installed in the house,” Logan said, fidgeting with his glasses nervously.

“Is that what those are?” Anxiety spluttered, “What the hell are you trying to prevent?”

Logan’s brow furrowed. Perhaps Anxiety was unaware of the severity of his clumsiness.

“Well,” he began, “My hope is that they will prevent any further injuries to your person, by neutralizing objects that could be hazardous to your health.”

“I’m not a fucking infant,” Anxiety spat, “I don’t need you to treat me like one!”

“I’m not-“

“Yes, you are! For god’s sake, there’s a goddamn baby gate on the stairs!”

Anxiety seemed very upset. Perhaps he had miscalculated. Logan opened his mouth to apologize, but before he could, Anxiety spun around and began walking away from him.

“You know what, whatever” he said, turning back to glare at Logan. “I’ll be in my room”

Logan’s eyes widened. “Wait, Anxiety, look out of that-“

There was a thump, then cursing.

“… wall.” Logan sighed. It seemed his efforts had been for naught. And he doubted Anxiety would let them remain for much longer anyway.

Experiment result: utter failure.


So Logan may have been getting slightly desperate.

In his defense, nothing else seemed to be working. Having failed to stop accidents as they happened, and preventing them from happening in the first place, he had decided to to try and make sure that Anxiety would at least walk away from them uninjured.

To accomplish this, he had wrapped Anxiety in bubble wrap.

Thankfully the other side was such a deep sleeper, or he never would have been able to pull it off. So while the other had been snoozing away, Logan had wrapped his limbs, torso, and head in bubble wrap. he had left his eyes, mouth and nose uncovered though.

He took a minute to smile fondly at his still sleeping boyfriend. Anxiety was rather adorable like this. As if able to hear his thoughts, Anxiety grumbled a little in his sleep, his eye beginning to flutter. As he began to stir, his movements caused some the bubbles to pop, the sound of which seemed to rouse Anxiety faster.

He sat up and stared at his arms in confusion.

“…what?” he slurred, still half asleep.

Logan chuckled. “I’ll explain when you’re awake,” he promised. “Wait here, I’ll go and get breakfast.”

With that he ducked out of the room. he and made cinnamon roll french toast, one of Anxiety’s favorites. He hoped that the bribe of food would convince the other to keep the bubble wrap on.

When he came back into the room, Anxiety had gotten out of bed, and was staring at himself in the mirror and confusion.

“Logan,” he said, “Why am I covered in bubble wrap?”

Logan hesitated, setting the plates down. “I wanted to prevent you from getting hurt,” he said softly. “I know it seems ridiculous to you, but your propensity for getting injured is truly worrisome. So please, indulge me?”

“You’re really serious about this aren’t you,” Anxiety said, sounding resigned.

Logan nodded, feeling a bit hopeful. Would Anxiety actually agree?

“Fine,” the other grumbled. “I’ll do it. For today.”

Logan smiled. “Thank you,” he said, “Now come sit on the bed, I made French toast.”

Anxiety began to waddle over to him, but it was clear the the bubble wrap was encumbering his movements. Logan reached out to assist him, but before he could, Anxiety slipped and fell. Right into the edge of the bookcase.

Frustrated and worried, Logan pulled him up. “Any bruises?” he asked, hoping the answer was no.

“Maybe,” Anxiety winced. “Turns out bubble wrap doesn’t do much against sharp things.”

Logan frowned. It seemed this too had failed, and now he was out of ideas!

Seeing the distress on his face, Anxiety reached towards him.

“Hey babe, Logan” he said gently. “Don’t feel bad. It didn’t work, so what? I’m still okay.”

“I just hate seeing you injured,” Logan confessed, “Even in minor incidents such as this”

“Yeah, I know,” Anxiety said, “But you can’t prevent everything. And you know what, the only thing that really matters is that you’re here to help patch me up afterwords. Yeah?”

“I suppose,” Logan replied uncertainly.

“You know I’m right,” Anxiety said, no room for argument in his voice. “Now seriously, help me get out of this bubble wrap.”

As Logan began to untangle him, he turned Anxiety’s words over in his minds. Perhaps it didn’t matter if he couldn’t prevent every accident. Maybe it really was enough to be there to help with the aftermath.

Logan smiled to himself, as he and his now unwrapped boyfriend sat on the bed to eat their breakfast together. He would just have to make sure he was always there.

(He’d still be looking for solutions to Anxiety’s clumsiness though)

Im a cis lesbian, but I get so fucking excited whenever I see trans characters of any sexuality, bi characters, pan characters, gay characters. And why wouldn’t I? Representation for one is representation for ALL. The LGBT+ community as a whole gets put under a more visible light.

So what I don’t understand is people who will try to rip that representation away from other members of the community as if they *deserve* that more than they do? People who insist Korra, Asami, or Wonder Woman are all lesbians instead of canonically bi, people who try to deny a character’s trans identity (Damien in DDadds), people who insist a character who’s bi is gay or who’s gay is bi–or who insist that someone that canonically experiences sexual attraction is ace.

We can’t just…take that away from each other, guys. It’s nice to have our own headcanons and such, but it becomes difficult for the members of the community to feel welcome when other members take away OUR/YOUR representation for what really is just personal gain.

And we can’t be getting mad when a character turns out to be one sexuality or gender ID instead of another. It’s one thing if the authors queerbaited and suddenly said “oh LOL nope!!” because that’s homophobic. But you know what else is homophobic? Hating a character because they turned out to be bi instead of gay/lesbian even though there wasn’t anything preventing them from being the former in the first place. The reverse is also homophobic. It tears the community apart.

So I get excited as all fuck when a trans person or an mlm couple or a bi girl shows up on TV/in the media, even though I’m none of those. I know that that representation is what those communities are thirsting for and ultimately do deserve–just as much as the lesbian community deserves rep too. But I don’t weep over what “could have been”, I get as joyous as the actual members of those groups.

by @niumiu

Hibari, Yamamoto and Mukuro getting jealous when someone is hitting on their ex and now they want her back

Hibari

He knew that the decision he had taken before was the right one. He knew it.

The relationship between you both reached a point where he felt like he was being tied down. Marriage? That’s not what he wanted when he started dating you. Yes, Tsuna and the other talked about how, since you both were dating for years now, you should marry.

Nonsense. He decided that if that was what you thought too, then he should end the relationship. Unfortunately, your answer to this matter was that you agreed with them.

Hibari knew that the decision he took that day when he left you had been the right one. He knew it, but as much as he hated to admit, he regretted it now.

Seeing you radiant again, buying flowers from a flower shop, made him remember all the years that you two spent together, and all the months that he spent alone. Made him regret for once a decision that he had taken.

What was wrong with him?

He didn’t know and it really didn’t matter much. His priority was to take you away from the man that had approached you, said something to you and made you laugh. And you smiled at him. That smile was not meant for anyone but him.

Self-control? There’s no such thing.

He stalked all the way from across the street, to inside the flower shop that you were. He would not watch a man hit on you from a glass and go on with his day. He may have committed a mistake but he was not going to let that go on.

The bell of the door rang, making you and the man look at him.

“Hibari?” You asked with genuine shock.

“Come with me.” He said and wrapped a hand around your waist, dragging you away from that man.

You really didn’t know what that was about, or what your ex, who had clearly broken up with you was doing there. That shock kept you going with him, you were too accustomed to his touch, but just when you were near the door, you came to yourself.

“Wait, what are you doing?” You said pushing him away.

“Do you know him?” The man said meaning to go help you but stopped on his tracks under Hibari’s murderous glare.

“Yes, and I thought I wouldn’t be seeing him again.” You said throwing him a hurt look. “You were very clear when you said it was over.”

“I want you back.” He replied bluntly.

Damn, that took down all of the weak defenses that you had put up. Why was he always so direct like that?

“Oh… Well… Then… I-I have to think about that Hibari…” You said.

A smirk spread through his lips and he grunted in response. Damn, he knew how weak you were for him. That bastard.

“I will pick you at eight.” He said and then walked out of the door.

You stood reactionless, when it finally settled in what he had just done.

“Damn Hibari, you can’t just do that to me.” You muttered to yourself and hid your smile with one hand.

You couldn’t lie, you were happy that things turned out this way.

**

Yamamoto

Yamamoto could understand when you asked for some time. He could understand when you said, after said time, that you wanted to go. He could understand your reasons for breaking up with him, after all.

You said that he didn’t spend enough time with you. That you felt like being pushed aside by all his work.

He could understand you, but he knew that he could have done more. He could have prevented the break up. It was not like he couldn’t find that time for you that he wanted so much, but he thought that he wouldn’t miss you when you were gone. You had been dating just for a few months anyway.

Oh, boy, how he was so wrong.

Now that he saw you so beautiful, even in the dim light of that club, sitting by the bar counter and tapping your foot on the ground with the song’s rhythm, he saw how wrong he was.

It’s been what? A week since you broke up with him?

Just a week, and there wasn’t a single night that he didn’t think about you when he went to sleep.

He didn’t know how to approach you about it, though. Would you even be willing to give him another chance?

However, he didn’t have much time to think about it. A man had approached you and he could see from afar that he was trying to make small talk with you. You tried to be polite with him, but your body language was showing that you weren’t comfortable with the entire situation.

As the man failed at each second to take the hint that you weren’t interested, Yamamoto’s rage flared and decided to take the lead.

He walked from the corner where he was to you. You lifted your eyebrows in surprise when he put an arm protectively around your shoulders and pulled you slightly into his chest.

“[Name], is this man bothering you?” He said with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. They were cold and focused on the man.

You didn’t know what your ex was doing at that club and you didn’t want to consider the possibility that he had been stalking you. Yamamoto wasn’t the kind of man who would do that.

However, you were grateful for his appearance, because the man that approached you was getting creepier by the minute. You knew your ex-boyfriend well enough to know that you had to mind your words, otherwise that man wouldn’t live to see another day.

“No, baby. He’s just making small talk.” You replied with a nervous smile. You were afraid that the man would try to say anything else, but seeing Yamamoto’s creepy smile he finally took the hint and left you alone.

With a sigh of relief, you pushed Yamamoto away slightly. It didn’t take you much effort to do it. He easily slid the arm out of your shoulders, but didn’t leave.

“Look, Yamamoto. I’m thankful for your coming, but that doesn’t change anything between us.” You said getting up from your bench, ready to leave.

“[Name].” He called and you had to look back. Why was he using that voice tone with you? He probably knew that you were weak for him. “I miss you.”

“I… Takeshi I took my decision. I’m not going back.” You tried to be firm but you felt your voice and willpower wavering.

“I know. I don’t want to go back.” He replied.

That took you by surprise. “Then what do you want?”

“I want to start again.” He said with his most powerful and heart melting smile. There goes your willpower.

“Will you, at least, give me the time that I asked for?” You asked.

Yamamoto took your hand in his both and looked right in your eyes. “I will give you everything that I can. I promise.”

**

Mukuro

You both broke up on good terms. Not what you wanted, but you couldn’t really disagree. Mukuro was that obsessed with your safety. He thought that it was better for you not to be with someone like him.

That was what he was thinking about when he saw you enter the ball so radiant on your dress. You both agreed to go on your own ways, he thought as he sipped on his wine. You both agreed, he thought, and his grip on his glass tightened when a man approached you.

It was a peaceful agreement between you both, and he didn’t regret the decision, but could you at least not laugh that way at the man’s words? Could you at least not have that glint on your eyes that told him that you were delighted with the attention? Could you at least not slap the man’s arm playfully?

Oh, you could, but you wouldn’t. He noticed that when you threw a glance and a teasing smirk at him. So you had perceived his presence there at all.

He smirked back at you. He didn’t regret his decision. Not at all.

The music started playing and the man clearly asked you a dance. Your smile widened and you looked at Mukuro when you took the man’s hand. Someone made a comment about Mukuro’s glass being about to break with the strength that he was holding it, but his brain didn’t quite process.

His eyes were focused on you, and solely on you.

You spun around the dance floor, guided by the man. Appearing and disappearing behind the couples, your dress flowing around your knees. A cut on the side of the skirt showing your thigh in a rather provocative manner, made him remember the times where he had seen more than just your bare thigh.

Fuck, he regretted making that decision.

He shoved the glass on someone’s hands and stalked to you and your partner. The man’s face was getting dangerously close to yours.

“Kufufu, would you mind if I borrowed your partner for a while?” He asked putting a hand on the man’s shoulder and stopping you both. The man recognized him quickly, nodded and just released you, making his way out of the dance floor quite in a hurry.

“I don’t think I’ve agreed to dance with you.” You said putting a hand on your hip.

“Would you give me the honor of this dance, [Name]? For the sake of the old times?” He asked extending a hand and waiting with a smile.

“Well, there’s a reason they’re called ‘old times’. If I remember correctly, you said that it was over.” You replied but took his hand anyway.

“If you agree,” He said starting to spin you around. “We could make the old times return.”

“Oh, so you regret your decision?” You asked raising an eyebrow.

“Besides, you still like me.” He replied ignoring your question.

“Do I, Now?” You said with a chuckle.

“Yes, and I can convince you of that.” He said tentatively.

You didn’t know what he was planning, but you didn’t really accept to be left behind by him and you wanted to see how he was going to convince you.

“Very well, convince me then-”

You didn’t quite finish talking when he pulled you into a searing kiss that sent a wave of warmth through your body. You didn’t want to admit it, but you really missed your ex-boyfriend’s kisses.

When he let you go, you had to find your air again between pants and gasps, but you weren’t ready to give up now.

“I might need some more convincing.” You said.

He chuckled. “I have the entire night for that, my dear.”