you’ll realize you’re in too deep when you find yourself staring a little longer than you used to, or when you realize you’ve been imagining scenarios where you wake up to them in your arms, or when you realize that they’ve done something ordinary but all you can do is smile because it’s just so cute, because they’re just so cute
that’s when you realize you’re fucked
they didn’t catch you
and now you’ve hit the ground without anything to brace yourself again, nothing to soften the blow
you’ve got a face full of gravel and blood and when you look up at them, you decide you can’t blame them for not wanting to get their hands dirty
you blame the stars for not aligning the way they should have
you blame time for not being on your side
you blame circumstance
you blame situations
you blame fate
you blame them
you blame yourself
you love them
and it’s a goddamn tragedy
because you look at them as if they’re the sun
and you can’t even see that they’ve lit your whole world on fire
there’s no saying whether or not this story will end in tears or smiles, whether you two will be making love or making your ways through life separately
all i know is
everything will work out the way that it’s meant to
and that broken hearts can be mended
I promise I’m not trying to be rude
I promise I’m not ignoring you
I promise I do actually like you
I may come off the wrong way
But it’s not my intention
I don’t enjoy small talk
I love insightful conversation
No, I’m not actually funny, I’m literally just stating what I see
Please don’t ignore me because I’m too nervous to ever text first
If you put the time into me I’ll put the time into you
The show was absolutely amazing! Jack, thank you. So so much. I wont spoil too much, but Jack. Thank you for telling me to give it my all, and to get out there and do something awesome! I hope you had a good time here in Minneapolis. :) @therealjacksepticeye
P.S. I was the one who screamed “I know you can’t hear me but I love you!!” When you walked offstage. I also yelled “Im just a loser who plays Crash!!”
“No mourners, no funerals. Another way of saying good luck. But it was something more. A dark wink to the fact that there would be no expensive burials for people like them, no marble markers to remember their names, no wreaths of myrtle and rose.”
Okay so ya’ll wanted this so badly so I wrote it ASAP and here it is!
Glancing down at his phone as soon as it started ringing. Y/n’s name popping up at the screen as he shook his head, choosing to ignore his little sister’s call and tossing his phone in the back like it was useless until he heard her voice.
“Hey Dean, it’s your least favourite sister.” Rolling his eyes as he grumbled, at the current moment, she really was. She was silent for a moment, before taking in a deep breath she continued on. “I’m sorry.. It’s my fault, I know I’m a disappointment. I get that you hate me, and it’s okay, don’t worry. I hate me too. But you won’t have to worry about me anymore, okay? Take care of Sammy for me, just like you always do. Because he’s more important than anyone else, right?” Never in a million years has Dean Winchester ever heard his sister sound so vulnerable. And taking care of Sam? What was all this about? He already took care of both Sam and her. And him being more important? Sure, sometimes Dean needed brother to brother time because Sam was the only guy, but it didn’t mean he didn’t love his baby sister. “I love you Dean. No matter what. I’m sorry for everything.” And with that she hung up, hearing a small click as Dean furrowed his eyebrows. Confused at the voicemail she had just left. “Dammit Y/n.” Turning the car around, Dean started heading back to the bunker hoping to find her there.
“Y/n!” He yelled, walking into the bunker straight to her room and opening the door. “Listen, I-“ He stopped. She wasn’t even there. Maybe she was with Sam? Quickly walking down the hall, the door flung open, revealing Sam leaning on the doorway as he sighed. “Is she with you?” “No.” “Dammit! Where is she?” “She’s at the motel in town, I tracked her phone as soon as I got her voicemail.” Dean raised an eyebrow. “You got one too?” He nodded. “Show me.” Both of the hunters walked out to the library, Sam placing his phone on the table on speaker with her message.
“Hey Sammy..” It was silence until she sniffed and continued. “I’m sorry for everything.. You getting hurt because of me, it’s all my fault. I’m not worth it, I don’t know why you did it. Thank you for being my big brother, even when you weren’t there for me when I needed you, you were still my big brother. And I could never hate you. I’m sorry. I love you.” Sam’s eyes were glistening with tears as he furrowed his eyebrows, looking up to his older brother with concern. “What’s she talking about?” “I don’t know.” “Maybe she ran away?” “I don’t know Sammy. But we sure as hell are gonna find out.” “Alright.” Both men got up as Dean shook his head. “You’re staying here.” “Dean, she’s my sister too. I deserve just as much as you to go find her.” A sigh fell from Dean’s lips as he gave in. “Fine, but it’s your funeral.” He grumbled, turning to leave him in the room as he rushed to the steps and outside with Sam following behind. “She’s probably fine Dean.” “She better be.”
Both brothers quickly exited the Impala, rushing to the front entrance of the small Motel. “Hey, we’re looking for a girl? About, yea’ high?” Dean said, holding up his hand to around your height. “She’s our sister, E/c eyes, H/c hair, wearing a red flannel maybe?” Sam butted in, wanting desperately to find his little sister in hopes nothing bad has happened to her yet as the man raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, came in just about twenty five minutes ago, room twelve.” Dean ran off, leaving Sam to smile and mutter a quick ‘thank you’ to the man before rushing off along side him.
Both of them came to a halt, room twelve directly in front of them as Dean gently rapped his knuckles against the wooden door. “Y/n? Sweetheart you in there?” There was no response as Dean shrugged, looking up at Sam who had furrowed eyebrows. “Let me try.” He said, pushing his brother out of the way who dramatically threw his arms up in the air. “Y/n, it’s me, Sam.” Again, Sam also knocked on the door. With no response once more, Sam backed up. “Screw this.” Dean muttered, kicking at the door as it fell off its hinges to the floor. Both hunters rushed into the room, gun in hand as they skimmed the empty room. “Y/n?” “Dean..” Sam whispered, continuing to stare into the bathroom as Dean walked over. “What is it?” There. Laying in the bathtub was their baby sister.
“Y/n?..” He mumbled, quickly rushing over and picking her up out of the tub as he shook her limp body. “Y/n!” Tears were forming in his eyes as Sam ran his hand through his hair. “Sammy call an ambulance..” “Dean-“ “I said call an ambulance dammit!” Sam didn’t protest anymore, leaving the room and quickly calling for an ambulance like his brother requested. “Y/n sweetheart open those pretty eyes of yours for me..” He whispered, clutching her body close to his chest with tears starting to slowly run down his face as sirens were heard in the distance. Glancing around the room, looking for the cause of whatever happened. His eyes landing on a small prescription bottle of painkillers as Sam came rushing into the bathroom. “They’re here, c’mon.” Dean quickly stood up, lifting his sister in the process and rushing outside while medics swarmed them, taking her away as he started to panic, reaching out to try and hold her again until a female medic came in front of him. “Sir, sir. Please calm down. Can you tell me what the cause of this was?” There was no reply. He was too lost to speak, too broken to function. But yet, he managed to force the words off his lips. “Suicide.”
You were instantly rushed to the hospital, being sent to the emergency room right away while both brothers waited in the waiting room for any response of your health.
“It’s all my fault..” “Dean, it wasn’t your fault. We’ll talk to Y/n when she wakes up…” “I yelled at her Sammy. I told her she only slowed us down.. What kind of a brother does that make me?” “Punishing yourself isn’t going to get us anywhere Dean, Y/n wouldn’t want that.. If anything, it was both of our faults. We didn’t watch or pay attention to her like we should have.” After that, both brother’s sat in silence. Both weren’t ones for praying, but hell, did they pray.
“Winchester?” Both Sam and Dean’s heads looked up from where they were, instantly rushing over to the nurse. “How is she?” Sam asked, furrowing his eyebrows as Dean nodded while the nurse pursed her lips. “She’s in critical condition, we were able to revive her just in time, you boys are lucky you got to her in time.” “R-Revive her?” “As in.. She died?” The nurse nodded. “Died. Yes. She’s just in a coma right now, doctor doesn’t know when she’ll wake up, but he says to give her some time.” Can we see her?” “Of course.” She nodded, walking down the hallway with them trailing behind her as she came to a stop. “This is her room, be very cautious please.” Both of them nodded, with a smile the nurse opened the door for them. Seeing as the two brothers slowly stepped into the room, their breaths hitching in their throats at the sight. IV’s attacked to you, tubes down your throat as well as a heart monitor. “T-Thank you.” Sam mumbled, glancing back at the nurse who nodded. “Take your time.” She replied, closing the door quietly.
Dean dragged a chair over to beside her, gently taking her hand in his as he gently gave it a squeeze and kissed her knuckles. “Hey princess.” Sam followed after, sitting on the other side as he took her other hand. “Your big brother’s are here for you Y/n.”
Days went by, weeks went by. Just two an a half weeks, and Sam and Dean even dare to ever leave your side. Sam would sit there, reading to you. And Dean would talk about your favourite Tv show, and how how the nurses and doctors were and how he wished you could be there to see them yourself. “You know, it’s getting kinda boring without you around sweetheart. I mean, Sammy’s great and all. But, you know.” Dean chuckled bitterly, giving off a sad smile as he brushed the hair out of your face. Sam came walking back into the room, two cups of coffee in hand as he handed one to his older brother. “Anything yet?” He sighed shaking his head and taking the cup. “No, nothing.” “She’ll come around Dean, she’s strong.” “Yeah but that’s not the point Sam, we failed her. Not just to be there for her, but as her brothers.” Mid conversation, your eyes twitched, hearing the voice of Dean, was relieving. But, where was Sam? Forcing yourself to slowly open your eyes, you started at your two bickering brothers as you went to speak. Only for the breathing tube down your throat causing you to choke on it and gasp for air catching the attention of your two brothers. “Hey, Hey, Y/n, just calm down, relax. I promise you’ll be fine..” “We need some help in here!” Dean yelled, having a nurse run into the room and remove the tube from your throat, allowing air to fill your lungs as you sighed with relief. “Thank you..” You croaked, voice still hoarse from days without anything to drink. “Here,” Sam mumbled, grabbing a cup full of water and placing it to your lips as you wrapped your hands around the plastic and downed every last bit. Nodding your head for another thanks, your brothers stared at you with furrowed eyebrows and concern. “Y/n why- what happened?” Swallowing a small lump in your throat, you gazed down at your hands. Tears filling your eyes as Sam reached out to hold your hand. “Hey, it’s okay we’re not mad.. Just..” “Scared..” Dean muttered. “Yeah, scared. Just like Dean said. We’re scared for you.” Glancing up at your brothers you bit your bottom lip, enough to probably make it bleed. “Why would you care?” Dean furrowed his eyebrows “What- What do you mean ‘why would you care?’ You’re family, we love and care about you.” “Is that the only reason? Because I’m just your useless little sister?” Tears started slowly running down your face as Sam stood up sitting at the edge of your bed. “Hey.. No, who told you that?” “Nobody had to tell me for it to be obvious..” You mumbled softly, glancing back down at your hands just wanting to numb out the pain. “ “Listen, Y/n I know I’ve been kinda of a dick lately-“ “Lately? Dean you’re never there.” “What’re you talking about?” Busted. A sigh fell from your lips as you closed your eyes. “Y/n answer me.” Well, here goes nothing. “I just don’t feel wanted from the both of you, It’s always Sam and Dean, or Dean and Sam. You don’t let me on hunts, you don’t attend things I invite you too. You even skipped my birthday to go hunting.” Both boys mentally hit themselves. Did they actually forget their baby sister’s birthday? “This isn’t even the first time you’ve done it so don’t apologize.. And every time I ask for one thing I get blown off like I don’t matter, or interrupted in a conversation like I wasn’t even there and I’m so fucking tired of it!” By now, tears were streaming down your face, you were tired of it all. Of being treated like you were just a doll to be taken off the shelf when needed. “I listen to your problems all the time, that you two bet I don’t even have any myself. I light myself on fire for you and you just watch me burn like I was meant too. Well I’m not, okay? You think you know me so well that you can’t tell the difference if I’m happy or sad because I’m always wearing a mask just to make the two of you happy. And I’m tired, I’m done and I’m giving up. I can’t do this anymore..”
By now, the room was silent. Your brothers staring at you like you just revealed you were dying. And mentally, you were.
“Sweetheart I’m so sorry.. W-We never knew..” “Of course you didn’t.. You never asked.” Sam licked his lips and hung his head, it was as if someone had just kicked a puppy.
“Y/n I know there’s a war going on in your head..” He mumbled, gently reaching out to hold your hand. “And we’ve all been there, I promise. And I’m sorry Dean and I couldn’t have been there when the war started for you, but we’re here now, okay?” Dean nodded grabbing onto your other hand tightly. “Sammy’s right, I mean. We’ve been terrible brothers, we’ve failed you in every way possible. But let us make it up to you, let us in. Tell us what’s going on, and that war in your head that Sammy was talking about? We’ll help you. Because you’re our little sister, and we care about you so much sweetheart, and so far you’ve done an amazing job taking care of yourself.” Tears fell down into your lap as you slowly glanced up at them. Tears glazing their eyes as a small sad smile appeared on Sam’s face. “We’ll face this war together, okay?” Licking your lips, you slowly nodded your head. For the first time, you had two brothers who loved and wanted you. For the first time, you could speak your mind and not have to worry about it.
For the first time, you weren’t alone in this war. This war in your mind, isn’t everlasting. No. Because all wars, must come to an end.