so many tearful memories

anonymous asked:

I just wanted to let you know that Chalo and Priya and Teddy and you all actually help my depression and anxiety. I have a legitimate prescription from my therapist to look at your blog more. I always get really excited when I see something you've posted.

I wasn’t prepared for this, and it’s touching my heart more than I know how to say.

Escape:  the medical school years

She sat on the couch, wrapped in the Fraser plaid blanket that Jenny had given her for Christmas.  

She had spent the night shaking in reaction, and finally drifted off to sleep sometime in the early morning hours.  Her restless mind hadn’t let her sleep long though, and she’d been awake with the sun. 

Hours later she was holding the ivory handled brush, absently running it over her chin.  The bristles were still soft, and smelled of shaving lotion.  Uncle Lamb. Dear, sweet Uncle Lamb.  When they were on a dig in India he was given an elephant tusk.  Secretly horrified that a magnificent, regal animal had died for this, he decided to honour it by having the ivory made into many useful things, one of which was a shaving brush.  She had found it among his belongings after he’d died.  Out of all his effects, this one brought her to tears. So many memories of him on site shaving in rough conditions, flooded her mind.  Later, it sat on his vanity during his years as a professor.  Giving it to Jamie was only natural.  

Jamie

He would be so angry with her.  Angry, and disappointed.  

The tears welled up in her eyes.  How would she explain?  It was so clear now.  A driver.  Alec.  He taken steps to protect her before she would even admit there was danger.  He’d known.  Secrets.  But not lies.

Caught up in her thoughts, it took a minute for her to realize the door opened. 

Jamie.

He tossed his key in the general direction of the table by the door, eyes on her. Her first thought was how tired he looked.  His cinnamon and copper hair was disheveled, his handsome face covered in day old stubble.  She saw Alec discreetly place the suitcase just inside the door, then close it behind him.  

She was on her feet, and flying across the hardwood.  

Two paces away she noticed the blood from his neck that had soaked into the collar of his dress shirt, and stopped dead in her tracks.  

“Jamie!” she said, “You’re hurt!”

Without a word he closed the distance between them, and sliding his hands into her hair, kissed her.  His mouth hugged her bottom lip.  Nothing more, just a press of his soft lips on hers.  He breathed in deeply, inhaling her scent. Claire. He lifted his mouth only to kiss her again, feeling her hands cup his jaw, her thumb caress his chin.  He tasted the salt of her tears, and felt the shake of her limbs.  Mo graidh.

“Jamie,” she breathed, pulling her mouth from his, “let me see.”  She turned back his collar to see an ugly wound, the flesh cut deeply, skin hanging.  His hands slid down to cup her shoulders and rub them softly. 

“Hurts like the devil, Sassenach.”

“It needs stitches.”  She looked up at him.  “I’ll need to clean it properly.  How did it happen?”

Without taking his eyes from hers, he pulled the sgian-dubh from his coat pocket.  She gasped.  Claire shot a quick glance at the bookcase across the room where the dirk should have been, her eyes widening when she realized it was gone.  She’d never noticed.  “Where did you get it?”

“Horrocks.”

He watched the emotions play across her glass face. Surprise.  Confusion. Realization.  Anger.  Shame.  

“Jamie, I-,” 

“Shhh, Sassenach.  It’s fine.”  He offered her an exhausted smile.  “Can ye get yer wee kit and fix me up?” 

Claire unwound the plaid from around her shoulders, and laid it on the back of the sofa.  As she walked away, Jamie fingered the cloth thoughtfully.


He couldn’t take his eyes off of her.  Looking at Claire, feasting his eyes on her, helped him manage the pain as the needle pierced his skin.  She’d only had a light topical ointment on hand to numb the area.  Watching her face while she worked took him back in time to when he first set eyes on her.  She was then as she was now, with her brow furrowed in concentration, lips pursed, luminescent English skin showing the smattering of freckles across her nose. He watched the sun play through the tendrils of hair that brushed her neck and cheekbones.  He’d fallen for her so easily.  He was still falling, if he was honest. 

Images were swirling in Jamie’s head.  His jaw tensed.  He was so very angry with himself.  To not be here.  To not stop him.

She clipped off the last suture.  “You’ll have a scar.  A triangular scar,” she informed him.  Only then did her hand start to shake.  “God, Jamie,” she whispered, eyes filling with tears, “just an inch to the left and you would have hit-“

“Shhh, Sassenach.  We’ll no’ borrow trouble, aye?”  He slipped his hands over her hips, and under her shirt to rest on the small of her back.

She swallowed, looked him in the eye, and nodded.  “I need to bandage it.” She stepped away to wash her hands quickly at the kitchen sink, and then dug through her bag for a sterile gauze.  Gently, she applied the stark white cloth to her husband’s throat.  She could barely see for the tears clinging to her lashes. She turned her head to blink them away.  The idea of Jamie, or anyone being hurt because of her lack of judgement was too much. 

She felt his hand on her face, turning her towards him.  Eyes closed, she felt his thumbs brush the drops away.  

“I’m so sorry,” she breathed, so softly he might not have heard.  

His forehead came to rest on hers.  Leaning into him their breath mingled. Hers hitched as she tried not to sob outright.  His came in long calming breaths as if trying to stay in control.  

“Claire.”  She glanced up at him under lowered lids.  “Look at me, mo neighean donn.”  Swallowing hard, she met his gaze.  

“When we wed, we became one.  You have my name,” he gestured to the plaid draped over the sofa, “My clan.  My family.”  He used a finger to lift her chin higher, “and if necessary, the protection of my body, as well.”  

The dam broke.  

Sobs racked Claire such as he hadn’t seen since that day he found her feverish and exhausted on the stairs between their apartments.  He gathered her in and held her head against his shoulder, rocking her gently while the tension of the week came pouring out of her.  Her long fingers clutched at his shoulders, and naked chest trying to gain purchase, to hold on to something, anything.  

Jamie’s body was responding to its own tension.  Jet lag, adrenaline crash from his fight with Horrocks, and the pain from his wound were all taking its toll on him now.  He needed to sleep.  

“Claire.”  He pressed a kiss to her temple.  “Sassenach.”

She lifted her head, a soft hiccup escaping her as she tried to stop crying.

“Lie wi’ me?”

She nodded.  Grabbing the blanket from the sofa, she took her husband’s hand and walked with him to their bed.


“It was Murtagh.”

“Hmmm?” Claire mumbled, legs tangled with Jamie’s, her head next to his on the pillow.  

They had crawled into bed under twisted, and tortured sheets from Claire’s restless night.  They tussled a bit as Jamie tried to get Claire to shed some clothing layers, teasing her once again about how she wore too much to bed. Then finally, they curled together with the heavy duvet thrown over both of them.  The shared warmth soon lulled them to sleep.  

“Alec, I expected, of course,” Jamie said.  “I wasna so surprised to see Willie.  I thought he just had some papers for me to sign.  Business, ye ken.”  
Claire slowly came awake listening to the low rumble of Jamie’s voice. 

Understanding dawned.

“But when I saw Murtagh, weel, my knees buckled a bit.  I knew.  He’s the closest thing I have to a father.  And I remember thinkin’, why is a man who hates crowds, hates noise, at an airport?”  Jamie paused, and she felt his arm tighten around her waist.  “I never want to feel that kind of fear again.  Never.”

Claire moved then.  She rolled toward her husband at the same time his hand slid down to cup her bottom and lift her towards him.  She sprawled herself on him, finding his mouth and kissing him deeply.  She gripped his hair, turned his head to the angle she wanted and fused her mouth to his.  

She was wild, and a little rough.  He liked it.

Even when the stitches pulled a little, and made him hiss in his breath, Jamie let her take control.  He let her grab his hands and place them on her breasts, let her show him what she wanted.  

He understood.  

She was exorcising her own fears.  Fighting her own demons.  They would come together on her terms.  She would take her pleasure the way she wanted.  She would erase the memories of what that bastard tried to offer, and may have taken had Alec not been there.  If this was what Claire needed from him, then he would give it.  He left himself at her mercy.  It wasn’t easy.  He and Claire shared the same passions in bed.  They danced this dance a hundred times, giving and taking in equal measure.  Yet in this moment he understood instinctively that he needed to surrender himself to her control.  

When he tried to kiss her, she dodged him.  If he moved his hand somewhere else, she slapped at it until he put it back.  She nipped at his lips, scraped her teeth across his hip bone, and bit his thigh.  

It was the sweetest torture.  There was pleasure in the pain.    

She made him ask permission for everything.  To be kissed, to be touched.    

Permission to enter her body.

As their cries echoed around the bedroom, and she collapsed onto his chest, Jamie held his wife and tenderly stroked her back.  He felt the dampness on his skin from her tears.  His heart broke just a little.  “Shh, mo graidh, shh,” he whispered.  “He’s gone, Claire.  Gone for good.”

She stretched her neck to kiss the hollow of his throat, and saw the small red stain on the gauze.

“Did I hurt you?” she asked, caressing his jaw with the backs of her fingers.  

“Aye.  A bit.”  He brushed the damp curls away from her temple.  

“You should have told me to stop.”

“Nah,” Jamie said, giving her that lopsided smile she loved so much, “I was completely under yer power and happy to be there.”

10

And from all the smiles I’ve seen yours are the ones I crave for the most

“Our lives pass by so quickly that we don’t realize that there are so many precious moments to catch in [life]. In our daily life let’s record each and every moment and turn them into our memories. Let’s talk together, laugh together, sing together. That moment we share together unknowingly has already become special in our hearts. One month, you and I, the time we spent together, when we remember about this, it will be an amazing memory to us. That memory to you, I hope it will become your special daily life” - Taeyeon to her fans

#Happy28thTaeyeonDay

Aries: You are so very loved and so very special. I wish you could stop being so hard on yourself. You’re important and special and loved. Don’t destroy yourself, you’re so fucking beautiful.
 
Taurus: Smile. You made it. I know it doesn’t seem like it some nights, but fuck them. You. Made. It. Despite all the memories clawing at you, they can’t hurt you anymore.

Gemini: Close your eyes, find your peace. I know the demons and memories are tearing you into so many pieces right now, but you lived through the memories. They can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe.

Cancer: You’ve made progress, so much progress. You’ve won so many battles,, you’re winning the war. You can stop looking over your shoulder, because you can stop running from your past, it can’t hurt you.

Leo: Smile. Relax. Lay down and enjoy some peace and serenity without any noise. You’re always talking and sometimes I wonder if you really know what you’re saying.

Virgo: You’re doing your best, and it is more then enough. I know you are struggling and trying to find your own comfort zone, but it’s okay. You’re doing an amazing job of a situation that fucking sucks.

Libra: You’ve got a battle plan. A war path laid out before you. Even though you just want some peace. Grab your guns, and go to war one last time. It’S worth the reward, I promise.

Scorpio: Fight. Fight and win because now  is your hour. There’s no time for peace, not that you want any anymore. Things are coming to a head, put on your armor.

Sagittarius: You burned the person you thought you were. Leaving all your friends in the ashes. Maybe it was the right choice. It seems to serve you well these days.

Capricorn: You dont destroy mirrors, despite what you think. You are beautiful even though you cant seem to find it in yourself. We can all see it, and we all love you.
 
Aquarius: Forgive yourself. Then forgive everyone else. Because you may never get an apology, you may not even really deserve one, but forgive them anyway. holding on only hurts you.

Pisces: They cant drown out your voice this time. You will always be able to scream louder then they can blurr you out. White noise has nothing on the sound of your voice.

—  This weeks horoscope
Ms. Jealousy

Confusion crossed Maggie’s face as an unfamiliar text message tone went off in her back pocket while she sat at her desk trying to complete the mountain of paperwork she’d be assigned. As she reached into her pocket and pulled out a phone that felt very different to the touch, she quickly brought it around to examine it.

Yup. Just as she suspected. The phone wasn’t hers, but her girlfriend of almost 7 months’.

The phone was covered with a case that read “Be with you, may the force” with Yoda’s signature ears coming into view at the very bottom. (A birthday present from Winn and Alex had loved.)

She pressed the home button on the iPhone and looked at the message on the screen over the picture of Maggie and Alex laying together on their couch both looking up at the camera with large smiles. (What? It could be important!)

From Lucy :) :) (9:44 am): I’m coming to see your ass. It’s been too long. Hope you missed me a lot ;)

Maggie’s eyebrows furrowed and she immediately felt a flood of jealousy down her spine.

Who the fuck was Lucy? And what was she doing sending Maggie’s girlfriend winky faces?

Maggie had to text back. It was for science, right? She had to find out what the X was in the equation.

To Lucy :) (9:45 am): And why would I miss you?                      

Maggie knew that Alex liked to give attitude through all forms of communication, except when her and Maggie were alone and Alex was the sweetest, most gentle human Maggie had ever met, but that was strictly reserved for Maggie and sometimes Kara.

Another message came quickly after that, startling Maggie slightly.

From Lucy :) (9:45 am): Oh, come on. You miss me and you can’t even deny it. You’re probably excited to see me, but I know you and you like to be a grumpus. Let me know where you’ll be at noon. Can’t wait to see you ;)

Another fucking winky face. Maggie was seething.

She stood quickly and pulled her jacket on.

“Where are you going? Cap wants these papers done by Friday.” Her partner McConnell asked.

“I’ve got some business to take care of.” Maggie growled. “Let Cap I’m headed to the DEO on official business.”

“Want me to come? You know I dig a good fight.” The man smirked.

Maggie wanted to slap it off of his pale ass face. “No. This is business I can handle on my own.”

She made her way out of the precinct and to her squad car quickly, her anger fueling her tiny body to walk faster than usual.

It only took her 20 minutes to get to the DEO where she parked her car in the huge lot with all the Agents’. As she made her way into the large building, she tried to get her thoughts in order.

Was Alex really cheating on her?

Maggie felt her heart ache at the thought. She had fallen for Alex harder than she had ever fallen for anyone. How could she not? Alex was smart, beautiful, caring, loving, understanding, strong, and so much more. She made it a point to tell Maggie how much she loved her every single day. And when she wasn’t telling Maggie, she was showing her. Through kisses, small touches, drawn baths, food ready when Maggie got to their apartment, and many other ways.

If this was all true, Maggie would be ruined.

Tears pricked her eyes as she flashed her badge of clearance, the Alex had begged Pam to give to Maggie, to the guards watching the front. She pushed them back once cleared and headed straight the elevator.

15th floor.

There she found Kara, J’onn, Winn, and Alex all around the center panel going over something on Winn’s iPad.

Winn was the first to see her and his face lit up like a kid on his birthday. She knew that Winn thought she was one of the coolest people he’d ever met. Besides Alex of course.

“Hey, Maggie!”

Alex’s head shot up at the name the biggest smile spread across her face. If Maggie hadn’t been angry, her heart would have leapt into her throat at the sight.

(Who was she kidding? Her heart was going crazy at the sight of the woman she loved.)

“Hey, Mags. What are you doin’ here? I thought you were caught up with paperwork all day?” Alex asked, the smile never leaving her face.

But Maggie really wasn’t in the mood for small talk.

“Can I talk to you?” Maggie asked, the emotion heavy in her voice. She glanced at Kara, J’onn and Winn who were all watching on with pointed looks. “Alone.”

Alex’s face showed confusion for a minute and Kara heard her heart rate pick up and J’onn heard her mind begin racing through what could possibly be wrong.  

“Uh, sure. Let’s go to my office.” Alex stated with a shaky voice.

As they walked away, Kara turned to J’onn with questioning eyes. He sighed back. “This isn’t going to be a pretty conversation.”

Maggie and Alex reached Alex’s private office a couple minutes later. The office was small, but nice. It was the size of an average bedroom and was furnished with a desk, a couch, a small television on the wall, and a twin sized bed.

It was where Maggie found herself napping while Alex was finishing work in her lab and Maggie didn’t want to be alone in their apartment. Alex would often finish in the lab and press kisses all over Maggie’s face to wake her up and take her home.

So many amazing memories.

Tears pricked at Maggie’s eyes again.

Alex sat on the bed and Maggie opted to stand with her arms crossed and her lips pursed. There was a few moments of silence as Maggie tried to get her emotions together in order to begin the conversation.

Sensing the emotions on her perfect girlfriend’s face, Alex decided to start the conversation. “Baby, whatever it is, you can talk to me.” She stated softly. The fear in her voice was evident.

Maggie took a deep breath. “I’m only going to ask you this one time, and you better not fucking lie to me.”

“Okay.” Alex nodded.

“…Are you cheating on me?” Maggie whimpered out, her eyes filling with tears as she got it out.

Alex’s eyes widened at the question and she immediately shot up from the bed. “What?! No!”

Maggie pulled out the phone to show to Alex with the message still on the screen. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Alex! Who the fuck is Lucy? And why is she asking if you miss her? And why is she coming to see you?”

Alex’s eyes quickly read the message on the screen. “Wait Lucy? Like Major Lucy Lane?” Alex cocked her head to the side. “Babe, Lucy is my boss. Her dad is the General. She oversees the desert base of the DEO and handles all of the affairs we have with The White House in D.C.”

Oh.

“W-What?”

Alex’s face immediately softened. “Lucy was one of my best friends.”

Maggie felt so so stupid.

“Oh.” Maggie swallowed.

“Yeah. And I never mentioned her because we had a bit of a falling out before she left and I really haven’t had the time to think about it, you know, with dealing with aliens trying to kill me every day.” She chuckled.

Maggie looked down at the ground and bit her lower lip. She felt so guilty for accusing Alex of cheating. Alex had never been anything but amazing to her, and she might have just ruined it all.

“Hey,” Alex softly stated, stepping forward to lift Maggie’s head to meet her eyes, “it’s okay. I understand.”

Maggie let tears fill her eyes again, but this time in remorse. A few fell before she got out a strangled, “I’m so sorry, Alex.”

“Maggie, it really is okay.” Alex smiled at her girlfriend, reaching up to wipe the tears away with her thumbs. “I mean, I get why you got so upset. If I had read a message like that with a winky face from a girl in your phone that I didn’t know, I would be pissed too.”

“But I just assumed. I didn’t even give you time to explain.”

“Again, I probably would have done the same thing. We can’t help our emotions.”

Yet again, Maggie was shown how amazing her girlfriend was and she was falling in love with her all over again.

“How did I get so lucky?” Maggie asked herself out loud while she reached up to cup Alex’s face.

“Eh. I’m not all that.”

“No. You’re everything. I love you so much.” Maggie whispered.

“I love you, too.” Alex leaned down to place a sweet kiss on Maggie’s lips. “Now, can we just freak out a little because Lucy is coming?! She’s always the life of the party, and to be honest, you’re probably going to love her.”

“I bet I will.” Maggie laughed. “But she isn’t allowed to send you winky faces.”

Maggie pretty much had a patent on that and it was enough to set Alex’s body aflame.

“Good luck with that. That woman is a flirt.” Alex chuckled.

Jealousy flared up in Maggie’s abdomen again. “If she flirts with you, she’s gonna go from Major to Minor in about 20 seconds.”

“Calm down, Ms. Jealous pants.” Alex joked, poking Maggie in the stomach. “I only have eyes for you.”

“You better.” Maggie joked back.

There was a pause and Alex gasped. “That makes so much sense! Of course I had your phone. I was really confused as to why Lena was thanking me about the ‘tips’ I’d given her.”

Maggie couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her mouth at the sight of Alex’s grimace. “Sounds about right.”

“Gross!”

Bonus:

It took one look at Lucy Lane to have Maggie draped all over Alex all night. The woman was beautiful. Actually, beautiful was an understatement.

Hell, if Maggie was single, she’d be all in.

And Alex was right. Lucy was a flirt. And Maggie was pissed.

Maggie decided at that moment that she most definitely did not like Lucy Lane. 

For Ray! (Happy Birthday, @comebackbehere23)

(Below is how I imagined Maggie’s face when she was pissed. Smol angry marshmallow ;) 

Originally posted by deohsogay

Beauty and the Beast just brought back so many childhood memories. Brb I’ll just be there shedding tears in a corner.

I loved that they travelled so close with the original story. Remakes or live-action versions tend to change so much that the magic gets lost. But at the same time there was more and Belle was more powerful and Gaston was more of an idiot.

The CGI can throw you off a bit but honestly I stopped caring and just went with it. There were perfect musical moments (Be Our Guest, Beauty and the Beast) but Gaston was just amazing.

Also I’m in love with Luke Evans now (not the character ew) but my god that man has some pipes.

Loved Emma, she’s perfect for this part. Ewan McGregor A+! Josh Gad as LeFou was one of the best things of the entire movie.

People clapped at the end. I will try to watch it again just for the nostalgia.

★ Hot Off the Press / Brandon Larracuente ★

Words: 1000
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Clarifications 

The surprise you had planned for today was not only for your friends and family, but for Brandon as well. You knew that when you found out you were pregnant that you would ask about the gender the moment you could. When you originally proposed the idea of surprising your family and friends to your partner, Brandon requested to find out at the same time as them-wanting to experience it with them, making it that extra bit more special.

You had known the gender for almost a whole week now and you wanted nothing more than to share the news with Brandon, but you respected his wishes and kept it hidden.

Everyone would be arriving at your home in just less than an hour and you were practically counting down the seconds.

A hand rested on your shoulder, causing you to turn your attention to the person behind you. Smiling, you rested your hand on top of Brandon’s.

“I’m so nervous,” he murmured, looking around your lounge rom that you both had decorated the night earlier in preparation.

Shaking your head, you leant into him, “Don’t be.”

He kissed the top of your head, “I’m so grateful to be sharing this with you, to be taking this step in life together.”

Closing you eyes, you took a deep breath, “I wouldn’t want to be going through this with anyone but you,” you whispered. “We’ve created a life,” you laughed. “We’re bringing a brand new human into this world and I am just so…I just have so many emotions,” you admitted.

“Like what?” Brandon questioned, moving his hand off your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist.

You moved your hands to rest atop of his, “I’m just so happy and so excited, but I’m also so incredibly nervous,” you told him.

“We’re going to do this together,” he said firmly. “And we have so many amazing people surrounding us that are more than willing to help out,” he reminded you, trying to reassure you. “But I know what you mean. We are going to be raising a child, be responsible for another life-it’s all so overwhelming to think about. I know it won’t be easy, there will be so many challenges and hurdles,” he said. “But I can grantee that we will raise this baby with all we have, share all the love we can harness and more.”

Shifting your head so you could see his face, you raised a hand to his cheek, “I love you,” you declared, moving his head closer to yours and kissing him before he could reply.

You were growing more and more excited-something you didn’t even realise you were capable of-as one by one, your friends and family started arriving. You gathered them all out in the yard when you were sure everyone had turned up.

You spun around slowing in a circle, taking in what you had done earlier this morning. The streamers and banners had all maintained their patterns and scattered around were blue and pink balloons-all filled with confetti of a certain colour.

You had spread flower petals around the grass, leaving the centre spare of anything.

Standing in the undecorated patch, you held a hand out to Brandon who happily joined you in the yard, visibly nervous about what was to come.

“Before we do this,” you began, keeping your voice low so only he could hear you. “I need to thank you for always being by my side. You’ve been my rock through so much all these years and I know that there are many times in the past where you have been the sole reason I got through the day.”

Brandon pulled you closer by your hips, gripping you firmly as if to make sure you wouldn’t leave him.

“I’m so ready to start this next chapter in our life,” you laughed, hearing the strain in your voice as you tried to not let your tears fall. “We’ve made so many memories together already and I know that our life is only just beginning and that we have so many years to make even more-especially now that our family is expanding. Basically, I just want you to know that I am so honoured to have you in my life and to be having this baby with you and-”

Brandon cut your rambling off with a kiss, much like you had done earlier to him. As your arms moved to wrap around his neck, you signalled for your friends and family to pop the balloons closest to them.

The almost unanimous bangs and cheers from those around you snapped Brandon out of his trance and he pulled away from you in a hurry.

Your eyes never left him as you scanned his face while he took in the sight around you both, watching the pink and purple confetti cover the ground and those around you.

His watery eyes met yours and you felt your stomach tighten, moving your hands to his face, you laughed as you wiped away the few stray tears that had fallen. “Please don’t cry,” you murmured gently. “You’ll make me cry,” you continued, feeling your own eyes water once more.

Brandon pulled you even closer to him and lifted you off your feet in a tight hug, “We’ve having a baby girl,” he whispered in your ear before kissing your neck. “I’m going to have another princess in my life,” he laughed.

“We’re having a girl,” you confirmed with a grin as your feet met the ground. You could hear the cheers and happy chattering of the people around you, but your focus was on Brandon. “Are you happy?” you asked, stroking his cheek.

He nodded, resting his forehead against yours, “I can’t even put it in words how I’m feeing right now,” he answered quietly, his voice on the brink of cracking. “I love you so much,” he insisted, capturing your lips in yet another kiss.

Arrow 5x22 “Missing” Review: But Who Cares?

I’m going to be honest I liked/disliked this episode. I rather enjoyed the parts they did well in my opinion and the rest I was just “meh” about.

I cannot overstate how hard this was to type out. Typing is quite a chore right now with one hand bandaged up. But I figured I’d hen-peck my way through because if I wait until after the bandages are removed, no one will frakking care about this review. I don’t know if I’d even been interested in typing it up, tbh.

Anyway. There are no gifs because I’m too tired and in a lot of pain. Sorry there is no pretty to look at. But it took me forever (over the course of a few days) to transcribe this from my hand written version and I’m running out of time if I want it up before the finale.

What They Got Right

Queen Siblings

I like how Oliver’s character growth these last few episodes have really come out in his scenes with Thea. It adds a nice depth to their relationship. Oliver’s gone from lecturing and ordering his sister around to listening to her and letting her make her own choices (like he did in 5x08 when she wanted to stay with their parents) and sharing wisdom he has learned.

That opening scene with Oliver and Thea was great. I loved the banter—she was absolutely trolling her brother because she knew about the party. She was getting him all flustered; it was her way of trying to push Oliver along on this Reconciliation Road. I love Thea. They had best not sideline her again next year for zoo animals.

In many ways, Oliver has become Thea’s Felicity. He’s not really seeing his family with rose colored glasses anymore; he sees them for the flawed, complicated people they were, or in Thea’s case, is. He sees Thea truly as her own person and not the idealized version he’s held in his head for so long. But he still loves her. He still believes in her. (Does this sound familiar?)

Thea questions whether she’s changed for the better in four years. Oliver has no doubts. He says, “Being happy doesn’t mean you don’t have issues. It just means you’re working on them.” The war holler that came out of my mouth startled everyone else in my house. But for the love of God people we have character growth. It looks sexy AF on him. Yum.

Oliver is helping Thea harness the light that is still inside of her simply by believing that it’s there and one day she’ll start to believe it too. The impact of Felicity on Oliver has now reached Thea. That is why this future version of the Queen family is going to be the best ever. All the feels.

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When I look into your eyes every morning when I wake up; how to describe all the feelings,all the tenderness that gushes out?
Because when I look into your eyes I see the quiet history of us, a love of twenty years now;so many shared memories, so many challenges,so much laughter but also tears. I doubt anyone but us can understand what we’ve sacrificed to be together; so that every morning we can wake up to each others’ smiling stare.
—  e.v.e
An Ounce of Relief

A 4x21 coda fic hastily written and quickly posted- enjoy!


Jemma doesn’t know how long they sit there, holding each other, absorbing each other’s tears and pain until it mixes together and they can no longer tell what belongs to whom. They just know intrinsically that it is theirs. The pain is different for each of them, with their own individual traumas to work through, but they cannot help but want to carry each other’s burdens as their own, like the unbreakable unit that they are. Unbreakable. Jemma grips tightly to that thought as she stares warily down the road they have ahead of them.

Fitz’s breathing begins to slow a bit as he wipes away the latest wave of tears on his sleeve. He slowly begins to look up at Jemma, gaze lowered until the very last moment to allow her all the time in the world to look away like he expects her to. She keeps her gaze firm, but soft as his eyes meet hers, putting all of her energy into conveying the love she feels for him. They finally meet, blue eyes full of pain and regret and heartbreak, brown eyes full of a different kind of pain and heartbreak, both full of love. His eyes widen in surprise and he’s only able to hold her gaze for a second before his face crumbles again and a new wave of sobs erupt through him. This time he turns fully towards her, burying his head in her neck as the tears fall. She wraps her arms around him and tries to find more room in her heart for his pain.

He suddenly becomes overwhelmed with the need to erase the last thing he said to her, feels the words bursting through him with a force he can barely believe is possible given how utterly exhausted he is. “You mean everything to me,” he whispers into her neck. She smiles and places a lingering kiss on his temple, willing it to bury its way into his brain, his heart, to sooth some of the hurt, fill in some of the gaping wounds.

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DIVED IN TOO DEEP || Sirius x Reader

A/N: angst, but also fluff, friendship, hinted Sirius x Reader.But some things are best left unsaid.”


“Please Lily, don’t cry, don’t cry!“ You said, furiously wiping away a few of your own tears. 

A year ago, when you walked through the big, wooden doors and into the entrance hall as an exchange student, you never would have guessed that saying goodbye would end up being this hard. Even if it was only a 12 month long visit, it was the time of your life. You found friends you couldn’t imagine being without anymore. You fell in love, and you never said a word about it.

A quick glance over at the boys and their serious faces, their sad eyes and especially Sirius’ rigid and tense body, told you that now wasn’t the right time to confess it. But then again, was there ever a right time?

“I’m sorry, I’m just going to m-miss you s-so much!” Lily cried out and flung her arms around your neck. You staggered backwards but automatically wrapped your arms around the red haired girl. You never really had a friend quite as special as her. “I will miss you, too. Promise to write me whenever you can, okay?” You mumbled into her hair, trying hard to stifle the sobs that wanted to escape your lips. You heard her sniff and then she pulled back and gave you a weak, watery but honest smile. “I promise, I swear, I can give you the pinky promise.” She laughed through her tears and you couldn’t help but join in. The pinky promise was something the two of you developed fairly early in your friendship. Without hesitating you held out your finger and hooked it with hers. “You’re my best friend.” You whispered and looked into her familiar green eyes. That sentence held so many words left unspoken, so many thank you’s and so many memories that Lily burst into tears again. “I love you.” She replied, always having been more vocal about her feelings. With a lingering kiss to her cheek and a last smile you turned to the others.

Remus, Sirius, James, Peter and Alice stood about a foot away and watched the scene unfold with mixed feelings, none of which were positive. They let you into their hearts so quickly and now they had to say goodbye. Everything felt surreal to them.

Peter and Alice were the first to step forward and hug you goodbye. It wasn’t as long lasting or as painful as Lily’s goodbye, but you were grateful for that. You hugged them both at the same time and thanked them for the beautiful moments and let them go so they could join Lily and try to cheer her up.

James was the next to walk up to you and without a word he pulled you into his arms and pressed a kiss to your hair. “Stay safe, little one.” “Don’t call me that.” You protested weakly, secretly loving the nickname. “Keep an eye on Lily, okay?” You mumbled and looked into his eyes, needing his confirmation. “I would never let anything happen to her.” You smiled at him and slapped the back of his head gently. “Tell her how you feel, James.” The faint hint of a blush could be seen on his cheeks but then he nodded. “I will soon. What about you though?” “How did you know?” You looked at him with round eyes, surprise flashing across your features. “I saw the way you look at Sirius, little one. He’s my best mate, I’m bound to notice.” He grinned and flicked your forehead lovingly. “It would just make everything worse don’t you think?” “Unfortunately, I agree. The two of you would have been a dream team.” James sounded as sad as you felt. With a croaked out and broken “Goodbye James ..” you kissed his cheek as well and then made your way to Remus.

Remus smiled at you, refusing to let the sadness get the better of him. Not yet, not as long as you were still here. “Watch out for yourself, okay?” He mumbled into your hair, as soon as you stepped into his open arms. You nodded and told him to do the same. “I need you to be happy Remus, promise me you will try to be happy ..” You took his face into your hands and rested your forehead against his. Out of all the boys, as much as you loved all of them, you always had a soft spot for Remus. He’s been through so much and you never failed to remind him that he deserved so much more. “For you I will try.” His voice cracked at the end and he buried his face in your shoulder for a few precious seconds before lifting you up and spinning you around. Both of you laughed a little and then he slowly let go of you and met your eyes. “I ..” He couldn’t finish the sentence but he didn’t need to. “I know, I love you, too.” Now the sadness was overwhelming and he knew he had to leave or he would cry. You nodded, understanding him without words. “Go, it’s okay.”

At the same time as Remus left in the direction of the lake, you reached Sirius. He looked down at you, his storm grey eyes full emotions. “Do you really have to leave? Are you sure the year is over?” He asked half-jokingly. “I wish it wasn’t.” No other words were shared, as if you were one being with one mind, you stepped into each other’s arms. You wrapped yours around his waist and hid your face in his chest, while Sirius nuzzled his nose into your hair and rubbed your back soothingly. None of you knew how long you stood there, none of you cared who was still left to watch. After what seemed like ages you let go of each other. “There are so many things I want to say.” You breathed out, hands still resting on his hips, not yet ready to let him go. “I know, me too.” He stroked a curl of your hair behind your ear and leaned down to press a lingering, gentle and loving kiss to your forehead. He had to close his eyes as pain surged through him so intense that he felt it almost physically. “But some things are best left unsaid.” He finished his sentence and finally let go of you. You thought that nothing you ever experienced in your life, hurt quiet as much as this moment.

Stop this torture (Chanyeol (EXO) x You)

“Stop! This isn’t what I meant!!” “Oh really?! Then why are you shouting at me? Why are you raising your voice at me?!” He looked surprised for a second and then opened his lips to speak but you quickly cut him off, just like that. “Why are we even talking about this? Why are we arguing about the stuff that couples breaking up talk about?” Asking that, your eyes filled with tears and soon, a few fell down your cheeks. You turned your head to the left and quickly after saying that, left. You stormed out of the room, not even giving him a chance to speak.

It was the first time you two had faught like that.

You ran down the stairs, and came into the hallway, where all the other members stood. It was obvious they were evesdroping. You looked up at them but they quickly looked away. You took in a deep breath and walked out quickly.

It was raining. Pouring down like there was no tomorrow. You had no umbrella with you, but that didn’t even matter. You were already soaking wet from the tears running down your cheeks.

How could he hurt you like that? How could he act like this? Why would he do any of this? You knew he didn’t like to see you cry, but yet he made you cry. Drops of shattered faith were falling down your cheeks, remembering what he had said.

“Why would he do that?” you asked, stopping on the side of the road. You looked up, and close your eyes, feeling cold rain mixing with your hot tears. “Does he really… Not love me anymore?”

Having a sudden realization, your body froze. He wasn’t even comming to get you, was he? He wasn’t even running after you, was he? Did he even care for you, all this time, at all?

You turned around to look back, expecting to see his frame, calling your name, running towards you. But… There were only shadows, shadows of cars and trees and houses. Everything was so dark, so distant. There was no light, there was no that particular blooming flower, there was no him.

You could feel your chest get heavy and your knees letting go. Before you knew it, you were already on the floor, on the pavement you two had so many memories on. Tears kept coming into your eyes, kept falling and falling. Just like the cold, heavy rain that was mercily falling down your shoulders.

Would he really let go off all this memories you had together so easily?

You stood up and dragged your hurting body further away from him, from his arms, from his embrace, from his scent, his touch, from your… home.

You stopped a few blocks down the road, cold hitting to your bones. You stepped under a roof, and that roof happened to be exactly the roof of your favourite place. The restaurant where you used to go all the time. Every date you had, you had come to this place. From the first one, to the last one. You remembered the first time he took you there, all shy and excited. He introduced you to the owner, a small lady, in her 40s. She was so excited to meet you, she had tears in her eyes and all. She held your hand for the longest time ever, listened to you and practically questioned you like you were at a police station. She was so cute.

You smiled, the memories just floating over you.

Your head started spinning. You felt like the world is turning colder, the ground simmed so comfotable for a moment. And just like that, in a split second, your lifeless body was sitting up against the restaurants window.

“Oh, are you waking up?” a familiar voice stated. You slowly opened your eyes, and closed them a few times, to adjust to the mild light in the room. “What were you doing outside in this rain, sweetheart?” she asked, almost heartbroken. You looked around the room. Where in the world were you?


“Auntie? Where am I?” she spun around and looked at you directly in your eyes. “I found you outside, unconcious. I was just closing up,” she said.

The room suddenly went dead silent. The silence was awkward. “Were you two fighting?”


Hearing her say that, you could feel tears in your eyes builting up again. “Auntie…” you whispered. “I… I think Chanyeol doesn’t… love me anymore.”

She looked at you again, this times eyes wide at you. “What?! That is-” “A complete nonsense!!” A tall frame ran through the door, cutting the autie off mid sentance. She stood up quickly and hurried to him. “Oh, you came, Chanyeol? Oh my, you’re wet! Come-” “Don’t worry auntie, I’m okay.”

He forced a smile at her, and then straightened his face at you. He then stepped to you, slowly, yet somehow quickly. His face was wet, his hair wet, his clothes soaking. Was he out, waiting for you? Searching for you?

“Chanyeol…” you whispered, tears coming to your eyes once again. He kneeled down next to the bed and looked at your face. His eyes were red, his eyebags showing, his nose red as well, and the tears were there, too.

“Chanye-” “Are you insane?” he breathed out, almost angrily. You felt as if you were going to fight again. His tone was showing the colores of the one from before.

“Do you know how much I was searching for you?” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears that eventually overflew as he looked at you. Your heart broke at the sight.

“Chanyeol…” you whispered, and sat up a bit, pulling him in for a hug. He wrapped his arms around you so tightly, your lungs filled with his scent.

“Oh my god, you’re burning!” he said, pulling back to look at you. You caught your eyes into his and just smiled.

He was still there, still yours, still the blooming flower that shone up your world. He was still there.

“Thank you, auntie.” he said, zipping up the hoodie she gave him. “You should be more carefull.” she breathed out, with an angry tone. “You two will be found out if you keep doing this.”

And yes, she was right. You shouldn’t be running around together. Neither should you show up outside together. Neither should you have a date. Neither holding hands. Nothing, right? If you get found out you would have to let him go, right?

He looked at you, and smiled. “You know what, auntie?” He switched his eyes to her. “I don’t care.”

“We should go back, ___.” you nodded, sitting up completly. Your head was hurting so bad, your whole body just burning in fever. You stepped out of the bed and immediatly lost balance. Chanyeol quickly grabbed you. “ ___! Are you okay?” he asked, shaken. You looked up at him and nodded, but close your eyes and fadingly smiled. That was the end. Chanyeol knew you so well, he knew right away you weren’t okay. He sighed, kissed your forhead and pulled you up, holding you in his arms now.

“Thank you, auntie. I’ll take her back now.” She smiled, and gave him an umbrella. Chanyeol smiled at her and bent over, kissing her cheek. She waved you goodbye.

“Oh my god!! Is she okay?!” The boys came running up to Chanyeol, quickly helping him get you in and into the bed. Chanyeol didn’t say anything, he just nodded to everyones questions. You knew his voice would break if he spoke.

You felt a light press against your forhead. A smooth moist trace was left behind, cooling you down.

You slowly opened your eyes, adjusting to the light in the room. You looked up, and saw his frame turned slightly to the side. He didn’t see you were awake. His back was bent, and he was just putting the wet towel away. His face was straight, at least that’s what simmed to look like taking a quick look.

He turned back around, closing his eyes before turning completly. Two big drops fell down his cheeks, and he put his head down. You could feel your heart break at the sight.

You gulped hardly and felt a tear fall down your temple. You raised your hand up to his face and brushed away the tear, your touch making him open his eyes quickly. He turned away and wipped his cheeks, then turned back, smiling. The smile was so fake, it was already painfull to watch.

“Chanie…” you whispered. He looked at you and you could see tears in his eyes builting up again.

For a second, he pushed them back, but then, just broke. He let them fall and stopped smiling. His nose became all red and runny.

“I- I’m so sorry, ___…” he whispered and you pulled him down into a hug. He burried his head in your neck and shoulder and just cried. You felt tears slipping down your cheeks as well, holding him tight.

“Why are you apologizing, baby? It’s all my fault.” you breathed out, with pain clearly showing in your voice. He pulled himself off of you and shook his head.

“It was my fault.” he claimed, but truthfully? It was both of you. It was both of your fault. “It was my fault, too.”

“I’m sorry.” Both saying that in one breath, you smiled up at him. He smiled back.

“Don’t leave me, ___.” he whispered, burrying his face back into your neck. “How could I ever?”

He pulled away and leaned in smiling widely before closing the gap between you and locking his lips with yours.

“I love you,” he whispered between the kisses. “I love you so much.” His deep voice and his hot breath and his moist, gentle lips… It just gave you a sense of relieve. You were finally back in his arms. In your home.

He helped you sit up and wipped away the tears that were drying on your wet cheeks. “God, you’re still burning.” he sighed, checking your temperature. Your throat was dry, your cheeks and chest just on fire. You could feel your body being weak but that disn’t matter now.

“You should rest,” he whispered, ruffling your hair. “Come here.” he stood up and made you sit on the side of the bed. He then came back with a sweater and socks, and a hair brush along with a hair tie. He leaned in and gave you a gentle smile, then pressed his lips against your forhead.

He changed your shirt, giving you the one he brought. It was filled with his scent, full of it. You could get high of only this.

He then bent over and kneeled, pulling one of your socks down and placing a kiss on your ankle. He relieved a sigh and pulled the socks he brought on. They were fluffy and big, cozy and warm. He did the same with the other one.

He then stood back up and kissed your lips once, just a small kiss, a gentle one. He then looked at you and smiled, caressing your cheeks with his hands.

“Turn,” he said gently. You did as he ordered and felt his get on the bed behind you. He told you to face forward and kissed the top of your head gently.

He then took the hair brush and brushed it through your hair. He then gently pulled them up into a ponytail, and then curled them up into a messy bun. It really was messy, but you loved it because it was him that made it.
“Oh my god,” he breathed out looking at it. He then touched it and bursted out laughing. “Stooop, it’s perfect!” you laughed out as well, turning around, kissing him. He brushed his finger on your nose and smiled, giving it a peck.

He tucked you in and went downstairs, saying he’ll bring you some soup.

For a few minutes you were alone, and all you could think about was his crying face. You had made him cry and that was the most hurtfull thing ever.

“Aaand~ here it is! It’s not the best soup you had eaten, but… I made it with love.” he whispered, smiling. You took a sip, and really, it was a bit unsalted, and had a bit of a stramge taste, but it was still delicious. You could feel the love he put in it.

You smiled at him, ‘mmmmm’-ing to say it’s good. He laughed excitingly and clapped. “You like it?” he asked excited, and you just nodded.

After watching you eat, he quickly put away the plate and tucked in with you. You protested at first, knowing he might get sick as well. But in the end, it’s always as he wants, and this time it was no different.

“I love you.” he breathed out after staring at you for a while. He took in a deep breath and raised his hand up to carress your cheek. His eyes made contact with yours and he just stared again.

“I don’t know what I would do without you,” he said. “I wouldn’t know how to live.” he whispered, his breath cracking. You took in a deep breath, pulling your hand up to his cheek. “I would die,” his eyes filled with tears. “I almost made it true.” “Oh, Chanie…” you whispered, seeing tears slip past his eyelashes. He took in a deep breath and pulled you into a tight hug. “Never leave me again, never.” he breathed out, his voice vibrating through his chest. You could feel his heart beat fast, and his scent just filled you up. This is it. This is the feeling you live for.

“I would never leave you,” you whispered against his chest. “I love you too much.” You looked up and smiled at him, your smile bringing a smile on his cheeks. “I love you, Chanyeol. I love you.”

He quickly pulled you into a kiss, and his lips were so soft, so gentle, so moist and tender your heart was melting.


HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!! 💙💙💙

I can’t help falling in love with you

Hello everyone! So, this request sat in my ask box for a while and it was because I had a tiny writers block… but yeah, here it is! Enjoy! The movies/books I took the quotes from are the following:
Dirty Dancing
The Notebook
Sleepless in Seattle
Sense and Sensibility

Request: Hi I wanted to ask if you could do a one shot where the reader works on supernatural and is dating Grant Gustin and she gets called to stage and he surprises her by singing a song (preferably the Tyler Joseph version of can’t help falling in love with you) and then he proposes to her and a bunch of fluff at the end? If you can that would be awesome because your stories are amazing
Pairing: Grant Gustin x Reader
Words: 1′185
Warning: Fluff? Loads of fluff?


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Its been exactly 10 years since the show ended. Ten years ago we said goodbye to our best friends. what an amazing show, what an amazing cast. This show has taught me a lot. Its so relatable. no matter how much I talk about it and how perfect it is, it still not enough. It has brought to us so many memories, tears, laughter, and joy. we all have a special place for f.r.i.e.n.d.s in our hearts if its not what our hearts own. The reason I got through so much in my life. The light to my tunnel. It will be forever the only tv show I want to watch in my spare time. Thank you Marta Kauffman, David Crane, and Kevin Bright for creating this wonderful show. Thank you Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt Leblanc, Matthew Perry, and David Schwimmer for being best friends and for being such a perfect example of a perfect cast. I can’t thank you enough. Nothing can ever be compared to friends. We would kill to see a reunion, see you all together again, just like how you were 10 years ago. 

Does anyone know how happy I am when I see two full grown murderers fighting like 3 year olds? I had waited so long for conflict and the Gotham universe gave it to me. Best thing between Riddler and penguin in this entire season. So many childhood memories revisited there. I wish to see them tear at each others throats again.

(p.s. I don’t care if you are not fond of my opinion on this matter.)

Say what you will but this is fucking iconic. This is how everything started for them and myself. I haven’t listened to this song and watched the video in forever and my eyes started tearing up because it brings back so many beautiful memories. This song has a special place in my heart as well as the whole Appetite album. Nothing can get me more hyped ❤️