so many ill beats on this

This is not just a booty transformation it’s a recovery transformation as well. On the left is when I relapsed into my eating is disorder and I was eat about 800 calories maybe less, I was restricting myself of most foods and was determined to eat 100% pure all the time. My meals were planed at a specific time, my mental health was shit and I would cry myself to sleep every night because I was so tired of living a life of restriction. I hated myself for being “weak” and felt so incredibly alone, and was fixated on the thought of being skinny. On the right is me now! I’m eating wtf I want and when I want it, I’m listening to my body, practicing initiative eating and self love everyday. I talk or write about my feelings, I lift heavy weights because that’s what I’m passionate about, but I don’t take exercising to the extreme anymore and if I feel tired and lethargic I don’t go to the gym. YES I still struggle, but I am patient with myself. I surround myself with people who bring positivity into my life and follow people who inspire me to reach my goals like @_kellyu @jenbretty @omgkenzieee @selfloveandstrength @gabbyscheyen and many more. Don’t give up on yourself and don’t beat yourself up. You are worthy of so much more. Live life the way you want to live it, not the way you see someone else live their life. Eat the pizza and feel damn proud of yourself for conquering your inner demons🌷

toy-flower  asked:

You mention that Steve's got social anxiety in some of your posts. That's super interesting to me bc he seems so independent and confident otherwise like he'll tell you exactly what he thinks of your moral stance. and do you think any of his isolation comes from that anxiety or is it simply just one of his coping mechanisms for his ptsd?

Oh, Steve’s anxiety has been there from day one, especially when he’s in a situation where he is very uncomfortable. He fidgets, he fake-laughs, he - when tiny - has a habit of smoothing his fringe, he babbles around women he likes (that whole “I got beat up there, there, there” conversation. Oh Steve, sweetie, no).

In many cases, anxiety can be triggered by your surroundings and the way people treat you. First big trigger is the fact that Steve would have grown up during the Great Depression, in a time when the poorest got poorer and were shafted time and time again. They would be struggling for work, for money, even for food, especially in New York with such a huge population, which is bound to be a high-pressure environment.

And then there’s the fact that Steve was disabled. He had so many illnesses that would have marked him out as different. He was used to being considered weak and helpless. Look at all the times he tells Bucky he can fend for himself and that he doesn’t need help, something he has clearly said over and over again. He doesn’t want to be the burden that he considers himself. There’s a lot of self-loathing wrapped up in it. He doesn’t feel like he’s worth anything unless he can be useful and do something.

It was much clearer when he was skinny!Steve, the stubborn little mook from Brooklyn, before he ended up a superhero. Watch the scene before he goes out on the stage as Cap for the first time, his uncertainty and expressing his nervousness and looking fearful. Watch his expression when he gets on the stage for the first time.

That’s where the change happened: Cap is a role for him. Cap is big and strong and no-nonsense. Cap punched Hitler. Cap is a hero. Cap will call you out when he thinks your morals are in question.

The trouble is that while Cap has some of Steve’s traits, Cap isn’t Steve. Cap is the idealised version. Cap is what Steve aspires to be and he wears the name like his mask. Cap is how he thinks he should be and what he wanted to be. Cap will never be treated like he’s fragile. Cap can survive anything you can throw at him. Cap can get smashed off buildings and get up and keep going without complaint (even if he’s probably bleeding internally). Cap can stand up to anyone and not end up bleeding in a back alley.

Steve, on the other hand, is the man who goes and hides in a bombed out pub to cry about his dead friend, so no one can see him being weak. Steve is the man who, when confronted with someone asking about the ice, retreats behind his mask again.  He does it time and again and he only lets people see the real him when he trusts them. Peggy and Bucky could see right through him, but they knew him before the serum and they knew exactly where his issues stemmed from. Sam and Nat definitely got there in CA:TWS, along with Wanda in CA:CW.

Tony, though… I feel bad for Tony, because he’s friends with Cap, but he just doesn’t get Steve at all. He doesn’t see that so many of Steve’s issues come down to his past, who he was, what he lived through before the serum. There’s a degree of privilege going on there (Manhattan millionaire versus a poorly sick Irish son of the Great Depression), plus there’s probably the fact Howard Stark never bothered to mention much about Steve’s backstory aside from “small and skinny and I made him sexy”.

But back to Steve: it all stems from the fact that Steve remembers when he was considered (and more specifically considered himself) useless and worthless and no matter that he’s now a superhero, that’s not something he can forget. He holds onto the Cap mantle so fiercely because it let him feel worthwhile and useful. Steve isolates himself by hiding himself and his many, many issues. The PTSD definitely doesn’t help, because of his tendency to hide when he’s hurting because of that whole “don’t need help” self-loathing issue he’s had since day one.

• to find a cure

nonnie requested: Savitar!Barry x Reader: the reader is the love of his life–his goddess–but is terminally ill and in a coma. He travels through out time, killing and torturing whoever necessary to find the cure for the reader. The cure is found and the reader lives. Angsty start with a fluffy waking up reunion at the end.

A/N: So this request came in and I decided to write it out, I still apologize for lack of writing. I will get there soon guys. As seen above there are going to be major warnings in this as it’s going to be a rather dark imagine in here as there is killing, torturing, blood, and other topics in here. I’m warning you now before you decide to click read more as some of those topics can be rather triggering that are present in the imagine. Please don’t come into my inbox of saying that you were triggered as I only show you one paragraph before doing the read more for the rest, I warned you about it. I apologize for any medical related topics or how Savitar decided to torture/kill. It is rather lengthy and there is some fluff towards the end! Laptop should be will be up as soon after my mum adds the antivirus software on it tomorrow since it needs to be fully charged, I’m so excited and I think imagines will be up much faster. Ships are closed for the time being and as always requests are open unless stated otherwise by me!

Originally posted by justbarryallen

                                Relationship(s): Savitar! Barry/Reader

Savitar watched as you who laid so peacefully on the hospital bed with the heart monitor beeping in the background, it made him upset that the doctors were discussing about pulling out your plug. It was funny right that the oh so powerful and mighty proclaimed god of speed had remorse over another being. But to Savitar you weren’t just a person, you were his light to his rather darkness or rather as he called you as his goddess. “Don’t worry yet Y/N, my goddess for I will find a cure for this illness. I will have you back in my life once more even if I will bring pain to others if it’s necessary. Just you wait, I will even do that childhood wedding you talked about that you thought was stupid. I will be back my sleeping beauty.” It was unlike him to speak so softly as he pressed a kiss on your forehead before walking out the door. Savitar glared at the doctor whom was flipping through his clipboard of your papers, “Don’t you damn dare thinking of pulling that plug unless you wanna die as well Dr. Nelson.” He says with a snarl on his face before zipping away to find whatever the cure may be.

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Very Berry Legacy

I’m super excited to announce the very berry legacy challenge! I made this challenge with my friends @bluberry-sims @simsinablanket@sweetersims and @thestolensims

Basic rules:

Every generation in this challenge is named after a fruit, so they should be dressed (clothes, hair, makeup, etc. and skin if you want to) in the color of the fruit and can be named after it as well. The rules for each generation will have two traits, but you have to pick the third one, it can be whatever you want, so every game will be different! The Sim must complete the aspiration and career in that generations rules unless they state otherwise.

Generation 1- Grape (purple)

You’ve never cared much about love or getting married. All you needed in life was your job. You didn’t have many friends and no siblings, you kept to yourself. It’s all because of one incident that shook your life. You want the best for your only child, so you got married.


  • Travel to Sixam
  • Befriend an Alien (you can open the lot in Oasis Springs that requires max handiness skill if you do not have Get to Work)
  • As a young adult, have just one best friend, have a one night stand with them and end up pregnant (or the friend is pregnant).
  • Your best friend has kids but the spouse died a long time ago 
  • For the sake of the baby and because you are really good friends, you get married
  • Max Rocket Science or Handiness Skill

Traits: Gloomy and Genius

Career: Scientist or Tech Guru

Aspiration: Renaissance sim

Generation 2- Green Apple (green)

You always dreamed of starting a family and settling down in the suburbs. You forced yourself to stay in the first relationship you’ve ever had “That’s the one, I’m staying with them forever”. But once you were at the wedding, you imagined being with them for the rest of your life, just them, no one else, you ran away. None of your friends even tried to help you, you never had real friends.


  • Complete all jobs you have to level 5, then quit
  • Get 4 skills to level 6, and 2 to level 8
  • Leave someone at the altar
  • Have 4 serious relationships (romance is at about 60%), but break up with them
  • Barely know your own children, leave kids with a family member
  • Only have two “accident” kids, twins (you can cheat this)
  • Never Marry

Traits: Hates Children, Non Committal

Career: Business, Whatever you want (but your sim would hate) , Social Media

Aspiration: Serial Romantic

Generation 3- Strawberry (red or pink)

Your parent’s love life was always dysfunctional and you wanted to be different so at a young age you had multiple boyfriends or girlfriends but all you ever wanted was to find your soulmate. Once you were a young adult you got engaged to your high school sweetheart but one day you caught them cheating on you and you were devastated, but you find out a little later that you are pregnant with his baby. One thing that you always loved was working out. One morning when you go out to the gym you meet someone there and fall in love with them. You guys get married and have 2 kids but he/she dies as an adult from an accident you are left as a widow and never re-marry


  • Date lots of people as a teen
  • Get engaged to highschool sweetheart
  • Find out your fiance cheated on you
  • have one child with your ex-fiance after you break up
  • Meet future spouse at the gym
  • Have two children with your spouse
  • Have spouse die as an adult
  • never re-marry
  • Have at least level 7 fitness skill

Traits: Romantic, Active

Career: Athlete

Aspiration: Soulmate

 Generation 4- Potato (brown or white)

 You never really wanted to do anything “worthwhile”. Just watch TV all day and blog. Oh, and play video games. You just want to play video games. You don’t go outside, you will eat basically anything, and you refuse to work. You still live with your mother/father/sibling. They may be working hard to give you things you need, but you don’t notice.


  • Never marry
  • have a one night stand(your brother/sister made you go out) and it resulted in you pregnant/getting someone else pregnant. if your sim is male, the woman drops the baby off on your doorstep, leaving it for you to raise alone,
  • get kicked out by parent/sibling and live homeless with baby until you can purchase a simple, one room house
  • Once homeless, get a job doing something you hate, like a businessman or something
  • be miserable for the rest of your life, but hide it from your child because     you don’t want them to think that they can’t do anything they want in the world

Traits: lazy, glutton

Career: Anything your sim would hate

Aspiration: Computer Whiz


Generation 5- blueberry (blue)

You were always afraid people didn’t like you. You dated once in high school. They cheated on you. You could never forget or forgive. When you finally found the love of your life, you couldn’t believe it. You married them, had kids, everything was going great. Until one day, you thought they were cheating on you. That’s when your life became an entangled mess.


  • Have your first ever relationship cheat on you
  • Find love after many relationships (you thought they were cheating on you, or didn’t like you at all so you broke up with them)
  • Get married to them and have kids, start a normal family
  • Assume that your spouse’s friend is their lover, and they are cheating on you
  • Cheat on them with your past relationship
  • Find out that your spouse never cheated
  • Live the rest of your life regretting it, but never tell your partner
  • Master the Music skill
  • Play music as a kid
  • Try to start a writing career, but fail at it
  • Instead, try your hand at the entertainer career, music path

 Traits: Jealous and Music Lover

Career: Self-published author, Music branch in the Entertainer Career

Aspiration: Musical Genius

 Generation 6- Mango (orange)

You were always very bright, in every aspect. You are smart, you have no trouble talking to new people, and you wear orange a lot. One day, that changes, someone you never really talk to, that one person who avoided you all of your life, she and her friends decide to beat you up. They tell rumors about you, they trip you, throw your stuff in the garbage, spill food on your clothes. You were irritated but nothing could ever get you down, there is always positives. But when they hurt your mother, someone you always loved and cared about, you couldn’t stand them hurting her like that. So you dedicated your life to finding the people who hurt others, and put them in jail.


  • Have at least 5 good friends at all times
  • Have a group of  people try to ruin your life
  • Have them hurt the your mother
  • Reach level 10 athletic skill
  • Win in a fight with each of the mean people
  • Live with your mother until adulthood/serious relationship, to protect her

Traits: Outgoing, hot head

Career: detective

Aspiration: friend of the world

Generation 7- Raspberry (red)

Your parents were so involved in your grandmother’s life trying to protect her that they never payed attention to you or any of your other siblings. Ever since you were a kid you said “I want be the best parent ever” and you wanted to have lots of kids. One day when you were 15 you figured out that you could not have children and you were devastated. So you adopted. One day your doctor contacted you and told that he might have a way to get you pregnant but it could cost your life. You risk your life and it ends up being successful and you have twins! From then on you vowed to be the best mother ever. And you were.


  • Work as a babysitter as a teen
  • Find out you can’t have children as a teen
  • Get married right when you become a young adult
  • Adopt three children
  • Get enough points for fertility trait from reward store
  • Have twins after a life threatening procedure (this can be cheated)
  • Max parenting skill (if you have parenthood)
  • Be a stay at home mom or dad
  • Have spouse work

Traits: Family oriented, Childish

Career: Stay at home Parent (babysitter as a teen)

Aspiration: Super parent (If you have parenthood) if not, Big Happy Family


Generation 8- Lemon (yellow)

Although you grew up surrounded by your siblings, you have a mean streak nobody could deny. You often spent time alone at school because of this, and when somebody looked past that and saw the real you, you knew he was the one. You worked hard to give them whatever they wanted, a nice house, nice things, and even children although you were sick of them after spending too much time with your four siblings. You despised your children from the day they were born, choosing to invest yourself in work instead of care for them.


  • Date only one person, and marry them.
  • Only friend is spouse and if you want, parents.
  • Do not become more than acquaintances with your children, and try to get your relationship into the negatives.
  • Act friendly to the kids in front of the spouse.
  • Have negative relationships with siblings.
  • Maintain healthy and happy relationship with spouse and leave kids at home when you go on dates.

Traits: Mean, Hates Children

Career: Business 

Aspiration: Soulmate


Generation 9- Watermelon (pink)

Your mom hated you and that had a huge toll on your mental health. From a young age you had all sorts of mental illnesses, depression, anxiety learning disorders and many more. Growing up you did not have  happy life. One day in school you were being bullied and beat up. But out of no where a random kid in a mask saved you he grabbed you from the kids and yelled at them. From then on they never bothered you again and you weee so grateful for him but you never knew who he was. You were in therapy for a couple of years. Once released from therapy you were the happiest person ever and you were so grateful for the person who saved but you could never find them. So you became a detective and dedicated your life to finding the person to thank them for saving your life.


  • Be depressed as a teen
  • have a stranger save you when you were being bullied by you never find out who it was
  • Go to therapy for mental issues until young adult
  • Change gloomy trait to cheerful trait
  • Become a detective to try and find person who saves you
  • Find the person and marry them
  • Quit detective after you find them and join entertainer in comedian branch
  • Have as many kids as you want
  • Die the day after your spouse from heart-brokenness
  • Get to at least level 7 comedy skill

Traits: Loner, Gloomy (change to cheerful once YA)

Career: Detective until you find person, then entertainer (comedian branch)

Aspiration: Joke Star (don’t start until YA)


Generation 10- Blackberry (Black, Dark blue, or dark purple)

You were pretty happy as a kid always were with your parents and you loved their cute little love story, but once your mom passed away you swore that you would never be anything like her, you didn’t want to be sad ever and be a complete mess, So you broke things off with your current relationship, never spoke with your friends again or your brothers/sisters, never settled down or even had kids. All you did in your adulthood was to have fun by yourself, succeed in your job and visit new places constantly. You had the time of your life and once you died, you died having a happy life and having no regrets.


  • Have a boyfriend as a teen and as soon as your mother passes away break up with him.
  • Have 2 good friends and when your mother passes away stop talking with them completely. Same goes with your brothers and sisters
  • Complete any Job of your choice
  • Live in each neighborhood at least once
  • Max out the Photography and any other skill of your choice
  • Go to a lot of parties, clubs and bars as an Adult
  • Never Marry or have kids

 Traits: Outgoing, and Ambitious

Career: Your choice

Aspiration: Your choice

That’s the challenge I hope you guys like!! we worked really hard on it

If you do this challenge use the tag #veryberrylegacy so we can see them 

Happy simming <3

Us Against the World

Summary: Being homeless is painful. Not the cold, not the hunger, but the loneliness. Y/N had run away from home where she was badly treated. But the night is cold and she would love some warmth. So that’s why, when she sees a car parked nearby, she takes the chance to go and see. But at that time, Y/N can’t know she’s about to disturb the sleep of a tired person. And that same tired person can’t know how much his life is about to change with only some kindness.

Word count: 3159

Pairing: Theo Raeken x Reader

Warning: Contains spoils from 6x12!

A/N: Here you go, Theo’s prompt that won the vote ! Thanks to @maddie110201 who proofread this and for everyone who voted for this prompt!

Forever tag list: @rosecoloredshawn @multilovee (you can still ask to be in this tag list!)

Originally posted by chimeracuddles

Your Pov

It was too much. The blows, the insults, the jumped meals, everything. You had survived many disputes, endured the cries, the beatings, the ill-treatment. But it had begun to be too much. You weren’t living in this house, it was surviving. Every day was a torture; every day reminded you that your mother and her horrible boyfriend didn’t want you. They were only keeping you to have the little money the government was giving them for you. Money they took to buy themselves beers and cigarettes. They seem to care about everything except for you.

You already weren’t living, so what was the point of staying? It was for all these reasons that you had forged a protective stone around your heart. And why you had made the decision to leave. Leave this dirty house full of sadness and anger. You had taken the little personal effect you had and left in the middle of the night. A cold night, a night like those of winters. A night where whatever you were doing to warm up, no matter where you were going and how far you walked, your feet creaking on the slight layer of ice formed where the water had accumulated, you couldn’t warm up.

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Reminder for my chronic illness babes --

You probably have a bunch of important stuff to remember. Meds to take, supplies to bring, ingredient lists to check, etc. It can be overwhelming, and it makes me super stressed & anxious especially if I’m traveling or doing something new. Here are some things that I’ve found are helpful in reducing the stress & making it easier to do things!

  1. Separate what you need to bring into essential and nonessential lists. Sometimes my anxiety just kind of spreads to everything, so it helps me relax if I remember that there are only a couple crucial things, and the rest are only nice to have. 
  2. Come up with a system so you can easily grab the crucial things. I have all the important stuff in a single bag now, so as long as I grab that I know I’m covered. (I have an organized dopp kitt style pouch now with most of my inhalers, epi pens, and meds – it’s so convenient and helpful!). I recommend getting a pill box you can put one day’s worth of meds in so it’s easy to remember & carry even if you have a ton of bottles
  3. Always bring all the important stuff, even if you don’t think you’ll need it. It’s easier just not to think about it, and you never know if your plans change and you end up needing meds you thought you’d be home for, or an inhaler you didn’t expect to use.
  4. Even if you’re not organized, designate a place for your bag with all the stuff and keep it there even if you use some of the stuff at home. The less you break the routine of where the bag is & what is in it the less likely you will be to forget something.
  5. If you need things like hats, sun glasses, orthotics, etc try to keep them near the bag/door if possible too.
  6. Don’t beat yourself up if you forget something. Fix the problem to the best of your abilities, and be kind to yourself. Managing complex medical problems is way harder than it seems and you’re bound to mess up sometimes. I promise that every single person with chronic illness has been here multiple times!

skeleton flower: things that have been set free ♡ page excerpt
[from a page of the novel that jonghyun tweeted earlier today.]

when you come to see me, don’t wear too many clothes.
don’t even wear a single tee shirt,
because even one millimeter of distance between us is too much.

if it happens to be too cold, climb into my clothes;
my body heat, the scent of my breath;
listen to the sound of my beating heart.

i’ll infect you with my love fever so that, as i recover, you fall ill.
and, as you recover, i will become infected again.
climb into my clothes and become infected with the fever of love.
and re-infect me, infect only me. (source: kimkeyy)

Someone asked ‘does this mean that you think ‘people are whatever gender they genuinely and sincerely identify as’ is wrong?’

Conversations about this are rife with competing needs; something that some people find affirming of their gender identity will leave other people feeling misgendered and scared and miserable. 

I believe people when they tell me what gender they are. I also believe that “I thought I was nonbinary, and I lived as nonbinary and it turned out, nah, I was a dude” is an experience some people have had. I believe “I am definitely and genuinely and sincerely a boy but I do wish I was a girl …[three years later] I am a girl and so much happier” happens.  I think it’s clearly not true that people always have perfect knowledge of their gender and whatever they sincerely identify with that’s definitely correct. 

So ‘people are whatever gender they genuinely and sincerely identify as’ is incomplete. That doesn’t mean people aren’t the best source on the topic of their gender, or that I could be more accurate if I second-guessed them. It just means there are other dimensions: degree to which they feel obliged to round themselves off to the least intolerable of ill-fitted categories for their own safety and a source of community. Degree to which they feel comfortable in their own skin when presenting a given way. Degree to which an attainable presentation and way of being read by other people meets their gender needs. 

Because so many things people say about trans people just get used to justify denying them medical care or threatening them or explaining how beating them up is totally to be expected and best avoided by their ceasing to be trans, if you say “people might not be whatever gender they genuinely and sincerely identify as” trans people will probably feel less confident that you want to push for social norms against beating them up. 

That makes compiling a complete list of contributing dimensions is basically impossible, and I think once trans people are safe and have reliable access to hormones and won’t be fired or disowned or assaulted, then the state of the conversation about what exactly gender is will probably improve of its own accord. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to do it now, but it means we should respect that lots of people whose opinions really need to be represented in the conversation are not yet able to participate in it.

modern greek mythology

i. aphrodite doesnt believe in love anymore. all she sees is sadness and hurt and tears from people all around her. why love love, when all it leaves is destruction in its path? you can find her in bars and cafes, listening to all the boys and girls, who loved and lost. you can find her crying late at night in bed. mourning all that loved and loved and lost.
ii. athena doesnt see reason anymore. she forgot about strategies and wisdom. she only sees world problems, people and animals dying at the hands of each other. she stands tall and shouts and shouts and shouts at all who would listen, but… nobody is listening.
iii. artemis is still a huntress. these days she hunts people and collects their bounties. rapists, killers, murderers. they never stood a chance before her. she carries guns and knives and mace, she lives by no regrets. she is a protector of girls. no girl in hurting will be ignored, the goddesses brother will calm them down whilst she destroys the boy who hurts them. but tell no one. she does have many regrets - the choices, the decisions she made, but does she try to be the best she can. she lives and breathes only for her bother.

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Kristen Gilbert was a female serial killer charged with the murders of four patients at a Veterans Affairs Medical Centre in Setauket, New York. As a 33 year old nurse Gilbert may have been yet another example of how women who kill serially target their victims. Her prosecutors said that she liked the thrill of medical emergencies and wanted to impress her boyfriend. She is believed to have injected her patients with large doses of adrenaline, causing their hearts to beat rapidly and uncontrollably. The defence argued that the patients all suffered from serious illnesses, which ultimately caused their deaths. They insisted that Gilbert’s coworkers turned her in because they sided with Gilbert’s husband when they divorced. The prosecution argued that she initiated medical emergences so that she could respond and receive attention from her coworkers and boyfriend, who worked as a security guard at the hospital.

They noted that each victim had a healthy heart upon entering the hospital intensive care unit where Gilbert worked and each died following a visit from Gilbert. For so many patients with healthy hearts to suddenly die for no apparent reason so close together in the same unit was believed by the prosecution to be practically impossible. The prosecution compared it to the probability of lightening striking the same location many times. Gilbert was also accused of trying to kill three other patients. According to the prosecution there were also falsified medical reports, and Gilbert herself reportedly confessed to the murders, saying ‘I did it! I did it! You want to know? I killed all those guys by injection.’ to her boyfriend and ex-husband.

Gilbert was sentenced to four life sentences without the possibility of parole.


♋ July 7th, 1940 ♋ 

77 years ago on this day, legend has it that the birth of a Liverpool lad rocked the world so to its core that it started the first world war? A poor boy born in the Dingle of Liverpool in the 1940’s had not much of a future other than to become a product of his own poverty. Illness, family troubles, and social class tried to beat him down but against all odds, this lad would always outshine his trials and tribulations and showed the world that you must be your own hero. The drumbeat in his heart would become the backbeat of his band, a reliable and irresistible mate that always wanted to support his friends in making their dreams come true. Just like his drumming, he is a steady, friendly, simple, yet meticulous man who is loved by so many everywhere. So famous for his alias, you might have even forgotten it’s not his real name! We wanted him to be president in 1964 and tried again in 2016 but he’s just too cool to be a political leader. He digs peace and love and is able to bring nations together with his music so maybe we should make him president of the United Nations instead? He is the BEST drummer in the Beatles (John and Paul what?), the funny Beatle, the chill Beatle, but most of all, he is the most loved of the bunch, regardless of what anyone says. He’s most definitely a STARR in so many ways but to me, he’ll always be a galaxy. HAPPY BIRTHDAY RINGO!!!  WE LOVE YOU!!! ❤❤❤❤

anonymous asked:

Do you have any kdrama recommendations? I want to watch another Miss oh but could also use some other recs. Thank you and p.s. I love your writing, thank you for sharing them with us ☺️

I have TONS of kdrama recs! Under the cut because it got long. 

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at a loss for words, sometimes words aren’t enough to drown out the silence you’ve left behind– two am friendships will keep you awake, you’re also why I stay in bed for an extra hour. i’m not lazy, just don’t feel okay enough to get up. to move around, to heal. yeah, i’m not okay enough to heal yet, just want to sit here and feel like quitting, but i don’t. i can’t. because if i do, it means you were right. and you’re not right, this is just a part of life– this is the part where i figure things out, about the why. i don’t need a metaphor to tell you about how long it’s been, i think i’ve come to a jacked up conclusion, it’ll always hurt. you were the rawest part of my heart after trying to rub your name off of it on sandpaper, always a little sore after hearing your voice from a memory from way back when things made sense and you were just there, i hate myself for taking you for granted. i may be forgiven, but i can’t forgive myself and that’s the part that i don’t get. am i cursed to feel heavy and to love hard? these are the things that i don’t get. this song isn’t even sang by you, it’s not even about you. but i still hear your voice, you are the lyrics, you are the chorus, you are the beat. you mess up so many new relationships, i let you mess them up. it’s like by failing, i keep you alive. that’s not poetic, it’s a sickness. hurting is an illness, i am wary of you. i try and by trying i fail even more, but one day i won’t fail and that’s the day, that’s the day when i can come to terms with myself.

anonymous asked:

Lol it is ok I barely found the will to use the ship name myself. And yes! I will love Matt no matter what unless he's a complete and total asshole, in which case he at least better be an interesting asshole. "Asshole" was used in this ask too many times. ~ AKA

honestly i love fanon matt like. i love the *does a wicked kick flip on a skateboard whilst wearing shutter shades* “how do you do fellow kids” thing it’s funny but also i will probably love him no matter what they do w him aaaahhh i’m really excited and for the REUNION WITH PIDGE DONT LOOK AT ME ILL BE CRYING

i have so many questions tho. where is papa holt? where are shiro and matt and why are they there together?? how tf did shiro get there??? what’s going on??? whom are they fighting???? can matt see without glasses is he a fake wears glasses for the aesthetic person??? or is he blindly beating things up??? whys he wearing that??????? is he not a prisoner anymore????? what is going on

anonymous asked:

Do you have any Jenna Rolan headcannons??!!!

You mean the damn sunshine of my life? Of course, anything for Jenna

-you know those light strings you hang over beds? Jenna has one for every other week and in December they’re festive

-Jenna absolutely adores art stores, especially those little figurines of just random objects? It takes her everything to not buy them just to have them

-at first everyone was like “lol Jenna in drama? How’s that gonna work” and then they heard her sing and - damn!

-“they see me rolan, they hatin!”

-has the god damn bEST sleepovers! Hell yes! She will give you a complete make over, you’ll all have so much fun.

-she invites Jeremy all the time to said sleep overs and gives him face masks and curls his hair, he actually finds it relaxing so he doesn’t fight as much as he used to

-somehow besties with everyone? Like yeah she lets every piece of gossip worthy material slip but she’s still fucking awesome.

-she has these 3D stickers of random cute shit that shell just stick to your binders and shirts

-a HELLA good dancer, go Jenna baby you’re doing amazing!

-she’ll take you out on the fucking town, she’ll treat you like damn royalty. She pays the bill for you no matter how much you insist and slips money in your back pocket if you manage to pay anyway

-she buys Chloe these candy necklaces a lot, Chloe chews on em when she’s nervous

-“alright bitches line up I got some juicy shit ready for the spilling”

-will shamelessly call you at ungodly hours, usually for stuff that really could wait till later

-do you know how many times she’s woken Brooke up with cat memes?

-used to have pig tails

- has this adorable pink polka for bikini and she freaking works it

-is that friend who uploads pictures of awesome food and places to her instagram, but never drops the damn location so you caN NEVER JOIN IN ILL FIND THAT BEACH PARTY JENNA

-is also that friend who messages you at random times with “this reminded me of you” and “btw you’re so amazing wth?”

-*someone does something minorly inconvenient* “straight people.”

-is not afraid to sweep you off your feet at any given moment

-gives some of the best hugs you’re ever gonna get in your life, you can’t beat a patented Rolan Hug

-has slapped a bitch in her friends’ honor

-is vegan!

-Jenna and Christine are the scrap book friends, they have so many pictures of the crew and some of them don’t remember them being taken

-“ok so you’re my best friend so listen up-” “Jenna I went to your house like once.”

-the best driver of the group

-has a lot of fashionable scarves and sometimes brings friends to her house just to dress up

-is the treat yoself friend, you best believe you gonna be treated good so long as Jenna Rolan is around.

-is over dramatic as heck, constantly yelling out and putting a hand to her forehead all “exCUSE Me?!”

-watches realty tv souly for the drama and hoping to see cat fights

-she loves the sound of heels clicking but she can’t really walk in them without tripping

-she isn’t Jewish but she did a lot of research on it when learned Jeremy was and surprised him by celebrating Hanukkah with him.

-she is kinda brutally honest if you look like shit. Sometimes she doesn’t even say anything though. She’ll fix your hair or spray you with perfume or shove an entire pack of gum in your mouth

-holds pool parties during the summer, but stopped having beers with them when Jeremy got too drunk and almost fucking drowned

-“you know…you were pretty quick to take the SQUIP…” “listen desperate times call for desperate measures and damn am I a wreck”

accelerate: the end.

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: fluffy angst

a/n: thank you all for the support during the writing of this story, i never wouldve imagined my writing to bring so many people so many different emotions. i love you, and thank you.

author: admin m


Years upon years had passed, seasons and hair colours changing, but one thing was a constant. Y/N and Yoongi’s complete dedication to each other. Y/N’s hair was greying, Yoongi’s settling on solid black, his eyes still creased in the way Y/N could recall from 60 years previously. Over half a century with the love of your life seems like plenty, more than enough, but Yoongi prayed for more to a god he didn’t believe in, every single night.

Even when Y/N had gotten sick, even when she could barely walk without passing out, reminding him of the way her legs had given out on her the day he had asked her out. Even when she couldn’t say ‘I love you too,’ because the strain of releasing such syllables became harder and harder. He didn’t care, he knew she wanted to say it back, he knew she had nothing but adoration for the man she proudly called her husband. Min Yoongi, the man who, before music producer, and rapper, always wrote husband of Y/N. Min Yoongi, the man who consistently brightened the days of his wife, even when they seemed nothing but gloomy and grey. Min Yoongi, the man who was now holding his slowly fading Y/N’s hand, rubbing comforting circles into the wrinkled skin. She was still as radiant as she was 60 years ago, and he swore he wouldn’t want his life to have turned in any other direction than her.

They had gone through so much, Taehyung and Jungkook’s messy children, their children’s messy children. Babysitting was something they enjoyed, never having the patience or time for their own kids. They had suffered through graduating beside Kim Namjoon, who still glared at Yoongi up until his own death a few years prior. Lisa and Mingyu breaking up with both their significant others and sharing a platonic marriage that Y/N and Yoongi often found themselves confused by. How could two such attractive people be married only to shut their parents up, when they could be fucking as well? 

They had shared so much, yet so little.

He wondered, sometimes, if maybe, he should’ve been nicer from the start. But it always came back to the fact that he had her, he had her now, and he had her always. How they got there didn’t matter.

A soft voice brought him from his recollections, and he moved closer to Y/N, never risking missing a single word that left her lips. “What’s my reason for smiling today, loser?” Her voice was croaky, but it was the same question she had asked the day of their first kiss, and god, Yoongi felt his heart clench.  “You got to kiss Min Yoongi, every day for sixty years.” She smiled lightly, and he leaned in, connecting their lips. He felt fireworks, felt everything he had so many years before. “I love you,” he murmured, and even as her heart failed to beat once more, as the tears reached his eyes, his arm clenching the bars of the hospital bench, he couldn’t help but imagine her muttering it back.

I love you too.”

The Greatest Fan of Your Life

Written By: Smutty Woozfairy

Genre: Angst

Word count: 1680

Warnings: Mentions of severe depression and suicidal thoughts. Please- if you ever think about hurting yourself or anyone else, talk to someone. It is serious. And there is help. If any of you ever need someone to talk to, I am here. You can message me on here or on my personal blog. I know that sometimes all you need is for someone to really hear what you are saying- I will be here to hear your voice and listen to your story.

A/N: So I wrote this in the spur of the moment. I’m sorry to those who have requested for Seventeen- I haven’t had the best summer, at all really. Just a lot of personal stuff. But this was something that I felt like I needed to write- it wasn’t a request. It was based on my day today and just my life in general. I’m sorry if this is heavy for some, I just needed to get this off of my chest through a way that i thought could possibly benefit others… Not sure if I want to make this into a longer story, maybe just do a part two. If you like it, please let me know If you hate it, please let me know. If you want a part two/more parts (that would be happier than this one), please let me know.

(Listened to the song “I’ll Be” by Edwin McCain while writing this, which is also where I got the title from.)

Summary: A really bad day leads to you telling S. Coups about your bad life, but he seems to have a solution.

Keep reading

Norse Readalong Week 2: Feeding the She-Wolf

I’m not gonna recap this week, just air my thoughts on major events and themes.

Siggeir’s revenge really requires Volsung to show up - to genuinely assume that the fellow is trying to repair the web of reciprocity and kinship. Volsung probably has suspicions, but this is Volsung, one of the greatest hardasses there is. He’s got his men, his sons, and is the wronged party here.

By all the rules of propriety, the disrespect Siggeir paid him by legging it early from the wedding celebration is huge. Not only that, but he tried to buy the sword

As others have remarked, there is a complex fertility angle regarding swords/hammers and brides. This is not just about having kids, though obviously that’s part of it - the weapon is a symbol, imbued with potency, which benefits the wielder, but also his line. I’ll just stick this quote here:

“Thus it was possible to transfer an ancestor into a sword blade. If we consider the possibility that a famous warrior after his death had his cremated bones transferred into the symbol of power par excellence, the sword, his strength, spirit and luck was passed on to that weapon and it became personified. The meaning of named swords suddenly takes on a new significance.” 

- Lotte Hedeager, Iron Age Myth and Materiality: An Archaeology of Scandinavia AD 400-1000 (2011)    

Later in the saga, we’ll find out how important this sword is, because it crops up again and again along the male line of the Volsungs, and actually gains, or has originally, a name. As we see above, the personification of such a weapon has multiple layers of meaning.

It’s interesting to me, then, that Signy tells Volsung not to take Siggeir up on the offer, because her/their kinfylgia  warns her that  disaster will follow. Whether the kinfylgia is an actual spirit which is tied to the family line, or merely that luck-destiny-power which follows and/or emerges from the actions, deeds and circumstances of a kingroup (I’m inclined towards both myself) is immaterial.

Something is trying to warn the Volsungs that this is a bad idea, and it’s manifesting to the female line. This part of the saga, and next week’s, are sort of about emphasising how freaky things get in the Norse magical milieu and in a sense, show that despite its patriarchally structured society, the magical is all about interconnection, intertwining and blurring of the lines - even the supposedly hyper-masculine male Volsung line is constantly and cyclically initiated into Odinic strangeness - just as the saga itself is cyclic, in a sense.

But Volsung, being Volsung, overrules his daughter - he points out that if they dissolve the marriage and don’t show, they break the agreement, and thus can’t bind Siggeir in alliance, he won’t trust them, and would do them as much ill as he could in revenge. The honourable thing, and hence the necessary thing is to follow the thing.

A word about honour: Many people think that for the folks in pre-Modern societies were all about honour, because honour is all about macho chest-beating and silly rules. That’s a pretty shallow take though. Imagine, instead that you live in a world without a central authority - or at least one so distant as to make law enforcement and enforcement of social mores and social contract a local concern. In a society bound (and there’s that word again) by reciprocity, social currency is paramount - there’s no centralised bank saying what money or goods are worth, what a fair day’s pay is etc 

(And even when there was, like Rome or other empires, messing with currency can cause major problems. When your currency gets debased, Legions start revolting.)

Imagine then, that one’s honour is kind of a social credit rating and that kin-groups or families are like corporations today. Personal honour is your personal credit rating - it measures how much people trust you, what you can ask for, how much people will come to help you. It also contributes to the credit rating of the entire corporation. 

This doesn’t just last one generation, either. The trading power and ability of what becomes the Volsung dynasty derives first from Sigi, the outlaw son of Odin. He’s a rulebreaking mofo like his spiritual father, and yet he still manages to create a kingdom from scratch. What’s more, Odin gains kudos from Sigi - when you’re the god and patron of a king, your cult is going to benefit by gaining more prominence.

Rerir manages to survive murderous kin, is still a king worth note but is infertile. Frigg and Odin fix this by application of handy “wish-maiden” - magical female Odin-related powers infused into the line. So magical in fact, that Volsung has his freaky birth, and then marries the same magical girl, doubling down on the dual streams of godly power in the line.
The line is potently fertile - the nameless siblings, and Signy and Sigmund. Just as they’re about to do another fertility related thing - who shows up but the Cosmic-Shit-Stirrer aka Stabby McOne-Eye, The Murder Hobo, who as @edderkopper noted, may actually be performing a wedding ritual, but in a way that makes Odin the groom.

The fact that in that rite, it’s the groom’s sword and that Sigmund pulls it out, suggests, not only that Siggeir isn’t really the proper groom,  but that Sigmund is, to the saga’s audience at least, kind of an Odinic-stand-in,  and also receiving an ancestral weapon.
Thus Odin has, (if I read between the lines correctly) in his own particular way, once-again asserted that these people are mine. He has claimed all the Volsungs, even going so far as to symbolically also take Signy as his bride.

Thus, Odin, the rest of the magical milieu and the Volsungs become even more tightly entwined through a series of ritualised interactions that would be hard to miss, to the saga’s audience.

The Volsung Dynasty stock has gone through the bloody roof, but it means next to nothing if they gain a reputation as dealbreakers. The positive bits of their strange history become liabilities if people think they can’t be trusted. The name would become associated with negative social capital, and that in turn, would reflect badly on the names of their ancestors by whose deeds they ended up with large amounts of kudos in the first place.

The honour of the family as a whole, reaches back and forward through time - a descendant can redeem an ancestor, just as an ancestral name may redeem a descendant despite harsh circumstances. We see this isn a sense, in Rerir’s earlier utiseta. The mound-wisdom enables the fertilising apple - the dead connect to the living.

So, is Volsung being an arrogant shit? Or is it that plus the fact he’s actually stuck between a rock and hard place here? If they don’t go, they gain reputations as deal-breakers, don’t get the alliance which would bind Siggeir to them, and thus lose something which will probably benefit the kingdom and family as a whole?

Perhaps Volsung, with his experience, has started to regret the match, but he’s confident - he has enough numbers, social propriety on his side, and a good alliance to make.

So the whole party ups and heads over to Gautand. Siggeir is planning to straight-out butcher the whole lot of them with an unbeatable army. Signy warns her kin, begs them to go home, but as Volsung says, he made a vow never to flee,  and if he flees, the damage to his reputation, to the entire family’s would be nigh irreparable. Whatever happens to them, he says, she should go back to Siggeir. I suspect Volsung’s thinking here is close to what happens eventually.

Any children Signy bears will be of the line of Volsung, and even if they lose, that name will be untarnished because it is the Volsungs who are being betrayed. Those children can theoretically take revenge and rightfully unite both kingdoms.

The Volsung name is enhanced either way, and as to paraphrase the Havamal, the only thing that lasts are a man’s deeds and reputation, and hence the glory and social capital his kin gain via the family name.

This is such an odd way of thinking to many modern folk; that it it is not only the individual that matters, but how their deeds affect those around them - almost transpersonal in a way.
But back to the saga:

Siggeir wants to slaughter the whole bunch, but Signy convinces him to save her brothers for humiliation purposes, and so they’re put in stocks out in the woods, to die of exposure (a death which even Siggeir admits is harsh).

Here’s where it gets odder, and in many respects, the action switches over to the ladies for a bit, and if you suggest that Signy might have been kind of spaewife, or seer, given the kinfylgia appearing to her, what you might call a sort of indirect magical war occurs.

Each night, a she-wolf appears and devours one of the imprisoned Volsungs, while Signy works out what to do. This is interesting, because in Norse lore she-wolves are often associated with witches and giants (See Fenrir). When Sigmund, after nine of his brothers have been eaten, and with help from his sister, manages to rip the she-wolf’s tongue out  with his teeth (thus, in a sense, being more of a Wolf than she, eating her) Siggeir’s mother drops dead as the wolf dies, indicating that she was a shape-shifter.

Sigmund flees deeper into the woods, becoming an outlaw. In this, he returns to the family’s “area of origin”, echoing Sigi. He lives in an earth-house - a prince living like a common poor person, but also with the potential implied meaning that he is “like the Old Men of the Forest”  by which Odin refers to burial mounds in another lay.

In a sense, Sigmund has “gone back to his roots” freed after nine nights bound by the stocks which Bycock’s translation notes, are made from one “great trunk”. While not literal, it’s fairly obvious that the skald was playing on Odinic motifs here - and perhaps the themes might reflect some echo of an Odinic cult.

Sigi sends her boys to Sigmund, each in the hope that they can be used as weapons  to kill her husband, and both are not “stouthearted” enough - twitching at a wyrm, or living thing in the meal. They do not have the guts to do as ordered, so Sigi tells Sigmund to kill them both.

Of the two twins, as we shall see, in chapter 7, Signy seems the more horrific trainer of children, but it’s she who levels up in the vengeance stakes, breaking a taboo, or performing a supremely magical act, given the way IE cultures seemed to feel about twins - regarding them as somewhat divine or supernatural.

It’s interesting that in their own way, none of the female figures in this saga are shrinking violets. They’re all pragmatic, hardcore people - even Volsung’s mother is hardcore enough to survive pregnancy for six years for goodness sake!

While there are obvious gender differences in the way things are done, Signy is no princess-in-a-tower. It is she who masterminds the vengeance of the Volsungs on Siggeir. She who takes Siggeir’s heirs and attempts to fashion them into weapons.

She’s a terrible mother. 

But a damn good Volsung.