so many good photoshoots this year

2

“The first couple of years I was plagued by a kind of: ‘Oh my god, this is my first role. Don’t f–k it up. Do good, just do good, And there was a kind of personal intensity that went along with it because I was playing a character already loved by so many people who had read the books, and just making sure that she was what people were hoping she would be.” — Emilia on applying for the role of ‘Daenerys Targaryen’.

Welp that’s it. I don’t need anything else this holiday season. 

While I started out by popping to my room to take a few snaps to mark this one year in time, it resulted in a photoshoot that lasted a couple of hours. It was good. In a way I inspired myself (as much as that word makes me cringe).

It began with me hating every photo. I realized I was trying to over-pose. That is, pose how I instructed countless beginner models to pose over the 12 years I was an {intensely busy} professional photographer and worked with so many women who had never modelled before (or modelled very little). That’s when I realized: my body is disabled. It isn’t a normal body and the techniques I taught to (often very young), fit, toned, even muscular models would just not work for this disabled body. It does not bend the same (or over bends in the wrong places), the skin drapes in ‘ugly’ ways, I am covered in wrinkles and stretchmarks, my intestines sag out due to lax abdominal muscles, my limb tissue spreads out in 'ugly’ ways for the same reasons, I am too skinny in some areas, and 'flabby’ in others.

The negative inner voice started wondering loudly if it’s even possible to tone a body with muscle, nervous system and organ failure. It told me how awful the photos were looking; how they were all photos I wouldn’t even show models of themselves were I solely behind the camera again. And that’s when I realized: what do I 'preach’ every single day on Twitter? That disabled bodies are real and numerous, that they deserve the same love and respect as any other bodies (maybe even more) and that disabled bodies are attached to people. And so I embraced it.

I changed things up. I changed my underwear, I removed my clothes. I scrunched myself up and twisted myself about, moved the camera around and took photos of this disabled body and saw the person spilling out from the wrinkly seams. I am this person. (Look at those cheeky little toes (; ).

{please don’t remove my words}

[Trans] Sehun & Chanyeol - CeCi August 2015 Interview

Q: It’s hard to see you outside of EXO’s activities. Are there any plans for future activities?
Sehun: There are many things I want to do, I’m just waiting for the right time. If I want to do something, I want to do it properly so I’m waiting for the moment to appear like ‘bang’ and show it to everyone.
Ceci: In which areas?
Sehun: I want to try acting, but I also like magazine photoshoots so I will focus on these two areas.

Q: How will you spend the second half of the year?
Sehun: Firstly, there’s the world tour. Personally, if there’s a good opportunity then I will start new activities *cries*
Ceci: We hope to see you more often.
Sehun: Right now, Chanyeol hyung is seen by everyone on all sorts of shows. Once Chanyeol hyung is tired of it, I’ll be next. This is the advantage of having many members isn’t it? *laughs*

Q: Amongst the members, is it true that you guys are best friends?
Chanyeol: Us?
Ceci: Is it not true? Do you remember the first time you guys met?
Chanyeol: When we first met, Sehun was only a kid. I remember saying “ah such a cute kid.”
Sehun: Chanyeol hyung looked a little like a rebellious kid, but I still liked him *laughs* After we met, I felt that we could get along.

Q: Is there a reason why you guys became best friends?
Chanyeol: We entered the company at around the same time, about a two to three months difference. We’ve been close since we were trainees.
Sehun: I’m the sunbae. I entered the company three months earlier. *laughs*

Q: What is it that makes you guys get along so well?
Sehun: Chanyeol hyung is really friendly and I am. All of our members are really close so it’s not awkward to be alone with anyone.
Chanyeol: We are especially compatible when it comes to hanging out. We both like to meet up with people.
Ceci: In what ways?
Sehun: We’ve played house before. *laughs*

Q: Have there been times when you thought “we get along really well”?
Chanyeol: When it’s just the two of us and it doesn’t feel awkward.
Ceci: Even when you guys don’t talk?
Chanyeol: Yes, even so.
Sehun: Even though it’s not awkward…
Ceci: But it’s not good?
Sehun: Not that good.
Chanyeol: I think so too. *laughs*

Q: Surely there are times when you both are jealous of each other.
Chanyeol: Even though Sehun is skinny, he has broad shoulders. I’m a little jealous of that because I need to work hard to get them but that’s just how his physique is. I’m really jealous.
Sehun: There are so many things that of jealous of Chanyeol hyung for…
Ceci: Could it be that you don’t actually have one?
Sehun: Hyung has a nice voice so sometimes I think that it’ll be nice to have a voice like hyung’s.
Ceci: But there’s nothing you can do about it.
Sehun: Which is why I’m really jealous.

Q: What do the other members say about your friendship?
Chanyeol: We’re really close with the other members too. I’ll with Kyungoo and Jongin as well as Sehun so there’s nothing special about us. We’re all close.
Sehun: Hyung’s really good at being friendly with everyone.
Chanyeol: Yes, I do that a lot. *laughs*

Q: What Chanyeol’s secret that Sehun revealed?
Sehun: He surprisingly feels like an older brother. He’s really good at being the older brother. He looks really cheap, but is surprisingly generous. He also like to buy things for our members. Because he spends a lot of money on us, we sometimes think ‘what if his economy sense is slowly disappearing?’

Q: The theme of today’s photoshoot is 'Last Summer’. If you had to choose the most unforgettable summer out of all the summers, when would it be?
Sehun: 2-3 years ago, when EXO first debuted for less than a year. There was a time when the K members went to Eurwangni Beach. Since we had schedules the next day, we couldn’t go far and went as a day trip. We ate shells, played around and gave shrimps to seagulls as snacks.  I still have the picture we took that day in my wallet.

(Translation by: AMY | sehunix.com)