so many feelings all of a sudden

anonymous asked:

what is splitting?

Splitting is defined as a rapid change of emotions, but that’s not very specific. Despite the fact that splitting is an almost universal symptom for BPD individuals nobody really has put out the best description for it. I remember being very confused when I first heard of it and even more confused when my google searches came up without any real answer to what exactly splitting is. Truly the best way to define splitting is to describe it, but it tends to manifest itself in many ways, so I’ll do my best to cover them all.

Rage Split: A sudden anger that courses through the body sometimes without warning. Your chest will tighten and your vision may tunnel. A burning, aching feeling usually blossoms in my rib cage, like my heart is trying to break out and attack. Generally the primary emotion felt is anger. I become downright infuriated at someone or something for what could be no reason at all. This kind of split usually causes me to act impulsively, say things, I shouldn’t say, and lash out violently. It’s almost like catharsis in that it’s a release of emotions, or just this one overwhelming emotion. Sometimes I can’t really remember what I did or said during the split and looking back the memory is usually a blur.

Preparation Split: This is a split that usually isn’t acted on. Usually a scenario is imagined in the head of what somebody might say to you and how you’d respond. You start to gear up for this situation as if it’s actually going to happen. You begin to hate this person in question, despite the fact that what they ‘did/said’ was purely in your head. Then when the time comes and nothing happens you feel almost disappointed. Most importantly however the feelings of imagined anger and betrayal linger.

Isolation split: This is a split brought on by an extreme fear of abandonment and usually blindsides you unexpectedly out of nowhere. You could be at home, in school, at work, or even with friends and have the overwhelming feeling that everybody hates you. Not only that, but you have the desire to prove yourself wrong so you do the most rational (or in this case irrational) thing you can think of in an effort to get somebody to notice you: you cut yourself off. Now, for some borderlines this is just straight up cutting people out of your life aggressively and for no reason and then wondering why nobody is checking up on them. For others this might be withdrawing casually from social groups and conversations, desperately hoping for somebody to notice and ask if their okay. In both cases the borderline is either noticed, which brings on a sort of euphoria, or is unnoticed and will rage split on themselves (self harm, suicide attempts, risky behaviors, etc). 

Those are the main ones that I come across, but here are some little ones!

Sadness split: A sudden feeling that the world had gone cold and empty and that nothing will bring you joy, ever. This could be mistaken as a symptom for depression, but usually these little splits resolve themselves within a matter of days or even hours.

Apathy split: The borderline no longer feels any emotion whatsoever. For borderlines this is a little bit of heaven that quickly turns into hell. We’re so used to experiencing everything at once that we don’t know how to cope with this new numbness, so we try to force ourselves into experiencing something. This may include self harm, dangerous/illegal activities, etc.

Silent split: Like a rage split in that it is anger fueled, but normally the impulsive behaviors are controlled. This is more common in quiet borderlines.

Euphoria split: This is a sudden ‘Everything is good and wonderful! Nothing will ever make me sad again!’ kind of emotion that results from getting the desired attention we crave. Borderlines will then become so wrapped up in this feeling that they neglect their real responsibilities, convinced that they will be okay and not having the permanence to remember the consequences of their actions.

Okay, I think that just about covers it. Just ask if you have any more questions!

anonymous asked:

If the art was that good people would see it anyway. Without the artist needing to reblog it 100 times

I see you’re stemming from liv’s @larvesta own answer about this and I’m not gonna lie, I’m really hesitant about saying anything on the matter bc i don’t do this kind of thing but I realise people actually think this way so here’s a proper answer. 

It doesn’t work that way. I should know, I should really know. People here on Tumblr get lucky often and you wouldn’t think that, especially if you don’t create content yourself. Things just don’t become popular all of a sudden, most of the time it needs to get reblogged by the right person and add the balance between having good content yourself as well as an ongoing status as a creator. Not to mention how you go about treating your followers, your personality and how you act here. And you’ll tell me; “But people with good art have so many notes! It must be because they’re good! See, you don’t need to reblog it so many times!”

I hope you know what it feels like to be an artist here because I do. I especially do. I have talked, reblogged, supported, and have met so many, too many artists here, some insanely obscure. Some whose work looks like it took so many hours and has very little over 50 notes; my work included. And I can tell you now that I can personally handpick and tell you that some of the work I’m most proud of and have took many hours on are not over 200 notes. I’m not saying I’m frustrated by that, because some of us are reassured in our skill but let me tell you that every time I think of a fellow artist out there who releases amazing art and earns very little notes who looks at their note count and wonders if they are good enough, my heart breaks. And there’s young artists who are still getting by, who are not as good yet but took the same amount of effort and time, they deserve to be cheered on. 

Because people think artists here are machines, capable of creating content without regards to who actually appreciates it. No one is like that, artists are fragile just like everyone else and people really forget that. They really do. 

People don’t just see the art out of nowhere, do you understand the huge amount in this platform? There’s millions of work everywhere, you need to be supported to be seen, you need to withstand the thousands of others around you and you might have to create something that’s away from the norm to stand out, you might have to take hours of your time. You don’t know unless you really indulge yourself this platform, you don’t know unless you yourself do work for more than four hours, no breaks and absolutely tired, and look at your note count to see a disheartening number. You have no idea, you really don’t.

And don’t guilt them, please. I could reblog my art so many times, but sometimes the thougt of ‘maybe it gets annoying’ always bears in my mind, artists are made to feel like it’s okay that they’re not being appreciated. I’m proud of those who reblog their art because they know they deserve better, and guess what? They do.  

There’s a difference between good content and popular content, popular content aimed towards a specific audience that you know will like and reblog that. Good content is a dangerous hit and miss. I really appreciate people who do art for things that are not popular, because sometimes they really do have to rely solely on their skills. I say it’s a dangerous hit and miss because you know it might not have that specific audience, but you still take the effort and time into it anyway. Imagine that; knowing something is popular but going for the alternative anyway; taking time, taking effort, putting your all into it. That’s absolutely insane, man. Imagine knowing you can put that time and effort into something popular that might attract way more notes, but still doing something else for the sake of that something else. 

Also there’s the matter of timezones, in which there’s a worldly concept that everyone is in different times and not everyone is here at the same time to see the same content. I don’t want to explain this; please at least understand the concept of time. 

Artists reblog their work because they want others to see it, to appreciate it. Because sometimes it’s the only way others can. Reblogging their own work is an artist’s way of supporting themselves and you think I’m going to let you let them think that that’s a bad thing? That they’re not allowed to do that? Go home, buddy. 

I don’t have anything against anyone, I just wrote this realising that people actually think this is actually how it works and even then, I don’t have anything against you, maybe you’re just misinformed, some just don’t know enough about this to really understand. 

So here it is buds: support artists supporting themselves. It’s as simple as that. 

Sometimes I’ll be sitting in my room, perfectly fine, and then I just get slammed by this wave of loneliness and I hate it

Symptoms of OCD people don't talk about

-Depressive episodes
-Generalized anxiety
-Mild to severe hallucinations
-Innapropriate emotional reactions
-Hypersexuality v no libido changing constantly
-So many thoughts in your head it’s just a roaring buzzing noise and all you can do is cry
-Hypersensitivity
-Hyperresponsability
-Noticing literally everything, whether it’s things passing by, what everyone around you says no matter how far, how people react or say things, mood changes, how things feel, how another person’s hands feel because they just touched something dirty and didn’t wash up
-Sudden selective mutism
-Nightmares every single time you sleep
-Separation anxiety

Among so many others.

anonymous asked:

Jumin meeting a barista MC? Is charmed tf off by her and he keeps coming back and finally asks her out on a date? I'm so thirsty for this man it isn't even funny.

~I really love this idea! Thank you for the request and I hope you like^^


[Jumin]

  • V had recommended the coffee shop
  • So he felt he had to go
  • He expected to get a cappuccino once and be done with it
  • When he saw you, he noticed that you were cute, but he didn’t think anything else of it
  • You smiled and handed him his cup
  • There was art of a cat looking up at him as he held it in his hands
    • “You did this?” he asked
    • “Yes,” you smiled, “I’m sorry, I just love cats. I hope you don’t mind!”
  • Okay, he blushed a little
    • “Apologies if I gave the impression that I was displeased…I am actually quite fond of cats,” he replied happily.
  • He couldn’t help but stand there and talk about Elizabeth the 3rd
  • And he actually smiled when you asked to see a picture of her
    • “She is so adorable!”
  • He found himself coming back to see you, which was strange
  • The coffee was good, V was right
  • But it was mostly to see you ?
  • You never asked about what he did for a living
  • You never made assumptions
  • You just talked to him like a normal person
  • You cared about animals
  • He would sit and sip his coffee while watching you interact with the customers
  • You had a nice smile and were always so cheerful
  • He tried to not act annoyed when customers didn’t leave a tip
  • You knew his drinks by heart and made them just the way he liked
    • “Good morning, Jumin! The usual?”
  • One day he brought Elizabeth to see you
  • You made a cute giggle when he brought her to the counter
    • “Jumin…you can’t bring a cat in here,” you smiled warmly
    • “Oh? I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize,” he said
    • “It’s okay. Let’s step outside so I can meet her properly?”
  • She took to you right away and even let you hold her
  • She purred as you pet her head
    • “She can tell you have a kind heart,” he smiled
  • After that, he was completely taken with you
  • One day he came in but you weren’t there for your shift
  • He asked the manager
    • “She is very ill, I told her to stay home and get some rest…” he told Jumin with a worried look
  • He wouldn’t take coffee from anyone else
  • It wouldn’t taste right
  • As quickly as he could he put together a gift basket filled with essential oils and immune system boosting teas and food and fruits etc like just anything and everything he could think of plus bath products
  • Brought it back to the café
    • “Could you see that MC receives this?” Jumin handed it to the manager
  • He’d like to send it to you himself, but it wouldn’t be proper to have your address
  • The manager nodded
  • It seemed like he had waited forever for your return
  • Every day he entered and you weren’t there was another slight weight added to his heart
  • He found himself worrying about you
  • What was this?
  • You had been the happiest part of his days since he started conversing with you in the morning
  • It was only when you were not there that he realized just how much he enjoyed your company
  • How much he looked forward to seeing you
  • It had to mean something
  • His heart jumped when he walked through the door and finally saw you again
  • A smile growing on his face
  • It was like breathing fresh air to see your smile once more
    • “Jumin! How is Elizabeth 3rd?” you waved, “and thank you so much for the gift…it was too much, you really didn’t have to…”
    • “I would have sent more, if I knew it had helped,” he replied
  • You smiled briefly but ended up coughing a bit
    • “Are you alright? Should you be pushing yourself to work like this?” he said with concern
    • “I’m so sorry. I’m fine, I promise!”
  • He was slightly nervous all of a sudden, a new feeling
  • Watching you make his drink, he decided to finally make a move
    • “I missed your presence here in the café.”
    • “Oh?” you looked away a little shy, “but we have so many other talented people to make drinks!”
  • Jumin laughed
    • “Yes. Although, I would be lying if I said I didn’t prefer the ones you made.”
  • Okay now your knees are a little weak
  • You let out a nervous laugh
    • “If I may continue,” he said, “I realized that while the coffee was more than satisfactory, what I was missing was you. I’d like to take you to dinner?”
  • You dropped a cup in shock
  • Stuttering and smiling
  • He thought you were adorable when you were flustered
    • “I…w-would love that, Jumin.”
  • You nodded and bit your lip
  • He felt elated hearing this
    • “Perfect! Tonight, then? It’s a date,” he gave that endearing sideways smile of his.
Q&A Cristina, Kieran, Mark and the politics of trust

“clockwork-artifices said: Hello, Cassie. I<3 Cristina, so i wanted to ask about her. She’s been described as someone who’s been hurt and betrayed in the past (and recently), therefore she doesn’t really trust people that easily now, so with that in mind i couldn’t totally understand 

spoilers

Keep reading

Two Months

Request: friend zoning shawn to the point where he is begging to get out #request but rly u were too scared to let shawn in

a/n: HI!! i’ve been working on this one for quite a while and it’s finally done!! yay!!! thanks for being so patient with me everytime i pushed the upload date back lol but anyway, i hope you enjoy!! random side note - my family and i ate 5 pounds of potatoes at dinner tonight lol 

okay now enjoy reading and tell me what you think when you’re done!!

Your name: submit What is this?

- 8 months ago –

          Most people would think that sitting in a back room would be the most unentertaining thing in the world.  But when this back room happens to be filled with three of your closest, and backstage at the LA Staples center, a back room sounds more entertaining than any other room.

           “How long did he say the meet and greet lasted?”  Brian piped up as he threw a red skittle up into the air.  The skittle bounced off his nose and landed on the ground.

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How to be/become a morning person!

Ok so i know many people hate the morning bc u know u gotta get out that warm bed and start the day, but believe me, mornings are actually really nice! And if you start the day early and get things done u feel so much better throughout the day, so here are a couple of tips to help you become (and stay lol) a morning person!

1. start the day early. you don’t have to all of sudden wake up at 6 am, just do it in steps. 10 min earlier every day is a great routine to have untill you are at the time you wanna wake up. 

2. ok, So this may be the hardest one, but also the best. Don’t hit snooze! It is so much better to just get up when your first alarm goes off. 

3. Put your telephone on the other side of the room so you really gotta get up. (believe me, this really helps you to sleep better too)

4. Make a big healthy delicious breakfast! If you do that you will be looking forward to waking up.

5. Listen to music! This will put you in a good mood

6. Get shit done. Make your bed. Write the things down you have to do that day. Etc..

these were the tips, I hope they will help you!

💕
Move You|Imagine

Requested:No/Yes
Song(s):Move You by Kelly Clarkson
Warning(s):None
Summary:Where is love for her is so miraculous that he often has problem articulating his feelings for the one he fell so deeply in love with.

A/N: I recommend you read this while listening to the song. 

Laying here with her, he felt his body become lighter as she snuggled closer into his embrace. The smile on his lips was shinning so bright, it could most likely light up one of the biggest cities in the world. He couldn’t come to terms as to how someone like himself had been blessed with the beauty laying in his arms. The feeling he got when he was around her was out of this world. He often got lightheaded about just how in love he was with this girl, and constantly wondered if he had moved her as much as she had moved him.

He remembered the first time he meet her, everything seemed brighter and he suddenly had a greater purpose. It was difficult for him to focus on the most simplest of things. He would often find himself daydreaming about their futures together, what it’ll feel like to press his lips against her, holding her tightly every night, but most importantly being the one she came home to every night. All those dizzying thoughts were signs he had fallen completely and utterly in love with the beauty he had met. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling at first, he had simply justified his actions as a small crush, but little did he know that this girl had shaken his world so violently that it would never be the same again.

Unique.

That was the world that came to mind when he thought of her. Everything she did was unique she stood out in a crowd. Even the simple tasks she managed to do it in a way that had him memorized and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He wasn’t able to look at anyone else without comparing them to her, no girl was every prettier, smarter, or nicer than she was.

He felt alive, everything about her enhanced every single sense in his body. He was happier, nicer, and calmer. All his friends had noticed the sudden change in him, and it was astonishing. He had tried many times trying to explain to everyone around him just how much she meant to him and he always came up with the same words that left everyone a bit puzzled but they understood.

She moved me..

She moved him in a way no else was able to do so. None of his past lovers, had been able to extract a feeling so deep and so raw that it felt like a million violins playing. He came up with a million companions as to what it felt like when he had finally fallen so deeply in love with her. It was almost like the feeling of when a choir shouts ‘Amen’. It was a endless fire durning when her skin was on his. Her kisses always kept the fire deep within him alive. He loved her so much it hurt him to know that at any moment she could possibly realize he wasn’t what he wanted.

She was the hands that simply held him, when words couldn’t make things right. She had been his rock, whenever troubles would hit him so hard. Her arms where always waiting for him, welcoming him after a rough day at work. Her lips would collide with his temple pressing soft kisses as she held onto him harder almost as if she could make everything else disappear and have it be just them.

Looking down at the girl in his arms, he smiled a she softly yawned and opened her eyes to greet him with a warm smile. She cuddled closer into him, loving the safe feeling he gave her whenever he was around. Pressing a kiss onto her forehead, he felt all the things he had felt when she had moved him in a way he wasn’t able to explain. She reminded him of the symphony made up of thunder in the middle of July. She had crashed into his life sending him into a spiral, but she was there to save him time and time again.

“You know you moved me in a way thats so hard to explain..” He breathed as she smiled and looked up at him with sleep in her eyes and the warmest look on her face. “It almost feels like being back in the house I grew up..” He smiled as her heart swelled up in her chest.

“I love you..” She breathed out as he smiled knowing that that moment that she had been moved just as much as he had been.

Like the first time that he had met her, they both fell too hard to fast, and thats the way he moved her.

40 days 40 nights.

I have two days left, before I embark on the most challenging journey of my life thus far. Throughout this year, I’ve felt a tremendous unexpected shift in my energy, so I’ve decided to spend time in solitude to understand where my path is leading me, whilst I mentally, physically and spiritually prepare for the changes that are coming.

I no longer have any interest in the things that used to captivate me before. Creatively, my mission is still the same. My life is still purpose driven but my attachments to materialism and other lower vibrational distractions have loosened. So many things within myself are changing. I feel like I’m entering womanhood and it’s daunting but exciting at the same time.

This isn’t strange to me. I’ve been in a spiritual battle with myself for almost a year now. Ignoring my intuitions demands for me to seek within. Admittedly aware that the answers to my questions are found through fasting, meditation and solitude but unfortunately being too lazy and finding comfort in procrastination and being content with life’s mediocrities to follow through.

I honestly believe that we all experience this sudden desire to step into the unknown (ourselves), during our crisis years (21, 28) to find our true purpose. However, I believe many of us miss the opportunity out of fear or being clouded, but failing to listen to your intuition can cause turbulences later on in life.

I plan on regaining balance and structure in my life as well as replenishing my creativity. I’m in the last few months of the Heart Chakra and as I enter the Throat Chakra, there’s a bunch of things in need to focus on.

So yeah, lol, wish me luck fam.
Follow my journey on Instagram, everything I learn I will be sharing on @roxannesvibe

Peace.

anonymous asked:

how do you feel about the sudden increase of posts criticising su?

I initially felt like some of them are actually making valid points, but the way many people are acting in some posts like that has kind of made me hate all those posts now lol. Like i just don’t understand the mentality of putting so much effort into something you hate, or acting like the show was made for you specifically or something. That kind of attitude has turned me off to that whole like, subsection of tumblr. plus their blogs are just 1000% pure negativity and honestly?? I don’t need it in my life lol.

Another thing is that it seems like for people who claim to be critics, they take criticism VERY poorly. i.e. upon posting this im very confident that some of those blogs will probably send me passive aggressive anon asks saying I’m an idiot (which like, ya that’s fair tbh but I’m doin my best)

So I am definitely being subjective here but I’m not a fan of the blogs that post that kind of stuff generally. Like don’t get me wrong, they are obviously totally free to post and share what they want, you do you. Just for me personally, I don’t like to see it.

6am: ArchiexReader

hey guys, just a quick oneshot that I threw together. idk, having major archie feels. feedback would be appreciated if you don’t hate it. 

Summary: Archie waking you up in the middle of the night. Basically just complete fluff.

Originally posted by juggiehead

Keep reading

WE DO knot ALWAYS LOVE YOU Part 19 Full Translation [FINAL Part]

The Ceremony

5

Pages 200-203

Along the road heading towards the senkaimon, Renji who was at the very back of the group he was escorting, called out to Ichigo who was walking directly in front of him.

“……what is it?”

The distance separating them from the other three people ahead widened meaning their private conversation could not be heard.

Keep reading

Irate - 3

(Part 1) | (Part 2)

Summary:

Y/N’s curious, clumsy, and has a knack for asking the wrong questions at the wrong time. Bucky’s a hot-headed prick with a dark past and communication issues. Both are paired for training, and neither party is all too thrilled.

Word count: 1465


“Can I ask you a question?”

You want to say you sound suave and totally collected, but really, it comes out more like you’re being suffocated simultaneously. Bucky’d decided that you were severely out of shape and proposed going for a run. It was a great idea in theory, but now you’re starting to think the running is more for him to be able to rub in your face the fact that he’s fit and you’re not.

“No.”

You ask anyway. “Steve mentioned these abilities I could have. What did he mean?” The question’s been bugging you for a while. Given the chances, you should have gotten at least one opportunity where your supposed abilities got their time to shine, but nada. Do you even have powers? What if it’s something pathetic, like conjuring hot sauce at the snap of your fingers?

You’re so busy snapping your fingers that you almost don’t notice that he doesn’t respond, or even acknowledge that you asked a question.

“Why are you so grumpy all the time?” You’re not the kind of person to snap at someone else, especially not someone that’s supposed to be your superior. Plus, it’s not even among the questions you have in mind, but it’s just such a pressing issue. How can someone be so angry twenty-four seven anyway?

His face takes on a look that you’ve become pretty accustomed to in the last few days: He stares straight ahead of him, not a single emotion flickering over his features, and you know that he’s supressing an eye-roll.

He doesn’t answer.

“See what I mean?” You widen your eyes dramatically and throw your hands up. “You can’t even give me an answer!”

If he’s riled up, he doesn’t show it, and in all honesty, it’s getting you riled up. You’re not going to back down until he gives you some kind of response. Maybe you can even unlock his cliché backstory. So you press further.

“C'mon! There’s got to be something.” No response.

“Even Batman has a reason to be brooding all the time!” He turns to glare at you and you falter for a moment. “Okay, okay, cool, nothing about Batman.”

Bucky closes his eyes and exhales slowly, then faces forward again and picks up the pace. You struggle to keep up with him as he runs you up a hill and through a trail in the forest. You run in silence as you catch your breath and relish in the cool shade of the trees, until you can’t bite your tongue any longer.

“Are you afraid of bats?”

He halts without warning, digging his heels into the ground to come to a complete stop. You keep going, not even noticing that he’s stopped, until you’re running into him. Literally.

Bucky gives you a look of pure exasperation as he grabs your wrists, stepping forward and pulling you in until your hands are resting against his chest. There are so many other questions on your mind, but you can’t remember a single one all of a sudden.

“Shut. Up.” He growls. Your hands can feel the vibrations of his chest.

You’re not scared of Bucky Barnes. You're not. It’s not your fault your voice is an octave higher when you stammer out a meek “sorry.”


So maybe you’re a little scared of Bucky Barnes, but you’re starting to figure him out. His intimidation tactics are straight from the book: glares, low tone of voice, and the whole invasion of personal space thing he’s got going on.

Like right now. You’re wedged between the railing of the training room’s mezzanine and Bucky’s chest. It’s not necessarily uncomfortable, but you’re hyperaware of everything around you, and every time he speaks, you can feel your own body reverberate. At best, it’s distracting.

“Hold it like this.” Bucky’s breath fans the side of your neck when you speak, and it takes all your willpower to not squirm. His hands grab the gun with yours, but really, he’s doing most of the work. You can barely concentrate, and the gun feels so heavy in your hands you feel like you may drop it if he lets go.

“Aim carefully, and then shoot.” He pulls the trigger. You’re not ready for the kickback, and the force of the gun firing presses you further back into his chest. Bucky doesn’t move an inch. Instead, he opts to kick your left foot forward. You almost topple over, and this time, you swear you can feel him rolling his eyes.

“Hit that target.” He points to the outline of a body near the back of the room, then lets go of the gun, placing his hands on the railing on either side of you so that your back is still against his chest, though now, you barely notice. Your palms feel sweaty and gun feels so wrong in your hands. There’s a little voice at the back of your head telling you that you can’t do it, and you almost turn to look at Bucky for reassurance. Almost.

You aim, or at least, you hope you’re aiming, and this time you prepare yourself for the kickback. Your finger moves slowly across the trigger, and you screw your eyes shut as the gun fires.

This time the sound makes you flinch, and you don’t even have to open your eyes to know that you missed. Bucky sighs, pushing off of the railing and stepping back.

“Great job, rookie. You only missed by twenty fucking feet.”

Sure enough, there’s a hole in the target at the far left of the room.


“What’s the deal with him?”

It’s been five days since you missed every single target in the training room, and Bucky and you have come no closer to being acquainted than you were when you first showed up at the compound. The only thing he seems to do is be too close too often, effectively shutting you up. Part of you is resentful towards yourself for being so intimidated.

Bucky’s on a mission, and for once you’ve gotten time off. You savour it by curling yourself up in blankets, with a hot water bottle pressed against your sore muscles, and complaining to Sam about how Bucky is unreasonably training (you prefer the word ‘torturing’) you everyday.

Sam laughs, giving you a warm smile, and you wonder why Bucky can’t also just, y'know, smile or something? Show some form of emotion that isn’t cold and menacing?

“He’s a tough one,” Sam says.

“How do you even put up with him?” You throw your hands up in exasperation to prove your point, but regret it immediately as pain flares up your sore arms. Sam laughs again.

“Steve trusts him. I trust Steve.”

Steve must be some kind of altruistic hero if everyone seems to like him so much, and if he can handle someone like Bucky. You’ve seen him around a few times here and there, and he always passes you a small smile, but he never seems to have time to stop and talk, and his face is constantly riddled with stress. Not the life you want to live.

“Anyway,” Sam continues. “When Wanda gets back, she’ll probably take over for him. She’s enhanced too, so she’ll make a better trainer in your case.”

There’s that word again. Enhanced. You’ve tried every possible thing you can think of: snapping your fingers, all the possible hand movements you’ve seen in the movies and that the gaps in your memory let you recall, but nothing. (The memory thing is a whole other issue that should keep you up at night, but by the time you go to bed, Bucky’s exhausted you to the point where you can barely keep your eyes open, let alone think). The whole situation is so muddled, and it ignites this panic in your stomach that you’re trying to diminish by not thinking about it. Your thoughts flash back to the words Bucky had said when he was first assigned to train with you.

“He said I can’t be trusted,” you say, turning to face Sam. You wince at the soreness of your muscles, then look at Sam expectantly. “Is it– are there enhanced people–,” the word sounds weird in your mouth. “Am I dangerous?”

Sam frowns. “I don’t think,” he pauses, collecting his thoughts. “He was probably talking about himself, not you.”

It’s your turn to be confused, but before you have a chance to ask him what he means, Steve rushes into the room, a pained look on his face.

“Sam, I–”

Sam stands up. “Hey man, what’s wrong?”

Steve’s entire body is tense as he looks between the two of you, then he sighs, putting his head in his hands.

“It’s Bucky. He’s been shot.”


Tags below cut: 

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Derek Hale Imagine

Originally posted by kal-el

Imagine finding out about Derek being your mate

Strangely it wasn’t the usual cliche when a bad guy was spilling the beans, ultimately changing your life altogether. Because in the end it was Peter Hale who was blurting the big secret out. 

You both were bent over the many open books spread on the table in the living room of the loft. There was a new threat on the horizon and this already felt like the usual go-to strategy. Lydia and Stiles decided to do their own research at his place.

Since you were little you used to hang out with the Hale boys, feeling like you three were a close-knit group, even when you were all teenagers. 

Of course you couldn’t help it sometimes that you felt something more than friendship towards Derek. Maybe you were a masochist, when it was clear that the brooding Hale sibling only saw you as his best friend or probably even his sister.

A glance at the clock made you nervous as you thought about Derek tracking the creature’s footprints in the woods. “When was Derek supposed to come back again?”

You could literally feel Peter roll his eyes in aggravation behind you. “Don’t worry. If anything Derek would never do us the favor to get himself killed,” he said monotonously. You sent him a lazy glare, already used to Peter’s antics, which he ignored. “Besides, you’d feel it when something was wrong.”

He was so deeply immersed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice what he was saying.

“What?”

“Because you’re his mate - oh shit.” His head whipped in her direction, his hands covered his mouth like he just uttered a big secret.

“What did you just say?!”

“Oops.”

Originally posted by brxguesa

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BTS Reactions - They hit you during a fight

Warning - May be upsetting to some readers, contains bad language

Within 5 minutes, a small argument has blown into a full shouting match. You and your boyfriend are stood at opposite sides of the kitchen, screaming insults at one another. You’ve never seen him this mad before, and you’d be scared stiff if you weren’t just as angry. Having enough, you storm past him and to the door, trying to leave. But he didn’t like that. He grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the door,

“You’re not leaving!” He shouts at you, and you shout back that he doesn’t own you, even if he thinks he does. You watch his face darken and you instantly regret your words.

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Anti and the Septiceye Theory

Okay, I’m writing this as fast as I can to try and make as much sense as possible. I am fully aware this was probably said by accident, but GOSH DARN IT THIS SOME GOOD THEORY MATERIAL.

**cracks knuckles** Here we go.

“Why does my eye hurt all of a sudden? Is the Septiceye coming back to kill me?”

Okay, the reason this stands out to me so much because it calls back to a theory I feel like was buried in the Antipocolypse. It came so late in the game and was buried by so many other things, it became forgotten. I can’t exactly remember how the theory went or who originally posted it, but let me explain it as best as I can remember, then we’ll dive in.

Judgement Day.

August 3rd.

Among all the chaos, Jack fucks up his twitter, as tradition demands it. Everyone panics, and naturally, the amount of chaos and theories, stuff gets buried. Important stuff.

Some people liken the profile picture to the septiceye.

Jack’s signature icon.

And people start to wonder.

What if, the signature septiceye had something to do with Anti?

What if it was his eye?

After all. The septiceye always there, always watching. All of Jack’s social media, Jack’s channel. That was how Anti was able to see everything.

Speculation kind of stopped there.

There were better things to look at.

But now we’re all looking back at the old evidence? I’m glad this buried theory can be brought to the forefront again.

And remember Jack’s specific wording here. The SEPTICEYE COMING BACK TO KILL HIM. NOT ANTI.

Looks like it’s time to have a look at Anti’s connection to the Septiceye. I can’t promise all the answers right now, I need time to think.

But what if the reason Anti is able to see through the Septiceye is part of his origin story?

Where Sean first got… infected?


EVERYONE WELCOME TO DISCUSS!

Imagine Woozi quietly walking up to you and suddenly placing a kiss on your cheek before casually walking away, leaving you to be surprised and flustered by his unexpected action.

biozinhas

#방탄소년단 🌈  #박지민 🌹 #전정국 💟 

i had no idea that i could feel so many things for only one man;  지민

i just want to see you well, always; 박지민

“it was all of a sudden and i knew it was you forever"  — pjm {♡}

when my world turns gray, i just need to look at a photo of you, that you color it again, park jimin

when everything is difficult, you are salvation, jimin

please be always this wonderful person that you are, park jimin


pedidos?

*deep breath* whO’S READY FOR SOME ANGST AND TO GET YOUR HEART B R O K E N

while i’m not fond of this idea, there is a good possibility of julian breaking all the parabatai bonds so hERE GOES (don’t read if you want to keep your heart intact)

warning: heavy angst under the cut

julian will do whatever it takes to be with emma. he makes a deal with the seelie queen. we don’t know what she wants in return. we don’t know what is done to make it so. we dont know what it costs, because now - now, there are bigger problems at hand. all over the globe, parabatai bonds break. two souls, bonded as one, their unique connection, shattered.

when the bond breaks for julian, it hurts, but he embraces it, because now, he can be with emma with no repercussions. (except, there is, there always will be, after what he has done) he’s overjoyed… but emma isn’t. she feels it break, just as he does. she, however, is not happy in the slightest. there is a small, traitorous part of her mind that whispers, you can be with julian now, isn’t that great? but no, she thinks, it’s not great, as she keels over in pain of losing the sense of julianjulianjulian in her. despite their love, they feel their souls cleave in half. when emma finds julian, or when he finds her, she slaps him. she screams at him, how dare you, julian, how dare you, i thought you were better than this, and he wants to say he doesn’t regret it, not when he can now be with her, but seeing her tears stream down her cheeks, seeing how she is more furious than joyful, his resolves falters, just a little.

somewhere else, jace and clary still go about their mission. that’s when jace feels it. it fucking hurts, and it takes him a moment to realise what’s burning. desperately, he finds his parabatai rune, only to see it fade into nothing. no - where’s alec, alec, jace thinks desperately, where is my other half, my brother. and he realises, no, he can’t feel alec, at all. next to him, clary cries out in pain, her own parabatai rune searing. simon, her soul cries, as he’s ripped away from her, simon! the two lovers cling to each other as they feel half of their souls ripping away from them, but even with each other, they can’t ease the pain and loss.

alec lies with magnus at the loft, tired after a day of navigating downworld politics. it’s sweet and domestic and - jace. jace, where are you, what happened. it comes out of nowhere and he clutches at magnus as he tries to find his parabatai rune and - whereisitwhereisitwhereisit. it - it can’t just be gone. it’s just like during the battle where valentine killed jace to raise raziel - except it’s worse. back then, jace had died - he had died and it had hurt like hell, his other half was dead, but nothing compared to this. nothing compared to having part of his soul forcefully ripped away by unnatural forces, to feel a yawning void at the loss of his soul-bonded, his sworn brother.

and magnus - magnus, with all his magic, feels something rip through the fabric of the world, feels something rippling through the nephilim, breaking apart what has always been constant. he reaches further with his magic - he hears hundreds, thousands of shadowhunter souls crying out, mourning the loss of their other half. he feels the rrrrrrrrriiiiip of so many souls, feels the bleeding of the broken halves, and he frantically turns back to alec, whose tears spill down his face, his blue eyes pained and glassy - alec never cries - and he aches, because magnus is old and he knows how parabatai are - he’s seen too many. two halves of one soul, one soul in two bodies, or two souls bound forever - take your pick. and he understands just how painful it would be - what’s a person without half of their soul? so magnus reaches out, trying to comfort his love though he knows it’s futile, and he mourns for all the halved souls, for alec and jace and clary and simon, for jem and will, for fierce little emma and quiet julian.

simon is with isabelle, training, or maybe kissing. and all of a sudden, the constant feeling of clary within him is gone, replaced by a hollow, hollow emptiness. he panicks and grabs aat isabelle, what happened to clary, and there’s nothing within him, no joy or anger or sadness, and he can’t feel her. and isabelle, through whatever connection that binds her to alec and jace as siblings, just understands, and as she holds a broken simon in her arms, she silently weeps for her brothers, for clary, for her love, because they don’t deserve it, after everything they’ve been through. how can they live without one half of their soul?

jem and tessa are taking a break from their quest when tessa, like magnus, feels a resounding rip through the fabric of existence just as jem gasps soundlessly. tessa knows instantly what has happened and barely has time to think, no, not again, when jem sinks to his knees. will, he chokes out, and tessa wants to scream at the heavens, why, why, why jem, why torture him for all the good he has done. and jem, he feels the loss of his beloved parabatai again. even years ago, even as a silent brother, losing will had hurt like no other. now, he experiences the same pain he had felt years ago, only much more pronounced. for even in death, part of the other’s soul stays with you, for not even death can part two halves of the same soul. jem feels what little is left of will - will, will, his will - rip away from him - there’s no more of will’s joy at seeing him and tessa together, no more contentment, only a gaping void where the bond once was.

there’s a pair, two girls, just finishing their parabatai ceremony. under the watchful gaze of a silent brother and iron sister and their smiling witnesses, they embrace, reveling in the feeling of their best friend zinging through them. then, all of a sudden, it’s gone, shattered. the bond - it’s only been there for less than a minute - and it’s gone. the best friends haven’t even had time to enjoy their souls bonded as one. as soon are they’re bound, they’re ripped away from each other, and even though they’ve only just finished the ceremony, it still hurts like no other - to have a taste of something extraordinary, and have it ripped away from you right away.

luke hasn’t cared about his parabatai bond in a long time. it had hurt when valentine betrayed him, hurt when he had turned, hurt even more when valentine died - but it was all muted, because then, valentine hadn’t mattered to him. not anymore. but this - this is one of the only times he feels his parabatai bond even as a werewolf, and he howls and his soul breaks. the bond - it might as well be broken in the first place, but it only makes it hurt more. his pack surrounds him, but he can’t bring himself to care as he mourns the loss of his former brother - for the valentine who had once loved him. (and valentine, burning in the fires of hell, feels the pain, far beyond any of the realm’s tortures, and regrets not cherishing this bond he had with lucian.)

so many shadowhunters had died in the war. so many of them had parabatai. now, those who had lost their parabatai feel the pain of losing their soul twice. the first time, taken away by the horrible fate of death. the second time, ripped away by the breaking of the bond, the horrifying loss of what little is left, replaced by a black hole that consumes them. it’s - it’s unbearable. that kind of pain - it’s enough to make some of them turn their heavenly blades on themselves, their broken souls joining their soul-bonded in heaven. those who do not - they break, shattering into pieces that can’t ever be put together again. 

because - they’re not like jace and alec, or clary and simon, who still have each other after this. their parabatai is gone, gone, and there’s no one, no one who’s enough, who can bring them back from the pain. and where clary portals herself and jace, and magnus portals alec to the institute, where isabelle and simon are waiting, and jace and alec cling to each other furiously, while clary and simon embrace like they’re the only things keeping the other upright (and no, it’s not fine, and they don’t think it ever will be); where julian and emma still have each other despite emma’s anger… there’s no one to comfort jem, or others like him. tessa can’t ease his pain - can’t, because only will can, and she hurts for jem and will both, to see the boys she loves ripped away from each other so fiercely. for those whose parabatai have already died, an unending, gaping abyss fills their entire being. they have family and loved ones - but no, they can’t suffice, for nothing compares to the bond that is parabatai, and there’s nothing that can bring them back from the edge of the abyss.

perhaps, after death, some shadowhunters choose to be reincarnated. a mundane woman walks along the street, unaware, when a sudden pain strikes her, and it’s horrible, and she doesn’t know what’s happening, only that she feels like she’s lost something so very important. on the other side of the world, another mundane man doubles over to the shock of his colleagues, as the bond that connects the two breaks. and - they don’t know what happened, because how can they know that they were shadowhunters in a previous life, and they had just lost the other half of their soul? so these people live out the rest of their life with an uncurable emptiness living in their soul, with no idea that their other half had been taken away from them.

there are still shadowhunters in heaven, half of a parabatai bond, waiting for their loved ones to join them. but - but even in heaven, in this sacred, holy place, they still feel it. even heaven cannot block the connection of souls. and so the dead shadowhunters who have parabatai still on earth, or with them in heaven, feel the pain nonetheless. will, whose parabatai bond is much stronger than most others, feels the pain significantly. he’d been watching jem and tessa with a sense of contentment and then - even in death he feels it. no, no, james, please don’t leave me. he feels himself collapse, and he watches as jem falls to his knees, and he cries, because he’s up here and he can’t help jem. his parabatai is down there, hurting and helpless, and will can do nothing but watch. will has never felt so helpless, so pathetic, in his life. i’m so sorry jem, he cries, i’m so, so sorry.

max cries, for his brothers and their friends - he hates to see alec and jace in pain, and jace’s pretty girlfriend clary isn’t as pretty anymore as she sobs into her nerdy friend simon. livvy yells at julian, nonono no, julian, don’t you dare, but is useless, sliding to her knees to watch the consequences of her big brother’s actions. robert and michael, matthew and james, they clutch at each other as they feel the other leaving them - leaving them, even though they’re right next to each other. they’re together, with each other - but they’re not. the angels - who are almighty and cold and indifferent, and have no care for the shadowhunters - feel disaster looming, they see julian threatening the natural order of the world, and they do nothing to stop it - what is this little event to them? they feel millions of souls cleave in half, and they think, oh, this will pass.

the entire world hurts. souls broken and ripped apart. the seelie queen laughs in amusement as she watches the world fall to pieces in her scrying glass. and even when emma, headstrong and stubborn, bulldozes her way to faerie and confronts her, the queen only lets out a tinkling laugh. oh, darling, she says, you should have warned your pet of the consequences his actions would bring. now - now, this, she gestures to where emma’s parabatai rune had been, is irreversible. parabatai will cease to exist.

you should have known.

.

oh god why did i write this i’m sorry i spent like 2 hours typing this and now my heart hurts I’M SORRY DON’T KILL ME. i reread it and i legit cried.

@catarinalosss i was the evil anon i’m sorry, and you said (yes) to the essay and i was craving some angst so i delivered i’M SORRY


EDIIT/BONUS: (thanks @the-dark-instruments for prompting this!!) 

in this world, there are people who aren’t parabatai, who aren’t bonded in such a way, and yet, their souls are still entwined. this occurs in the mundane world as well as the shadow world - and the breaking of parabatai bonds affects them as well. 

an example of that would be ty and livvy blackthorn - twins, siblings, not yet parabatai, but with a connection that’s just as deep. they know each other in their bones, know their thoughts and actions, just as parabatai do. even in death, livvy feels ty hurting, and ty feels livvy’s concern, for they are twins, soulmates in every way. and so, julian’s actions affect them too. ty is reading, his head on kit’s lap. he’s still not over livvy’s death, but he thinks he will be. and kit will help him every step of the way. but then - hot, blinding pain. it’s a different pain from what parabatai experience - ty has no rune, but he and livvy share blood and bones, and he feels the pain in all of him, in his body and mind and heart and soul. livvy, he cries out, and then she’s ripped away from him, that slight connection reduced to nothing. it’s this moment that ty breaks - his twin, his twin, his twin - and curls into a ball. he feels kit cradle his head, murmuring soft reassurances, but it doesn’t ease the pain, because livvy was the only one who could do that. would always be the only one who could. no, livvy - 

and livvy, watching jules destroy the world, breaks just as ty does, her body mind heart soul crying out for her twin. she reaches down, down, down, she needs to touch ty, to reassure him as she always does - and she can’t leave. she can only watch and ty breaks in kit’s arms, and she can’t help him, and there’s no one to console her, no one who can. she watches through her tears as her twin, her soul, bound by blood and loyalty and so much more… and she watches as ty becomes so much more broken. ty, ty, ty… 

julian didn’t just destroy parabatai bonds. he destroyed all that links different souls together. 

he destroyed the world.

and the queen laughs, again and again, horrible and twisted, taking pleasure from the pain. hse tuts.

oh, dear julian, you should have known.

.

s orry omg @cassandraclare if you do something like this i will cry