so many emotions for this

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after taking me over thREE HECKIN WEEKS TO MAKE my first animation meme is finally done!! :0 chose to do Posin’ with Knockout and Breakdown since I thought it fit them well pffffftt. This was lots of fun to make (albeit really challenging too) and I’m really happy with the way this came out!! you can totally expect to see more of these from me in the future!!

*all proper credit/links to originals are given in the video’s description

Oh man oh man, you guys. I am OVERJOYED to talk about this! <3

Jaal’s first “oh, damn” moment came during the initial excursions on Havarl. He, Vetra, and Gemma had been slogging through some dense plant growth for hours when he spotted a shortcut from his childhood. It involved a lot of climbing, and Vetra gave him a (gentle) hard time about it, but what Jaal remembers is Gemma staring up the incline, a little frown on her still-strange face. When he asked her what she was doing, she said “I’m trying to figure out if I can do it in four boosts, or three”. Then she grinned at him, and said “I bet three,” and took off. He watched her jet to the first outcropping of rock, catch it, and leverage herself up, and then keep going. 

She made it in three, and laughed when she reached the top. 

He lost his handhold just before he reached her, the rock crumbling under his hand, but Gemma was already there, so fast he never even knew she had moved, and she had her hand locked around his wrist before he could yell for help. And to this day, he remembers the jolt that went through him at the contact, and how her grip did not falter – and how bright her eyes were as she pulled him up. Oh, he thought. This feels familiar. 

No, he added, only to himself, when Gemma – this alien woman – grinned up at him, this feels good. 

***

Gemma’s moment came later; it was seeing him on Aya, after they rescued the Moshae. She found him on a balcony, looking out over a forest so green it hurt her eyes. For the first time since she woke up, she had a moment to pause, and breathe, and not worry about getting attacked, and she was happy to just bask in the sunlight and the rustle of wind through the leaves with a friend. 

She would have been content to stay quiet – Jaal didn’t owe her conversation after all her prodding back on the Tempest and in the Nomad – but he started pointing out the farms where he had worked as a teenager, his favorite place to watch the sunset, the races he and his siblings used to run near that river to the west – and she felt every knot in her spine coming undone. 

He spoke with so much love for everything around him, and Gemma was so tired and lonely and hating being either of those things that she started crying. She’d always been one for a good stress-relief cry, but this was exhaustion, and longing for home, and grief, and the pressure of knowing everything depended on her. 

She tried to keep quiet about it – not really good diplomacy to start bawling in public, especially if you were the damn Pathfinder – but when Jaal noticed, he just put his arm around her shoulders and told her no one would shame her for this, of all things. 

Gemma tried to make a joke – cover my back for a few minutes till I stop looking like a boiled tomato, okay? – but he was looking at her so sincerely, so gently, that she just nodded and maybe – maybe – leaned into him a little. Jaal was alien, half his people wanted to kill her, and she didn’t really blame them – but he was warm, and solid, and he didn’t let go till her tears were done. 

Sometimes I think about how Mac is so clearly in love with Dennis. This guy spent nearly four decades denying his sexuality due to his religious upbringing. Not to mention how his failed relationship with his father, who spent most of Mac’s life behind bars, manifests into a desperate need to be loved and wanted. It’s so clear that he wants something more with his best friend. 

And then there’s Dennis, who has no problem sleeping with men, but is also a raging sociopath who goes from feeling nothing to feeling too much. Who copes with his emotions and insecurities through his obsessive vanity and never ending sexual conquests. He’s more likely to manipulate Mac’s feelings for him than he is to return that love. Which is really fucked up when you consider that the one first time Dennis proclaimed his love for someone (his twin sister) the gang claims they “broke” Dennis. It was kind of true. 

Mac grew up lonely and neglected by both parents, and just wants someone to love him. Dennis grew up with an abusive father, is plagued with insecurities and fears of not being enough–of not living up to his own ridiculous, delusional expectations of himself. 

And the thing is, they could be good for each other. But they’re clearly not. This relationship is so dysfunctional, it borderlines on toxic. At the same time, it’s so fascinating to me in such a dark way. I just can’t get over it. 

I’m honestly so angry not only because they’re ruining Jay and the storyline that we’ve been begging for this whole time. CPD has such an amazing opportunity to have a strong lead character have a moment of vulnerability and finally learn how to cope with his PTSD that he had kept buried all this time. Mental illness is such a misrepresented, underrepresented subject matter in the media. PTSD in particular is so misunderstood, especially with veterans. They’re seen as these strong, resilient people that when they show any sign of weakness they often lose the respect of those around them. They’re believed to be faking it to garner sympathy or to make things seem far worse than they “actually are” and that’s just so unfair and not true at all. Mental illness is such a serious issue and the majority of people don’t take it seriously mostly because they don’t understand it. And why is that? Because our media does its best to dodge the matter altogether or just plain does a really bad job of representing it.

I haven’t seen the episode yet so my emotions are strictly coming from what I’ve seen on Tumblr and Soph’s tweet. I don’t even know if any of what I said makes sense because I’m emotional right now. Mental health/mental illness is so important to me as a person who wants to dedicate their life to helping those who are plagued with these issues and I’m very upset that even when a beautiful opportunity is presented to a TV show they don’t make the most of it in a positive, informative way.

Hey.

It’s been a while since I’ve made a post like this. But frankly, I need help.

I need a lot of help.

If it hasn’t been made clear already, I am a very fucked up person. So much shit has happened in my life that I haven’t really received professional help form. My friends, my net family, they’ve been very strongly encouraging me to see a doctor. And at this point, it’s clear I need to.

I work full time to support two households, and currently my state of mind has been down the tubes. I can’t go a single day without having an emotional breakdown at work, and I’ve cried so many times today I’ve lost count. It’s been getting worse over the course of the last couple month and this month has probably been the worst in probably about a year. I’ve been losing the fight with all my intrusive thoughts and the fight with my suicidal thoughts is becoming more and more difficult.

The problem is that even though I work full time, I can barely keep myself afloat financially. Even with insurance I can’t afford the copay to see a doctor.

I’m taking commissions, as always, and if you want to donate I would much appreciate it. If you can’t, please spread this around. If you want commissions, email me at ghosttempest1802@gmail.com, message me here on Tumblr, or note me on Deviantart (ghosttempest is my username).

Thank you for your time.

i swear tho if Lance does become the black paladin i want blue lion to like, give him away

like Lance will come to blue when he finds out that he has to pilot the black lion and he tries to go into blue but blue won’t let him in and he thinks ‘oh no she thinks i don’t love her anymore she’s rejecting me, just like everyone else has’ and

he hears this sad rumble in his mind and chest and a low soft voice echoes inside him that says “my silly pilot, you will always be welcomed back”

but Lance makes this broken noise and thinks “then why won’t you let me in?”

and blue lion whines small and deep “bc, dear cub, I’m afraid if you do, i will not be able to let you go”

then, with utter delicacy, blue lifts one paw and places it in front of lances chest and nudges him back

“find your leader and then come back. until then….”

and lance’s mortification and awe, blue bows her head to him. and the tears start streaming down his face, only able to stand there in complete silence.

“lead us to victory. black paladin.”

4

*drops off doodles of the kiddos*

Headcanon that after Matt is rescued, he starts travelling the galaxy, fighting on behalf of the rebellion and doing whatever he can to screw over the Galra. But he also develops a habit of picking up souvenirs on each of the planets and moons he lands on - just little stones or leaves or sticks, whatever he can find - whenever he thinks of Shiro or has a moment where he wishes Shiro is with him. He collects and keeps all of these little trinkets in a box that he carries with him, promising himself that one day he’ll get to show Shiro his collection.

Then he and Shiro are finally reunited. Matt brings out the box and explains what it is before handing it over. Shiro thinks it’s adorable that Matt made a little collection for him, but then he opens it up and is absolutely gobsmacked when he looks inside. 

Because the box is filled to the brim and there have to be hundreds or thousands of little rocks and shells and plants and twigs and just so many things from so many planets and this is how often Matt thought of him and this is how much Matt missed him this is physical proof of Matt’s feelings for him and he’s just so overwhelmed he has to put the box down and rest his head in his hands and just breathe because holy god, Matt.

And then Matt has to sheepishly admit that this is just the first box.

3

Let’s appreciate that Killian Jones, the Captain Hook, realized that he needed to talk to someone about how he was feeling. A man notorious for internalizing his pain and his emotional struggles. A man who, in the past, would  much rather have drown his problems in the bottom of a rum barrel than have anybody share the burden. If this isn’t a sign of growth and emotional maturity, I don’t know what is honestly. It also shows that Killian encouraging Emma to talk to Archie wasn’t some hollow sign of support. He’s practicing what he preaches, holding himself to same expectation he held to Emma. It’s such a big step for him. This was such a huge moment for him on a personal level and it makes me so proud.

do u ever remember that neil didn’t want to stop being Neil Josten even before he’d been approached by wymack like literally the start of the chapter he’s like ‘it didn’t matter how much he liked being neil josten. he’d stayed here too long as it was.’ like. my son. my sweet child. u are in for the ride of your life and at the end of it Neil Josten will be real and he will have a family and you will get to be him forever