so many emotions and feels you will get at the same time

Common experiences of lesbians who don’t know they’re lesbians yet

 Out of curiosity, I recently googled “Am I lesbian quiz”. Half the “Are You a Lesbian” quizzes just asked outright, “Are you attracted to women?” as though that isn’t the very answer a questioning lesbian is trying to figure out. The other half marked me as heterosexual for things like owning more nail varnish than dogs. I hope this list will give you more nuanced ideas to think about as you explore your identity.

These experiences are all really common among - but not universal or exclusive to - people who later realize they’re lesbians and find a comfortable home in the lesbian label and community.

It’s mostly stuff that I and other lesbians I know have wished we knew when we were first coming to grips with our lesbian identities, because the fact is it takes a long time to discover how common a lot of these experiences are among lesbians, and not knowing what to look for when trying to figure out if you’re a lesbian can be hard.

‘Attraction’ to men

  • Deciding which guys to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to – based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities
  • Only developing attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to him
  • Getting jealous of a specific female friend’s relationships with guys and assuming you must be attracted to the guys she’s with (even if you never really noticed them before she was interested in them)
  • Picking a guy at random to be attracted to
  • Choosing to be attracted to a guy at all, not just choosing to act on it but flipping your attraction on like a switch – that’s a common lesbian thing
  • Having such high standards that literally no guy meets them – and feeling no spark of attraction to any guy who doesn’t meet them
  • Only/mostly being into guys who are gnc in some way
  • Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional guys or guys you never or rarely interact with
  • Being deeply uncomfortable and losing all interest in these unattainable guys if they ever indicate they might reciprocate
  • Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around men as attraction to them
  • Reading a desire to be attractive to men as attraction to them
  • Having a lot of your ‘guy’ crushes later turn out to be trans women

Relationships with men

  • Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man
  • Or looking forward to an idealized version of it that resembles literally no m/f relationship you’ve ever seen in your life, never being able to picture any man you’ve actually met in that image

  • Being repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”

  • Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it

  • Going along with escalation because it seems like the 'appropriate time’ or bc the guy wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

  • Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with guys, trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness
  • Feeling like you have to have relationships with guys and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify

  • Only having online relationships with guys; preferring not to look at the guys you’re interacting with online; choosing not to meet up with a guy even if you seem very into him and he reciprocates and meeting up is totally realistic
  • Getting a boyfriend mostly so other people know you have a boyfriend and not really being interested in him romantically/sexually
  • Wishing your boyfriend was more like your female friends
  • Wishing your boyfriend was less interested in romance and/or sex with you and that you could just hang out as pals
  • Thinking you’re really in love with a guy but being able to get over him in such record time that you pretend to be more affected than you are so your friends don’t think you’re heartless
  • After a breakup, missing having a boyfriend more than you miss the specific guy you were with
  • Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone

Sex with men

  • Having sex not out of desire for the physical pleasure or emotional closeness but because you like feeling wanted
  • OR: preferring to 'be a tease’ to feel wanted but feeling like following through is a chore
  • Only being comfortable with sex with men if there’s an extreme power imbalance and your desires aren’t centred
  • Using sex with men as a form of self-harm
  • Feeling numb or dissociating or crying during/after sex with men (even if you don’t understand that reaction and think you’re fine and crying etc for no reason)
  • Being bored with sex with men/not understanding what the big deal is that makes other women want it
  • Doing it anyway out of obligation or a desire to be a good sport/do something nice for him
  • Never/rarely having sexual fantasies about specific men, preferring to leave them as undetailed as possible or not thinking about men at all while fantasizing
  • Having to make a concerted effort to fantasize about the guy you’re “attracted” to

Early interest in women

  • Not recognizing past/current crushes on women until you’ve come to grips with your attraction to women
  • Being unusually competitive, shy, or eager to impress specific women when you’re not that way with anyone else
  • Wanting to kiss your female best friend on the mouth for literally any reason (”to practice for boys” included)
  • Getting butterflies or feeling like you can’t get close enough when cuddling with a close female friend
  • Looking at a close female friend and feeling something in your chest clench up and being overwhelmed with love for her - love you may read as platonic
  • Having had strong and abiding feelings of admiration for a specific female teacher, actor, etc., growing up that were deep and reverent
  • Having had an unusually close relationship with a female friend growing up that was different and special in a way you couldn’t articulate
  • Thinking relationships would be simpler “if only I were attracted to women/my best friend who would be perfect for me if she/I weren’t a girl”
  • When a female friend is treated badly by a man, having your protective thoughts turn in the direction of “if I was him/a man I’d never do that to her/my girlfriend”
  • Being utterly fascinated by any lesbians you know/see in media and thinking they’re all ultra cool people
  • Having your favourite character in every show be that one gay-coded or butch-looking woman (like Shego from Kim Possible or Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica)
  • Feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable in locker rooms etc., when your female friends are less clothed than they normally would be around men and being more careful not to look than they are

The 'straight’ version of you

  • Thinking that all straight girls feel at least some attraction to women
  • Thinking that your interest in seeing attractive women/scantily clad women/boobs is an artificial reaction caused by the objectification of women in media
  • Being really into how women look “aesthetically”/“just as artistic interest”
  • Thinking it’s objective and uncontested that almost all women are way more attractive than most men
  • Being a really intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly emotional about homophobia but assuming you’re just a Really Good Ally and v empathetic
  • Having like half your friend group from school turn out to be LGBT+
  • Getting emotional or having a strong reaction you don’t understand to f/f love stories etc.
  • Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay

Exploring attraction to women

  • Feeling like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman
  • Feeling like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman
  • Thinking you couldn’t be a lesbian because you’re not attractive enough, cool enough, or otherwise in the same league as most of the women you know
  • Interacting with het sex/romance in media by imagining yourself in the man’s position or just never/rarely imagining yourself in the woman’s position
  • Really focusing on the women in het porn
  • Being really into the idea of kissing/being sexual with a woman 'to turn guys on’
  • Being really annoyed when guys actually do express interest in watching or joining in when you do that
  • Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual interest in women when you’re inebriated or otherwise impaired

Gender Feelings

  • Having a lot of conflicting gender feelings that are only possible to resolve once you understand you are/can be a lesbian
  • Thinking that being gnc and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood mean that you can’t be a woman even if that’s what feels closest to right - many lesbians are gnc and many lesbians feel disconnected from traditional womanhood since it’s so bound up in heteropatriarchy
  • Knowing you’re attracted to women and not being able to parse that (esp + any gender nonconformance) as gay, taking a long time to figure out if you’re a straight man or a lesbian
  • Being dysphoric about the parts of you that make straight men think your body is owed to them, having to figure out what that dysphoria means for/to you
  • Knowing you’re attracted to women, but feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable trying to interact with them as a straight man, and only later realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian
  • Knowing you’re gay, but experiencing a lot of the symptoms of comp het when you try to interact with men romantically/sexually, and only later realizing you’re a trans lesbian and not a gay man
  • Being nonbinary and taking a long time to sort through being able to respect/understand your nonbinary identity and your lesbianness at the same time

Considering lesbianism

  • Wanting to be a lesbian but feeling like if you don’t already know you are one you can’t be
  • Feeling guilty about wanting to be a lesbian, feeling like you’re just attention-seeking or trying to be trendy
  • Suppressing your lesbian dreams because you think exploring that desire would mean you’re a bad/homophobic person using lesbianness selfishly
  • Wishing you were a lesbian to escape the discomfort of dating men
  • Fantasizing about how much fun it would be to be a lesbian and just be with women/a specific woman, but thinking that can’t be for you
  • Worrying that some of your past attraction to men was actually real so you can’t be a lesbian
  • Worrying that bc you can’t be 100% sure you’re not attracted to men and can’t be 100% sure you won’t change your mind, you can’t be a lesbian
  • Worrying that you only want to be a lesbian because of trauma and that means your lesbianness would be Fake
  • Worrying that trauma-induced complications in how you experience sex (e.g., a habit of self-harming via sex w men or a fear of any sex at all) mean you’re not a Real Lesbian

Every item on this list is common among Real Lesbians. It’s all Normal Lesbian Stuff. If you’re worried that you can’t be a lesbian even though it’s the life you really want for yourself, I hope this gives you permission to explore that. You are allowed to be a lesbian. 

And if you’re not sure yet – if you took the time to read this entire thing because you’re curious about your identity, if you identified with a bunch of items on this list – you may or may not be a lesbian, but friend, you almost certainly aren’t cishet. Welcome.

(I’d love to hear other things lesbians wish you’d known were A Thing when you were first exploring your identity!)

LEO: You really don’t want to admit it, because it’s a pretty ridiculous thought, but you’re scared of what being fully healed from the heartaches you’ve experienced entails. Because you aren’t sure of who you are when you aren’t hurting and you don’t know how to observe the world with unclouded eyes. It’s okay to be apprehensive of the sides of yourself that you haven’t had many opportunities to become acquainted with. While you may know yourself better than anybody else, that doesn’t mean that you need to be an expert on all things you. It’s okay to still be in the process of meeting yourself and figuring out who you are. You aren’t racing the clock.

VIRGO: You’re finally embracing the things you’ve been talking about doing for so long, but something feels off about it and you don’t know why. Because isn’t this the thing you’ve been working towards? Isn’t this the life you pictured yourself living after pulling yourself out of the gutter and onto the grass? I don’t think it’s right to assume that you’ve made the wrong decision here, but it’s important to remember that not everything you wrap your arms around is going to feel soft and easy to swallow. Sometimes the right decision has to hurt in order for it to be the right decision. Soon you’ll know if there’s anything that needs changing.

LIBRA: I know that trusting your instincts after being led astray so many times is a difficult thing for you to wrap your head around. You’re not the type to forget about the poor decisions you’ve made, or the mistakes you’ve given life to. However, road bumps and wrong turns aside, you are still a person worth listening to. It may seem as though everybody else has a map showing them the route to success and that yours was lost in the mail, but I’m going to let you in on a secret: nobody has a clue, a lot of us are just really good at acting as if we are. You haven’t fallen behind, you’re running with the wolves.

SCORPIO: Everyone assumes that you have a lot of love in your life but, while it’s easy to pinpoint a handful of people that have handled your heart with the utmost care, it’s easier to identify those that haven’t. At the end of the night the latter is what plagues your thoughts and wrings the tears out of your eyes, and admitting to that seems like a sign of weakness. But I want you to know that you aren’t obligated to live up to the expectations that the world holds for you. You’re allowed to make your own goals and visit your own places of interest. And the people that can’t love you for that aren’t people that you need surrounding you, anyways.

SAGITTARIUS: You have a tendency to look for yourself in everybody you meet, stacking your personality traits up like chips in a poker game that you’re destined to lose. The problem here is that in order to do this it involves reducing yourself to the most basic of traits and that isn’t what you are. Just because you can rattle off a list of acquaintances that use humor to detract from a situation in the same way that you do, doesn’t mean that you’re a carbon copy conglomerate of the souls you’ve met and interacted with. You’re unique, and you’re a lot more than simply a list of shared qualities. There are parts of you that cannot be put into words.

CAPRICORN: Has anybody told you lately that they’re proud of you? I know that things have been piling onto your windowsill and that you haven’t had the energy to clean it off yet but you’re still standing tall and you’re still here and that’s something to be happy about. Celebrating the small victories isn’t something that you’re used to doing, but it’s time that you start; it’s time that you open your eyes to all of the things that you do on a daily basis that warrant praise and positive attention. An action doesn’t have to be monumental in order to be important. You do wonderful things each and every day.

AQUARIUS: It’s been difficult to get back into the depths of your passion because there’s a really loud voice in your head saying that it isn’t worth it. A feeling of insecurity welling up in your throat and spilling out of your mouth whenever you open it to speak. Sure, your dream is big. Cynics may have told you that it isn’t worth pursuing. But there’s a reason that you’re chasing what you are, right? It’s because it makes you happy, and it makes you feel whole. And I know that it can be incredibly discouraging to stumble over things you care about, but you just have to keep walking despite all of that. Your goals are worth it.

PISCES: Lately you’ve been haunted by the memories of people that only came into your life to take. The nightmares have become an almost regular guest in your bed, taking the sheets and kicking your shins every night like clockwork. I want you to know that what you need to do in order to gain closure over the unkind past seems terrifying because it is. I also want you to know that you deserve to move on from those that have harmed your growth in the past. It may seem impossible to reach a place of contentment with the situation you’re picturing as you read this, but you’re more than capable of surviving what’s follow you. Allow yourself to thrive.

ARIES: Taking care of yourself still feels foreign, sometimes. Acting adult-like is an oversized jacket that you’re familiar with shrugging off and leaving at home despite the weather that requires its presence. There’s too much societal and social pressure to be fully grown all of the time, in my opinion. Not to say that you shouldn’t be responsible, or that you don’t already take care of the things that you need to, but you’re able to reevaluate what it means to be a successful human being. You aren’t chained to standards or rules or cookie-cutter definitions of “being a grown-up.” Don’t lose touch with the roots that mean so much to you.

TAURUS: Another ending, another heartbreak, another name written through the steam on your shower wall. It isn’t fair that you give so much and still only get apple cores and empty promises handed back to you. I know you’re starting to wonder if it really is a “you-thing,” if the absences you’ve needed to learn to exist around were created by your own hands in ignorance. While most failed connections falter on both sides of a line, that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be mean to yourself for things that aren’t exclusively your fault. Being kind to yourself is a practice that will benefit you more than you know. It’s okay to give yourself a break.

GEMINI: Happiness is a lover that always sends you postcards but never tells you when they’re coming home. You’ve grown so accustomed to their quick scrawl reading “wish you were here” that you can almost predict each cards’ arrival after every new bout of sadness. It feels like your emotions enjoy mocking you a lot of the time, making you cry over your latest heartache while reminding you of the moments in which you felt nothing but pure and unfiltered joy. I can’t guarantee the continuous presence of bliss in your life, but I will say in confidence that it’ll always come back to you. Even when you think it won’t. Especially then.

CANCER: It’s a lot easier to let the dying embers of a fire fade into darkness than it is to stoke them back to life. I know that you’re tired of crouching next to weak flames, watching them flicker and refuse to glow despite your best efforts, and for good reason. Everybody knows that you deserve better from the world, that isn’t a question. How could you, the big-hearted lover of love, be destined for something as ugly as this? The answer is that you aren’t. Large, beautiful, fulfilling things are on their way, slowly but surely. Don’t forget that it won’t always feel like this. You won’t always view happy moments as a quick reprieve from the norm. Promise.

Bon Voyage S2 Ep.8 - BTS’ letters to each other

YOONGI → SEOKJIN

“To. Jinjinjara, Seokjin-hyung!!

It’s your forever roommate, Suga.

Can you believe I have known you for 7 years… I remember when I met you for the first time. I’m surprised and amazed that the one who used to look so upright and kind… has become very bright and cheerful these days. I believe it’s because you’re with us. It seems like just yesterday you were nervous and not confident when you had to sing and perform on stage, but seeing your performance these days makes me think you sing really well. It’s no doubt the result of working hard for a long time. Even though I have been watching you for a long time, it still touched me how you secretly work hard to make up what you lack in. I thought of you as a hyung whom I have a lot to learn from. Let’s keep going together for a long time in the future too.

P.S: But I hope you can act your age.”

SEOKJIN → JUNGKOOK

“To. JK

Hi JK, it’s hyung.

I’m always thankful to you. Thanks for having the same mental age as this 26-year-old hyung. And traveling with you this time made me feel this once again. Your fists are really strong. I will be good to you, don’t hit me, got it? And your face got tanned a lot. As I’m your hyung I’ll give you facial masks when we get back to Korea. Calm your skin and yourself as well, stop lying on my bed. You keep lying on my bed when I’m not there and send me your selfies. If you do that one more time, your face may have got tanned in Hawaii, but I’ll throw you into the fire pit in Korea. And by “fire pit” I mean my firey heart. You can come into my big embrace. Thanks for always becoming our team’s teacher and energizer. To Jungkook who’s kind and handsome and strong and has nice body and big eyes and sings well and dances well, I love you.”

JUNGKOOK → NAMJOON

“To. Namjoonie-hyung

Hi hyung, it’s our team’s maknae, Jungkook.

I’m not the type to write letters often so I don’t know where to start, but I’ll try this time. This is something I always think about every day, but I really am inspired a lot by our team. Although I’m inspired by all 7 members, but I’m especially inspired the most by you. I always want to do a lot of things but can’t stick to them long, like how you guys always joke with me. But gradually, it feels like I really became that kind of person. When you work, talk about music, compose or speak in English, I feel like I grew a sense of confidence and passion. I know it must be tired for you, but please keep showing me your that cool side of yours in the future. I will keep following you from behind. You are a really awesome person.”

TAEHYUNG → JIMIN

“To Jimin.

Hi Jimin.

It cringes me a little to write a serious letter to you like this, but I’ll try. Hope you understand. When we were trainees, we came to Seoul without knowing anything. We would wake up, put on uniforms, go to school together, eating together after school ends, go to the practice room together, go back to the dorm together, and chat together at night. 6 years passed and unknowingly, you have become my dearest precious friend. There was a time before we debuted when you were anxious because of the debut. I had a meeting with the company at that time. They asked me “What would it be if Jimin was on the team?”. After thinking for a while, I said, “There’s no one who’s by my side when I’m tired or happy to laugh and cry with me but Jimin. I hope such a friend could be by my side. I want us to debut together.” It felt good to say that. I’m happy that we was able debut together and make lots of good memories. And sorry, because I’m always the one who take. Even know, you still cry with me when I cry in the bathroom, laugh with me when we sneak out at dawn, care about me and think of me, work hard because of me and understand me, listen to my worries, liking someone who’s lacking so much like me. Let’s keep walking together on the flower path for a long time. I love you, my friend.”

NAMJOON → TAEHYUNG

“Taehyung-ah.

So my first letter is to you. I have mixed emotions. Like the pebbles on the beach we saw in Hawaii, it’s hard to pick out what I want to say to you. Maybe it’s because we’re cherishing so many memories and so many moments like the sea we saw? I thought of the time when I first met you. Seeing you following your father, roaming around the dorm with big eyes and pouty lips, I already felt it from first sight. “This kid will be a rascal”. I remember how anxious you were before we debuted. Your unique and strange character is so vague that I sometimes questioned what’s in you that helped you endure all the way here. But as time passes and I mature more, I learned that even I, who I myself thought was the most normal, am quite strange and unique like an alien. I was drawn by your strangeness. Sometimes I really envy you. Because you can get close easily to anyone and everyone likes you. Your strangeness proved to be your unique charm. It may sound cringeworthy, but as a friend, a hyung who have been with you from the beginning of your trainee journey to now, I wanted to say thank you to you. Thank you for not becoming a farmer, not playing saxophone and came to Big Hit instead. Let’s keep up the good work. Fighting.”

HOSEOK → YOONGI

“To. My bro Suga
From. J-hope

Hi hyung? It’s Hoseok.

Without realizing, we have been together for 7 years, including our trainee days. When I first moved to the dorm, I was awkward and unfamiliar with everything, so I only stayed in the living room, but you came and talk to me first, helped me relax. I still can’t forget that time. You were like the savior to me, a Gwangju kid. Always by my side when I’m hurt, always by my side when I’m sad. You’re always there to support me and become my strength when I’m tired or exhausted. When I was tired from seasickness in Bon Voyage 2 this time, the first one I saw after opening my eyes was you. I couldn’t say then but I was really grateful to you. Through this letter and this chance, I want to tell you again that my gratitude to you is as great as the time we spent together. Hyung, thank you for becoming a member of BTS, thank you for becoming my dependable brother. Please keep staying by my side forever. I love my bro.”

JIMIN → HOSEOK

“To. Hoseokie-hyung

This wasn’t my first letter to you so I thought it wouldn’t be hard, but it was indeed not easy. I’m nervous. You’re the one whom I talk and share a lot with so think you’ll know well what I think and what I want to say. What do I think when I see you? “This person is really truthful and sincere”, “This person is really upright and kind”. You are probably the first one that made me understand a person can become this cool just by being truthful and sincere. As your brother and fellow member, I have a lot to learn from you. I wanted to tell you that I know you are always working hard to take care of us and I’m always sincerely thankful to you. Thank you, hyung. I hope you can take care of your body and stop worrying too much. To my hyung who I’m always thankful for, I love you.”

What You Don’t Know About the Moon Signs

ARIES: They are fighters, they go through so much turmoil and still manage to rise above it. They have so much passion and love for their family and loved ones, they tend to hurt these people the most, as Aries is emotional and can go through a range of emotions in such a short span of time. They tend to beat themselves up a lot for all the shit they do. They just need the love and attention they may not have received in early life.

TAURUS: Family and home are very important to Taurus moons. They strive for long term relationships and are generally loyal to their significant others. They can come off as needy, clingy, and obsessive leaving them heartbroken many times in their life. This may stem from a family who suffocated them or were distant. They think they are boring and typical, they need someone who will love them for all their faults and see the life in them that others do not.

GEMINI: Gemini moons have a rep for being emotionless, cold, and a total heartbreaker. This isn’t true by any means. Gemini moons feel a range of emotions, so overwhelming that they shut it down completely and focus more on their mind than their heart. They don’t know how to feel sometimes, leading to depression and anxiety. It’s not that they don’t want anyone to love, they are actively searching for someone who understands they need space, they want to take things slow, which can be hard to understand because of how open they are. Gemini moons are full of love, wit, and enthusiasm. 

CANCER: Known for being clingy cry babies. But, really you guys?? Cancer moons are your best bet and probably the most misunderstood. These people would do ANYTHING for those they love. I’m talking like, giving you their last dollar so you can get something you want. They put the needs of their loved ones before themselves. They just want to nurture you and love you and want that back from you. They don’t want anything else. The “mom” friend, even if they’re male. These people are so fucking sweet. (Issues with the father are noted)

LEO: Okay, so they can be dramatic, but it’s because they feel so deeply and just want attention. They have a tendency to be conceited and arrogant but truthfully, they are very insecure about themselves and this stems from harsh parents who were very concerned with their status and their children’s looks. They just want you to pay attention to their rants, their stories, their generous acts. Thank and compliment a Leo moon today (unless they’re genuinely being an ass)

VIRGO: Virgo moons put a huge wall between their feelings and others, from fear of rejection, general anxiety about love, and not being well developed in their feelings. Because of this huge amount of baggage they put on themselves, they can love deeply one second and become critical and harsh the next. They need someone who will understand this and calm them down when things get too rough.

LIBRA: These beauties are some sweet talkers. And super generous, too. They’re usually the ones to not take sides during an argument between their friends, they talk to each one individually and attempt to work out a solution. Arguments, confrontation, and fighting are a huge fear for them, they can’t ever seem to say no to favors or stand up for themselves. Libra moons put their loved ones before themselves all the time. They need someone who will speak up for them or break them out of their shell and reassure them they’re allowed to say no if they want. 

SCORPIO: Scorpio Moons have intensified emotions and lead very private lives. Scorpio Moons are harder to get through than Scorpio Suns, actually. They fear others taking advantage of them or controlling their lives, so they don’t get involved in relationships very often but when they do, they’re likely to leave fast. They like the idea of love instead of love itself. Scorpio moons want so much to be in love, but they’re just too scared. The mother of the Scorpio moon was likely full of turmoil, leading to their trust issues. A constant with her leaving her child, or possibly having passed away.  They need someone who will be patient and understanding of the issues they have.

SAGITTARIUS: Impulsive, rapidly changing emotions are a constant for Sagittarius moons. There’s a pattern of reckless behavior / emotions and often being blunt and direct, which obviously hurts the feelings of others. Deep down, Sagittarius moons are very loving and affectionate. They just need someone who will understand they don’t always mean the things they say. They need someone who can keep up with their active mind, changeable emotions, and wild spirit.

CAPRICORN: Most likely of them all to have issues with the father, 2nd being Cancer Moons. Often, childhood trauma has effected them, making them take on responsibility for themselves early on, out of fear that no one can take care of them but themselves. They’re overly protective of their emotions and attempt to show no signs of actually being fragile. Once in love, they are committed and true. They need someone who will not be afraid to work hard for them. It’s not that they mean to be complicated, they’ve just been through a lot.

AQUARIUS: Freedom and individuality are absolutely important to Aquarius moons. They need space to breathe in, they need to be fully themselves, and they need times where they can be on their own. This doesn’t mean they’ll flake on everyone, this just means that people can be too much for them at times, even if they’re extraverted. They are friends to everyone they know, having friends from many different backgrounds. Their mother may have been distant, not giving the love and attention that should be given. This can make Aquarius moons adopt the same persona, distant and cold with their emotions. But when they truly open up to someone, they love with all their heart.

PISCES: Literally the most romantic of all the moon signs, and a huge flirt. Affairs are likely with this placement. Pisces moons have a strong intuition and immense creativity. Sometimes they get lost in their own world and lose sight of reality. They can make people out to be something they’re not which is dangerous if that person is actually toxic. It’s likely their mother had a drug addiction, and it’s likely Pisces moon will also have an addiction. They need someone who can ground them and bring them back to earth before they become too oblivious to their surroundings. 

I do full birth chart readings for $3-$15 and tarot readings ranging from $1-$3. PayPal payments only. Message me if interested! ~ Luminatress

BTS Explain Concepts Behind ‘Love Yourself: Her’ Album: 'This Is the Beginning of Our Chapter Two’

Mere hours before the release of BTS'Love Yourself: Her, the album’s significance wasn’t lost on the group’s leader, Rap Monster.

“It’s really a huge, big step for us,” the 23-year-old rapper/songwriter/producer told Billboard during a phone call from Seoul. “Of course, every member is so excited about the album. We’ve been just practicing until now, day and night, to show these new songs and perfected performances. I left a message on our fan cafe, the other day, after we finished that 'this EP will mark the turning point of BTS’ and even though the wait felt really long with this album – I think it was the huge event, the BBMAs, were in May – so much has happened.”

The wait has been particularly anticipated for for the band’s famously passionate fan base, known as Army, who have been waiting for new tracks from Rap Monster, Jimin, Suga, J-Hope, Jin, V and Jungkook band after voting them Top Social Artist at the 2017 Billboard Music Awards over fellow pop juggernauts Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez and Shawn Mendes.

Since then, the BTS guys have landed distribution deals with Amazon and U.S.-based The Orchard (“We believe the physical album, still, really counts and it’s really important to connect with our fans around the world,” Rap Monster said) and hung out with worldwide chart-toppers like Major Lazer, Halsey, Charli XCX(“Maybe it’s just my sixth sense, but I think maybe we will be collaborating with even more interesting artists,” he added); even snagging The Chainsmokers to produce a beat for Love Yourself: Her.

One listen to the tightly produced record – which looks likely to make a big splash on the Billboard 200 next week – and the passion is palpable from the intense lead single “DNA,” the societal commentary in “Go Go,” among multiple lyrics and moments that feel ripped from the members’ personal journals. There’s also loads of passion in Rap Monster’s voice talking about these new songs as he sees and envisions the larger picture and message for his band’s latest batch of forward-thinking EDM, hip-hop and pop tracks. Read on for Billboard’s deeper analysis of Love Yourself: Her with Rap Monster.

Let’s start right from the beginning with “Serendipity.” Why was this the right song to choose as the intro and kick off the era?

When I wrote the lyrics, melodies and the first themes of “Serendipity,” I tried to come up with some rare things you find in life, something very special, like the calico, three-striped cat; things that have extraordinary meanings in people’s lives. I wanted to share this moment.

I was reading the lyrics are gender neutral, which I think is really powerful. Was that a conscious decision?

The lyrics were based on rare and special things in life. So, I thought, those feelings transcend genders, cultures and barriers between people.

We always put out the “Intro” just before releasing our single, so the intro is taking the role of telling the concept of this album. But “Serendipity” was actually the right song to share the feelings of our single, “DNA.” The title is about how our DNA is connected in the universe, I think that was the right feel for this album.

Let’s talk about “DNA.” How does this single continue and progress the story of BTS?

When we’re talking about our title tracks, “DNA” is about the expression of a young, passionate love. The lyrics are like, “The two of us our connected fatefully from the start, our DNA was just the one thing.” At the same time, “DNA” is taking BTS to new ground. We tried to apply new grammar and perspectives – if you listen to the song, you’ll understand what I’m trying to say – it’s very different from our previous music, technically and musically. I believe it’s going to be the starting point of a second chapter of our career; the beginning of our Chapter Two.

“Best of Me” is really impressive. It sounds like The Chainsmokers, but it also sounds like BTS. You didn’t lose yourself which isn’t easy when collaborating with new artists. What was that process like?

I love that track! We met them at BBMAs, we were so lucky. Actually, they invited us to their concert just the other day – they had a huge concert in Korea and we sang “Closer” together. For “Best of Me,” they gave us several tracks and samples months ago, we and our producers picked one sample, like, “Okay, this is fit for our next album.” So we worked on it, we sent it to them, we asked them what they think of the track we developed and got their opinions. And we made it! I’m so excited for it. [Laughs]

Your albums always have deeper social and society commentaries. Let’s talk about some of the topics with this release. “Go Go” instantly comes to mind.

“Go Go” is a trendy song, but it’s about how our young generation are living their lives with low expectations and standards so people are upset with reality; they have little hope and there’s so much economic hardship. We wanted to say something about it and emphasize to the world that it’s not their choice, but brutal reality that forces people to live and spend as if there’s no future.

But in Korea, “YOLO” has become a big key word for young people because we don’t have money and it’s really hard to get a chance to earn a lot of money. I think society has a lot of problems for young people. Young people spend their money on claw crane machines at arcades and they spend like $30 on trying to win these dolls. And then it’s like, “Oh! I spent all my money…shit. But I don’t regret.” That’s the biggest luxury for Korea’s young people: collecting accessories, cosmetics, that’s what they think is a luxury. It’s “YOLO” because it’s like, “I’m gonna buy all this! I’m gonna buy all this food and I’m going to eat it! I’m going to do it!” I think it’s sad because it’s all we can. “Go Go” is just saying, “Okay, just do it, we won’t regret it. Just spend several bucks on the machine and eat the food!” But at the same time, the song is very easily to sing along to so I think many people will like that song, especially if they find the deeper meaning.

Of course, I have to ask about making a skit interlude out of your BBMAs acceptance speech.

You need to hear “Mic Drop” because the skit was my speech at BBMAs –  because that was a big moment for our history – and then we put “Mic Drop” next to that because it’s like a flex – like, “Okay, we’re done. We don’t need to give a shit about anything.” That was the right skit and follow-up song for this album.

The last song, “Outro: Her” really spoke to me. It almost reads like a diary.

Ha! [Laughs]

After talking with you, it feels like it recaps the whole album and is really introspective.

I think that was the fastest work I did for this album. I wrote the verse in 20 minutes; it just came, very truthfully, from the bottom of my heart. I thought it was the right outro for this album because it is really a range of emotions – I’m saying I met this person that I really love, this person is the love of my life right now, I’m saying that I was confused and I was looking for love and this world is complex. But I think it’s you so, “I call you 'her,’ 'cause you’re my tear.” “I think you’re the start and the end of me.” That’s what I’m saying: You’re my wonder, but you’re also my answers. You’re my “her,” but you’re still the “tear.”

The hook is saying that love is not all about the happiness, it’s just not just about the joy, it’s not just about delight. If you want to love a person, you should know that there are tears and there can even be hatred inside of it. I think a love really includes all of that. That’s what I was trying to say. It’s complex.

And if fans are so lucky to own the physical album, they’ll hear two hidden tracks at the very. Why keep them secretive?

I think they’re hidden because you have to be a real fan of BTS to understand them. Otherwise, you won’t. Otherwise, you’d like be, “Why are they feeling so confused about things? They’re good?!? They’re No. 1 somewhere, they have so much stuff, why are they worried?” People always talk about that. But if you are true fan of BTS and you buy the album and you listen to the hidden track – if you are an Army and we spent time together from 2013, 2014 – they could understand. It’s kind of more special, more closer, to our true hearts.

© Jeff Benjamin @ Billboard

My experience with the signs in my life
  • Aries female: so stubborn is incredible. A hot head. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Yells a lot. Cares a lot about her family. Very concerned about her diet. She looks like a cinnamon roll but is a beast inside.
  • Aries male : very intelligent, probably the most intelligent. Can either have a very scientific mind or a very literary mind. Loves to read. LOVES to make puns. Horrible ones. Has the biggest laugh.
  • Taurus female: MY BIGGEST LOVE. Literally the cutest thing. She is so smart and caring and it's true: she loves to eat. Cares so much about everyone, not only her close friends. She almost never get angry but when she does. Ouch.
  • Taurus male: a cutie. Always ready to cheer you up. DOES NOT. BELIEVE. IN. ASTROLOGY. Likes scientific shit. Loves old movies. Always laughs at your jokes. The best friend you can find. Loves Shrek.
  • Gemini female: so strong and independent. Her hair is always on point, so is her outfit. Either very tall or very short. They talk a lot and they love listening to you. Geminis are actually very lovable people. Best companion for a boring class or for lunch break.
  • Gemini male: very bold and confident about himself. Does his own thing. It's not that he is a dick, it's just that he has his own problems to take care of. Except Trump, Trumps is really a dick. Im sorry Geminis that he is in your sign. The cool guy of the class who has a different girl every week. A lil fuckboy but fun to have a chat with. Loves videogames and perfect pal to get drunk with.
  • Cancer female: not a crybaby. Actually HATES to cry in public. More often than you think, very extroverted. Very passionate about what she loves. High ambitions, starts many things and then get bored. So many puns oh god.
  • Cancer male: oh boy. "Nightmare dressed as a daydream". Makes you feel so special. Boyfriend material. Usually dark hair and dark eyes. Not very tall. Adorable. Special laugh. Will do great things in life. Very creative but kinda introvert(?) WILL RATHER DIE THAN CRY IN PUBLIC.
  • Leo female: very close about her private things but she will open up if you demonstrate her she can trust you. Loves everyone. Not that confident about herself. Very confident about the world, tho. Wants to move someplace else and experience. People respect her.
  • Leo male: Stonehead™. Literally smokes all the time to forget about the pain he feels. Hides emotions and then explodes, usually with rage. Either very close to you that he calls you every day, or he'll completely ignore you. Smart even tho it doesn't look like. The lonely wolf.
  • Virgo female: so stubborn and independent. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Can get very clingy to the people she loves but sometimes neglect other people she loves even tho she doesn't notice. Get mad easily for the little things. The queen. Just listen to her, she knows the shit.
  • Virgo male: cute but doesn't have his own personality. Sometimes gets involved in ugly companies and does things he doesn't want to. Very sensitive but tries to hide it. Actually cares about you even tho he wants to appear a tough boy. Pretends he doesn't care about school, ends up with all A. Probably very good at soccer.
  • Libra female: becomes part of your family if she isn't already. Amazing lipsticks. Always has great stories to tell. Lives in the clouds. Forgets about things easily but won't forget the important things. Has so many passions but get easily distracted when she is studying for an exam. Perfect person to binge watch Sherlock with.
  • Libra male: my everything. Pretends he's a gryffindor but deep down is a slytherin. Stunning. Gets high grade without doing shit. The teacher favorite. The one you can do stupid shit with. Will do anything for you. Listens to you 24/7. Loves tv shows. Very smart. Will probably end up doing something very important. Perfect dad.
  • Scorpio female: actually very sweet and caring, as much as cancer. Never shows off her emotions but you'll know when she cares about you. She's like a mama bear. She'll call you if she feels you are not happy. She'll call you constantly. Extroverted and kind. Best presents ever. Looks naive but very cautious.
  • Scorpio male: ok so my ex fwb was a scorpio and i gotta say they get emotionally attached. Pretend they don't care AT ALL and then calls u at 2 in the morning telling u they love you. Just be careful cause they don't know what they want. Obsessed with electronic things and sex.
  • Sagittarius female: literally on fire. SHE. TALKS. SO. MUCH. I have so many different feelings about her. Either i love completely or I can't stand her. She pretends she knows everything. She's so slow at doing everything, except talking. Laughs a lot. Very sensitive deep down. So loud.
  • Sagittarius male: Pretty introverted. The fire is hidden. He's a freaking badass. If he cares about you, he will show you. Most likely to call you at midnight for your birthday. Very sweet. Goes big or goes home, especially in love. Both a cinnamon and a sinnamon roll. Like if he ain't in the same political party as you, just don't mention politics. That's when the fire shows.
  • Capricorn female: so. she actually cares about you. but she has so much shit going on so she might forget to come at a place you invited her, she won't even apologize but when something happens to you, be sure she'll call. She's absolutely cute and she has been hurt so many times so it's hard for her to trust people completely.
  • Capricorn male: THE FUCKING FANBOY. He loves to travel and to try new things. He is so shy but with his friends he's crazy. Laughs at his own jokes. Extremely sensitive and when he loves, he loves hard. So intelligent and interesting. Absolutely adorable.
  • Aquarius female: the sweetest. she gets clingy to everyone but because she wants to have friends and do things and has a lot of problems but holds everything in and puts her friends first and she's hurt. The most precious human. She needs, she deserves to be loved the most. Learns very quickly and she's very honest.
  • Aquarius male: the devil™. Actually he is funny, like so many jokes, but sometimes it's just too much. He hates when people offend him. Gets on the defensive. Kinda selfish and cares a lot about like 3 people (?). Like he will kill for them. So much drama, boy. Probably failed history and algebra 2 twice.
  • Pisces female: such a badass and a cutiepie at the same time i don't even know how this is possible. she has such a strong personality and loves her friends. Determined and will fight with her teeth for what she loves. You need to have a pisces in your life. She always says she will kill a person but then she just like run away.
  • Pisces male: like just like the pisces female. Cares so much about his family and shows his emotions easily, whether is anger or sadness or happiness. Determined but also insecure about himself, but will do great things.

read-play-sing  asked:

Yesterday, you reblogged a post that bought into the false dichotomy of convenience food vs "hipster healthy" food. "Mom&pop healthy" is as cheap/cheaper than convenience food. Get a fridge. Most fresh foods keep 2 weeks if stored properly, make a weekly grocery trip to have no waste. Healthy eating means getting the nutrition you need and not going over the calories you need. Apples and hard-boiled eggs are both convenient and healthy. Learn to cook. You can be poor and eat healthy.

Aw, howdy, puddin’!

I am…

…reasonably middle class, which is a miracle for a full-time author.
…equipped of a fridge, a pantry, a chest freezer, and a working kitchen.
…capable of cooking for myself and others.

I am also…

…the daughter of a woman who raised three daughters on welfare.
…formerly homeless.
…a fat woman who has to fight not to slip back into disordered eating habits because of items #1 and #2.
…someone who goes to the grocery store multiple times a week.
…regularly furious about food waste in my own home when people refuse to eat their leftovers/help eat communal leftovers.

So let’s go.

The specific post I reblogged worked from the base premise that it is easier to eat, where “eat” is defined as “get sufficient calories to not feel hungry,” when you are not making a concerted effort to “eat healthy.”  It cited things like “a package of extremely filling oatmeal cookies for a dollar,” and “behold, ramen.”  Interestingly, it did not cite anything to support the “false dichotomy” you’re accusing me of supporting: for reference, here’s the link  http://seananmcguire.tumblr.com/post/164447064675/heyatleastitsnotcancer-candygirl1997

(There is a cranky comment about non-GMO unicorn poop, but as hipsters don’t actually eat shit, that seems less “dichotomy,” and more “angry.”)

But hey, that seems suspiciously like people wanting other people to stop dictating their food choices and assuming they’re eating that way out of necessity, and not because they’re lazy.  That can’t be right!  We need someone who’s seen both sides!

And that’s why now, as someone who used to eat out of dumpsters, as someone who was lucky enough to be poor in farming country and hence have access to produce seconds (IE, bruised and ugly fruit that no one else wanted), as someone who is emotionally incapable of looking at meat before checking the discount meat bin at the grocery store, I am going to answer the question of whether it’s cheaper to eat healthy once and for all:

No.

No, it is not.

No, it is fucking not.

I live near an independently owned fruit market.  They have, regularly, red and gold potatoes for $.99 a pound.  They have big Idaho bakers for $.59 a pound.  These are some of the best potato prices I have ever seen.  Had we lived here when I was a kid, I would have eaten potatoes until I wept.  Assuming that potatoes are now the bulk of our diet, and that we’re only eating the cheap ones, that’s a pound of potatoes per person, per day, for a total of $2.40.  Call it $2.50, after tax.  We are now spending $75 a month on potatoes.  No butter or sour cream, because potatoes are already starchy as hell, and fuck taste, but we have potatoes!

Great.  Do we have a kitchen?  We didn’t, always.  For approximately 1/3rd of my childhood, this plan has us eating raw potatoes.  But let’s say sure.  We can cook our plain potatoes.  Say we cook them every night, and have hot potato for dinner, and then cold potato for breakfast.  Can’t eat the school lunch–pretty sure that’s not healthy enough.  So I guess we’ll buy and boil eggs.  You can boil eggs and potatoes in the same pot.

How many eggs do you give the starving, miserable eight-year-old to fill her up?  Ballpark figure?  Is it the same number you give her fourteen-year-old sister?  Is it the same number you take to your back-breaking physical labor job?  We’re ignoring the emotional and social impacts here, and just focusing on the cost.  So say three eggs each.  Maybe everyone’s hungry, but hey, it’s health food.

A dozen eggs is $2.00.  We are now spending $60 a month on eggs.  That’s $135 a month for a diet that is probably not making anyone happy, but hey, at least it’s all easy on the digestion, right?  And if you’re eating three eggs a day, even if you’re soloing this You Should Be Punished For Poverty diet, your eggs aren’t spoiling.  Assuming you have a fridge.

Hope you have a fridge.

Your children have now started going home with friends in hopes of being fed, but that’s okay, because it means you have fewer mouths to feed, and if you don’t want them to be taken away, you need to make sure they don’t get scurvy.  So we’re going to add milk ($3.50 a gallon, hope no one’s lactose intolerant, if you water it down and watch them like a hawk, you can survive on two gallons a week, which adds $28 to your grocery costs, good job) and apples.  Red delicious, of course, which taste like shame, but they’re cheap when the store has them…assuming you’re not in a food desert, where the only apples are coming from the 7-11 at a dollar apiece.

There are so many things we could be buying to make this feel less like a Dickens novel.  There’s baloney, and peanut butter, and generic mac and cheese.  But they’re not healthy.

Eating healthy is a privilege.  When I made a dedicated effort to change my eating habits, my grocery bills increased by 60%.  I have the receipts.  Not because I was buying “brand names”: because I was buying chicken breasts instead of whole chickens, because I was buying fresh instead of frozen, because I was learning to fill up on things other than chips.  That’s just the way we’ve allowed this country to structure our food.

Yes: allowed.  In England–which has its own problems, please don’t take this as me going YAY ENGLAND LAND OF PERFECTION–they have laws setting the prices that can be charged for “staples,” like chicken, and potatoes, and bread, and butter, and eggs, and milk.  It’s much easier to eat healthy there than it is here.

But here, it is a privilege.

And it ought to be a right.

My (super honest) Take on the Moon Signs

Aries: Moody but energetic. Unaware of the other person’s feelings sometimes only because they’re total realists. Overall just A LOT of energy. 

Taurus: Calm and cool, very connected to family and somewhat cut off from people. Has witty moments and likes to make people laugh. Low key mean all the time though. 

Gemini: Very pleasant to be around, light and airy vibe. Can have very deep but also light conversations. Easy to get close to and will be there for you on their terms. 

Cancer: Brutally honest and if you’re good to them, they’ll be amazingly good to  you. Has very sudden mood changes that come as a surprise. Kind and caring to their friends (or acquaintances). 

Leo: Very egotistical and bossy. Has good moments and they’re very rare. Surprisingly hard to get close to. A little bit on the mean side. 

Virgo: LITERALLY THE MOST RESPONSIBLE WOW (maybe besides capricorn moon). Kind of a worry wart, and very analytical. Has a tough time with emotions. 

Libra: I know so many holy crap. Pleasant and serene vibe. I would say they’re both optimistic and pessimistic at the same time (depending on the situation one or the other). Really fair with everyone and tries to be a mediator. 

Scorpio: Has this struggle of wanting others to know them more deeply and yet won’t them. Quite creative and isn’t afraid of dark or mysterious things. Independence is a blessing and a curse with them. 

p: Sagittarius: Quite optimistic, (maybe) has an interest in other countries, travelling, or languages. Like Scorpio moon, independence is a blessing and a curse. Very intelligent but more prone to laziness. 

Capricorn: Uptight people to be around. Is very prone to negative attitudes. Probably the most responsible moon signs. Emotional matters are not their forte. Not a lot of sympathy for others. 

Aquarius: Truly doesn’t understand their own emotions. Especially when it comes to people. Astoundingly (no offense) has a lot of friends despite their emotional nature. 75% of the time they can be fine, other times they can be outright rude. 

Pisces: Supportive and sympathetic. Will be there for you thick in thin. A little bit out there, and low key lives in their own world. Lets people walk all over them unfortunately (only because they have a good heart). 

My experience with the signs in my life

  • Aries female: so stubborn is incredible. A hot head. She knows what she wants and she’ll get it. Yells a lot. Cares a lot about her family. Very concerned about her diet. She looks like a cinnamon roll but is a beast inside.
  • Aries male : very intelligent, probably the most intelligent. Can either have a very scientific mind or a very literary mind. Loves to read. LOVES to make puns. Horrible ones. Has the biggest laugh.
  • Taurus female: MY BIGGEST LOVE. Literally the cutest thing. She is so smart and caring and it’s true: she loves to eat. Cares so much about everyone, not only her close friends. She almost never get angry but when she does. Ouch.
  • Taurus male: a cutie. Always ready to cheer you up. DOES NOT. BELIEVE. IN. ASTROLOGY. Likes scientific shit. Loves old movies. Always laughs at your jokes. The best friend you can find. Loves Shrek.
  • Gemini female: so strong and independent. Her hair is always on point, so is her outfit. Either very tall or very short. They talk a lot and they love listening to you. Geminis are actually very lovable people. Best companion for a boring class or for lunch break.
  • Gemini male: very bold and confident about himself. Does his own thing. It’s not that he is a dick, it’s just that he has his own problems to take care of. Except Trump, Trumps is really a dick. Im sorry Geminis that he is in your sign. The cool guy of the class who has a different girl every week. A lil fuckboy but fun to have a chat with. Loves videogames and perfect pal to get drunk with.
  • Cancer female: not a crybaby. Actually HATES to cry in public. More often than you think, very extroverted. Very passionate about what she loves. High ambitions, starts many things and then get bored. So many puns oh god.
  • Cancer male: oh boy. “Nightmare dressed as a daydream”. Makes you feel so special. Boyfriend material. Usually dark hair and dark eyes. Not very tall. Adorable. Special laugh. Will do great things in life. Very creative but kinda introvert(?) WILL RATHER DIE THAN CRY IN PUBLIC.
  • Leo female: very close about her private things but she will open up if you demonstrate her she can trust you. Loves everyone. Not that confident about herself. Very confident about the world, tho. Wants to move someplace else and experience. People respect her.
  • Leo male: Stonehead™. Literally smokes all the time to forget about the pain he feels. Hides emotions and then explodes, usually with rage. Either very close to you that he calls you every day, or he’ll completely ignore you. Smart even tho it doesn’t look like. The lonely wolf.
  • Virgo female: so stubborn and independent. She knows what she wants and she’ll get it. Can get very clingy to the people she loves but sometimes neglect other people she loves even tho she doesn’t notice. Get mad easily for the little things. The queen. Just listen to her, she knows the shit.
  • Virgo male: cute but doesn’t have his own personality. Sometimes gets involved in ugly companies and does things he doesn’t want to. Very sensitive but tries to hide it. Actually cares about you even tho he wants to appear a tough boy. Pretends he doesn’t care about school, ends up with all A. Probably very good at soccer.
  • Libra female: becomes part of your family if she isn’t already. Amazing lipsticks. Always has great stories to tell. Lives in the clouds. Forgets about things easily but won’t forget the important things. Has so many passions but get easily distracted when she is studying for an exam. Perfect person to binge watch Sherlock with.
  • Libra male: my everything. Pretends he’s a gryffindor but deep down is a slytherin. Stunning. Gets high grade without doing shit. The teacher favorite. The one you can do stupid shit with. Will do anything for you. Listens to you 24/7. Loves tv shows. Very smart. Will probably end up doing something very important. Perfect dad.
  • Scorpio female: actually very sweet and caring, as much as cancer. Never shows off her emotions but you’ll know when she cares about you. She’s like a mama bear. She’ll call you if she feels you are not happy. She’ll call you constantly. Extroverted and kind. Best presents ever. Looks naive but very cautious.
  • Scorpio male: ok so my ex fwb was a scorpio and i gotta say they get emotionally attached. Pretend they don’t care AT ALL and then calls u at 2 in the morning telling u they love you. Just be careful cause they don’t know what they want. Obsessed with electronic things and sex.
  • Sagittarius female: literally on fire. SHE. TALKS. SO. MUCH. I have so many different feelings about her. Either i love completely or I can’t stand her. She pretends she knows everything. She’s so slow at doing everything, except talking. Laughs a lot. Very sensitive deep down. So loud.
  • Sagittarius male: Pretty introverted. The fire is hidden. He’s a freaking badass. If he cares about you, he will show you. Most likely to call you at midnight for your birthday. Very sweet. Goes big or goes home, especially in love. Both a cinnamon and a sinnamon roll. Like if he ain’t in the same political party as you, just don’t mention politics. That’s when the fire shows.
  • Capricorn female: so. she actually cares about you. but she has so much shit going on so she might forget to come at a place you invited her, she won’t even apologize but when something happens to you, be sure she’ll call. She’s absolutely cute and she has been hurt so many times so it’s hard for her to trust people completely.
  • Capricorn male: THE FUCKING FANBOY. He loves to travel and to try new things. He is so shy but with his friends he’s crazy. Laughs at his own jokes. Extremely sensitive and when he loves, he loves hard. So intelligent and interesting. Absolutely adorable.
  • Aquarius female: the sweetest. she gets clingy to everyone but because she wants to have friends and do things and has a lot of problems but holds everything in and puts her friends first and she’s hurt. The most precious human. She needs, she deserves to be loved the most. Learns very quickly and she’s very honest.
  • Aquarius male: the devil™. Actually he is funny, like so many jokes, but sometimes it’s just too much. He hates when people offend him. Gets on the defensive. Kinda selfish and cares a lot about like 3 people (?). Like he will kill for them. So much drama, boy. Probably failed history and algebra 2 twice.
  • Pisces female: such a badass and a cutiepie at the same time i don’t even know how this is possible. she has such a strong personality and loves her friends. Determined and will fight with her teeth for what she loves. You need to have a pisces in your life. She always says she will kill a person but then she just like run away.
  • Pisces male: like just like the pisces female. Cares so much about his family and shows his emotions easily, whether is anger or sadness or happiness. Determined but also insecure about himself, but will do great things
My opinion about the signs

Okay… I know this is not really my type of content but I always find these interesting to read so I thought I’ll post one myself.

Aries: you can count on them, don’t take things too seriously, get mad at small things, much fun to hang out with, somewhat egoistic, as soon as they find someone more interesting than you they will hang out with them (though, they will not forget about you)

Taurus: I always become extremly good friends with them, so relaxing to hang out with them, weird humour, very determined and stubborn, talk a loooot, in a relationship they need a lot of physical interaction, they make me feel like home, laughs about every little thing, cute laugh

Gemini: fun people to hang out with, their humour is so… unexpected like they say things you would have never thought about, tend to hide their serious feelings/emotions, take the side of the person they want to impress, think too much about how they can impress someone rather than just beeing themselves (even through their personality is way more charming)

Cancer: a little too sensitive for my taste, can get very annoying but they are too cute to be mad at, need a lot of protection, very giggly, great story-tellers (but they tend to tell you the same story over and over again), materialistic, put you first, loves from the bottom of their heart, pretty smart but dumb at the same time

Leo: warmhearted people, try to be funny and cool all the time (but fail eventually lol too cute), buys you a lot of gifts, attention-lovers, likes to meet new people, very vain when it comes to their appearance, very nervous when having tests/exams, naturally intelligent (unfortunately this doesn’t help them much in school), enjoys good food

Virgo: stress themselves way too much, overthink everything, usually very good in school, gets mad and stressed when things don’t work out as they thought they would, sort of a boring personality, they can talk sooooo much, very sensitive (!!!), tend to be too harsh on themselves, high expectations of themselves

Libra: naturally flirty af, cute smile, scared to be alone, talks most of the time about themselves, makes sure everybody is getting enough attention, very lazy, does things in the last minute, usually the one studying for a test/exam the lesson before, clumsy, needs protection, don’t like confrontations/fights, not good at making decisions or being on time

Scorpio: just like libras they talk a lot about themselves, get veeeeery obsessive over things and people, their staring is so intense that it makes me feel uncomfortable, cares a lot about their loved ones, scared to show feelings, makes very weird but cute compliments you would have never gotten from anybody else, sporty, try to flirt but that’s just a little… cringe-worthy lol

Sagittarius: now… these people are the absolut oppostie of me, always awkward when we hang out together, not the most loyal boyfriend/girlfriend/friend, always wearing top outfits, always looking good, cares a lot about their hair or in general their appearance, not the best in school, party every weekend, straightforward

Capricorn: makes sooo many cute compliments, I have this weird attraction towards them, extremly sexy, intelligent, can’t sit still, they are very weird people, humour consists of sarcasm and dad jokes and can be very dry, know way too well how to seduce people, not the best in expressing their feeling but they try, ABSOLUT SWEETHEARTS, gets shy when being complimented, very sensitive, never forget their mistakes and always regret them (no matter how small it was)

Aquarius: makes me feel like home at the very first meeting, either pretty chill or being pissed off at silly things, don’t like stubborn people, tendency to be very religious, very good friends, will do everything for and with you, works hard to reach their goals, plans everything weeks/months before

Pisces: I either like or can’t stand them, actually quite egoistic, not the best in using the right words, sensitive af 24/7, dark humour, cries a lot, scared to hurt someones feelings (even if they don’t like the person), avoids confrontations/fights by not saying what’s really on their mind, in a fight they will say the most hurtful things (and will regret them their whole life), using the victim-card way too often, most of the time smiling

post-emoji movie Trauma

WARNING: the following text contains spoilers and can be considered disturbing to some readers. especially my brain, because it’s leaking out my ears after typing this.

This is the first movie ever I’ve gone to see on opening night. And let me just say that, for the record, I’m glad I went to watch with friends. Without them, I would have most likely calmly exited the room, climbed up to the roof, and dived straight off.

Keep reading

Questions to Ask When: Developing Character Appearance

Hey everyone, Abby here! Today I’m coming at you with something a little different from the usual “advice on a certain topic”; this is something that has a lot to do with development instead. So what I’m going to do is think of as many questions as I can about character appearances and list them all here; hopefully it helps!

The Questions

  • What color are their eyes? 
  • Do they have heterochromia or anything like it?
  • How tall are they? 
  • How much do they weigh?
  • Are the answers to the previous two questions about the same as the average where your character lives?
  • What are your character’s three most prominent features?
  • Which of their features are they the most proud of?
  • Which of them are they most insecure about?
  • What color is their hair?
  • What is their favorite hairstyle? Do they wear it like this daily?
  • How much do they actually care about their hair?
  • Do they enjoy changing the style and color often, or will they wear it the same way their whole lives given the chance?
  • What race (or races) is your character?
  • Do they have any tattoos or scars?
  • How easily do they emote? 
  • Do they have a generally emotional face?
  • Which emotion do they most easily show?
  • Do they enjoy wearing makeup? If yes, do they prefer a more subtle or bold look?
  • Do they enjoy wearing jewelry? If yes, what sort do they prefer (necklace, bracelet, ring, etc.)?
  • How often do they wear makeup or jewelry?
  • Does you character ever wear merchandise for things they like?
  • Are they more likely to be found in a long- or short-sleeved shirt?
  • If your character had the opportunity, would they choose ripped or regular jeans?
  • Do they wear hats often? If yes, which one do they wear the most?
  • Take a look at their wardrobe. Which color is most prominently featured?
  • Still looking at their wardrobe, how would you describe the color scheme: monochromatic, gray-ish, pastels, earth tones, bright colors, or all over the place?
  • What is their favorite article of clothing to wear? Do they wear it more for look or for feel?
  • When choosing their clothes, does your character base their decision on look, feel, or both?
  • What constitutes as pajamas for them? Does it have to be strictly things meant to be pajamas or just anything comfortable enough to sleep in?
  • Your character has nothing to do today; they’re staying at home and nobody super important is going to see them. How are they dressed?

So, I think this should be enough to help you get started on developing your character’s appearance; I hope this helped! If you or anyone else wants to see me cover another topic in my next post, please don’t hesitate to leave a message in my ask. Until next time, much love! <333

Adding to canon is not the same thing as destroying canon

At San Diego Comic Con, we learned that Sonequa Martin-Green’s character, Michael Burnham, is Sarek’s adoptive daughter. The second I heard the news, all I could think was, “Let the hate begin.” And boy, did it ever.

I understand the disappointment, particularly with fan fic writers who invested a lot of time and effort into crafting stories that fit neatly into canon. Amazing how one sound bite can bulldoze right through decades of widely accepted fanon, huh?

Keep reading

Female Zodiac signs as girls I’ve met

(Not including myself)


Aries♈: independent & dependent at the same time, confident, popular, has the best hair I’ve ever seen, can be really moody at times, cares a lot about her friends, isn’t sporty, but still looks very athletic, a bit selfish but will defend anyone who she believes is worth defending and protecting


Taurus♉: mom of the group, somehow she always has snacks in her backpack, wears headphones everywhere, seeks a love relationship, stalker when in love, very good at cooking, marriage material, incredibly stubborn, strong af, loyal


Gemini♊: always in the center of attention, either very quiet or very loud, top class student, isn’t afraid of confrontation, obsessed with Harry Potter, writes poetry but is ashamed to show it (why??), gets bored easily, overthinks a lot, independent, not good at showing her emotions, but if she cares about you you’ll know, says she hates drama but somehow always gets involved in it


Cancer♋: poor little lamb, wants to help everyone but doesn’t know how to help herself, very sensitive™, kind to literally everyone, has been through a lot, thoughtful, very romantic, cries over every (even slightly) sad moment in the movies and TV shows, a bit paranoid, the best person to have on your side, loyal af, her laugh is the best laugh in the world (idek why, I just like it), creative


Leo♌: adores being in the center of attention, kinda annoying at times, either very bitchy or not at all bitchy, can be very jealous in relationship, confident, loves being loved and to love, selfie queen™, creative, dramatic, very emotional


Virgo♍: quiet™, overthinks, very knowledgeable, can surprise people like no one else, loves animals more than people, no one knows what she thinks, her mind is like a labirint, interesting in many ways


Libra♎: social butterfly, everybody loves her bc of her easygoing nature, creative, very kind except to people she doesn’t like - she tries to ignore them, hates confrontations, sensitive, she gives some weird vibes that makes me feel like I’ve known her for thousand years


Scorpio♏: secretive, can and will destroy you if you provoke her or anyone from her squad, perverted, likes to discuss things, tough love, it’s hard to know what she feels, intuition on point, basically protective mama bear


Sagittarius♐: very independent and outgoing, creative, hakuna matata, looking at her is like looking at the sun, honest about everything, good at physics, athletic, tolerates everyone


Capricorn♑: classy, always says smart remarks, sarcastic, very funny when in good mood, worries too much, always says exactly what she means, hates drama, sick of people’s bullshit


Aquarius♒: the best taste in music, independent™, always wonders about life, world and other universal questions, very open minded, extraordinary, creative, social, belongs to thousand fandoms


Pisces♓: that girl that is always confused in class, so adorable™, gets very excited about things she likes, whatever she does it’s sooo cute, open minded, sensitive, playful little angel

Touch

Here it is! This is my first oneshot and longest piece yet – please be kind. As always, feedback is welcomed and appreciated. Happy reading! xxh

Request? Yes! 

getting in a fight with harry and you almost break up and you have emotional sex where you’re both crying and stealing kisses and it’s raw and you’re both just so in love and i don’t know meaningful sex is so much better than just getting in each other’s pants when you feel like it – anon

Word count: 4.5k 

Genre: Angst/smut

Pairing: y/n & Harry

It was quite odd how you could feel so alone in a room so full of people.

Music jumping off of the walls, a steady bass thumping in your chest; laughter cutting through the air, cheers every so often as another round was poured out. The energy was addictive, yet you felt as if you were secluded in your own little bubble, away from everyone else and invisible to the party guests.

Harry stood beside you, happily buzzing with a glass of whiskey in hand. His laughs bellowed out from his chest and were much louder than normal – amplified by the alcohol pulsing through his body. He wasn’t drunk, but the extra confidence given to him by the glass he held was very obvious.

He’d turn to you, mouth parted and about to ask a question, but was swiftly pulled away by an eager acquaintance to congratulate him on ‘his big debut in Hollywood!’ or ‘his incredible new music!’. Harry was too kind to just brush off the compliment with a simple “thank you,” and was quickly taken up in another conversation, leaving you alone.

Keep reading

20 things I learned at 20

1. You can have only one best friend and that best friend can only be you. Because you may come across a dozen lovely people but the only one who can keep the ‘forever’ promise is you.

2. Family is the most important. This is the only love that is truly unconditional and absolutely pure. They love you when you’re 5 and when you’re 18. They love you in your failure and your success. Their love doesn’t increase because it’s already at its maximum right from the beginning, it’s already infinite.

3. Cocktails and aerated drinks may soothe your taste buds but tea soothes your entire body. It’s warm and calming and well, healthy.

4. Your first kiss means nothing if it’s not with the right person. And the right person doesn’t mean your soulmate or someone who will never break your heart but someone who in that moment loves you as much as you love them.

5. You’ve written over 350 exams and you’ve got a perfect score in some and scored miserably in others but do you remember your 9th grade math score? Do you even remember 9th grade math? Education is so important but not the stress and competitive grading that comes along with it. If you get a low score or even fail, not much will happen – you will get a retest. But if you get ill – mentally or physically, it will have undesired long term effects.

6. In 8th grade your school psychologist told you that you’re one of the few people who walk in life with open arms loving and helping everyone, not because you haven’t bled but because you know you will heal and have the strength to do so. At that point you laughed at her but now, years later you’re loving, accepting and helping in spite of having both, actual and metaphorical scars.
You’re kind and admitting that doesn’t make you conceited.

7. Goodbyes don’t always have to be dramatic. Writing an 800 words message won’t make it hurt any less than an 8 words one. Closure usually has not much to do with the ones who wronged you but with taking your time in dealing with all the stages of grief. Some stage like anger may take only a month but acceptance may take years and that’s okay.

8. Jealousy is a basic human trait. They can be the closest to you and yet envy your happiness and life. Envy is something you too experience and you can be happy for them and be sad for yourself at the same time because so bitter it is to view happiness from someone else’s eyes. You aren’t a horrible human being if you feel like there are better shades of green your grass could be.

9. Read at your own desire and pace.
You don’t have to read particular books to qualify as a bibliophile or read a specific number of books to be a bookworm either. Read what truly interests you and take your time because reading was never a task, don’t make it one now.

10. Money is important. Money can’t buy love but it can buy happiness. But not blood money. Money honestly earned through hard work. That kind of money is good, that kind of money is required. You have a certain standard of living and if you want to maintain that after your parents stop financing you, you must make sure to earn the same. It doesn’t make you a snob or a spoiled brat, it only makes you a human aware of your wants, many of which have turned into needs by now.

11. There are somethings you just never grow out of like bubbles and glitter and your mother’s hot chocolate and hugs. Those are the kind of things that make life bearable when adulting gets too hard. Those are the little things that matter the most.

12. You cry. A lot.
But you don’t cry in front of people for their pity. You don’t cry to manipulate situations. You cry because you accept the pain. You cry because you don’t reject or lock away your emotions. You cry because your mental, emotional and physical self are in sync and that’s healthy. That’s so lovely.

13. Bake cakes. They don’t have to look pretty as long as they taste delicious. Paint canvases. They don’t have to be a master piece as long as all the paint in your hands and face and jeans makes you feel complete. Write more. It doesn’t have to a novel or even be posted online as long as it lets you breathe a little lighter and smile wider.

14. Go for walks alone, sit on the beach without your headphones, look up at the sky without a lover, buy flowers for yourself. Nature is legit free (for the most part). And it’s the richest thing that the world has. Le it bring you peace, let it help you survive.

15. Make home feel home. Sometimes you won’t have your family to make it home. Sometimes you will have to make it home by putting a part of yourself and that means investing the time, energy and money in making it feel yours, in making it feel right. It may not be your ‘dream house’, it may just be a tiny room but it’s yours. Your surroundings play a major role in affecting your mood and vibe.

16. Energy is real.
You may not know much about Science beyond 10th grade but you do know this, e=mc ²  which means everything is energy, you are energy and there is positive and negative energy and you can feel it and you experience it in every person you meet, every place you visit, every room you step inside. You can and you must choose to surround yourself with positive energy. What you attract, you do get; what you attract you become.

17. Spend time with yourself. It’s some of the best time you will have. You need to unwind, you need it to re-energize, you need it to focus and you need it for peace. You can go to a cafe by yourself, write, read, meditate, talk to yourself out loud, dance in your underwear, cook and just be.


18.  Take care of yourself- no one else can, no one else will. Drink loads of water, there’s a reason why more than half your body is made up of water. Sleep well because staying up all night isn’t something to be proud of, it’s stupid. Don’t skip breakfast because skipping breakfast makes you crave fatty foods for the rest of the day. Stay healthy not because you want to look a certain way but because you want to feel strong and energetic and have an active mind, body and heart. Staying healthy emotionally and mentally is just as important. So let those who want to go, go and never say yes to something your gut wants to scream ‘NO’ to.

19. Love yourself. If you don’t love yourself you will look for other people to love you. If you don’t accept yourself, you will keep seeking other people’s validation and the moment they withdraw it or walk away, you will crumble. And you don’t want to crumble. You want to enjoy the one person’s company you have to live with forever – yourself. Work on being a person you’d love to spend your life with because let’s face it, you don’t have a choice. It’s a long term investment and the only one that will never fail you.

20. In Shakespeare’s words, “To thine own self be true”. In order to love yourself, knowing yourself is very important.  And knowing yourself doesn’t mean the adjectives that people use for you or what your zodiac sign says about you. It means what you know in your heart to be your truth.

One more for good luck?

21. You laughed and thought it was very witty when you came across the quote, ‘Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.’
but god. Can it be any truer? Most things you’re stressing over now won’t even matter 3 years from now. But good days will turn into heart-warming memories that will stay with you even 2 decades later.
Happiness and success are two different things but remember, they aren’t mutually exclusive. At least they don’t have to be.

#awkward #pining #ministry

Prompts: @tera2
Author: @queenofthyme

Harry read the article again. He didn’t know why he put himself through it. Rita Skeeter’s outlandish claims never failed to make him angry. And he’d already forced The Daily Prophet to run a redaction days ago. 

No, he did know, actually. It was the accompanying image. The one with Draco Malfoy staring right into the camera, unblinking, a challenge in his eyes. It was familiar but at the same time nothing Harry had ever seen before (except during his many rereads of this particular paper). Malfoy had aged. Matured obviously since he was now a Ministry official. There was just something about his face. The same but different. Harry was drawn to it.

“Auror Potter." 

Harry looked up to find that same face at his doorway, focusing a steely gaze on Harry. He was so shocked he forgot he was holding a cup of tea. It dropped to his desk with an embarrassing clatter, spilling its contents, all over Malfoy’s inked face.  

The Malfoy at Harry’s office door – the real one – didn’t move. His eyes flickered down to Harry’s desk, watching the spill unfold passively.

Harry jumped to his feet and quickly bundled up the wet paper, throwing it face down into a waste basket at his feet. He wasn’t sure if he’d been fast enough.

He looked back up to Malfoy, searching for any sign he might have seen. Nothing. But that hardly meant much. Harry suspected Malfoy’s emotions didn’t play so obviously on his face anymore. He nodded in what he hoped was a professional courteous manner. "Dralfoy.”

Harry froze, the awful blunder hitting his ears just as it came out of his mouth. He could feel himself blushing, his palms getting clammy, his knees weak. Was simply Malfoy’s presence enough to make him come undone these days?

And just when he thought things couldn’t get worse, Harry, not quite sure how much longer he’d be able to stand for, slumped back into his seat - or at least attempted to – but misjudged the position and ended up plummeting to the floor instead.

The only saving grace – if there was any positive to the situation at all – was that at least on the floor, behind his desk, he was hidden from sight. He wondered if he crawled under his desk and stayed there, if Malfoy would get the idea and leave. Harry was seriously considering the option when Malfoy came into view again, stepping around the desk to loom over Harry.

He offered a hand. Harry gladly took it, forgetting for a moment the current predicament of said hands. And sure enough, after Malfoy helped Harry to his feet, he quickly let go and wiped his hand on his trousers.

Harry wanted to close his eyes and crawl up into a ball in the corner of the room. He never wanted to look Malfoy in the eye again. In less than a minute, he had made himself look like a complete fool. And all it took was for Malfoy to walk in the bloody room.

Malfoy cleared his throat. “I just came by to say hello. I thought it was polite given we work in the same building now. Which, of course, you already know.” His eyes darted to the waste basket. Shit.

“I had The Daily Prophet write a redaction,” Harry blurted out, as if that would help. Although at least he managed to get the words right this time.

“That was you? I should have guessed. You never miss an opportunity to save my skin.” Malfoy’s lips quirked upward for the smallest moment before his composure returned. “Well, it was nice seeing how the other side lives. I suppose I must get back to it.”

“Right,” Harry managed to nod. “I’ll get the door for you.”

They both stared at the open door.

Having already committed to the pointless task, Harry hurried forward and tripped over his own feet, falling right into Malfoy’s waiting – his reflexes were still as fast as they were in Quidditch – arms. Could Harry be more embarrassing?

Malfoy righted Harry but kept a firm grip on him – perhaps he thought Harry might slump to the floor otherwise, which was probably an accurate assumption at this stage.

There was amusement in Malfoy’s face now, a lightness in his eyes. “Are you always this clumsy, Potter, or am I special?”

“You’re special,” Harry answered quickly as he didn’t want Malfoy to think this was how all his mornings went. Although, after he realised what he’d said, he quickly tried to take it back: “No, I mean, wait, I mean, that’s not what I  -“

Malfoy took a step back, dropping his arms. “No need to be so flustered, Potter,” he interrupted. “I keep all the newspapers with your face on them too.”

Harry’s brain short-circuited. He must have stood there blinking at Malfoy for a solid five seconds before he was able to ask: “All of them?”

“Thirty-four and counting.” Malfoy winked. “You know, Potter, if you were to take me out to dinner, I’m sure the outing might be scandalous enough to make the front page. We could add to both our collections.”

“If I – you – dinner?” Harry repeated, a little discombobulated.

“Why, Potter,” Malfoy said, a cheeky smile appearing on his face, “I thought you’d never ask. I’d love to.”

Harry blinked – it was the only action he was capable of.

Malfoy laughed lightly when Harry didn’t reply. He made to exit, but paused briefly to call out over his shoulder: “I finish at six.”

Only when Malfoy was out of view did Harry let his knees give in.

more like this l @queenofthyme

Victor’s Bad Days...

Yuuri will easily come right out and say it.

Some days, Yuuri Katsuki does not want to get up. He doesn’t want to exist, he wants to disappear and never be seen again no matter how wonderful his life may end up. People close to him have known about his anxiety episodes for years. The closest of those people know how to deal with it; when to give him space and when to support him.
He’s satisfied with that group and knows how to cope on his own, accepting that those bad days do not define him. Everyone deserves to take time off sometimes to just breathe…

Everyone, Victor thinks, except himself.

He won’t admit it to anyone, even himself, that a Living Legend can have bad days.

When those days would come before, he’d shut his mind off and focus solely on his skating career. It’s not like he was close enough to anyone for them to notice that something may have been “off”; all his rink mates saw him as a man married to the sport and considered his aloof behavior normal. Little did they know how often Victor wished someone, anyone, would just tell him that he’s not okay and that that fact was okay.

The only person who undoubtedly can see right through him is Yuuri Katsuki, and he always knows when he’s having one of those days. It can be frustrating for someone so used to being alone, but he’s learning to accept the concern and open up a little more when he feels depressed.

Still, it’s difficult, and he almost always denies the real problem.

Keep reading

dsfsldfksldfksdf i’m honestly dead that gaming live stream was so good!!!!!!!!!!!! they were so funny and witty and natural and their banter works so well in real time and they just riff of each other so nicely and they work so well together and they flirted a fuck ton and im feeling so many things yall!!!!! here’s a v lengthy list of my fav moments: 

  • phil exposes dan and tells the audience dan makes fun of phil’s smile when they get their photos taken, and dan immediately wants to clarify he’s not being mean to phil, it’s all banter
  • dan says the big monster creature is phil’s mum and phil responds with his typical (giggling) outrage. dan immediately says he’s kidding and then says ‘love you kath’ bc he knows she watches and im gonna be honest that gave me a rush of emotion lmao 
  • phil: ‘take my lettuce’
  • dan: ‘feed me dad’ @ huge monster
  • phil: ‘plonk your tomato on my lettuce’
  • phil wants to name this ‘dan and phil’s salad dream’ dan immediately thinks that sounds like it could be a fanfic bc ofc he does
  • dan feels the need to clarify he was misquoted in one of the tweets from the jaguar event probs bc he saw the ppl dragging him for saying something that sounded like ‘millennials need products to help them go outside’ lmao
  • they have a loud faux argument when they both have to control driving the bus and my ears hurt but my heart is warm
  • phil tells dan to breathe before they start the first actual round and it’s cute
  • phil’s mostly on chopping and dishes duty and claims he doesn’t want to be sous chef. dan literally immediately responds by saying that typically the head chef is disliked by people and the sous chef is the one that actually does all the work .. wow …… what are these Emotions? it’s like when they were playing 1, 2, switch and phil was like, why do i have to be luigi and you get to be mario, and dan was like luigi’s actually the one people like :(((((( wtf :(
  • ‘get out of the way lad’ says phil to dan and i’m dying
  • dan making fun of phil for making a song reference ‘from 1982′ by fondly yelling ‘you relic’
  • dan says phil’s behavior is ‘absolute babuse’ .. and i’m crying bc they def just use this word now referencing the vid where phil predicts dan’s future and attacks him with a banana & dan probably thinks it’s hilarious that phil said it in the first place and why are they so fond of each other honestly
  • there’s a new chef in the game for round 2 who dan thinks looks like pj but phil thinks looks like the child of dan and pj and dan immediately makes yet another fanfic reference, saying a fic of that definitely exists (if there is where can i read it? does dan read parent!kickthefire fic in his free time? does phil read it bc of his mpreg fixation? i need answers)
  • phil doesn’t like soup bc is it a food or is it a drink (dan, vehemently: ‘it’s a food’)
  • dan says he’s gonna play this second round as the PJ-lookalike chef and phil takes issue: ‘i’m gonna feel like my friend has disappeared and been replaced by a slightly different replica’ dan looks at him blankly for a second and then says ’that was like a whole thing’ sdfjsldfsdf what a weird interaction ahahaha i feel like dan was a bit thrown by phil making a big deal out of dan playing as ‘himself’ in the game 
  • phil keeps reminding dan to relax and it makes dan giggle a lot. phil’s like, ‘philly says relax’ and dan just goes full dimply, crinkly smile and my heart has fully melted
  • phil says ‘oh daniel’ in a deep singsong-y voice. phil just sang a lot in general in this stream, the thing where he replaces words to common tunes with whatevers happening in the game, and he does that all the time and it’s one of his most endearing traits for sure
  • dan: ‘i’m going to give you a soup thats not on fire’ phil: ‘put it in my mouth’
  • dan’s making these horrendous spitting spluttering noises and phils just gentle and going ‘dan we’ve got another tomato to do’ a couple of times to get him to focus ahahah
  • ‘this is not a hierarchy thing. we’re both a part of this kitchen’ this feels like a metaphor
  • phil suggests they do a ‘fist bump of truth’ before starting the final round
  • ‘dan i love your butt’ dan reads from the chat, and promptly gives a dead stare to the camera before saying he’ll ignore the chat again for a bit
  • ‘don’t be upset I’m not offended’ says phil to the audience when dan screams at him and alleges that they would’ve done fine that round if phil hadn’t ‘ballsed it up.’ lmao!!!!! they’re both so aware of people thinking dan is mean to phil, its kind of funny that phil’s instinct was to laugh at dan yelling at him and then to reassure the viewers that he’s literally completely fine and no one needs to bother feeling upset on his behalf.
  • why can they just say a word like ‘potato’ and then immediately know the reference they’re both thinking of and both start singing at like the exact same time it’s disturbing
  • ‘dan and phil’s salady dreams’ says phil, he’s really into these suggestive salad phrases
  • phil: ‘don’t swear’ dan: ‘this is a christian channel. no yiffing’
  • phil: ’we’re like a well oiled machine’ dan: ’we’re symbiotic right now’ (is this them just describing their general state of being)
  • wtf was that whole ad bit??? phil had a potential contact lens issue and dan starts asking him about it before randomly breaking off to look at phil intensely and do some cutesy facial expressions and then ask in a strangely soft, almost childish voice whether he can ‘press the button’ and they both kind of just look at each other and giggle and then phil is like weird and placating in his tone and it’s ….. cute??? why was that interaction cute wtf? but it’s just a button to play an ad so they try it but literally no one actually got an ad (if u got an ad then u just missed phil getting up to check his contact and coming back in 10 seconds and dan saying like ‘hi’ ‘hello’ ‘what’s up’ or some random filler words like that)
  • when they look at the game again there’s a new chef on the screen and it’s a cat and phil is immediately like ‘i want to be the cat chef!!!’ and then dan is like ’speaking of yiff … hello there’ sdfksdflsdf i’m dying @ these actual furries
  • dan then goes on a small tangent about fursuits which was definitely him stating actual opinions about how fursuits should have more colors or like rainbow stripes, and if youre going to make one, why would u go for a cat? it should be fox or wolf or dog. in case anyone wanted dan’s opinions on that. phil looks legit uncomfortable for a fleeting second but they transition onwards quite smoothly
  • they shout out some of phil’s fav comments from the last vid which was cute and phil acknowledges his swear
  • phil: *wants to show the viewers their new fancy mic* dan: ’show me that micussy’ …. that about sums it up folks