so many books~~~

Books Read in 2017: Lord of Shadows by Cassandra Clare

“Everyone is afraid of something. We fear things because we value them. We fear losing people because we love them. We fear dying because we value being alive. Don’t wish you didn’t fear anything. All that would mean is that you didn’t feel anything” 

“As an Antari, Kell was made of both, balance and chaos; the blood in his veins, like the Isle of Red London, ran a shimmering, healthy crimson, while his right eye was the color of spilled ink, a glistening black.” -V. E. Schwab

i’ve read 35-40% of all legends books, so current goal: get that up past 50% by the end of the year, then finish all star wars novels by the time episode ix comes out

louisa may alcott, w. h. auden, jane austen, james baldwin, charlotte brontë, lord byron, truman capote, willa cather, emily dickinson, e. m. forster, langston hughes, christopher isherwood, henry james, federico garcía lorca, christopher marlowe, herman melville, edna st. vincent millay, wilfred owen, marcel proust, mary renault, arthur rimbaud, siegfried sassoon, william shakespeare, gertrude stein, alfred lord tennyson, henry david thoreau, walt whitman, oscar wilde, tennessee williams, virginia woolf

what do all these beloved classic authors have in common? that’s right. none of them were straight. not a one. every single author on this list experienced same-gender romantic attraction during their lives. literary tradition is a hundred times more queer than what your high school english class would ever let you know

musical theatre songs that i will literally stop my entire life to sing along to
  • ring of keys (fun home)
  • waving through a window (dear evan hansen)
  • non-stop (hamilton) 
  • la vie boheme (rent) 
  • spooky mormon hell dream (book of mormon)
  • come to the fun home (fun home) 
  • yorktown (hamilton) 
  • defying gravity (wicked)
  • 96,000 (in the heights)
  • satisfied (hamilton) 
  • take me or leave me (rent) 
  • dancing through life (wicked) 
  • king of new york (newsies)
  • revolting children (matilda) 
  • letters (natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812)
  • hasa diga eebowai (book of mormon) 
  • blackout (in the heights)
  • i’m alive (next to normal)
  • the schuyler sisters (hamilton)
  • carnaval del barrio (in the heights)
  • man up (book of mormon)
  • what is this feeling? (wicked) 
  • sincerely, me (dear evan hansen)
  • your fault (into the woods) 
  • we both reached for the gun (chicago)
  • one day more (les miserables) 
  • bad idea (waitress)
  • so much better (legally blonde)

ok so i know that tv shows are different than books. i Know that and i Know it’s impossible to include everything. but i can’t stop imagining potential scenes and losing all composure.

  • the first time we see 300 fox way. the reading room. blue’s bedroom. You Guys.
  • the first time we see monmouth from the inside. the bathroom/kitchen/laundry room. mini-henrietta.
  • the pig. THE PIG.
  • aglionby uniforms. 
    • and the entire wardrobe tbh. ronan’s dishevelment. blue’s deliberate wackiness. the boat shoes. adam covered in car grease.
  • how are they going to capture noah’s smudginess? what if they do Cool Cinematic Stuff like make him flicker or glitch. What If. 
  • gansey’s journal. Fuck. it’s gonna be real. there’s gonna be a real gansey’s journal.
  • the seasons changing in cabeswater. Imagine. 
    • truly Everything about cabeswater. Imagine.
  • finding noah’s skeleton.
  • also? um. FLASHBACKS. flashbacks? to anything pre-series? noah? gansey? ronan? 
  • the ‘murdered murdered remembered’ scene. Holy Shit. 
  • i’m gonna get to see robert parrish get beat to shit with my own two eyes.
  • adaM’S SACRIFICE. “i sacrifice myself.” spoken out loud in a henrietta accent. words into my ears. 
general li mulan

okay so i LOVE mulan okay. as far as i’m concerned it’s a Perfect Movie and doesn’t need any fixing. but i was thinking today and -

- what if mulan didn’t go to war to save her father?

say her father is dead, okay, killed by the previous war. so she’s raised by her mother and grandmother, women who’s complacency and softness has been worn away by necessity. she needs to marry well, for her family’s sake, because her mother has refused the hand of every man who offered. but mulan is even more rough around the edges than before, is educated not only in books (her mother said men wouldn’t find smarts attractive and grandmother pointed out that men aren’t always around and off to school mulan went) but in the sword too, taught to her by her classmate, ping.

mulan is considered in the lower end of the upper class, coming from a family of military men and scholars and successful merchants. ping is near the top, the son or nephew of an advisor to the emperor. his family is very rich and very important, and the reason they become friends is because mulan manages to notice something about him that he’s been hiding from everyone else - he’s going blind.

not totally blind, enough to get around, but blind enough that reading is difficult and swordplay is even worse, although once he has it down he has it. ping is no fool, he’s not weak or bumbling. his eyes just don’t work. so mulan notices and confronts him about it. she promises to keep it a secret, and hey, she’ll even help him with his assignments by reading the books out loud and helping him study. but in return he must teach her the sword, must teach her about military and tactics. he agrees.

ping and mulan become very good friends and there’s some raised eyebrows about it but they are TOO far away in class for it to be inappropriate, so they make tutting sounds and disapproving faces and let it go.

then the draft happens. ping can’t go to war, he won’t survive it. not with his eyesight like it is. so mulan offers him a deal - she’ll go to war for him, in his place. in return, if she survives, he must marry her. if she dies he must take care of her family.

ping can’t make this kind of family decision on his own, so he goes to his mother and tells her everything, about the eyesight and how he’ll die if he goes and mulan’s offer. his mother says he must keep it a secret from his father, but agrees - if mulan fights in her son’s place and survives, a wedding will be arranged. either way, mulan’s family will be taken care of. ping will be sent to live with some cousins in the meanwhile.

“you’re not in love with me, are you?” ping asks, helping mulan saddle her horse in the middle of the night. she scoffs and rolls her eyes, “not even a little. but marrying you will make my family happy, and besides, you’re my best friend,” she says, smiling, “better you than some grabby old man.” he smiles and hugs her and says, “i’m not in love with you either. but don’t die out there. we have a wedding to plan.”

so mulan goes to the camp, pretending to be ping, and she’s a little bit less lost but things still go as they go. she’s educated and trained, so it’s not hard for her to pass as ping. shang is keeping a special eye on her, thinking that she’s the son of an advisor, one of his father’s friends. and he sees how easily she excels, how quick thinking and smart she is, and starts giving her more and more responsibilities. by the time they’re called out, shang considers ping ie mulan to be his right hand man, and possibly his best friend.

he’s also a little bit in love with ping, and he’s long known he’s attracted to both genders, so he watches ping laugh and smile and the crease between his eyes when he frowns and does his best to let his feelings chase away the best soldier he has. every time shang looks at ping his heart clenches and he things to himself: i wish i could have you, i wish this was a time and a place where one man could have another, i wish you were a girl, is wish i was a girl - i wish we could be together. he’s literally a step away from doodling ‘li ping’ with little hearts over his battle plans. 

so the battles happen. shang and ping lead their men together, respected and loved. they each get promoted, and promoted, and promoted. it’s been years, and it comes to a point where they’re both generals in their own right. they trust each other, care for each other. and are both secretly in love with the other.

mulan is so conflicted. because she wants this war to end and to go home and settle back into life and become ping’s wife, so she can have an easy life spent studying and learning with her family taken care of. that’s what she’d wanted. but now what she wants is shang, her best friend, her brother in arms, her fellow general. she wishes to be everything to him, aches to be the woman on his arm and in his bed, but knows it’s the one thing she can never be.

then that final battle happens. mulan’s quick thinking saves them all and ends the war - but she’s injured.

shang finds out the ping has been a girl all along. he demands explanations - so she tells him everything, that she traded places with ping to save him, to become his wife.

and the lies should sting the sharpest, but they don’t. she’s still the same person, after all. it’s that she’s promised to another man, for one second he’d thought he might have her, but no. so he agrees not to reveal her but he’s furious and furious at himself for being furious and they’re not the same now, broken and splintered and neither of them know what to do.

the war is over. they leave. mulan returns home, and thanks to her ping is now known as a respected general. she’s done her part and survived, and now she gets her reward - ping’s hand in marriage.

but she sees ping for the first time and flings herself into his arms and starts crying. she tells him everything, because he’s still her friend, her very best friend besides shang, the man whom she lied to and betrayed and loves. and ping listens and takes her by the shoulders and says - i’ll uphold our bargain, if that’s what you want. you can be my pampered wife, you’ve more than earned it. but if you want to go to shang, i won’t blame you. you deserve your happiness.

and mulan goes back and forth, but ultimately she decides she has to try. if shang rejects her she’ll return and marry ping and uphold her family honor. but if shang wants her - he’s not as high up as ping, but he’s high up enough to satisfy her family, and also she would love him and want him if he was no more than a farming peasant so it doesn’t matter much anyway.

she rides to the capitol. she finally meets ping’s father, running into him while looking for shang. “ah mulan,” says this man who was never supposed to know of her until she became his daughter-in-law, “i didn’t expect to see you here. how fortuitous. walk with me.” she does, wary, and that’s how she discovers - he and the emperor had discovered her deception a year in, but at that point she’d already proven herself too skilled and valuable to lose. he tells her that he will uphold his son and wife’s deal and gladly welcome her to his household - but that she’s earned her rank as general, and that he and the emperor have no problem with letting her keep it.

she says thank you, shocked and joyful, but that she has to talk to someone first. “ah, yes, young general li,” he says, eyes twinkling, “i do believe he’s around here somewhere.”

she has no idea how he seems to know everything, but she finally tracks down shang who’s ecstatic to see her and hates himself for it. she confesses - says she loves him, that she’s engaged to ping but willing and able to break this engagement for shang. who is dumbfounded and elated and says yes, of course, finally and forever.

and mulan accepts her rank and marries shang, and they become the literal power battle couple of the general li mulan and general li shang. ping becomes a scholar and marries a very nice young woman who loves reading and is happy to read aloud to her husband with his failing eyes.

and they all live happily ever after.

So there’s a Harry Potter AU Victuuri + Durmstrang student Victor Nikiforov trend going on twitter and I hopped onto that bandwagon as soon as I could CUZ I AM TRASH FOR HARRY POTTER AU

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You are the future of humans and monsters!

Next part is here! In which Chara settles in with the Dreemurr family and things might actually be okay…at least at first. 

The next and final part will be here in a week!

EDIT: Fixed a spelling error.

Dogs of Future Past Masterpost

Previous Part | Next Part

They are amazing 😊

I love them 😍

Credit to owner
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messy ‘lil previews of my soon-to-be-printed(??) YOI model AU zine (๑´ㅂ`๑) 2nd pic is a charm design that’ll come with the bundle. For those asking, i’m waiting on pics of my zine sample from the printer this week~!  (◍ ´꒳` ◍)

The backstory for the whole zine is that Viktor is an ex-model, now turned fashion designer, and Yuuri is his protege who works under Nikiforov Models

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in love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.                                                                                                                        erich fromm