so long and thank you for all the fish

A Babysitting Love Affair | Zach Dempsey x Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff
POV: Reader’s/First Person

A/N: This was requested by anon! I hope you guys will like this as much as my first one. I kind of ramble on but please bear with me lol.
Request: could i request a zach dempsey x reader where the reader is babysitting zach’s sister, and zach haven’t met the babysitter yet and one day he goes home early and falls in love with her?

—–

“I’ll be there tomorrow morning Mrs. Dempsey.”

“Alright love, thank you so much!”

I smile as I close the door after Zach’s mom who asked me to babysit Zach’s little sister, May. She mentioned that she will have to go to Chicago for the weekend to take care of something and I was assigned to be May’s companion overnight since her brother is an extremely busy guy. The Dempseys are a close family friend, too bad I’m not really that close with Zach or May. It’s probably because we go to different high schools and it doesn’t really help that I can be anti-social at times. I know nothing about them, and they know nothing about me in return so it’s all good.

—–

The next morning

“I’ll be leaving now or else I’ll miss my flight! Thank you so much again Y/N for babysitting. I’ll see you girls tomorrow morning alright? Feel at home love, my number’s on the fridge if you need me and I left money for any emergency. Zach won’t be here until dinner tonight. He has basketball practice.” Mrs. Dempsey says as she bids goodbye to Zach’s little sister and I.

“Got it Mrs. Dempsey! We’ll see you tomorrow.” I finally say with a smile.

“Bye mom! I’ll be good, I promise!” May puts her right thumb out to her mom and waves goodbye.

“So, what do you want to do today, May?” I ask her as we’re left alone inside the house.

“Hmm, I don’t really have anything in mind. Oh wait I know! Let’s style each other’s hair.” She suggests with a gleam in her eyes; she looked so excited.

“Sure kiddo.” I reply with a smile and we proceed to the living room to watch TV. May got all of her hair accessories from her room for us to use. She decided that it’d be fun to start with my hair first and put them in pigtails and so she did. She chose these pink puffy hair bands to tie my hair. May had long, black and shiny hair which reminded me of Katniss Everdeen so naturally, I chose to put her hair in a fish tail braid.

“Wow Y/N, you’re really good at this!” she beams after her make over.

“Why thank you, Miss Everdeen.” I reply with a bow and she giggles in response.

A couple of hours later and it was almost lunch time. May wanted to order pizza and so we did. She didn’t like vegetables so we opted for a classic cheese pizza instead. A few minutes later and the doorbell rang, I ran to the door to open it, with the money in my left hand.

“Thank you so–” I begin to greet the pizza man but a ginormous, muscular guy hovered above me instead.

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anonymous asked:

I'm newer to the fandom so maybe I just haven't seen it yet, but I haven't really thought of Harry as a big drinker? I thought that was mostly Louis and his friends.

LISTEN you are missing out, my friend. harry is the sloppiest drunk and it’s beautiful but it’s been suppressed lately because they’ve been pushing the louis! lads! clubbing! stuff for a couple months. but harry! gets! so! sloppy!!

(it’s my head canon that he’s an incredible lightweight but what do i know maybe he drinks like a fish)

here’s a roughly chronological (based on hairstyle) post of the sloppiest pop star of all time THIS IS SO LONG BYE

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holesinyourlung’s valentine’s day 2017 mutual shoutout

a

@a-dent-in-the-moon @adrian-the-queerdo @aliengxrard @allofthedallon @alwaysfob @amesslikethis @angel–love @a-phoenix-in-thewater @apollonaire @aseriesofunfortunatefandoms @athingsoontoforget @awkwardsilencespeaking

b

@babygerard @baby-selfabsorbed @baka-hayley @barakatjack @berbereinjera @billyteddys @blowentz @blueberryheadalex @bluehaireddumbass @blurryfaceinblack @bokubabe @bootyqueenintears @bottomwadewilson @brallencer @brandnewscars @bvlletwithbutterflywings

c

@cactusrats @caffeine-crazed-cynic @camisado-in-the-afternoon @casesandcapitals @cemterydrive @charvstheworld @chefirwin @chemicalkidsfromyesterday @chubey @cosmos1701 @cozystump @cryptidstxt @cutetrick-stump

d

@daughters-of-darkness @deadpoolsbitch @dearpercocet @dis-mantle-repair @doitforeleven @dontberudenow @donutsforsteven @dracomalfoysdaughter @draculoidfrnk @dropdeadss

e

@emotionallycompromisdteenagedgrl @etherealstars

f

@falloxtluke @feverryden @ffudgesticks @filmsinthedarkofdawn @firebnd @folieadelano @fr0m-under-the-c0rk-tree @frankispamsmew @frankwhoa

g

@gerardisnotcis @ghostlilacs @ginasfx @gloomontheexhale @gothwaldo @grahannibalecter @grandtheftpatrick @grewuponyourbackporch

h

@h8culture @halechka @hallowentz @h-alsey @heckgerard @hellnorglory @heterophobickobrakid @heymoonpleasefuckoff @historyhauntsus @holy-smokessss @hoopedearrrings @humhallelujaln

i

@ibelongtomuse @ieromancy @illegalkale @iminbroarmy @inksomniaa @inkstained-hand @iwantyoualive @i-will-call-himsquishy @iwouldliveforyou

j

@jaded-ghost @jaspersmywaifu @jaytheasexual @jen–ne–sais–quoi @jessolation-row @jet-pack-shoes @joetrohmancantlose

k

@kaidan-is-trash @kiraisstillhere

l

@lachrymoes @lane-boyy @likethecatthatjustatethecanary @lityourfuse @lounqeact @losersanonymous @lovemeuntilimbetter @lovesodisastrous

m

@madandpunk @magickemaker @mary-embrace-life @merrickvnpsycho @middlemathmoose

n

@nicedogsonice @nihilstdespair @nocturnimals

o

@obsessoveryou @ofmonstersandmary @olakige @oldbloodchronicles  @operationblanketfort

p

@pandabub @peterswents @pinksharpedo @poisonics @postpvnk @potterdarling @prettyfruits @prettyinpunkstump @prinofpol @punkrockpeggy @punktearz @pwrbttmbnd

q

@qcrip @queerafbiologist @queercassianandor

r

@rapunkzle @romansholidays @randomnessunicorn

@s

@sadghostbxy @saintjrsy @saverockanroll @schnappsandrhubarbpie @sea-shines @secretlyadoginatrenchcoat @selftitleddarling @selflshlove @semilunates @shadwsdie @shorthairalex @skiddlyboopdeeboo @skizzorlover @smalltalktorture @so-many-stars-inthe-sky @somediamonds @smolquinoa @soulpunk-stumph @soulpuns @spacemice @spacemonster @spaceshay @spaghettishark @spookyramon @spittinqblood @stannie-is-on-fire @starindownaloadedgun @staring-odd @stillfeelthatrushinmyveins @stimmingsinning @staticvampira @stillfeelthatrushinmyveins @stluca @streetstump @stumpyvonstump @superrussian @sxulpxnk @syb0k

t

@tallvenusian @thatguyinachiffonskirt @thathaywoodguy @theballadofmonalisa @thecellabratian @thefrosebottoms @thelasttactician @themhands @thepennsylvanian @theunsubtleknife @thexstyles @thgchoir @thingsthatfly @thinkhappythxughts @thislossofsleep @tlgersjaw @tr0hman @trixymattel @trohley @trohmanaconda @twentyone-halseys

u

@unhealthyobsessionwith @unicorn-waste @uriedunme @urientheband

v

@vampirestump @victurious @vinylgoth @voyxus

w

@weezerselftitled @weirdosinthetardis @wellkeepquiet @whatacrapdonnie @where-the-dreamers-went @williamsuckett @wtffob

y

@yaltaarchitect @yelyahiero @yourfriendlyhumantrashcan

thank you all so much for making my experience on tumblr so amazing. sorry this is so late, i imagine it’s past valentine’s day for a lot of you. anyways, i hope you all have a good day/night/whatever it is where you are. take your meds if you need to, hold your pets if you have any of those (unless you have something you can’t really hold, like a fish, then just gaze lovingly at them).

anonymous asked:

What's everybody getting up to for Valentine's Day in the galaxy far, far away? Kylux? Finnrey? Techienician? I want to hear about these great celebrations.

ANON, I’m so glad you sent this, thank you! Yesterday I started this little modern AU Valentine’s Day ficlet and wasn’t sure I’d finish it, and your ask inspired me to finish & post it :33

It’s not the galaxy far, far away version, but it does feature all three of those couples! Happy Valentine’s Dayyyy~~!

I call this: ALWAYS SOMEHOW REHEATING FISH, as it was inspired by the new Girls episode and me laughing at that quote re: meaty near-naked Kylo and his naked partner being awful to their roommate.

~~


Finn smirks as he passes the long line at the flower stand in his building’s lobby. They ran out of red roses around lunchtime and are now selling the dregs to desperate people who didn’t plan as well as he has. He got an email confirmation that the custom bouquet he ordered for Rey arrived at her apartment two hours ago, and her creepy cousin actually responded to his text about placing it in her room. Whether or not Ben actually did so is still uncertain, as it’s hard to predict what he’ll do, regardless of what he says, but Finn has tried to come up with some reason why Ben might want to sabotage Rey’s Valentine’s Day flowers, and he hasn’t landed on anything yet. As obnoxious as Ben can be, he does seem to genuinely care about Rey. Finn would love it if this affection for Rey would translate into Ben maybe attempting to find his own place and letting Rey live her life without her codependent cousin haunting her steps, but he’s not going to hold his breath waiting for that to happen. Not yet, anyway: eventually he’s going to ask Rey to marry him. Maybe next year. At that point, Ben will hopefully take his cue to move out.  

If Rey says yes, that is.

It’s a gray and rainy Tuesday, just a little after six o’clock in the evening. Finn thinks about texting Rey, though she likely won’t have time to look at her phone until her shift ends in five hours. She’s a waitress at Jakku, one of the trendiest restaurants in town, and today will be hell at work for her: the restaurant is fully booked, packed with couples who will expect her to cater to them and their special day while she juggles ten other tables who all demand the same level of doting attention in exchange for Jakku’s insane prices. Rey has been dreading Valentine’s Day all week for this reason, just like she dreaded it last year, when she and Finn were still only friends. Last year all he did was send her supportive messages when she griped about the work day she faced and then about how gruelling it was. He’d offered to bring her some ice cream at midnight, when she finally got home, but she’d said she just wanted to sleep.

This year they’re not just dating but getting pretty serious after seven giddy months. Rey has given him a key to her apartment, where he sleeps more often than not, though he has his own place and it’s pretty nice, definitely quieter. But Ben is not there, and if Ben wasn’t inventing nonstop excuses to need Rey’s “energy” nearby in order to stay sane, he wouldn’t be Ben.

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“It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see…“
"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?”
“No,” said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, “nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people.”
“Odd,” said Arthur, “I thought you said it was a democracy.”
“I did,” said Ford. “It is.”
“So,” said Arthur, hoping he wasn’t sounding ridiculously obtuse, “why don’t people get rid of the lizards?”
“It honestly doesn’t occur to them,” said Ford. “They’ve all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they’ve voted in more or less approximates to the government they want.”
“You mean they actually vote for the lizards?”
“Oh yes,” said Ford with a shrug, “of course.”
“But,” said Arthur, going for the big one again, “why?”
“Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard,” said Ford, “the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?”

Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

Art ruinner - Roman Josi

Requested by anon: Hi! First of all, I love how you write, keep it up! I was wondering if maybe you could write an imagine of Roman Josi where you are a nurse in Le Children hospital who is in friendly terms with PK from the other times he visited and meet Roman when he and Fish went with him? Thanks in advance girly :)

A/N: omg, I’m the worst. I’m so so so so sorry it took so long. But I hope you like it! Thanks for requesting it.

Word count: 1189

Warnings: sick kids?

Master list

Originally posted by stanleycup

“(y/n)!” I hear from the other side of the hallway.

My shift has been incredibly hard and long, going from room to room and checking on every kid; so when I turn around and see PK  Subban I can’t help it but to smile widely.

“You are a sight for sore eyes, PK.” I answer, walking towards him.

I’m about to open my arms for him when I realize that he has company; that’s new. I met PK back when he played in Montreal; he had just started the PK foundation and he enjoyed coming to the hospital and meeting the kids and spending time with them, but he came alone.

“(y/n), these are Mike Fisher and Roman Josi.” He introduces me to the two individuals. “Guys, this is the prettiest nurse in the hospital, Ms. (y/n)(y/l/n).”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I say, shaking both men’s hands.

PK and Mike are attractive, but Roman is something else. If he wasn’t wearing a hockey jersey I’d have said that he was a professional model. His eyes are the prettiest of green and his smile could light up the whole city of Montreal.

“How is little Anthony?” PK asks, following me around while I check my clipboard for the next patient.

“Back home and making his parents crazy.” I tell him, smiling. Anthony has been sick since he was born, so the fact that he is home is the greatest news I could tell him.

We walk around, visiting pretty much all the kids who can’t leave their rooms. It is heartwarming to see how excited the kids are when the players walk in; that’s the beauty of kids, they don’t really care that they don’t play for the Canadiens, they are just excited to have them there, they think that it is the coolest thing ever.

“(y/n), (y/n)! It’s PK!” Justin yells at me as soon as I walk in, jumping up and down on his bed.

“Justin, do not do that!” I scold him, helping him down the bed and taking the heart rate monitor clip from his finger so he can run to PK.

“PK! Have you seen how much I have grown?” Justin is so excited, he pretty much runs into the three men.

“Justin, buddy!” PK picks the kid up and Justin bursts into a fit of laughter. “Man, stop growing or you are going to outgrow me soon.”

“(y/n) says that I’m going to be six feet tall.” He says proudly.

“At least.” I add, reading Justin’s report and looking for any indication from the doctor. There were none but to give him his normal medication. “Ok buddy, it’s time to my least favorite part.”

Justin turns around and looks at Mike and Roman, smiling cockily.

“(y/n) thinks that I’m scared of needles.” He whispers to the men. “I play along and pretend that I am, but it is all her.”

I raise an eyebrow and tell him to come to me with my finger. Justin sits on the bed, his legs hanging on the edge and I do it fast, he doesn’t even realize that I’ve done it until PK, Roman and Mike applaud.

“That was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen.” Roman says, and I catch a slight accent in his voice. Where are you from, Mr. Pretty Smile?

It takes an hour to go through all the rooms and we finally get to the play area, where the healthiest kids can play and interact with each other. Most little guys are playing hockey, as always. They use small plastic sticks and a foam ball, but the games get pretty heated sometimes; they were bumping into each other and clashing sticks instead of actually playing.

“Hey hey hey, easy there.” I say, sitting on one of the small chairs.

The kids are quick to drop their sticks and tackle PK, Roman and Mike, asking them to play with them. PK and Mike accept, and soon enough they are on their knees, playing with sticks that are the side of their arms. On the other hand, Roman sits next to me on a chair that is way too small for him.

“They are great kids.” He just says, looking at the boys play and the girls paint, lifting up their masterpieces for us to see.

“They are.” I answer, looking around. “That is stunning, Alyssa.”

“How long have you been working here?” He wonders, smiling at Ronnie, who is holding up a painting of a flower for him. “Thank you so much, sweetheart.”

“Three years.” I say, laughing when Jax launches himself against Mike, trying to check him.

Not gonna lie, it was hard sometimes; spending my days with sick children who haven’t had enough time to live and are battling to know something more than a hospital room.

“That’s amazing.” Roman says and I can’t help it but to smile.

“Where are you from?” I ask, changing the subject. I don’t like to talk about me.

“I am praising you and you ask me where I am from.” His voice is amused.

“Pretty much.” I shrug, grabbing a piece of paper and a crayola, starting to drabble.

“I’m from Bren, Switzerland.” He says, taking a denim blue crayon and starting to draw something on my piece of paper.

“Get your own piece of paper, Josi. You are ruining my art.” I slap his hand away and he laughs.

“You know what, I take back what I said.”

“You aren’t Swiss anymore?” I joke and he laughs again. God, his laugh is heavenly.

“The ‘you are amazing’ part.” He clarifies and I smile.

“You never said I was amazing.” I get up from my chair and lean over to whisper to him. “But I’ll take it.”

PK and the guys play with the kids for a little while more before they have to leave. They take the classic picture with the hospital stuff and some kids, and I walk them to the door.

“Thank you for dropping by. The kids are not going to shut up about this for weeks.” I say, hugging PK tightly. “Montreal misses you.” I whisper and I know that he is smiling.

“And I miss Montreal.” He squeezes my hand before letting go. “But Nashville is treating me alright.”

“It was nice meeting you, (y/n).” Mike says his goodbyes, shaking my hand again.

“Likewise.” I answer back.

Subban and Fisher walk away, getting into the car that will take them to the hotel, so it’s just Roman and I now.

“Thank you for coming with him. It really means the world.” I say truthfully.

“Believe me, it was my pleasure.” He sounds just as truthful.

“Well, drop by again if you are ever in the neighborhood.” I tell him and he smiles.

“We’ll do.” He assures me, and starts walking away, but stops half way to the car. “(y/n), maybe you would like to grab a bite someday.”

“You say that like you are going to be around for long.”

“Good point… dinner tonight?” His smile is still on his face.

“Sounds like a plan, art ruinner.” I say, turning around and walking back in.

anonymous asked:

Recommendation for a good book that you've read recently?

This is literally my favourite question and I hope you’re all sitting comfortably.

Every year, I do a series of book awards called The Random Yet Incredibly Specific Book Awards. While some of the categories repeat (i.e. The Empire Strikes Back Award For Achievements in the Second Book In A Trilogy), most are made up on the spot to fit a book I liked particularly (i.e. The So Long And Thanks For All The Fish Award For Creative Apocalypse).

This year’s list is can be found here.

Highlights Include:

Long Way To A Small Angry Planet, by Becky Chambers. I loved the pacing and how this was a sci-fi book that was going to turn sci-fi gently upside down and shake it, but only until it giggles, as opposed to emptying its pockets and running off with its lunch money. You don’t have to destroy a problematic genre to write better stories in it, and Chambers is perfect in every respect of putting this wonderful story together.

The Girl Who Drank The Moon, by Kelly Barnhill. This won the Newbery a couple weeks ago, which basically fulfilled all of my dreams for what Kelly accomplished here. It’s a MASTERFUL book, weaving together politics, social structures, sorrow, parenting, legacy, corruption, bog monsters, Simply Enormous Dragons, and magic in such a way that it’s still really, really appealing to children. I love this book so much.

And I Darken, by Kiersten White. An alternate history where Lada Dracul is hostaged to the Ottoman Empire (along with her brother, Radu), this trilogy kicked off to a STUNNING beginning. I actually got to blurb it, so I’ll quote myself: Girls with teeth and priorities. I would read this book forever.

The Fixer, by Jennifer Lynne Barnes. The pitch for this is “Scandal, but in a DC prep school”, and Barnes absolutely nails it. We don’t talk about world building in contemporary books very often, but The Fixer really highlights why it’s necessary and how it can be used. Barnes sells a far-out premise, but the world supports it so thoroughly that it never once feels weird. It’s amazing. Also, no one structures books like JLB. She literally has a doctorate in it.

Behold the Bones, by Natalie C. Parker. The follow up to my favourite book of 2014 (Beware the Wild), BONES is a wonderful book about friendship, love, small towns, history, legacy, murder and swamps that eat people. So, so good.

I just finished Windwitch, Susan Dennard’s new book, and it was EXCELLENT. And I am always, ALWAYS here for Diana Peterfreund’s Across A Star-Swept Sea, which is a gender-flipped re-telling of The Scarlet Pimpernel, set in post-apocalyptic Polynesia.

Aaaaaaa–this was meant to be a doodle but I got caught up in tiny details that are really not visible. I’m super late to the party, too but I wanted to contribute to all the pretty YGO Merfolk!AU that I’ve seen @jackthevulture do so much fanart of! Just as an aside: I really love all of Jack’s super well thought out fish people designs (especially long eel Baku) I just reALLY WANTED AN EXCUSE TO DRAW RYOU AS A TRANSLUCENT GHOSTY JELLYFISH. 

(Also–thank you (again) Jack for inspiring me to get off my butt and draw things even if it’s just ygo fanart.) 

On Quitting Youtube

So you’re probably wondering “why are you leaving us? Will you come back?” Here’s the thing: I just don’t feel the drive anymore. Youtube serves three functions: to entertain, to serve as a platform to create, and to build and develop a personal brand and recognition on the internet through large viewership.

Making youtube videos started as a hobby. It was a fun way to tell stories. I’ve wanted to tell stories my entire life. Anyone who knows me will know I enjoy telling long anecdotes (sometimes too long). I’ve aspired to be a writer my entire life. Youtube was a great way to creatively package an event in my life or an idea I wanted to present to the world. But you can only do something for so long before it gets old and tired. It started to compete with an increasingly busy schedule. I wanted to make youtube videos, but also work on photography projects, and write a novel, and read books, and actually play all those videos games I bought for cheap and then never touched, and see friends, and learn an instrument, and then of course work an actual job that earns me money on top of working as a freelance videographer/photographer to earn money etc, and suddenly there were just too many things to do in one day and things get neglected. So I didn’t prioritise it… and it faded into the background and Youtube became a thing I only did when inspired. Inspiration is sporadic and fleeting. I fell into inconsistency and with inconsistency came apathy. Why put effort into something that’s increasingly no longer that important to me?

Here’s the thing: it’s easy to say the views don’t matter when you’re small. But eventually they kinda do give you an indication of worth. I have hovered around 3200 subscriber for years. I peaked and I peaked early. I couldn’t get any better. Regular or irregular uploads didn’t work for growing my audience. That was it. I had carved out my niche in the youtube scene, small as it was, and laid there, unable to grow further. Not that I feel that bad about it but still, it was somewhat discouraging. Growing a youtube audience is rewarding. Even in the very early days when I got only 2 new subscribers per week it was rewarding because wow! I was getting bigger! Growth! But the thing is that growth on youtube is hard work. You’ll see with big youtubers their subscriber counts continue to grow but their average overall views don’t go up with that. You know how it is: you find a new youtuber, you love them, you watch all their work every time a new thing is uploaded, but then eventually you’ve found more new content and there’s only so much time in the day so your attention is stretched and you only watch the occasional new video, passing over new content from the beloved creator for something else. To grow on youtube is to fight entropy. It cannot be done indefinitely. Very few of the classic iconic big youtubers of years ago are still going strong today. Those who continue to upload have greatly diminished views. The WhatTheBuckShow has 1 million subscribers. His videos get 1.5-4.5k views each. I figured if I wanted to grow I needed to fit a similar format to other handsome young vloggers who are bubbly and have background music and always say at the end “if you like this, then share and give it a thumbs up!” and other calls to actions. But if I were to act like everyone else that’d be disingenuous. I’m not bubbly. I’m weirdly dark and deadpan sarcastic and my sense of humour is definitely not for everyone.

See, as much as Youtube is a hobby, it would be nice to have a bigger audience. I never imagined I’d realistically reach the 1 million mark but still. Bigger than currently. Not that I’m ungrateful for the 3200ish I have. I am so happy for everyone who watched and enjoyed my videos. It was definitely rewarding. But, like I said… I couldn’t grow and so a dream of being one of those “well known” youtubers was crushed and now all that’s left is a hobby I don’t have time for and a waning interest in doing. There’s no reason to prioritize it and therefore no need to have the pretense of continuing it with the vague implication that I’ll be back in 3 months with 2 new videos and then nothing again for an unspecific amount of time only for a few new videos, etc, etc. I don’t want to be one of those channels you can tell are no longer really into it and are just randomly uploading out of obligation to their audiences. There will be no apologies for absences only to go on another one two months later. Better to announce it then to unofficially fade into the background.

So I’m quitting. Indefinitely. Will I come back? you ask. Possibly. Not for a long time. We’ll see how I feel. But right now I feel free. Like an unspoken obligation is no longer there. I can pursue other creative endeavours without feeling like I’m neglecting something. I can go forth and make something new for a change. I will always be telling stories to whoever will listen and I will always cherish those who do.

Thank you for the past 5 years. It has been a lot of fun and I’ve made a lot of great content. I hope you have enjoyed the journey, however brief you have been on it with me, and I look forward to one day sharing with you a different kind of story.

She is my Lady/Oswald Cobblepot

Name: She is my Lady.

Author: Aya-Fay

Fandom: Gotham

Pairing: Oswald Cobblepot x Reader

Theme: Smut and everything that goes with it.

Requested by sweet Anonymous (oswald x reader where he’s always busy and kinda neglects the reader, and when she acts all moody, he understands what he’s been doing. at night, he makes it up to her by going down on her and then fluffy smut? love your writing xx)

Sorry it took so long <3


I also wanna thank my dearest @gotham-city-tales, without whose support i won’t be able to do it, @queencobblefreezestuff@myregardstothereader@jokesterwrites@under-oswalds-umbrella@minpov @luciebell-writes@just-a-little-crazy@rawrcoptergaming@taintedmarker@emberandshadow@cobblehearts@mistressofcobblepot@thequeenofgothamxo@elvirateaqueen13


Originally posted by crowned-in-october

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The Signs as The Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy Quotes
  • Aries: "If there's anything more important than my ego on this ship i want it caught and shot right away"
  • Taurus: "Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it"
  • Gemini: "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so"
  • Cancer: "A proper cup of tea would restore my humanity"
  • Leo: "I wonder if it will be friends with me?"
  • Virgo: "Don't Panic"
  • Libra: "The Answer to the Great Question... Of Life, the Universe and Everything... Is... Forty-two,' said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm"
  • Scorpio: "Life? Don't talk to me about life!"
  • Sagittarius: "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss"
  • Capricorn: "I've been talking to the main computer"
  • "And?"
  • "It hates me"
  • Aquarius: "Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mindbogglingly big it is."
  • Pisces: "So long and thanks for all the fish"
2

OMG YOU GUYS. I literally got home from holiday today to find a big box on our kitchen counter. The label says “pajamas ” and I’m sitting here thinking “what the hell, I didn’t order pj’s…” So I open it and INSIDE. OMG GUYS, HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTTS CAUSE INSIDE OF THE PACKAGE WAS THIS GODDAMN HAUNTER KIGURUMI (with Pokeball buttons!) , TWO POUR ME PATCHES AND THE MOST GORGEOUS LETTER I’VE EVER RECEIVED!! All ever so lovingly made by @rage-crafts !!
@askspades was of course in on this and had the biggest grin on his face as I opened the package but omg..

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Our amazing friends Sarah and Dave took time out of their days to not only take care of our small menagerie of animals (four cats, two dogs, three rats and a bunch of fish) after they’d finished a long day at work BUT ALSO SPENT HOURS ON THEIR DAY OFF MOWING OUR DISGUSTINGLY OVERGROWN LAWN (cause I’m a lazy shit who hadn’t mowed it for ages, to be honest…) and, AND!! Bought our animals some lovely foods (that they’re now addicted to and don’t wanna eat their boring old food any more, thank you very much :P) and our dogs some new toys!
 You guys all mean so damn much to me..(Even if my cats hate me for going away and have accepted Sarah as their new queen hurrr ) You’ve gone to so much trouble over the years to help me, pull me out of sticky situations and be a shoulder to cry on.
Sarah, you’re the best mum-friend anyone could ask for. Dave, you’re an absolute delight and a great friend and Pocket, you’re a wonderful, beautiful human being. I couldn’t ask for better friends.. I feel so loved right now.. I’m just…my favorite Pokemon and Decaf’s logo with an amazing letter, friends who are always there when I need them and my pets absolutely love (huge bonus) ..I just..I’m so happy right now ;w; I hope these words begin to show just how grateful I am

Originally posted by eviee97

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy sentence starters
  • 1. "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so."
  • 2. "This must be a Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."
  • 3. "Don't panic."
  • 4. "Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"
  • 5. "If there's anything more important than my ego around here, I want it caught and shot now."
  • 6. "We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"
  • 7. "The answer to the Great Question... of life, the universe and everything... is... is... 42."
  • 8. "So long, and thanks for all the fish."
  • 9. "Did I do anything wrong today, or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice?"
  • 10. "____! There's an infinite number of monkeys outside that want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out."
  • 11. "If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it?"
  • 12. "Ah. This is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of."
  • 13. "Life. Loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."
  • 14. "Is there any tea on this spaceship?"
  • 15. "I don't want to die now! I've still got a headache! I don't want to go to heaven with a headache, I'll be all cross and I won't enjoy it!"
  • 16. "It's part of the shape of the universe. All I have to do is talk to someone and they begin to hate me."
  • 17. “Very deep. You should send that in to the Reader's Digest. They've got a page for people like you.”
  • 18. "I know as much about myself as my mind can work out under its current conditions. And its current conditions are not good.”
  • 19. "You watch this door. It's about to open again. I can tell by the intolerable air of smugness it suddenly generates."
  • 20. “Do you find coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge?”
  • 21. "I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle."
  • 22. "Hey, this is terrific! Someone down there is trying to kill us!"
  • 23. “The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.”
  • 24. "It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level."
  • 25. "I could have more fun in cat litter."
  • 26. “If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you are in trouble, need a hand out of a tight corner, please, don't hesitate to get lost.”
  • 27. "I was created to fulfill a function and I failed in it. I negated my own existence."
  • 28. "You'll need to have this fish in your ear."
  • 29. "They've got about as much sex appeal as a road accident."
  • 30. "You're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
  • 31. “Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.”
  • 32. "Ow! My brains!"
  • 33. "If you just ignore me, I expect I shall probably go away."
  • 34. "It's partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure, but mostly I think it's the fame and the money....”
  • 35. "The old me knew. The old me cared. Fine, so far so good. Except that the old me cared so much that he actually got inside his own brain--my own brain--and locked off the bits that knew and cared, because if I knew and cared I wouldn't be able to do it."
  • 36. "If you’ve never been through a matter transference beam before you’ve probably lost some salt and protein."
  • 37. "Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."

anonymous asked:

5K anon: THE BIG RACE IS TOMORROW. THE BIG RACE IS TOMORROW. I'M GOING TO DO IT. AND SLEEP EARLY, AND EAT WELL AND RUN!!!!! My leg doesn't hurt anymore either unless i press directly on the spot, so I'm a-okay to run! This has been a really long and wild ride, but thank you. You really motivated me to keep hanging in there and it means a lot to me. My next message to you will be from the fishing line! Thank you Jyushi and Mun, I'm going to muscle muscle hustle hustle all the way home!! ♡

HUSTLE HUSTLE!! MUSCLE MUSCLE!! Congrats for having worked so hard all these months!! Make sure you have tons of fun and best of luck!! =D

WHAT DO I DO WITH MY LIFE NOW

Me for all time, me forever:

Spare YOI Episode 12 thoughts, because I’m home at my parents place for the holidays and away from my graphics machine and thus unable to pour all my extensively overflowing YOIness into fanart or comics @_@

  • I watched this twice, once during the simulcast and then again later in the day once I’d calmed down, and I liked it a lot better the second time. The first time I was upset because it felt like Victor’s sudden return to competitive skating felt really counter intuitive to his inner monologue in episode 10. I’m still kind of iffy on this “I’m your competitor! But I’m also your coach! ..and I’m also your fiance!” have your cake-ism and eat it too-ism, but on 2nd watch I’m more ok with it because while Yuri urging him in that direction starts out as his own insecurity, by the end of the episode, it seems more about Yuri’s desire in the very beginning to be able to stand on the same ice as Victor as his equal. There’s obviously a skewed power dynamic at play in being coach / pupil and with your life partner you should always be an equal to have a healthy relationship. 
  • The opening scene: Victor is upset because the closest he’s come to a love declaration is kissing Yuri’s hand and telling him his request to take care of him until he retires is like a marriage proposal THEN telling him he hopes he never retires, only to have Yuri tell him right before the last night of the Final, hey dude, Ima retire after tmw k, thx for everything. Which, if you think about it, is a pretty big slap in the face emotionally- Victor’s intent was obviously “I want to be with you forever” and Yuri, in behaving this way, seems to have taken it more as something about Victor’s belief in him as a skater or… something?! No wonder he burst into tears! Then Yuri reads this all rather densely as Victor being upset about coaching / studenting?!? Poor Victor!!!! Victor’s romantic feelings for Yuri are pretty obvious but Yuri, despite also being in love, is clearly inexperienced and doesn’t know what to do with / about his feelings, and Victor realizes that if he pushes, Yuri will probably run away. 
  • Look, I’ll be honest, like most of you I was raring for this season to end with a wedding (I was hoping for Yuri’s win, a wrap up to his and Victor’s love story, and for season 2 to focus on Yurio with Victuuri in the bg) but clearly Yuri is not there yet, and for now I’m ok with the slow burn continuing to burn into proper, life-time sustainable warmth, though I continue to feel bad for Victor, because in my head canon, the time he’s spent chasing Yuri since last year’s GPF banquet is probably the longest he’s ever gone without having sex, since he’s now dating / engaged to / SOMETHING with an emotionally immature but adorable virgin marshmallow. 
  • Stay by My side and Never Leave Me pair skate, they change leads, canon confirming seke pair / switching just like actual real-life gay couples, I’m crying tears of joy 
  • Phichit on Ice please make a 5 min long episodes series spinoff about this here I am again crying tears of joy 
  • Hey, so, they live together in St. Petersburg now right? Right. RIGHT. 

What a gift these 12 episodes were, I will never again experience anything like the joy of seeing episode 10 for the first time, being completely convinced I hallucinated it, and immediately watching it again just to confirm. I haven’t really watched much anime since leaving Japan 10 yrs ago, in recent years if you’d told me if I’d have an experience like this I would have laughed at you, BUT LOOK AT US NOW. 

Can’t wait to get back at the end of the year and draw a bunch of stupid things to tide myself over until Season 2. In the meantime, I did fever-write yet another one of those ubiquitous “Victor’s POV at last year’s GPF banquet” fics last night as I was jitterily trying to calm myself down enough to go to sleep, so if you’re into that kind of thing, you can check it out here, I apologize in advance for everything and nothing.

UNTIL NEXT TIME. 

❛ the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy ❜ sentence starters
  • ❛ All the dolphins have ever done is muck about in the water having a good time. ❜
  • ❛ Don’t panic. ❜
  • ❛ Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now? ❜
  • ❛ Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? ❜
  • ❛ Space is big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space. ❜
  • ❛ If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now. ❜
  • ❛ I’d far rather be happy than right any day. ❜
  • ❛ This must be a Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays. ❜
  • ❛ You’re turning into a penguin. Stop it. ❜
  • ❛ No, I was only fooling. We are going to die after all. ❜
  • ❛ So long, and thanks for all the fish. ❜
  • ❛ Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. ❜
  • ❛ If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it? ❜
  • ❛ Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn’t previously aware of. ❜
  • ❛ There’s an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they’ve worked out. ❜
  • ❛ I think you ought to know I’m feeling very depressed. ❜
  • ❛ All through my life I’ve had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was. ❜
  • ❛ Life. Loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it. ❜
  • ❛ Ow! My brains! ❜
  • ❛ Blood… blood… blood… blood… ❜
  • ❛ I don’t want to die now! I’ve still got a headache! I don’t want to go to heaven with a headache, I’d be all cross and wouldn’t enjoy it! ❜
  • ❛  My capacity for happiness you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first. ❜
  • ❛ Oh dear, you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well. Are you all right? ❜
  • Life! Don’t talk to me about life.
  • ❛ Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don’t know why I bother to say it, oh god I’m so depressed. ❜
  • ❛ The fully armed nuclear warheads are of course merely a courtesy detail. ❜
  • ❛ Call that job satisfaction? ’Cause I don’t. ❜
  • ❛ Very deep. You should send that in to the Reader’s Digest. They’ve got a page for people like you. ❜
  • ❛ Do you find coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge? ❜
  • ❛ Who is this God person anyway? ❜
  • ❛ Hey, this is terrific! Someone down there is trying to kill us! ❜
  • ❛  I’ll have you hung, drawn and quartered! And whipped! And boiled… until… until… until… until you’ve had enough. ❜
  • ❛ That is really amazing. That really is truly amazing. That is so amazingly amazing I think I’d like to steal it. ❜
  • ❛ I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my life-style. ❜
  • ❛ You’ve got as much sex appeal as a road accident. ❜
  • ❛ Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff. ❜
  • ❛ It’s partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure, but mostly I think it’s the fame and the money. ❜
  • ❛ It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level. ❜

Hey frens, just wanted to let you know that I may be taking a bit of a break from tumblr (at the very least my post volume will be going down). Life dictates that I need to get my shit together and as a result I’m gonna have less online time for now.

That being said, I’ll probably still check in once a day or so to check my messages and refill my queue a bit. If you need anything from me, or come across a post you want to show me, or you just wanna chat, anything, just message me!

Take care, everyone! ^_^

Don't ask, don't get!

Today we went to the local fish and chip shop here in Cornwall, asked the guy can you use separate pans and oil to make the fish (to stop haram contamination).

He was so kind and generous and said ‘yeah it’s fine we can do that for you’ and I kept thanking him so he’s said 'it’s fine we’ve done it before’.

May Allah guide him, all the staff and all the people in Cornwall. People are so nice and kind here I could stay here for a long time.

Ps please visit Fraser’s fish and chips in Cornwall. Excellent food, huge portions and excellent service.

Happy Towel Day, fellow Hitchhiker’s Guide fans!

Sam Sweetmilk is, at its heart of gold, a love letter to H2G2. So here’s— 

The top 42 lines, in order of no-particular-order.

  • 1. There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
  • 2. Many were increasingly of the opinion that they’d all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.
  • 3. “My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre,” Ford muttered to himself, “and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.”
  • 4. The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.
  • 5. “You know,” said Arthur, “it’s at times like this, when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.”
    “Why, what did she tell you?”
    “I don’t know, I didn’t listen.”
  • 6. “Space,” it says, “is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space.”
  • 7. “Funny,” he intoned funereally, “how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does.”
  • 8. Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
  • 9. A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
  • 10. Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.
  • 11. The reason why it was published in the form of a micro sub meson electronic component is that if it were printed in normal book form, an interstellar hitchhiker would require several inconveniently large buildings to carry it around in.
  • 12. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons.
  • 13. The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the ‘Star Spangled Banner’, but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.
  • 14. The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied.
  • 15. “Listen, three eyes,” he said, “don’t you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.”
  • 16. “Forty-two,” said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.
  • 17. Not unnaturally, many elevators imbued with intelligence and precognition became terribly frustrated with the mindless business of going up and down, up and down, experimented briefly with the notion of going sideways, as a sort of existential protest, demanded participation in the decision-making process and finally took to squatting in basements sulking.
  • 18. The Total Perspective Vortex derives its picture of the whole Universe on the principle of extrapolated matter analyses.To explain — since every piece of matter in the Universe is in some way affected by every other piece of matter in the Universe, it is in theory possible to extrapolate the whole of creation — every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition and their economic and social history from, say, one small piece of fairy cake. The man who invented the Total Perspective Vortex did so basically in order to annoy his wife.
  • 19. “Shee, you guys are so unhip it’s a wonder your bums don’t fall off.”
  • 20. It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.
  • 21. The disadvantages involved in pulling lots of black sticky slime from out of the ground where it had been safely hidden out of harm’s way, turning it into tar to cover the land with, smoke to fill the air with and pouring the rest into the sea, all seemed to outweigh the advantages of being able to get more quickly from one place to another.
  • 22. Make it totally clear that this gun has a right end and a wrong end. Make it totally clear to anyone standing at the wrong end that things are going badly for them. If that means sticking all sort of spikes and prongs and blackened bits all over it then so be it. This is not a gun for hanging over the fireplace or sticking in the umbrella stand, it is a gun for going out and making people miserable with.
  • 23. It is a well known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
  • 24. “Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.”
  • 25. In the end, it was the Sunday afternoons he couldn’t cope with, and that terrible listlessness that starts to set in about 2:55, when you know you’ve taken all the baths that you can usefully take that day, that however hard you stare at any given paragraph in the newspaper you will never actually read it, or use the revolutionary new pruning technique it describes, and that as you stare at the clock the hands will move relentlessly on to four o’clock, and you will enter the long dark teatime of the soul.
  • 26. He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.
  • 27. “He was staring at the instruments with the air of one who is trying to convert Fahrenheit to centigrade in his head while his house is burning down.”
  • 28. There is a moment in every dawn when light floats, there is the possibility of magic. Creation holds its breath.
  • 29. “You may not instantly see why I bring the subject up, but that is because my mind works so phenomenally fast, and I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.”
    “Er, five,” said the mattress.
    “Wrong,” said Marvin. “You see?”
  • 30. There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
  • 31. It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
  • 32. He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife.
  • 33. Eskimos had over two hundred different words for snow, without which their conversation would probably have got very monotonous. So they would distinguish between thin snow and thick snow, light snow and heavy snow, sludgy snow, brittle snow, snow that came in flurries, snow that came in drifts, snow that came in on the bottom of your neighbor’s boots all over your nice clean igloo floor, the snows of winter, the snows of spring, the snows you remember from your childhood that were so much better than any of your modern snow, fine snow, feathery snow, hill snow, valley snow, snow that falls in the morning, snow that falls at night, snow that falls all of a sudden just when you were going out fishing, and snow that despite all your efforts to train them, the huskies have pissed on.
  • 34. The storm had now definitely abated, and what thunder there was now grumbled over more distant hills, like a man saying “And another thing…” twenty minutes after admitting he’s lost the argument.
  • 35. He was wrong to think he could now forget that the big, hard, oily, dirty, rainbow-hung Earth on which he lived was a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot lost in the unimaginable infinity of the Universe.
  • 36. “It seemed to me,” said Wonko the Sane, “that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a packet of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.”
  • 37. “Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.”
  • 38. The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.
  • 39. Protect me from knowing what I don’t need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don’t know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen.
  • 40. All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it’s pretty damn complicated in the first place.
  • 41. In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
  • 42. Don’t Panic.
Not One, But Two (Part I)

Summary: It all started from that night when you and Jay were both too drunk to remember anything. You resigned from your job and left Seoul with a secret. Now you’re back and ready to tell Jay about them, but doing so means sharing their lives and putting his career and love life on the line.

Originally posted by jaywalkerzz


Part I Part II 


Prologue

Three years ago.

“What’s this?” Jay asked.

“It’s my resignation letter. I’m leaving,” you replied, looking at the folded paper in Jay’s hands.

Wrinkles formed on Jay’s forehead as he looked at you. Since you entered his office, he noticed that you had been avoiding his eyes. Sighing, he placed the paper on his table and leaned on his chair, clasping his hands in front of him. “Is this about what happened two weeks ago?”

“No, of course not!”

Jay chuckled and you cringed inwardly. By way of your quick denial, and rather strong tone, one could easily infer that you were lying.

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