so little time to write

It’s all right now.

in other, more positive news - i wrote 6k words tonight on my novel and it’s uuuurggggh c o m i n g t o g e t h e r at last…. very slowly but it IS and i’m actually kind of proud of myself which! I haven’t felt in a long time

If Your Goal is Not Publication

Anonymous asked: “What is your thoughts about online writers and fan fiction writers, on tumbler and other sites? I don’t think I really want to publish my work, I have my job and life and a story has been on my mind so I decided to write a little when I find the time, if I finished it I would love to share it some how.”

If your goal is not publication, I think it’s perfectly fine to get it out there however you want to get it out there. 

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Concept: Mickey and Emil have been friends basically since they both began skating. They’re really close, and when I say close I mean HELLA. Sleepovers, friendship bracelet exchange when they were 12 (Emil still wears his outside of skating, and while Mickey will never admit it he still keeps his in his wallet of all places), the whole deal. Sara is also part of their friend group, but she’s definitely not as close to Emil as Mickey is.

And then puberty hits and Mickey suddenly becomes very aware of Emil and his closeness to Sara. In reality, nothing’s really changed, but he’s begun to get a weird tight feeling in his chest whenever he sees Emil smiling and laughing with Sara. He begins to be a lot more protective over Sara because that’s what it’s gotta be, right? Sara is getting prettier each year, and as her big brother he has a responsibility to keep men from taking advantage of her. Even if it’s Emil, who he’s known for years. Anyways, there’s nothing else this feeling can be, right? Right. Nothing more than protectiveness.

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Kenma recognizes him from the broad lines of his back and the strong muscles that cover his shoulders and biceps. He doesn’t move much but when he does, they ripple like water, flowing so smoothly it’s mesmerizing. Kenma can’t see much at all; there’s no moon out and the street lights are down, but he knows this body well enough.

Kenma opens the door softly and steps out. From the slightest stiffening of Iwaizumi’s shoulders, he knows the man is aware of his presence, which is impressive since he’s always been quiet in his movements. He walks forward and grabs onto the railing, the cold metal biting into his skin.

“Can’t sleep?”

It’s rare for Kenma to initiate a conversation. It isn’t lack of interest so much as it is the fact that he’s rarely comfortable enough to start talking to someone. But his curiosity is far too great when it comes to Iwaizumi. The man is different from the others in the band. He never asks Kenma questions, never tries to pry, and respects his personal space, though he does smile at him occasionally and he makes great coffee.

Iwaizumi doesn’t turn to look at him but he smiles a little, his dimple barely visible. “Yeah, it’s just one of those nights, you know?”

Kenma nods because he does in fact know. Leaning forward, he rests his chin on the metal and winces when the cold hits him harder than he expected, but it’s not a bad sensation. The wind feels nice, just this side of chilly, and the silence is welcome. They don’t live in a good neighborhood, and there’s always fighting and loud music and an absurd amount of yelling.

But on this night, at 2:47 in the morning, with the stars hiding behind the clouds and the moon nowhere in sight, Kenma has never liked this place better. Iwaizumi’s presence is strangely comforting, and the sound of his every inhale followed by a soft exhale makes Kenma unconsciously sync with him.

“Do you like it here so far?”

The tone of Iwaizumi’s voice makes it abundantly clear that Kenma is free to ignore the question if he wants to. He appreciates that, and decides to answer honestly.

“Haven’t really been here long enough to decide,” he says, eyes sliding shut, “but I think I’m going to stay just a little longer, if that’s alright with you.”

Iwaizumi huffs out a laugh, and it’s strangely endearing. “No problems here.” He brings the cigarette to his lips and takes a long drag, and Kenma watches as he blows out the smoke with a sigh, a white cloud forming into the silent darkness of the night. The metal of his tongue piercing shimmers when the headlights of a passing car shines on it, and Kenma’s breath hitches in his throat.

Iwaizumi offers him the cigarette without turning to look at him and Kenma accepts it gratefully. He takes a generous drag of his own and the feel of the smoke calms him with its familiarity. Blowing out the smoke with a lengthy exhale, he hands it back to Iwaizumi, and he feels a new bond form. It’s intimate in a way he’s never felt before, warm even when it’s cold, and he actually likes it. Might even get used to it.

He finally turns to face the man and takes in his profile, and it keeps surprising him, how handsome the raven-head really is. “Has Kuroo always been this insufferable?”

Iwaizumi’s eyes widen at the question before he starts laughing, loud and deep, and Kenma finds himself smiling along.

“You could say that, though Oikawa is right up there with him.” Iwaizumi winks, a playful smile dancing on his lips, “Don’t tell him I said that though.”

Kenma covers his mouth dramatically and Iwaizumi nods his approval. The two grin and face the street again.

The view isn’t terrible, if Kenma’s being honest. They aren’t high enough for him to feel anxious, but he can easily see the park a few metres away. A sigh of content escapes him and Iwaizumi mirrors it and they just stand there, shrouded by the comfortable silence between them that mingles with the silence of the night.

It’s nice, Kenma decides. It’s nice.

Hurricane AU

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Stupid

This was stupid

This whole thing, it was so stupid, and it made Annabeth feel stupid, and she wasn’t stupid, she was smart, gods damn it, so why couldn’t she do this? She should have been able to do this.

She only realised she was crying when a tear splashed on to the page of her textbook, blurring the black letters printed on the white page. That tear falling felt like conceding defeat, and soon enough she was crying in earnest, sobbing hard enough that the words became even less intelligible than they’d already been.

She put her head down on the book and let herself cry, feeling terribly stupid and sorry and frustrated. Her whole face felt hot, flushed with anger and annoyance - at this essay, at herself, at the fact that she was a daughter of the goddess of wisdom and she couldn’t seem to write a simple fucking essay.

When the door to her room opened she instinctively straightened, grabbing her dagger and spinning in her seat to face the intruder. When she saw who it was she immediately collapsed back onto the desk, face first, letting her dagger fall to the floor. 

She heard Percy shut the door behind himself. There were a few soft footsteps, and then a gentle hand on her shaking shoulder and a quiet question. “Annabeth, hey, what’s up?”

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Animal Experts

Here’s my fic for the Seasons @kagehinaficzine! I got to collaborate with @k-a-r-o-1221 – for the season of spring, we came up with a Wildlife Park AU ^^ 


It’s dark out when Kageyama’s alarm goes off, but he shoves his blankets off his legs and yawns, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. In an hour, he’s dressed and out his front door.

A little before seven on that mild April morning, he’s hustling into work. A few staff members raise a hand in greeting, though he doubts they remember his name. Most wouldn’t even notice the absence of one lowly grad intern. He probably could have gotten a little extra shut-eye, if he’d wanted to sleep in. But he’s got a job to do.

He opens the door to his first appointment of the morning and is immediately greeted by a blast of sound that practically blows his hair back, a loud trumpet call.

“Good morning,” he says, to the five hundred pound baby elephant, already waiting to start its day off on the right foot. Very literally—Kageyama lays out all his tools necessary for their daily foot care routine.

The job is as tough as the elephant’s leathery skin, but it’s just one small part of his work at the Wildlife Rehabilitation Park and Zoo. The acres of land owned by the park are home to dozens of species, all of them in need of a little more care than they’d otherwise get out in the wild. The baby elephant was abandoned by its mother at birth and would have died, but it was rescued by the park. In four months, it will be flown back to Africa, where a team will help facilitate its reintroduction into the herd. Kageyama will miss it, but the other animals will keep him very busy.

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SF!Paps x Reader Fluff

Raffle Winner One-shot
For @artsietango
SFW SF!Paps x Reader smooch/ confession


Papyrus came in every day, like clockwork, and ordered a shot of whiskey and a bottle of barbecue sauce.  

You’d been working at Muffet’s for several months now, and despite the fact that it was monster-run (and that the job had taken you a considerable amount of courage to accept with your arachnophobia), your presence as a human had helped draw a more diverse crowd.  Muffet mixed the drinks with a deft, practiced speed that only someone with three sets of arms could possess, while you carried a platter of drinks from table to table, and numerous little spiders took pastries and burgers to customers from a network of webs in the top of the tavern.  

And every day since you started, Papyrus would walk in and sit at the same seat in the same booth and order the same thing.  

You slide the barbecue sauce to him as you pass his table and wink.  Papyrus usually chuckles and calls you saucy, but this time, he doesn’t even acknowledge you.  He’s got his hood pulled up, and he’s looking down at the table, his usual laid-back grin pulled into a grim line.  The expression startles you enough that you falter in your steps and cause the tray to unbalance, a few drinks sliding along the edge of your platter.  Hurriedly, you correct yourself before they spill and keep going, but you’re distracted as you distribute your orders.

What was wrong with him?

By the time you make it back around to his table, he’s already got two empty shot glasses in front of him, and three spiders are bringing a third glass down the web.  "Hey, Rus.  You didn’t even say hi to me,“ you state lightly, trying to rib him into a response.

His phalanges close around the shot glass, and he shrugs lightly.  His posture’s slouched, with his elbows on the table.  "hey.  sorry,” he mutters, holding up the whiskey to stare unseeingly at it.  

“You’re really pounding them back,” you observe, trying to tread lightly.  Usually, your friend is full of jokes and flirtatious remarks.  You’ve never seen him in a mood this sullen.

He hums, though the sound is nearly lost in the music playing from the jukebox.  "jus’ needed somethin’ to whiskey me away for a bit,“ he murmurs, before taking the shot.  He chases it with a swig of barbecue sauce, straight from the bottle.  You’ve never understood the appeal, and it doesn’t seem to be a monster thing.  But it’s definitely a Rus thing.

“Wanna talk about it?”

He finally turns his head to look at you, his orange eyelights shifting along your body, up to your face.  When his gaze locks with yours, you see resignation flash through his expression, before it hardens.  "actually, yeah, i–“

"Hey!  You!  Can I get my drinks here or what?”

You turn to face a group of humans sitting at the booth across from Papyrus’s.  They look like a rowdy crew to you, but you know you have to keep your smile on your face when you address them if you want to keep them placated.  "I’ll be with you in just a moment,“ you insist in your Professional Voice, which only makes another one of the men sigh.

"We’ve been waiting forever, but those creepy spiders aren’t coming!”

Ugh.  You turn toward Papyrus, but he’s already shaking his head and taking another gulp of his barbecue sauce.  "work’s callin’ you,“ he states the obvious.

He’s right.  If it wasn’t a Friday night, you’d have a better chance of being able to sit and talk to him.  "I’ll be right back,” you promise with a sigh, before turning and going to collect the human group’s order from the bar.  

When you reach the humans, you place your platter on the edge of their table to balance it.  "Okay, so who ordered what?“

One of the men grins.  "Why don'tcha guess?”

You really don’t have time for this.  "I really don’t know.  Did you have the bourbon and coke?“

The group laughs; apparently, you got it wrong.  

One of the man’s buddies leans in.  "What kind of drink do you like, babe?”  His eyes flick up and down your body.  "Sex on the beach?“

Ugh.  Keep your smile on your face; you’re representing the entire establishment when you serve someone.  Muffet taught you that–and if the customers decided to leave, your pay would end up docked.  The spider monster happened to be fiercely competitive, likely because of the bakery that had opened up across the street.  Apparently, Muffet and Grillby had some sort of bad history Underground. 

You laugh without any feeling behind it and shake your head.  "So you must be the one that ordered the Screwdriver,” you state tightly, moving the drink in front of him.  The others laugh, and you take a moment to cut your gaze toward Papyrus’s booth.  He’s staring at you directly, another empty shot glass in front of him, his expression blank and unreadable.  It’s difficult to even see his eyelights within his sockets at this point.  

This is taking too long.

“And you must have the Magic Night,” you guess randomly, sliding one of the cocktails with magic liquor in front of another human.  It crackles and fizzles, swirling with purples and reds.  

“So what’re you doing after work?  I can show you a real magic night,” the human states with a smirk and a brow wag, while his buddies laugh and shout exaggerated ’Oooohhh!’s

Your smile tightens.  "I doubt that,“ you shoot back before you can stop yourself, which wipes the smirk right off his face and causes the others to shove him with more exaggerated shouts.  They’re obviously already drunk.  

"Ouch.  Well, I could at least buy you one,” the man offers, holding up his magic cocktail for emphasis.  

“I’m sorry, but I–”  you glance back toward Papyrus… only to spot him walking out of the bar.  Your heart sinks, and you start unloading the rest of the drinks randomly onto the table.  "I have to go.“

You rush toward the front doors, calling out to the bouncer (a hamster monster in a leather, studded jacket), "I’m taking my break!”

You burst through the doors and spot Papyrus leaning against the building, a lit dog treat between his teeth.  Purple smoke curls around his face, and your steps begin to slow as you approach.  "Rus, I thought you wanted to talk.“  Your voice is slightly shaky.

"ya seemed busy tonight,” he replies with a shrug, holding the dog treat between his index and middle phalanges.  “’sides, it’s nothin’ really.”

Your chest clenches; you hate seeing him like this, so unlike the grinning pun-master you’ve come to befriend… and have a huge crush on.  Tentatively, you reach out and place your hand on his arm, gripping the thick fabric of his jacket.  His eyelights shift down to your fingers, staring at them, and you begin to feel self-conscious.  Usually, he’s all about physical contact and casual touches.  

“It doesn’t look like nothing to me, Rus.”

He flicks ashes on the sidewalk.  Standing outside, this close, you could smell just how heavily the alcohol is clinging to him.  It’s obvious now that he had been drinking before he even came to Muffet’s.  “jus’ somethin’ m’lord said to me today that’s been on my mind.”

You relax slightly.  You’re getting somewhere now.  “What did Sans say?”

Papyrus shrugs the opposite shoulder.  “it’s busy in there.  you should be gettin’ back.”

“No,” you blurt, hard enough that his gaze immediately flies to your face.  You know that your expression has hardened, your grip on his jacket tightening with your resolve.  “They can wait.  I don’t care.”

There’s an instant where his gaze searches yours for something, but you’re not sure what he’s hoping to find.  Then, he rather abruptly snags your waist with his arm and twists around the corner of the building, reversing your positions so that your back’s against the brick and he’s got one arm above your head, supporting his weight as he looms over you.  The alley is dark enough that you can see his orange eyelights clearly glowing in their dark sockets, and you can smell a mixture of alcohol and smoky barbecue permeating from his breath.  

Instantly, your breath catches in your throat.  His arm is still around your waist, trapped between your back and the wall, and now both of your hands are fisted in the front of his jacket.  

“but you care about me?”  

The query catches you by surprise enough that you forgot the last sentence that you had said, instead wondering if he’d somehow picked up on your crush.  Your face flushes hot, but you hold his gaze, taking in the sight of his sardonic smirk.  It wasn’t his usual flirtatious one–no, this one looked off, almost cruel.  Was he mocking your feelings?

Or mocking the possibility?

“Of course I do, Rus,” you evenly reply, lifting your chin ever-so-slightly.  A challenge.  “If something’s bothering you, then it’s bothering me, too.”

That seems to catch him off-guard; the smirk fades around the edges, the sides of his teeth twitching.  “heh, you sure ya wanna know?”

“Papyrus.”  Your hand moves up to cup his cheekbone as you say his full name, and his eyelights seem to glow even brighter.  His face tilts into your palm.  “Just talk to me.  Please.”

“ok.”  He sucks in a breath.  His fingers have wiggled beneath the hem of your shirt to trace idle patterns across your skin.  It’s not the first time he’s done this during your flirtatious moments, but it feels so much more intimate in this moment.  “humans and monsters really don’t mix in the long run, ya’know?”  You blink, sucking in a breath to refute him, but Papyrus shakes your hand off his cheek and continues.  “’specially skeleton monsters.  we’re a buncha bones, like a zombie or some kinda halloween decoration.  so why would a human want to be with a spooky skeleton when they could have their pick of any normal human out there?”  He shrugs, his fingers pressing into your skin, feeling the spinous processes of your spine.  “it jus’ sucks.”

His gaze focuses on yours, and he leans in closer, his face only a few inches from yours.  

“‘specially since there’s a human i’m really attached to.  i could probably get ‘em to jump my bones if i tried hard enough, sure, but… they’re not that kinda person.  they deserve better than that.”

His smirk has completely faded, and you feel your heart bottom-out into your stomach.  You’re looking at him with wide eyes, slowly processing the implications.  Your hand’s even still hovering near his face.  He starts to shake his head slightly and pull back, but you grip onto the front of his jacket again and stop him from moving away.  

“Wait.”

He freezes, his hand at your back stilling.  You’ve never been the one to make the first move, but dammit, you can’t let this opportunity go to waste.  You tug sharply on the front of his jacket and lean away from the wall at the same time, pressing your lips to his teeth.  He’s completely caught off-guard and stumbles back a step (okay, maybe you put a little too much momentum into the kiss when you pushed away from the wall–whoops), but his arm immediately tightens around your waist, pulling you close against his chest.  You try to put all of your reassurances, all of your feelings for him, into that kiss.  

And then you pull away, your face burning and your lips numb from the tingle of his teeth.  He smirks suddenly, and it’s finally a smirk you recognize on his features–teasing and confident.  “hey, ya’know what they say ‘bout assumin’, dont’cha?”

Oh shit.

Your heart drops.  You begin to backpedal.  “Shit, shit, sorry, I–”

Papyrus starts to chuckle, backing you against the wall again.  His forehead touches yours.  “darlin’, you’re adorable when you’re flustered, ya know that?  ‘course i was talkin’ about you.”

You groan.  Your heart’s hammering in your chest.  “Ha, ha.  Why don’t you stop talking and put your money where your mouth is.”

“ah, so you’re jus’ tryin’ to get tips from your best customer.  i see what that kiss was about now.”

Your arm winds around his neck, and you kiss him straight on the smirk.  He holds onto you tighter, forcing your back to arch away from the wall, pulling your body flush with his.  The sweater he always wears is too thick for you to feel his bones, but your fingers play with the ridges of his neck, and you feel his teeth part your lips.  Something slips into your mouth, warm and crackling with electric magic, and you realize it’s his tongue.  It’s not the first time you’ve seen it, but you never knew it would feel that amazing.  Your body feels hot and tingly, and your heart is pounding so forcefully against your sternum that you’re certain he can feel it, too.  

You’re drunk off his kiss–or maybe just the lingering taste of whiskey in his mouth.  You suddenly remember just how drunk he is and pull back.  His mouth immediately moves to your neck, his orange tongue sliding down your skin, sending delightful tingles straight to your chest.  Your fingernails involuntarily scrape his vertebrae, and he groans.  

“Rus.  Rus, wait.  Were you drinking because Sans said something about me not wanting a monster?”

He pauses, his tongue receding so that only his teeth rested against the juncture of your shoulder and neck.  “eh–somethin’ like that.”  He shrugged, but didn’t move away from you.  “not like it isn’t the truth, i jus’…”  He trails off, obviously trying to censor himself despite his filter being partially down from the booze.  

“It’s not true.  What, you think I just want a quickie in the alley?”

“heh, ya mean this isn’t you just throwin’ me a bone?”  He lifts his head enough to smirk again.  

“Nope.  I like you, Rus.  I’d like to give the whole dating thing a try, if that’s something you’d want.”  

Good lord, you’ve never been this direct before–but after his admissions, you feel like it’s necessary to spell it out.  

“ok.  i’ll be your bonefriend,” he agrees, his smirk turning shit-eating.  You shake your head, laughing.  It always comes so easy when you’re around him.  

“Great.  Now that this is settled, wanna come back inside?  My break’s been over for a while now.”

“sure, i could go for another drink or two.”  He finally steps away, letting you step out of the alley on wobbly legs.  Just like that, everything between you both had changed.  It felt different, putting a label on the mutual feelings you shared, as if everyone could see the charge between both of you now.  

Your face is still blood-red when you re-enter Muffet’s, and you feel the eyes of the booth-ful of humans land on you again.  Papyrus instantly slips his arm around your shoulders, narrowing his gaze on them.  You remember the way he had looked through you while they flirted with you, the way he had obviously been thinking about what his brother said earlier, that you would end up with another human.  

And you turn and rock up on the balls of your feet to press a kiss to his cheekbone.  It actually lights up a soft orange, his eyesockets widening at the brazen display of affection.  

“I’m all yours,” you reassure him, before you step out of his possessive hold so that you can continue your shift.  

He chuckles, his usual lazy smirk more tender than usual.  

“darlin’, that’s my line.” 

(* Mobile Imagine Masterlist  )

Because Adam Parrish’s bisexuality is very important to me and I felt the need to write down the Feelings I was having. This has no plot, just so you know.        

AO3


It’s really you on my mind

He’s fifteen years old and tired. Sitting in front of the trailer he calls home, he lets himself feel it for just a second. Allows himself to acknowledge the heaviness pulling at his limbs, his drooping eyelids getting pulled down by some invisible power; allows himself a moment of anger and exhaustion. Feeling sorry for himself and letting his misery take over his senses isn’t something he necessarily likes to do. He knows his life sucks, there’s no use dwelling on that. He also knows there are people who have it worse and that he will get out of here. One day one day one day. It’s a song that replays itself inside his head when things get rough, when he feels alone and his father tells him he’s worthless, with his fists and words alike, when his mom looks at it all with pursed lips or ignores it altogether. When the trailer park is suffocating and the dust invades his lungs, makes it hard to breathe. Sometimes doubt creeps in and then it’s almost impossible for him to believe it will ever happen; he’ll be stuck here for the rest of his days, become a copy of Robert Parrish because it’s his fate, it’s in his blood and he’ll have a son sitting in the exact same position, singing to himself one day one day one day.

Snapping out of that depressing train of thought, he suddenly remembers the free magazine he picked up at the grocery store earlier. From the rack next to the entry, filled with daily news and picked up by the busy fingers of housewives and old people taking their weekly stroll. He’s passed it numerous times and never felt the need to take one with him, until today. He doesn’t know what came over him, just that he desperately wanted to pretend to do something normal. And why not?

He takes it out now, from under his thin jacket, unfolds it and looks at the picture of some actress he vaguely recognizes posing on the front.

It’s been so long since he read something just for him. He used to go the library when he was younger, used to spend full days there, befriending the old, sweet lady behind the desk, reading everything he could get his hands on. But when he realized there’s a way to escape this, that the world is so much wider than the name double-wide suggest, that maybe there’s a way for him to not only read about magical places and people going on adventures, but actually live those things and see them for himself, the library turned into the last item on his list of things to do. He picked up several jobs and poured all his remaining time and energy into studying and getting A’s; the library was forgotten. At times, when the night is too heavy to sleep and the walls are too thin to not hear what’s playing in the bedroom next to his, he thinks of the old lady with her white hair that gave him pieces of her chocolate sometimes and wonders what happened to her. If she still works there, if maybe at times she wonders about him too after he abruptly stopped coming, if she’s even still alive.

Now he opens his magazine and pictures the one his father reads and notices the stark difference between the two. He rifles through it, not particularly caring about the content or finding it exceptionally captivating, but enjoying himself nonetheless. Skimming through it, he abruptly lets it fall open on some ad, perfume he thinks, featuring a man, a car and the gray sky above. The man is leaning against his expensive, fast car, wearing expensive designer clothes. Adam’s enthralled by how casually powerful the man looks and by the quiet authority he radiates. Like nothing can hurt him, like he’s above pain. At first, it’s just the power that evokes Adam’s wonder, then he pays closer attention to the guy’s face; zooms in on his high cheekbones, the strand of dark hair falling on his forehead, his pronounced jawline. The way his clothes fit him just right, accentuating the right things, the right way and Adam is in awe.

There’s a mixture of several things going through Adam’s head, the most prominent being want. Which he shuts down immediately without realizing why and replaces with one day one day one day. He looks at the car again. Without giving it second thought, he rips the picture from the magazine and folds it carefully, stuffs it into his pocket.

The picture is burned in his memory now and he thinks he’ll use it as motivation, to try to become that person one day. Because that’s what he wants. That’s the want overpowering his thoughts. Being that man, radiating the same power, being able to dress like that, owning a car like that and doing it all as effortlessly as if he’d been born into it.

He takes it out sometimes, from under his mattress. He’s not sure why he feels the need to hide it like that, it’s not like there’s something bad on there. He just doesn’t want his dad to find it and realize that Adam wants to be that man, he tells himself. He doesn’t want his parents to know that that is his goal in life, he tells himself. And he tries not to think of the why’s to much. Why he decided on that picture, why he hides it, why it makes him want.

Years later he’ll realize that maybe it wasn’t just the power the man radiated and the effortless way he looked like money and success and was everything Adam wanted to be but wasn’t. He’ll think that maybe it was a mixture of those things, combined with the fact that he was extremely attracted to the guy, but just didn’t realize it. That the want to be him, could’ve easily also been the want to be with him among other things. He’ll think that there have been so many more instances in his life where he interpreted his own feelings wrong, or simply repressed them and twisted them so that he didn’t have to face the real thing. Subconsciously of course, until Ronan started looking at him and the pieces all fell in their place and he realized something about himself that had been there for a long time, but was never allowed out.

When he gets together with Ronan, he analyzes the feelings he had for Blue and he realizes they were just as real as the one he has for Ronan. Maybe they weren’t as strong, but they were there. And something clicks inside him, because he knows now that Ronan wasn’t the first boy he was ever attracted to, which is what he thought in the beginning, and he knows that he’s still very much into girls too, but that it’s all fine. He’s got time to find himself and figure out what that means for him. Which he does in great detail. Adam Parrish, a man of science, likes to understand things, approaches this objectively, eyes on his goal.

He doesn’t doubt his attraction or love for Ronan because he is absolutely sure that those things are there. He does not doubt his feelings for Ronan once. He just wonders whether he’s the only boy he’s ever liked or if there were others.

When he was younger, he didn’t give his sexuality much thought. He always thought he was straight so there was no real reason to think about it and anyway, living under his parents’ roof, the possibility of being something else than straight, stepping out of line of what his dad thought was right, wasn’t much of an option. He liked Blue, he had a girlfriend before that, when he was fourteen. She gave him his first kiss, but other than that it wasn’t anything exceptional. She was a girl from his school he had to work with one day. She was pretty and she smelled nice. She had a gap between her teeth and he remembers finding that charming. They worked on the chemistry project in the library, she kissed him one day, he liked it, she asked him to be her girlfriend and eventually she broke it off, no doubt expecting dates and time spent together, but Adam simply did not have the money or time to spare. He didn’t like her that much that it really hurt or anything, but it stung a little. Knowing dating just wasn’t for him, yet another thing on his seemingly endless list of one day, something he’d do when he got out of here.

If he was being honest with himself, he was a little disappointed. It’s not like he expected butterflies to fly around and the sun to start shining just for them, but the couple kisses they shared didn’t really do anything to him. That didn’t stop him from wanting more of them, though. Her lips were soft and brought him affection he had missed his whole life. The feeling of her hands on his hips warmed his skin in a way he was not familiar with, so even if real feelings were missing, he also definitely didn’t want her to break up with him .

He figured it was better anyway. He put her out of his head and forget about her quickly enough, only sometimes allowing her to open the doors in his mind and wondering that if he could’ve been able to show her a little more attention, she’d have stayed longer.

Then he met Blue and he really liked her too. Her originality and fire drew him in and did things to his head. It was easier with her somehow because he saw her in the company of Gansey, because she was pretty affectionate herself and wasn’t afraid to say what she thought or let him know what she wanted or didn’t want. She took his hand and it was easy to lay his head in her lap. It was nice and he knew that if he were to kiss her, it’d be different than the kisses he shared with his former girlfriend. He thought maybe he’d feel something else than simply that’s nice.

It was good. While it lasted.

Because of course it didn’t last. He was Adam Parrish, why would he be able to love someone the right way? Maybe love was a big word, but why would he be able to – to be enough? Because that was exactly what it was. He was not enough.

The words it’s not going to be you echoed through his mind for days on end and the fear that he would end up exactly like his father encased him, held him captive. When those words came out of her mouth, he knew. He just knew that if it wasn’t him, it’d be Gansey. Because of course. Of fucking course.

When he gets together with Ronan, everything is great and his anger doesn’t matter because Ronan has his own anger inside to match Adam’s. They get together and every touch, every word shared between them leaves a trace in his skin, strikes a match until his insides are burning with want and need and love. Finally he can feed his hunger. Ronan doesn’t mind if Adam kisses him fiercely, barely giving him space to breathe, all but attacks his mouth with his own. He doesn’t mind Adam taking of his shirt and tracing the warm skin, following the trail of his tattoo with his mouth. Doesn’t mind the hickies on his neck, the scratches on his back.

The physical aspects of the relationship is explosive and wonderful. But that’s not all. Ronan is the first person to ever be truly gentle with him, the first person that looks at him as if he deserves everything.

He makes Adam laugh harder than anything ever has, sometimes so much he literally cannot breathe, until he has tears in his eyes. Ronan knows when to crack a joke, make fun of Gansey, draw out a grin with force if he has to after a shitty day at work. But also knows when to leave it alone and simply let Adam lay his head on his lap on the couch and gently run his fingers through his hair when he’s feeling down. Because the truth is, while Adam Parrish has always thought of himself as unknowable, somehow Ronan Lynch has managed to know him.

He knows him. He understands him. Like no one ever has. And Adam realizes that, even if he didn’t notice before, he had always understood Ronan the same way. Back when he couldn’t stand being in the same room with him for more than five minutes before one of them made a biting remark. Even then, they’d understood each other on some level.

So, no. If there is one thing in the world he is absolutely sure of, it’s his love for Ronan. While figuring out his sexuality is definitely confusing, that is not. It’s the surest and realist thing in his life at the moment.

Once, when Adam was about ten, he had a friend. Called Jason. The boy had curly black hair, dark skin and piercing brown eyes that glittered in the sun and made Adam feel warm and fuzzy inside. It was the first real friend he’d ever had, or as real as fleeting friendship at that age can be anyway and Adam cared for him deeply. When Jason smiled, he had a dimple and for some reason having it directed at him, filled Adam with an indescribable pride. There was something about him that made Adam want to be around him as much as possible and never let go. Seen as Jason was his first friend, he didn’t think much of it and figured that’s just what friendship was.

The whole thing was over pretty quickly, Jason moved away. Adam is pretty sure he never even knew his last name.

When he thinks back to that now, he wonders if it wasn’t something other than just friendship. And then he thinks back to the first time Gansey had laid his charming eyes on him and shown Adam his electric smile and the feeling that had evoked inside him and wow. That’s a whole other realization.

Now lying on his small mattress above the church that’s his home, next to the boy he thinks of when he thinks of home, he wonders how he never noticed what really, was there all along. He thinks it’s probably a mixture of wanting to survive and homophobic bullshit shoved in his head by the people that raised him.

Now, lying on his small mattress above the church that’s his home, next to the boy he thinks of when he thinks of home, he lets himself feel and think and understand something about himself.

‘Why the fuck are you thinking this hard? It’s two in the morning’, Ronan mumbles into the crook of his shoulder, sleep already pulling at his senses, one hand wrapped around Adam’s waist.

‘I’m not.’ It’s a lie, automatically leaving his mouth. Adam spends his life thinking too hard, over analyzing every little thing. He’s never had to share the inner workings of his mind with anyone.

‘Yes, you are. You’ve got that little crunch between your eyebrows. That means you’re thinking too hard.’ But this is Ronan and, again, Adam is taken aback by how good Ronan knows him. The inner workings of his mind may be a mystery to most people, but Ronan has never been like most people.

He doesn’t say anything for a little while, lets the silence fill the room. Ronan kisses his shoulder and Adam can feel his eyelashes fluttering against his skin. Soft as a confession whispered in the dead of the night.

‘I’m bisexual’, he says then, finally, shattering the quiet.

And it’s out there. The nervous flutter in his stomach has nothing to do with fear or dread. He feels most comfortable around Ronan and this is nothing new really. It’s just that it’s the first time he’s ever said those words aloud, the first time he knows with a certainty they’re real. And that sensation is new to him, it flutters in his stomach, but a good kind of fluttering. One that’s as pleasant as the spring sun warming his skin after winter has gone to sleep.

Ronan makes a noise that could be interpreted in many different ways, but the way he pulls Adam closer to him and nuzzles his nose to his temple and drops a kiss on his ear, indicates it’s most likely one of encouragement and support. The gesture fills Adam’s body with warmth and his heart beats with the incredible love he has for this boy.

‘What brought this on?’

‘I don’t know. Just thinking back on my life. I have this ad in my car, for perfume or something. And I always convinced myself I kept it because one day I wanted to be the guy. But now I think I kept it because I was ridiculously attracted to him even though I didn’t realize it.’

Ronan lets out a small laugh. ‘Well, I’m fucking gay. I think I always sort of knew though.’

Adam wonders if Ronan has ever admitted to that before and he’s pretty sure he never has. He simply got together with Adam and that was enough for them. But here, in the safety and comfort of this room and each other, it’s okay.

He thinks of how Ronan used to hate himself so much and that, some of it at least, was tied to his sexuality. How he used to be so angry and scared and hidden from everyone. How self acceptance was a long and painful process for him. He thinks of how proud he is of Ronan, of how strong he is and of how far he’s come. To say those words without shame above the church he visits every Sunday. The church where he belongs but for a long time felt like an intruder, like he was wrong.

Ronan shouldn’t have to give up parts of himself because others won’t accept him. He shouldn’t have to hide. He’s gay, but he also believe in god with an intensity that Adam saw reflected in his eyes the few times he has accompanied him to church.

Adam himself is not religious, but he respects it and can see the beauty of it in certain things. But more importantly, he’s aware of how deeply rooted it is in Ronan’s life and how it’s a part of him. Adam loves all parts of Ronan, wants him to be able to love all parts of himself too. He’s glad Ronan feels comfortable enough saying those words above his church.

‘I’m glad you finally figured it out. ‘M proud of you,’ Ronan mumbles then, almost asleep, saying things he maybe wouldn’t have said wide awake, but that Adam would’ve gotten anyway.

Adam plants a kiss on the top of his head and closes his head. ‘I’m proud of you too.’

And that’s how they fall asleep, entwined like vines and trusting someone, finally, to accept them for who they are.

They’re growing still. And discovering themselves, but now that they’re safe and relatively happy, most of the time, it’s a process Adam actually is kind of looking forward to. Maybe he doesn’t have to be unknowable. Maybe he can just be Adam Parrish, loved by his friends and boyfriend, safe, attending Harvard in the fall, bisexual, in love and proud. Of who he is.

Proud of being Adam Parrish. He decides he rather likes that thought.


Thanks for reading! Title from Chanel by Frank Ocean, because that song is almost as Bi™ as Adam Parrish is 

“May I?” Lady Lunafreya asked. She held out her hand.

“Are you… offering to heal me?” Prompto asked, hesitant. Everyone was watching him. He shifted nervously and brushed a lock of hair out of his face. “I’m really grateful but, uh. No thanks? I’m not hurt. But—but I appreciate the offer!” The last thing he wanted was for the Oracle—for Noctis’ friend, the person who had pushed him to meet Noct in the first place—to think him ungrateful.

But Lunafreya didn’t seem to hear. Her arm didn’t waver. “Please.”

Everyone was still watching. Noctis, with his head cocked to the side. Ignis, quietly observing. Gladio, arms crossed, making sure nobody got too close to the Oracle or the King. Prompto didn’t want to be the odd one out.

Lunafreya’s hand looked warm and inviting. So he took it.

Within seconds, Prompto was doubled over, something acidic and awful falling from his lips.

The sensation of throwing up had always been unpleasant.

This was awful.

Despite all that, Lunafreya clutched his hand. Her grip was surprisingly tight, even as Prompto bent over, his free hand on his knee in a last ditch effort to stay upright.

He heaved and heaved and heaved. All he saw was black.

And through it all, Lunafreya held on.

Keep reading

The Bachelor AU but instead of the girls falling in love with the guy or vice versa, both girls fall in love with each other and The Bachelor elopes with the cute camera boy he’s been not so inconspicuously flirting with the entire time.

10

Pairs and characters that almost made it in my big cartoon crossover but that, for a reason or another, I had to leave out xP

Originally I wanted to have Louise (Bob’s Burger) and Mabel (Gravity falls) talk cause they are dubbed by the same voice actress, same goes for Candy (Greavity Falls) and BMO (Adventure Time), 

Mabel would have been good with Star (Star VS the forces of evil) too cause, come on… they would love each other! 
Star would have been great with Pinkie Pie (My Little Pony Friendship is magic) too, after all her bestie is a pony… sort of xD
Instead Star ended up dancing with ice King (Adventure Time), which I still think was perfect xP Come on, let the poor Simon enjoy a dance with a princess 8′D
And Mabel ended up with Steven… and at first I wanted to have them fuse, modifying Stevonnie, but… oh well xP 

Steven (Steven Universe) and Lumpy Space Princess (Adventure time) would have been awesome too cause there litterally is a scene in Adventure Time where LSP yells ‘get your hands off me, Steven!’ XD

Diane (BoJack Horseman) meeting Daria (Daria) would have been perfect cause.. I can’t be the only one seeing a similarity XD

I didn’t think to add Butters before cause… well, when I started the video I hadn’t watched South Park yet, my two best friend introduced me to this show just a few months ago, when the video was basically already over xP

Also I desperately wanted to add Appa but… he was too bit and basically didn’t fit in the dance scene v.v

Well, if you wanna check out the original video with the pairs and characters that made it in the end… here’s the link!

What do you think? Are the scrapped parings better then the ones that made it? :P
Or would have you preferred some different character/pair? :)

al would never talk to ed that way

there’s this trend in fma fic, and it drives me up the wall, and it’s in lots and lots of otherwise really good fic.

and it’s where al … is kinda a dick to ed? like he talks down to ed and says these witty and sarcastic one liners while ed flails and acts like a dumb older brother while al is all wise and oh poor ed, so ruled by his emotions? and its always surrounded by ‘the brothers love and protect each other always!!!’ and yes true of course.

but. al would never do this? like it wouldnt be one sided? they’re brothers, they fight and argue of course, and snipe at each other. but edward carries both their guilt, would sacrifice anything and everything for al. also, edward is not an idiot? which is another separate issue i have with a lot of fma fanfic. like ed doesn’t always get along with people but he almost always understands them.

and i feel like this cool holier than thou alphonse that people write is like, fun and all. but it’s not accurate. al is a kid and ed is a kid and they love each other more than anything. and when alphonse belittles ed in fic and it’s treated like normal and okay and no big deal because ed’s not upset by it, and hey ed needs to hear it because he’s a dumb alchemy freak who only understands fighting and science, it makes me want to pull my hair out.

it was ed that figured out izumi’s instruction, ed that first knew roy wanted to be fuher, ed that connected with rose. he’s not an idiot. and if alphonse ever heard someone talking to his brother the way some people have him to talk to ed in fic he would beat them up.

alphonse loves and respects his brother more than anything in the world. and ye sure, he’ll absolutely call edward out when he’s being irrational and an idiot but that certainly isn’t nearly as often as people seemed to think.

tldr: al would never casually belittle ed in everyday conversation and it’s the most ooc trope in existence. al is just as devoted to ed as ed is to him and dont any of you forget it.

I commissioned @lauwurens to draw something cute with Eliza and young Philip and he delivered with Eliza teaching this adorable lil goofball how to dance and I love it so muchhhhh

*UPDATED 8/9/17* Masterlist

First masterlist, lit lit. I have a lot of ideas and I can’t wait to share them with all ya fellow hamilhoes. 

                                                  - A-a-ron D. (aka hamiltrashitty)

Characters

Poly! Hamilsquad x Reader

Little Ham Man *Alternate Ending + Continuation* (Poly!Hamilsquad x Reader)

Alexander Hamilton x Reader

Best of Wives and Best of Women

Thomas Jefferson x Reader

Strip Tease

Philip Hamilton X Reader

Stay Alive

John Laurens x Reader

Movie Premiere 

Cast

Lin

Feel Better (Coming Soon)

Anthony

I Hate That I Love You (Coming Soon)

Oak

Rainy Days 

Daveed

Yoga Boner

You were wrong | Sherlock x reader.

“I had a plan, you know? Get to Europe, make a european fall in love with me, get married, get a visa. Is that a bad plan?”

Sherlock rolled his eyes. Americans, he thought. 

You were laying on the flat’s floor, kind of drunk. Really drunk.

It had been a bad day, a bad week, a bad month. A bad everything.

You felt so lonely, but you’d never show that. Sherlock would only see how cheerful and gleeful you were. You knew he needed that in his life, even if he didn’t know it. But lately, you were the one that needed that. Of course, Sherlock didn’t notice, because he couldn’t read you and because he was, after all, Sherlock.

He was sitting in his chair with his eyes closed trying to get into his mind palace, but you were too distracting, all drunk and talking about your life. Normally, he would tell you to shut up. But not tonight, no. 

Tonight, he could see it in your eyes. You were going to start crying any minute.

You kept quiet for a second and the alcohol was working on making you fall sleep even when you were resisting it. Suddenly, you felt someone laid on the floor next to you. You opened your eyes to see Sherlock looking at the ceiling.

“So how is your plan going?” he asked. You looked at him confused. “Your plan on getting your visa” he reminded you.

“Oh, that” you whispered “I haven’t made any european fall in love with me yet”

You were so wrong in that. Sherlock thought and smiled at you.

Originally posted by detective-from-221b

Gif not mine.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

So it’s eastern week so I’ll have little time to write a little more. I havent been active lately, so sorry! Thank you for the support to my little stories.

Study Date - Stiles Stilinski

A/N: I’m back! School has been killing me, so I’m sorry for not posting anything lately but I have so many ideas and so little time to write. I’m still taking requests as well, so send them in! Hope ya’ll enjoy this. Love, J xx.

Prompt: Stiles asks you to come over to study and things get heated.

Word Count: 1,544

Warning: Smut, Smut, and more smut.

Keep reading

170914 Happy Birthday to you :)

This year is such a great year, I think both for me and also Jongsuk.

For me, I finally got a job! Haha. This gonna be a totally new chapter of my life, since the job I’ve got is nothing similar with what I was study

For Jongsuk, he has done a great movie ‘V.I.P’, a drama 'While You Were Sleeping’ which probably be a great one too, and also one of his dream to own a Cafe is come true! Congrats!

I have a chance to go to his FM, it’s my first time to attended his FM in Seoul. Even I can understand just some part, the FM still totally impress me.

I love how he try his best, get out of what he doesn’t familar with, singing an OST song just because he think that fans may like and want him to do (and you done a really great job!)

I love how he practices the move so hard, so he can dance by his best in front of fans

I love how he was so claim and enjoy MC-ing himself tell us his childhood story without any fear and panic, that also mean you’ve overcome how panic you have when you’re in front of many people~ see, another great thing that happened in this year :)

And today (14 Sept) Jongsuk has an Events at Lotte 잠실 but due to the time and location.. its too far for me who notice that at almost 3 pm.. so I went to his Cafe instead.. and you know what happened to me? I met LEE JONG SUK!

I arrived at the cafe around 15.40 there’s only 2 table of customer (totally 5 including me) I order the signature menu '89Latte’. Around 15.55 Jongsuk and his manager came in the cafe with the same outfit as the events, he ask us not to take a photo. His manager grab a box of shoes from the barista and then they left. After 5 minutes Jongsuk and his manager comeback with a new outfit, oversize white t-shirt, black trouser, and slipper. Jongsuk ask if any of us know Korean? He said the Cafe have to be close in 20 minutes and politely ask us to leave. After 20 minutes we’re about to leave, Jongsuk come out again so I gave him a birthday card, we also said 'happy birthday’ to him, he thanks us and give us a mini-heart. We still stay there in front of the door because it’s too hard to leave like that.. then Jongsuk said 가 (just go) with his mouth (without sound) and a hands things too in a joking way.. and then we left the cafe

It was such a great moments that I won’t forget! Being his fans for 5 years.. today is such a big day for me ㅠㅠ

Even now he’s not my one and only bias like before, but he'a always be my first priority, I still do a translating things for him because I really want other people to see how cute, how good, how hard work he does

I just want you to know that, whatever things happened to you, if you look back here, there’s always be me who’ll be your power and supporter~ so just do what you want to, we appreciate it all :)

With love
-ddochijs-

Model AU

For @silver-note
Sorry for being a little late. Life’s been so busy lately and I just got time to write these out for you. I really hope you like them! :3

-Shouto and Katsuki work as models. They’ve run into each other a few times throughout their careers, but haven’t thought much of it. Both are very popular and are asked to do a photo shoot together.

-Shouto has always found Katsuki to be beautiful, in a rough-edged, savage kind of way. His pictures are always showing more skin than necessary and those red eyes burn straight through you. He grins like a lion about to pounce.

-Shouto’s pictures, on the other hand, are elegant and graceful: suits and ties, casual wear, bathing suits, he can make anything look good. People are in awe over his eyes and hair and photographers make sure to bring it out in their work with him. Katsuki pretends not to give a shit when he meets him for their shoot together. But he can’t stop sneaking glances at Shouto’s gorgeous, mismatched eyes.

-Their photographer is a new kid: Izuku. He is the opposite of the practiced professionals who normally work with Katsuki and Shouto. He’d awkward, dorky, and trips over his own feet. He’s supposed to be taking photos of the two for a fashion magazine, but he couldn’t be less fashionable himself: wearing an old jacket that keeps falling off one shoulder, round, red-framed glasses, and sneakers.

-Katsuki wants to walk out right then. Shouto thinks the photographer is oddly adorable though, and convinces him not to storm off like an idiot.

-When they start, they immediately can tell that Izuku is different from the others in more ways than one. Instead of sticking with what works, he wants to change things.

-He encourages Katsuki to tone down the crooked smirks and savage charm. Instead, he asks him to not even smile, to just look into the camera like he’s trying to tell the reader, come here. And it works. Katsuki growls and grumbles the whole time, but his own pictures come out looking like he’s about to come off the page and pin the reader against the wall. He comments this aloud and Izuku blushes. “R—really? I guess that was sorta what I was going for… I wanted to focus on your eyes a lot…”

-For Shouto, he doesn’t take the clean, graceful route at all. He messes him up. He has Shouto lay on his back, arms sprawled about his head, and tip his chin up slightly. Then he actually sticks his fingers into Shouto’s hair and tousles it (shouto shivers the whole time, but tries not to show it) Then he tells him to smile like someone just made his day.

-“How do I do that?”
“Your hair is very pretty, Shouto.”
And Shouto smiles like a fool, and it comes out lopsided, with a hint of teeth biting his lower lip, and he looks damn good.

-At some point throughout the shoot, Shouto walks over to Katsuki and asks him if he’s ever had such good pictures taken of him before. Katsuki grudgingly admits that the “damn nerd” did a pretty good job. “Not to mention he’s fucking cute. And he made you look fucking edible.”

-They come to conclusion to ask their sweet little photographer out to dinner.

Wanting More

“That was amazing. I had a good time tonight. I’ll call you.” He tells you as he opens the door to let you out of his house. And that’s when you knew. That’s when you knew what he wanted from you was way different from what you wanted from him. He didn’t see you as girlfriend material, but just fuck friends. That’s what you too were. And no matter how many times you try and convince yourself that it isn’t that, the harder it will be.

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 This is my first time writing a little bit of smut so hopefully it’s not horrible lol. Tell me if you want a part two!! 

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Harry calls you multiple times a week. The words I need you or I want you always made you feel a fire inside your belly.

He called you, he wants to be with you, you think to yourself. But then there’s times when you second guess yourself. If he actually wanted to see you or just have his dick sucked off.

You knew deep down the real answer but you pushed that in the back of your mind as you walked towards his flat at 12:30pm. He called you when you were at home lying in bed watching friends. You were going to have a night in this Friday, but harry rang you when you were in the mist of a laughing attack after the scene that just played out on your tv.

Not looking at the caller ID you picked up your phone, “hello?”

“What are you doing right now?” Harry quickly said with no introduction.

“Hello to you too. I’m fine thanks for asking.” You say sarcastically as you stuff your face with popcorn.

“Can you come over?” He asks eagerly.

You roll your eyes to look at your clock beside your bed side table.

“Harry it’s 12am…”

“I know, I know. It’s just….” Harry stops, trails off, and sighs.

“I need you, I really fucking need you right now.” His voice becomes low and husky.

Your cheeks turn red at his statement, he’s said it so many times, but it still makes you blush. You try and cover your face only to realize no one was actually here.

There was a long silence before you said, “ I’ll be there in 15.” You start getting up to brush your teeth. You didn’t want Harry to taste kettle corn on your lips.

You can hear Harry sigh in relief. “Ok drive safe, love.”

“I will bye.” You hang up the phone and your superego mentally yells at you. You ignore it even though you know you shouldn’t.

You and Harry have been doing this for awhile now. You don’t even know what it’s called. I guess it’s friends with benefits but you hated that term. You guys were just casual friends. But you always felt as if there was something more…


You made it to Harry’s door, you rummage through your little bag to try and find the spare key harry gave to you, after this became a regular thing. But before you could get it you hear the door unlock, and harry grabs your wrists and brings you inside.

Before you had time to even greet him he had you pushed up against the door frame and connecting his lips to yours. You were shocked at first but quickly kissed him back. Harry’s hands were on your waists as he brought his lips down your neck leaving trails down your neck.

“Someone’s a bit eager?” You says in between breathes. Harry has already got you flustered, hot, and bothered and you just came in the door.

“What took you so long?” He’s now kissing your collar bone, as he places his hands up your hoodie. “You said 15 minutes, that was bloody 30 minutes.”

Your heart was racing. “ I’m sorry, you called me at a very inconvenient time. I was in my Pjs looking like a mess. I had to get cleaned up a bit.”

Harry shakes his head and you frowned. He makes his way up your neck to your ear and whispers. “You look good in anything, you know I don’t give a fuck.”

You smile into Harry’s kiss cause you knew that. Harry would always make an effort to tell you that you don’t need to dress up for things like this. But I guess you were compensating for wishing you could get all dressed up and go out to dinner with Harry or something like that.

You quickly threw that thought in the back of your head and locked it up, for now. You didn’t want to think about that right now.

Harry brought you up to his room, and lays you down. It was dark but the street lights seeping through his blinds was enough to get a good look at Harry. Everytime you saw him you couldn’t believe how beautiful he was. His green eyes scans over your body as you take your hoodie off and he smirks at his favorite bra that he likes on you. You come towards him and slowly kiss his neck as your hands slowly went to his waist band and you started touching his hard.

“Oh fuck Y/N” Harry groans. You push him on the bed and take his boxers off and he flung up. He watches you as you take it in your hand and lick the tip. Harry shutters.

“Tell me what you want Harry” you whisper as you rub his balls.

“I-I just su-ck me off. Please just-” before he could finish you took him in your mouth. You could feel the veins of his cocks rub against tongue and you pushed harder. Bobbing your head as you placed your hands on his thighs feeling them up and down.

Harry was trying to control himself he always does, but he can’t help taking your hair in between his fingers and pulling your head closer. But you loved it when he did that, you loved his dominant side.

“Oh my god. Y/N… babe yes yes.” Harry grunts as you can feel him quiever inside your mouth. “I’m so close, can I… in your..” you knew what he meant and you agreed like you always did. But he was always so sweet to ask first. And soon after I looked at him with his cock in my mouth, he came in your mouth and you swallowed it all.

Before you could even catch your breath Harry had you on the bed and pulling off your pants. “Now it’s my turn.” He tells you. He pulls down your panties and gently glides his fingers over your slit.

“Already so warm and wet for me.” He says while hovering over you and you couldn’t wait to have him inside you.

“What do you want, love?” He asks as he brings your bra off your shoulder exposing your bare chest.

“Just fuck me Harry, please.” You whine cause you know he was teasing you. He likes too see you beg.

Harry looks like he’s thinking for a second and then shakes his head. You sigh and was about to yell at him that he made you come all the way here at 12am-

You Moan as he bent down to place your plump nipples in his mouth. He licked in between your breasts and left you sweet kisses.

“You are very pretty.” He says between kissess and you blushed even more then you already are.

Suddenly you felt Harry’s warm fingers on your clit and you jolted. He placed two fingers there and started moving in circles while still kissing your chest. You were panting.

“Harry… oh my gosh.” You felt him slid in two fingers and you couldn’t help but move your hips deeper into Harry’s fingers.

“Faster Harry, c'mon.” You pleaded.

“I want you to fuck my fingers babe, you do it.” You almost wanted to scream but Harry liked watching you move your hips.

You started a movement as your hips were trying to get the right angel, and when you did you couldn’t stop. You arched your back and started bouncing.

Your boobs started banging against your chest as Harry watch you in awe riding his fingers.

“Harry, im clo-se” but you need more movement you needed harry to move his fucking fingers.

“No not yet.” Harry demands.

“Harry….I need more-” before you finished he pulled his fingers out and you gasped, but before you had time to yell at him. He slide his cock right inside of you and both of you let out a huge Moan.

“Fuck, your so tight. I love it.” Harry pants. You could see the sweet on his forehead as he thrusts into you. You both were uttering curse words and on cloud nine because sex together is always the best.

Harry leans down and places wet kisses down your body and you just wanted him closer, even more closer then this.

You wanted him, all of him.

Harry grabs yours legs and spreads them even wider as he places his thumb back into your clit and rubs it. Pleasure was coursing through your whole body now and you didn’t want it to end.

“Tell me how it feels Y/N, tell me.” He demands.

“So good harry!” He thrusts harder “oh my gosh so fucking good I love your cock it fits perfectly.” You tell him and he smirks as he watches how you react to him. How every body part wanted him, and he loved it. He loved doing this with you.

“I’m close” Harry tells you as he grabs your hips and pushes you harder. And you were too.

Harry leans over and kisses you like his life depended on it while he slammed inside you and that’s when you both came undone.

You were coming down from your high when Harry was still hovering over you. You were both just staring into each others eyes, and you would do anything to know what he was thinking.

But he leans and gives you a slow and passionate kiss. It wasn’t like the few you shared while you were getting off.

But this was sweeter and slow.

Then Harry tumbles to the side of you. The room was silent for a little with both of you still trying to catch your breath. No matter how many times you do it with Harry, your body is still exhausted every damn time.

“I’m sorry if I called too late.” Harry’s face fell as You looked over at the his clock behind him and saw that it was 1:47am.

“It’s alright, Harry. I wasn’t doing anything just watching Tv.” You reassure him. Even if you were busy you always had time for him, or you would make time. You couldn’t help but tuck the little strand of his curl behind his ear. Your hand was on the side of his cheek as you gently strocked it.

“I know but you have to drive back home at almost bloody 2am.” You quickly take your hand back from his cheek and frown.

“Wait what?”

Harry yawns “I said that you have to drive really late at night to get back home.”

Then it dawned on you.

He wanted you to go home.

He didn’t want you here.

He did just want you to suck his dick.

You’ve never been to his house this late before, so the option of spending the night was never an option. But you thought maybe tonight… wow you felt so stupid.

You quickly got up and turned your back to him and started to get dress, suddenly feeling weird naked around him.

“I mean you don’t have to leave right now, you can wait a half hour or something if your a little soar or something.” Harry tries pulling your wrist back to him but you snatched it away.

“No, I should go. Your right.” You slip your underwear and pants back on and throw on your hoodie. You could feel him staring at you, and you just wanted to leave. You shouldn’t of even came you told yourself. You grabbed your phone and without saying a word, went downstairs.

You could hear Harry’s footsteps following you as you put on your shoes and picked up the keys you dropped on the floor. The memory of tonight’s events still fresh in your mind. And even when he is kicking you out you still wanted to stay. You wanted to smack yourself.

“Y/N are you alright?” Harry turns you around before you could leave with an frown on his face. You mentally sighed. You shouldn’t blame Harry. He understands that this is a casual thing. I shouldn’t be mad if he didn’t want anything more then just this.

Rule number one of this arrangement, don’t catch feelings. He clearly hadn’t so that’s that.

You crack a fake smile “Yeah I’m good. Next time don’t call me too late!” You fake laugh trying to wash away the sadness.

He smiles and nods and it looks like he was about to say something. You were hoping for him to tell you to stay. That he wanted to lay with you and just hold you in his arms, because that’s what you wanted so badly.

But he didn’t. He just placed his hand on the sides of your face and kisses you. You didn’t want to feel those butterflies in your stomach but you did, and you knew you couldn’t help it.

“That was amazing. I had a good time tonight. I’ll call you.” He tells you as he opens the door to let you out of his house. And that’s when you knew. That’s when you knew what he wanted from you was way different from what you wanted from him.

He didn’t see you as girlfriend material, but just fuck friends. That’s what you too were. And no matter how many times you try and convince yourself that it isn’t that, the harder it will be.

So you leave knowing you would make it back. You liked Harry he was a good friend, you didn’t want to ruin whatever you had going on right now. So as you got in your car and started driving away. You decided to burry your feelings just a little deeper.

You wiped away the small tear that was falling down your cheek. He would just break your heart anyway. Forget your feelings.

This was for the best.

Part 2: https://imaginexxharry.tumblr.com/post/158552976554/wanting-more-part-2 *

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