so just reblog it lmao

anonymous asked:

If one hypothetically wanted to read your Eldritch Abomination Garfield fic, how would one go about finding it as directly searching for 'garfield' hypothetically does not include the fic?

“They bought it?” Lyman asked as Jon hung up the phone.

“I got the contract,” Jon confirmed, dazed. “I’m — I’m syndicated.”

“You did it, man!” Lyman said, clapping him on the back. Odie barked.

“They’re already thinking about merchandising deals,” Jon continued, staring into space.

“I told you things were going to turn around for you,” Lyman said with a nod. Odie continued barking, making it clear that he was not just trying to be supportive. “Hey, look, I’ve gotta take the dog for a walk. If the alarm goes off while I’m gone, can you take dinner out of the oven?”

“Yeah,” Jon said, with no real conception of what he was agreeing to. He still had not yet finished processing that phone call, the idea that he was going to be paid, consistently, that he was a working cartoonist, that his comics would be in papers. Merchandising deals. Merchandising.

It was not until he heard the door that Jon realized he was alone in the apartment.

Just him, and Garfield.

From the corner, it growled.

Jon’s heart spasmed; he hadn’t realized it was in the same room. “H—hey,” he said. It would have been a dumb thing to say if it was a normal cat. It was a dumber thing to say under the circumstances. Its eyes glowed red in the shadows. “How are you?” he asked, then winced as the cat growled again. “Heard the good news?” he asked weakly.

MY END OF THE CONTRACT HAS BEEN FULFILLED

It rumbled through his brain like an earthquake, words without words. He covered his ears even though it wouldn’t help. “Yeah, thanks for—”

I WILL FEED

Jon’s heart spasmed again, overwhelmed with the sense of a hunger not his own. “Right, about that—”

YOU WILL FEED ME it said, words written in blood, thick and hot.

“—yes, I got that, I’m just not really sure what I’m supposed to—”

MEAT and the word throbbed, tore.

“Would chicken be okay?”

UNACCEPTABLE it said in broken bone and jellied marrow.

“I don’t want to stereotype you by assuming you want to eat my roommate—”

YES GIVE ME HIS HEART it said, pulsing, torn flesh.

“—but you can’t eat Lyman.”

I͇̤͜ ̭̩W̨͕̪̠͙I̧̫͍͕̤̥̥̥L̜̜̭͔̪͢L̡͉͍͍͓̣ ͇F̤̜E̤̱̼̩͙̺͢E̥̳̫D̯͚̰ͅ

The glowing eyes moved from the shadows, grew larger, taller. Hellfire, if fire could cast dark instead of light, orange and red, fire and blood. The indistinct shape that might have been a cat became an indistinct shape that might have been a man, large, always large. Jon shrank back as it stretched to fill the room, tried not to look directly at it. Hot breath and sharp teeth against his skin, even though it couldn’t have been, because he was still wearing his jacket.

There was a chiming sound.

WHAT WAS THAT

“Uh.” Jon swallowed, hard. “Dinner?”

FOOD

“Yes,” Jon said, “but I don’t know if you can eat people food…”

Garfield sat in the middle of the floor, wide as it was tall. Its gaze was baleful.

“Right. You can eat whatever you want.” Slowly Jon inched around the cat to head toward the kitchen. “I don’t really know what it is, though. It might be… vegan.”

Garfield hissed, the sound of pain, and Jon fled toward the oven.

I SMELL MEAT

Jon stopped himself from telling the cat get off the counter. “I think it’s a casserole,” he said, removing the dish to set it on the stove. He gingerly removed the lid, his hands safely wrapped in oven mitts. “Oh. It’s lasagna.”

GIVE IT TO ME

“It has to cool,” Jon said. Garfield hissed again, and the sound turned Jon’s blood to fiberglass. He backed away, and the cat leapt bodily and entirely into the baked pasta. It did not seem bothered by the fact that the pasta sauce was still bubbling, and Jon tried not to look at the void of its mouth. A black hole rimmed with fangs, an absence of all light, drawing in all that it touched to disappear within.

WHAT IS THIS it asked, and a hellfire paw batted at a stretchy piece of mozzarella.

“… cheese?”

The cat-shaped thing nodded, still sitting in the dish of lasagna.

WE DO NOT HAVE THIS

“You don’t have cheese in hell?”

It nodded again.

“I guess that’s what makes it hell.” If Garfield appreciated this observation, it did not show it. It cracked open its maw again, more lasagna disappearing, and Jon looked away. “That lasagna was supposed to feed us for a week,” he sighed. “How much longer do I need to do this?” he asked.

UNTIL YOU ARE SATISFIED

“Until I’m satisfied?”

YOU MUST FEED ME TO SATISFY YOUR HUNGER

Realization dawned. “Wait, but — I thought this was a one-time thing.”

IT WAS NOT

“If you leave, I get fired?”

PERHAPS

“So I might still be able to make it on my own.”

DO YOU BELIEVE YOUR SKILL IS ENOUGH TO BRING YOU ALL THAT YOU DESIRE

Jon thought of the portfolio sitting in his room, and sagged. “… no.”

It grew, limbs stretching, claws turning to fingers and then claws again. It sat on the counter like a solid mirage, licking red from its hands.

YOU WILL HAVE RICHES BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS it said in truffle oil and fur and gold. SO LONG AS I AM FED YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HUNGER

Syndication and merchandising deals and maybe someday a cartoon on television. His signature in every newspaper in every house in the country. In the world, even. He raked his fingers through his curls and tried not to look at its claws.

“I guess I’m stuck with you, then,” Jon said.

It didn’t slide off the counter the way a man would, shifted off like drifting smoke or licking flames, stood and was no shorter. Tall and broad and solid, a weight to its presence as it moved closer. Jon shrank back again as it loomed, and this show of submission seemed to please it. Hot breath and sharp teeth against his skin again, and he shivered.

YES YOU ARE



3

HEY @actualbird HERE ARE SOME DOODLES FOR U from that ficlet u wrote!!! i just thought it was super sweet, i hope u don’t mind!!!!!

3

“What makes you so sure that your life is worth more than those people out there on the ice? Is it the money? The accident of birth, that put you inside a big, fancy house?”

“I help move this country forward. I move this Empire forward.”

“Human progress is not measured by industry. It is measured by the value you place on a life. An un-important life. A life without privilige.”

me: i hate fuckboys. i hate their smug attitudes, i hate how they walk around in gym clothes all the time as if they could start working out at any second, i hate how they look like the human embodiment of the word “bro” while simultaneously calling everyone around them a bro, i hate how they’re always flexing like they Know you’re watching, i hate how they throw up the same tired pose for every selfie, i hate em!!! hate fuckboys!!

tom holland: [does all of the above]

me: 👀

i’ve had to deal with both violent and ‘’’passive’’ homophobia, and let me tell you,  tbr passive homophobia hurts the most because it usually always comes out of people you thought were your friend and you have to sit back and deal with it or risk outing yourself

and the worst part is, they talk about it like it isnt a big deal

i’ve heard the worst of it, i’ve been called a d*ke told i was going to hell for having a fucking crush and… i’ve been told by friends that they would never talk to a lesbian, that we’re all sort of weird, that they were ‘’praying for me’’ like it was some sort of nice thing to say and i think that hurts the most because it comes out of friends and it makes you feel worthless, less than, cause you have to sit back and realize that not even your friends love you

it’s not just the ppl on the streets with there signs, it’s your neighbor, your best friend, your grandpa it doesnt matter if it’s violent or not, it’s homophobia and im fucking tired of people thinking that just because they dont throw slurs at me it makes them any better than any other homophobe

you’re a fucking homophobe doesnt matter how you present it

10

bonus:

i’m really surprised that i haven’t seen this in the fandom yet! each ‘page’ is numbered for your convenience. based off the picture book (x)

4

so i started testosterone yesterday and i feel so much more confident already, just knowing that I’m going to grow into he body I know i belong in, the body im comfortable in.

3

✨Opening Full colors Icon commissions!✨

   1 icon= 12 euros (about 14 dollars usd)


• OCs are accepted!

•Contact me at bumblebee@outlook.fr

•Payments via paypal only

If anyone sees this (and if you don’t mind) pls like/reblog or say in the comments if you’re a bts blog (doesn’t have to be 100% although i do follow very few multifandom blogs–you know who you are and you are very special).But since I’m 99% bts and Jin biased I’d like to follow more blogs too, and of course if you’re a content creator: gifs/edits/gfx/art i’d love to check out your blog!

“Millennials are rude and entitled.”

Really? Really?

Because I work at McDonald’s as a cashier and the other day I misunderstood a girl (she was probably about 20) and rang her up the wrong meal. This was totally my fault as I was sick and it had been a busy day so being exhausted I didn’t double check with her about her order.

Know what she did? APOLOGIZED. She didn’t want to be a “bother” or “complain too much.”

Then the person giving her her food forgot her fries, so she came back in and asked for them. I went and got them for her and she APOLOGIZED AGAIN.

None of this was her fault AT ALL.

But guess what?

An elderly man argued with me that I didn’t give him the correct change even though I counted it out 3 TIMES and SHOWED HIM THE RECEIPT explaining it to him.



This isn’t the only time older people have been waaaaay ruder than young people. This is just an example from one day. I honestly have so many other examples/stories.


So fuck your anti-millennial bullshit.

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EAST ASIAN MYTHOLOGY MEME:

[4/9] CHINESE GODS AND GODDESSES | CHANG'E

Chang'e or Chang-o [嫦娥] is the Chinese goddess of the Moon. Unlike many lunar deities in other cultures who personify the Moon, Chang'e only lives on the Moon.

In one version of the Chang'e legend, she was a beautiful young girl working in the Jade Emperor’s palace in heaven, where immortals, good people and fairies lived. One day, she accidentally broke a precious porcelain jar. Angered, the Jade Emperor banished her to live on earth.

Chang'e was transformed into a member of a rich farming family. When she was 18, a young hunter named Houyi from another village spotted her, now a beautiful young woman. They became friends. One day, a strange phenomenon occurred—10 suns arose in the sky instead of one, blazing the earth. Houyi, an expert archer, stepped forward to try to save the earth. He successfully shot down nine of the suns, becoming an instant hero. He eventually became king and married Chang'e.

But King Houyi grew to become greedy and selfish. He sought immortality by ordering an elixir be created to prolong his life. The elixir in the form of a single pill was almost ready when Chang'e came upon it. She either accidentally or purposely swallowed the pill. This angered King Houyi, who went after his wife. Trying to flee, she jumped out the window of a chamber at the top of the palace—and, instead of falling, she floated into the sky toward the Moon.

hello daily reminder not to ignore female muses and disregard all the hard work put into them bc chances are they had to put in 5 times the effort a male muse has to put in for a sliver of the attention. also? don’t Assume they ONLY exist to jump dick. thanks.

Compilation Posts

i’ve noticed that it’s become a trend on here for compilation posts to start circulating. what i mean by a compilation post is the op is collecting a variety of gifs, screenshots, and photos to make a sort of “list” about whatever topic they choose. this may be a “sexy jimin” post or a “savage yoongi” post, but no matter the topic a lot of these posts are using stolen and reposted work

how do you spot when something is stolen? @jjeonguk wrote a great post about it here. some of the tips include gifs being different sizes and/or styles, being watermarked with a url other than op’s, and being tagged with things like “bts smut” just to get their post into as many searches as possible.

reposters in general really piss me off, but thankfully most of the time once they’re called out they stop and/or the community bands together to make sure the stolen work isn’t being reblogged. but these compilation posts are popping up on my dash quite frequently. i never see anyone calling them out, and i never see people questioning if it’s stolen. plus, they’re getting thousands of notes. whole blogs seem to revolve around generating these kinds of compilation posts full of stolen content, and people keep letting it happen

here’s an example of what these posts with stolen content look like:

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