so jealous feels rip me in half

  • IN A MOVIE
  • woman: I'm mentally ill... I cry every single day.... 3000 tears... in the bathtub, listening to She's Lost Control.mp3 by Joy Division, drinking 1 alcohol... I live on cigarettes and black coffee... I cry so much... I wish I could just rip my fucked up head off my fat ugly body!!!!.... I hate myself... do you still want me?
  • man: oh baby baby yes of course I want you. Listen to me, Junebug-Summerrain, I love you and your freckles and your cute haircut and I will be there for you no matter what, baby. Look at me. Call me whenever, I'll be there in a sec and I'll bring you pizza cause you're not fat, you're beautiful, and that's why you're allowed to eat. Don't be so hard on yourself baby, I love you and I'm gonna save you
  • IN REALITY
  • woman: I'm mentally ill. My mood switches from happy to suicidial within a minute. I can't control my emotions. I haven't washed my hair or done the dishes in two weeks. The easiest tasks exhaust me. I crave affection and I will make you pay attention to me like a jealous dog, then ignore you completely. One minute I care, one minute I don't. I have irrational thoughts and I suppress impulses 24/7. I will lie to you and manipulate you and I won't give a fuck. Then I will, and that'll end up with me being hysterical. I cry a lot. Sometimes so hard it makes me throw up. I ignore my responsibilities. I haven't opened a letter in half a year. Sometimes I try and compensate my feelings by ripping my hair out or banging my head against a wall or I sit on the floor and rock back and forth for hours. You don't have to bring me pizza cause I have 4 mouldy ones in the fridge and I'm probably gonna eat them all at once tonight. Do you still want me?
  • man: lol okay wtf...wow that's a lot.. I'm sorry but... no... lol