BakuDeku, 88: "Don't panic but I think we might've accidentally gotten married." If you're still doing prompts ^^~
axalion said: 88. Deku/Baku. This could be hilarious.
“Deku. Wake up.”
Izuku mumbles incoherently and burrows deeper into the bedsheets. He’s warm and comfortable. He doesn’t want to get up just yet.
“Deku, you lazy fucker. Wake the fuck up.”
“Mmm… five more minutes.”
“You fucking asked for it.”
The next thing he knows, Izuku is flying off the bed sans blanket. He squawks when his bare skin comes in contact with the cold floor.
There is something about that sensation that has his alarm bells ringing. Not related to the fact that he was just thrown out of bed when he was so comfortable, which is startling enough on its own. Well, okay, he should have expected it considering Kacchan did it, but Izuku is not much of a morning person today.
Again, something niggles in the back of his mind. Something about Kacchan throwing him out of bed. Something about that is decidedly important.
“Ow,” Izuku mumbles, finally opening his eyes, and oh.
Kacchan is squatting beside him.
Kacchan is squatting beside him naked.
Kacchan is squatting beside him naked while Izuku is also naked.
Granted, Kacchan’s knees are in the way to see the thing. But Izuku knows it’s there, and oh god, the temperature is rising. Which is related to Izuku’s physiology , not Kacchan’s quirk.
Honestly, Izuku would prefer Kacchan’s quirk right about now. Mortifying doesn’t even begin to describe the situation.
“Don’t panic,” Kacchan says slowly. There’s something wrong with that. Mainly, the lack of swearwords which this situation would definitely warrant. Also, Kacchan’s face is doing something complicated and frankly, constipated looking, which is what it usually does when he tries to look nice and be comforting on purpose. “But I think we might’ve accidentally gotten married.”
Oh. Yeah. Right. What. Wait. Remember the script! “How?!” Izuku chokes out.
“Fuck if I know!” Kacchan shouts, waving his hands. There’s a suspiciously gold gleam on one of his fingers. Oh, there’s one on Izuku’s hand, too. Very nice, the ring, with a red gemstone that reminds him of Kacchan’s eyes. Kacchan’s has a green stone. “Last thing I remember we went into that shitty bar and you challenged me to a drinking contest, you little fuckwit! Next thing I know, I wake up with a ring on my finger and a signed marriage certificate on the table, my ass sore as fuck. This is your fucking fault! Let’s tour the United States like All Might did, my fucking ass!”
“I just said I had a high alcohol tolerance!” Izuku protests valiantly. “No challenge whatsoever. For your info, I’m sore, too, and maybe I wanted to tour the US, but you wanted to go to Vegas so you could rub it into Mina-san’s face!”
Not that Izuku wasn’t all over that plan, though.
“So you really don’t remember a thing?” he asks.
“I just fucking said that, didn’t I! I’ve got no fucking clue where we even are! Much less how this shit happened!”
“Did you know your right eyelid flutters a little when you lie, though,” Izuku mutters, stifling a grin.
“What was that, Deku?” Kacchan asks menacingly, looming over Izuku, and oh, Izuku can see the equipment now. It’s practically in his face, in fact.
“I said I don’t remember either!” he yelps out the blatant lie. “Nothing! At all! No memories of trying to find that church and picking out rings and mindblowing sex whatsoever! The alcohol must have addled my mind! Anyway, our flight goes in, like, two hours, we gotta get to the airport.” He jumps up, running for the bathroom. “You can probably get a quick and painless divorce somewhere in the city, but we absolutely don’t have time for that-”
“You saying you wanna get fucking divorced?” Kacchan demands angrily. “I’m prime husband material, you asshole!”
No, Deku, do not think about assholes and last night before you are in the shower alone. But wouldn’t it be nice to take a shower together, though.
“Of course you are!” Izuku squeaks. “We don’t have time anyway. Can’t miss the flight. I guess we can come back… later. I think we’ll have time for it in… a decade or two?”
“We don’t have time ever, we’re fucking heroes, you idiot,” Kacchan snorts derisively.
“Oh. Well. That’s too bad,” Izuku comments cheerfully. “Guess we’ll just have to put up with being married.”
“Yeah. Too fucking bad,” Kacchan echoes with a grin.
“So… shower?” Izuku asks hopefully. “You’ve got scrapes all over your back, better let me look at that. You know, be responsible and stuff.”
“And how the hell would you know that you scratched my back up last night, huh?” Kacchan smirks. “You’ve been facing my front this entire dumbass conversation, shitty Deku.”
“The blood under my nails is pretty telling,” Izuku answers innocently. “Shower?”