Your True Self
Summary: The reader is one of the few people that is close with Loki while he stays with the Avengers, which causes her to fall deeply in love with him. After talking with Steve, Bucky, and Thor the reader finally feels confidant enough to make a move.
Word Count: 5383
Authors note: Playful Loki is the BEST Loki! Get ready for this beautiful mixture of smut and fluff…this ones gonna HURT!
You were currently sitting in the living room of Stark Towers, for once all of you were able to enjoy a free day. Things were slow and before they got to 100 miles per hour again, you all were determined to enjoy it…even The God Of Mischief.
Loki was still relatively knew to your group, and only you and Thor seemed to be able to get along with him. You didn’t know what it was, but when it came to Loki you just couldn’t help yourself.
Maybe it was the beautiful contrast between his pale skin and raven hair, or the way his intense blue eyes seemed to stare into your soul. It could be that infamous smirk of his, and how good it felt to be the cause of it.
Whatever it was, you had it bad. It wasn’t that you were inexperienced, but rather just shy…and the man was a god. You were just a mere mortal who happened to be able kick ass, but you didn’t have any special powers.
These types of thoughts stopped you from letting your feelings be known, but that didn’t mean your friends remained in the dark about them. Everyone seemed to pick up on them, even Thor himself.
Thor had become an extremely close friend to you, and you embraced each others positivity and good heartedness. Whenever he saw the affect his brother had over you he would just laugh, “ I don’t understand you mortals, why do you hide your feelings?”.
You would just roll your eyes, “ Easier said than done coming from a literal god…I’m just me..”. His mood would shift when he heard you talk badly about yourself, it saddened him. He wished so badly for you to see yourself the way others saw you..the way his brother saw you.
Trust and friendship did not come easily to Loki, but they came easily with you. That was a miracle in itself, and Thor hated that you couldn’t realize it. Thor would turn to face you, always making sure you looked into his eyes for this was a serious matter.
He’d place a hand on your shoulder, “ A title like that means nothing, it is your actions that define you nothing else. Your actions make you a remarkable woman (y/n), it is a great misfortune that you cannot see that…at least my brother does”.
With that he would leave you alone with your thoughts, refusing to meddle any further. Thor loved you deeply, and he knew how lucky he was to have a friend like you.
Knowing that someone like you cared for his brother filled him with immense joy, if only you would act on your feelings. Despite what Thor told you, it was hard to see yourself how he saw you.
Currently you were in the kitchen talking with Steve and Bucky while the rest of the group hung out in the living room. Both the boys were arguing over who could make the best grilled cheese.
Bucky claiming that Steve “might’ve been frozen too long because his memory is damn wrong”. You sat there on one of the countertops, enjoying the bickering and teasing. Steve rolled his eyes, but laughed at Bucky’s comment.
He pointed the spatula at him, “ You and I both know I make the best grilled cheese in all of Brooklyn, Buck”. God they could argue over anything, but it was always lighthearted topics.
Things like, “ Who rode the Thunderbolt longest at Coney Island as kids” or even, “Who knew episodes of The Lone Ranger better”. You were just thankful that there was never any real fights between them.
Bucky was already getting the cheese and butter out of the fridge, “ Maybe that’s what you tell yourself to sleep at night…”. You laughed loudly at that, he was getting so into this. Steve grabbed the bread and pans, placing them next to the stove.
Suddenly both men turned to you, and you already knew what they were going to ask. Bucky spoke up first, “Why don’t we have our little (y/n) here be the judge!”. In hopes to get you on his side he finished his sentence with a wink.
Steve rolled his eyes, “ You’re barking up the wrong tree Buck, we both know who (y/n) has her eyes on”. You watched the smirk form upon Bucky’s lips, remembering your apparent crush for a certain Asgardian.
Trying to keep your cool you said, “ Right now I’d rather have my eyes on the best grilled cheese in all of New York, if either of you fools can make it”. They both pretended to be hurt by your comment, but the smirk only left Bucky’s face for a moment.
He raised an eyebrow, “ So what does it for you? The dark hair…the accent…his huge-”. Steve slapped Bucky behind the head, stopping his friend while he was ahead.
Bucky put his hands up defensively, “ I was going to say scepter, Captain Dirtymind”. Once again you found yourself laughing, you were lucky to have the friends you did. As if on cue Loki walked into the kitchen, maybe he was the god of bad timing.
Based off of the knowing glances both super soldiers were giving you, you were already blushing before Loki even said anything. He walked over to you with a book in his hand, “ Hello love, hungry are we?”.
You stood there for a moment without saying anything, your mind automatically drifting to more dirtier places. The sound of Bucky holding back a giggle behind you brought you back.
Smiling you said, “ I was going to see which one of these idiots could make the better grilled cheese”. You turned around briefly shooting daggers at both men, while they stood there smirking.
Since you were turned around you couldn’t see the smirk plastered across Loki’s face. He knew full well the innuendo he’d just said, and he knew why Bucky was laughing.
Loki questionably repeated the word, “ Grilled cheese?”. And you smiled realizing he had no idea what that meant. Steve spoke up, “ It’s a type of food here, that I just so happen to be the best at making”. For affect he turned to Bucky, a smug look plastered across his face.
You were eager to change topics, “ How’s the book coming along, do you like it?”. Loki shared your love of reading, and you’d actually got him to start reading one of your favorite books.
You’d given him your personal copy of, “ Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut” will all your favorite quotes underlined. He smiled, “ American authors write quite differently than Asgardians, I’m afraid most references go over my head”.
He watched that beautiful smile of yours fade away, and realized what he said might’ve come across wrong. Quickly he added, “ Would you mind explaining some of it too me love?”. Watching your smile form again made him just as happy, although he kept that to himself.
You got so excited, “ Are you sure?! I don’t want to bore you and-”. Loki laughed lightly knowing that was something you could never do. Holding your gaze he said, “ I find your passion for things quite intriguing darling”.
His words sent shivers down your spine, especially when he called you things like “love” or “darling”. Smiling you asked, “Usual place and usual time or for once will you actually get some sleep?”.
Loki laughed at your little joke, a smile forming upon his own lips. Before turning to exit the kitchen he said, “ I was thinking my room would be better, that way I can finally share one of my favorites with you”.
You nodded your head, way to excited for words to form. Once again he smirked, the effect he had over you was so thrilling for him. With that, he was gone, off to wander the halls until you’d find him later.
As you turned around you saw both Steve and Bucky smirking again. Steve smiled, “Usual place..usual time?”. You mentally slapped yourself for letting them hear that.
Bucky raised his eyebrows suggestively, “ Oh no Steve, he wants to show her something in his room maybe his-”. Once again Steve slapped Bucky behind the head, not wanting this teasing to make you feel too uncomfortable.
Bucky nodded his head, “Okay that time I wasn’t going to say scepter”. This caused you and Steve to crack up laughing. Steve’s expression softened, “I think he really cares for you (y/n) I mean have you even seen him be that inviting with any of us?”.
Steve had a valid point, it did take a lot for Loki to open up. Thinking out loud you said, “Maybe Thor is right…”. Both men looked to each other, and then back at you. Bucky’s eyes widened, “ Doll don’t tell me HIS OWN BROTHER said he had feelings for you!!”.
You hushed Bucky, not wanting the rest of the group to hear what you’d been talking about. Steve spoke up, “If Thor said something to you (y/n) then it has to be true..he knows his brother better than anyone”.
You started to blush finding yourself finally seeing the truth in Thor’s words. Looking up you said, “Okay maybe Thor has mentioned it a couple times but-”. Bucky’s jaw dropped, and Steve was just as shocked.
Bucky looked at you, “ But what?! Please don’t tell me it’s what I think it is..”. You avoided his gaze, letting him know what he was thinking was right. Steve knew what it was too, “You have no reason to be insecure (y/n), you’re one of the most incredible women I know”.
Bucky walked over to you, taking your hand in his. He made you do a spin, “You’re a bombshell doll, start to believe it”. Once again you found yourself smiling and thanking the universe for putting these people into your life.
Steve added, “ We love you and we wouldn’t lie to you, you have NO reason to be the slightest bit insecure…you don’t realize the way he looks at you”. You were confused, and raised an eyebrow.
Bucky rolled his eyes, “ Doll the way he smirks at you is sinful, I only know because I’ve been known to give a couple special women that look myself”. Rolling your eyes you ignored the second part of his comment.
He continued, “ I know desire (y/n), and it’s in his eyes everytime he looks at you”. This many of your closest friends wouldn’t give you false confidence, so what they were saying had to be true.
Smiling you said, “ I love you guys, and I promise I’ll judge your contest later, I have to go get ready”. Bucky cheered while Steve stood there with a look of happiness all over his face. Finally his best friend was going to get the love she deserved.
You quickly left the room which meant you couldn’t see the stares the rest of the room had given Bucky from his cheering. Clint casually said, “ Is (y/n) finally going to make a move on Horns?”.
Bucky nodded his head to which Nat responded with, “ Finally…by the way Stark you owe me $20”. Tony grumbled but handed Natasha the money, causing the room to look at her confusingly.
She smirked, “ What? Tony said it would take (y/n) another month, and I guessed it would be by the end of this week”. Steve gave Nat his best, “disappointed dad” look.
Sam grinned, “ Look the money was going towards a good cause, and Barnes you owe me $15”. Steve looked to his best friend, who pulled out the money from his pocket. Shocked Steve asked, “ You too?”.
Bucky shrugged his shoulders, “ Hey at the end of the day (y/n)’s the one getting laid, so who cares”. Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, god his friends were idiots…but their good intentions made up for it.
After the kitchen you went directly to you room, wanting to quickly get ready to meet with Loki later. You weren’t going crazy, not even wearing makeup, but you did wanna freshen up.
Before you’d shower you wanted to pick out your clothes for meeting him. You knew green was his favorite color, and man did you have a surprise for him. Nat had insisted you’d buy this dark green bra and panty set.
It was a mixture of green lace patterns and see through mesh. The underwear were high-waisted, but the see through mesh showed a lot of skin tastefully. It showed off your curves beautifully.
You decided that for clothes you would go the simple route. A pair of leggings and a white off the shoulder top, simple but beautiful. You wore your favorite necklace, it had been a gift from Steve.
Surprisingly it was a gold choker with about five stars that dangeled. You loved that he had taken the time to pick it out, giving you proof that chivalry wasn’t dead. Of course feetwise you’d only be wearing a pair of your favorite fuzzy socks.
Loki always found them amusing from the first night he saw you wandering the halls wearing them. You’d had a cup of tea in one hand, and a book in the other. Your hair had been tied up, but strands still covered your face.
He loved how disheveled you look, truth be told his mind drifted immediately. When you noticed him you smiled, “ Can’t sleep either?”.
Loki never forgot how you weren’t scared of him, or cold, like everyone else had been. You were kind and inviting, something he wasn’t used too. Smiling he answered, “ I’m afraid I never get much sleep love”.
Raising a brow you asked, “ Why is that?”. You seemed so concerned for him, something else he hadn’t expected. Walking closer to you he pointed to his head, “ Nightmares, strange how no bit of magic can seem to cure them”.
You stepped closer to him as well, “ Well I’m guessing wandering around alone at night doesn’t help…I always need to be with someone when I get them”. His expression softened, was this an offer?
You added, “ Buck’s the same way…total cuddler…but don’t let him know I told you he’d kill me”. Loki laughed softly, you were already so trusting. He said, “ Well that must make you a good lover”.
You snorted…lover that was a hilarious idea. He looked confused so you explained, “Bucky’s one of my bestfriends..I love him but not like that”. As you spoke you found yourself walking closer to him.
He raised an eyebrow, “Are there that many types of love for you Midgardians?”. That was when you remembered how tough Loki’s life had been, you doubted he knew any type of love.
Smiling you said, “If you’re one of us there is…and you seem to be working on it”. As he listened to you a smile formed upon his lips. Talking to you was like a breath of fresh air.
You added, “ If you ever want to wander the halls together I wouldn’t mind”. You never understood how you were so daring, but maybe it had to do with the fact that it was the middle of the night.
Loki smiled again, “ I’ll have to take you up on that offer, but I can tell that tonight you desire sleep”. You were extremely tired, and talking to him had calmed your nerves. With a glimmer in your eyes you responded with, “ You better be serious Loki”.
He laughed lightly, “ I shall come find you tomorrow night love, I promise”. To some a promise from the God of Mischief probably meant nothing, but you trusted him. Smirking you said, “ And if you break it I’m afraid you’ll be to dead for sleep anyways”.
You parted your separate ways, but not before seeing a smirk form upon his lips. Loki thought to himself, “ Oh this shall be fun”. That was the start of whatever was currently happening between you both.
After laying out your clothes you jumped into the shower. The warm water felt wonderful on your skin, calming any nerves you had. You lathered yourself up with your favorite body wash; a mixture of lavender and lilac.
You made sure that every part of you body was freshly shaven and soft. Your hair looked extremely silky and smelt heavenly. This all made you feel extremely beautiful.
By the time you were actually ready an over hour had passed. As you looked at yourself in the mirror you smiled, being you was good enough. For once, you confidently made your way towards Loki’s room.
So many thoughts filled your head that you’d become distracted. While turning the corner you knocked into a very strong body, as you looked up you realized it was Thor. With ease he lifted you up, “ Sorry (y/n), you seem quiet distracted though..”.
He took in your appearance and smiled when he noticed your socks. Smirking he asked, “Going to find my brother are you?”. You blushed wondering how he’d known, what could’ve given it away?
With a hearty laugh he explained, “My brother had mentioned his love for your…fuzzy socks?”. Looking down at your feet you smiled, and Thor realized he had gotten the work right. He added, “ Steve also told me of your encounter earlier in the kitchen”.
Looking up at Thor you smiled, “Loki said he wanted to share one of his favorite books with me”. Thor’s smile only grew, that was a big thing for his brother. Quickly you added, “I finally trust what you’ve been telling me Thor..that he cares for me”.
His eyes lit up when he realized what you’d said. Taking your hand in his he said, “ It warms me to know that you finally see your true self”. You hugged Thor, and smiled when he wrapped his arms around you.
Softly you said, “ Thank you for not giving up on me”. Thor only hugged you tighter, wanting his love to be known. When he let you go he said one last thing, “Thank you for not giving up on my brother”.
You continued to make your way towards Loki’s room, your heart now filled with love. You knocked on the door to which Loki said, “ Come in love”. Loki’s room was not what you’d thought it would be.
It was extremely simple, the more extravagant things being his extensive bookshelf, and overlook of the city. Instantly you walked over to the huge window, staring out into the night.
You would’ve forgot where you were had he not come up behind you, “Beautiful isn’t it?”. As you turned your head you realized he was standing directly next to you, shoulders touching.
He continued, “ I didn’t expect to find it so enchanting, but there’s so much more complexity here than Asgard”. You’d never been to Asgard, but from what Thor had told you it seemed beautiful.
Reading your mind he said, “Asgard is beautiful, but Midgard is so free..people aren’t just confined to one single planet”. You’d never thought of it like that, the only people to travel in Asgard had to be high authority.
Turning to him you said, “ I guess my escape is reading, which I’m guessing you share”. As he looked at you, he smiled again. He walked over to his bookshelf, “ When I was confined to my cell reading kept me sane…as sane as I could be”.
You followed him, “ I can’t imagine the toll that must’ve had on you Loki..”. No one had ever had that reaction, no one had ever considered his burdens. His fingers skimmed the books before finding the one he wanted.
Still not facing you he said, “ The price to pay for the crimes I’ve committed I assume”. When he finally turned around to look at you, immediately you saw the hurt in his eyes.
Walking closer to him you said, “ To live your entire life feeling like there was this part of you that made you not belong is an awful thing to go through”. His lips parted, but no words came out.
You continued, “Not to overstep my boundaries, but I don’t agree with a lot of things the All-father has done. He should’ve never hid the truth from you, or pin you against Thor, it shouldn’t be the case that only one can rule…but despite all this Loki I don’t think you’ve become an awful person”.
He thought he might drop the book he’d been holding, no one had ever spoke to him like this. It was like you were reading his thoughts, looking at what hurt him the most.
For once Loki struggled to find words, “ I didn’t think anyone could look past the awful things I’ve done”. Without even realizing he’d been walking towards you.
Holding his gaze you said, “You’ve made mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you should be condemned for them…people can always grow”. You shared such a unique perspective on life, and he now saw why Thor liked you so much.
Laughing softly he said, “If only others shared the same outlook that you do…the world would be different”. By now you were only a foot or so from each other, the closest you’d ever been.
Loki noticed you biting your lip, “ What is troubling you (y/n)?”. You had heard that Loki had a true form and you often wondered what it looked like. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.
Taking a step closer to him you asked, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable Loki, but I’ve often wondered what your true form looks like..if you don’t want to show me I won’t be hurt”.
From everything you’d been through, he trusted you. He took your hands in his, their coolness refreshing. Loki softly said, “ Close your eyes love”. No matter how much he trusted you, he was scared you wouldn’t like his true form.
A moment later he asked you to open your eyes, and you were mesmerized. His skin was a beautiful dark blue with light blue patterns all over it, his eyes a deep shade of red.
Instinctually your started to trace the pattern on his neck, and blushed when you realized what you’d done. Blushing you said, “I’m sorry..it’s just…your skin is so beautiful..”. His jaw dropped, beautiful?
Raising an eyebrow he asked, “ You don’t find me frightening?”. You couldn’t help but giggle, how could he be frightening? Smiling you said, “ Loki that’s the last thing I’d ever think of you”.
You watched him process your words, seeing him smile when he finally trusted them. You added, “ If you felt comfortable enough you could remain in your true form every time you’re around me”.
His smile grew, “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known (y/n)”. Holding his gaze was too much, so you turned your head to the side. He placed two fingers under your chin, turning you head to him.
Now that you held his gaze he said, “I care deeply for you (y/n) and now I know you feel the same”. You wanted to faint, he admitted his feelings for you. You no longer felt nervous, you were ready.
Placing a hand on his chest you said, “ I love you Loki, for who you are”. He moved his hands to rest on your hips, bringing your body closer to his. Leaning forward he kissed you passionately, his grip on your hips pressing your body into his.
You eased into the kiss, moving on hand to grip his hair on the back of his neck. Just as soon as it had started Loki stopped it, “ I didn’t mean to be so forward love…I just-”.
Smirking you asked, “ I thought the god of Mischief always took what he wanted”. You watched his lips shift into a smirk, and there was a different look in his eyes.
Loki looked at you like you a predator looks at prey, and it made you core ache. His voice was low, “Are you teasing me my pet?”. The way his words rolled off his tongue made you want to moan.
He began to kiss slowly up your neck, taking his time. Loki wanted to leave his mark on you, let the world know he loved you and you were his. He began to nibble on the area below your ear, “I do love you (y/n)”.
Loki began to kiss back down your neck, “ I love the way your breath hitches when I find the slightest ways to touch you..the way your eyes seem to beg me to claim you as mine..is that what you want darling?”.
By now Loki had picked you up, carrying you to his bed. He laid you on your back, and hovered over you by propping himself up with his elbow.
Loki helped you take off your shirt, “Do you want everyone to know that you are mine? That those pretty noises coming out from your lips are my doing?”. You were already so needy, and he had barely been touching you.
When Loki noticed what you’d been wearing under your clothes he groaned loudly, licking his lips. His smirk was sinful, “You shall be the death of me love”. You sat there, anticipation stopping you from saying anything else.
Loki snapped his fingers, “ Normally I’d love to rip your clothes off of you, but I’m afraid you’ve made me very impatient”. Not only were you left in your undergarments, but Loki was now only left in his.
The light blue patterns continued all over his chest and legs, and you were mesmerized. Bringing a hand to his chest you traced the patterns once again, and for a moment love replaced the lust in his eyes.
Loki couldn’t contain himself anymore, he picked you up once again making you straddle him. His back pressed against the headboard, and his hands on your hips. Looking down at him you said, “I think I can work with impatience”.
Once again he brought his lips to yours, kissing you fevioriusly. You couldn’t help but grind yourself against him, causing him to moan throughout the kiss.
Loki moved his hands to undo your bra, letting it fall slowly off your body. Without hesitation he brought his mouth to suck on one breast, his hand massaging the other.
He teased your sensitive nipples by dragging them lightly between his teeth, and then flicking them with his tongue. Moaning you begged, “ Loki please I need more”.
He moved his free hand down to tease your clit through the fabric of your panties, his cold fingers an amazing contrast to the heat of your area. Loki moaned realizing how wet you were, “These are soaked darling, such a good little pet”.
You began to grind yourself against his fingers, needing any sort of friction. Loki laughed softly, “So needy for me”. With a snap of his fingers nothing separated your bodies anymore.
He teased you further by rubbing circles around your clit, his cold fingers sending shivers down your spine. Moaning loudly you said, “That feels…so..good”.
Had your eyes not been closed you would’ve seen his smirk, “ Perks of being a Frost Giant darling”. The coldness seemed to tease you more, and you’d never felt anything like it.
It made you so needy, “ Please Loki I-”. He stopped what he was doing with his hand, and you finally felt his hard member pressing against you.
Loki smirked when he saw you taking in his size, “That’s just a perk of being me love”. So Bucky was right…he did have a huge…scepter. Everything about the man was amazing.
Your brought your hand down to slowly pump him, “ What happened to impatience love”. Loki smiled hearing you tease him, mocking his tone.
You moved your body down, your face inches from his member. No sly comment left his lips, he needed you just as badly as you needed him. Slowly you licked up his member, watching his pupils dilate.
When you got to his tip you flicked your tongue over it causing his breath to hitch. Finally you took him into your mouth, taking as much as you could. Loki moaned loudly feeling himself hit the back of your throat.
To his dismay you changed positions. Now you moved your mouth to lick the underneath of his balls, knowing that it was a very sensitive area. Loki moaned, his eyes rolling into the back of his head.
It was your turn to smirk sinfully, and it felt good. You moved to take him into your mouth again but Loki pulled your body up. His voice was needy, “If you do that again this will be over before it has begun”.
With one hand Loki slowly pressed himself up and down your slit, “And it’s much more pleasurable this way”. His eyes seemed to search yours for any remaining doubts, he didn’t want to rush you.
You took his face in both your hands, “Loki I am yours”. That was all he needed to hear, slowly he inserted himself inside of you. Your walls stretched around him, causing you both to moan.
You started to bounce up and down, loving the feeling of him going in and out of you. Loki moved his hands to your hips again, guiding you. He moved you forward and backward, riding him.
In between thrusts he said, “You look so beautiful like this (y/n)”. With your hands holding onto his shoulders you leaned forward, letting him go deeper inside of you. With each thrust he was hitting your g-spot.
This angel gave him the perfect opportunity to suck your breasts again, giving you even more pleasure. The chill of his mouth against your hot skin made your pleasure only intensify.
Together your bodies moved as one, needing each other badly. This was all becoming too much, “Loki I’m so close”. You felt yourself right on the edge.
Loki was panting, “Tell me whos you are love”. You didn’t know if you could even speak right now, you only seemed to be able to moan. Picking up the pace Loki repeated himself, “Let everyone know who’s making you feel this good”.
Loudly you screamed, “Loki…you are Loki…fuck”. Somehow he went even deeper and faster, and you knew you couldn’t hold back. Loki nearly growled, “Cum for me (y/n) cum for me right now”.
His words pushed you over the edge, your orgasm now washing over you. It felt like a tsunami that started at your core and caused wave after wave of pleasure to crash throughout your body.
All you could do was moan his name, you were screaming it out. As Loki felt your walls clench around him, he was pushed over the edge. He’d never felt anything like this before, it was so intense.
Loki came just as hard, yelling out you name. Together you rode out your orgasms, wanting this feeling to last forever. Neither of you had felt something this good.
When Loki finally opened his eyes and saw how disheveled you looked he found his heart swelling with love again. Looking deeply into your eyes he said, “I love you so deeply (y/n) and as long as I live you shall be mine and I yours”.
This time when you brought your lips to his the kiss was slow, as if you both wanted to remember this moment forever. You felt him smile against your lips, and you laughed softly.
You rested ontop of his chest as he asked, “What is so amusing darling?”. You looked up into his eyes again, he was still in his true form. Smiling you said, “ I just can’t believe how lucky I am to have you Loki”.
He kissed your forehead softly, “And I the same”. For once Loki felt at peace enough to finally get some rest, the rise and fall of your chest calming him.
He closed his eyes, shocked when only good thoughts crossed his mind. Although magic couldn’t fix his nightmares, maybe your love had been the answer. Loki fell fast asleep, not questioning it further.