so i've decided to do these for all kinds of things

6

I had promised a KiriBaku kid something like months ago, and tbh most of the reason why it took me this long is because I couldn’t pick between these two so?? In the end just have them both I guess - some info about them under cut, in case you wanna know more!!

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thatlastdanceofchances  asked:

I've never seen Pacific Rim because it was promoted (at least in my country) as a movie about fighting robots (not that different from how the Transformers movies are promoted) and that's not my thing. But from what I've gleaned on tumblr, there seems to be more to it. All this to say: sell me on Pacific Rim?

Aw man.

So, Pacific Rim is a movie with robots fighting giant monsters.

It is unapologetically, unashamedly a movie about robots fighting giant monsters.

And it is amazing.

Because yes, humanity is nuts and decides giant monsters from another dimension invading is a problem best solved with giant robots. BUT!


Originally posted by ezekiels

- The movie is done by Guillermo Del Toro, the guy behind Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth, and Crimson Peak. So visually? It’s GORGEOUS. The monster designs are stunning. The art direction and color and visual themes are all brilliantly crafted. I could write a whole essay just on the use of color (and I’m sure someone here has!).


Originally posted by headlesssamurai

- The movie has leads of color. You walk in thinking Charlie Hunnam’s white boy character Raleigh is gonna be the main character, and then it turns around and focuses on the dynamic between Mako Mori (played by Rinko Kikuchi) and her adopted father Stacker Pentacost (Idris Elba). There are still a lot of white characters, but Mako and Stacker are the movie’s emotional core. 


Originally posted by hamillfisher

- The movie is pretty feminist. Mako Mori is AMAZING, and the movie does not focus on sexualizing her or turning her into the object of a romance, but rather letting her be a total badass in her own right with her own important story arc. The movie and the characters respect her, and a lot of gender tropes get undermined with the film. The Mary Sue has a good write-up here


Originally posted by tacticalneuralimplant

- The movie is original. It’s not a remake, not an adaptation from a book or comic, not made to sell toys, and not a sequel. And while I love adaptations, there’s something really cool about a fresh and original story, since Hollywood hasn’t been doing many of those. It takes the mecha genre and the kaiju genre and does something new in combining them.


Originally posted by thislittlediary

- The movie highlights the importance of relationship bonds. It takes two people to pilot a jaeger (giant robot) to share the ‘neural load’ of controlling that big a robot with your brain. And in order to successfully pilot a jaeger, pilots have to be “drift compatible” – meaning they have some kind of bond or connection that allows them to be mentally in sync. Pilot pairings demonstrate every kind of bond, from platonic friends, to parents and children, to brothers, to married couples. And they’re all important!


Originally posted by raffleupagus

- The movie is FUN. There’s beautiful, insane action fights with robots punching giant monsters and it’s a goddamn delight.  The premise is nuts, and it doesn’t try to apologize for it. It’s just plain enjoyable. 


In short: Pacific Rim, while certainly an imperfect movie, and while unabashedly a movie about robots punching giant monsters, is still good and still fun, and you should absolutely see it. The visuals are great, the characters are likable, the action is amazing, and it has a lot of heart, and a lot of hope in humanity’s sheer and utter ridiculousness. 

x-benihime  asked:

so i've been overloading my brain with your brilliant Bakugou meta because omg its amazing and you're putting all my thoughts into perfectly articulated words and phrases and i've decided you are awesome. Do you have a masterlist at all?

OOHHH MY GOSH THERE IS A LOT……

i don’t have a masterpost, but i can make one right now!!!!

i hope that helps!!!!!!

here’s a link to all my general MHA related meta!!!

THE SIGNS AS THINGS I'VE SAID BEFORE
  • Aries: People hold hands? Psh I can't relate, I throw hands like a real man.
  • Taurus: [puts on fake glasses] It's time to read some hoes.
  • Gemini: Me actually liking someone? Sounds fake, I just like the validation that I'm not complete trash.
  • Cancer: I'm internally screaming right now because the one day I decide to wear makeup I keep crying. My eyelashes are clumping together and I cannot. I refuse.
  • Leo: Do you ever see the sun and you're like ... Man, I'd love to punch it because same. I want to punch the sun so hard. My only chance to be fist-kissed by a hottie.
  • Virgo: I feel bad that I don't recycle. I just can't be inspired to do it because I still feel terrible about life after doing so. [throws water bottle in recycling bin] Oh look, I still have depression!
  • Libra: I want to have a flowery aesthetic... I need a group of friends that are always willing to take pictures of frolicking through flower fields.
  • Scorpio: I love the fact that no one really knows anything about me, but it also makes me kind of sad at the same time. What is my legacy besides being the mysterious and hot one?
  • Sagittarius: The only person in this world who will never break my heart is education connection lady. She's still in 2009 singing about her education experience and I refuse to believe anything different.
  • Capricorn: I've spent 10 hours of my life listening to the education connection song. If I don't make it to college, then I may as well just die.
  • Aquarius: Other people around me are always like "I LOVE YOU! OMG, I LOVE YOU!" Meanwhile I'm just eating my imaginary popcorn thinking about how much I hate everyone.
  • Pisces: I'm eating five hour old chicken nuggets and I'm sad. I don't think I'll finish them... I have to throw them away... This is probably the worst thing I've ever done in my life.

malec-go-to-hogwarts  asked:

hi cassie :) i've been a fan of the books since 2010 and it's been amazing to see how much they've grown in terms of popularity and audience. I would love to know whether you came up with the idea to write the eldest curses because of how popular Magnus became and the reaction to him or was the idea in your head from the beginning and you decided to finally write it :) also could i be cheeky and ask for a snippet from the lost book of the white preferably featuring Alec....

I was excited to write the story of Magnus and Alec Having An Adventure and Falling More In Love for a very long time, but my ability to do so was limited by the way publishing and distribution worked back in 2005, when I was initially trying to sell City of Bones. There was a lot more resistance to gay characters in YA at that time. A couple of publishers turned the book down because Alec, a gay character, was in it. The Barnes & Noble website page for City of Bones included a review from Commonsense Media where they gave it a content warning for “sexual content” just because of the presence of a gay character even though he never did anything sexual. A lot of big box stores refused to carry the book, and major children’s book clubs passed it over. 


I always hoped for systems to change. As the books grew more popular, and as times changed, I was able to include more of Magnus and Alec as the series went on. In fact, their presence in the story and on the page made a big jump starting in CoFA, at which point I received a surge of criticism from those who were upset that I was writing about Magnus and Alec more prominently. I remember having my books pulled from libraries; foreign translators cut scenes with Magnus and Alec in them; once I was standing in the middle of the street about to get into a car to take me to a school where I was going to do a talk about my books when my publicist came up and said we were no longer invited: the school had read about Magnus and Alec and they didn’t want me there. Or often, if I was at a school, I’d be asked not to talk about Magnus and Alec while speaking to the students.


I tried to walk a careful line, including Magnus and Alec (and later, Aline and Helen) as significant and meaningful characters, but still managing to keep schools, libraries, and reading groups from throwing the books out or locking them up where the kids who most needed to read them wouldn’t be able to access them at all.


I held onto the hope that attitudes would continue to shift, to allow for more freedom to write characters who accurately represent the population of the world we live in (and represent my own friends and family, on whom Alec and Helen specifically are based). Hope that I’d be able to expand roles for characters like Magnus and Alec, and over the past twelve years — partly as I’ve carved out my career in a way where I can take the sales hits that sometimes result from major LGBT+ inclusion, and partly because of so many brave writers, readers, editors and publishers who’ve pushed for change — I’ve been able to do so more and more. 


When I was writing CoFA, I purposefully left a gap where Magnus and Alec go on vacation, with the idea that someday I could go back and fill in that gap with a story focused on them. For a long time that wasn’t something that companies wanted to buy and publish. I could have self-published the series, but I wanted the books on the shelves in stores, on the “bestsellers” rack with every other book I’ve written, making a statement about how much people want this kind of book and these kind of characters. I chose to write the story now when I did because Simon and Schuster, my publisher, opened Saga Press, an imprint dedicated to expanding what you can do in YA and cross-publishing with adult fantasy/sci fi. It’s Saga that will be publishing The Eldest Curses.

I thought a lot about what to say here because of two things: one, that people don’t like to hear about pushback against writing non-straight characters — it’s depressing (it is), it seems distant, unreal, how can these old systems and thought processes still exist? We’ve had successful books with gay characters in them! We’re done, right? I guess all I can say is that I think there’s a value to illuminating the pushback because it underlines how important it is to keep supporting books with LGBT+ characters because we are not there yet; we’re not where those books are give the same budgets and marketing and push as books with straight casts, and it takes the support of readers and reviewers and bookstore and library buyers to get us there.

I’d also say that I know I’ll get criticism for saying I was careful in my portrayal of Magnus and Alec until I felt like I’d gotten to a place where even if the fact that they were in love, lived together, even had sex was shown or even just implied (as it is in CoFA) it wouldn’t mean the books were locked up in libraries and slapped with warning labels. I guess I can only say it’s hard to navigate a situation where you fear the very kids who need to read about Magnus and Alec won’t be able to. When you meet kids who say “This book saved my life” so many times, and you think “But what if you couldn’t get to it? What if your school wouldn’t carry it, or your library, or your Walmart, which in small towns is sometimes literally the only source of books?) I accept that criticism. We all face hard choices in life and we make complicated decisions we think are for the best, and being criticized for those decisions is part of living and learning.

I guess the only other thing I’d say is whatever shitty things were said to me over the years about Magnus and Alec, they pale in comparison to the shitty things said to writers like Malinda Lo and Scott Tracey who were writing their own lives and experiences in the form of LGB characters on the page — and as Malinda says, their pain at confronting homophobia/biphobia will always be more visceral and personal than mine.

If you go out and buy The Lost Book of the White of course I’ll be thrilled, and a lot of that will be because it’s a way to show publishers that this kind of media and these protagonists are wanted and desired by readers. But I’d be just as thrilled if you picked up any fantasy by an LGB+ writer with LBG+ characters in it. There’s a ton of wonderful stuff and I hope you’ll explore it.

6

Rumiko Week - Day #1: Favorite Female Characters

anonymous asked:

My dad says Zoo's are becoming politically incorrect. I've seen both arguments but I wanna hear your opinion on it: do you think Zoo's are a good idea?

Well, let’s see if I can keep this response short.

First, I’m guessing that by ‘politically correct’ you mean ‘ethically sound.’ So, is keeping animals in zoos an ethical thing to do? As with many things, there is no easy or even single answer to that question.

Without a doubt, there are bad zoos- private or roadside zoos, zoos that keep their animals in abhorrent conditions, zoos that allow visitors to engage in unsafe things like cub-petting schemes. It is obvious that these types of zoos are unethical and exploitative.

(Hint: something like this is never a good sign.)

On the other hand, what constitutes a ‘good’ zoo? In the best captive conditions currently available, is it okay to keep an animal locked up? Some say no, no matter what; some say what we have now isn’t good enough. Others say yes- the best zoos are able to provide their captives with good lives.

This of course brings us to just what a ‘good’ life is. Those who say that animals should never ever be placed in captivity usually value a sense of freedom above all else. Even in perfect captive conditions, an animal will not be free, wild, or ‘natural.’

However, we must acknowledge that ‘freedom’ is a concept created and defined by humans. A human locked in a prison knows the difference between captivity and freedom, and is able to conceptualize that certain ‘rights’ that they have are being violated. But for animals, this may be too complex to perceive. How far back do you have to move a fence before a kudu decides that he is wild again? The idea that animals sense when they are ‘free’ versus ‘not free’ is, to me, not realistic.

Animals do, however, benefit from the ability to be free to make choices, such as what they eat, where they will go, who they will interact with, and so on. Undeniably, captivity presents animals with fewer choices of these kinds than they would have in the wild. The best zoos are now implementing programs to accommodate these choices, particularly with highly intelligent animals such as elephants and apes.

One such example: the “O Line” at the Smithsonian National Zoo allows orangutans to choose one of two buildings to stay in during the day. Other animals, such as the otters, can choose whether or not to be on exhibit via spaces in their enclosure that are sheltered from the public. Scatter feeding and foraging enrichment is yet another way that zoos allow animals to choose what food they want to eat.

Still, despite these improvements, there will always be limitations of choice in captive environments compared to wild ones by the very definition of ‘captivity.’ Furthermore, while many strides have been taken to update enclosures with choices in mind, the fact remains that the implementation of behavioral science in zoos lags behind the research due to the costs, and often due to the stress of the animals themselves when trying to adjust to new schedules and norms (even if they are theoretically better ones).

A forty-year old captive elephant will have lived through decades of zoo reform, and we can’t erase those negative experiences from her mind.

One danger of comparing captive animals to their wild counterparts is assuming that captive environments should mirror the wild ones as closely as possible. But what the wild even is is not well-defined. ‘Wild’ deer roam my suburban neighborhood: should that habitat be replicated in their zoo enclosure? Wild environments include predators, diseases, and natural disasters: is it better that those be implemented in zoos as well?

In actuality, an animal born in captivity likely has no sense of what its natural environment should look like. Certainly it has natural instincts and inclinations- a tiger likes to urine-mark vertical objects and a gibbon likes to climb- but neither of them specifically needs a tree to do this with- a post or rope swing would also work. The ‘naturalistic’ look of many zoo enclosures is actually for the benefit of the visitors, not the animals. In fact, a lush, well-planted habitat could still be an abysmal one for an animal if all of its needs aren’t being met.

This brings us to one of the most important aspects of zoos: the visitors. Theoretically, one of the major purposes of good zoos is to educate and inspire the public about animals, particularly in regards to their conservation. But do zoos actually do this?

The answer is yes… to a small extent. People given surveys upon entering and leaving a zoo exhibit generally do know slightly more about the animals than they used to, but this depends a lot on how educated they were to begin with. While many visitors express an increased desire to engage in conservation efforts after leaving a zoo, not many of them have actually followed up on it when surveyed again a few weeks later. Still, most zoo visitors seem to leave the zoo with several positive if perhaps short-term effects: interest in conservation, appreciation for animals, and the desire to learn more. If a visitor experiences a “connection” with an animal during their visit, these effects are greatly increased.

However, certain types of animal “connections” and interactions can also produce a negative effect on zoo visitors. This reflects what I said earlier about the naturalistic design of habitats being more for the visitors than the animals. Individuals who view animals performing non-natural behaviors (such as a chimpanzee wearing clothes and acting ‘human,’ or a tiger coming up to be petted) are less likely to express an increased interest in their conservation, and even less likely to donate money towards it. Generally, our own perception of freedom and wildness matters much more than the individual animal’s.

The fact of the matter is that, worldwide, zoos spend about $350 million dollars on wildlife conservation each year. That is a tremendous amount of money, and it comes from visitors and donations. What amount of discomfort on the part of captive animals is worth that money being devoted to their wild counterparts? It’s hard to say.

This is a very, VERY general overview of some of the ethical issues surrounding zoos; to go over it all, I’d need to write a book. But hopefully, it got you thinking a little bit about what your own opinion on all this is. (I didn’t explicitly state mine on purpose, though it’s probably fairly clear.)

Refs and further reading below the cut!

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bela-lugosis-corpse  asked:

I've been thinking about this for a while, but how effective is full plate armour? Was it actually a good way to defend yourself?

Short Answer: Yes. 

Here’s a general rule: People in the past were ignorant about a lot of things, but they weren’t stupid. If they used something, chances are they had a good reason. There are exceptions, but plate armor is not one of them. 

Long Answer: 

For a type of armor, no matter what it is, to be considered effective, it has to meet three criteria. 

The three criteria are: Economic Efficiency, Protectiveness, and Mobility.

1. Is it Economically Efficient? 

Because of the nature of society in the Middle Ages, what with equipment being largely bring-it-yourself when it came to anybody besides arrowfodder infantry who’d been given one week of training, economic efficiency was a problem for the first couple of decades after plate armor was introduced in France in the 1360s. It wasn’t easy to make, and there wasn’t really a ‘science’ to it yet, so only the wealthiest of French soldiers, meaning knights and above, had it; unless of course somebody stole it off a dead French noble. The Hundred Years War was in full swing at the time, and the French were losing badly to the English and their powerful longbows, so there were plenty of dead French nobles and knights to go around. That plate armor was not very economically efficient for you unless you were a rich man, though, it also was not exactly what we would call “full” plate armor. 

Above: Early plate armor, like that used by knights and above during the later 1300s and early 1400s. 

Above: Two examples of what most people mean when they say “full” plate armor, which would have been seen in the mid to late 1400s and early 1500s.

Disclaimer: These are just examples. No two suits of armor were the same because they weren’t mass-produced, and there was not really a year when everybody decided to all switch to the next evolution of plate armor. In fact it would not be improbably to see all three of these suits on the same battlefield, as expensive armor was often passed down from father to son and used for many decades. 

Just like any new technology, however, as production methods improved, the product got cheaper. 

Above: The Battle of Barnet, 1471, in which everybody had plate armor because it’s affordable by then. 

So if we’re talking about the mid to late 1400s, which is when our modern image of the “knight in shining armor” sort of comes from, then yes, “full” plate armor is economically efficient. It still wasn’t cheap, but neither are modern day cars, and yet they’re everywhere. Also similar to cars, plate armor is durable enough to be passed down in families for generations, and after the Hundred Years War ended in 1453, there was a lot of used military equipment on sale for cheap. 

2. Is it Protective? 

This is a hard question to answer, particularly because no armor is perfect, and as soon as a new, seemingly ‘perfect’ type of armor appears, weapons and techniques adapt to kill the wearer anyway, and the other way around. Early plate armor was invented as a response to the extreme armor-piercing ability of the English longbow, the armor-piercing ability of a new kind of crossbow, and advancements in arrowhead technology. 

Above: The old kind of arrowhead, ineffective against most armor. 

Above: The new kind of arrowhead, very effective at piercing chainmaille and able to pierce plate armor if launched with enough power. 

Above: An arrow shot from a “short” bow with the armor-piercing tip(I think it’s called a bodkin tip) piercing a shirt of chainmaille. However, the target likely would have survived since soldiers wore protective layers of padding underneath their armor, so if the arrow penetrated skin at all, it wasn’t deep. That’s Terry Jones in the background. 

Above: A crossbow bolt with the armor piercing tip penetrating deep through the same shirt of chainmaille. The target would likely not survive. 

Above: A crossbow bolt from the same crossbow glancing off a breastplate, demonstrating that it was in fact an improvement over wearing just chainmaille. 

Unfortunately it didn’t help at all against the powerful English longbows at close range, but credit to the French for trying. It did at least help against weaker bows. 

Now for melee weapons. 

It didn’t take long for weapons to evolve to fight this new armor, but rarely was it by way of piercing through it. It was really more so that the same weapons were now being used in new ways to get around the armor. 

Above: It’s a popular myth that Medieval swords were dull, but they still couldn’t cut through plate armor, nor could they thrust through it. Your weapon would break before the armor would. Most straight swords could, however, thrust through chainmaille and anything weaker. 

There were three general answers to this problem: 

1. Be more precise, and thrust through the weak points. 

Above: The weak points of a suit of armor. Most of these points would have been covered by chainmaille, leather, thick cloth, or all three, but a sword can thrust through all three so it doesn’t matter. 

To achieve the kind of thrusting accuracy needed to penetrate these small gaps, knights would often grip the blade of their sword with one hand and keep the other hand on the grip. This technique was called “half-swording”, and you could lose a finger if you don’t do it right, so don’t try it at home unless you have a thick leather glove to protect you, as most knights did, but it can also be done bare-handed. 

Above: Examples of half-swording. 

2. Just hit the armor so fucking hard that the force carries through and potentially breaks bones underneath. 

Specialty weapons were made for this, but we’ll get to them in a minute. For now I’m still focusing on swords because I like how versatile the European longsword is. 

Above: A longsword. They’re made for two-handed use, but they’re light enough to be used effectively in one hand if you’d like to have a shield or your other arm has been injured. Longswords are typically about 75% of the height of their wielders.

Assuming you’re holding the sword pointing towards the sky, the part just above the grip is called the crossguard, and the part just below the grip is called the pommel. If you hold the sword upside-down by the blade, using the same careful gripping techniques as with half-swording, you can strike with either the crossguard or the pommel, effectively turning the sword into a warhammer. This technique was called the Murder Stroke, and direct hits could easily dent plate armor, and leave the man inside bruised, concussed, or with a broken bone. 

Above: The Murder Stroke as seen in a Medieval swordfighting manual.

Regular maces, hammers, and other blunt weapons were equally effective if you could get a hard enough hit in without leaving yourself open, but they all suffered from part of the plate armor’s intelligent design. Nearly every part of it was smooth and/or rounded, meaning that it’s very easy for blows to ‘slide’ off, which wastes a lot of their power. This makes it very hard to get a ‘direct’ hit. 

Here come the specialized weapons to save the day. 

Above: A lucerne, or claw hammer. It’s just one of the specialized weapons, but it encompasses all their shared traits so I’m going to only list it. 

These could be one-handed, two-handed, or long polearms, but the general idea was the same. Either crack bones beneath armor with the left part, or penetrate plate armor with the right part. The left part has four ‘prongs’ so that it can ‘grip’ smooth plate armor and keep its force when it hits without glancing off. On the right side it as a super sturdy ‘pick’, which is about the only thing that can penetrate the plate armor itself. On top it has a sharp tip that’s useful for fighting more lightly armored opponents. 

3. Force them to the ground and stab them through the visor with a dagger. 

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Many conflicts between two armored knights would turn into a wrestling match. Whoever could get the other on the ground had a huge advantage, and could finish his opponent, or force him to surrender, with a dagger. 

By now you might be thinking “Dang, full plate armor has a lot of weaknesses, so how can it be called good armor?” 

The answer is because, like all armor is supposed to do, it minimizes your target area. If armor is such that your enemy either needs to risk cutting their fingers to target extremely small weak points, bring a specialized weapons designed specifically for your armor, or wrestle you to the ground to defeat you, that’s some damn good armor. So yes, it will protect you pretty well.

Above: The red areas represent the weak points of a man not wearing armor.

Also, before I move on to Mobility, I’m going to talk briefly about a pet-peeve of mine: Boob-plates. 

If you’re writing a fantasy book, movie, or video game, and you want it to be realistically themed, don’t give the women boob-shaped armor. It wasn’t done historically even in the few cases when women wore plate armor, and that’s because it isn’t as protective as a smooth, rounded breastplate like you see men wearing. A hit with any weapon between the two ‘boobs’ will hit with its full force rather than glancing off, and that’ll hurt. If you’re not going for a realistic feel, then do whatever you want. Just my advice. 

Above: Joan of Arc, wearing properly protective armor. 

An exception to this is in ancient times. Female gladiators sometimes wore boob-shaped armor because that was for entertainment and nobody cared if they lived or died. Same with male gladiators. There was also armor shaped like male chests in ancient times, but because men are more flat-chested than women, this caused less of a problem. Smooth, rounded breastplates are still superior, though. 

3. Does it allow the wearer to keep his or her freedom of movement? 

Okay, I’ve been writing this for like four hours, so thankfully this is the simplest question to answer. There’s a modern myth that plate armor weighed like 700 lbs, and that knights could barely move in it at all, but that isn’t true. On a suit of plate armor from the mid to late 1400s or early 1500s, all the joints are hinged in such a way that they don’t impede your movement very much at all. 

The whole suit, including every individual plate, the chainmaille underneath the plates, the thick cloth or leather underneath the chainmaille, and your clothes and underwear all together usually weighed about 45-55 lbs, and because the weight was distributed evenly across your whole body, you’d hardly feel the weight at all. Much heavier suits of armor that did effectively ‘lock’ the wearer in place did exist, but they never saw battlefield use. Instead, they were for showing off at parades and for jousting. Jousting armor was always heavier, thicker, and more stiffly jointed than battlefield armor because the knight only needed to move certain parts of his body, plus being thrown off a horse by a lance–even a wooden one that’s not meant to kill–has a very, very high risk of injury.

Here’s a bunch of .gifs of a guy demonstrating that you can move pretty freely in plate armor. 

Above: Can you move in it? Yes.


Here are links to the videos that I made these .gifs from: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi757-7XD94

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhWFQtzM4r0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hlIUrd7d1Q

10

The Many Faces of Victor Nikiforov - Episode 12

As of today, it’s been one full year since Yuri!!! on Ice aired its final (first season) episode and while that saddens me, it also bring me joy because the experience was such a ride. And then going through the episodes from Victor’s perspective in this set has also been very enlightening to me as well.

But sentimentality out of the way, episode 12 was a roller coaster in and of itself. We see a couple of sides to Victor that we hadn’t seen pushed to the degree they had been and the idea that he is any kind of “god” is swiftly and firmly torn down and thrown out the window.

But rather than trying to sum up an episode in the intro, let’s delve right into the set itself. Enjoy!


Out of all the clips in the initial hotel scene, I decided to display the one that actually didn’t have any tears. We all know that he cried and we’ve seen every moment of it (I’m sure) multiple times over and in slow motion. But what I’d like to talk about is what impressions Yuuri’s declaration would have left with Victor and the shocked expression he displays here is the best visual representation I could find. Over the course of the series, Victor has learned to live and love and really put himself out there – not as a skater but as a person. By this point, he felt like he had finally reached a point where he could be happy. As he stated in episode 10, it wasn’t until he was able to get away from skating that he could think and really consider what he wants from his life. And he thought that maybe, just maybe, the world might be ready to let go of his skating because he’s certainly reached a point where he could finally hang up his skates and pursue the rest of his life. However, it seems like it just wasn’t time yet. Not only were he and Yuuri not on the same page this entire time but Victor naively thought that he could continue on as Yuuri’s coach while building a life outside of his skating and that the world would just let him go. But Yuuri, as someone here who represents not just himself but all of Victor’s fans as well, is not ready to simply let him fade out and retire. Victor is correct when he calls Yuuri selfish because the words he says along with the sentiment he imparts leave one strong message with Victor that we then see echo through the entire rest of the episode: the most important thing about you, to me, is your skating.

For this second gif, I want to revisit the concept of Victor’s media face. Every other time we’ve seen it before now, it’s been called up easily. He’d slip it on, smile at full power, and blind us all with his charisma. But here, even with years and years of practice, it has such obvious cracks. I couldn’t quite capture it in this gif but if you check the moments before and after then you’ll see in the way he walks that he has a definite weight on his shoulders and he just looks so… sad. The night in the hotel has obviously left a large burden on him and he’s clearly still thinking about it – to the point where he can’t even summon up the energy to put on his media face. Even in episode 1 during the GPF when (as we find out later) he was at an all-time low, he could still pull up that smile for the cameras. So, if nothing else, we can see just how much Yuuri’s words, and the sentiment that Victor took from them, has affected him.

For this third gif, let’s talk about parallels. My first thought when I saw this clip was that it looked very familiar – as it turns out, it’s almost exactly like episode 7 as they headed out to the rink; the only difference being that Yuuri is in a very different headspace (and hasn’t been crying beforehand). But what does that mean for Victor? Well, last time they prefaced a skate with this, he ended up taking a step forward with his life & love by kissing Yuuri on international TV. So suffice it to say that something big and life changing will most likely come from this program. All that and Victor is still upset with how their disagreement went down of course.

I love this fourth gif in the context of what Yuuri is saying to make Victor react this way. Since the beginning of this episode, Victor has reverted to a version of himself that we haven’t seen since episode 4 – the Victor that feels like his self-worth comes solely from his skating and that he’s required to put up a mask of whatever others need/want of him to be accepted and/or loved. As Victor feels like Yuuri told him in the hotel that Victor’s worth lays in his coaching, he decides that that’s what he’ll be for Yuuri. It feels like Victor took his initial sentiment from episode 4 (where he asks Yuuri what he would like Victor to be (what mask to wear)) and his line from episode 11’s kiss & cry (where he wonders what he can do to support Yuuri through the GPF) and combined them with his impression from the start of this episode. Victor feels like he’s got it all figured out. He can do masks, he’s been doing them forever, and if Yuuri needs him to be a coach then he can absolutely do that. But he quickly finds out that that impression wasn’t right either when Yuuri tells Victor that he just needs to be Victor. Thus the expression we see in the gif. And what’s the first thing Victor does when he lets down the mask? He unleashes some of his anger and hurt on Yuuri (“I walked away from what could have possibly been my final season skating and for what, this?”) before turning back to an expression of love as Victor smiles at and hugs Yuuri. Needless to say, I feel like this puts Victor in a very vulnerable position as he sends Yuuri off to go skate what could be both Yuuri’s final performance as a skater and Victor’s final program as a coach (to Yuuri).

This fifth gif is the culmination of every message Yuuri has tried to send Victor while skating this final program. As we can assume from the theme and pattern of the show, the messages got through (because these skaters seem to be able to understand the deep meaning behind skating programs better than explicit text). So what kind of feelings and impressions would Victor have now? Yuuri was saying that he wants to meet Victor as a challenger, that he wants to continue skating with Victor, and that Victor taking the time to coach Yuuri was not a waste. Victor is obviously touched by all of this. It brings up the topic of Victor wanting to find someone who could really challenge him in the arena of competitive skating, as he was undoubtedly lonely standing alone at the top. But it also brings back the initial impression that Yuuri re-introduced to Victor at the start of the episode; that his worth to Yuuri (and others) lays entirely in what he can provide in the arena of competitive skating.

This sixth gif is easily my favourite of the entire series and it’s earned that spot for being excessively fond but also very complicated and not what it seems on the surface. This is the moment where Victor makes his decision to return to skating. Not, as many might believe, immediately after Yuuri finishes his program but right here. He throws a comment out at Yuuri which underneath is actually a choice (this isn’t the first time he’s done this either). Victor is sitting on a fence. He wants two things, life and love. For life, he could continue on as a coach or branch out into other areas of the competitive figure skating scene, but would undoubtedly retire from competitive figure skating. As for love, he wants to stay with Yuuri and make him as happy as he can. Thus, in an attempt to achieve the latter with the possibility for also getting the former, he lets Yuuri make the call. Does he latch onto Victor’s pride as his coach or Victor’s fire as a competitor? As it turns out, Yuuri (unknowingly of the grand effect he has on Victor) chooses the second option, and so that’s what Victor decides to do. Many consider this choice to be a happy one but would Victor’s desires for a life off the ice really have changed so drastically from the scene in the hotel room where just the thought of having to trade Yuuri for it had him bursting into tears? In the end, as I watch the smile on Victor’s face slide off just slightly in this clip, I can’t help but think that this wasn’t the choice he would have made for himself.

For this seventh gif, we’re going to take a turn away from all the heavy emotions surrounding Victor’s future career/life prospects and look at his relationship with Chris. They say that Chris has been Victor’s biggest rival, but as we can see by the disparity of their scores in episode 1 (and considering that Victor even left out an element in his Stammi) the term is obviously used quite loosely. We know that from his conversations with Chris that they’re good friends but Chris doesn’t light a fire under Victor competitively the same way Yuuri or Yurio might. Chris is really good for sure, but he just isn’t up to Victor’s level. And we can also see how Victor feels about that when all of his expressions as he watches Chris skate in the GPF are happy and supportive with no complicated feelings; a contrast to the strong emotions he feels as he watches Yuuri and Yurio on the ice breaking his records. Chris tries throughout the season to bring Victor back to the ice; first he makes a program that is basically an attempt to one-up Yuuri’s Eros and pull Victor’s attention then by expressing confusion when Victor is acting in a way that feels out of character to him by not doing as expected. In the end, however, Chris ends up disappointed because he failed to bring Victor back to the ice by being a challenger in his own right and that upset shows in his reaction to Victor’s uncomplicated support for his skating (as seen in this gif).

For this eighth gif, I want to look at Victor’s relationship with physical touch. Throughout the series, we can notice a pattern where the only times Victor will touch another person is when they have initiated that kind of contact first (flirty touches only after Yuuri starts it at the banquet, hugs only after Yuuri starts it pre-Onsen on Ice, etc). One of the only exceptions is here where he grabs and hugs Yurio. This hug, I feel, holds a lot of complication emotions. Victor has been putting up a strong face for Yuuri because he didn’t want him to see that Victor’s not entirely on board with the decision to go back to skating. Even here, when Yurio presses on a soft point by asking if that means Yuuri will be retiring, the mask instantly drops and Victor hides it by initiating a hug that he tightens in the next moment in a desperate grasp for comfort. Victor has a hard time seeking out comfort in other people; being an introvert, he’s used to seeking it out on his own. But there are times when feelings overflow, and this is definitely one of them.

Aside from the very in-your-face beacon ring flare, I find Victor’s drastic shifts in emotional expressions in this scene to be particularly fascinating. He goes from savage to silly to serious to shocked to excited to proud all in the space of a single minute. This impossible-to-pin-down flow of emotions, I feel, is because he has a lot of feelings about everything he’s experienced since that night in the hotel and, in the end, they all just kind of burst out at once. The fact that his emotional regulator has shut down should already speak for how much Victor is really feeling but taking a step back and looking at the scene in the context of the journey Victor has been through in this episode alone is truly a lot more heartbreaking than this scene might have originally intended.

Regardless of the obvious emotional turmoil Victor has been through in this episode, everything leads to this final moment. A moment where Victor is greeting Yuuri as they reunite a few months after separating to pursue the rest of their competitive figure skating season; the fondness and love in his expression is undeniable and the joy at seeing Yuuri again is clear in his expression. No matter how Victor might feel about everything that happened during the GPF, in the end he’s left with exactly what we see here. I do believe that there will be more to delve into in the coming movie and going forward regarding Victor’s career, but for now we can end this series off on a positive note as Victor greets Yuuri in St. Petersburg and they take the next steps forward together.


I feel like this episode was definitely the most emotionally exhausting to write out of them all. As is probably obvious from the length, I have lots of feelings about this episode. Hopefully it was enlightening and I look forward to perhaps expanding on some of the topics I’ve covered in this 12 episode series into more fleshed out posts! Thank you everyone for taking this journey with me and I’ll see you all for Duetto!

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [Duetto]

Bonus because the way Victor grasps Yuuri’s hand before sending him off says so much without the need for words:

BTS reaction to you getting a tongue piercing [m]

Seokjin:

He would be so excited. Scratch that, he’d be fucking ecstatic when he felt your new jewellery tease the base of his cock. It’d take everything in him not to cum down your throat right then.

He’d make sure to show you how much he’s enjoying himself by the way his fell back, his beautiful Adam’s apple being more obvious in this position, tempting you to bite his neck, and his lips parted to let out a series of moans mixed with your name.

Originally posted by missbaptan

Yoongi:

You coming over to his studio just to be around him was nothing new. You deciding to help him relax by sucking him under the desk while he works was nothing new either.

What was new is feeling a cold piece of metal circling around the tip of his dick after you pressed gentle kisses up and down his shaft for 5 minutes.

His hands instantly flew to your head to help guide you in your ministration. While he can still concentrate on his work in normal circumstances, you clearly got his full attention now.

Originally posted by youngest-k

Hoseok:

He screamed a little when he felt the jewellery for the first time. What? You can’t just take a man by surprise like that! 

But he was quick to get in the feeling and move his hips so his tip was at the back of your throat and stop your giggles. He kept going like this until he felt his orgasm approaching and pushed you of so he could release into your opened mouth.

“You look so pretty like that” “What if I get one as well, hmm? Would you like to feel what it’s like baby?”

Originally posted by jkookisdaddy

Namjoon:

He wouldn’t be surprised by this but that doesn’t mean he would enjoy it any less.

Unlike most of the times, when he’d take control and fuck your mouth, he let you take your time teasing his throbbing cock seeing that you enjoy that as much as he is.

“You really know how to get me to do whatever you want, don’t you, kitten?” “Now it’s my turn to pleasure my baby”

Originally posted by just-namjooned

Jimin:

Keeping his composure no matter what was something he was proud of. But this was something new to him, and he didn’t know how to react.

It’s not like he could let loose and be vocal about it since you thought the best place to show him what you did earlier in the day was the restroom… of the restaurant he took you to eat dinner. All he could do was bite his plump lower lip to stifle the sinful moans that were about to fill the otherwise quite bathroom and wait until you got home so he could punish you for putting him through this.

Taehyung:

You came by his apartment pretty late so you two decided to just go to sleep. Because of this he still hasn’t noticed your new piercing. When you woke up the next morning to a moaning boyfriend in the middle of a wet dream you figured that that was the best moment to let him know.

It took him a couple of minutes to wake up and figure out what was pressing against his dick, but once he did he couldn’t hold back. With a quick warning in case you didn’t want him to cum in your mouth, he spilled his seed in your warm mouth.

Jungkook:

Any kind of shame was thrown out the window when he felt your skilled wet muscle licking the length of his shaft. It wasn’t anything unusual for him to turn into a whining and whimpering mess whenever you pleasure him, but the new piercing you just got really pushed him over the edge.

This resulted into numerous nights of endless teasing from you and although he’d never admit to you just how much he enjoyed it, his body language was enough to send the message across.

Originally posted by jkookisdaddy

🌸Masterlist🌸

jet-playin  asked:

Hi! Do you know of any fics where Harry and Draco are both Aurors and have to work together? I've read quite a few but haven't come across one in a while. Either permanently partners or firced together for a single case, both work for me. (Note: I have read everything by l0vegl0wsinthedark so, much as I love reading and rereading What Real Thing, I figured it would better to warn you :D Thank you so much for all of your recs, they are so, unspeakably helpful! :)

(Thank you @celticrose1989​ and @awesomesauceuniverse​ for the requests!! I decided to combine these, since fics in which only Draco is an auror/cursebreaker are pretty rare. I was planning to also combine this with a request for just Auror!Harry (with miscellaneous Draco) to make a giant Auror Drarry list, but it ended up being ridiculously long, so that one will come later this weekend! This one is already super long as-is, so I’ve tried to limit my commentary to 2-3 lines. Let it be known that it was very difficult, hahaha.)

Auror/Cursebreaker Partner Drarry Recs

What Real Thing? by loveglowsinthedark / @l0vegl0wsinthedark (13K)- They don’t cuddle, they don’t talk about their relationship (or lack thereof) and they certainly never fall asleep in each other’s arms.
I know you’ve already read it, but you can’t expect me to just not include this amazing sexy pining fluffy piece of wonderfulness in my auror rec list!!! It includes the BEST AIRPORT SCENE (not at an airport) EVER.

Higher and Higher (Temptation) by birdsofshore (28.5K)- Only Harry Potter could manage to put on a magical collar on impulse and find himself unable to take it off again. Now following Draco’s direct orders gives him intense pleasure, and Draco has a whole heap of troubles to deal with, not least the way Potter looks when the collar has him gasping with bliss. The whole situation would test the morals of a saint… and Draco’s no saint.
THIS FIC!! EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED. I STILL REMEMBER CLICKING ON IT AND NEARLY ORGASMING RIGHT THERE and it totally does its description justice! Technically Draco is a cursebreaker here.

Two Weeks by shiftylinguini / @shiftylinguini (22K)- If Harry had to guess which out of he or his Auror Partner, and tentative new friend, Draco Malfoy, would turn out to have Veela ancestry, his answer would be: neither, because that is ridiculous. Finding out the answer is actually him, and that his Veela heritage is wreaking havoc on his ability to work, sleep, and above all be in the same room as Malfoy, is a surprise to say the least. But this is fine. Harry’s been through worse, and he can just sit this one out, regardless of how much his body is screaming for the one person he doesn’t want to ask for help. Can’t he?
WONDERFUL FABULOUS YES TIMES 96382!! Veela!Harry but like, read it even if that’s not usually your thing. GREAT pining!!! Phone sex. P H O N E S E X.

Lift Your Open Hand by firethesound / @firethesound (19K)- With Draco Malfoy as his assigned partner for the next six weeks of Auror training, Harry had been prepared for things to go poorly. But getting themselves accidentally bonded to each other in the first twenty minutes of their very first assignment seemed going above and beyond, even for them.
What could you possibly need that isn’t in this fic? Includes bonding, domesticity, bed sharing, and Nicolas Cage. Perfection <3

Sex on Legs in Six-Inch Heels by tessacrowley / @tessacrowley (10K)- Draco Malfoy is a brilliant freelance cursebreaker and the only one who can help the Department of Magical Law Enforcement with a very dangerous case, but more importantly, he’s wearing six-inch heels, and Harry cannot handle it, he really just can’t.
One of the first fics I read and STILL one of the hottest! The sex is amazing, as is the fact that Draco wears (surprisingly practical!) heels and women’s clothing in general I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Highlands by Seefin / @seefin (16K)- The tent was a joke, that was basically the only explanation he could come up with as to why the Aurors would send he and Draco on a several-month mission with only their most basic model. Once, when Harry had been on one of the big ones, the kind of mission where there was a little Auror camp out in the wilderness, twenty or so tents all pitched practically on top of each other, he had slept in one with two stories. Actually it was more of a mezzanine level, but still. Their current one didn’t even have a fucking toilet. And if Harry were allowed to communicate with anyone other than Draco then he would definitely be lodging an official complaint right about now.
This fic is so sweet and slow (despite being only 16K, idk how she does it!). I love the development of their relationship, and being forced into close quarters is especially w o n d e r f u l.

Little Talks by femmequixotic and noeon / @femmequixotic and @noeeon (11.5K)- Draco’s been shagging the Head Auror for months now, and he’s sure it’s just a fling. Until Harry asks him to a Quidditch match, that is, and things go horribly wrong.
AAAH THE SEX. Also the adorableness! And the whatthefuckishappening a real DATE??? But THE SEX! And the fluff! Sorry I’m incoherent, just READ IT!

Something More by thusspakekate (9K)- After a night of heavy drinking, Harry Potter has a love bite the size of Wales on his neck and an unsigned note from the man who gave it to him in his pocket. The only problem? He can’t quite remember who he brought home with him the night before. And what’s got Draco Malfoy in such a strop?
OMG pining in this one like crazy. It’s obvious why from the summary, right?? Yeah? Just….you’re already feeling the angst, I know it, just read it and let it be resolved <3

One Big Misunderstanding by agentmoppet / @agentmoppet (7K)- Draco will be the first to admit that his choices aren’t particularly clever, especially when they involve Potter, but this has to be the worst one yet.
OH, DRACO. Poor baby sends Harry and Blaise off on a date together and then becomes a jealous wreck and it’s beautiful.

You Send Me (Honest You Do) by firethesound (37K)- As far as potion accidents go in general, and deaging incidents go in particular, Draco knew this could have been so much worse. Harry only lost about ten years, and all his memories are still intact. But the sight of him looking as if he’s stepped straight out of Draco’s Hogwarts memories has dredged up a whole mess of complicated feelings Draco thought he’d buried years ago, and Draco really doesn’t know what to do with any of it.
This is a GREAT use of the deaging trope (without being at all creepy btw, so don’t worry!), and Harry has tattoooooos!! Also more pining pining pining <3 And great writing as always from this amazing author.

Tales from the Special Branch Series by femmequixotic (304K so far)- When Gavin Robards asks him to form Special Branch seven-four-alpha, Harry Potter knows they’ll have to work outside the confines of the law–even though they are the law.
Are you tired of me reccing this series yet? TOO BAD I’LL NEVER STOP MUAHAHA. This list just wouldn’t be complete without it! Who could ever tire of Draco fucking Harry, his senior officer???? NOT ME!!

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound (150K)- Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.
Another fic I’ve recced over and over because IT’S THE QUINTESSENTIAL BEST EVER CLASSIC AUROR PARTNER FIC IN MY OPINION so it literally cannot be missing from this list.

It’s the Love of the Chase (That Created the Ride) by lumosed_quill (14K)- Draco and Harry are new Auror partners. It’s a bit dull. Until they finally see some spell action and things get a lot more interesting (in Draco’s pants).
Basically adrenalin rushes from cases make Harry and Draco crave sex and it’s amazing 

One Harry Potter Please (If Possible, Seduced and Ready) by faithwood (62K)- All Draco wants is Harry Potter’s friendship, just to make his new Auror job more bearable. However, after Harry stubbornly pays more attention to his secret admirer, Draco is forced to resort to drastic measures.
So nearly all long-term-auror-partner fics have flangst because how could they not?? But this one stands out to me as being the FLANGSTIEST (this is a word now) EVER. Like an adorable idiot, Draco impersonates Harry’s secret admirer.

The Kaleidoscope Charm, or 50 Shades of Rainbow Magic by Omi_Ohmy (27K)- Getting Draco Malfoy as a boss was not the worst thing that happened to Harry; getting a crush on him was.
Auror!Harry is assigned to work with Draco (of the Curse and Lock Breaking Dept). Also he owns a giant angel statue that looks just like him. ;D

Like Diamonds We Are Cut With Our Own Dust by raitala (11K)- Draco has borne the mark of the Dark Lord for over ten years. It is familiar to him, but he pays the price for it every day, and Harry has noticed.
This fic is just so cool. It’s based on “that picture” by alekina, which I coincidentally reblogged just yesterday and is amazing and HARRY REMOVES DRACO’S DARK MARK YEP

Whoo Knew? by oceaxe (19K)- Despite having had a crush on his Auror partner for years, Draco’s been biding his time and waiting for the perfect opportunity to make his case. But when Harry subscribes to a new wizarding personals service, Draco gets a wake-up call. With new each message that arrives for Harry from a hopeful suitor, it becomes more and more clear that the time to act has arrived.
MORE AUROR PARTNERS BEING RIDICULOUS PINING IDIOTS UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE, BUT THEY DO IT ALL SO CUTELY. And with owls this time!!

blindiemac  asked:

So I've been thinking about the retirement au a lot today (work has been slow...) and I was thinking. Yuuri strikes me as the kind of man not to talk about his accomplishments, but he will gush about his friends. Like, "My friend Phichit just won Gold at the Four Continents!" "Chris was so good at the European Championships!" "My unofficial son Yurio just won at Worlds!" things like that. I imagine him talking about these things, but like his friends don't know he really knows these (cont.)

(Cont.) people. Like they think the beautiful, untouchable, hot Yuri Katsuki-Nikiforov is just like a massive fanboy for figure skating (which, true he is, but he’s also been known as Japan’s Ace so…) and think it is just a cute little character quirk that makes him even more adorable. After all, his friends are not into skating so they have no idea who these people are. They do however know Yuuri is gay (or at least bi) because he regularly refers to this guy Viktor as his husband (apparently he’s some big shot figure skater that Yuuri has the cutest little (massive) crush on, can you even believe how cute this guy is?). But Yuuri isn’t really married because he would wear a ring on his left finger if he was, like come on. It all comes to a head like it does in your retirement au by Yuuri being recognized by fans, with some added hilarity of “I talk about my figure skating friends all the time?" 

"We thought you were just a really big fan!" 

"I talk about my husband all the time?" 

"Yeah and Jenny talks about her rock star "wife” all the time too!“ 

"wait, you’re not really married?" 

Bc of course Yuuri would not find it weird to be married to a rock star. He married Viktor Nikiforov after all. (fin.) 

*Dead*

HOLY SHIT THIS IS BEAUTIFUL????

And completely and utterly plausible omg. Because that is literally exactly the kind of language we use here on tumblr XDD Even I call my favs as my sons or daughters, or how I call JJ as the king of my heart.

Wowow, okay, so the only plot hole in this au has been filled, we finally have a good explanation for why Yuuri’s friends don’t know he’s married!!! This is totally canon…in my headcanon XD

But then also can you imagine when his friends do finally find out that the person Yuuri has been calling his husband all this time is actually his husband, they insist on getting to meet him.

Except maybe that week Skate America is going on or whatever.

So all these famous skaters are in the US, and Otabek’s competing too. And Yura wants to spend some time with the bff, so Yuuri and Viktor decide to have a house party after the competition is over.

And Yuuri’s college friends are invited over.

And they get there, and they just kinda stare around at everyone like OAO

Because they’re all lowkey terrified and highkey intimidated because???? This party is basically a who’s who of the figure skating world??? Their little Yuuri knows and is comfortable with so many celebrities? Their little Yuuri IS a celebrity!!!!! This is more famous people than they’d ever thought they’d meet in one place!!!

But before the night is over, they’ve loosened up and gotten to know the skaters. Chris is probably missing his pants. Yuuri has a bottle or two of champagne in him (nevermind the fact that those two bottles probably cost more than any of his friends make in a month). And you know Phichit has told a very attentive crowd the full story of how Viktor and Yuuri met, in detail. Never mind the fact that Phichit wasn’t even at that banquet in the first place, and he himself had gotten the story, heavily embellished, from Chris.

WARS OF THE STARS

So ya homegirl finally saw the last jedi and oh, there are THOUGHTS to be HAD below the cut for spoiler purposes but guys. GUYS.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I've seen you say a couple times that you don't see or that you're disabled. Do you mind talking about it? I ask because I am an aspiring writer and it is really hard for me. I wanted to know how you managed or what it was like?

I don’t mind talking about it. It’s something that made me who I am.

When I was about 12, my health sort of started to eat itself. I suddenly had a ton of allergies, and there were days I couldn’t get out of bed. I got sick all the time. In freshman year of high school, I suddenly couldn’t see. For a long time a thing had been going on in my eyes, but I guess I didn’t think it was abnormal until it made it impossible for me to see. Basically this hole was kind of growing in my eyes, but it was more like a rainbow.

When I started having trouble with colors and detail vision, my mom freaked out a bit, because at the time, I was an award winning artist who had ideas of going to college for art. Then I started tripping over things, hitting my head, having trouble with depth perception. Then I got sick, and I mean sick.

I spent about 23 hours a day in bed. I had almost constant migraines. I had pain in my entire body. My skin turned yellow. I went to every kind of doctor you can think of and was tested for everything there is. One day, I had about 12 vials of blood drawn. No one knew what was wrong. The eyes weren’t that big a deal at first, because it seemed like I might have something really serious. The first couple of eye doctors I went to kind of looked at me and said “Oh it’s nothing big.” I actually had one guy tell me that my brain was just shutting off my eyes because I wasn’t using them properly. Yeah.

Then finally, my mom took me to a friend of our family who happened to be an eye surgeon. She did a free exam. I’ll never forget it because it was the first time anyone believed me. I’d been told by doctor after doctor that there was nothing wrong with me. I’d been referred to therapists, told I needed depression meds, told I was just going through a phase or needed attention. Then this doctor put on her head gear, looked into my eyes…took off the head gear…got new head gear…looked into my eyes…took off the headgear…got hand held tools…looked into my eyes…and then stared at me with her mouth hanging open.

“I can’t see the back of your eye,” she said. And suddenly the world simultaneously healed itself and flipped upside-fucking-down for me.

Then it was all about my eyes, the one symptom we could see happening. The one that was the most dangerous. But by then it was too late.

What happened is pretty simple: I apparently have some weird recessive DNA. It triggers certain bizarre immune issues at puberty. My immune system decided to attack my body. The eyes are a delicately balanced system. They show symptoms first. My immune system attacked them with a vengeance. They swelled up like balloons. Normal eye pressure is about 14-17. Mine was at a 22 at its best. It put a tremendous amount of pressure on my Retina, specifically my macula, cutting off blood flow like when you sit on your foot. You know those little shadowy things that float across your eyes? They’re called protein floaters. My eyes had produced so many of those that the doctor could not see through them. It was a fog.

They had to find a way to map my eye, to track the damage. Cue the eye exam from hell. I have always been, even before my autoimmune disorder, deathly allergic to melon. Any kind of melon. But now I was allergic to all sorts of shit, fruits vegetables, all kinds of crap. My dad is allergic to contrast dyes. So when the retinologist suggested this dye-based eye exam that is kind of like a CAT scan, my mom said “no”. See, they inject you with this dye and then they flash this weird light in your eyes. It causes the dye to glow, and then they can see the things through the fog. My mom told them I was too sensitive to stuff for that to be safe. The doc assured her they’d put a butterfly in my arm, meaning the vein would be kept open, and a syringe of benedryl was set on the counter. They’d never had anyone react, and they needed the pictures or there was nowhere to go from there.

So they put this dye into me, and it was like I’d been injected with fire, but there was no way around it, and to me, I knew they only had about 90 seconds to get the images they needed. So I sucked it up. finally the burning began to spread. Suddenly my back felt like I was being stabbed, and I suddenly couldn’t speak. I tapped my hands on my mom, then began sneezing spontaneously. My mom lifted my shirt, and I had quarter-sized hives. The nurse said “Stop sneezing on the camera”. Yeah.

My mom went ballistic. The doctor flew up the stairs and gave me the emergency meds. I slid into a dissociation state and nearly out of my chair. They had to prop me against the camera for the next couple minutes and reinject the dye. No other way, you see.

They did this test every few months for a few years.

But then there was treatment. Not much they could do, except try to get the swelling under control. Only way to do that was corticosteroid injections in the eye. Yup. A needle in the eye. No, they don’t knock you out. They numb the surface of the eye with the same numbing drops they give you for the exams and then they come at you with a needle, tell you to look down and to hold still. And you fucking do.

I was 15 when that started.

I went to experimental clinics, labs, and joined studies. I dropped out of those. Why? It’s pretty simple. The first day I came to the exams, I was kept waiting for over two hours. I was taken into a room. I was left there. No information, no talking. Suddenly a man came in followed by a group of people, all in lab coats. He started moving me around like I was a doll and talking like, “The patient presents with…the patient this, the patient that…”

I shoved him back and said, “The patient’s name is Kristina, and she is 16.”

He finished his exam, and when he left, after the students had gone, he took two Q-tips, dipped them in that pink shit your dentist uses to swab your gums before an injection, and SHOVED them under my eyelids with a cocky smirk.

The patient will never be an snotty little bitch again, I guess.

So yeah. Fuck those guys. They gave me two injections in one day, which no one had ever done before, because it was almost impossible to function with two pimple-like bubbles on your eyeballs.

Still my health was bad. Then all of a sudden, when my mom had given up, It just wasn’t anymore. Suddenly, I was fine, and all that was left were the eyes. I went back to school, except now I was blind.

In a few months, I’d lost about 80% of my perfect vision. I was photophobic. I got horrible and constant headaches. I walked with a cane. And not a single fucking teacher believed me, except my civics teacher, who had gone blind at a young age due to some other weird eye disorder, and my physics teacher who was deaf. I had teachers send me to the office for wearing my sunglasses (with a note on file). I had teachers get on my case about having an audio recorder and CD player for my books. I had teachers call me names, make fun of me, make me leave class to photocopy their notes larger, so that I missed the lecture the notes were on. I had teachers take my medications which had to be in my possession because of their time-sensitive nature and constant administration and hide them in their desks as punishment for asking questions or demanding help. I had classmates pick on me, but luckily, I was well-liked, and I was an officer in the ROTC. I even excelled there in spite of my vision, because my Captain believed in my leadership skills.

I always tell this story because I think it is funny. We had this special boot camp we got to go to if we were in the upper ranks of the ROTC. If you joined the military after high school (which I could never do) you got a higher paygrade for having gone through it. Almost like taking a couple JC classes in the military. It was grueling and all physical fitness, obstacle courses, PT, classes, guard duty…fucking blah. Our unit was allowed six participants. I sort of figured that it wasn’t really fair for me to go, even with my high rank (a company XO). To my complete fucking shock, my Captain recommended me to go, cutting out a classmate (and ex) of mine who was higher in rank. The boy went ape-shit. He went on and on about how unfair it was. He even went to the school board. My Captain made his reasons clear; he told them that the academy isn’t about military sponsorship. It’s about skills and quality. He didn’t care if I had a disability. In his eyes I had more innate ability than anyone there because I had worked so hard just to be where I was. The boy was angry. I told my Captain I appreciated the gesture, but honestly, we ought to make it fair. I told him that we should train to meet the PT standards, and that if this kid could make his, but i couldn’t make mine, he should go. I made mine. He didn’t. He complained about that too. At the last minute, we were told one extra person could come because another school had lost one. So he came anyway. The whole time he bitched about me being there. When I got there, the real military officers gave me shit like you wouldn’t believe, because they weren’t used to dealing with disabilities or recognizing that they can’t discriminate against high schoolers by law. The commander of the unit tried to dress me down in front of everybody for wearing sunglasses. I was pretty pleased with myself for telling him off but still sounding respectful. He kept saying “Take off my glasses”. I told him they weren’t his. They were mine, by law, and that if he had a problem with that, he could consult my attorney, the DOJ, and the doctor who prescribed them. He tried to fuck with me. I didn’t say anything except to ask him if he wanted me to have a migraine, because that’s what taking the glasses off means. He was so confused by me he walked away and called my Captain over. There were words. After that, he came up to me once or twice, almost like a test, to ask me if I needed him to slow down or if I was getting around alright. He wasn’t being nice. He was egging me in a condescending tone and with very bullying language. He’s a drill instructor, and you know what, that’s his job. I told him I was fine. But I made a decision: I wasn’t just going to make the female PT marks. I was going to test out of this fucking place at the male PT marks. And I fucking did. That boy…had an asthma attack on the track (I had asthma too, but I worked my ass off while he coasted on his “boyness”) and failed. At the certificate ceremony, the commander came up to me and said I had really impressed him, and that it was a shame I couldn’t enter the Navy. I thanked him, but what I wanted to say was, “Go fuck yourself and take the NAVY with you”. I ended up the Battalion XO Senior year. This would have given me a guaranteed spot in Westpoint if I could have taken it. My Captain cried when he told me he was sorry he had to give it to one of our Company XO’s. I told him that it was best for everyone, because I am not the type of person to enjoy taking orders. I had learned that about myself.

He laughed.

Around Junior year I got people to pay attention. My doctors got the DOJ and the Social Security people involved. A woman came to my school and enforced compliance in a tone of voice I’d never heard anyone but my mother use. She threatened to rain brimstone down on them if they didn’t give me what I needed, and things changed.

My parents wanted me to take a full scholarship to a local school, but I wanted to get away. So I did. I wanted to travel abroad, so i did. And when I was 19, they perfected one of the surgeries they had been working on the entire time I’d been struggling with this.

See, the injections had brought and kept the swelling down, but that meant that the fog was still there (since ocular fluid doesn’t replace), and the structures in the eye had been stretched all to shit, and were laying in my eye like melted plastic wrap. The old surgery was like a blind man hacking with a machete, but the new surgery used fluorescent dyes to track movement. Dyes that wouldn’t kill me. The old surgery had a 50-50 shot at complete loss of vision and made you lay on your face for three weeks. The new was fool proof and took 45 minutes. So, I got one eye done. They swapped out all the fluid and replaced it with saline. They peeled the distorted membrane off the macula. They stitched up my eyeball and gave me a sick metal eye patch. Looked like a fucking space pirate. It was rad.

But the blind spot is still there. The cataracts caused by the steroids are still there. The scars are there.

A few years later I had the other one done too.

My college was great. It took a lot of work getting all my reading done, about 500 pages minimum, per week, done via audio. I used to spend hours at the pool table in our residence hall, listening to my books and practicing. I got pret damn good too, at pool. It was difficult taking notes or working with a note taker. It was scary traveling by myself. It was hard to get people to understand there wasn’t anything WRONG with me. Just that my eyes don’t work even though it seems like I’m normal and fine, and like they should. People always think to be legally blind you have to be completely blind, and they think you’re not going to be able to defend yourself. I’ve been targeted by pickpockets. I’ve been followed by scary dudes. I’ve been treated like shit, laughed at, and accused by full grown adults of faking to get privileges, all because I can look at the place where their head should be and smile at the blank spot there. All because I can walk down a flight of stairs with a few neat tricks I know that have nothing to do with a cane.

But shit…you probably didn’t mean to ask for my life story. I’m going to get back to the point. My writing. What has it done for that? Like how can you be a writer if you can’t fucking see? Technology. It’s been amazing. I can use a computer same as anyone. The Kindle has been a fucking revolution for me because for the first time in a decade and a half I could read without pain and suffering. Just…all the things it does have made life so much easier than it used to be. It got me out of bad relationships with people who used my disability as a control. It gave me a little bit of confidence back. It helped me know I could handle myself.

And really, I think my vision loss had a lot to do with my writing. In some ways it gives me different perspective, sure, but it’s more than that. I was undeclared when I entered college. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I thought about history or sociology. My mom had a degree in that and she was an English teacher. I wanted art history, but what the fuck was the point in that? Couldn’t see a damn thing. And then I had a class in poetry, and shit…That made sense. I’d always loved language and writing. Always been okay at it. Dorte stuff but never thought about doing it for a living. But then it was like yeah…yeah I’m gonna fucking do that. Just like when I decided to meet the male PT standards.

If it is in you. If you love it. If it defines you and possesses you, it does not matter how fucked up you are. You will find a way. You don’t have a choice. You are that thing. And you’ll adapt. You just have to let yourself. You have to keep pushing. You have to learn how to handle frustration. you have to train yourself into stamina. You just keep going. I’m nowhere near as successful as I want to be. I’m still going. I hope I get even better. I hope I can say things that make truth more obvious, or that help people put words to things they have always wanted to say.

I don’t need my eyes to be a fucking firestorm. That’s just me. Eyes don’t mean shit.

So keep going. Keep doing whatever you need to. Do it better and better. Bend yourself around it. People who see you struggle will think they’re lucky, but you and I know the truth: they’re not even close to the kind of strong you are. Not even a little bit.

anonymous asked:

Hi! Your theories got me like "daaamn these are so good" and I've been thinking about it for days but what do you think about the pre-Kerberos period of time? What about Keith and Shiro meeting each other? What about the time spent together before Keith's hopes were crushed by a "pilot error"?

Oh, I love speculating about their relationship prekerberos. It’s really interesting, because the nature of it is kept in the dark most of the time. We only ever seem to get glimpses here and there. But, from what we know: when they’re stranded together, Shiro’s surprised Keith remembered Patience yields focus–That really stayed with you, didn’t it?” And he looks so incredibly touched by it, you can see how much it really means to him. As for Keith, his response comes easy, “You’ve given me some good advice. If it wasn’t for you, my life would have been a lot different.” So we know whatever impact Shiro had, it was incredibly significant. He’s apparently been there for Keith when no one else has, offering words of comfort and helping to guide him through hard times. 

I think we can all infer “Patience yields focus,” is something from their garrison days, and probably a mantra Keith got very used to hearing. He also very much internalized this–and likely a lot of other things Shiro said. That advice Shiro gave meant something to him, the fact that he took the time to be there for Keith when no one else would quite literally changed his life

Guidebook says Shiro and Matt graduated a few years before Kerberos, so Shiro was an officer by then. But he was still around the garrison when he wasn’t running missions. So I suppose at first, it could’ve been that Shiro was trying to mentor Keith. He saw a cadet who had a lot of promise but maybe had a hard time playing by the rules or staying focused. Or maybe he sees that Keith doesn’t have anyone in his corner–can’t seem to make friends and is always off on his own. So Shiro decides to take him under his wing. 

But I really want to stress that, however Shiro’s interest in Keith started, I don’t think he by any means saw Keith as some kind of charity project. Keith isn’t someone who lets others feel sorry for him, and he sure as hell won’t play the victim. I can see him really pushing Shiro away at first, insisting he doesn’t need anyone–that he’s always been his own and he’s doing just damn fine, thank you. Keith is someone who carves his own path, and I don’t think he’d take well to whatever help Shiro offered. He doesn’t need help. Never has. 

So it starts slow. Shiro tentatively joining Keith at the commissary or offering to train with him in the sim. Studying together turns into sparring together and late night sim sessions where Keith breaks record after record. He’s good, better than anyone else Shiro’s ever seen. But it’s not long before what they have isn’t just a one-way thing. Keith approaches Shiro on his own and is always eager to see him. He starts opening up bit by bit, and pretty soon everything he feels is a flooded dam and he just bursts.

Keith’s always been touch averse, but the next time Shiro goes to shake his hand Keith pulls him into a hug. He doesn’t ever want to let go. The passing touches here and there start to linger–a hand on Keith’s shoulder or a pat on the back, their hands clasped before they come together. Keith’s never known this kind of intimacy, so cloying, sweet relief. Because we know Keith freezes up at anyone else’s touch, but when Shiro reaches for him he just melts. 

We know from Joaquim that, “[Keith] latches onto Shiro at times because Shiro’s sort of the only thing that can really calm him down and keep him in check.” (source). Josh has also said, “[Keith’s] constantly scared he’s gonna say or do something wrong and he’s gonna lose Shiro.” (source). So we know Shiro is very much Keith’s anchor, the one person that can truly calm him down and help him stay centered. We know that Keith latches onto him, desperately clinging to that source of comfort and reassurance, for the safety and solace Shiro provides. 

We also know this is in part linked to his galran heritage, that Keith’s emotions are volatile and oppressive. Lauren has said that his emotions are, “kind of exasperated by the fact that Shiro’s gone. Like he’s having a hard time dealing with [Shiro’s loss], he doesn’t really know how to feel. And I think he just goes back to that inner part of himself where it’s just—he can’t control his emotions. And that comes from the galra side.” (source

And we’ve seen through how Honerva “softened” Zarkon that galra tend to look for partners who can help them manage that intensity, who are able to soothe the sheer overwhelming pain of those emotions. For Keith, Shiro was that partner. The only one. And when he loses that safety? He falls apart. I’m willing to bet the same thing happened after Kerberos–considering he was kicked out, wondered off to the desert feeling “lost,” desperately searching for some new  sense of purpose until–“Then you showed up.”

He’s an orphan. He hasn’t seen his parents in years. If they kick him out of the garrison, he’s got nowhere else to go. The other cadets are likely either jealous of him or hate him. The other officers won’t give him the time of day. Everyone in his life’s already written him off as a lost cause, but not you, Shiro, never you, please don’t leave me too–“Shiro is the one person who never gave up on me. I won’t give up on him.”

So, yes. Whatever Keith and Shiro had prekerberos, by the time Shiro left, they were already incredibly close. And we know this sort of affection wasn’t one-sided either. I know a lot of people tend to believe Keith’s depth of feeling for Shiro isn’t reciprocated, but that’s not the case at all. Yes, Keith latched onto Shiro, thought of him as his greatest hope–saw losing him as his deepest fear. But I believe the feeling is entirely mutual. Because, when Shiro was about to takeoff? The person he brought to the launch wasn’t his family or even another officer. It was Keith. Out of everyone at the garrison, Keith was the one he was closest to, the one he wanted to see him off. 

The truth is, Shiro also has his own walls. Even after spending a 6 month mission with him and having graduated in the same year, Matt is reluctant to approach Shiro, calling him sir. You don’t see that level of casual intimacy there. And Shiro has never once expressed any desire to return to Earth or reunite with his family, even after being gone for a year. Even knowing his family and friends would’ve been told he was dead. I believe he must have been estranged from his family. And as for friends, I imagine a lot of people thought they were Shiro’s friends at the garrison, that he was beloved and revered as a hero. But I think Shiro still kept them all at a distance. Everyone except for Keith.

It’s why Shiro wanted to spend his last moments with him before he left, wanted to take the chance to properly say goodbye. It’s why Joaquim said, “Keith and Shiro have the closest relationship, so there is that kinship there,” and Lauren added that, “And I think the Black Lion probably got from Shiro what Shiro saw in Keith.” (source). It’s why Shiro has fallen into this habit of pulling Keith aside and checking in with him whenever he’s worried. It’s why Shiro’s not at all surprised to see that Keith was the one who rescued him, the reason he asked “How did you know to come save me when I crashed?” instead of “Why?” Because Shiro knew without a doubt, if anyone would chase after him, always be there for him, it was Keith

Tired Of Being Alone

Part Two

Masterlist

You didn’t notice anything at first. Initially, you had just thought that he was stressed or tired due to all of his hard work and long days at the studio. You didn’t want to think too much into it. It took you a while, but finally saw how different he had become. He wasn’t the same person you fell for a few short months ago. He was colder, more distant than ever. You’d hoped that it was just a phase he was going through and that he would be back to normal in no time. However as the weeks came and went and those weeks turned into months, you realized that you were wrong, that Harry had become a completely different person.

It was hard to pinpoint the exact moment where everything had changed. It wasn’t that one day he woke up and a switch was flipped, making him turn into someone who was closed off and acted bitter towards you when he was usually so kindhearted and loving. No, it was nothing like that. Rather, it was the build up- the subtle changes that were exactly that, differences that were too small to notice. And when you finally realized he wasn’t the same, all you could do was make excuses for him, for the sake of your relationship.

He slowly stopped writing sweet notes to you before he left for the studio in the early hours of the morning. Which you concluded to be him being excited to get back to work, rushing out of your house as quickly as possible to get back to writing. Then, the usual texts and calls throughout the day became less frequent until they stopped altogether. This you put down as him being busy. You two began to bicker and fight a lot more than you used to, which you put down as you going through the “bumpy stage” of the relationship. Despite this, after a while, you had a hard time coming with reasons as to why your relationship with Harry was going down the drain, and it was even more difficult to try to salvage it.

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Eren’s Motivations

There’s a lot of talk going on in the fandom about Eren in the latest chapters. And, as all my regular readers know, Eren is hands down my favorite character. So I decided to weight in.

The thing about Eren is that even from the beginning he had a bigger picture in mind.

Sure, these are the words of a child who does not yet fully understand the world around him. But if we fast forward just a little to Trost, I’d like to bring up one of my favorite soliloquies of Eren’s as it’s been such an awfully long time since it’s happen:

Armin: Why did you want to go to the outside world, Eren?

Eren: When we’re born…all of us…are free. People who reject that, no matter how strong they are…don’t matter. The burning water, the land of ice…anything will do. Anyone who saw those things…would be the freest person in the world. Fight!! Who’d value their life… over something like that? It doesn’t matter how terrifying the world is. It doesn’t matter how cruel the world is. Fight!! Fight!! FIGHT!! (Vol 4, Ch 14)

Eren is the type of person who, at his core, believes in an ideal of freedom for all. Yes, this is before he knows the truth about the walls and Paradis. Let’s fast forward again.

Right there, see it? At the bottom of the page, Eren’s reaction to Willy’s statement: He hears the beginning of his own beliefs in Willy’s words…

…And he is let down in that small hope that maybe he will not have to go through with his plan after all, that someone else in the world may be on the same page as he.

Eren’s entire conversation with Reiner is just SO POIGNANT. As I’ve sat here writing this, I keep wanting to just copy paste the entire conversation into this post. I implore you, go back and read Eren and Reiner’s full exchange in Chapter 100. I’ve painstakingly pulled out the bits that are most important to my point.

Eren: Willy Tybur is right. I’m the bad guy. I might just destroy the world. But you looked like bad guys to me, too…. Why did you destroy the wall?

Reiner: …My mission….

Eren: What was that mission?

Reiner: …to retake the Founder. Our goal…was to save the world…

Reviewing this conversation breaks my heart a little, I mean look at his expression. Its a mixture of sadness and regret. Eren finally gets it. He started as a character with this solid idea of right and wrong, black and white, as I’ve written about before. His journey has been one of learning that the world is actually grey.

He’s reached a conclusion that Reiner was never truly able to reconcile in his own mind. Reiner had to create a different persona in order to cope with this reality. And, really, that’s perhaps Reiner’s end goal was always a personal goal to cover his own ass in the first place. By the time they got to the Walls, Reiner was fighting for himself. Annie got it, but had her own motivations and followed those through to the end of her plot. We now know she fought for her father.

Eren, just like Annie, realizes he must follow his motivations through to the end. Because he’s not fighting for himself. He is still fighting for the ideals he started this story with, he just now understands the sad realities of war and what happens when parents lay their sins upon their children. Eren, I believe, fights for the freedom of Paradis and the people inside the Walls, just as he did in the beginning. As quoted in an earlier post, “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster”.

Consider: If Eren had chosen not to rampage here, Marley would have come to Paradis anyway. The war would have been fought anyway. Innocents inside the Walls would have died instead. I cheer for Eren because he chooses to be the bad guy, the monster, in order to protect whom he loves and cares about. Which, I now think, is another major overarching theme of Snk: Those who fight for themselves vs those who fight for others. The Self vs The Whole.

and when you start to feel the rush

Summary: dan’s never had sex with a boy and he wonders what it’s like.  phil says that he can show him. (literally just 2009 first time porn with minimal plot)

Word Count: 5.9k

Warnings: smut (blowjob, butt sex ya know the whole deal), swearing

A/N: i literally haven’t written in almost two months but for some reason i felt possessed to write practically 6k words of porn in two days so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who even knows at this point tbh (title from Heaven in Hiding by Halsey)

ao3 link


Dan had never really been so sure about liking boys.  Sure, he had identified as bisexual for a few years now and he liked the way that felt.  It certainly seemed like a label that fit when he thought about all the cute boys he saw in movies and a couple that he had brief crushes on over the years.  But more often than not it seemed like the other boys his age were too brash and loud.  And yeah, most of the time he was like that, because after all, he was young too.  They were all just trying to figure things out and they would probably calm down with age.  

Nevertheless, this made Dan feel like he would never actually like a boy enough to want to date one.  He wanted someone that he could have an emotional connection with too, not just something physical like all the boys he met at parties seemed to want.

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In The Wake of The Goddess

Originally posted by fireprooof

Thank you to the lovely @txhohood and @permanentcross for putting up with me as I constantly sent them parts of this because I was so excited.

The first night he tried to find a beautiful woman who was almost entirely the opposite of Y/N and then see if that would get her out of his mind. Her name had been a season or a month or something like that, he couldn’t entirely remember, and he couldn’t even manage to get it up at first. It wasn’t until he started thinking about the way Y/N’s lips looked wrapped around his cock, the way her lipstick would stain his skin as she went on and the little thing she would do with her tongue that he was finally able to muster up an erection for the girl lying right in front of him. She was pretty, she was tight, she was everything that he used to go for, yet she couldn’t get him off. He could only achieve sweet release when he closed his eyes and imagined the way that Y/N would pant and moan beneath him.

or

Y/N is back home and Harry can’t stand being without her. 

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“Is Bruce in here?” Tim figured he might be— Bruce spent a lot of time in the children’s wing of Wayne Enterprises. There were a dozen or so kids in daycare most weekdays, and Bruce liked to hang out.

Tim liked to hang out too. They had nice snacks, and he’d known most of the kids since they were toddlers. And sometimes naps were mandatory.

“Conference call,” Damian told him. (For someone who claimed to hate naps, snackfood, kids, and humanity in general, Damian also spent a lot of time in the children’s wing.) “I don’t know where.” 

He went back to what he was doing, which was arranging a set of pewter soldiers into a complex model of a battlefield, presumably for the benefit of the preschooler sitting next to him. 

“What’s this?”

“The Battle of Issus, 333 BC.”

“Right, obviously.” Tim decided he was curious, so he settled down on the mats to watch.  Damian finished his model; he pulled a marker from the art table and used it as a pointer. 

“Okay. This is the Macedonian army, outnumbered but in the better tactical position, south of the Pinarus River. Their leader is Alexander the Great. And this—” He pointed to his enemy line. “—is the Achaemenid Empire. They’re about to lose.”

Damian tapped his marker on the Macedonian right. “This is the companion calvary, Alexander’s elite force, and they—” he cut off when he noticed his pupil digging in the toy bin, clearly distracted. The kid came up with a battered Transformer, which he set behind Damian’s lines. 

“Elliot. Alexander did not have robots.”

“But,” said Tim, rummaging through the box himself, “did he have wizards?” He pulled a bearded magician out of the tub and held it up for Damian to see. 

“You know he didn’t.”

Tim passed the wizard to Elliot. “But what if he did?”

“Drake.”

“How would that go?”

Drake.”

“Abracadabra, Alexander!” Elliot yelled, gleefully smashing through Damian’s entire left flank.

“Damn it, Drake.” Damian sighed in frustration— not quite the rise Tim was hoping for, but still something. He dropped Elliot’s discarded robot back into the box.

“I don’t know what you were expecting,” Tim told him. “Elliot’s four. He’s too young for— what is this— military history?”

“He was doing fine before you showed up.” Damian started to re-erect his soldiers, but he gave it up after Elliot came in for a second pass. “Which is typical, isn’t it?”

“Good one.”

“Thank you.” Damian crossed his arms. “Fine. I’ll bite. When is he supposed to learn this kind of thing?”

“High school? Maybe never.”

“That can’t be right.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Frequently.” Damian rolled his eyes. “I’m getting a second opinion.”

“I’ll wait.”

Damian checked the room for potential allies. “Thomas?” he called over his shoulder, “You learned military strategy as a kid, right?”

Duke looked up from the book he was reading to a pair of kindergardeners. “Just you, man.”

“Told you.” Tim fished a bag of plastic ninja from the toy box and arranged them pointedly into a row. “How are you still surprised by this kind of thing?”

Damian glared at him. “Okay, first of all? I’m not a— hold on a second. Elliot!”

Elliot froze with a large, plastic dinosaur held aloft over the battlefield. He drew it sheepishly back to his chest. “Sorry.”

“Not in the calvary wing,” Damian told him. “You’ll scare the horses.”

“Here?” Elliot pointed to the front of the phalanx.

“Yes.”

“RAWR.”

“Aim for his center.” Damian turned back to Tim. “Anyway. Why are you still talking to me? I thought we had an agreement about unnecessary contact.”

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