so i'm not that sorry

4

I have survived so many fires, I can no longer tell if I am alive or if I’m still burning.

pleaseprotectbucky  asked:

Ok so I hate myself so, any insecure lance headcannons?

I have so many and almost all of them are based off of my own insecurities so this will be a fun ride.

  • While Lance was super extroverted in elementary school and he was always trying to make friends, he hit a wall when he realized that his peers were more prone to laughing at him rather than with him. He shut down when he hit fifth grade, keeping mostly to himself. It wasn’t until high school that he started to open up again, despite it being a slow and scary process.
    • He only had a couple friends during middle school. One of them turned out to be a pretty shitty friend when it came down to it, cue the impending trust issues. 
      • Hunk was the first person he was able to trust after this.
  • He clings to his friends pretty desperately, terrified of being left alone again. Despite everything, he still finds it hard to believe that people care about him. He knows it’s irrational but he can’t help it.
  • It’s because of his insecurities that he’s so competitive. It’s due to his lack of self-confidence that he’s so desperate to prove himself to others. Because maybe if they realize that he’s good at something they’ll care.
    • He’s so competitive it physically hurts sometimes, it’s a crushing pain in his chest that makes him despise his own competitiveness.
    • The fact that Keith engages in these competitions makes him feel a hell of a lot better about it.
  • He cries himself to sleep more often than he’d care to admit.
  • When he’s angry with himself he either shuts down or becomes louder. The second option is typically worse for him because it means that he’s focusing all of his energy into his voice in order to avoid breaking down.
    • When he’s shutting down his actions become more rushed and he curls in on himself.
  • Blue means everything to him because she accepted him for who he is. Despite this he’s terrified of loosing her and he tends to become super defensive whenever she’s being discussed.
  • He’s had multiple anxiety attacks out of a warped belief that his friends hate him and only tolerate him for appearance’s sake. Most of these fears come from his friends seemingly acting exasperated or ignoring him. In reality he tends to multiply their reactions to him and make it something that it isn’t.
    • Hardly any comforting words from his friends ever help with this because he’s been lied to before and he has no doubt that it will happen again.
  • He finds it sickeningly hard to move on. Instead he feels desperate to prove himself to those that let him down.
  • He feels useless because he has a hard time getting things done. Sometimes he just wants to sleep and ignore the world and hope that things will be better when he wakes up.

Okay, here’s the thing, I think Damon’s been over Elena for a long time.
It might just be my Bamon shipper heart reading too much into little things but let me explain how I see things.
I think in the last episode we got Damon realising and finally admitting to himself that he loves Bonnie more than anything.

First of all, the look on Damon’s face when Caroline mentioned Elena. It just didn’t look right, not the kind of look one would give when someone mentions the so-called “love of their life”. It felt like Damon wanted to stop and tell her something, that what she had just said wasn’t entirely right but then he let it go.

Then we have the epic battle between Cade and Bonnie for Damon’s soul. Like, the way Bonnie fought for him, she just didn’t want to let him go and Damon was just so shocked. When she said that she would fight he just looked like he couldn’t believe she would do something like this for him. This scene for me was really a way to show both’s love for each other.
And the look. The look he gave her when he was hugging his brother. For me this was the point where he finally realised that he loved her and needed her. And Bonnie looking back at him, just smiling… guys, she looked so in love. Maybe she wasn’t even thinking about how much she loved him and that she could actually be in love, I don’t know how to explain this, she was just looking at him, relieved, and in love.
(And little random thing, that scene, the hug between brothers and him looking at Bonnie, reminded me soooo much of Elsa and Anna’s hug at the end of Frozen where Anna then looks at Kristoff while hugging his sister. That kind of look just feels like something people in love would do).

And then, Damon being excited when Bonnie comes over. The whole scene had such a big meaning for me.
Damon was smiling down at Elena, then he closed her coffin and turned around to welcome Bonnie with champagne. They were of course celebrating Cade’s death but it felt like he was celebrating something more. For me, the look he had when looking at Elena was him finally letting her go. They had their time, a relationship that belonged to the past. Of course he was also happy that she was still ‘alive’, both her and her brother, but it just felt so much like he was letting her go. And closing the coffin and turning to Bonnie, with the champagne, saying “Yes” almost in a whisper to himself, then him saying “You came!” in that way like he was afraid she wouldn’t come because he had something to celebrate for with her, it just felt like he was ready to finally move on with her.

The thing I actually wanted to say is that through all this season we always got Damon mentioning Elena and his love for her but for me it was like he was saying it because everyone was expecting him to say it. It was like he had to mention it because everyone knew he loved her and it had to be that way but this love just went away and he was afraid of admitting that he loved someone else instead, to everyone else and to himself.
I’m not sure if this makes sense but it also adds to Damon not saying Elena’s name when telling Stefan about the girl he hopes to marry one day (and Bonnie not saying Enzo’s name when telling her grandma she’s in love with a vampire).

Again, I wasn’t hoping on Bamon becoming endgame anymore, I had lost all my hope, and I’m still a bit wary about it, but I got my hope back with this episode. I don’t want to deceive myself but the thing is, we got some pretty big hints and scenes and I know that it might just be my shipper heart hoping to see this ship finally sail and become canon, but I guess we just have to wait and see.

We still got a great character development from both Bonnie and Damon and we also have some great episodes and scenes so if it doesn’t end the way we hope, let’s remember what we have ♥

anonymous asked:

Lance flirting with Pidge and its working

Me rn: //think of something clever….

———————-

Lance: Hey, Pidge?

Pidge: Yeah Lance?

Lance: Do you think you could help me calculate something?

Pidge: Sure, I guess…. What is it you need help calculating? 

Lance: The odds of you going on a date with me.

Pidge: … *Looks up in realization*

… *Awkward Silence* …

Pidge: *Blushes intensely*

————————-

Me: damn it Nova, that was so lame…. //facepalms

I hope you like it

about a week ago i hit 1k followers and i’m still not sure how the heck that happened. thank you so much to everyone who thinks i’m cool enough to follow (kidding kidding, that banner is honestly a joke) and everyone who makes me wanna stay in the midst of all the drama that is tumblr dot com. you guys are means so much to me and i’m just so grateful for all of you!!!


so i wanted to do something in addition to the follow forever and i’ve decided that i’m gonna take requests for mood boards!! it can be anything, a colour, a character, a celebrity, a ship, a concept, hell send me simple au ideas and i’ll see what i can come up with (if you want you can see my previous ones here)

want a mood board?
follow me (unless you’re on my follow forever, then you get a free pass)
reblog this
send me an ask with a mood board request 

and to my follow forever which consists of all my wonderful mutuals and a handful of non-mutuals who deserves all the love and appreciation in the world (faves -who bring so much happiness into my life- are bolded but i love you all)

a-c: @abloodneed @achilleanragnor @ahrtsyfray @aleclighdwood @alecsagitta @alecsplushpillow @alecstamina @amorverus @an-anonymous-friend @andrewminyardy @jazewayland @arousende @auclizzy @averymagnificentmalec @banelewis @banemagic @baneseelie @blushinglightwood @calieboyanova @canislytherinthings @carrotcakemagnus @claryfightwood @clarygaywood @conversations-with-dead-fandoms 

d-l: @dearestalec @drunkdario @f-f-f-fight @ffsmagnusbane @forcesensitivebane @fraywoodbane @glitternsass @glitterybluemagic @grumpycatsantiago @highwarlockkareena @hoteldumorts @intangibel @isabellebiwoods @izzybabewoods @jacelghtwood @kitkatmcnamara @laurenkmyers @lightvvvoods @lightwoodclan @lightwoodhunters @lightwoodlesbians

m-v: @magicalmagnus @magnusandalexander @magnusbae-ne @magnusbaene @magnusfray @matthewbane @mattlightwood @mel-iorn @mortalchairleg @nightfallgoddess @quitemagicalbane @raphaelsdumort @sapphic-isabelle @simonseroticfriendfiction @softjace @softmagnusbane @softpinkjace @softshumjr @themagnusbane @victaj @wolfpupmaia

(sorry for the long post)

i wish i could tell you how much i absolutely adore everything about you. you’re so amazing in so many ways. you’re so caring and strong. beautiful and talented. you care about your friends so much it amazes me. from making sure they get in their house when you drop them off to simply asking if they’re okay when they seem upset. you’re so strong in the sense of your feelings and all your crazy thoughts. and you’re honestly the most beautiful girl i have ever met and i don’t think you realize just how perfect you are. i wish you could see yourself the way i see you, you have the best smile ever and your eyes are incomparable. nobody could ever compare to you. you truly are an amazing and inspiring human being. and i wish i could tell you how i feel.
—  in my feels
6

*waves 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻 and slides in ⛸

hi~~ sooooooo my tumblrnniversary is coming up on the 28th, &&& to thank all of you 🙇🏻😭 i’m opening up my askbox for request, so from now onwards please do drop me a request on my askbox ☻ and simply send me your stan/otp & an emoji and i’ll make a special gif or gif set for you heheh (be surprised~~ 🙈🙈🙈) thank you guys 🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻

I think I forgot to mention my blog’s bday last week. I also shot past 1600 followers last night so I wanted to do an unofficial promo and thank some of the blogs that have helped me over the past year with a shout out ❤❤

@authenticpandas
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@crownless-again-king
@dragonfli17
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