Too late for that -Tom Holland
A/N: I don’t know why I keep ripping my own heart out. The second part is even worse. Enjoy!
Life is really not that entertaining when you are in bed half of the time and the other half you’re wandering through the hospital. Either to talk to doctors or to get yourself ran through tests and medication. It was one of those days where you didn’t have much energy because of the chemo and just lied in bed looking out the window. The tube in your nose tickled every few seconds when it sprayed fresh oxygen into your nose. You looked over to the door when it opened and your mom came in.
“Hey sweetie!” she said and was literally glowing with excitement.
“Uh..hi?” you said and were confused on why she was so emotional.
“Nothing. Just brought you some clothes and thought we should get you a little prepped up. I read that caring about yourself should help you get better. You’re always wearing that hospital thing. I brought you some nice jeans and a blouse. We can do your hair, maybe?” she offered and took the clothes out of the bag and laid them across the bed.
“Yeah…I guess.” you said and shrugged your shoulders In the last few months where your condition got worse you didn’t have the heart to say no to things which seemed to make your mom a little happier. To have cancer sucked, but to have a kid that suffered from cancer sucked even more. That’s the reason why you tried to keep her happy even though getting out of these comfy clothes was the last thing you wanted to do.
“Alright. Let’s get you out of bed.”
After you changed into the clothes your mom brought which you could have found cute if your bones weren’t poking out of your skin, showing how much weight you had lost. You were breathing heavily after you changed and had to sit down to calm your breathing.
“I’ll just put my hair in a ponytail.” you said out of breath and gave her a small smile before closing your eyes and concentrating on your breathing. After your lungs seemed to calm down a little you reached up to put your hair into a ponytail.
“How do I look?” you asked and smiled up to your mom who was obviously hiding her tears.
“Mom…” you sighed but she wiped them away immediatly and put a big smile on.
“You look stunning.” she said and made you chuckle. You leaned back against the head of the bed and pulled the blanket over your legs because your body didn’t really know how to heat up or how to cool down properly.
“I-…uh”, you started and closed your eyes again trying to not concentrate on the pain in your chest,“I should get some rest now. We’ll go out for a walk later, if you want?”
“Of course honey.” she approved and brushed her hand over your hair while leaning in to give you a kiss on your forhead, “Get some rest.”
You probably slept for half an hour even though you’d tell your mom you slept for two or three so she wouldn’t worry. The pain wasn’t always unbarable but it was always lingering in your chest which didn’t let you rest. You were looking out the window again, feeling a little drousy but not able to sleep. The wind outside was relentless, constantly dragging the trees and flowers in every direction. They were at the winds mercy, bound to be destroyed or survive without having a say in it. Helpless. Your gaze trailed back inside to your own body. Your hands were in your lap, your legs were outstreched - still in those light blue jeans.
Suddenly someone knocked on the door and the head of your mom peaked through the gap.
“Can I come in?” she asked and you nodded and waved her in. She was grinning again but this time she was holding her phone up as if she was filming you.
“What’s that?” you asked sceptically and raised an eyebrow.
“Nothing.” she answered and at the same time the door opened wide and someone in a red suit flipped into the room, landing perfectly right beside your bed.
“Oh, shit!” you cursed while laughing and pressed your hand against your chest because it startled you a little.
“Language!” your mom scolded you halfheartedly and you rolled your eyes.
“Hey! I’m Spiderman!” the person in the suit said, the mask muffling his voice and reached his hand out for you to shake it.
“I can see that. I’m Y/N.” you chuckled and shook his hand and pulled your hand back again.
“Nice to meet you.” he said and walked over to the side of the bed and reached out for his mask. As soon as he pulled it over his head your eyes widened and you felt your cheeks blush.
“Oh you’re really cute.” you blurted out and looked away while you heared him laugh at your comment. Now you understood why your mom insisted on changing your clothes. You would have been angry with her if she had let him see you in those hospital robes.
Tom, as you later found out, was a great actor. You hadn’t seen Civil War and Spiderman: Homecoming wasn’t released yet so you weren’t aware of the fact that they had cast a new Spider-Man. But he was great, he talked to you for a bit, made you laugh and for a little moment you felt admired. Because he had this look on his face as if he did not see you in this hospital bed. He talked to you as if you were two young adults at a party getting to know each other, but then he had to go on to the other people and surprise them. His manager actually came in to tell him that it was time to keep going. You did not expect to see him ever again. He was an actor after all, famous all around the world.
But he was going to prove you wrong. Almost a week later there was a knock on your door. It couldn’t be your mom because she was at work. It couldn’t be the doctors because they came in literally five minutes ago. You furrowed your brows trying to figure out who it could be but it was pointless.
“Come in!” you called and the door opened slowly. Someone in a black hoodie slipped through the gap and closed the door behind him. As soon as he turned around your mouth fell open.
“Hey.” he greeted you and took his hoodie off and shook his head to fix his curly hair.
“Wait a se-…Tom?” you said trying to figure out what was happening.
“Ah, okay. Alright where are the cameras? Mom! You can come out now!” you called with a smile on your face and looked around to see them coming out. But there was no one.
“Actually..” he said and stepped closer and pulled out sunflowers from behind his back, “it’s just me this time.” he added and handed you the flowers and sat down next to your bed on a chair.
You looked down to the flowers and up to Tom again, blinking, showing your confusion.
“Are you…okay?” he chuckled and waved infront of your face and made you look into his eyes.
“How did you expect me to react? Freaking Tom Holland just snuck into my hospital room.” you said and threw your hands into the air.
“Not my smoothest move. I admit.” he chuckled and scratched the back of his head.
“You don’t say.” you teased him while asking yourself where you got the boost of confidence in the back of your head.
“If you had given me a heads up, I would’ve changed into something…less hospital-y.” you joked while pointing st the robe and made him chuckle.
“Why? I see a perfectly fine, beautiful girl.” A smirk appeared on his face and you had to press your lips together not to grinn like an idiot.
“Not very smooth either.”
“Shit.” he chuckled and brushed his hand through his hair. His gaze traveled from your nightstand up to the bag of red-brown-ish liquid that was attached to a tube which lead to your arm. His eyes widened a little while stared at it and an awkward silence developed.
“It’s not as bad as it looks.” you said finally and his gaze jumped to you while his cheeks flushed.
“I-..I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-…stare.” he said while shaking his head and you shrugged your shoulders. “It’s fine. I stare at it sometimes. You try to understand things that keep you alive.” you tried to joke but it was a way too touchy topic.
“Anyways!” you added before another awkward silence could start, “why are you here?”
“I remebered having a good conversation with a gorgeous woman, so I had to come back to check on her.”
“Still. Not very smooth.”
Surprisingly you had a very good time with the man you just had met. And after that he kept coming in as much as his schedule allowed him to. To a point where you became really good friends and maybe a little more which concerned you very much. It scared you, having feelings for somebody, knowing your state. Almost four months in, where your condition got worse every day, you were having some really dark thoughts. Did you deserve to be loved? Was it fair to somebody else to begin a relationship when you knew you’d leave soon? Were you even allowed to love anyone? To let someone love you?
Tom walked in with his hands full of bags and a flower between his teeth.
“Wha-…” even though you were not feeling well at all he still managed to make you laugh.
“Take it.” he mumbled and leaned down for you to take the flower and you did.
“A guy gotta eat.” he said and winked before sitting down and unpacked the food.
“I can’t eat any of those.” you said with a raised brow and he nodded.
“I know. That’s why I got you…this!” he said and pulled out a whole head of lettuce and held it right under your nose.
“Ha ha. Very funny, Holland.” you said pushing his hand away and rolled your eyes while trying to hide your smile.
“I know baby. I am the funniest.” he said in a cocky voice and you hit his shoulder playfully.
It was almost midnight when a nurse came in for the fifth time and told him to get lost this time. I asked her for five minutes and she was kind enough to leave us alone.
“Alright. I better get going. You need to rest.” he said and leaned down to give you a kiss on your forhead.
“Tom.” you blurted out when he had already turned his back on you.
“I need you to keep in mind that my condition isn’t getting better.” you said and he raised his brows.
“So…don’t.” you tried to give him a hint but he acted dumb.
“You know what I mean Tom. I’m dying!” you blurted out finally and crossed your arms infront of your chest.
“No I don’t and no you’re not.” he said while shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders like a child who didn’t want to come inside, even if it got dark outside.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” he added and blew you a kiss which made you sigh.
“Tom.” you stopped him again and took a deep breath, “Don’t fall in love with me.”
“A little too late for that.” he said and you saw him grinn before he left your room to avoid the angry nurse.