so i was working on this while there was no wifi

Why the fuck is it such a huge god damn SECRET to tell me if there’s a uniform/dresscode/etc in the interview?

Had one of those interviews about a year ago at a store I really loved (frequent shopper) where at the end knew I was hired unoffically… and kinda had an idea that workers wore black/white. At the end when the person asked me if I had any questions I asked if there was a dresscode for the position and was told “Oh, haha!! Don’t worry about it- we’ll get to it during your orientation, anything else?” So I was something like, “oh okay, but it’s like black, right?” and they go “kinda yeah” and moves on.

……… um NO bitch this is a pt-min wage job if I have to BUY clothes that are a certain color/length/style/etc I NEED to know that before I’m hired. It might not be a big deal to you hiring person with your manager’s salary…. but I can’t (and won’t????) buy an entire new wardrobe to work at your store, 10hr/wk, for 9$/hr. I wouldn’t classify that experience as necessarily shady… and I didn’t think much on it until after I left (I had heart eyes the entire time, for the chance to work at my fav store lol)… but wtf man, what’s an interview for if not to find out about the job??

Needless to say I was offered and turned down the job, but funny story…. cut to a little while ago I was sitting at a *$ kisok during a break chatting to the barista (we’ve kinda become aquantiences by default bc I always go there for free wifi+caffiene on my breaks lol) and it was dead there and they were cleaning a table and commented on my name tag which says where I work and they told me they also were offered a job there, went in for orientation and got SENT HOME FROM ORIENTATION because they came in nice black jeans/colorful professional shirt and it wasn’t in the dress code (B bottoms + b or w top- NOT EVEN THAT BAD?????) but they were NEVER TOLD the dress code. The kicker? After they were sent home to change and came back it was literally 20 minutes in the manager’s office with the door closed just doing hiring paperwork and then they got to go home and didn’t have an actual shift scheduled until the next 2 weeks (after the current schedule finished) (and they quit and got hired at *$ before their first shift even happened). We spent my entire 30 minute shift basically shit-talking this store for sending them home to change only to sit in a closed office. 

Like wtf… how hard it is to tell someone what the dress code is. I feel bad for the people who actually work there because who knows how other things are run in that store.  The store I work in now has a dress code that’s pretty much the same and I’m pretty sure it was the first thing the hiring person told me when I sat down for the interview (they literally asked me if the dresscode was okay lol).

Notes to the girl whose house I live in

by reddit user JJX2525

It took me a week to find where you keep your wifi password. A whole week! I was really worried you’d thrown it away, but lo and behold, there it was in the cutlery drawer of all places. Everything about the way you organize things confuses me. I guess because you live on your own now you just put things any old place. I know there was someone else before, I heard you talking about him on the phone. Johnny, I think? Jimmy? Anyway, I know because you said it was tough being alone. But you’re not alone, of course. You have me!

Keep reading

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee.

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialized area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theater full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

6

Hello! I finally got over my jet lag (i think)!
I had a great time back in my hometown, Manila! ^o^ ♥

I had lots of fun and also lots of rest and I feel so refreshed (and also kind of sad because I miss my relatives and my dog…and the food) – Now that I think about it – being back here in New York in winter feels so much sadder because of the gloomy surroundings ((compared to the colorful and lively neighborhood back home – it’s been 2 years since I was able to visit Manila aahh)) ///// anyway, here are some photos from our flight stopover in Taiwan Taoyuan Airport!

Thank you so much for your well wishes everyone, I really appreciate it!
I hope to upload lots of new art starting next week (and will resume working on that MM art book♥)

I couldn’t do 707 Route while I was there, I had no mobile internet and the WiFi everywhere was super slow ;;v;; Now that I’m back, I still can’t do the route because the app won’t let me change my time zone (it still doesn’t recognize Daylight Savings Time)!!! //cries because now I won’t be able to play the new update hhHHHNNN

Also – my fave photo of all (it’s me beside a mirror) vvvvvvvvvvvvv

Send Nude Pics of Your Heart to Me

James Potter to Mrs. Wife: lily can we have another baby?

Lily Potter to Wears Socks to Bed: R u going to text me that every time Harry does something cute?

James Potter: yes

Lily Potter: U know if we got one every time u asked we’d have like 35 babies by now??

James Potter: i’d be okay with that

James Potter: they might give us our own tv programme

James Potter: lil and jim and their kin 

Lily Potter: Ur right what’s the point of having children if not to pimp them out for reality television

Keep reading

AU MASTER LIST

So here is a bunch of AU’s that I’ve collected over…. a long time. Enjoy

Awkward Meetings

  • I broke your nose in a mosh pit, sorry
  • I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital, this is sort of awkward, are you okay?
  • You’re getting chased by the police and you just jumped in my car and yelled drive, wtf man
  • You just punched me in the face while gesturing wildly to a friend, your friend can’t stop laughing and im too shocked to respond to your apologies
  • You laughed in a restaurant, but your laugh is really weird and I thought you were choking so I’m awkwardly humping you while attempting to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre and why isn’t this working, you’re just choking harder now this is aweful
  • We met on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame
  • I get really sick on roller-coasters and you are sitting in front of me, im so sorry
  • You’re the bastard who keeps parking in front of my house and you just caught me drawing a dick on your window with a permanent marker… ugh, oops.
  • I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold another fucking shirt and just leave it, I’m going to fucking shove it down your throat
  • You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friends place and I should call the cops by my cat likes you so????
  • You’re my new dealer and you just friended me on Facebook and idk how to react to that
  • You saw me reading the same book you are and now we are arguing about the motives of the antagonist
  • This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and  you’re deathly afraid of flying. 
  • I got into a cab to find someone already inside
  • You thought I was your friend/sister
  • Holy shit, im in the wrong car.
  • I was walking by a roller coaster and your shoe flew off and hit me in the head and now I’m on the floor trying not to fall unconscious.
  • It’s 2am and I’m drunk and I need some salt for my fries and I know your awake so OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR
  • You fell asleep on me in the subway and I should probably wake you up and its my stop next stop but it’s okay, I can always just catch the subway back…
  • I know nothing about camping and all my friends left me at the site. Please, help me, I think I just heard a bear
  • This has been a shitty week and you just grabbed the last box of my favourite comfort food from the shelf, do you really want to fight me rn?
  • We met in a movie theatre and now you’re clinging to me because your terrified and I’m okay with that because it means I get your popcorn.
  • You had a party and I got really drunk and stole your microwave, so now I’m at your place and your super hungover so here, I made breakfast?

Neighbour/Roomate

  • The guy living below me has a really loud alarm clock that always wakes me up at the crack of dawn
  • I went to investigate a scream and found my neighbour standing on a chair to avoid a rat/mouse/cricket (etc.)
  • My neighbour has a really squeaky bed and my bedroom is below theirs
  • You keep stealing my doormat and HAH, I’ve got you this time thief!
  • The apartment above me has left their tap on or something and water is leaking through my ceiling
  • My neighbour’s sibling got the wrong house number and barged into my apartment on accident.
  • My roommate keeps stealing my coffee so now I make extra 
  • You’re my new neighbour and wow man, you have some really weird habits.
  • You’re my neighbour and you are stealing my wifi to watch porn and can you not?
  • You locked yourself outside of your apartment and there’s a storm rolling in and I pity you so please come into my apartment I’ll make you hot chocolate?
  • I heard you singing at 3 am and joined in and now you’re at my door and wtf mate I think your drunk but your voice is really nice so?
  • I just set the fire alarm in our building off again… sorry. I know its like the fourth time this week…
  • You keep mowing your lawn when I’m trying to sleep and seriously FUCK YOU
  • My new neighbour is really hot and wow I didn’t even like women until now? And now she is in the garden planting flowers in her bikini wow… im in too deep
  • It’s 3 am and you’re blasting off classic rock at full volume and your music taste might be awesome but soME PEOPLE are trying to sLEEP
  • We’ve never met but we shower at the same time and our showers are on opposite sides of the same apartment wall so sometimes we start duets?

Pets

  • I’m out walking and my dog started chasing your dog. 
  • My cat/dog ran away and you just found it but refuse to accept the reward. 
  • We are neighbours and your cat got my cat pregnant… so, wanna raise this little kitty family?
  • My pet tarantula/snake (etc) escaped and I forgot to warn the guy below me who is terrified of snakes/spiders
  • I need you to pet sit my pet for a while and I forgot to mention it’s a snake, the mice are in the freezer. Thanks, bye
  • My cat really hates you cat and that’s the third time this week I’ve had to pry them apart.
  • My cat keeps breaking into your apartment and it ate all your plants… dinner to make up for it?
  • My cat sneaked out on the balcony and into your open window and he has this habit of destroying furniture and pissing everywhere so I followed him inside and you cam home earlier than I expected and found me in the middle of your living room and honestly I’m not a burglar
  • Your dog likes me a thousand times better than she likes your partner and sorry not sorry I love this dog
  • You were walking your dog when you found me passed out on a park bench and thank you for waking me up and buying coffee instead of stealing my wallet

Music

  • I’m on a bus and wow, you’re singing really loudly and everyone is giving you weird looks, hey bud, tone it down, also great choice in music
  • You play Double Bass/Cello and I play 1st chair Violin and we keep making eye contact and damn your super cute.
  • You play in an orchestra and I love these songs so much, plus you’re really cute. Shit man, you’ll never notice me in the huge crowd…
  • Music is kinda illegal and my friend just died and apparently he wrote music and wow I want to know what it sounds like and to play it at his funeral but I don’t know how to. You’re a well-known music dealer, do you happen to understand these notes? Can you help me?
  • I tried to act cool at this concert and I thought I was leaning on a wall but apparently it was a speaker and now it’s on the ground in pieces and everyone’s glaring at me… sorry?

Supernatural

  • I’m a wizard and I just accidently apparated into your house. Oops.
  • I died over 2000 years ago and you’ve been dead for like 2 hours, man, damn it now I have to explain this shit to you. Great.
  • I’m immortal and you’re mortal and I don’t know how to explain this to you and soon enough you’re going to realise that I’m not aging… shiiittt
  • You’re a greek god and I’m the roman counterpart. 
  • I’m a ghost and your alive and I think I’m in love with you…. Fuck. 
  • You’re a faun and I’m a Satry
  • I’m half demon and people often judge me based on my looks, but your blind and wow you actually like me? 
  • I’m a time traveller and I went back in time and wow I think I’m in love with you, fuck this isn’t good, I just faked being George Washington… wait what? George Washington doesn’t exist here? Shit… I actually am George Washington.
  • I’m a writer and your my character and wtf how the heck did you just literally climb out of my first draft? 
  • I’m a werewolf but I don’t want to tell you because my wolf form might be that really small chihuahua you keep mentioning you see when I go out…
  • I’m an android and you’re a human and wow what is that warmth I feel when I see you?
  • I’m a homesick telepath and you’re the poor soul who is receiving all these emotions, sorry
  • Somehow I’m in your body and you’re in mine and shit man being this close to the ground is fucked up.
  • I’m a genie an d you rubbed my lamp so congrats you get three wishes but you can’t seem to think of shit and why the fuck do I have to be stuck with you? Hurry up and think of some wishes okay?
  • I was an awful angel and as punishment I have to be your guardian angel and wow your super cute and nice but I still hate you
  • You keep having strange dreams that turn out to be us in a past life and you’re determined to fine me again but in this life I’m already dead.
  • We live in the year 3090, you’re a scientist and I’m your assistant. Unfortunately and experiment goes wrong and I die. Now you’re trying to put my brain into a robot but its not the same
  • I’m a vampire and I have a moment of weakness, you’re nearby and lets just say it doesn’t end well
  • I’m a dragon and you’re a really hot prince, that’s right, they locked up the wrong royalty.
  • You’re a pirate and I’m a siren and woah… are you asexual? That’s so cool, hey wait, don’t go I just want to talk
  • Your mirror is a doorway into my dimension and I can see everything…. 
  • Listen I am genetically modified and you WILL let me hide in your house
  • Ok, so I panicked and kissed this human so he wouldn’t drown. And I know you don’t want me to keep him, and we can’t let him leave if he knows about us mere people so what do you want to do?

School/College

  • I just got partnered with you in dance class and I can’t dance for shit
  • You’re my science lab partner and how the fuck did you just explode that beaker?
  • I’m an art student and you just found my sketchbook and you’re going through it. Shit man can you give that back, I don’t care how good you think they are just don’t turn that page…
  • You’re the school dork and I’m the school jock and fuck you can see where this is going
  • We are the only two kids who ride this school bus, maybe we should carpool?
  • I thought you were my roomies new boyfriend so I invited you in but your actually the RA of the dorm and now you think I want to have sex with you
  • I accidently flooded the laundry room and you really need to do laundry
  • You’re sitting in my seat in this lecture and who even are you? I’ve never seen you before… wait what, stop checking me out!
  • We argued so much during a class discussion that we both got kicked out and we’re still arguing outside the class
  • You left your USB in the library computer and I had to go through your files to figure out who you are and in the end I read the entirety of this book you’re working on and wow you’re really good?
  • I’m a traditional painter who has to take a basic Photoshop class, you’re a graphic design major sitting next to me and getting sucked into helping me out because Im so shitty at this
  • My pottery bowl exploded in the kiln and I feel like a failure, you found me crying about it in the hallway and are now trying to comfort me and your sweater is really soft wow sorry
  • You and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and fuck it I’m trying to study over her so fuck you I’m going to put an end to this game by winning 
  • We are both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from student and you’ve won for the past three years
  • Romeo and Juliet of the math and English departments 
  • I want to get along with you roomie… but I like star wars… and you like star trek… this isn’t going to work.
  • I usually talk to my friends through morse code in class but… apparently you know morse too… and now you know I think your butt is cute
  • I got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and now I’m being adopted by someone who is really hot OH FUCKING NO

Near Death Experiences

  • Wow I was just in a fatal accident and who the hell are you? What is this I’m I dying? Wait no, I don’t want this, how do I get out of it? A deal you say, I’ll take it.
  • You’re an executioner and I’m about to be executed but you can’t seem to run the guillotine, wait what, why are we running away, man you’re my favourite executioner
  • Our plane/boat crashed and now it’s just us on this island. 
  • I just took a super dangerous job and your trying to talk me out of it, but we really need the money
  • It’s the middle of a war and I’m on a ship that you’re ship just torpedoed. Now I’m a prisoner and wow why can’t I feel my legs. I’m not cooperating until I can feel them again. What the fuck do you mean I’m paralysed?
  • I’m addicted to ____ (drugs/alcohol etc) and you found me in an alleyway due to after effects of my addiction (beat up, overdose etc) and decide to take me in.
  • I sold my soul to bring you back to life and I don’t have long left please make this time count

Mistaken and Secret Identities

  • I’m  a thief/hacker/murder and you’ve found out my identity and have been bugging me for days to take you on as your partner
  • I’m a superhero and you want to be like me but in doing so become a supervillain, what do you mean you don’t understand why I’m punching you?
  • I’m a superhero, you’re a supervillain, but we don’t know each other’s identities and we are actually best friends
  • I’m runaway royalty and you’re a commoner, fuck I’m so screwed I need your help, I’ll explain later
  • You think I’m a celebrity and you’re talking too much for me to explain I am defintely not… that dude. What was his name again?
  • You’re a superhero and I’m your best friend and what the fuck man? Why the hell didn’t you tell me? If you had maybe I would be fucking caught with this stupid ass monologue-ing villain
  • I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err… your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour's…
  • I’m a superhero and you’re a supervillain and I saw you visiting kids at the children’s hospital and letting them act like they defeated you and now it’s really hard to punch you in the face

Profession Based

  • Your my mailman and I can’t help but notice that you linger at my door slightly longer than you need to ever since you saw me that one time. Do you want to come inside?
  • I’m a private detective and your my client and fuck man you’re in some deep shit
  • You’re a protester and I’m a police officer. Seriously can you please calm down a little bit, this is my job not my  beliefs.
  • I’m a make-up artist/hair stylist and I you’re an actor/model and are you flirting or???
  • You’re a celebrity and sorry mate, I have to take pictures to pay rent, I know its invasive seriously, sorry
  • You’re a store clerk and fuck, is that my ex? Can I please hide behind this counter?
  • You’re a lifeguard at my kid’s swimming competition and I fell in the pool with all my clothes on and you awkwardly tried to save me even though I didn’t need it.
  • You work at a pet store and I came in to look at tarantulas but somehow we lost the biggest one and its loose somewhere in the store and it really doesn’t help that you’re terrified of spiders
  • I’m a firefighter and you started a fire in your kitchen but you’re still flirting with me even though you’re not wearing pants and I’m carrying you down a ladder. Stop complimenting my muscles for fucks sake
  • We work at the same company and I kind of had a crush on you until I noticed that you’re the asshole stealing my lunch from the office fridge.
  • I’m a firefighter and you live near the station I work at and we talk/flirt with each other a lot. One day me and my team get called to put out a fire and it’s your home ablaze. You don’t make it.
  • I work at a fruit store and you come in almost every day and rearrange stuff on the shelves and then leave. Today you made the apples spell ‘call me’
  • It’s 2am and I was just trying to get home but I left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and I drove into a pole - stop laughing! You’re a cop, aren’t you supposed to be helping?
  • You’re drunk and want my name tattooed on your ass.
  • You always bring your dates to the restaurant I wait at and now you’re here alone… you okay mate?

Winter Times

  • It’s snowing and I usually walk to work but that’s not happening, hey roomie, can you please drive me? Yes I know its 4am
  • I accidently gave all my winter clothes to charity over the summer and not its not so much summer, but I’m broke and hey… could you give me your old winter clothes… maybe?
  • I love the cold, but I promised to visit you for a good 4 months and wow, why did I do this? There isn’t snow here?
  • I don’t know you, but you just threw a snowball at my face, mate, its on.
  • I don’t know who the hell you are, but my roommate has someone over and It’s really cold outside…. Can I come in? Or like, have a blanket, or even a towel?

Old Friends

  • I knew you in high school and I ran into you at a renaissance fair wearing full knight regalia
  • I met you once when I was 12, we started a pen-pal relationship across the world and haven’t stopped even though we are a lot older now. 
  • You were my best friend when we were younger but your family moved to the other side of the world, and we haven’t talked in years. But now your back and wow how did you recognise me when I can’t even remember your name?

Fake Dating

  • I hired you to be my date for a wedding but your super cute, maybe we cannot fake-date? 
  • I’m fake dating you to have someone to vent to on family gatherings while also pissing off my conservative uncle that I never liked and wow… have your eyes always been this nice?
  • We’re both cosplayers and we somehow always manage to meet each other at cons dressed as a popular ship and people always want photos of us in compromising positions and so we always end up fake-dating the entire day but you’re actually really hot and I’m head over heels for you
  • My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex, quick make out with me, I’ll pay you.

Miscellaneous

  • I’m blind and wow your voice is absolutely beautiful can you just keep talking? Forever? Please?
  • My younger sibling is besties with your sibling and even though we hate each other I guess we’ve got to start hanging out a little
  • We are both at a grocery store at am and you offered to arm wrestle me for the last box of cereal, its on!
  • You’re sleeping on my best friend’s couch while your house is being renovated and you have really weird habits like attempting to sing opera in the shower and you keep eating all my Nutigrain 
  • We bump into each other every Friday at the supermarket to buy the same ice-cream and maybe we should eat it together?
  • Our parents are dating and thank god I’m not the only one pissed off about this
  • I went to museum to get some inspiration and then I saw you staring at one of the paintings in awe and wow you just noticed me drawing you and this is awkward
  • I decide to take a shortcut home that involves crawling through a really tight hole in a fence and I end up getting stuck and you just happened to pass by and now you’re laughing at me
  • I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because I could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly
  • We are trapped in a bank during a robbery
  • Your country is trying to take over mine and I might be a little attracted to you and stop this it’s really hard to retaliate okay?
  • I was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me
TFP characters as dril tweets
  • Optimus Prime: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Ratchet: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: “theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron”
  • Bumblebee: 1st grade: Mastered. 2nd Grade: MAstered. 3rd Grade: Mastered. 4th Grade: Heres when they start trying to trick you 5th Grade:This ones hard
  • Arcee: strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian
  • Bulkhead: i fear my tropical fish no longer respect me after i accidetnally stumbled backwards & smushed my ass hole right up against their $3000 tank
  • Wheeljack: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • Cliffjumper: priest plugs my coffin in at the end of the funeral. “MILLERTIME” lights up in neon on the side, desecrating my corpse & sending me to hell
  • Smokescreen: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. I hoot and holler out of the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
  • Ultra Magnus: Blocked. Blocked. Blocked. You are all blocked. None of you are free of sin
  • Jack: yes trolls. unlike you, i have a brain. its called a " JOB "
  • Raf: downloading shit loads of counterfeit papa john coupons through unsecure wifi net works
  • Miko: DAD: i just heard on t he news that teens are taking the "Kick My Ass" challenge. please dont do this ME: you have no power over me, old man
  • Jane Darby: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no
  • Fowler: i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to stop tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances
  • Megatron: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infant
  • Stascream: I just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in
  • Soundwave: im the guy who airbrushes the nipples out of pro wrestling ads. i make $85k a year. but i have a secret *removs shades to reveal nipple eyes
  • Knockout: I put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like “oh tortures bad” , “its ineffective” fuck off
  • Breakdown: my grave is just a huge tv displaying videos of me doing parkour in hell and it makes all the other graves look like shit
  • Arachnid: i will tell you this right now: I'm from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally
  • Shockwave: i have absolutely zero interest in friendship, i have absolutely zero interest in jokes, i am simply here to collect data and earn respect.
  • Predaking: please bring your rats to the new castle flea market so I may bless/heal them. ill be sitting in a lawn chair wearing a stolen priest outfit
  • Dreadwing: (the trolls watch in astonishment as the milk shake they threw at me flawlessly bounces off of my head wwith minimal pain and mess involved)
  • Unicron: *all horrors begotten by the desire of man flash before eyes* woha! this is awkward *the cries of millions suffering echo* Damn That's Weird

I’m starting my third year in 2 days and I was thinking about everything I’ve learned in those long 2 years and thought why not share some of it with you guys. Everyone’s experience is different and mine may not cover every aspect of college life, but here are some things that I’ve learned from my uni days so far.

1. College is not like high school

You must be like ‘well duh obviously it’s not’ but listen: you get much more freedom when it comes to your studies. And with that freedom comes more responsibility. You’re on your own here, you study for you and you’ll often study alone outside of class so time management is very important. There are no teachers who will go over the material again and again, you either get it or you don’t . But don’t worry,most professors are always willing to help you out if you don’t understand something.

2. Studying is beneficial for your future but sometimes so is going out

Every once in a while it’s good to take a break and hang out with your groupmates. You will get to know each other better in a more chill and relaxed atmosphere. Also, if you ever get exchange students, hang out with them as well. Believe me, you’ll learn so many interesting things about their culture and the background they come from and it’s always good to broaden your knowledge in those areas.

3. Don’t drink with people you don’t trust

((that is of course if you’re old enough to drink:)) There are some genuinely nice people out there who will hold your hair while you’re throwing up, pay for the cab and make sure you get home safe (or walk you to your dorm room), but there are also those who will not hesitate to take advantage of you, so please be careful about who you’re drinking with (it’s always good to have a trusting friend who you know will take care of you in case you take too many shots).

4. That being said, if you see someone who’s had too much to drink and doesn’t seem to have anyone they know wherever it is that you’re drinking at, take care of them

This is pretty self explanatory, and I know you may think it’s not your duty to take care of this person (especially if it’s someone you’ve never met before) but please don’t just leave them at the party/club/whaever, you will not forgive yourself if anything happens to them.

5. Hangover is a bitch

I’m realizing now that three out of five tips so far have been about drinking but oh well. If you have never (or you think you have never) had a hangover in high school, welcome to college. Keep sipping on that water cause it’s going to be a long, long day.

6. Never take a class you’re not interested in just because your friend is taking it

This one can be tricky if you (like me) suffer from anxiety. But if there’s a class you really want to take that none of your friends are interested in, do it! The best course I’ve taken in uni so far was the one my friends didn’t even consider and it was an amazing one. Yet at the end of last year, when I was signing up for classes for the first semester of year three, I decided to take a course I didn’t like just because my uni best friend had signed up for it, and now said friend is dropping out and I will be stuck with the course I couldn’t care less about for an entire semester, so that’s a cautionary tale right there.

7. Participate in optional work

If you have any debates, film/book discussion and things of that nature, take part in them. It’s yet another chance to meet new people, and you often get extra credit for them which is never a bad thing (that’s how I aced one of my classes in year one)

8. All-nighters aren’t cool

They’re not healthy and often do more damage than good. Only pull one if you absolutely need it (e.g if it’s already past midnight, the deadline is in 9 hours and you haven’t even started writing that 15 page essay)

9. Don’t start working unless you really need the money

Combining study and a full-time or even a part-time job is extremely hard. Think about it this way: there’s sleeping, studying and working; you can only have two. You will be either working and sleeping, studying and sleeping or studying and working, none of those options are good for you and your mental and physical health. And hey, once you graduate you’ll have to get a job either way, so if your parents are still willing to support you or you have another way of supporting yourself financially, it’s best to just not rush it and focus on getting that diploma instead.

10. Dropping out isn’t the end of the world

If at some point you decide to drop out, give yourself some time to think it through; a week, a month, a semester. College is not for everyone, and there are different life situations and if you end up dropping out, know that you are NOT a failure. Several of my friends dropped out over these two years and they’re living their best lives right now. You’re going to figure it out and you’re going to be okay, I’m rooting for you lil bean.

And some additional tips:

- Have a bottle of water on you at all times. Hydration is the key, remember?

- Libraries and reading rooms are the best. They’re pretty, quiet and often have wifi. Just don’t skip classes too often there.

- Don’t compare your success with others’. 

- Sometimes eating dried tea leaves during a lecture is the best way to connect with people. Please don’t ask me why I know this.

Hope you guys found this helpful and hope you all are having a great beginning of your school year!

DETAILS ON DISNEY & PIXAR’S UPCOMING MOVIES - D23 EXPO DAY 1

Yesterday at Disney’s D23 Expo, the main event was the presentation on Disney & Pixar’s upcoming films, and we got so many details from the event! However, trailers, clips, & featurettes were shown at the presentation that AREN’T available online at the time I posted this. If they get posted online soon, I will update this post (otherwise, I’ll just made a new post). 

COCO

A lot of new clips of Coco were shown at the animation panel!🎶 As we know the film will be Pixar’s first musical, and one of the songs from the movie was performed live at the panel; the new song titled “Remember Me” will be written by the Frozen songwriters Bobby Lopez and Kristen Anderson Lopez. We also got this new still of the main characters Coco and Hector!
“Coco” will hit theaters November 22, 2017.🎶

FROZEN 2

The actors have just started recording sessions for Frozen 2, so there weren’t any clips from the movie shown, but we did get a behind the scenes look at the team working on the movie.❄️
Josh Gad & Kristen Bell also made a special appearance to sing a song from Olaf’s Frozen Adventure, titled “That Time of Year”, which will be one of the four songs in the short. FYI: Olaf’s Frozen Adventure will be the Disney short playing before Coco this November.❄️

Originally posted by hafanforever

TOY STORY 4

Time for Toy Story 4!☁️
The audience at D23 were shown a clip that shows the behind the scenes work being done on the movie! We know that the first line of the movie will be the aliens saying “Oooooh” and that there will be a character named Lulu who is a “paper-doll”! It’s also been announced that Josh Cooley will be the sole director of the film (John Lasseter isn’t directing anymore). The plot will essentially revolve around Woody, Buzz, and the gang taking a road-trip to reunite Woody & Bo Peep.
“Toy Story 4” will be released June 21, 2019.☁️

Originally posted by pilou-pilouuu

WRECK IT RALPH 2

The trailer for Wreck It Ralph 2 was shown at the animation panel, as well as a new clip from the movie!👾
The movie is titled “Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2 “ and it will take place six years following the events of the first film; the story will center on Ralph’s adventures in the Internet data space when a WiFi router gets plugged into the arcade.👾
There will be a new character in the movies named “Yesss” voiced by Taraji P Henson, who is an expert on the latest trends for the website “Buzzaholic”; Yesss will take Ralph & Vanellope on a tour of the World Wide Web!👾
In the new clip from the movie that was shown, Yesss takes them to the Oh My Disney site, which looks like Disneyland! On the Oh My Disney site, we see Ralph & Vanellope interact with all of the Disney princesses (who are voiced by their original voice actors), and meet C3PO, stormtroopers, tsum tsums, and Stan Lee!
All the voice actresses for every single Disney princesses were on stage to show this clip to the audience!👾💕
Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2 will hit theaters November 2018!👾

INCREDIBLES 2

Incredibles 2 will take place immediately after the events of the first movie!💥
The beginning of the movie will begin with an action sequence against the Underminer, & Elastigirl will be the star of the action while Bob takes care of Jack Jack at home.💥
John Lasseter, Pixar CCO has said “It starts right as the first one finishes, so it just carries on. You know that at the end of the first movie when he comes up and you see the family dressed as superheroes, well that’s where [we] start this movie.”💥
Bob doesn’t even know that Jack Jack has powers yet! In the movie the Parr family will get a new house “that’s a cross between a dream house and a super lair.“ Samuel L. Jackson has also appeared at the panel and will be back to voice Frozone!💥
A new clip from the movie has also been shown at the panel, which revolves around Jack Jack & his superpowers!💥
The Incredibles 2 is slated to hit theaters on June 15, 2018.💥

We also got this great video featurette of Edna Mode, the fashion mogul.

Skyline {III}

Originally posted by coolbackflips

Warnings: Blood

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: You guys!!!!  I can’t believe you are all so nice honestly!!!!  I hit 500 followers today so as a thank you, here is pt. 3 a day earlier than expected!!  Forgive me if there are any mistakes, as I stayed up late to finish it (I have to be up in six hours for work oh lord) and I really hope you guys like it.  There most definitely will be a pt. 4, and possibly pt. 5, as this scene became longer than expected, and I decided to split it between two chapters.  Again, thank you so much, guys.  All my love.

{part I} {part II}

As the end of August neared, you began to fear the return of school.  Not because you hated it—in fact, you were fond of school.  You liked learning, you liked seeing your friends from certain classes, and you even missed some of your teachers. However, with the return of your school came the return of Spider-Man’s school.  He had explained to you how difficult it was to balance the responsibilities of his civilian life with the responsibilities of being a superhero. Between those tightropes of time management, you doubted there would be any hours allotted to visiting you.

You knew that you had no right to be sad about your predicament.  The right thing to do would be to not think selfishly, and just be happy with the time you were given with someone who doesn’t normally share their world. But, no matter how many times you had a talk with yourself, you still couldn’t bring yourself out of your melancholy thoughts.

Keep reading

Just say yes 🥂

“Fancy meeting you here.” Harry watched amusedly as Malfoy whirled around in surprise and almost dropped his champagne flute.

“Potter.” He sounded breathless, caught off guard. “I thought you were in Egypt on some mission.”

Harry cocked his head to one side and gave Malfoy a quizzical glance.

“I see you’ve been keeping tabs on me.”

“That’s not-” Malfoy’s cheeks turned rosy as he quickly looked away. “Your name is always all over the paper.”

“This was a secret mission,” Harry replied, trying not to snicker.

“Yeah, well… It’s- it’s hard to escape you. People talk about you everywhere. Everywhere!”

“Sure,” Harry said, taking a sip of champagne.

“Auror Potter! Auror Potter!” A small, middle-aged man behind Malfoy began waving frantically at Harry, almost jumping up and down in his excitement.

“Oh no,” Harry muttered. Malfoy took a look over his shoulder and rolled his eyes.

“Auror Potter! We didn’t expect you to be back so soon,” the middle-aged man said, clasping one of Harry’s hands and shaking it vigorously.

“Mister Franklin,” Harry said, barely able to hide his annoyance.

“You were on a mission I presume? Was it undercover? Did it go well?”

Harry sighed and briefly closed his eyes.

“Mister Franklin, a gala is hardly the place for an interview, is it?”

Mister Franklin chuckled and clasped Harry’s hand even tighter.

“You know how it is with us reporters, we never rest.”

“Oh yes, I know,” Harry said. “However, I am currently unavailable for a statement.”

“But Auror Potter-”

“If you will excuse me, Mister Franklin,” Harry interrupted him, freeing his hand from the other man’s grip and placing it on Malfoy’s back. “I have important business to attend to.”

He ignored the incredulous looks Mister Franklin and Malfoy were giving him and pushed through the crowd. Harry noticed how Malfoy’s body twitched under his touch. It made Harry’s stomach flip. He hadn’t planned to be so bold but escaping a reporter from the Daily Prophet always took priority.

He hoped Mister Franklin wasn’t following them. But even if he left them alone, almost every other person in the room was sure to assault Harry sooner or later. But he couldn’t leave yet. He had promised Kingsley he’d stay at least two hours. And now, after bumping into Malfoy, he had another reason to stay.

When Harry spotted the double doors leading to one of the balconies, he let out a sigh of relief. That could work. He gently pushed Malfoy outside, who was completely flustered at this point.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he snapped, slapping Harry’s hand away and smoothing down his robes.

“What? I really didn’t want to talk to that reporter,” Harry said shrugging.

“But why did you drag me along with you?” Malfoy studied him suspiciously and Harry noticed how he was clutching his champagne flute.

“I wanted to keep talking to you,” Harry said, surprised Malfoy had to ask.

“And what gave you the impression I wanted to keep talking to you?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Harry said, knitting his eyebrows together. “Feel free to go. It wasn’t my intention to bring you out here against your will.”

Malfoy narrowed his eyes. After a moment, he turned and walked to the edge of the balcony, resting his elbows against the railing.

It took Harry a moment to realise Malfoy wasn’t leaving after all. He was waiting for Harry to join him. Harry made sure the goofy smile had somewhat vanished before he stepped up beside Malfoy, mimicking his pose, and looked out to the garden below.

“It’s a little bit like Romeo and Juliet, isn’t it?” Harry said, relishing the sudden quietness around them.

Malfoy let out a snort and Harry was pretty sure he was rolling his eyes.

“For that you’d have to be standing down there, you knobhead.”

Harry blinked.

“I didn’t mean… I just meant the setting reminds me of-” He raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying you’d want me to be standing down there, serenading you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Malfoy muttered. But Harry had the impression his cheeks were getting pinker by the second. “Besides, Romeo didn’t serenade Juliet.”

“He didn’t? Huh. I thought he did,” Harry said frowning. “Well that’s good I guess. I’m rubbish at singing.”

There was a long silence after that and Harry wondered what Malfoy was thinking about. He heard him take a deep breath before he finally spoke again.

“I guess we are a bit like Romeo and Juliet.”

Harry looked at him in astonishment.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, our families weren’t exactly enemies but I have often wondered what would have happened if my father hadn’t- if it weren’t for my father…maybe it wouldn’t have been impossible. Or forbidden.”

“Forbidden,” Harry repeated dumbstruck. “You mean to say…”

“I’m not saying anything,” Malfoy said quickly, clamping his mouth shut.

“I think you just did,” Harry insisted, giving the other man a toothy grin. “I have to admit, when I saw you tonight I didn’t think it would lead up to this.”

Malfoy didn’t reply and just stared at the fountain in the middle of the garden below them.

“It’s not too late, you know,” Harry said quietly. “We could still… well, how about we start with dinner?”

“Dinner?” Malfoy sounded skeptical. When he gulped down the rest of his champagne, Harry couldn’t contain a snicker.

“Dinner.” He turned to Malfoy and bit his lip. “All you have to do is say yes.”

When Malfoy didn’t say anything, Harry tentatively moved his hand down the railing and placed it on the other man’s.

“Just say yes.”

Harry watched as the corner’s of Malfoy’s mouth twitched and his body gave a little shiver.

“It’s that easy?”

“Yes,” Harry said. Malfoy cleared his throat and kept his eyes on the garden while his lips stretched into a smile.

“Is that a yes?” Harry asked. Malfoy turned his head to look at him, his eyes shining brightly.

“Yes, you twit! It’s a yes.”


Inspiration

things we found out about evak in todays clip:

  • they wear matching outfits,,,,,,,,who even-
  • even drew a drawing of his and isaks face “morphed together” and put it up on their wall,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,gross(which is originally drawn by pernille eleonora dieckmann!!!)
  • some other things that one can find on their wall: the “alt er love” quote, memes, drawings that were probably drawn while even was high and/or drunk, nas quotes, one of the pieces of papers that even gave to isak before they got together for real, a picture of a hamburger with a piercing(?????), the iconic pictures of a woman wearing a chador etcetc
  • there are clothes(and hats) everywhere meaning they’re both really messy(or they just felt like throwing their clothes off the second isak got home, whatever works)
  • they still have the duvets that isak would not change in season three, and i’m guessing he didn’t get better at changing them so
  • their wifi name is “yellow curtains”???? who even are they????
  • even does everything for isak bc isak is his baby, which has resulted in isak not knowing how to make tea(so when his friend asks for tea, he solves this with putting a tea bag in warm tap water,,,like,,,,)
  • they have a balcony, where they sit at night and have deep conversations and passionate make out sessions don’t even argue with me on this one
  • they have a big tv right by their bed, so even probably stays up a bit too late at night watching “friday” or some documentary about penguins or something weird while he holds isak close and slowly strokes his head
  • their curtains, drawers and chairs all match i-
  • they opened the door together like an old married couple and i dont even know what to say about that
  • they have fifa and there is not a single trace of doubt in my body that they’ve spent long hours playing that game, but since even somehow is a lot better than isak, isak always ends up getting mad and telling even how he wants to go to bed early(although this all changes when even cuddles him and tells him what a great fifa player he is)
  • even finally got himself a watch which he actually uses!!!!!
  • they’ve been together for a good few months but isak still gets all blushy as soon as even calls him 
  • they have “the chair” and i have never related to skam more in my life
  • they sure have a lot of shoes for only being two people 
  • even is so tall and i cannot cope like did you see his neck when he kissed isak wow im-
  • isak loves and trust even enough to be okay with the fact that there are some major things about even that he does not know and i think that’s is beautiful
Some hilarious prompts #2

(bcs why not) Finally my collection of text posts will get in use omgg :D:D:DD:

(is possible to be customized)
(Send me requests with 1/1+ prompt/s. I write about a lot of fandoms and also a lot of different things : one shots/scenarios/imagines/headcanons/chats/conversations/aesthetics/alomst anything) REQUESTS ARE OPEN! (for promts from this list and from the first one)

82. Do you ever talk to a person and your heart starts doing some dubstep shit.

83. If you can’t deal with my sarcasm, I can’t deal with being your friend. 

84. I’m nothing but a constant state of internal screaming at this point.

85. I went to the beach once, 500 years later I still have fucking sand in my shoes.

86. How long after arriving at someone’s house is it appropriate to ask for the WiFi password?

87. Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

88. Thanks elevators, for bringing me up when I was down.

89.  Here’s a little song I like to call “I cherish our friendship so I won’t tell you I would totally have sex with you if you asked.”

90. A: Do you ever get the urge to get up in the middle of the night while everyone else  is fast asleep and just walk places and be completely and entirely dedicated to your thoughts?
      B: Yea, but the problem is I don’t want to get murdered. You feel me. 

91. Let me sleep in your stupid t-shirts and hold your dumb hand, you piece of shit.

92. need a gang to follow me around all day and clap when I make jokes.

93.  You know that feeling when you’re not your favourite person’s favourite person, and it kind of feels like you’re constantly swallowing sand.

94. “Stop being so dramatic” they say, “I don’t know what you mean” I say as I descent from the ceiling, surrounded by mist.

95. Just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot.

96. Studies show that I literally did not ask.

97. A: It doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside…
      B: Whew!!! good
      A:…It’s who you are on the inside!
      B: Ah, fuck!

98.  A (puts their hand over their crush’s): Ha ha how’d that get there?

99. I express my emotions in long groans at different octaves.

100. I mean you piss me off, but I’d do anything for you.

101. Honestly, sometimes you just gotta let me be dramatic. Because I will get over it. But let me be dramatic first!

102. Do you ever feel like a 4 times divorced 45 year old woman that smokes cigarettes in her fur coats on a grand piano? Cause I do and it’s sad.

103. Single, not sure how to mingle.

104. I love it when people rant to me, like yes, I am entrusted with your hate.

105. My idea of flirting is making fun of each other, until one of us fucks up and says something nice.

106. A: I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking slut.
        B: I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking virgin.

107. Do you live on Elm Street, because you’re a nightmare.

108. Remember your parents told you to take out the trash? I’m the trash. They were telling you to take me out. Date me.

109. You know, liking someone and pretending you don’t is a lot of hard work.

110. How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked and on top of you?

111.  A (whispering): I really like you and want to kiss you a lot.
        B: What?
        A: I said you suck.

112. Have you ever accidentally befriended someone who is very very irritating?

113.  If you step on a person’s foot they open their mouth, just like a trash can.

114. How do I get over someone I never even dated?

115. Things I want - snuggles. Things get - struggles.

116. If you see me and I’m not wearing black, you saw wrong, that’s not me.

117. Why do we need to watch the sky to enjoy the stars, when the ulitimate star is me.

118. I hate when It’s so hot outside and a bitch tells you to take your jacket off, like bitch no, this is my outfit.

119. If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.

120. I don’t think I’ve ever shut up in my entire life.

121. A: You don’t talk much.
        B: I’m observing your weaknesses since you’re so freely verbalizing everything about yourself.

122.  A: My kink is when people actually care about my feelings and what I have to say
         B: Too unrealistic, settle for bondage like the rest of us.

123. A: Your future self is watching you right now through your memories.
        B: Not if I get drunk enough.

124. A: Is there a word between angry and sad?
        B: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated.
        A: Smad.
        B: Oh my gOD.

125. Does the pale glow of my computer make me look hot?

126. Rest in peace to all the hours of sleep I’ve lost to overthinking.

127. You know it’s really rude to talk while I’m interrupting.

128. Is “no” an emotion, because I feel it?

129.  I always look sleep deprived is that hot?

130. If you listen carefully you can hear me whisper “shut the fuck up” at least once every five minutes.

131. I’m kind of hurt, kind of offended, kind of not planning on saying anything about it.

132.  I’m tired 8 days a week.

133. I don’t trust people who look good with messy hair.

134.  I may be a shitty friend, but I’m your shitty friend.

135. Seven billion people on this planet and I have 2 friends. What is wrong with people, like put some effort in it, I’m not just gonna come and do the job for you.

136.  I’m sorry, is my swag distracting you?

137. I aspire to get to that level of hot when my hair looks like shit and I smell like black coffee and yesterday’s eyeliner is smudged under my eyes, but I still look fine as hell.

138. A: No, listen! What if one day you just turned into an almond and you couldn’t do anything about it because you were just a fucking almond?!
       B: You need to get laid, you weirdo.

139. A: You wear that a lot.
        B: That’s because I’m the main character of the story here, peasant.

140.  I don’t “dress to impress”, I dress to depress. I want to look so good that people hate themselves.

141. Behind every great man is me, checking out that ass.

142. The future is now, old man.

143. Seriously, all you do is bitch.

144. Are you trying to seduce me? Because so far you’re doing a great job.

145. Forgive and forget? More like resent and remember.

146. I’m that kind of person who between two choices always picks the wrong one.

147. I know what you’re going through, I read “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”.

148. Excuse me, I hate to go and vomit.

149. A: One day I hope I am the girl that walks into a room and all eyes are on her.
        B: The trick is to get a really big hat and scream.

150.  So tired of being human, I want to be a flower.

151. Screenshots don’t scare me, I know what the fuck I said!

152. I’m sorry for what I said, I was hungry.

153. A: Don’t buy a girl flowers. Flowers die. Buy her a dragon.
        B: Because dragons don’t die?
        A: Because it’s hard to say “no” to something that can murder you instantaneously.

154. I want to be rebellious, but I don’t want to get in trouble.

155. A to B: Breaking news: being an asshole all the time doesn’t make you complicated and mysterious, it just makes you an asshole

156. You know it’s really rude to talk while I’m interrupting.

157. One of these days I’m going to roll my eyes too hard and I’m gonna go blind.

158. I’m not a hint taker, you need to speak up.

159. Why allow yourself to be full of hate, when you can be full of pasta instead?

160. I’m an angry person and I want to let it all out and be an asshole, but I’m also a nice person and I don’t want to actually hurt anyone’s feelings, do you feel me?

J2 NolaCon 2017 Main Panel
  • J2 jump onstage!
  • Jensen moving the chairs closer together before the panel even starts :)
  • Jensen doing the Who Dat song for the New Orleans Saints. 
  • Jared says the city killed his phone: “I’m trying to navigate to where Jensen is and it won’t work. Saw a lot of the city!” Referring to his adventures last night walking around NOLA. 
  • He was wandering around Bourbon Street trying to get cell service: “Searching…my buddy had already left and gone to the hotel.” 
  • Jared stopped at a bar for WiFi and someone told him, “Oh, so you’re dressed up as Sam Winchester from Supernatural” and they weren’t impressed when they found out he was the real deal. “So, you dress like him, too?” 
  • Since Jared’s phone died on him he got to rediscover what it’s like to walk around a new city without any phone gadgets. 
  • Jared says there’s gonna be Alex in the gag reel, and s13′s reel might be really long. 
  • J2 hopes that Alex will come to conventions soon!
  • Jared says “hazing” and Jensen says “welcome package” on the breaking-in of Alex. 
  • Jensen on Alex: It’s the first time they had to wrap me and him (Jared) first so the other person could work lol. 
  • J2 to Alex, who was worried about laughing in so many takes: “It’s okay, all your bosses know we’re assholes.” 
  • Question about lead roles. Jared: You mean Sam or Dean? You said lead roles. 
  • Jared jokes Misha has the best job in showbiz because he barely works and people think he’s a lead. If he could play anyone else it’d be Cas. 
  • Lead supporting roles? Jensen: I hear those come in briefs, also. 
  • Jensen jokes about Misha’s presence in the black room at the end of 13x03.  
  • Jensen, referring to the end of 13x03, says: Misha filmed that last scene in his bedroom. Jared: They took out all the toys…VFX’d away all the toys. Jensen walks away laughing. 
  • Jensen would be a wendigo ‘cause he’d be taller than Jared :P
  • Jared jokes that he wants to be a shapeshifter so someone else can play their characters but still get paid. 
  • Jared: I’d be a shapeshifter. Oh no, I shift myself… ba dum dum. Jensen tried so hard not to laugh. Couldn’t do it. Instead: “you shifted yourself AGAIN.” 
  • Jensen: Dean is in a turbulent state, lots of anger that’s a stage of grieving. You’ll see a transition in Dean about Jack, between now and ep 10. 
  • In s2 when Jensen saw the script saying he had to take a crowbar to the Impala he was like nooo. 
  • Jensen talks about taking things apart with his hands. J2 are now miming correcting a picture on the wall. 
  • During a scene there was a painting that had to be crooked for continuity and Jensen threw something in the scene and it swung into place lol. 
  • Jared: How funny would it have been if instead you just stopped and casually fixed it? 
  • Trick to emotional scenes? Jared doesn’t lie while acting, he just tells someone else’s truth. 
  • Jared: I love Sam! His hair is so great! Jensen: You say his hair is so gray? *makes face behind him* Jared: Dude I can see you! Jensen feigns innocence. 
  • Jared: I don’t like the word “tricks” when talking about being emotional. Jensen: I like to use tricks. 
  • Jensen: We’ve lived with these characters for so long that we naturally get emotional and no longer have to delve into our own emotions. 
  • Jensen is answering for Jared about how they get prepared and into the character’s heads for emotional scenes. 
  • “I love these characters…so if they’re going through something, I feel that. “
  • Jensen whispered “instinctual” right before Jared did. 
  • Jensen talks about how Jared reads script over and over whereas he goes into it more visceral and Jared builds on Jensen’s answer, links to Sam’s tendency toward research versus Dean being more reactive. 
  • J2 talking about Kim Manners. Jared: “He set the tone.” He wanted to make sure they had fun making the show. 
  • Jensen could talk for a week about how amazing Kim Manners was. 
  • Jensen about KM: “He put us on a path to succeed and we’ve been honoring him ever since.”
  • Jared: Kim truly cared about people. 
  • Jared goes wide-eyed when a baby screams in the audience. 
  • Jensen is excited about Stranger Things. 
  • Therapy question. Jared to a fellow parent: We also take our kids to a therapist because of our situation. Daddy isn’t around a lot. They want to help the kids understand why he’s not around so much. 
  • Gen and Jared go to counseling to learn how to parent the best they can especially with Jared not being around often. 
  • Jensen says acceptance is one of the biggest things we’re teaching in his home. Wants to teach his kids that they are loved and they give love. 
  • Fan. Hi I’m (name) from (St) Jared: Why did you have to read your name off your phone lol? 
  • J2 are fighting again about gif vs jif lol. Jensen: Jif is peanut butter! Gif is on your phone. 
  • Jared says single best part of being a celebrity is sending gifs of yourself to non celebrities. Jensen agrees. He loves text battling their friends with SPN gifs :P Jared’s fav gif of himself is the L’Oreal ones. Has sent it to everyone he knows lol.
  • Jensen: There are a lot of Supernatural gifs. I was like, hey, Jared, we’re popular…
  • Jared deferring to gif because Jensen said so. Jensen: Jared can be taught. 
  • Fan: First of all I wanna know if you have any single friends? Jensen walks over and points at Stephen . 
  • Do you like classic rock? Jensen: I like Big Butts. Jared: He does. 
  • Jensen: I named my kid Zeppelin. 
  • They’ve been trying to get Metallica on the show since day one. Finally got them this season. 
  • Jared: I have put everything I have into Sam. Jensen: makes a surprised/smirky face ;) Jensen laughs and Jared whispers something, Jensen laughs again. 
  • Sam has taught Jared a lot, including how he perseveres. 
  • Jared used the word indubitably while answering. Jensen: Did you just say indubitably? We talked about this, you’re embarrassing me. 
  • Jensen says there was more of a connection between he and Dean in the beginning seasons but now there’s a separation. Jensen: Sometimes I say, what would Dean do? 
  • Jared: Sam’s current position on Jack is how he feels about himself. Sam wants to believe he can be good. So he needs Jack to be good. 
  • Jensen talks about directing and how Bob Singer doesn’t need a bunch of notes like Jensen. While Jensen had a complete road map, Singer just had one note, “the ole switcheroo” to remind him of how he wanted a scene to go lol. 
  • Jared mentions Will and Grace. Jensen: Who will you be in this scenario? 
  • If there was an SPN movie, Jared wouldn’t want to use foul language. Jensen: *horrified face* Jared: I know words longer than four letters :P
  • Fan asks a question about what filming was like for Jensen and Sam Smith when Mary saw Baby for the first time. Jensen is confused, thinking Sam the character. Jensen: The scene took on a different tone in shooting than it had in the script. Jared: for Dean or Jensen? 
  • Last question: The scene where Dean sees Mary remembering what happened in Baby wasn’t scripted. That was Bob Singer. 
  • J2 thank the fans and give a fist bump before heading off stage :)

Info via: Fangasm, Cherie, Eileen, LullysSil’s livetweet list

The Celebrity Magazine; Fall 2017 Issue
Chanyeol’s Interview

Question: You have a very strong image of optimism. Haven’t you ever wanted to break from that?
Chanyeol: When i was younger i thought my bright and optimistic image would create certain preconceptions for the music i wanted to compose, so i wanted to break away from the image, but these days i compose without thinking about that kind of thing. Because there is bound to be someone who enjoys that kind of music too. I’m living comfortably with that thought.

Question: I’ve heard that you got in trouble from your mother when you told her you wanted to raise a mouse that got caught in a mouse trap. Do you like animals?
Chanyeol: Animals are like family to me. I’ve always had animals with me since i was a child. These days i have no time to raise a pet because i’m busy, but i play with the dog at my parents’ place whenever i visit. Unfortunately i’ve developed a cat fur allergy which i didn’t have when i was younger, so i have to be careful.

Question: Your low voice is so nice to listen to. I’m curious about which songs you enjoy singing.
Chanyeol: I like singing. I sing Jung Jun Il sunbae-nim’s “Hug Me” a lot. I’ve even uploaded myself singing it in my own style. There are people who are surprised when i sing because they only know me as a rapper. Before i wanted to gain recognition for my singing, but these days i don’t feel that it’s necessary to worry myself like that.

Question: Not feeling the need to worry yourself can be seen as a sign of maturity. Was there a moment that caused it?
Chanyeol: My personality is rather impatient. I feel the need to do things immediately and feel anxious when i don’t. When i look at it i think the moment that helped me was all the bowling i did when i found myself with time to spare. I got impatient that i couldn’t control the bowl properly so clung to it for two months bowling until early morning, but i actually bowled better after a two month break when i went back with an easier mind. I control myself with the thought of ‘If i get it it’s good and if i don’t get it i’ll make it eventually’. Maybe it’s because personalities don’t change but i’m still impatient.

Question: Any songs that you find touching?
Chanyeol: I couldn’t understand them when i was younger but these days i really love songs by Black Skirt and Lee Sora sunbaenim. I was looking up their songs and suddenly found myself overcome with emotion, almost as though something was flowing into me.

Question: I’m curious about your current playlist.
Chanyeol: Amy Winehouse, Migos, Aerosmith, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC and more. There are also songs from the OST of the animation <Your Name>, which i watched recently.

Question: What did you like about <Your Name>?
Chanyeol: I like the subtle emotions that you find in Japanese films. I think i get pulled in very easily by the hooks Shinkai Makoto sets up. Of course the visuals are beautiful, but i really enjoyed the introduction of fantasy elements in a still realistic setting. The fact that the main protagonist went through a great deal of events but couldn’t remember any of it was sad.

Question: You debuted in 2012. Do you have any aspirations for your music as an idol of 5 years?
Chanyeol: EXO has always shown a new, trendy and constantly changing side of us in our own unique colours. You could see each member growing obviously for each album. I have faith in the company, so i believe that we will continue to grow in the future. I have a lot of passion for music personally too. At the moment i just want to enjoy myself with the music as it comes, without feeling as though i have to do something. It isn’t a greed from impatience, i could call it more of a greed to do better.

Question: Is there anything that influences your music?
Chanyeol: My surroundings. When i see someone who’s talented in music i want to be talented like them. I get the same desire when i meet an artist i respect or see a good performance. These days i pray alot before composing too. Praying helps me go into composing by letting me collect my thoughts and putting me in a calmer state.

Question: I’m curious about the artists you like.
Chanyeol: I’m a fan of Jamie Cullum. I like his voice and the way he plays the piano. I’m also a fan of pianist Yoon Suk Chul’s works. He’s so talented to the point where i think ‘he must be the god of piano’. I learn a lot from composing with him. I listen to a variety of genres but jazz and rock are my constants.

Question: You contributed in writing the lyrics of a song in your 4th official album. Is it an autobiographical story?
Chanyeol: No. ‘Sweet Lies’ is a story very far from me. I thought alot about what i would be like if i was a bad boy, but the style doesn’t really fit with me so it was a little difficult (laughs). G. Soul composed and wrote the lyrics for the frame of the song and when i first heard the melody i thought that kind of story would suit it.

Question: You’ve been called a ‘face prodigy’. What do you think when you look into the mirror.
Chanyeol: I admit it (laughs) I feel proud occasionally when i look in the mirror. I usually wear black clothing without accessorising very much. I started off thinking ‘I’ll be okay even though i’m wearing this’ but i stick to it now because it’s so comfortable. Comfort is the most important for going to the studio and bowling alley, home and so on. So i don’t really have much of an interest for appearances but when there’s a schedule and i look in the mirror with makeup i think ‘as expected’ (both laugh)

Question: You were wearing the so-called three-lined slippers at London, you’re even wearing them now.
Chanyeol: That’s right. These are the shoes and pants i wore then. I wore them because they were comfortable but even the London people were surprised. I told them it was outerwear clothes.

Question: As an artist, there are people who don’t hesitate on stage but are shy in front of a camera. Conversely, there are people who shine both on stage and enjoy themselves as a celebrity on variety shows or dramas. Which side do you lean towards?
Chanyeol: The former. There are lots of people that think i don’t talk when i go on variety shows and on top of that i’m very shy so it takes me a while to get comfortable. I still try though. I like seeing new sides of me so i always like a new challenge.

Question: I’m curious on how you feel about Seoul as someone who’s travelled all over the world.
Chanyeol: Even though i don’t feel particularly different when i’m overseas, the first thought i have when i come to Seoul is ‘Oh! I’m home’. When i come to Incheon airport and take my phone off airport mode, it’s convenient that the wifi works well. I don’t go around very much overseas.

Question: Last question. What gives you inspiration these days?
Chanyeol: Myself. Not because i’m particularly special but because i’m thinking a lot about myself. In the end i think all things conclude with yourself. So i find myself gaining inspiration for the types of music i really want to do.

Translation by fyeah-chanyeol
(Please take out with full credits)

A Starting Path to Spirit Work (but abbreviated)

(Apologies, it’s rather late as I’m writing on this and I have no wifi and I’ve gone past my data limit. I won’t be able to link large resources and such at this moment, and the format could definitely be better. And I could go much more indepth but for the current moment this is what I have on tumblr mobile.)

PROTECTION

Okay, this is the most common and I understand repetitive lesson. Protect yourself! Protect your home and your spirit friends! Protect and ward!

There are physical wards where the a physical spell or object is set up as the ward. Like maybe you have a crystal grid that you set up to protect your home. That would be an example of physical protection!

There are astral wards where you simply set them up in the astral (the other plane where spirits generally reside or originate from, not everyone but trying to make a general point on clarifying the difference the physical plane from the astral plane). Like you can build a giant water bubble to protect and enclose yourself!

There are great recipes for wards and protection spells that can work for you, but you don’t need to follow anyone’s recipe to make a ward. You can make one a multitude of ways. Sure, yours doesn’t follow a $25 ingredient list, but that doesn’t make it inherently any less valuable or effective! If you don’t care and make it, it’ll probably be less effective than one of strong intent, of course.

Personally I rely on astral wards more than physical wards, but that’s a personal preference. Wards I make myself are also more efficient than the ones I try to copy from others by directions but personal differences. When I say I made them, I thought about the concept of spicy peppers and I designed three wards off that alone, so intent and direction is what you really need to make wards.

If you prefer following someone else’s recipe to help, there is absolutely no harm in that! Go for it! But don’t feel like you can and have to rely only on the recipes you find on tumblr!

Note: Even if you do not have a companion, you still need wards. I would most definitely recommend it. Even if you have no companion to protect, you should still ward and protect yourself and your space!

Protect yourself and your home. Remember to take care of yourself.

You can set up personal wards that protect the person or being you set them up around like a personal bodyguard or protection. Or you can set it up for an object, place or setting. Like for your space! And you should protect yourself. I’m nagging you for your own safety.

Protect yourself from malicious beings who straight up just wanna fight you, others who might sneak in and just leech off, or those who might decieve you to get in and then harm you. Not every spirit has malicious intent or purpose, and most of them haven’t in my experience, but you should be safe and protect yourself the best you can from those occasions where bad news is knocking on your door.

When you have companions or spirit family, you’ll have more reasons to practice warding and have more wards, but that should not stop you from learning warding and being well protected yourself before then!

You can have wards that serve to protect you from attacks, and others to keep out liars. But you determine your wards, not me.

The thing is, the more the merrier, and the more variety the better! Cover all your bases. Maybe a water ward might keep out more fire-based spirits but water spirits might have an immunity. Or if you had 10+ wards with the same weakness and a malicious spirit finds out how to get past one, they get past all of them since they have the key for the same 10 doors.

You should regularly keep them running, and also do a bigger maintenance. But remember than constant smaller checkups are important too. Do small checkups often, and a big checkup regularly. I do small checkups daily, and weekly big maintenance because it’s important and better safe than well, not safe.

ENERGY WORK

I may have been too long-winded in the protection section and this section is gonna be lacking in comparison but it’s still needed.

You should have a basis in energy work. Learn how to sense energy, like presences, be able to read them, maybe not in a “I can give you a 5 page summary about this person about their energy” but I can tell this spirit has malicious or unsafe intent towards me so I should step away and turn them away. And telling them apart.

Like a spirit comes home, and you should practice how to tell the difference between Sam the kitten spirit and Feraligator the chihuahua spirit. Although you don’t need to be a master of energy work to start in spirit work, but you should have basics or a solid starting ground.

You can completely struggle with this, while going into spirit work but be willing to keep trying. It’s important and a helpful fundamental and can lead into spirit work, but you can definitely go into spirit work without being an expert energy worker or an energy healer.

COMMUNICATION

Without a doubt, you’re gonna want to have a conversation or communicate with spirits in spirit work.

I’m gonna be honest, you will not have 100% clarity when you begin. Minus a few rare exceptions of people. But ignoring those exceptions and miracles, be prepared for the actuality of communication.

You’ll start out with fragmented conversation. You’ll depend and start with divination, like pendulums, dice, and tarot cards to talk.

The start of the road begins with asking the spirits yes or no questions, or whatever maybe the pendulum board or your tools are limited to. Or you’ll use tarot, which is less yes/no but it’s still not a whole conversation like you would expect between two people. But you’ll have to build up and grow from there. You’ll practice and keep going.

Beyond your tools, the next tier to practice is telepathy and astral hearing.

I don’t think they are exactly the same, but you may disagree. I understand and respect that. Telepathy is direct communication through your minds with thoughts (this is off the top of the mind and I am typing this in one sitting. I will check and correct myself, and edit it if I am wrong, don’t worry).

Some spirits only communicate with scattered words, images and emotions. That just may be their preference and method of communication in telepathy, regardless of how well you can hear them.

Others may be able to talk in complete conversations like you’d expect from another human. But they may simplify what they’re saying to you so that you understand, or cooperate other ways because they understand you can’t catch everything they say.

For me, I think astral hearing is different where they speak in the astral out loud and everyone can hear it. But if your hearing is bad, you might not catch it, and that way, I don’t consider it the same as telepathy where they would just send their thoughts straight to your mind. You can improve your astral senses with effort, trying, and exercise.

Either way, you will practice and grow. Keep going, I believe in you.

Even when you get to that point where you can regularly hear astral conversations and use telepathy, you should still remember to keep your tools. They’ll help you double check yourself, and get you through lulls where it’ll get even harder so your senses will be limited.

INTERACTION WITH SPIRITS

There are two ways you can find and meet new spirits or strangers. Either you can meet your local spirits or go out into the astral but that’s not a beginner concept. However if you do wanna hear about that more, I’ll discuss that by request.

Okay, let’s talk about local spirits. Meeting and communicating with local spirits is the best way to practice before a committment like companionship or running into the astral blindly.

Nature spirits tend to be much kinder and patient, especially considering you’ll take time to practice and learn. The easiest spirits to bear with you for practice are rock/crystal spirits and your own garden and plant spirits.

Although there are definitely a few that aren’t friendly at all, it’s safer than running into the astral. And as far as I know, most people can go outside much more easily and already know how, over learning from scratch how to astral project and travel and being prepared for everything it has to offer (dangers and otherwise).

Note: You do not need to know how to astral travel or project to work with spirits, and you can hang out with spirits even if you can’t travel all the way to their apartment in the astral. You can chill and watch Netflix in your room together even if you can’t travel.

EVEN AFTER YOU GROW

You’re gonna keep warding and learning protection spells. When I became a mod, I learned that I had to upgrade and add MORE. You’ll need them, you’ll want them, and you’ll appreciate them. Even the failures will become a start to building better and more efficient wards. So keep going. We all nag about protection, but we’re absolutely serious.

You’re gonna keep learning and you’ll have a different path from others. You will hit roadblocks and communication will get harder some days, whether it’s from a lull, or low spoons or anything.

Take a step sideways, yeah, but that’s movement. And it won’t stop you from progress. The worst thing is to not practice honestly and be apathetic.

(It’s honestly quite late here, I’m physically tired and a little sick, so sorry if anything got messy or confusing. If you have anything you want me to talk on, clarify or discuss further, shoot us an ask.)

Disclaimer: I haven’t stopped learning, so there’s much more you can read on, and more others can offer you on the subject, so never be afraid to ask others for help and advice too. And terms may slightly differ from being to being, so there’s also that to account for, and other people may have different answers for you too! So keep on adventuring and gathering knowledge.

-Mod Spark

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialised area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theatre full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

Suga Daddy: Part 10

Suga Daddy: Part 10 (m)

Word count: 7.7k

Genre/Warnings: smut, angst, language

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Summary: You want to confront Elizabeth about what’s going on. You’re not ready to give up on Yoongi.

The movie nerd came on in me so if you get the Beatrix Kiddo reference, let me know and I will love you forever! :)

Parts: {playlist} one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine


You felt sick, this week was going by so fast with Yoongi. All the time you spend together was clouded by the crippling fact that he was going to be taken from you soon enough. You tried to enjoy your time but it was just becoming harder and harder. Your moods were swinging from happiness to when you were with him. To sadness and crying yourself to sleep. But also anger, even at Yoongi for not trying.

Keep reading

GOT7 Reaction to -

You grabbing their dick through their jeans while making out

Request;

Got7 reaction to you grabbing that dicc through their jeans while your making out?? TY MOM ILY 💜💜💜

a/n:

i’m sorry for the wait, it’s just school and such keep me pretty busy, and i probably won’t write a lot starting 2 or so weeks from now, because of exams. But thank you all for being so kind and patient!

Also it’s one am and my wifi isn’t working well, so the gifs aren’t great, but I hope you don’t mind.

no gifs here are mine; credits go to the owners

BAMBAM:

Well, I see him wanting to be one way like, ‘yea baby I know it’s big’ but honestly he’d probably blush first. Bambi would feel your hand and his cheeks would turn red, since he didn’t expect it. He would end up breaking the make out session since he laughed out of embarrassment. But really as cocky as he would want to be, he’d just get all blush.

“Y-your hand is on my… dick… yea”
You “Do you want me to move it?”
“W-well n-no”
You “Alright, shut up so we can keep kissing.”

JAEBUM:

I can see him as one to expect it. Like in the moment, he’d want it/feel it coming. When you rubbed his dick, he’d groan a little. Jaebum, would honestly find it so hot dom mode activated it would make the make out session a little more than just A Make Out Session. Also if you moved your hand, you best believe he’ll grab it and place it back where it was.

“Fuck baby, you really know what to do.”

JACKSON:

I wanna say this would make him kinda playful in a way, but overall like more turned on. Since I do see Jackson as more of a playful lover, he would really enjoy it. He would chuckle, and possibly grind against your hand. I mean really, he’d just be set off and lookin’ for a fun night. 

“Did I ever tell you how good you are with your hands?”

JINYOUNG:

Jinyoung would be one to tease you for doing such a thing. I feel as though he’d really enjoy it. The movement of your hand would immediately change the mood making him more needy. He’d place his hand on top of yours and move it to create more friction for himself.

“Who knew you were so dirty baby.”

MARK:

For him, it would change his mood. It would probably lead him to be more in control. He would take your hand off his crotch and pin it above you/or hold it. He would probably grind against the two of you, so you both got friction. I mean this man here to please. As for being embarrassed or anything, not really, it would be normal for make out sessions to go in that direction. 

“Somehow, you always make me like this.”

YOUNGJAE:

Literally, he’d be So Embarrassed. This little sugar plum would end up blushing like there was no tomorrow. I mean he’s already so subby as is and it’s so cute. He would definitely get more embarrassed than Bambi, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t like it. As he would get more comfortable with you, he’d end up asking for more.

“You can’t just do that and not give me more.”

YUGYEOM:

Sugar plum baby 2.0. I see him going 2 ways, depending on his mood for the night. Either melting into you, or taking control. However, I think more often than not, he’d end up melting into you. He would blush, but the kiss would carry on. He’d probably grip you tighter as a way to signal you for more.

“Please, more than that, I need you.”

-Admin A

Would You Be So Kind

I want to dedicate this fic to @nerdyadventures , who also beta this fic. You were with me for almost the beginning of the story and there is no way this would be the story it is today without your support, I don’t have words to tell you how thankful I am for you and I’m sorry this story haunted you even in your dreams. For @ltrumbley@bananannabeth @keekal and @artemisrae too, you guys helped me so much even if you didn’t realize it. Y por ultimo para @vithcytries eres una campeona y te agradezco tanto por cuidar mi espalda.

For the PJO/HOO Big Bang 2017.


I’m pathetic’ Annabeth thought while she clicked on the next picture, ‘very, very pathetic.’ It was a Saturday night, her roommates were out in some club having the time of their lives and what was she doing? Sitting on her bed stalking her crush on Instagram. To make things worse her crush was also her best friend for over ten years, her brain yelled at her to leave her phone but she clicked on another picture, it was of her and Percy on Montauk, his arm was around her waist and she was wearing his snapback, they both were grinning at each other and they looked so…couply. Her heart squeezed in pain. She looked at the date and tried not to groan, the picture had been posted 145 weeks ago. When did she go so deep into his page? Well, being fair, he didn’t post that often and most of the time it was random pictures and barely pictures of him unless he was with his friends (her heart did a whole routine when she realized he had more pictures with her than with anyone else)

Annabeth threw the phone on her bed. She should have gone out with Piper and Hazel but she wasn’t really feeling it, she wasn’t feeling like doing anything. Work had been brutal that week, her bosses had overworked her, leaving Annabeth laying on her bed wondering if it was worth it walking to the kitchen for a glass of wine or going back to stalk Percy’s pictures? She was sure he had a few of shirtless ones…The sound of the doorbell made her jump, she wasn’t expecting anyone and Piper and Hazel had their own keys. She did a quick check of her clothes, an oversized gray sweater, and some old constellation pj’s pants, she looked as presentable as she could be.

With one last groan, she left the room, putting her hair up in a bun. “Who is it?”

“The love of your life.” Annabeth recognized the voice, a smile forming on her lips.

“Is it you pizza? Have you finally come to elope with me?” A familiar laughter came from the door just as Annabeth was reaching to open it, revealing the man whose pictures she was obsessing over a few minutes ago.

“Unfortunately it’s Chinese not pizza,” Percy said with a smile that melted her, he looked good, too good for someone who just came out of work and was stuck on a long train ride to Brooklyn, it should be illegal to look effortlessly good. “But I hope you can still take me.”

Annabeth sighed dramatically. “I guess I can make an exception for tonight,” She took the bags from his hands and walked back inside, Percy following her. “And what do I have the honor of your lovely visit tonight?”

“I missed my best friend, isn’t that enough of a reason to come here unannounced?” He walked to the kitchen and started pulling plates from the cabinets. “Piper and Hazel aren’t home?”

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