so i was like i should gif this later

Boyfriend sounds lame -Tom Holland

A/N: I gave my mom a minor heart attack because I googled pregnancy tests for this imagine bfkdj This one feels a little rushed because I have a huge writers block-_- Enjoy?

You were alone in your bathroom, staring at the two pink lines. Who thought that two so unimportant seeming pink lines could change your whole life. Your hands were trembling, your mind still trying to comprehend what this meant, your body refusing to accept it all.
A knock pulled you out of your trance and your head shot up, a tear rolling down your cheek.
“Baby are you alright in there? You’ve been in there for some time.” Tom shouted on the other side of the door and your eyes widened. You brushed over your cheeks, trying not to panick and got off the bathtub.
“Yeah I’m fine.” you called back before he could get suspisious. You shoved the test into your pocket, not risking him seeing it by throwing it into the bin.

“Hey.” you said as soon as you opened the door because he was standing right infront of you.
“Are you okay?” he asked with a concerned look on his face and you cracked a half smile.
“Yeah…just felt a little nauseous.” you shrugged your shoulders and he furrowed his brows.
“I’m fine. Stop it.” you chuckled nervously and he laid his palm against the crook of your neck and placed a gentle kiss on your temple.
“I need to rush out. But if you should feel bad again, you call me alright?”

You nodded obediently and walked him over to the front door where he put his shoes on.
You couldn’t tell him right now. Maybe it was false. You should know for sure before telling him. But doesn’t he deserve to know right away?

“Tom!” you called him as he opened the door and he stops to turn around.
He raised a questioning brow and looked into your eyes and you froze. You opened your mouth to say something but closed it again, shaking your head lightly.
“Don’t overwork yourself.” you said finally and his lips formed into a smile.
“Same goes for you, darling.” he said and leaned in to give you a last kiss before he shut the door behind him.

You decide to call in sick and go to the closest pharmacy to buy five different tests.
You stuff them into your bag immediatly and don’t take off your glasses or cap. You rush home again and procrastinate as long as possible. You are again locked in the bathroom when you here the front door open. You jump up and throw all of them into a bag and stuff it under the counter. Tom would never look there. You unlock the bathroom door and walk into the kitchen with a fluttering heart, trying to gather the courage together to tell him. Six positive tests couldn’t be a coincidence, could it?

You opend your mouth again to say something and he turned around at the same time which made you freeze. Again.
He looked tired and stressed which was always not a good time for serious discussions.
“Hey…” you said and walked over, to pull him into a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on top of your head.
“I have to fly away in the morning. For three months.” he said into the silence and your whole body stiffened.
“I know. I’m sorry. I would take you with me if I could. The last thing I want is to leave you behind right now.” he apologized but your mind was else where. Getting a child, raising a child was impossible in your relationship. He was always gone for several months. The poor child would barely know his dad. A shiver ran down your spine and you pulled away from him which he interpreted differently.

“I’m really sorry. Please don’t be mad.” he said and took your hand in his but you stepped backwards still burried in your own thoughts.
“I’m not. I’m just…tired.” you lied and turned away so he wouldn’t see the tear escaping your eye. This was impossible.


The next morning you drove him to the air port. No one said anything. Tom thought you were mad at him for leaving again but the truth was you were afraid to say anything. Afraid of breaking down and crying making him feel obligated and overwhelmed. So you said nothing.
You kissed him good bye and put on a fake smile. He knew it was fake but he couldn’t do anything about it.
“I’ll call you as soon as I land.” he said while pulling apart and you nodded.
“Take care.”

“Stay safe.”

You said your goodbyes as always and you waved after him until you couldn’t see him anymore.


You decided for yourself to see a doctor before you would tell Tom anything. To be 100% sure. There was still that tiny bit of hope in the corner of your mind that all of the tests were wrong. It’s been a month since you found out yourself and you were finally sitting in the doctors room, waiting for the doctor to come back with your results. You knew Dr.Payton for a long time so you didn’t have to wear anything to hide your identity.
“So! We have the results.” he said and you looked over your shoulder to the door where Dr.Payton just had walked in.

“Do you want to wait for Tom to come in?” he asked politely and you felt a dagger in your heart.
“Oh, no that’s not necessary. He is out of the country. You know Tom. Always busy.” you faked a chuckle and tugged your hair behind your ear to keep your hands busy.
“You’re right. You’ll tell him yourself.”

“What?” Your eyes widened and your mouth dropped.

“You’re having a baby! Congratulations!” he cheered and you laughed. He interpreted it as hapiness but it was out of pure panick.
In that moment you heared a gentle knock on the door and looked over your shoulder as a reflex. A nurse peeked her head through the gap and her eyes widened as she saw you.
“You…you’re…” she stuttered and Dr.Payton shut her down because you were in no condition to talk.
“Could you please leave us alone?” he said and his expression was ice cold.
“I’m so sorry for that. I always tell them to not come in when you are here. She must have overheared it.” he apologized but you didn’t react to that.

“I should go now.”


Two days later you were skyping with Tom who was telling you about his events and interviews. Even though you tried really hard to concentrate your mind traveled off to your concerns.
“And then I cheated on you with this really hot girl at the bar. How do you like that?”

“That’s great baby. I’m proud of you.” you answered and kept doodling in your notebook.

“Hmm?” you said and looked up from your notebook into the camera.

“What’s going on?” he asked and furrowed his brows looking into your eyes, searching for the cause of your absence.

“Nothing. Why?” you said and raised your brows innocently.

“You’re lying. I just told you that I cheated on you and you told me that you are proud of me. Either we are having an open relationship I don’t know about or you went crazy.” he joked halfheartedly and you furrowed your brows.

“You did what?” you growled and put your notbook to the side.

“That’s more like the reaction I expected.” he chuckled but it was not funny to you at all.
“It was a joke. It was a test. You were not listening.”

“I was!”

He raised his eyebrows and a smirk appeared on his lips.

“Maybe I wasn’t in that moment. But I was.” you defended yourself and crossed your arms infront of your chest.

“Alright champ. Tell me what’s going on in your pretty little head.” he said and leaned back.


“Liar, liar pants on fire. You want me to come over with a fire estinguisher?”

“You’re a moron.” you said rolling your eyes and he laughed his ass off. You just opened your mouth to say something when you heared a knock on his door.

“Wait. Hold on. I have to get that.” he said and pealed himself off the couch and put his phone on to the coffee table.
You waited while chewing on your bottom lip and tried to form the right sentences in your head.
As soon as he appeared back on your screen you opened your mouth but he interrupted you.

“I’m so sorry. I have to go. Someone messed up something and I have to fix it.” he sighed and you closed your mouth again. Maybe telling him face to face was better.
“Alright. We’ll talk later.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Take care.”

“Stay safe.”


After that you didn’t get the chance to tell him. You barely could talk to him anyways because you were always nauseous and dizzy. One time you almost fainted and had to lay down. You only had short conversations about unimportant stuff but you talked every now and then. As your condition got worse you finally decided to tell him. You felt dizzy the whole day and couldn’t get out of the bathroom. Nothing was staying in your stomach and you felt drained. You didn’t have the courage to go to the hospital out of fear someone would recognize you.

But whenever you called him he either didn’t pick up or the line was busy. This went on for three days and you were feeling helpless.
You pealed yourself off the bathroom floor, your sight blurry, your head heavy and were stumbling to your bedroom when the front door flew open and a very angry Tom stepped in.

“How dare you not tell me about our child?!” was the first thing he yelled and you felt a familiar sharp pain in your head. Oh no.
“Tom…” you stepped forward trying to tell him that you started to see black when your knees gave in and you fell to the ground.


You woke up in a bright room, a familiar beeping filling your ears, two of them actually. Your nose tickled every few seconds and your eyes fluttered open. As soon as you open your eyes you saw Tom sitting beside your bed, holding your hand with closed eyes and your heart skipped a beat.
“What happened?” you said with a sore throat and his head shot up. His eyes were filled with pure concern and fear. As soon as he looked at you, relief took the place of fear.
“Thank god you’re awake.” he said and leaned in to give you a kiss on your forhead.
“You scared me so much when you fainted.” he said with a shaky voice and kissed the top of your hand.

“What happened?” you asked again and sat up while your free hand wandered to your belly.
“You’re fine. Both of you are. You were drained because of the constant puking. Your body shut down to prevent worse. I could’ve lost you both.” he said and you could hear a little anger in his voice.

“I was scared. I am scared. I didn’t know what you would think. If you would want to keep it. If you’d be angry. If you’d be happy. If you’d leave me. I knew nothing.”

“I am scared too but that’s not a reason not to tell me.” he said a little hurt and you let your shoulders sink.

“I know. I tried to tell you several times but there was always something in between. You didn’t even pick up your phone the last few days.”

“Because I had already found out and I would have broken your heart if I had picked up.” he explained himself and you nodded.

“How’d you find out?” you finally asked and couldn’t look up.

“A nurse at Dr.Paytons posted the results. She got fired right away when they found out who it was and they took it down. I stumbled across it because of the fans congratulating me. I thought it was a bad joke at first.” he said and you looked up through your lashes into his eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. I’m sorry for not being there for you.”


8 months later you are standing at the front door and look down at your shoes.
“Tom!” you call for him and look over to the living room.
“Tom!” you call again now more impatient and hear his footsteps coming closer. He leanes against the doorframe and crosses his arms infront of his chest, trying to hide his grin.
“Stop grinning like an idiot and help mr. I can’t tie my shoelaces.” you say rolling your eyes and make him chuckle. He walks over to you and kneels down while taking your shoe laces into his hands.
“Can you see me from up there?” he jokes and ducks down to avoid your hand.

“Shut up. I can’t even see my own feet. Everything is swollen and hurts. It feels like somebody is ripping my spine out and I have shit head for a boyfriend.”

He stands up with a big grin on his face after he is finished and cups your face with his hands.
“Don’t you think that boyfriend sounds a little lame?” he askes and your eyes widen. He chuckles at your reaction and pulles away to open the front door.

“Wait. What is that supposed to mean?” you ask and turn around to look at him but he walks out of the door.

“We have an appointment. You better hurry up.”


Title: Opening Up
Character: Matt Murdock
A/n: I actually really like the whole aspect of Matt being able to hear other people’s heartbeats and knowing shit about them from it, so I spent a good couple hours listening to multiple types of heartbeat videos in certain circumstances for future reference, so expect a lot of it.

Continuation of:

Matt was making his usual route to the firm, moving his walking cane to and fro as he maneuvered his way through the busy street. It was always loud whenever he was surrounded by a sea of people all of whom he could hear the conversations of.

Matt knew all the surrounding areas of the firm, and just as he was in front of the doors to your bakery, he could hear your soft voice humming inside, causing a smile to break out on his face. He was a fan of music, but he could never tell what songs you’d play to yourself.

But, he did know that your shop was never open this early. Foggy told him in conversation once that you worked all through the week, despite having several workers to take up work.

Matt walked up to the door, his hand searching for the doorknob. As we walked inside he heard the little jingle of a bell from above the door. Instantly, the strong smell of sugar and cinnamon filled his noise. And he could hear the whirring of a mixing machine from somewhere in the back.

“Sorry! We’re not opened yet!” He could hear your voice, but it was far away. You were probably in the kitchen out back.

“Not even for a friend?” Matt asked, leaning into his cane.

There was a small crash.

“Oh, Matthew!” Your voice was closer now, he could hear your footsteps walking up to him and your hands brushing against what he assumed was an apron. “What are you doing here?”

“I was just on my way to work, thought I’d stop by and say hello,” Matt zoned in on your heartbeat, it was the same happy rhythm as always. “Just a word of advice though, you might wanna lock the door from now on.”

He heard you laugh, and he noticed that you felt a little embarrassed by your mess up. “Oh yeah, I always forget to lock it again once I’m inside.”

After a bit more chitchat you linked an arm with Matt and lead him into one of the kitchens, letting him know you had made more stuff for him, Foggy and Karen.

“I wish you’d let me pay you back for the food you make us, I think we’re all becoming spoiled.” Matt told you, holding a paper bag filled with sweets.

“Don’t worry about it, I like trying new recipes on you all. Besides, I make them on my own time so I wouldn’t accept your money.” Matt knew you had started working again, he could hear you cracking eggs against a metal bowl.

“If you’re busy I can always come back later?”

“Nah, I don’t mind the company. Everyone else comes in around 9, so I have the place to myself till then. You can head out whenever you want.”

You continued to bake, talking with Matt and letting him try various things, all of which were met with great approval until he said he should probably get going.

“One favor before you go though, one of my hairpins is falling out and I’d fix it on my own but my hands are kind of covered in honey.”

Matt smiled and walked towards you. “Those two things don’t really mix, do they?”

You laughed and turned around. “No, I’m afraid they don’t. It’s the only pin on the left side.”

He leaned his cane against the table and felt for your hair, his hands lightly brushing through the strands till he found the hard material of a pin.

Your hair was incredibly soft, it felt similar to the smooth material of the silk sheets he preferred, he could tell you took good care of it.

There it was again.

He could feel your heart rate picking up and the noise distracted him from his little task.

“Got it.” Matt said softly once he got his attention back, he took his hands out of your hair, albeit a little reluctantly and placed the pin on the table for you to grab when your hands were free.

“Thank you, now I won’t keep you any longer,” You teased, giving him back his cane and walking him to the front door and held it open for him. “I’ll see you later.”

Matt hesitated for a moment. “Would you like to go grab some coffee with me later? Whatever time suits you best, of course.”

Your heart rate went up again, and Matt had to restrain his smile as he sensed you grow flustered.

“O-Oh? I can just always make you some here if you’d like.”

Matt shook his head. “No, I’d much prefer to take you somewhere that you don’t have to do all the work for once.”

You smiled. “Okay uh, I get off around 8:30.”

“Until then.” Matt finally left your shop, listening to your heartbeat the rest of the way to the firm, twirling his cane a few times as he pictured the look on Foggy’s face once he told him who had a date with you.

“I bet you a hundred dollars he’s textin’ Y/N.” Niall muttered in Liam’s ear, the both of them turning to glance at Harry whose thumbs were currently tapping away at his phone.

“Oh, please. I’m not falling for that one. When is he not texting Y/N?” Liam snorted, reaching for the remote to change the channel. They were in the middle of watching a documentary on whales, something that you had recommended, and of course, Harry refused to watch anything but this documentary. 

“I t’ought they had gotten together already?” Niall hummed, raising a brow as he tried to remember whether you and Harry were dating or not. 

“Tha’s what I thought too! I asked Y/N about it the other day and she got super flustered and started rambling about something irrelevant.” Liam laughed lightly, jumping when the remote was snatched out of his hand. 

“Don’t change the channel! Y/N says the next part is the best part of the entire thing!” Harry clicked his tongue, switching the channels before tossing the remote on the couch. 

“Are you texting Y/N?” Niall asked, already fully aware of the answer. The way Harry was grinning cheesily at his phone, the way he’d let out a small giggle every now and then, and the way his eyes were practically glued to his phone indicated that he was most likely texting you. 


“When are you two going to get together? Everyone’s waiting.” Liam teased, turning the volume down a little due to the fact that Harry’s cheeks heating up was far more interesting than learning about how whales communicate with one another. 

“We’re not- I don’ think of her like tha’, she’s just a friend!” Harry cleared his throat, shaking his head. “Plus, if she told me she liked me, I’d probably have t’ turn her down cos I totally only think of her as a-”

“She told me she thinks you’re cute.” 

“Did she- When did- Did she really say that?” Harry perked up almost immediately, eyes twinkling with joy at the thought of you gushing about how much you liked him. Because he liked you too! (Obviously.) He really, really liked you. No one was exactly sure why the two of you hadn’t gotten together yet. Someone would have to be stupid to not see the connection that the both of you shared, but it seemed like nothing was really happening. Sure, there was harmless flirting, and sometimes Harry would stay over for a movie marathon, and sure, you let him sleep in the same bed with you and you let him pull you in for a snuggle in the morning… But you were only friends! 

“Mhm. I think you should ask her out. Pretty sure she’s waiting for it.”

“Is she? I mean, I’d have to think about where to take her, but it’s Y/N, so she’ll like anywhere I take her and even if she doesn’t like it she won’t tell me cos she’s tha’ sweet and-” 

“Can we talk about Y/N later? I love her t’ bits but t’is whale documentary is actually pretty interesting.”

“Y’know, you’re right. Sorry I’ve been on my phone this entire time. I’ll think about Y/N later because I invited you guys over for an afternoon jus’ for us.” Harry was about to tuck his phone away in his pocket before it buzzed again. He shot Liam a sheepish smile before pointing to his phone. 

“It’s Y/N, isn’t it?” 


“Just go.” 


gif isn’t mine!

I feel like I should direct all the disappointed Sherlockians, who are sad because of the lack of queer representation, to Murdoch Mysteries.
Reasons I love it:
Very accurate description of the 1890’s
Murdoch (played by Yannic Bisson) is HOT ASF
Destroying gender roles
Strong female lead characters
Lesbian women’s rights activist character
Gay police officer (is in every episode, isn’t confirmed but hinted 1000 times)
Head of the police is also gay (later jailed for it :c)
Adorable relationship of smart male lead and smart women’s rights activist doctor female lead
Okay I would say many more but if this doesn’t motivate you idk what will
It has 10 seasons atm, 11th in the making.
Season 1 starts off pretty dull, but it gets spicy after a few episodes and by season 10 it’s just PERFECT.
Have fun❤❤


gif is not mine

Title: Forever

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader

Word count: 1,106

Warnings: injured reader, angst, fluff

A/N: This was requested by anon! I hope you all enjoy this! Feedback is welcomed and appreciated! I love you all so much!! <3 <3

Gabriel knew he loved you the second he laid eyes on you.  However, he never came forward with his feelings, and neither did you.  The two of you loved each other and neither of you knew how the other felt.

When Sam, Dean, and Cas came back, Gabriel went from excited to horrified within a matter of seconds.  The Winchesters were leaning on each other as Castiel carried you in his arms.  Your clothes were soaked with blood.  He was sure most of it was your own, judging from the gashes on your arms.  

“What the hell happened,” Gabriel asked urgently, taking you from Castiel’s arms.  “Why didn’t you call for my help?”

Keep reading

be my love (baekhyun)
word count: 1330 w.
genre: fluff, unfair performance au
summary:  baekhyun creates havoc in the doctor’s lounge when he wore a stethoscope, scrubs, and a doctor’s coat.

A short beep sounded from your coat’s pocket. You scrabbled your pocket to get your phone. A message notification showed on the screen.

Watch Music Core today~ ^^

You rolled your eyes and went back to work.

“Please don’t leave. It’s boring in the hospital but it’s fun when you’re around, noona!” Jisung pleaded, his grip tightening around your wrist. You chuckled as you lowered down to his level.

“I’ll be doing my rounds later at six. Don’t worry, you’ll see me again.” You gave him a warm smile before ruffling his hair.

“You promise?” He asked. The sparkle in the boy’s eyes made you want to say ‘yes’ even if you’re probably a little busy come six in the evening.

“I promise.” Jisung wrapped his tiny arms around your neck. You were careful not to tangle the tube of his IV.

When you closed the door to his room, the head nurse popped her head from the common room. She waved her hand signaling you to come quickly. “You’re gonna miss their performance! Run!”

You walked briskly because running on the halls of the hospital would deem unprofessional as a medical resident. That would exclude those assigned at the emergency room, of course. When you arrived, your hair was disheveled, sticking out at different directions. All the nurses circled the flat screen TV. They flashed a smile of mischief when you sat on your desk.

“What’s all the fuss about?” You tried to catch your breath. You looked at the TV only to find Music Core on the channel.

Just when you were about to complain why they made you hurry, an unfamiliar tune started playing. Your eyes caught the song’s title named, “Unfair”.

“Where are the other four members?” One of the nurses questioned, her hands fanning her face when Jongin appeared on the screen. She turned to you, a playful smirk placed on her face. “Where’s Baekhyun?”

“B-Baekhyun who?” You averted your eyes on the ground.

The head nurse nudged your side. “Oh, you know. The Baekhyun who keeps on visiting you when he has the time away from his idol activities. The one who keeps joining you for coffee everyday with a mask on his face even if you didn’t ask.”

You felt heat creep to your cheeks at the thought of Baekhyun’s persistence on catching your heart.

“Speaking of Baekhyun,” the head nurse turned her head back to the TV the exact moment Baekhyun started singing his line.

If you already know, please stop playing around. I’m getting more and more lost in you.

You can’t believe Baekhyun sported the whole doctor attire for this stage. From the bluish purple scrubs to the stethoscope. On the side of that, his golden brown hair stuck out in different directions as well. You found it completely irresistible when Baekhyun looked up and patted his face with the stethoscope.

“OH MY GOD” The head nurse covered her mouth with her hands. Girly screams sounded all over the common room because Byun Baekhyun was in freaking scrubs and a doctor suit all because of you.

Am I being selfish? Your eyes, your nose, your lips, I want to be the only one that looks at you. Am I being too greedy?

You were pretty sure your heart was about to escape out of your chest. You placed a hand over your chest. You weren’t sure if the song was for you because you didn’t want to assume. Maybe it was just another EXO love song everyone seems to love.

“Is he confessing on live TV?!” Your attending physician, the one in charge of you, popped her head through the door.

You sighed, “You too, Dr. Kwon?”

“It’s seldom we get some medical romance here, alright? Let me have my fun.” She said before joining the rest of the nurses in watching EXO’s performance.

“The song couldn’t be about me, okay. I’m sure this is another song to have women like you swoon over them. It’s a media tactic.” You said, matter-of-factly.

Girl, girl, be my love. We drank coffee everyday.

“Are you sure it ain’t about you?” One of the nurses questioned, arms crossed over her chest. “I beg to differ.”

Girl, girl, be my love. We talked for a long time on the phone every night.

Your fellow resident clasped her hands together as if she connected two and two together. “So that’s why when I sleep at the doctor’s quarters at midnight, there’s always someone whispering and giggling on the top deck.”

“C'mon, you two are perfect for each other. The boy’s obviously head over heels for you. He’s been courting you for almost a year and you still won’t answer him.” Your attending physician said as she leaned back on the chair.

A series of ’yeah’ and ’why won’t you answer him’ filled the room. You honestly don’t know why as well. It’s just that balancing your profession and relationships were a difficult task to do. Plus, he’s an idol and you weren’t sure if it would work out. You explained these bothering thoughts to the rest of them for them to understand your part.

“I’m sure Baekhyun has a good explanation why they performed this today. I’ll call him later when he’s done with his schedule.” You said before grabbing your clipboard and poked a pen to your chest pocket.

“Or we could talk about it right now.”

When you turned around, you were taken aback when Baekhyun stood there right in the flesh. In his hand was a bouquet of carnations and blue roses. You couldn’t take your eyes off Baekhyun in scrubs. It looked absolutely perfect on him. If only he were a doctor, he’d share the same worries.

“I thought you were live? How did you get here so fast?”

Baekhyun replied. “It was pre-recorded, sweetheart.”

“Well,” the attending physician continued, “We should go back to work. Let’s go everyone. We need to, um, save lives. I’ll see you later!”

You chuckled when she pumped her fists and mouthed to Baekhyun, ‘Go get her!’

The moment you heard the door click, you initiated the conversation. “So what do you want to talk about, Baekhyun?”

“Us,” he responded. You shrugged, “What about it?”

“Look, I really really really like you. This is not an idol stunt I’m pulling. Think about it. Why am I spending my time with you in the hospital during my day offs when I could have used it to rest?”

You were caught speechless. It all made sense and you were scared to admit it. “Why do I check on you every other hour during your shifts? Why do I fetch you just to take you home safely at four in the morning?”

“I should say I love you but I guess that’s too fast for your liking. But, I really like you,” Baekhyun took a step closer. He set down the flowers on the table before rubbing your sides.

“And if that song that I wrote with Chanyeol and Dean didn’t prove enough then…”

You cupped your hands on his cheeks. Baekhyun pouted. You leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Byun Baekhyun. EXO’s lead vocalist and the most adorable puppy I’ve ever met. You have won a place in my heart. I like you, too.”

“And, no, it’s not too fast for my liking. I think it’s about damn time.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down until your lips are a few centimeters away from each other. You stared into his deep brown orbs swirling with adoration.

“I love you, Baekhyun.”

note: not really a valentines day gift for yall but it’s almost valentines so let’s just call it that lmao i’ll be writing for the rest of the members so stay tuned 💕 | masterlist


One of the very best lessons I’ve learned in my exploration of Domination is that the most powerful thing in the world is also the easiest - just saying no.

Such a tiny word. So easy to say. So easy to do. And yet, do it properly and that tiny two-letter word becomes an obsession to someone else, an itch they just can’t ignore, yet also can’t scratch.

This isn’t about extravagant tease and denial, either. I’m not talking about a ‘scene’ or fantasy scenario involving huge amounts of effort and edging and the rest. They have their place, of course, but they’re not what I’m talking about here.

Want to kiss me, Kyle? No. Want to touch me Kyle? No. Want to lovingly stroke your beloved Mistress while we innocently sit watching the TV like any other couple? No. 😈

It’s agony for Kyle. He’s asking me for so little and yet getting nothing, just because of one tiny little word that he’s powerless to get the best of. And why? Because it excites me to deny him.

It’s been even more agonising for him of late since we added the cuckolding element into our play.

Last night, I arrived home late from a trip having not seen him all day. All he wanted was a kiss. Every couple kiss when they’re reunited, yes?

Instead of just giving him one, or just saying no, I messaged my now numerous tumblr Bull hopefuls asking them if they think I should allow myself to kiss him.

The ones who were available firmly said “no,” just like any genuinely impressive Bull should, and I told Kyle I didn’t want to displease my Bulls.

So did Kyle get his kiss? Did he even get a goodnight kiss later? NO. Poor boy.

And his reaction? Pure lust and desire for me, just how I like him. Everyone always craves more what they can’t have. You just need to let them get sufficiently agonisingly close to it to taste it - and use ‘no’ to control the craving that controls them. 😈

“Hey hey hey darling hey-”

“Oh my god Daniel what!” 

“I’m horny,”

“When are you not?”

“We should have sex,”

“Right now?”



“What babe, please?”


“Why not? I’m not ugly! I thought you loved me, Y/N”

“I do love you and you’re gorgeous but I have stuff to do later and i don’t want to shower,” 

“Then we can just fuck in the shower,” 


“Fine you’re just going to make me jerk off like a teenager?”


“Ugh! What did i ever do to you?!” 

“Well right now you’re being annoying, and now I’m thinking about it so I’m horny too so fuck you,”

“Aha! I win!” 

“Daniel shut the fuck up and kiss me,” 

actual conversation between you and daniel bc he’s a horny man child

Imagine a long weekend with Chris. (Part B)

A/N: Part 5B 😍 I am killing myself with my expectations. 😂 You can read the related mini-series and the previous parts here: (Mini-series - Masterlist; Mini-series Spin-off: ‘Unexpected Reader’ and ‘Little Ways Away’ - Masterlist; 'She Said Yes: Part 1/Part 2/Part 3/Part 4/Part 5A’)

You and Chris took a cab to TD Garden the day of the concert because you both agreed that parking would have been a bitch even if you did get there early. You were both right because though the gates only opened at 5:30PM, there were already hundreds and thousands of people waiting and wandering the area. You’d wanted to show up a little later, when it was closer to the opening so you didn’t have to wait with the rest of the fans considering who your fiancé was and how many times your face had been on a magazine. But Chris said it would’ve been in your best interest if the two of you got there earlier, something about beating the even bigger crowd. So here the two of you were, outside TD Garden with all the other eager fans, hiding your faces with sunglasses and baseball caps.

“Come here,” Chris pulled you along with him as he walked outside the barrier, trying to cut to the front of the line. You yanked on Chris’ hand when you heard people yelling at the two of you, demanding you to “cue like the rest of us!” You fought, but as always- Chris proved to be much stronger than you, so you kept you head down and followed him. “Chris Evans,” he whispered his name to the man at the door, passing him a notecard that had something scribbled across the top.

“I’ve got Chris Evans at the door, Chris Evans has arrived.” The man spoke into his communication device, then nodded at the response. “We’ve got someone coming out to meet you,” he told Chris and your heart jumped with excitement. Chris looked over at you, chuckling, when you squealed as quietly as you could. “They’ll give you a pair of VIP passes, please keep them around your neck at all times. After you,” he opened the door for the both of you and Chris walked in, pulling an overexcited you in with him.

“Oh my God, Chris!” You whispered-shouted, making Chris chuckle. “This is so cool, I’ve never been a proper VIP with extra privileges before. When I went to see Taylor Swift with my mom, we did not get this treatment. We cued like the rest of them,” you told him and he released your hand to wrap an arm around you.

“Well, no more,” he whispered into your hair when he kissed your head. “You are only going to get VIP treatment from now on, I promise.” You smiled as you looped you arm around his waist, leaning into him.

“Chris Evans and Y/N Y/L/N,” a very familiar British accent greeted the both of you and you tripped over nothing, stumbling slightly. You looked up and saw Ed Sheeran walking towards the both of you with two passes in his hand, swinging in the air. Your jaw dropped and you darted your gaze at Chris then back at Ed, then again at Chris. No words would fathom your thoughts and emotions at that very moment; you were absolutely starstruck. “Welcome to my Divide tour.” He passed the passes to Chris who took it with a grateful smile.

“You’re Ed Sheeran,” was all you could get out, much like the first time you laid eyes on Chris. Both Chris and Ed chuckled, like they’d talked about how your first reaction would be upon meeting him. “Oh my God,” your voice quivered as you breathed out those three words. “This is amazing,” you whispered to yourself.

“She’s a big, big fan,” Chris chuckled, holding out his hand to shake Ed’s. “Thank you so much for this, I don’t know how I would’ve gotten tickets if it weren’t for you.” Ed smiled and nodded, then looked over at you. You smiled, but still couldn’t find the words to speak. “Yeah, she’s going to need a few minutes I think.”

“That’s alright,” Ed chuckled and beckoned his head for the two of you to follow him. “We’ve got all night.” Chris stopped you for a brief moment, moving in front of you to loop the pass over your head. He pinched your chin, winking when you whispered-screamed nothing at him. He looped the pass over his own head then took your hand and continued following Ed down the hall. “How’s filming going?” Ed quizzed, glancing back at you and Chris.

“It’s going,” Chris chuckled. “I’m ready to call it a day and head home to my girl here.” He squeezed your hand and you smiled at him. “What about you? Still a long way to go before you head home?” Ed nodded, chuckling. “Well, at least we’re doing what we love.”

“That’s true,” Ed agreed, then his gaze fell on you and he smiled. “How are you doing there, Y/N?”

“I think I can speak now,” you chuckled nervously and both guys smiled. Ed slowed to walk beside you, rather than in front. “Thank you so much for helping Chris get tickets, Ed- or Mr. Sheeran? Oh God,” you mumbled to yourself, “I don’t know what to call Ed Sheeran.”

“Ed’s fine,” Ed told you with a soft chuckle and you nodded in acknowledgment. “And it’s really no problem at all, Captain America asks for my help to save his world?” You looked up at Chris and he smiled, beckoning his head to your charm bracelet where he’d a charm made calling you his world. “I can’t really say no to that, now can I? I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic myself, so I like a good love story and yours- it’s brilliant.”

“Thank you,” you and Chris replied simultaneously; Chris’ voice more stable and firm than yours. “We actually really love your song, 'Perfect’,” you told Ed and he smiled. “It is a very good summary of our relationship, or where we want our relationship to end up.”

“Chris mentioned that on the phone,” Ed informed you and you turned to Chris, smiling. “Which is why later when I dedicate that song to a very special couple in the crowd, you’ll know it’s for the both of you. I don’t think I should mention any names for safety reasons.” He chuckled when you and Chris nodded with pursed lips. “Anyway, this is my dressing room.” He opened the door and beckoned the both of you in. “You’re more than welcome to hang out, I have a feeling there are some things we need to discuss. Isn’t that right, Chris?” He quizzed with a knowing smile.

“Right,” Chris nodded with the same knowing smile.

“What’s going on?” You asked, glancing between the two.

“I may have made some premature wedding decisions without you,” Chris told you and your eyes narrowed in confusion. “I know we said we’d discuss everything, but- there was a very good offer that I couldn’t refuse.” You scoffed with a frown, facials asking “what did you do?” Chris bit back his smile as he said, “I may have booked our wedding band already.”

“You did what?” You frowned. “Why would you do that?” You asked, somehow not connecting the dots that there was a reason Chris was taking you to an Ed Sheeran concert as well as getting you a meeting with Ed Sheeran. God, you were one thick bag of soup. “We haven’t even picked a date and you’re arranging a wedding band?”

“Well, it’s not so much of a band than a solo artist,” Ed spoke up and you turned to him. You saw the smile on his face and suddenly, it made sense. You turned back to Chris who was doing his very best to stifle his laughter. “I hope you don’t mind me crashing, Y/N.”

“You’re going to sing at our wedding?” You asked breathlessly as you found yourself caught in a daze. Both Chris and Ed nodded, smiling. “That is- that’s like on my bucket list. Ed Sheeran singing at my wedding is on my bucket list,” you repeated to Chris, wrapping your hand around his wrist tightly. “Is this real? Am I dreaming right now?”

“No,” Chris chuckled with a shake of his head. “Ed’s singing at our wedding and you’re marrying me. This is all happening,” he assured you and you managed a shaky laugh. “Are you okay, baby? Do you need to sit down, or maybe a bottle of water?”

“I need you to love me less so there aren’t anymore big romantic gestures that will give me a heart attack and kill me before I’m twenty-one,” you told him; both guys bellowed with laughter. “You’ve done it again, Chris Evans,” you turned to him and cupped his face in your hands. “You’ve knocked it out of the damn park.”

“I knocked it out of the park with my fiancée,” he smiled. “So I might as well knock everything else out of the park too.” You chuckled softly, shaking your head in disbelief; you were definitely dreaming, this was way too perfect. “I love you, Y/N.” He whispered when he dipped his head, his lips inches from yours.

“I love you too.”

Tags: @chrisevans-imagines @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @xoxomioxoxo @imaginesofdreams @ateliefloresdaprimavera @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @caitsymichelle13 @michellekeehlmello @letterstomyself21 @soymikael @faye22 @always-an-evans-addict @sammyrenae68 @brobrobreja @elizabeth-matsuoka @thegirlwiththeimpala @camerica96 @all-of-the-above11 @whenyourealizethisisntagoodname @yourtropegirl @smoothdogsgirl @createdbytinyaddiction @siofrataylor @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @imaginary-world-of-mine @wanderingkat77 @grantward3 @rileyloves5 @chrsmom302 @buckys-shield @mylittlefandomfanfictions @breezykpop @catch-me-im-a-falling-star @tabi-toast @ssweet-empowerment @hayleesteashoppe @chrixa @feelmyroarrrr @akidura79 @louisespecter @castellandiangelo @ccrossfire @assxmblesstuff @edward-lover18 @princessesnaddy @1d-niallerbieberforever @dxbrevgrey @bellastellaluna @christopher-or-steven @brokenwingsxix @yourenotrogers @im-a-fandom-slut @royalexperiment256 @palaiasaurus64 @mysteriouslyme81 @captainumeboshi @avengingalec @tacohead13 @badassbaker @pegasusdragontiger @evanstanimagines @avengersgirllorianna @sfreeborn @dorisagent101 @antisocial-angel13 @mizzzpink @aekr @scarltvison @imagine-cats96 @adeptkillsyasse @shliic @ask-steverogers @justanotherfangurlz @winchesterandpie @creativeheartgemini @marie-writes-things @what-if-wenevermet (Inbox me if you’d like to be added to the tag list)

Part 5C

hi everyone! i’ve seen people do summer celebrations everywhere so i thought i might join in too! aka im procrastinating on summer homework i should be doing so why not url edits? rules are below <3


  • mbf this jily trash
  • reblog this post!
  • i will only be doing hp urls only (sorry!)
  • and that’s literally it! i will be choosing urls that inspire me the most first and later on i will get to the other urls
  • there is literally no deadline for this since i’m always in the need for inspiration
  • also if you reblog this like today and see me making an edit for you like 3 months later it’s because i just needed the inspiration at that time <3

Not To Worry

gif belongs to of-badges-and-guns

Pairing: Pride x Reader

Word Count: 1,460

Warnings: angst/fluff

A/N: This was a continuation of a drabble that @wanna-see-my-lease wanted to se done. You can read Pride & Broken HERE! This is the second part of Pride & Broken. I hope you guys enjoy this! Feedback is welcomed and appreciated!

Pride paced the floor of the waiting room.  You were still in surgery and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could be this patient.  He knew there was a case to work, but he needed to know that you were okay.  The image of your bloody body was burned into his brain and he couldn’t focus when your life was hanging in the balance.

The agent’s phone started to ring and he dug it out of his pocket.  LaSalle’s name flashed on the screen.  “What’aya got,” Pride spoke lowly as he stopped pacing the floor.  “Tell me ya found the son of a bitch who did this.”

“Not exactly King,” Chris replied.  “We did find somethin’.  We went to [Y/N]’s apartment like you asked.  You’re not gunna like this.”  LaSalle paused as he set the phone down, putting it on speaker.  “Someone’s been watchin’ [Y/N].”

“They couldn’t have gotten much in the last few weeks,” Pride noted, resting his hand on his hip.

“Why’s that,” LaSalle asked.  

“She hasn’t been here for weeks,” Percy said in the background.  “She doesn’t have any toiletries in her bathroom and everything is untouched around here.”

“That’s because she’s been stayin’ with me,” Pride informed the two agents.  He let out a long sigh as he sat down.  “She said she was sleepin’ better at my place.”

Keep reading


Edit: Not my gif i really don’t know where it came from tbh, sorry (Probably should of said that to begin with)Edit: found it! @damonalbarn I’m not gonna lie and say I did say shit because to be honest I just left it because I didn’t know who made it. Later, I had a realisation that i should probably say something. Sorry for not crediting promise shit like this won’t happen again. ( I’m laughing so hard it’s in the fucking corner and I couldn’t see it this whole time)

What is Super Santa Femslash?
A gift exchange for Supergirl femslash ships. Instead of physical presents, participants will gift each other fanworks on AO3. Fanworks may include fic (min 1000 words), art, manips/edits, gifsets, or fanvids. All works will be revealed on Christmas Day.

How do I join?
Fill out the sign-up form: HERE. Sign-ups close at 11:59 EST on October 17th, and prompts will go out a week later. Feel free to reblog the sign up post (here) to get the word out!

What do I have to submit?
Two prompts, either for the same ship or two different ones. Try to make your prompts somewhat different, so your santa can pick the one they like best, and have as much fun filling as you have receiving.

What should I do once I get my prompts?
Once you’ve decided which of the two prompts you’d like to fill, you may submit your work to the collection at any time. There will be a tutorial coming shortly.

What will I get from my santa?
Once December 25th rolls around, the collection will be revealed, and your santa will have posted one of your two prompts for you to enjoy.

Do my prompts have to be Christmas related?
Nope! All themes are welcome. Last year’s collection had a wide variety of themes and ratings.

So what should my prompts look like?
Vague prompts like “fluff” don’t give your santa a good idea of what you want, while overly specific prompts don’t leave much room for creativity. An example of a good prompt is “Cat/Kara - everyone thinks they’re already dating.”

What if I want a prompt for a ship not listed on the form?
Prompts are limited to major season one and crossover ships to keep the number of entries manageable. If your prompt idea is for a season two ship, check out @supergirlsecretsanta.

What if I accidentally submitted my prompt to the wrong blog?
If you submitted a season one ship to @supergirlsecretsanta​, just message them and they will forward your info over to me. We’ll be trying to keep an eye on things, so if you notice an email coming from another exchange, we probably already caught it ;)

Am I limited to only season one canon?
Not at all! Your prompts may include season two characters and settings, so long as the focus remains on the season one ship.

What if I need to edit my prompts later?
Sign-up forms are editable ‪until October 15th, by using the link provided when you submitted your form. Message me before submissions close if you are unable to access your form.

What if I’m not sure if I can participate?
You can still participate by leaving kudos and comments on the completed works when they’re revealed. But we don’t want to risk someone not getting a gift, so please only sign up if you’re reasonably certain you’ll be able to fill your prompt.

What if I do have to drop out?
If you need to drop out of the exchange, please let me know as soon as possible so I can try to find someone else to fill your prompt.

Do I need a tumblr account to participate?
Only an AO3 account is needed, but if you do have a tumblr, feel free to send anon messages to your giftee. Just make sure not to discuss your prompt fill on tumblr, since secrecy is half the fun.

What if I love both my prompts?
You are welcome to surprise your person with an extra gift! Just submit both prompts to the collection. I’m sure your prompter won’t complain ;)

What if I don’t like either of the prompt choices I’m asked to respond to?
Try looking for a specific element or two of the prompt that you find appealing to make it work to your art or writing preference. It doesn’t have to match exactly. Just try to make something they will enjoy. If you truly don’t feel capable of filling either prompt, please let me know as soon as possible that you will be dropping out.

When is my fill due?
All works should be posted to the collection by December 20th.

If you have any further questions, feel free to shoot me a message!

Mizumono thoughts and feelings (Hannibal Season 2 Finale) SPOILERS
This season finale was honestly one of the best season finales of any show I have EVER watched.
The last like 20 minutes was just so shocking because honestly I did not see a thing that happened coming!
Okay I loved Alana in this one, like when she appeared with the gun to shoot Hanni I was like yas GURL but ALANA HOWD YOU FORGET BULLETS!! And the she got bullets phew but then that thing happened and okay honestly IS SHE ALIVE I NEED TO KNOW
okay but what hurt so much was when Will appeared and saw her there in the ground. And yes Bryan had to go there with the rain and the sad music which made everything hundred times more painful.
“You were supposed to leave.” Okay when Hugh Dancy said that I swear it was the saddest most broken thing but honestly this script is so beautiful.
Okay then Hanni cups Will’s cheek which was this moment of peace but then oh he had the knife and just stabbed him. But Hanni holding Will whilst he was bleeding what get away Hanni I WAS SO ANGRY
oh yeah and remember when Abigail appeared and that sadness but also slight glimmer of hope that Will has because he cares for Abigail. And oh one second later Hanni decides to murder her IN FRONT OF WILL?! Ajhsgsjajavaghajanahfaga
Okay so it was pretty emotional and that ending I should have guessed Bedelia was a TRAITOR like is she the only female character left because IS ALANA ALIVE OR NOT
okay phew I have the whole next season to watch
Basically summary it was painful but beautiful pain because Bryan Fuller is a genius. Ps you’re welcome for the gif of pain. This review is a totally mess of jut some of my thoughts smushed down

A Little Too Late Part 35

(gif is not mine)

Title: A Little Too Late Part 35

Characters: Sam, Dean, Castiel, Gabriel, Lucifer, Brad (Antagonist OC)

Word Count: 1,234

Warnings: angst, death of a minor OC

A/N: I think you’ve all patiently waited out the weekend well enough! This is where Sam comes through as the soothing big brother needs.  I hope you all enjoy this! Feedback is welcomed and appreciated! I love you all so much! <3 <3

You can find the masterlist to this series HERE!

Brad smirked at you.  He could see the evident pain you were in.  “Now you feel the pain and suffering we do [Y/N],” Brad noted flatly.

When you stood up, your eyes scanned over his wings that were burned into the ground.  You grabbed the machete that had fallen out of his hand.  It was obvious to you that everyone’s eyes were on you as you slowly approached Brad.  The fact that you had tears falling from your eyes, didn’t concern you.

“I hope you’re ready to lose everything you’ve ever loved,” you croaked.  “Because I’m starting with your family.”  You threw your machete, striking Danny in the abdomen.  “I’ll kill you last, Bradley.”

Keep reading

Imagine having to attend Jared’s wedding (P2)

Continuation of THIS imagine 

I can tell that I’m already late just by the music coming out from the house. My stupid heels are more of a burden than a plus to make me look pretty. Once I get to the door I ring the doorbell a few times before being welcomed by Shannon himself. A wide smile takes over his face, his arms opening to hold me for a few seconds.

“Sorry for the delay, work was crazy today” I apologize, pulling away from him to look him in the eyes.

“It’s okay” Shannon says, leaving a kiss on my forehead.

The place is already full, everyone wanting to celebrate Shannon’s birthday. I look around, scared to see those eyes that I haven’t seen in months, the ones that didn’t even dare to look at me during that wedding day. Luckily, he’s still not here, neither is Annie.

I walk around for a while, Shannon busy talking to his guests. I get to see Tomo and Vicky having a few drinks outside, sharing a few comments, and laughing about them. They are my best option tonight, so I walk to sit by their side. It seems like I haven’t seen any of my friends in ages, and Vicky must feel the same, since she jumps to hug me the second her eyes lay on me. We spend the next hour catching up, Vicky and Tomo telling me all about their new apartment, and then I get interrogated by my trip with Shannon.

“Where did you go?” Vicky asks me, handing me a beer.

“Mainly Tokyo, but we visited a few of the small villages too” I say, before taking a good drink from my beer.

“And after that? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever”

And they have indeed not seen me in a while. My mission to avoid Jared and everything that reminded me of him was going pretty well, until now obviously. His arrival was burning on my skin, my heart not prepared for the moment in which he’ll walk through those doors, ring in hand, my best friend by his side.

The beers and wine keep coming our way, and it doesn’t take me much to start laughing hysterically, telling funny stories about Shannon, and feeling like my head is in another planet. I even forget for a second about Jared, but only for a second.

Shannon walks out to the backyard, giving me a full smile when he notices how happy I look. I walk towards him, being held by his arms the second I’m next to him. He looks so happy, and I hate that I feel so scared to see Jared when his brother is so happy about this party.

“You’ve been drinking” He mutters in my ear.

“A bit” I laugh, “Do you still have that bottle of whisky we bought the other day?”

“Maybe”, he mutters again, “Haven’t you drink enough?”


Shannon laughs at my drunkenness, and ends up taking my hand to walk me inside. He gets two drinks done for us, his eyes not looking away from mine. I laugh, choking on my drink, starting to couch without being able to stop laughing.

“You’re crazy” Shannon laughs, taking me by the hips to pull me closer to him.

I leave my drink aside, fully knowing what he’s up to, but we stop. I can hear my name being shouted and I can feel my heart drop to the floor.

We turn to the entrance, noticing Annie running to get in front of me. Four months since I last saw her, or spoke to her. Four months. Shannon lets go of me, and Annie takes his place squeezing my body.

“Oh, my God!” She shouts, “I’ve missed you so much!”

Then why haven’t you called me? Too busy fucking the love of my life?

“I know, me too!” I laugh, squeezing her too.

“I have so much to tell you! I can’t believe it’s been so long since we last saw each other!”

And it should have continued like that. But I see Jared entering the room, and my heart definitely skips a bit. Annie’s still holding me, giving her back to him, and even though Shannon gave a step back, I can feel the tension filling his body too.

Jared walks towards us, giving his brother a hug, while Annie just can’t stop saying all the things she needs to tell me in more depth later on. The brothers share a few words, and I can’t wait for the moment I can just walk away from this.

“The honeymoon was so great!” She keeps talking, “I bought so many presents, we need to get together one day and I’ll bring them along”

“That’s great, Annie” I mutter, taking the drink back to my lips.

“We bought Constance this beautiful necklace, she cannot stop wearing it. I’m so happy, you know how insecure I am about her”

“I know” I say, taking another sip.

“But I think she’s starting to like me a bit more now, she has even invited me to lunch a couple of times”

The brothers disappear from our side, and I give one last worried face to Shannon. Annie keeps talking, and I know I should be really interested in her conversation, since we haven’t talked in so long. But, my head’s in another place, and I’m too drunk to deal with all this.

And we sit, and she keeps talking, and I keep giving her the same short answers, and Annie doesn’t even notice how uninterested I look.

Worst best friend ever.

And the hour passes and she’s still talking, and I’m still drinking, and I can see her smile, she’s happy, so fucking happy. And I’m sad, so fucking sad. And all I want to do is cry, because I hate to see her so happy, but I also hate myself for feeling like that. And I know that I’m about to cry, because my chest starts heaving out, my vision turning even more blurry. And I don’t even excuse myself, I just run away from there, taking two steps at a time at the stairs, locking myself in the bathroom the second I’m alone inside.

A couple of minutes pass before I can hear someone knocking on the door, calling my name.

“I just want to be alone” I mutter.

“Well, I don’t want you to be alone. Open the door, we can be alone together”

I get up from the tub, yes, the tub, to open the door. Shannon is waiting for me outside, a bottle of water on his hand. I let him in, and we both sit inside the tub, this isn’t our first time.

“She just couldn’t stop talking about him, I had to run” I mutter, after taking a good sip from the bottle, “It’s been four months, I should be ready for this”

“Yes, you should. But you’d loved him for years, you have the right to feel like you’re feeling now”

I can feel the tears coming back to my eyes, start rolling on my cheeks.

“Hey” Shannon says, cupping my cheek with one hand, drying the tears that got to escape.

Don’t do it, my heart says, but my mind has a different opinion.

In just a second I get to Shannon, in just a second I press my lips against his. I’m desperate, my lips show this, and I know they are trembling. I just want Jared out of my system, I want him out of my mind… Just like I wanted him out the night of the wedding.

This time I stop in time, getting up from the tub, checking my face on the mirror, trying to fix my make up as much as possible.

“Where are you going?” Shannon asks me, getting up from the tub too.

“Back to the party” I almost whisper, Shannon standing by my side, his hand taking mine, “Please, don’t…”

He nods, taking his hand away, but with a smile on his face.

“There’s still a lot of alcohol downstairs”

“Enough for tonight” I say, finally feeling a smile invade my lips.

We head downstairs, nobody noticing my washed face, and Shannon’s protectiveness over me. I get to see Jared the second we enter the backyard. He’s not with Annie, she’s just boring Vicki with her endless talking. Ok, I got to stop that. But, seriously, she just keeps talking.

Shannon gives me a look, kind of asking me if we go there. And we do.

The day of the wedding, Jared didn’t look at me once. I wanted to dance with him and, in the middle of the song, tell them how happy I was seeing him so happy with his life, with his choices. Because he chose a girl who couldn’t hate her best friend just for being happy about her life, someone who was bright, smiling even in her darkest days.

But he didn’t look at me, and I couldn’t ask him to grant me one dance, just one song. Because I ruined everything between us. Love sucks.

Shannon gets me a bottle of water, intercepting Annie when he notices her walking toward me.

“She’s not feeling very well” I hear him say, “Long day, and too much alcohol, not a good combination”

Annie nods, probably feeling terrible for taking too much talking about her and not taking a bit of time to ask about me. Or at least that’s what I’d like to think.

The guys take over the conversation, and I just stand there, feeling out of place. It sort of feels like before, when Jared and Annie were not engaged yet. Everyone looks the same too. Well, that’s what I believe till I see Jared face.

We lived together for a while, and we’ve been friends longer than I would like to admit. I knew that face, I knew what those bags under his eyes meant. And, out of the sudden, everything became clear. Annie had always been a good talker, but not to this extreme. She was avoiding people talking to her, by talking to them. She didn’t want people asking them question, so she gave them answers before anyone could question her intentions.

Very clever.

A smile appears when I notice part of what’s going on, and that parts feels happy. And I know I should stop feeling happy over sad things, but I just can’t help it.

My whole perspective of the night changes when I finally notice what’s going on. I can see that Jared’s smiles don’t reach his eyes, that Annie tends to avoid his eyes, but tries to stay as close as possible so no one suspects that something is going on.

But I know, because I know them too fucking much. I want to stand in the middle of the circle, interrupt their conversation with a hysterical laugh and shout how stupid they are for doing something that lasted only four months. But I have no other proof than my knowledge of my two best friends.

My mind is full of theories over what could’ve happened when I hear my name. I come back to earth, noticing the freaky smile on my face. I must look crazy.

“Are you alright?”

Everyone’s looking at me, and Jared knows that I know. Because I see it in his eyes, and I just want to run to him and punch him in the face. Because he decided to “spend the rest of his life” with someone for less than four months, and we could’ve have lasted for eternity.

“Is okay if I sleep here?” I ask Shannon, leaving the crazy smile aside.

The worried expressions change to surprise and playfulness. Annie starts asking all the wrong questions, and I just ignore her. Shannon nods to my answer, and I just leave them all behind.

I’m Annie’s best friend, or was. Best friends notice when the other is head over heels for someone, even when you’re head over heels yourself. The thought creeps my mind as I walk toward Shannon’s bedroom. I noticed when both of them started falling for each other, and Shannon noticed when I fell for Jared. Jared was too blind to noticed my feelings, but she was always really good at reading me.

What if she knew?

I take all my clothes off, standing in the middle of Shannon’s bedroom just in my underwear.

What if Annie knew what I felt for Jared and just decided to go ahead?

I know it would have been selfish of me to just demand her to stop having those feelings. But before he was her friend, he was mine, and that gave me some kind of right over him, right? Well, Jared is not a possession, but… I guess you get my point.

It’s still dark by the time I open my eyes. Shannon is by my side, still dressed, but too drunk to even cover himself with a blanket. I get up from bed, taking the first thing I can find to put it over him.

I feel dizzy, still a bit drunk. I’m already in the middle of the corridor when my mind decides to confirm that I’m walking to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

The whole place is a mess. I’m sure the party finished not so long ago, and the house still smells like a mix of alcohol, sweat and people.

The light in the living room is still on, and as I walk there I notice the bearded figure laying on the couch. As always, I just stand there, awkwardly staring at Jared. His eyes are closed, but he’s not sleeping, I know that, although he hasn’t feel my presence yet.

“Are you just going to stand there and watch me?” Ok, I was wrong.

I’m well aware of my attire, and something inside me cringes when I see him open his eyes and stare at me as if this was the first time his eyes really laid on me.

“What are you doing here?”

“Shannon’s my brother, it isn’t too weird if I ask if I can stay at his place” He laughs, straighten his torso to finally sit on the couch, “What are you doing here?”

“Too drunk to drive” I shrug, and a new round of laugh comes out of his lips.

How could I spend four months without that laugh?

Jared pants the space beside him, asking me to sit there. And I do it right away.

“So, you noticed?”

“I noticed something, I’m not exactly sure what I noticed”

I’m not facing him, but he’s sitting with his left side leaning on the couch. I don’t want to face him, but his hand goes straight to my hair, taking a small lock of it just to play.

“Isn’t it weird that you know me better than Shannon?”

“We lived together, you know me too”

“Not as much as to notice some things that were going on here” Jared mutters, leaving the lock aside to knock my head.

“Yeah, well, let’s not talk about that”

His hand slips over my jaw in order to grab my chin and turn my head to him. The bags under his eyes are even worse than I could see earlier, and the beard that decorates his face is not a fashion statement.

“What happened?” I ask him, and he know pretty well that I mean.

“Things changed, we both changed” Jared sighs, his hand leaving my chin, “She became something else. She was demanding things I couldn’t give her, she needed me with her all the time, and I just couldn’t do it”

“You needed your space?”

“No” He almost shouts, “I needed you”

I can feel the gasp coming out of my chest and I just can’t stop its coming. I want to shout, I want to jump over him and kiss him like is the end of the world. I want to do so many things. But I just stay there, petrified.

“I saw you that night, and I know what happened with Shannon” His voice starting to tremble, his eyes looking a bit soggy, “I knew something was wrong from the moment we talked at the beach, and seeing you two leave together… I knew I had fucked it up”

Jared waits for a few seconds, maybe thinking that I have something to say, but I don’t. What could I possibly say?

“There was this moment, a month ago, when I just couldn’t hold it any longer. She was yelling at me, all her sweetness gone, she wanted me present, to stop walking around every corner like part of me was gone. And I asked her, I cried when I asked why she couldn’t be more like you. How could two best friends be such opposites?”

“Shut up” I whisper, deciding to let all my bitterness out, “Shut the fuck up, Jared”

He obeys, and I stand from the couch, starting to pace around.

“It’s too late” I start mumbling, “You can’t do this”

“I know it’s late, but the marriage is already broken” Jared stands from the couch, coming closer to me, grabbing me by the arms,  “You can hate my timing as much as I hate it, but please, just look at me for one second”

His hands clasp my arms strongly, sending shivers all over my body. His eyes are bright, and a few tears are shed by the two of us when we realized what’s going on.

“You’re my best friend” I mutter, shrugging a bit.

“Best friends can be lovers”

And that’s all it takes for us to just press our bodies together, his lips looking for mine with a desperation we had never experienced. His hands are all over me as mine can’t stop playing with his hair. Not a minute passes before loud moans escape the friction of our mouths, and not two minutes pass before I’m laying on the couch, Jared’s shirt already gone.

I need him as much as he needs me, and my heart couldn’t be happier.

I can’t even notice when all the clothes is gone and we are skin to skin, his crotch already tempting mine. But Jared decides to wait for a while, teasing me with kisses, and his hands playfully spreading my wetness on him.

“Just do it, please” I start begging, a smile taking over his lips as he hears my words.

Another kiss erases the smile, and I can finally feel him making his way inside me. A loud moan comes out of my lips as he starts thrusting against my body. His eyes are finally on me, after all this time wanting to be under his gaze, and he’s finally looking at me. I want to cry, scream, laugh. Emotions invade me, and I can feel the first tears coming out, a joyful smile on my lips, as I bite the lower one to help me contain all that I’m feeling.

The thrusts start fasting, and the desperation mixes with anger and happiness, all at the same time. And I can feel Jared loving me and almost blaming me for making him feel like this.

And I know him so much, that even though this is our first time, I know when he’s close. And I’m close too. And all I want is scream how much I love him.

His mouth devoured mine once more as his thrust turn frenetic. I want him, he wants me.

The two screams that come out of our lips hold more emotion than any other scream I could have made during climax. Jared falls over me, his head on the curve of my neck. We are both gasping, feeling each other’s chests hitting against the other.

And that’s the moment my head decides to make me laugh, and cry at the same time. And I can feel his smile on my neck, his teeth biting my neck as he growls against my skin.

“Again” I ask, “And again, and again, and again”

Jared laughs, facing me again, his lips giving a little peck to mine.

“I have a better idea”

He comes out of me, standing from the couch to start picking his clothes.

“Go find yours, quickly!”

I nod, standing from the couch, still a bit dizzy from the climax. And I run upstairs, trying to be as quiet as possible, only to discover Shannon snoring on his bed. I take all my things, leaving a quick kiss on Shannon’s cheek, starting to run downstairs.

When I get to Jared, he doesn’t say a word, and doesn’t let me ask either. He just grabs my arm and pulls me to him, biting and kissing my lips with the biggest demonstration of passion I’ve experienced.

“What are we doing?” I ask him when he finally lets me go.

“I don’t even know, I just want to be with you” He laughs, hurrying me to get dressed.

I do it as fast as I can. We can see the sunrise through the window, and Jared kisses me over there once we are ready. We both stared for a few seconds when we finish, his eyes falling to his hands, and I see something that makes me skip another bit. Jared slowly takes the ring from his finger, playing with it for a few seconds, only to let it fall between us.

“Let’s go” He says.

Jared grabs my hand, pulling me out of the house to get inside his car. Out of nothing, we both start laughing again, and as I look at him I can feel myself inside a dream, but I know this is true, and my heart starts to feel warm again.

[SUMMARY: Denny gets to go home on Thanksgiving night after a successful surgery and recovery. His nurse, Chloe is very happy for him although she has come to realize that she has feelings for the man that will now leave.]


*If you weren’t tagged, it’s because your username wouldn’t come up. Apologies*

Denny and Chloe.

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Ever noticed that the “some people are just desperate to be outraged at / offended by something” comments almost invariably hail from an individual who is some combination of white, straight, affluent, and male? Funny, that.

Not long ago, a well-known nightclub owner / magician here in San Francisco invited me to assist his card trick at a party that was being thrown at his venue by a mutual peer. It seemed like fun, so I agreed to, in spite of feeling a little self-conscious. About two minutes into the card trick, this magician, who I did not personally know, started discussing my breasts in front of our captive audience. He complimented their size, and then ordered me to “lean forward a little more when you put the next card down”. 

 It took me completely off guard. This was someone I’d spoken maybe five words to, total, ever, suddenly discussing my body parts like they belonged to him, and to his audience. I froze in place for what felt like several very long, humiliating moments, listening to the audience snicker, before turning to the guy and saying, flatly, “you’re lucky you didn’t just say that shit to me in a dark alley”. That’s the point at which I should have walked away. I should have thrown his cards back in his face. Instead, not wanting to draw any further attention to myself, I stiltedly completed the assist, then slunk off to the bar and spent the next half hour or so holding my coat and bag to my chest to cover myself up. I left the event quite early.

A couple days later, having heard through a third party that I was hurt and upset, the speakeasy nightclub owner / magician wrote me this spectacular non-apology, via Facebook: 

“I just heard that you were offended by an attempted joke I made last night. I am sorry that I offended you. Please know that I was trying to be funny not to offend. I understand that you were offended and I understand why and I don’t blame you a bit for feeling as you do.”

Say “offended” again, I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker.

Butt srsly. That was the best apology he could muster for me.  “I don’t blame you a bit”. He doesn’t blame me.

I don’t know why I was so surprised. White? Check? Straight cis male? Check. Affluent? Check. The dude even wears a fedora, for fuck’s sake. Hell, I should be grateful he didn’t grab my tits and yell “HONK HONK”! 

Never it let it be said I can’t look on the bright side of anything.