so i stopped caring some time ago

I’m not quite sure who to address this letter to, so I’ll just jump right into it.

 Three years ago, my birthcontrol failed and I became pregnant. I didn’t feel like I was in the right place at the time to care for a baby, so I ended up having an abortion. 

 My boyfriend and I have been discussing it, and we’re ready to have a baby. We want it. A little over a month ago I started half-ass taking my birthcontrol that I’ve been on for seven years. Three weeks ago I stopped all together and I’ve been having symptoms of being pregnant. I felt very similar to how I did last time I was pregnant.

 Honestly, I became terrified that I might actually be pregnant. Yesterday, I was googling some information and now I’m not so positive anymore. My pregnancy symptoms can just be side affects from coming off the birthcontrol. 

 Everything feels very dull and dark now. I truly thought I was, I was so happy and ready for this part of my life. I was already dreaming about you, my sunshine.

I’m too scared to take a test yet because I’m not ready to know if it’s bad news.

-Hoping for the best, Emily

JustI nterested In Your Opinon

Hey I stumbled across your blog and am heavily invested in the TVD/TO universe. I think Klamille shippers have a pretty strong dislike for Klaroliners and Caroline in general. Mostly coining Caroline as shallow, insecure, young and unsuitable. Since the majority opinion is that KC shippers have no reason for hating Camille and that we just don’t like her because she was the ‘one’ Klaus loved, I was curious about what your response to this?

http://itsalwaysgonnabecaroline.tumblr.com/post/139375079271/please-do-a-meta-of-the-difference-between-camis


I disagree that most Klamille shippers strongly dislike Caroline. I know many CK fans who like Caroline. Some used to ship Forwood, some ship Steroline, some used to like Klaroline. Some don’t care about her ships. Some never watched TVD, so they have no opinion about Caroline at all. For me personally, I stopped caring about TVD a long time ago, and I was never particularly invested in any of the characters or the ships, so even though I liked Caroline when I watched the show, the character is irrelevant to me now and has nothing to do with how I feel about Klamille. I think the thing that gets us mad is the constant comparisons between Caroline and Cami and the need for some people to talk about Caroline as if she’s the most perfect character ever created and Cami as if she’s pond scum, or to ignore or change canon to suit their argument.

Thank you for asking me about my opinion, but I don’t want to comment on the post you linked to. I don’t need to read any metas on Caroline vs. Cami. I’ve read the arguments before. I still maintain that a lot of Cami hate is resentment based on shipping preferences and the fact that Cami was seen from the beginning as a “threat” to your ship, even though its future was threatened the minute the spinoff was created, regardless of what happened with any other ships. But you have the right to dislike whoever you like and express your opinions about it.

anonymous asked:

Yo, listen, I just saw that drama post and wanted to let you know that it doesn't matter if people think you trace or not; your art is good, and fuck 'em if they think you do. I'm just some anon, but you do good work. Just keep that up and you have no reason to not be proud.

Awww thank you! You’re a great anon :D

And tbh I don’t really care about what they say and I would have just deleted that ask but this is the second time they asked me, so I guess they must be eager to get a reply from me. That last ask was 2-3 months ago and wow jsut give them their reply instead of letting them go through the suffering of checking my blog daily for months lol I mean we all do that at some point check blogs of people we don’t like but we stop after some time, seems like this person doesn’t

And it’s just as you say, people like seeing my art so I’m trying my best to give you guys content to enjoy. Those who commissioned me at least once know how I work and hey some of you guys even sent me pose refs and do they look traced to you? If you think yes, I say this again: feel free to overlay this. 

I know my art is not perfect, I also see the flaws but it takes time to change certain things especially if it has something to do with your style. But I’ll be doing my best to improve!

Thanks again anon and have a wonderful day! ♥

This took me way longer than it should have and went through so many changes. I’ve wanted to make a drawing like this in a very long time! I absolutely love the game Quantum Break and I needed to draw Jacksepticeye as Jack Joyce at some point. haha They’re kinda similar and I love that. I know he stopped playing it a while ago, but I totally respect his decision. I just really care about that game and him, I had to draw this AU! It came out way more detailed than expected and it helped me improve very much, I’m just not so sure I’ll make very complicated drawings for a while. I’ve said before that I’m not good with backgrounds but I really tried. haha Anyway, I hope @therealjacksepticeye likes it and that it’s good enough!

Another upside to having to spend this weekend at my in-laws’ place:  I got to take a nap today while grandma and grandpa watched the baby.  Granted, my body wouldn’t let me sleep for longer than an hour when the baby started crying, but it was nice to have that hour after yet another rough night.

Also, I’m being given a bit of a break, while Tim and his parents watch a movie with the baby, I got to take a shower and now have some time to write in a comfy bed before sleep.

Downside:  Can’t share the bed with my husband.  Not that his parents have a rule against it.  They did when I stayed here while recovering from surgery a several years ago when Tim and I were only still dating (that didn’t stop us.)  We’re married now and they wouldn’t care.  The issue is, the baby bed is a co-sleeping thing that takes up half the mattress, so I stay in the room with it’s own bathroom and Tim stays in his old room…  I do miss even those few hours a night when we’re in bed together though.

It took me that last time of falling in and caring too much. It took finding out things I didn’t want to know. It took realizing you weren’t really who you first introduced yourself as. Months ago I thought I let you go. It was hard, but we fell apart. You noticed this, too, but didn’t try to fix it. We stopped being friends. We rarely ever spoke. But it took one day to change that, or so I thought. We mended some holes. We snapchatted more and we smiled more frequently. Our conversations were how they used to. I started to care again. I started seeing the boy I missed so much, the one you kept hidden from the world. I became the ole usual jealous girl secretly in love with her friend again. But I became a treasury of knowledge. I heard things I so wish weren’t true. I kept seeing disgusting images in my head that haunted me. It was also your actions after you discovered things, too. How could I still want that kind of boy in my life? You always treated me as a second option. Sometimes, I couldn’t even be a second. We were good friends once. I believe that. But that boy is gone for good. I realize that now. You uncoiled me and set part of me free. But I never fully liked the girl I was when I was so madly in love with you. Sure, when I was around you, I couldn’t stop smiling. But behind closed doors I fell apart. So many times I wanted everything in my head and soul to be quiet and rest until things progressed in my favor…or to stop for good. That girl is gone, but not fully. I fell back into you before. She grew out of weakness. Eventually I may be able to learn to be around you without feeling either love or disgust, but it’s still there. Your vivid blue eyes cover up lies and deceit. They once made me weak in the knees, but I know better. I was strong enough to pretend you were invisible once. I overcame that. I can’t cut you out completely, not yet. But one day I can learn that I don’t need to feel anything for you at all. And I will, because you weren’t worth me drowning myself over.

2

No I’m not GAY that would have been a hell of a lot easier to hide. Though I do sleep with guys sometimes so I guess that makes me a little gay? I really stopped caring about that a long time ago to be honest.

Look, I’m a man. It’s really that damn simple for me but if Alison is going to make this into a “thing” it’s better if I explain. I don’t need her talking about me like I’m some abnormality she’s studying. Or worse like I’m some sort of victim. I know there’s a word for it and I hate it. “Transgender”. Alison always played it up like something cool like I was transcending gender boundaries. I don’t WANT to “transcend” anything. I want to be my damn self. I just want to be a guy without all these labels and bullshit. Honestly, now that we’re out here I never thought I’d have to again.

I’d always thought. Hey, Sixe- ALISON at least gets it. She always understood. Always accepted me. Without hesitation. Without question.


I guess I was wrong.

  • Me: wow this situation's gonna be uncomfortable
  • Brain: you know you can still Commit Suicide
  • Me: I can't just kill myself only because I want to avoid some situation. Stop telling me to kill myself all the time.
  • Brain: how about instead of thinking about this you just COMMIT SUICIDE
3

One thing I did during my reading of The Martian was get over my fear of writing on books. The conversations people have with their books through marginalia has always fascinated me, and it’s a tradition I wanted to be part of, but my own anxious personality never really allowed for that. Too precious about the page, you know? Books are beautiful things! They should be preserved as perfect copies!

I don’t really know what was different this time around. This is the first non-comic book I’ve picked up after a pretty lengthy reading slump, so maybe I was just tired and stopped caring. Making sure your books stay like new is hard work, but nothing cures some anxieties like exhaustion.

So now I’m writing on my books like a mad man. Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!

Anyway.

After experimenting with a couple of pencils and markers, I remembered a Fisher Space Pen I bought ages ago but never really got into the habit of using it because it’s a ballpoint and I prefer fine points. Fine points are not very kind to book pages, though (look I may have stopped caring but I’m sure as hell not going to torture these poor things either) so I tried the space pen out and it works beautifully. The inks goes on very smoothly and there is no bleed-through at all. Nice.

It did, however, take me an embarrassingly long time to realize that I was writing on a book about space with an actual space pen, but the thought made me incredibly happy just the same.

It’s the little things.

It really saddens me that I have to make a post like this again, but:

My uncle and his two children (12 and 9) need some help. He’s the primary source of income in their household, since his wife, while technically there, cares more about spending what little money she makes going out to bars every other night than she cares about taking care of her family. He was making good money as a truck driver up until a month and a half ago, when his boss at the time suddenly stopped giving him any work. He thought he’d qualify for unemployment since he’d been working at one job for so long, but his former boss messed up on the paperwork, so social services told him he didn’t qualify.

Since getting rejected for unemployment less than two weeks ago, he’s tried to get food stamps and emergency cash aid, but social services keeps asking for more paperwork (probably due to the same screw-up that ruined his eligibility for unemployment.) As of right now, he hasn’t been able to get any aid to help them in this financial emergency.

Everyone in my family has given them as much money as we possibly can, but this is their second month of having to pay bills with no income, so we aren’t able to cover everything in time this month. They need to pay their gas and electric bills in four days or else their heat and electricity will be shut off, and there are two school-age children living in their house. No child deserves to live in those conditions for any amount of time.

So I’m accepting emergency donations for them. Any amount we could raise would help immensely, but they need $300 to make sure they have their essential utilities paid. My paypal is kristinadens@aol.com. If you can even just reblog this post, I’d really appreciate it.

A Length of Silk and Some Well-Placed Knots

Dorian is used to feeling overwhelmed but he’s not used to someone caring.

Read on Ao3

If Dorian was still awake and paying close enough attention, he could hear the guard change signalling it was four in the morning. Normally, it meant it was time he stopped reading and got some sleep, but on nights like this it felt a little like being punched in the gut.

He had stopped reading hours ago, sparked by a headache and the realisation he had been mostly unproductive all day. That had led to a ceaseless voice in his head telling him he needed to be better, for the Inquisition, and a consuming anxiousness that made him want to curl up in the corner of the room.

Keep reading

So….got into a relatively major car accident last night/early this morning and will now require relatively major surgery…finally got my computer back only to see ya’ll still discoursing over some stuff that happened 24 hrs ago. 

Pain killers and general disgust with this fandom have loosened my tongue.

Please be clear: I literally do not care about cstia’s opinion about me, she doesn’t know me, has never spoken directly to me (despite her claim that she has “asked me to stop being lesbophobic numerous times) and honestly goes out of her way to manipulate the things that I’ve said (ex: deliberately taking sections of my posts instead of the full statement to make it seem as though the comment ended there), I was upset because someone I have actually spoken to, chatted with and even agreed to read Cl/xa fanfic for, would reblog that malicious comment (whether it was about “personality” or not, again don’t care).  

And then, I see a bunch of people still attacking Medha because “it’s lesbophobic to say that ya’ll tend to focus on the sexual aspect of Cl.xa”.

It’s not. I’m tired. Ya’ll do not get to play the victim after being assholes to people, but that’s the only thing ya’ll seem to know how to do. Every single last time ya’ll get called on your shit, it’s time to play the victim. Every time. Ya’ll are so predictable. 

“Only WLW can talk about the sexual aspect of Cl/xa”, guess what, I am a WLW, ya’ll do always, always, always speak about the sexual aspect of Cl/xa when discussing how valid it is (which completely disregards members of your fandom who are sex-repulsed, asexual or just otherwise do not care about sex), when ya’ll hijack Bellarke posts. 

But sure, make it seem like I’m the one focusing on the sex in Cl/xa. Ya’ll act like I’ve said that Cl/xa wasn’t real. I haven’t. I’ve said numerous times it was a real, valid romantic relationship. I’ve accepted and spoken openly about the officially canon via word of God (JRoth) statement that Cl/xa were soulmates. I have said often that I respect and appreciate what Cl/xa means for the LGBTQA community (including myself-because I am a WLW), because it is important for WLW to be able to see people who love like us normalized in media. I literally do not hate your ship because I’m a lesbophobe. I hate your ship because it reminds me of an abusive relationship. I hate your ship because ya’ll attack everyone who doesn’t like it. I hate your ship because it’s full of racists. I hate your ship because of it’s fandom.

Not liking literally one WLW ship and speaking out against it’s fandom, not the ship the fandom, does not make you a lesbophobe. The end. 

I’m done. Ya’ll will never make me feel the way you did yesterday again. Ya’ll do not know me. You will never actually know me. I know who I am and I know that I am good, kind, honest, generous, caring, loving and strong.

NOW

                     I think i lost my temper at my previous post because of some anon haters.Some of them went beyond the limit with their words. 

                     First i want to say all knows that i ask people before i convert their cc, read and respect tous. But i know many old creators left the community many years ago.Although their tou didnt allow conversions at that time, after leaving community for many years i know many of them dont even care about sims . 

                  So please stop being a cc police. I write and mention about creators in each my post. If they tell me that they are disturbed of converting their meshes , i absoultely will delete my post. And they will surely contact me if they are disturbed as i m not very new in the community.

About 2 weeks ago we were texting at 2AM when you asked me how I would describe you. The question caught me off guard a little because I didn’t know how to be honest without hurting you. So I stuck with ‘smart, fun, obnoxious at times, and caring in your own way' you said 'what ways that’ and I said 'I'm not sure’ and then added 'how would you describe me?’ Of course you “fell asleep” and decided to stop talking to me after that. Annoying but not unexpected. 

Well, some time has passed and I want to change my answer. I could go on and on with explicit profanity and name calling (which don’t get me wrong I want to do) but the thing is, you’re more than just an asshole. You’re a coward. You manipulate, you say things you don’t mean, you are selfish, and you’re incredibly misleading. 

And when you asked me to describe you I really did want to tell you these things, but I wasn’t ready to lose you quiet yet. Because the truth is, you always made my heart skip a beat, you were fun, you made me think deeper and feel deeper, and I really did believe you were caring in your own way. I wasn’t ready to let you go because the last time I did that it was a hellish 10 months and I was afraid. 

Now, I’m still afraid but I’m really starting to believe that I truly don’t need you. I don’t need your lies, your confusion, or manipulation. I don’t need people in my life that constantly reinforce my daunting sense of worthlessness. Because deep deep down I know I am worth more than putting up with your shit.

And you can go into your spiral of self hate and say how much 'you suck’ all you want but that doesn’t mean anything unless there’s action behind it.

I really loved you. God, I loved you a lot. You were one of the few I’d drop everything for. But I’m done pretending that that’s enough. Because it’s not and it never will be for you.

I hope you eventually find that there’s more to life than this and change is possible but not from an apathetic heart.

And you don’t have to worry about any more hard messages or me ever wanting or trying to be in your life again because I don’t; its not worth my time.

—  my closure letter to the one who broke my heart again and again
No more interviews PLEASE

Can we stop paying attention to them? Like canon is now dead to me. I don’t really care about whatever else kishimoto is going to publish anymore. so why give a shit about what these publishers/associates think?

I just want to ship narusaku in peace, but every time some interview about the naruto ending pops up-it wrecks havoc on our ship tag. We just had narusaku day two nights ago, why ruin that positivity already with more ship bickering with nh/ss?