so i never forget how it all began

Every Other Weekend pt. 10

Prompt: After five years of marriage and two kids, you and Bucky decide you can’t make it work anymore.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 1,368

Warnings: divorce, angst, cheating, language

A/N: TAGGING IS CLOSED. sorry it has taken so long!!!! but a heartbreaking part for y’all. (the last paragraph thoughhhhh.) 

Tagged: @all-around-geek @frolicsomefawkes @awwtommo @courtneychicken @lorenaheartsyou @irepeldirt @tardisin221bst@ok-ladies-lets-get-in-formation @elegantnightmareshiro @stomachfilledwithbutterflies @demongodess @buckyb-avengers @panda-reads-stuff @basse53

Part 9


Originally posted by chrisevansgifs

(the gif is for the flashback, nice.)

Steve opened the door to the small room and began to speak. “So the space is pretty full. A few more minutes and we’ll be ready to go.” You could tell when he turned towards you because he seemed to forget how to speak. “W-wow.” Steve breathed deeply as his eyes moved all over you. “You look absolutely breathtaking, better than I imagined.” His jaw was on the floor and you felt yourself blush. “Bucky’s going to lose his mind. In a good way, though.” Steve smiled. There was something different in his eyes that you’d never seen before, or never noticed. He seemed happy, yeah. But there was something else there.

You adjusted the flower in your hair as you stared at your reflection in the full length mirror. You felt like you’d waited for this day for forever. Or at least since you had fallen in love with Bucky. And it was finally here. After all of the planning and cake tasting and seating charts, it was here. “Thank you.” You smiled as you turned towards Steve, messing with the skirt of your dress. Taking a deep breath, you grabbed the bouquet of elaborate flowers and closed your eyes.

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It’s hard to think about the end. Because there was no end, not really. We didn’t fight or cheat or lie. It isn’t as if I can pinpoint the moments we began to crack. Mornings drifting into days and weeks and months, so slowly we hardly recognized it was happening at all. We just stopped loving each other. Forgetting how to hold and understand and revere. Lazy nights spent on the couch, and moments of missing you, and unanswered calls. Unanswered everything. Sometimes that’s the hardest part of it all: not knowing why.
—  excerpt from a book I’ll never write

From the first day you talked to me, my mind unfurled with the possibilities of you and I. You drew me closer to you through your words without even meaning to.

 You made me forget my past heartbreak instantly and so my mind began painting you as the hero of the story.

So, why did I think you would really be the man I’d dreamed up all along? Why do I feel so disappointed at how my wishful thinking and foolish expectations let me down?
But, mostly, why do I long for you still? 
Even when the thought of you hurts more than it should.

—  reminsces
Flamakness SoMa Week 2017: Day 1- Confession

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Masterpost 

Flamedork | Mrsashketchum | Flamakness Collab Tag

“Eggsquisite Taste”

To call out or to let be, that was the question.

He never found it necessary to be cautious of Maka, even when they hardly knew each other during their not-so-humble beginnings. Dignity… Loyalty… those were traits that he knew they shared, retaining unshaken trust within each other to do the right thing for themselves and for their families. But when Maka committed the most ultimate form of betrayal- well, let’s just say that Soul didn’t know if he could ever regain his confidence in her ever again.

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lonely night

genre: angst

star of the show: NCT’s Jaehyun

word count: 1,155 words

careful note: explicit language. read at your own discretion.

Originally posted by yuseols

opening line: “I can only say I’m sorry for not trying hard enough to hold onto you when you once felt the same way for me as I do for you now.”

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Jealous - Fred Weasley

Summary: can you write angry Fred Weasley smut?
Warnings: smut smut smut smuuuut

‘’(Y/N)! Concentrate!’’ George yelled from the other side of the field. You muttered an apology eventhough he couldn’t hear it. He threw you the Quaffle and you flew off, trying to get past Harry who tried to block you. You looked up at the sky, the clouds that had been wispy and white this morning were now darker and more dense. You succeeded on getting past Harry once again and threw the Quaffle through one of the hoops. ‘’Well done!’’ Harry cheered.

The three of you decided to quit this training session, and you all flew back to the ground. You quickened your pace when you looked at the sky again, this was not the day to be caught in a downpaur. But it was too late. The rain fell in crazy chaotic drops, the gusting wind carrying them in wild vortices one moment and in diagonal sheets the next. It runs down your face as a thin layer, not as cold as it will be when November comes, but without the warmth of summer showers.

‘’You guys are soaked! Quick, come on in!’’ Molly said when she saw Harry, George and you walking to the front door of the Burrow. ‘’Dinner’s ready too,’’ she said, she gave you all some towels and you joined the rest of the inhabitants of the Burrow for dinner.

‘’It’s delicious Molly, as always,’’ you said, complimenting her. She smiled at you, the woman adored you. Everyone was talking, until George changed the subject of the conversation to Quidditch. ‘’She’s defenitly going to make the team!’’ he said and threw his arm around your shoulder. ‘’And if Harry is captain again this year, you don’t even need to try that hard,’’ he said, jokingly. ‘’Yes Harry, listen to him. He speaks wise words,’’ you said, laughing, leaning into George’s side.
‘’Aren’t you happy for your girlfriend, Fred?’’ Bill asked, noticing he hasn’t said a word yet. ‘’Ofcourse I am,’’ he snapped back.

Ofcourse he has happy for her. When he first heard she wanted some help with Quidditch, he was more than happy to help his girlfriend out. That was until she seemed to care more about the opinion of his twin brother than his. And maybe he was overreacting, but honestly, he didn’t care. He felt like you would rather spend time with George than him.

There fell an uncomfortable silence at the table for mere minutes. ‘’Hermione, Ginny, are you going to help me with the dishes?’’ Molly asked them, trying to ease the tension everyone felt. You took this opportunity to talk to Fred. ‘’What’s wrong?’’ you whispered, bending closer to his face. ‘’Nothing,’’ he hissed back.

After dinner you saw Fred trying to sneak away to his room. Oh no mister, that’s not about to happen, you thought. You quickly walked over to him and grabbed his wrist, ‘’We need to talk,’’ you said, barely louder than a whisper. Without another word he turned around and walked up the stairs. You followed him to his room and took a seat on George’s bed, facing him.

‘’What is wrong?’’ you asked him again. ‘’Nothing, I told you,’’ ‘’Don’t give me that bullshit,’’ Why wouldn’t he just tell you? ‘’Really (Y/N), just leave it,’’ he said, standing up. He drew his hands over his face in frustration. ‘’No, there’s obviously something bothering you,’’ ‘’I can’t stand it, okay?’’ he whispered. ‘’What?’’ you said, you genuinely hadn’t heard him. ‘’I cant stand it anymore!’’ he shouted at you. ‘’What?!’’ you said, standing up yourself. ‘’Oh you know,’’ he said bitterly. ‘’No I don’t,’’ You wondered what it was that bothered him so much. ‘’Why don’t you go ask George?’’ his voice had never sounded so cold. ‘’George?’’ you asked confused. ‘’What does he have to do with this?’’ ‘’Everything! God, (Y/N), why don’t you go and just snog him already?’’ ‘’This is really about George?’’ you asked, bewildered. ‘’God Fred, why don’t you just spit it out already because I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about!’’ He sighed deep, ‘’Never mind, forget about it,’’ he said softly. ‘’No! For fuck’s sake Fred, you’re my boyfriend, I care about you!’’ you began to feel rather irritated. Was it that hard to just spit it out?!  ‘’Oh so you remember me? You remember that you have a fucking boyfriend,’’ Fred said, sounding frustrated again.

‘’Fred, you can tell me whatever is crossing your mind,’’ you said, all irritation and frustration leaving your voice. ‘’How about I show you,’’ he said with a clenched jaw. He grabbed you by your waist and pinned you against the wall. ‘’Fred what the fuck?’’ you said. Your eyes widened when he rolled his hips into yours and pressed his erection against your lower belly. ‘’Fred, no, now is not th-‘’ he crashed his lips into yours, silencing you. Before you knew it he had unbuttoned your pants, slid them halfway down your legs and pushed his hand into your panties. He smirked at your growing wetness.

‘’I’m going to fuck you hard, against this wall,’’ he growled. He pushed your panties to the side and pulled his zipper down, freeing his throbbing erection. You took his erection in your hand and placed it at your entrance, sinking down on it. A strangled moan left Fred’s mouth, he picked up your leg and placed it at his waist, reaching deeper inside you.

He pulled out of you and immediatley slammed back in. A whimper left your mouth, god he was hitting all the right places.

‘’Who fuck’s you this good?’’ he said throatily. You didn’t answer, so he pushed deeper and harder. ‘’Oh god,’’ you moaned. ‘’You Fred, you!’’ ‘’That’s right,’’ He grabbed you more tightly against his chest and thrusted even harder. Whimpers left your mouth, you couldn’t hold back anymore. ‘’Yes, let them know who fuck’s you this good,’’ he whispered in her ear. ‘’Mine, fucking mine,’’

Fred felt your walls starting to clench around him and placed you back against the wall. He buried his face in your neck and planted sloppy kisses there whilest his thrust began to slow down. He brought his hand down to your clit and started to rub circles, helping you get to your high. Your mouth had the shape of an ‘o’ and you threw your head back against the wall. He too came with a loud moan in your ear, which got you hot and bothered all over again.

‘’Fuck, I’m so sorry,’’ he whispered, his face still buried in your neck.

#7: The End

Don’t know how I managed to make this a 7 part ficlet thingy – but thanks for reading!

I’m about to go devour some pozole, so I’ll catch y’all in the new year!

Leave comments, send me questions, request stuff!

And, as always, thank you :) x

#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6

“So are you guys dating again, or?” asked Harrison as he stirred some sugar into his tea. You were at Tom and Haz’s house out in England, enjoying the warm summertime. 

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anonymous asked:

Mafia AU: Bokuto, Kyoutani and Hinata's civilian s/o (who doesn't know they're in a gang) seeing them kill for the first time?

Here I go with my angsty ass. Some parts are more sad than others, but it’s the Mafia life. What do you expect?

Bokuto Koutaro:

Since the day your relationship started he vowed to protect you from the unsightly element sin his life. What exactly that was you were unsure of until you found yourself eye to eye with the face of a dead man. Bokuto was breathing heavily, almost as if he was having a panic attack at the expression on your face. He made a promise and he couldn’t keep it. It was only a matter of time before he fucked up.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I never should have involved you with my life.” He muttered, burying his face in his hands as he began to pace, running through all the possibilities of how he could make you forget what you had seen. 

Your mind felt muddled in confusion and terror as realization danced on you that Bokuto had just killed a man in front of you, almost too naturally. There were a million questions you wanted to ask, but neither of you were in a condition to think rationally. You needed to breathe.

Shakily you stood from your spot on the pavement, suddenly feeling lightheaded for a moment before calling out to your distraught lover. “Kou, I need to go home,” He nearly jumped at your voice, fumbling to say he’d take you home right now. Even so, he was still a sweetheart. “Alone. I need some time to think things over. You understand, right?”

His stomach dropped into his ass, but he knew this was to be expected. He just killed a man in front of you for god’s sake. “I get it.” Bokuto sighed, watching with sad eyes as your back filled his vision, not bothering to look back because if you did, you’d both crumble.

Kyoutani Kentaro:

You knew all to well the short temper your lover had, being the one to calm him from his rage before he could do anything he’d regret. But this time he didn’t regret pulling the trigger on the bastard who came far too close to you. A man with malicious intent. Being part of the mafia had it’s downsides, promises to lead a life of loneliness unless you want to watch the ones you love be turned against you.

You shouldn’t have been surprised to be put in such a position, but you were in shock. There was a man lying dead in front of you, there wasn’t anyone who wouldn’t be afraid. Unless this was only a daily repercussion for someone like him. 

Kyoutani spared you a glance, body stiffening as you sat motionless on the ground, eyes fixated on the blood slowly trickling out from the lifeless heap. He hated this. He hated himself. The last thing he wanted was to hurt the one he held so dear to him, accepted him despite his faults. You watched as he clenched and unclenched his fists, appearing conflicted as if in a struggle with himself. You’d admit that you were scared, not of him, but rather for him. Whatever he was involved in you wanted to help deal with.

“Ken, let’s go home.” You called out to him softly, and for the first time in a while Kyoutani felt relief. Why weren’t you running away? Why don’t you hate him? “Please, we can sort this out when we get home.”

Golden eyes bore into you as he finally turned to face you, unsure of what to make of anything. “This needs to-I have to take care of this…” There was something about his voice that made you sure he’d come home to you.

Gently, you leaned up to place a chaste kiss to his cheek, fingers tracing his jaw lightly. “Be careful, and please come home to me.”

Hinata Shoyou:

He didn’t want to do this, not in front of you at least. It was naive to think that he could lead a double life with the hopes of not getting you involved with the mafia. How foolish. 

The shot echoed through your ears as you watched with wide eyes as a body hit the ground with a thud, a pool of velvet already beginning to form.  You couldn’t breathe nor think, stricken with fear and confusion as you watched the man you love pocket the gun before making a beeline towards you. This wasn’t right. Hinata, the boy who was quite literally a ray of sunshine, the one who made you misshapen omelets in the morning, and even shared his gloves with you on cold days had just killed someone. Nothing made sense and your world was spinning out of control from your finger tips. 

The redhead knew all to well the expression on your face, one of fear and confusion. He cursed himself for dragging you into this, but he knew that trying to explain himself would only make it worse. 

“You need to leave.” His voice, normally warm and gentle, was cold now, no hint of emotion. His expression had hardened into a mask, trying to hide the hurt as you stared at him, mouth agape. 

The words were lodged in your throat, unable to make a sound as you flitted between the blood and your lover. “Bu-But I–I can’t-” You never finished, quickly being shoved out of the alleyway, sirens already sounding from the near distance. 

“It’s better this way. You shouldn’t be involved with someone like me.” Hint growled, turning towards the alley once more before bidding you a final farewell. “Goodbye, ___.”

Locker Room Confessions.

I sat in the locker room amongst my teammates, preparing for the practice today. If anything I wanted to be at home with Y/N. When I left, she was peacefully asleep so I didn’t get to say much to her before I left. I had the urge to wake her up for an early morning quickie but decided against it, letting her get her sleep. But now I was regretting my decision and was stuck with her on my mind.

I had never felt so attached to a woman before her even though we had only been dating for a few months. She had a hold on me that I couldn’t describe on matter how much I tried to deny it in the beginning. She could practically ask me to do anything and no matter how ridiculous the request, I would probably comply.

Mats speaking jolted me out of my thoughts about her. “You got any plans tonight, Marco? We were thinking about heading out for some food and drinks later.”

“I won’t be able to make it, man. I have plans with Y/N.” I wasn’t as vocal about my relationship with Y/N to the team. They had all met her once at an event but I wasn’t one to confess just how much I liked her to anyone else. The guys were quick to make fun of anyone too smitten too early so I stayed quiet. For all they knew, she was just another woman to me and nothing official.

Sven quickly jumped into the conversation. “Y/N? Isn’t that the girl from a few months ago you brought around? You still talk to her?”

I nodded and slid into my socks. “Yeah, I do. We date,” I admitted. I figured if I didn’t do it now, the guys would soon find out anyway.

“Really?” Sven questioned. For the most part, the guys didn’t know me as the type to settle down so once they all heard I had, they seemed to be more engaged in the conversation. “She’s hot. You sure this isn’t a good fuck you’re not willing to let go of yet?”

I glared at Sven. I knew she was much more, even potentially wife material, but I didn’t want to heave out all of my emotions in the locker room. “No. It’s not that.” And I left it at that. I finished putting on my other sock, only stopping when I heard the next statement.

“Well I’ll admit I’d have sex with her,” Mitch joked which immediately got laughter from the rest of the guys except me. This was the exact reason I didn’t bring up women that mattered in the locker room.

I could feel myself getting upset and it would only get worse if the conversation continued. “Don’t talk about her like that,” I warned.

“What?” Mitch held up his hands in defense. “Erik already did. Don’t look at me like that.”

My face immediately scrunched in confusion. I wasn’t sure I was hearing correctly. “What?” Mats looked around the room nervously before clapping his hands together as a way to signal the end of the conversation. “Let’s get out on the pitch, eh?” he suggested but I wasn’t done with the conversation.

“What did you say?” I stood up from my seat and waited for Mitch to acknowledge me. He turned to me and shrugged carelessly. “Erik slept with her.” My eyes immediately dashed to Erik who sat meekly, avoiding eye contact with me as if he hadn’t heard the conversation.

But that didn’t stop me from approaching him. “You had sex with Y/N?” My steps continued to move forward until Mats stepped in to stop my movement, his hands to my chest as a way to create a barrier and protection for Durm.

“To be fair, it was before you two got together,” Mitch added. I scowled in his direction to signal him to shut up. “Let him talk for himself,” I spoke and then turned back to Erik who now stood behind Mats with an apologetic look on his face. The look wasn’t enough for me to calm my anger or feel even the least bit less upset with him.

“It was before you two got together. It was nothing. Just sex,” Erik finally spoke over Mats shoulder who refused to move afraid that another word said would set me off.

“How long ago was this?” I knew I shouldn’t have asked for this unneeded detail but I had to. Erik shrugged and guessed for an answer. “Like a year ago.”

It was before me and Y/N met but I still felt hurt. It was only months before I met her and I had no idea it had happened or that she even knew Erik prior to me introducing them. The pair had played it off so well when I introduced them to each other, smiling and saying how nice it was to meet each other yet the two were already familiar well before that night.

I was pissed. I felt like I had been lied to.

Everyone could now feel the silent tension in the room and began to make their way out, including Erik. The only person that remained now aside from me was Mats. “You okay?” he inquired and I nodded though I was far from it.

He gave me an encouraging smile and patted my shoulder, turning us to head out of the door.

I didn’t feel any calmer while I was out on the pitch. My mind just kept envisioning Erik and Y/N having sex and it was setting me off. It was bad timing for Erik as the ball landed at his feet and he advanced towards the goal. I quickly ran forward and a switch lit in me, reigniting my anger to a new height. No one could even stop me if they wanted as I finally reached him, purposely sticking out my leg to challenge him and sending him harshly to the ground.

I quickly hopped off of the cool ground unbothered while he remained, writhing in temporary pain and grimacing while holding his calf. “Reus! What the hell are you doing?!” Jurgen yelled out in disbelief.

“That was nothing. He’ll get over it.“ I peered down at Erik who still lay on the ground before jogging off and back to my position.

I didn’t grow any less irritated during practice and my mood was stuck at such when I arrived home unfortunately for Y/N who was about to feel it. I slammed the door of my home shut, knowing she was still here from earlier.

“Marco?” She called out and I could hear the patter of footsteps as she ran out to greet me. A smile decorated her face when she got close enough and held out her arms to embrace me in a hug but I held my arms down by my side. A frown now replaced her smile when she realized I wasn’t in quite the chipper mood.

“What’s wrong?” she questioned. I didn’t plan on holding off the conversation so I stated my rebuttal.

“You slept with Erik?” Her furrowed brows and slightly agape mouth let me know she was taken off guard by the question. “What?”

“Did. You. Sleep. With. Erik? Don’t play dumb Y/N.” She shook her head incredulously. “Where is this coming from?” she inquired.

“I was with my teammates today and we somehow got on the conversation of you fucking Erik. Thank you for telling me,” I spewed sarcastically. “Well how was I supposed to bring that up? That was forever ago and it was just sex.” She was in defense mode but that didn’t matter to me.

A bitter laugh rose from my throat and I threw my head back. “Just sex? It had to have been more or you wouldn’t have played stupid like you didn’t know him when I introduced you two. I’m just glad I found this out now before I had truly given you all of me and been left to look stupid when the guy giving a toast at my fucking wedding reception fucked you too!” My tone was at a high volume as my temper flared to new heights.

“You’re so dramatic!” She yelled back. “No matter when you found out, you’d be mad. I’m not sitting here asking you every woman you’ve ever slept with!” I didn’t find her comparison satisfactory and waved her off. “That’s not even close to the same. I have to see that guy all the time. We’re friends! And now I have to sit and think about…just forget it.” I began to walk past her but she simply grabbed for my arm and pulled me back in front of her.

Her tone was now calm again. “I’m sorry. I should have told you but I didn’t know how to bring it up so I was just going to act like it never happened. It was just one time and it didn’t mean anything to me or Erik. He probably didn’t want it to be awkward so don’t be mad at him for not telling you. I’m the one in the relationship with you. It should have been on me to let you know.”

Her voice always found a way to calm me down, even when I didn’t want to be. It was like her energy sapped into me as well and I could feel the heat of my anger cooling. “I love you, Marco. I would never do anything to hurt you and if I could go back and know that I’d end up with you I’d never have had that night happen.”

I stood looking at her in disbelief. The “L” word had never left her lips until now and it was a shock to hear it as it rang in my ears on repeat causing me to forget what I was even mad about. “Did you just say you love me?”

Her eyes shied away from mine as she realized she had let her true feelings slip. I took her face in my hands to force her to look at me. “Huh? You love me?” I questioned again, searching her eyes.

Y/N nodded and tried to hold back the sting of tears glazing her eyes. I forcefully trapped my lips onto hers before inching my face back, still holding her between my hands. “I love you too. I’m sorry for overreacting. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I just felt embarrassed for finding out in front of everyone but I can’t be too mad. This all happened before me. I’m just glad I’m the one you ended up with.”

A grin spread her full lips. “It’s always just been you, Marco.”

I wasn’t sure if I would ever fully forget. In fact, I knew I wouldn’t but I was pacified by the fact that Y/N was someone I truly loved and I wasn’t willing to give her up over something like this.

they grew pieces of paper more important than your heartbeat
and fixed clocks faster than your breath. did anyone else hear
the cars move at the speed of sound, how much faster can we
get? he tells me of performances, of whiskey, of smoky bars so
far away from my home i’ll forget what home is and i go. flying
like we’d never die throughout the night, but then it became
heavy, his eyelids, his nose, the paper pin and all the gin, and
what was supposed to be beautiful now became ugly and that’s
how you get lost. you follow the beautiful thing until it becomes
ugly, usually just long enough for you to forget all of the turns.
you let his breath lead you through the darkness, usually just
long enough for you to forget where you began.

312: "Thank You, Merry! Snow Falls over the Parting Sea!"

If someone had told me, “NWOP, in the future, you will sit in front of your computer and leak tears over a fictional pirate ship” I would have rolled my eyes.

Well, now I cannot roll my eyes because they are sore from tears.

Thanks, Oda. God damn…

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anonymous asked:

How do you feel about Nesta? There are a ton of posts saying how great she is, but I'm really conflicted about her, because I think we're all forgetting how she let her fourteen year old little sister go into a dangerous forest to provide for them. I mean, if a half starved fourteen year could learn how to hunt, whose to say Nesta couldn't try? On top of that, at the beginning of ACOTAR, it describes how Nesta was more of a burden anything.

I adore Nesta’s character I think she’s completely and utterly fascinating, complicated, contradictory and allowed. I already went on an emotional Nesta rant over here that touches on some of this and makes a good explanation of Nesta (well at least for me) so we’ll not repeat that but to address your questions (which are important and interesting) I will expand on them here okay: 

The hunting thing is interesting and I’d have an issue with it (and an issue with Nesta perhaps) if it was never addressed or mentioned again. But it is. And I think it’s tied into your second point about Nesta being a burden so I’m going to talk about these together. 

All of these characters have certain trigger points that make them angry or upset. For Feyre it’s her insecurity and her worth - she wants to matter, she wants to mean something to someone and this plays absolutely hugely into her falling for Tamlin, the way that relationship becomes abusive and then her recovery and why her relationship with Rhys. 

Feyre and Nesta are mentioned a few times as being quite similar. Feyre describes them as being two sides of the same coin and I think that’s true. And I think that one of the things that upsets Nesta is similar to the thing that upsets Feyre: “You’re a burden.” Feyre says that to her and that’s what makes her completely snap at her. I think Nesta hates that. 

I think Nesta is fiercely independent and it’s both a positive thing but it also has negative outcomes for her. I don’t think she likes having to rely on anyone else; I don’t think she likes feeling that she’s a burden; I think she wants to be self-sustaining; she doesn’t want to have to let anyone in, she doesn’t want to have to depend on anyone else for anything and Feyre makes her in a way?

 She depends on Feyre in the biggest way possible: for her very survival. And that makes her vulnerable. It gives her a weakness of sorts; she can’t look after herself and I think that she resents Feyre for that reason, for looking after her, for showing that she’s only human, that she has flaws and faults; that she can’t do everything herself; that you can’t go through life alone and treat everything like a battlefield - there are some wars you can’t win on your own. Feyre reminds her of that, of her humanity, of her weaknesses, of her inability to protect and care for those she loves. 

 “There are days,” Nesta said as she paused in front of the door to her room, across from mine, “when I want to ask him if he remembers the years he almost let us starve to death.”
“You spent every copper I could get, too,” I reminded her.
“I knew you could always get more. And if you couldn’t, then I wanted to see if he would ever try to do it himself, instead of carving those bits of wood. If he would actually go out and fight for us. I couldn’t take care of us, not the way you did. I hated you for that. But I hated him more. I still do.”

Not everyone is cut out to make it the way Feyre is. Feyre and Nesta are both fighters; they’re both survivors; they’ll both do whatever it takes to save the ones they love; that’s how they’re the same coin. But they’re two different sides of it. They have different strengths and different abilities. 

Nesta as the eldest was trained much more for a life at court for example. She was taught to read and write and look and listen, to calculate, to play people,to manipulate, to work situations to her advantage. But she wasn’t made to hunt and stalk through the woods; to teach herself how to do the things that Feyre did. Feyre has a wildness to her, a stubborn spirit; Nesta is calculating and cunning and clever. They have the same drives and the same desires but not the same skillsets.  

Elain, who Nesta would have killed and whored and stolen for.

Feyre is aware (and this is something she thinks in ACOTAR too; the lengths Nesta will go to to save Elain) of the things that Nesta will do. Feyre is aware; as Nesta herself is aware; that she doesn’t have the ability to go into the woods and hunt the way that Feyre did. She would have found other ways to keep Elain alive; she would have sold herself and destroyed herself for Elain but she couldn’t support her the way that Feyre did. And I don’t think anyone hates that fact more than Nesta herself does. 

 “What happened to Tomas Mandray?” I asked, the words strangled.
“I realized he wouldn’t have gone with me to save you from Prythian.”
And for her, with that raging, unrelenting heart, it would have been a line in the sand.

For Nesta I don’t think there’s anything more important to her than protecting those she cares about. She despises her father because he never did that; he never fought; he let her mother die and he would have let all of them die too without lifting a finger and Nesta couldn’t stand that. 

She didn’t fight for Feyre and didn’t stop her going into those woods because not only did she need it but Elain needed it. “I knew you could always get more” is actually quite an interesting line with regards to Feyre, who thought she was irrelevant and unimportant, who thought the others didn’t notice what she did for them and the role she played for them. 

Nesta did. Nesta saw and Nesta resented and she wasn’t fully capable of putting her feelings about it all into words but they were there. She saw Feyre’s value and her abilities and she didn’t try and coddle or mother her. Nesta is very direct, very blunt: there was no point in trying to stop Feyre hunting. They needed it. Nesta knew they needed it. Feyre knew they needed it. Nesta knew she couldn’t do it and had no choice but to let Feyre do it. So she did. 

Nesta would buy Elain time to run. Not my father, whom she resented with her entire steely heart. Not me, because Nesta had always known and hated that she and I were two sides of the same coin, and that I could fight my own battles. But Elain, the flower-grower, the gentle heart … Nesta would go down swinging for her.

Nesta will fight for Elain because Elain is the gentle heart, the one who she believes cannot fight the way that Feyre and Nesta do. Nesta and Feyre both fight for those who cannot fight for themselves and the people that they love. That’s what drove Feyre into that forest every day; it’s what would have driven Nesta to sell herself and it’s what would have stopped either of them from preventing the other if there was no other way. 

I think these sisters have an understanding of one another. I think they get each other. I think they’re actually very similar in a lot of ways and I think that’s why Feyre doesn’t hold this against Nesta. Especially not after that moment when she learns that Nesta hired a mercenary to take her to Prythian; Prythian, the land she hates and fears and resents; to the door of a beast who broke down her door and attempted to enslave her mind; through wolf territory she’d never set foot in in order to save Feyre. 

Nesta never stopped Feyre going into those woods when she was a child and Nesta never tried to do anything about it because Nesta knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t take over from Feyre and hunt the way she did (but if Feyre hadn’t been there I feel absolutely sure that Nesta would have found a way to help Elain; it’s just not one I particularly want to consider; she would have wrecked herself for Elain but only if they were that desperate) So she let Feyre go. Because she knew Feyre could take care of herself; could fight her own battles; and because she knew there was no choice. 

Does that make her a bad person or just a desperate pragmatist? I don’t know. All I know about Nesta is that she absolutely fascinates me and I utterly adore her character. And this is a point that the narrative brings up; we never forget how this began and what sparked off the chain of events that led us here. Cassian in particular reminds Nesta of this fact, he throws it in her face incredibly starkly in ACOMAF. 

Elain sums it up quite neatly I think 

Elain sat a little higher as she said to Cassian, “And as for Feyre’s hunting during those years, it was not Nesta’s neglect alone that is to blame. We were scared, and had received no training, and everything had been taken, and we failed her. Both of us.

I don’t think either of them will do so again. I don’t think Nesta will ever apologise for that; I don’t think Feyre will ever expect her to and I don’t think she’d know what to do with it if she did. But I think Nesta and Feyre both do what they can for each other and I think they both love each other very deeply. And I think when it comes down to it, in ACOTAR 3, no matter how she resents it and how it came about, Nesta will use whatever gifts the Cauldron gave her and fight for her sisters. For both of them. Because she can now. And she won’t fail her sisters again. Neither of them will. 

Nesta I think is who she is. And she’s utterly unapologetic about that fact. She has strengths and they’re not exaggerated or idealised and she has flaws that are not completely forgiven but neither are they unduly condemned. She’s a very grey character (as most are in this series) she has good and bad in; she’s made good and bad choices; done good and bad things. Which I think makes her an excellent character and one of the reasons people like her so much. 

I also think it’s also incredibly rare to find a female character like Nesta. Who is allowed to not only have flaws but who is allowed to own them and refuse to apologise for them. Nesta is cold and pragmatic and calculating and Nesta will not change for anyone or anything. Whether or not that’s entirely right or wrong is a matter of personal judgement but I think it makes her intriguing. Too often we see characters like Nesta broken or completely change to try and ‘correct’ those flaws. Here she lives with them, she works around them, she does the best she can with them and that makes her realistic and relatable and makes for a fascinating character study. 

So yes, the bottom line is: I love Nesta Archeron’s character. I think it’s something to be celebrated. I think her development and the understanding you gain as the books progress are important to note as well. And I can’t wait to see what’s in store for her in ACOTAR 3. 

Porcelain horrors


I’d rather this remain anonymous if that’s alright? Sorry if it’s a bother but I can just hear the anons fly forward with their raging tools of “THIS IS FAKE LOLHAX”

Anyway, I have a story

I was born into a ‘fancy’ family. Fancy clothes, fancy house, fancy gifts for the fancy kids. My annual ‘fancy’ gift was a porcelain doll. I’d receive one for Easter, Christmas, and my birthday. Sometimes I’d have one bought for me ‘just because I thought you’d like it’. By the time I was seven, I had around thirty of them; all different shapes and sizes, but all having the same blank stare and stupid closed smile face.

My memory of this time is very vague. It’s like a projection animation where its very rough and grainy with foggy edges, y’know? But I remember two things very clearly. 1.) I had one doll I was madly obsessed with. 2.) This doll and all the others were madly obsessed with torturing me.

I named her Mary. It only took two or three days for me to come up with the name of the new doll my grandmother purchased for me. It just came to me. I didn’t know anyone named Mary.

She was petite, sat at a tiny desk and had rosy cheeks with dark brown hair. She was perfect and I adored her. You could actually remove ‘Mary’ from this little desk, but her legs didn’t bend out of the sitting position. Oh well!

I had tea parties with Mary, I carted Mary around the yard with me. I tucked Mary into bed for naptime and when it was my turn to sleep, she always had to go on the shelf in the same spot. I was a strange kid, I apologize and warn ahead of time.

About a month after I got Mary, things began happening. I no longer cared about my other porcelain dolls. I just wanted to spend time with Mary. At first it was stupid coincidences. I’d come into my room after school and my light would be on, my bed unkempt (my family was fancy, remember?) , my toys scattered pointlessly across the floor. I’d pick them up in confusion then go out to play in the leaves. However, it got worse. I’d awaken in the middle of night to scuffling. When I’d investigate I’d discover them all facing the back of the shelf. It then went from facing the wrong way, to on the wrong shelves; or even on the floor at times.

I’d come home from lessons and see them scattered about. None broken or even posed differently. All off their stands, though.

I had a friend (Calling her “Emily”) visit a few times, we’d rush up to my room to play. We wouldn’t notice much while we played with barbies, but every time my grandfather would walk into my room to check on us, he’d scold me for not ‘cleaning up my messes’ and inform me to go pick up my dolls. I’d look to see what he was talking about and find all my dolls placed across the floor.

The most notably was the time Emily was over and we were talking about riding horses in the morning so we would go to bed early. We slept in the same bed, so I was a bit upset when I woke up to her hogging the entire bed by pressing herself up against my side. I went to push her away, but she clung tighter. I rose up to see what she was looking at… And there sat Mary at the edge of my bed. Her legs hung off, her painted smile and brown curls just as straight as ever. But how she got there was beyond me.

Emily left before we could ride horses.

Angry, I walked up to my room to scold Mary.

“Why did you chase her away!”

I remember it seemed rational then that she could understand me and know I was mad at her. I refused to play with her anymore, so I sat her on my shelf and left it at that.

I don’t recall how long after the main activity began, but it was so much worse.

The dolls would rearrange themselves. Mary would always end up face down on the ground.

The dolls would all gather off the shelves and onto the floor surrounding it

I got sick of it, so I shoved them all into my reading nook and threw a blanket over them. It seemed to anger them?

I’d wake up with a few in my bed now and then.

I’d wake up with them under my bed.

And I will never forget the time I walked the two main culprits back to my reading nook, covered them up, and turned around to see little doll-feet sticking out from under my comforters.

It happened so fast, so when I pulled back the comforter I wasn’t expecting to find the dolls I just placed down moments before to be staring up at me with their little unblinking eyes.

I lost hours of sleep and grew cranky.

This is when my memory began really skipping.

Winter passed and in the spring we decided to plant a garden. I was out helping ‘save’ Cherokee roses from the fence line we planned on planting tomatoes next to. (AKA, picking them off the vine to put them in a vase of water). I hear a gasp and look behind me to see my grandmother and grandfather conversing next to our propane tank. I walk over to see what they were doing and see them scraping muddy ground away from a tombstone.

The family cemetery was based next to our house, but the headstones were moved to make way for a soybean and corn field. Apparently they were dumped on an empty lot, which would soon be base for our house to be built. The bodies were left under the field.

We found two headstones.

One “Fannie K”

Married to Archibald Lamb

And one “Mary Lamb” who was about my age.

I got rid of my dolls. All of them.

A couple of years ago I went back to visit my grandfather. I was shocked he still had this:

I couldn’t get back there to get a better picture. But I believe the second headstone is just behind it.

((Sorry for the atrocious facebook name. I was a bit of a weeb back in the day))

Sad News.

Hello everyone, I hope you all are doing well. 

I’m doing pretty good myself, it seems, but something in the back of my mind has been bothering me lately… and after a long time of individual thought, pros and cons being listed, outside advice taken, etc., I have finally come to a decision.

As of July 31, 2016, starting at 12PM EST…

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The Colours Of The Ocean - Jungkook Fluff

Originally posted by jinkooks

My friend chose this title for. S/o to @baekhyundarling my main G who just so happens to be Jungkook biased

Word count - 946

Genre - Fluff

Your mouth were open wide as the two of you looked up at the fishes above you. You and Jungkook stood together in the see through tunnel created in the tank, and there were all sorts of animals roaming around you. Sharks, stingrays, turtles, and every one of them were as fascinating as the other to the both of you.

Jungkook had planned this entire thing. He seemed to just love anything and everything marine, and so you were roped into this obsession. It was okay, though, because spending time with Jungkook was your favourite thing in the world, and learning about his interests made you the happiest person ever.

“Look, jagiya, aren’t they wonderful. I just love the colours.” Jungkook said, finger pressing against the glass as he pointed at a clownfish that had gotten close to the glass.

You moved forward to admire the same fish, “Wow. I think that’s Nemo.”

Chuckling, Jungkook looked down at you, “You know, I think you’re right.”

“Mommy, can we buy a shark?!” A little boy asked his mother rather enthusiastically beside the two of you.

“Can we buy a shark, Y/N?” Jungkook whispered in your ear, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“Yeah, right. Where would we put a shark? In the sink?” You giggled.

“I’d make it work.” He smiled, holding your hand as the two of your walked on through.

“Penguins!” Jungkook yelled as you left the tunnel, tugging you behind him over to their area, “Did you know that penguins can hold their breath for twenty minutes?”

You scoffed, “Is that all? I can hold mine for a good half an hour.”

“Aren’t you funny, Y/N?” Jungkook smiled, turning to you and planting a gentle kiss on your lips.

“You better believe it, Kookie.”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow as he looked over to somewhere behind the two of you. You turned to see what he was looking at.

“Let’s go into there.” Your boyfriend said, walking over.

“Not a photobooth.” You whined, pouting.

Jungkook turned back to you, “Come on. Why shouldn’t we have a picture to remind us of this great date?”

“Um, because I look gross?”

“You look beautiful, Y/N. You always do” He replied, grabbing hold of your hand once again and walking towards the booth.

“I swear you take photographs of me during every single date.” You moaned, pulling the curtain to the booth back and sitting beside him.

“I like to remind myself of how perfect you are. It makes me feel like a very lucky guy.” Jungkook mumbled while tapping at the screen to choose the background of your photo.

As Jungkook said this, a smile began to grow on your face. How was one person so kind? Everything he did, everything he said, it always seemed to be in the interest of making you feel happier. And as your boyfriend sat beside you, counting down the seconds until the camera was going to take the four photos, you couldn’t take your eyes off his beautiful face.

Click. The shutter shut once.

Still, your eyes were fixed on his face as he smiled widely, his hand coming up to form a V sign beside his eye.

Click. The shutter shut twice.

This time he made a pout, his eyebrows scrunching up in that ways you adored.

Before the shutter had a chance to close a third time, Jungkook realised from the previous two photos presented on the screen that you hadn’t took your eyes off him.

He turned to you, his eyes looking deeply into my own.

Click. The shutter shut for a third time.

“I love you so much, Jeon Jungkook.” You breathed out, taken aback at the change in atmosphere in the booth.

Jungkook moved forward, “I love you, too.” He replied, before capturing your lips in his.

It was a kiss completely full of love. You’d never felt so much love towards anyone in your entire life, and you didn’t expect you would ever again.

After the kiss broke, Jungkook pulled you into his chest for a tight hug. Your head was turned to look at the screen, which had writing on it.

‘Thank you for using the photobooth! Please collect your photos from the dispenser outside.’

“I think are photos are ready, Jungkook.” You mumbled.

“I just want to hold you for a while.” He replied softly, his warm breath fanning gently over the skin of your neck.

You hummed with happiness, listening to his heart beat somehow become aligned with your own. Is this what true love felt like? You were pretty sure it was.

After a few minutes of just enjoying each other’s company, you both left, picking up the photographs before leaving the aquarium altogether.

Jungkook began to swing your hands, “I’ve had a perfect day, jagiya.”

You smiled to yourself, looking down at your feet, “Me too. Thank you for planning all of this.”

“You’re welcome. You deserve all the happiness in the world.” He replied, and somehow your smile increased (if that was ever possible). Your heart jolted.

Jungkook walked you all the way back to your house, “And I want you to have this,” He began, lifting up your hands to hold the pictures of the two of you, “so you don’t forget what a great day we’ve had.”

“How could I ever forget.” You smiled, looking up at him.

“I never will. I love you, Y/N. I’ll try to arrange a date again as soon as possible.”

You wrapped your arms around his waist, his arms coming around your shoulders, “You’re the best.”

“Oh, I know.” He chuckled, “Only because I have you.”

nicomilligan said to angelsxreader:Can you do a oneshot or story where the reader has a bad day at her high school so her guardian angels (Lucifer, Gabriel, Castiel, Balthazar and Gadreel) try and cheer her up. I would love a lot of fluff and reader is like a little sister to them. Can you also make her like 13 or fourteen?Angels: Lucifer, Gabriel, Castiel, Balthazar, and GadreelWord Count: 1112Author: KeannaWarnings: Bullying? And like, one swear.Notes: Sorry this took so long! This was fun to write because I’m fourteen and in high school and I also think of the spn angels/spn characters as my big brothers/guardian angels, so I could totally relate to this. Also, praise me for my originality with the teachers’ names.

Your name: submit What is this?

It was nine o'clock and already you knew that this was gonna be a crappy day. Heck, the moment you woke up you knew that this day would suck. It was just … One of those days, you supposed. Class started at 8:30, meaning half an hour had passed, and you’d already forgotten your homework that was due. Your teacher sure loved that, and loved embarrassing you in front of the class for it even more. “Mr. Sheppard was kind of hard on you today,” your friend murmured to you as you walked to your next class, English with Mr. Collins. “I know,” you sighed, adjusting your binder and books. “Whatever, let’s hope the rest of the day is better.”

Keep reading

By your side

For my dear friend @i-swear-this-isnt-satanic, with love in your time of loss.


As much as you tried to focus on your book, your eyes skimmed the same passage over and over, unseeing and uncaring, and the page grew blurry with the welling of your eyes. You lay the book aside in resignation and wiped fresh tears with your sleeve as soft footsteps approached the settee where you reclined, and Kili lay a gentle hand on your shoulder as he passed you a steaming cup of tea.

He settled himself beside you, picking up your legs to drape them over his lap, and you cradled the warm cup in your hands and blew on the tea within.

“Are you all right?” His dark eyes were kind as he watched you take a sip.

You paused to blink back tears before answering. “I miss him so much,” you admitted. “I keep waiting for him to walk through the door.”

Kili nodded, understanding, and rubbed your knee encouragingly. “Your grandfather was a good man…he’ll be sorely missed by all of us.”

“He was the closest thing to a father I had.”

“And he loved you, so much.” A warm smile bloomed on Kili’s face. “I’ll never forget the first time I met him…his face would just light up like a candle when he spoke of you. He was so proud of you.”

Your lips wobbled as you began to cry in earnest, managing to stammer out helplessly, “I don’t know how I can get through this.”

“You will, amrâlimê,” Kili promised, carefully taking the cup from your trembling hands and setting it aside on the tea table, “you are strong, and full of love, and you have so many happy memories to sustain you…he lives on in your heart.” He grew solemn, as he always did when talking of loss, and you were reminded that his own father was only a shadowy figure in his childhood remembrances.

“I was blessed to have so many years in his company,” you agreed with a sniffle, clasping his hand.

His smile was sympathetic, and he reached to sweep away the tracks of your tears with his fingertips. “And you needn’t grieve alone. I will be by your side in this,” he vowed. “Lean on me when you are weak.”

You nodded your thanks, squeezing his hand gratefully, and he gathered you into his lap to hold you close, his palm drifting over your back in soothing circles. He pressed a kiss to your temple before resting his stubbled cheek against your own, and his voice was a soft, comforting murmur that anchored you in his solid, reassuring, protective embrace.

“I will be here, amrâlimê…for as long as you need.”

Lost In Translation - (Chapter 9) Sehun Scenario

Litost (Czech)
A feeling that synthesizes grief, sympathy, remorse and longing.

You lay on your bed staring up at the ceiling, tracing the familiar grooves and indentations with your eyes. Today marked your 4 month anniversary with Sehun. So why were you in your room alone instead of being with your boyfriend on this special day? Because he had forgotten. Well you assumed he had forgotten. This morning you had awoke to no flowers, no calls, nothing. You stuck your hand into your back pocket and pulled out your phone checking for a message. Nope. Nothing. Sure Sehun could be a little forgetful and it’s not like 4 months was a big milestone in a relationship - but you would be lying if you said it didn’t hurt, not even a little.
You decided to get some air and clear your head. Luckily for you your house was close to the centre of town so everything was just a short distance away.

The walk had succeeded in managing to ease your anxiety. The day was nice and the sun shone through the trees heating your back as you walked. As you got closer to the town you saw how busy it was today and you had to dodge the oncoming shoppers, arms cladded with bags from their shopping trips. Successfully manoeuvring your way around a women with a stroller you looked ahead at the café across the street. In all your worrying you had forgotten to eat before leaving the house and now you were starving. The café was a familiar spot for you and Sehun, so you decided to stop by - just because he had forgotten didn’t mean you had to spend the day sitting at home. Just as you were about to cross the street you looked more closely at the table closest to the window. You immediately stopped in your tracks. Sitting at the table was Sehun, smiling and laughing. The source of his laughter? A girl. She sat opposite him, elbows on the table as she leant closer to him, shortening the proximity between them. Her blonde hair cascaded down her back, her teeth shone as she smiled. She was beautiful. Far more beautiful than you would ever be. She placed a hand on Sehun’s forearm, clearly flirting but he did nothing to shake her off. It was as if a missile had been launched at your chest and you watched as the two parted, before Sehun exited the café. You snapped out of your daze and crossed the road, beginning to follow him. You watched as he took a shortcut to his house - one you two had taken many times together. He hadn’t noticed you yet. Quickening your step until you were just behind him you called out to him. He turned around, startled but his face broke into a beautiful smile once he saw you. Butterflies fluttered in the pit of your stomach like they always did when he smiled at you but you beat them down, ignoring the effect he had.
You put on your most sickly sweet voice.
“Why didn’t you introduce me to your friend Sehun?”
His smile dropped as your sarcasm cut through the air. You scowled back at him.
“Do tell Sehun?” You pushed. He began to laugh and rolled his eyes, turning back around again.
“Oh please do not start that shit.” He said beginning to walk away. You stared after him dumbfounded before chasing after him.
“What ‘shit’ are you referring to?” You said angrily. He stopped again and met your gaze.
“That jealous shit. There’s no need for it. She’s a friend. Just because she’s pretty doesn’t mean I’m instantly cheating” He said sighing. So, he thought she was pretty.
“Who said I was jealous?” You snapped.
“Well clearly you are.” He said. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be acting like this?”
“Like what Sehun?” You asked.
“Like a complete bitch.” He shot back. His words were like a slap in the face. It was the first time Sehun had ever called you that. Matter of a fact, it was the first time he had ever raised his voice to you.
“I’m sorry for being concerned when my boyfriend is getting cosy with another girl on our anniversary.” You said, your voice barely audible. But still Sehun heard you, his anger increasing.
“That’s the problem though isn’t it? You immediately think the worst of me. She’s a friend. Am I not allowed friends now? Jesus Christ, you’re fucking suffocating me.” He yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. You recoiled, his words shocking you.
“Well if you feel that way why are you even with me?” You spat.
“I don’t know.” He yelled back. Instantly regret spread across his face like an ink droplet in water. You felt your eyes water but you did not dare to let tears fall. You were better than that.
“Well if that’s how you feel.” You said willing yourself not to cry.
“No it’s not how I feel.” He rushed to you attempting to take your hands in his but you snatched them away. “I just wish you could trust me a little bit more.”
“No really, if you that is how you feel we might as well just leave it.” Your voice broke. You couldn’t believe you two were doing this today of all days.
“Why are you giving up so easily? I’m trying to sort this out.” Sehun’s face contorted in anger.
“Yeah you were really sorting it out back there weren’t you.” Finally the tears came.
“You know what. Forget it. Maybe it’s best if we do leave it.” He began to turn away from you before stopping. “You know, she would never react like this.”
There it was. The final crack in your chest. You felt your heart shatter into tiny irretrievable pieces. You watched him storm off until he was out of sight before you let yourself truly break down.

Days passed and you had heard nothing from Sehun - both of you too stubborn to apologise. Your hurt had been replaced with anger and you fought the urge to call him. You didn’t want someone who would rather spend your anniversary with another girl than you. No that’s not what you wanted at all. You told yourself that if he really wanted you he would apologise for the things he said, but he didn’t.

Two weeks had passed since that day and you grew more upset as each one passed, with each night your pillow being the repository for your tears. Eventually you had to come to terms with the fact that you and Sehun were over. You told yourself that you would never give him another chance. Not even one. He didn’t deserve it.

One more chapter to go!
Thank you for the support and the kind messages I’ve received on this story. It’s so overwhelming to know people from different parts of the world read my silly writings. I love you all!

anonymous asked:

If you are taking Voltron fanfic prompts, how about something with the blind!Shiro AU on the Voltron Headcanons blog? If it's not too much trouble :3

Oh anon, this AU was amazing! I haven’t had much experience writing blind characters, so I hope this is to your liking :)

Also on AO3

Shiro still hadn’t quite gotten used to not being able to see. Hagar’s experiments had left him with no eyesight, a robotic arm, and what felt like a scar etched right across his face. He resented everything that had been done to him… and yet he knew he could never undo them. He, as the leader of the Voltron group, had to make the best of his situation.
Given that the moments when he was piloting the black lion allowed him to see glimpses through the lion’s eyes, he had learned to navigate using his other senses. Touch and hearing were the two that were the most useful. One couldn’t go around licking things to figure out what they were, so those would be what he relied on.
He knew Lance’s hair was cropped short, and that Keith was the opposite with longer hair. He didn’t know the colors, but he supposed those didn’t matter as much. He knew Pidge wore glasses, that Coran had a mustache, and that Hunk was bigger than all of them. But he didn’t really know much else about the appearances of the others. When he was in his lion it was only what the lion could see. And even then it wasn’t the most detailed or clear images.
Shiro found himself sitting at a table in the kitchen, a mug of what would pass for coffee sitting in front of him. He made note that someone walked into the room, but he didn’t acknowledge them until he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Shiro,” It was Pidge’s voice. “We need you on the bridge.”
“Right,” Shiro nodded, standing up. Pidge took his hand and guided him through the hallways that he was still getting used to. Mapping out the maze of corridors this castle had was a daunting task.
Pidge guided him well, taking care to make sure he never collided with anything. Once the doors to the bridge opened, Pidge let go of him.
“Pidge?” Shiro asked warily. “Where are you?”
“Shiro,” Allura said a few feet in front of him. She took his hand and guided him to a seat in the middle of the room. Once he sat down, she brought his hand up to her face. “I have brown skin and all Alteans have pink markings under our eyes,” she said, guiding his hands to feel her face. “I have pointed ears, and long hair.”
“What color,” Shiro breathed, painting his mental image as she told him every new detail.
“Light blue.” Shiro smiled as Allura continued telling him about herself. Then she got up, and someone else took her place.
“Ok, Shiro,” Hunk. “I have this yellow headband in my hair because it’s a little long and it’s black too.”
“Uh huh,” Shiro responded, his hands feeling every dip and curve of Hunk’s face. His was much wider than Allura’s.
“And my shirt is yellow, just like my lion!” He laughed as Shiro’s hand brushed a ticklish spot on his neck. “Cut it out, dude, that tickles!”
Shiro smiled and apologized, moving his hands away.
“My turn!” Coran took hold of his hands and enthusiastically guided his touch as stories about Alteans and his mustache were recounted. Eventually Pidge made him get up so they could help Shiro.
“Shiro, you know how Matt looked?” They said quietly, just holing his hand in their much smaller ones.
“I will never forget,” Shiro whispered, his voice cracking. He could feel tears threatening to spill themselves over.
“Well, I look kinda like him, except a little different?” They began babbling on about hair differences and it was all Shiro could do to keep from bursting into laughter. Pidge was similar in appearance to their brother, but their personalities could not be more diverse.
Lance eagerly took Pidge’s place once they were done. “I have the best hair out of the whole group and I’m also the most handsome, right Allura?” Shiro felt Lance’s face split into a grin. Allura made a noise that didn’t do anything to deter Lance’s smile. Shiro felt the tears at the corners of his eyes, and all at once they spilled over.
“Shiro?” Keith had appeared to his right and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Sorry, just a little overwhelmed.” Shiro covered his face with his hands in an attempt to hide how affected he was by the group’s gesture.
Keith’s hand moved off his shoulder. “When you’re ready, let me know,” he said calmly. Shiro nodded, taking a moment to get himself back together.
“I’m ready.” Shiro said, reaching out in front of him. Keith met him halfway and guided Shiro’s hands to his hair.
“Feel how long my hair has grown, Shiro,” Keith said softly, a little quiver in his voice. “I’ve changed a lot since you last saw me.”
“Psh, he’s still a dork!” Lance said off to the side.
“Lance!” Allura and Shiro chorused, both chiding the boy for the same thing.
“Keith,” Shiro said, bringing his attention back to what his hands were touching. He felt something wet on his face and realized Keith too, was crying. He made no noise, just silent tears flowing down his face. Shiro pulled him into a hug, partially to hide his own tears from everyone else.
Little by little, the rest of the team was joining in on the hug and Shiro felt, for the first time since losing his eyesight, that everything was ok in that moment.