so i may delete it soon

Thoughts on Quiet BPD

When asked about BPD, most people who know about this disorder immediately think of the “classic” symptoms: impulsive behaviors and episodes of rage. The same holds true for even mental health professionals.

But rage and impulsivity are only two out of the nine criteria in determining whether someone has BPD. Some people with BPD—myself included—meet the criteria for a diagnosis but do not use these “acting out behaviors.”

So what does it mean to have quiet BPD?

You probably still suffer from extreme mood swings and emotional reactivity, self-harm and suicidal ideation, chronic feelings of emptiness, paranoid ideation, dissociation, a lack of identity, and the intense fear of abandonment we love so very much (disclaimer: we hate it.).

And it may well be that your relationships are stormy as well—even if the other person has no freaking idea how distressing said friendship is to you.


How is that possible? Well, we feel the same things other people with BPD feel: we idealize you and become deeply emotionally attached to you, then suddenly we become emotionally cold and distant toward you over just a minor disappointment, we’re kept awake at night by paranoia that you secretly hate us because you didn’t text us back immediately, we spiral into crushing depression over the littlest things you say and do.

But the difference lies in how we express it.

With “classic” BPD you may tell the other person what you’re feeling. You may accuse the person of lying to you, avoiding you, abandoning you, etc. You may display anger toward the other person or get into arguments. The other person becomes aware of what you’re thinking and feeling. Not so with quiet BPD.

I almost never tell my friends what’s going through my mind unless they ask. I’m too terrified of being a burden to them. I internalize this tempest of dysphoria, letting it fester for weeks and months. I will drop off your radar, distancing myself from you without you even noticing. Unless you reach out to me, you’ll never hear from me again. I’ll isolate myself, forever convinced you hate me and that you’re better off not dealing with my burdensome self… even if there’s no evidence to suggest this. Even if we’ve literally been best friends for years.

You may not notice this shift at all, simply because I don’t express it. The friendship may not be distressing for you, but it’s sure as hell distressing for me. I’ve cycled through so many friendships in this way, in near constant agony as a result—and the vast majority of my friends had no idea.

I’m obsessed over this idea that I’m a burden. That my very existence is an annoyance to everyone, and so I very frequently deny myself the very emotion so often associated with BPD: anger.

I loathe myself so much I feel I don’t have the right to be angry for myself.

Sure, I can feel anger all right. If you slight a friend or family member of mine, I cannot begin to describe the rage that wells up inside me.

But if you insult me? I’ll sink to depression and probably agree with you (this has happened multiple times).

People with different types of BPD respond differently to the same triggers. For some, if they feel you’re going to abandon them or that you don’t care about them, they respond with anger. Others act impulsively in hopes of relieving some of their pain. But I respond by turning inward. I justify these “signs” that everyone in my life hates me—the same signs recognized by people with “classic” BPD—by deciding that if I’m going to be abandoned, well, it’s because I deserve to be. If you do hate me, it’s because I am, in fact, absolute scum. My BPD takes these signs and twists them into reinforcement of my extreme self-loathing. If anything, I’ll be angry with myself.

This translates into “acting in” behaviors that aren’t as obvious as impulsive behaviors. I self-harm and don’t tell a soul about it, I lock myself in my room and cry for hours, I become so emotionally numb I just stare at the wall all day, I’ll sleep for an entire weekend to escape my pain, I’ll even deny myself food because what’s the point of extending my lifespan, especially if I don’t deserve it?

Any kind of BPD sucks, quiet or otherwise. But raising awareness about quiet BPD is crucial: professionals may not realize we have BPD because we don’t fit the “classic” model, and thus we end up spending years misdiagnosed or in treatment that doesn’t address what’s actually going on with us. We could be spared YEARS of additional suffering by getting the correct treatment as soon as possible. So let’s raise awareness, shall we?

anonymous asked:

Ugh can you stop whining already? The resposters you're demonizing are HELPING YOU by giving you EXPOSURE so you can be popular like all the other popular artists like there (edendaphne, taylordraws, qookyquice, sakura-rose12, ferisea, ceeljes, etcetara). Posts on instagram with their art helped them become popular and the "evil" reposters are only trying to help you to. Just let them repost soon you'll get 1000 followers. So stop being whiny and just let them help your unpopular ungrateful ass!

Hello, anon! Normally, I would ignore rude anons and immediately delete them, but I feel this type of ask is relevant to raising awareness of the problem we have with reposters, art thieves, and the like. So here we go!

It’s true, I may not be as popular as any of the tumblrs you have mentioned (btw, you misspelled a few :c), but that doesn’t mean I’m not entitled to the rights of, I emphasize, MY OWN WORK. Also, I’m not sure where I was whining anywhere, can you give a source? And what am I supposed to be grateful for exactly? ┐(‘~`;)┌

But yeah, even if I had only 3 followers and half a sandwich, a thing I made and posted is still something I explicitly own. It came from me. All I did was share it via tumblr. If I didn’t share it, guess what? I still made it. The only difference when I shared it was so people can see it too. But I still made it. The reposter didn’t, the art thief didn’t—it was me. Henceforth, it is mine to control how it’s shared and used. You are not entitled to up and use my work without permission, no matter how you justify it.

That goes for all the ‘unpopular’ artists out there too. You created a thing out of nothing. It is yours and no one else’s. If anyone tries to put you down to get you to allow them to repost your stuff or give them ‘free commissions’ for so-called “EXPOSURE”, politely decline them (or flip them off, it really depends on you 👀).

You have something they don’t—your skill. Don’t let them take that from you because they made you feel bad that they make 1000+ notes/likes per (re)post they “made” compared to your sketch getting 9 notes and a supporting comment from grandma. At least you have a skill to make a thing, a skill you can only get better at over time, as opposed to a reposter’s skill of Googling and right-click Save/pressing Print Screen. Because any old schmuck can do that. I can do that. My grandpa can do that. My 4-year old nephew can do that.

We all start from nothing, so have pride in what you can do by yourself! Don’t give up and work hard and I guarantee you, people will definitely notice your effort, be it sooner or later. c: (I was gonna cite Van Gogh as an example of ‘later’ but uhh he got popular after he died so that might be a bad example i’ll shut up about that now im sorry)

But I digress! Back to anon. Your claim is because I’m not a popular artist, I can get recognition via reposters, so I should be grateful. To be frank, I think that claim is all sorts of dumb. It doesn’t explain why reposters then STILL repost work by artists who are clearly more popular than their repost account/s. They certainly don’t need any exposure. The math just doesn’t add up, anon. :c

I do apologize if trying to put me down like this didn’t work out. I am confident in my own (albeit not-that-good-yet) ability and I truly believe that if I do work hard enough, I can make it out there. And even if I never do, at the very least I didn’t enable attitudes such as yours to permeate and be justified. I’ve made friends who appreciate what I do, and at the end of the day, it’s more than enough for me. Even if I don’t make it big, I know they’ll be right here supporting me anyway. My question is, who do you have, anon?

I hope sending out this ask helped you dislike yourself a little less. c: Sorry for the long post!

If anyone needs more information about the reposting/art theft problem and the protest, check out @miraculousblackout! They have all sorts of posts and links to help educate you! If anything else is still unclear, just send an ask. We are here to guide you. Just remember, be respectful! Have a good day! ヾ(☆'∀'☆)

iamonlyatiger  asked:

I wanna hear about the confession! It sounds like a cute story!!

ALRIGHT THEN HERE I GO FROM THE VERY BEGINNING BUT IT’LL BE LONG SO I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT

Let‘s go back in time, about 3 years ago, where I joined a new group of friends
I don’t wanna name anyone and since I like distributing an animal to my close friends, let’s call them this

Pinguin <- pretty pale, used to look like he’s never gotten any warmth on his skin ever, the soon to be significant otter (at that time)
Frog <- always jumping around, annoying but tolerable, Pinguin’s best friend
Hamster <- my friend, cinnamon roll but can actually kill you, independent and badass as heck
Panda <- actually a unsocial turd who spent most time eating and doing weird but lovable shit, the victim, me

there were actually two more dudes in the group (Koala & Fisch), but they don’t really contributed much to this weird love story HAHA

Anyway, like I said, I joined this group with Hamster when we changed schools together.
I’ve pretty much only talked to Koala in the beginning, bc we used to go to the same elementary school, and I felt like the other douches weren’t much amused by the “newbies”. With time, Frog started to warm up to me and we were soon good friends. But Fish and Pinguin were always pretty quiet and barely said a thing to me. (Fish was kind of worse he only nodded, but never answered when I asked sth lol).
So a year passed with me hardly knowing anything about Pinguin.
In the next year, we got some classes where we were sitting pretty close together and we gradually came on better terms. But it was all just friendly chit chat and nothing more, except some group projects n’ other school stuff we worked together for.
But there were already rumors amongst the others, saying that we were “so into eachother” n’ shit and I was like YEAH RIGHT I WOULDN’T DATE THAT IMMATURE MIDGET and Pinguin would be like shUT UP (btw he was about 6″ at that time and I was like 5,3″ LMAO)
Even though I was only a year older than him, I definitely felt more mature (although I kept doing shit, like doodling piles and piles of poop with arms and legs everywhere while calling them Mr/Mrs Plop- do not judge me ok)

I honestly don’t know what the FRICK happened then (maybe puberty hit late), but there was a year where we HATED each other and I literally wanted to stab him every day I saw him bc he’s been so pissy and rude towards me. ANd I’m sure he wished nothing more than to throw me off the building sometimes.
And of course, since I am the older one, I made the wise decision to annoy him even more. (looking back at it i still think that I was a dumb thing to do but it was hella funny ok)

Even the others where like YOOOOOO WTF CHILL U 2 and we both just continued fighting day after day lol

After this pretty everyone stopped making comments about our “love”, even after we both calmed down again and acted as if it never even happened HAHA

AND SUDDENLY PINGUIN STARTED TO BEHAVE REALLY DIFFERENT TOWARDS ME. He kept asking me to meet up with him and was rlly persistent about it. The abrupt change was kind of awkward af for me bc all we talked about before, was star wars, school and more star wars. XD So I always kind of avoided it and dodged his questions. I kind of assumed that he wanted me to be like his best friend so I was really confused and insecure lmao.
That went on for quite a time, and I started to grumble about it almost every day.
In April I got the possibility to enter an 1 week exchange programm to france, bc someone else bailed out and I joined. But guess who was also already taking part?
Frog and friggin’ Pinguin.
So of course i started to worry, that it could get awkward between us but in the end went the drive pretty well since another friend asked me to sit by her (faaaar away from Frog and Pinguin lol).
On the 3rd or 4th day my mind was almost bursting so I couldn’t hold back and asked for the favor, if Frog couldn’t ask Pinguin if he actually had something for me when they are alone, bc i was way too scared to do it.
Little did i know that Frog actually CANNOT KEEP A SINGLE SECRET TO HIMSELF. So he RAN to PINGUIN and YELLED REALLY LOUD the question if he has a crush on Panda aka me.

He got startled, looked at me, then back at Frog and said No.

I got really angry, embarrassed, ashamed and sad at the same time.
Maybe because Frog did that, or maybe because of sth else..
We stopped talking much after that, and he started always being with another girl from the other school.
As if that wasn’t the worst, on our drive home, I had to sit next to him bc everyone started switching seats. so ofc I was like -_____________-
I swore to myself not to sleep but after 3h or so I started to nod off. I kind of woke up and found myself leaning my head against Pinguin’s shoulder and his head on top. I was like !!!!! and wanted to get up quick but he put a jacket over us both and he TOOK MY HAND UNDER THE JACKET.
Now I was like ?????????? bOI. So I couldn’t bring myself to say anything nor get away from him. I had to admit, even if I didn’t want to, that I liked his warmth. So we stayed the whole 10h drive like that, basically cuddling.
(I got kind of embarrassed writing this part omg)

After this trip we never mentioned it again and went back to our old antics.
But I have never stopped thinking about it, no it just made me think even more and harder.

Winter, in the following year, Hamster started to get more aggressive, pushing me to ask me about all this stuff that happened. (she knew ofc lol)
I always rejected this bc HOW WAS I EVEN SUPPOSED TO DO IT.
In the end I gave in when she said, she would beat my whiny ass, and finally chose a day where we could meet up and “TALK”.
It was on a November day, and we met up at a bus stop, where he picked me up. (He was at his dad’s place and I was unfamiliar with the village)
He was being very cute, showing me his room, where he spent most of his childhood, and pictures of him. I couldn’t concentrate though. Ofc he asked me then what exactly I wanted to talk about.

I was SO ANXIOUS, I BARELY got any words out until I forced myself to ask, while throwing his pillows around x’D: SO UM- PLEASE ANSWER TRUTHFULLY. DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT HAVE A THING FOR ME?! (yes I legit asked like this lmfao).

He looked at me like this (☉_☉)

And I was like ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

then he answered WELL- and started talking about how he used to be in love with me but it has gotten “less” with the time.
I got kind of disappointed when he said that.
But we discussed about other things openly by then, and cleared everything up.I still asked him if he intended to enter a relationship with me. And he thought a bit and said: Maybe. But now’s not the time.
Sooo no one actually really confessed but I think we both knew that this was the first stone set for our future together. We talked longer than I expected and he also said a lot of cute shit which made me hella shy and blablabla, I was a emotioal mess (*/ω\*)

We started having dates for a while, and after we finished watching a movie at my place, it went:

“Can I ask you sth?”

“Ya sure, what’s up.”
 
“Err if I kissed you now…would you kiss me back?”
(HE LEGIT ASKED LIKE THIS)

Inside I was like ASDGGJLSIJIUDHIUHWUHIFIUFH)O but outside I was, again, like: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ ) umm-

SO HE DID IT AND WE TOTALLY MADE OUT I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE THIS OMFG

/realizes how much I already wrote

oh gosh and w-well we kind of continued doing this for a month after he asked me out officially in december.
Also, he admitted that he was lying about loving me “less” at that time, bc he was anxious. He even said that he has been in love with me for more than 2 YEARS and I went W H A T but anyway, that’s how the Panda ended up with the annoying Pinguin.

And they all lived happily even after.

THE END



(also I realized soon after that he is not immature at all and has his life more together than I do btw /cries).

A Missing Soul and Other Observations

clevercatchphrase submitted: 

(This speculation was too long and complicated to be sent as an ask. I hope you don’t mind this theory being sent in as a submission!)

So! After the release of Monday’s page, we all learned something quite shocking! The Dreemurrs only had five human souls at the time of Frisk’s falling into the Underground. Now, if this story is keeping true to all known facts from the game before Frisk fell (save for Chara and Asriel dying) then that means six humans had to have fallen after Chara and before Frisk. Now that begs several questions; Which one is missing? Where did it go? And most curious to me, Why is one missing?

Now, I have absolutely no idea which soul is missing. For now, we can assume it is not the Patient Soul, since it had been collected by Chara and Gaster and taken for research. Unless the Patient Soul was stolen by someone, but I highly doubt that, as it was the first soul the dreemurrs collected, so it was probably kept guarded under close watch.

For the next two questions of “where did it go” and “why is it missing”, I have one theory. Are you ready? Got your note pad? Okay, listen to this; the soul (as well as the entire human) was “deleted”.

(“How?!” you ask, your pen screeching to a halt on your notepad halfway through a frantic scribble.)

Let me explain. First, three important things we need to keep in mind; 1) Until Frisk fell, only Chara could Save and Load. None of the other humans could do it, 2) Time on the surface keeps passing at its normal rate, no matter what happens in the Underground, and  3) We assume the Barrier is what allows time to flow differently in the Underground (it keeps all Load and Save shenanigans contained, which is why the dates are different on the Surface vs the Underground)

Now let’s set the scene; First, Chara makes a Save at some random point in the Underground. It doesn’t really matter when, the important thing is that they do before a human falls. Second, a human falls into the Underground and is now trapped by the laws of the barrier like everyone else. At that physical point in time the human no longer exists on the surface, because they’re underground. The timeline on the surface keeps progressing as usual. Third, for whatever reason, Chara decides to Load back to their Save point before this other human fell. What happens to this second human? Assuming the magic of the barrier is what keeps the timeline of the underground seperate from the timeline on the surface, Chara rewinding time would, in theory, virtually erase them from existing, because after the human falls, time keeps passing on the surface and they are no longer apart of it. Chara going back to a time where the second human did not yet exist in the Underground would not and could not force the second human back on the surface of Mt. Ebott, because that would mean time on the surface would have to rewind to a point before the second human fell, back to a time where the human was on the surface, but as we pointed out, the timeline on the surface is not effected by the timeline in the Underground. SO! After Chara Loads, the human is “deleted” from all of time and space. Chara may wait around for them to “fall again”, but it’s not going to happen because the human stopped existing on the surface as soon as they fell into Mt. Ebott the first time (Only time, technically). Time moved on without them, indifferent to Chara’s Saving and Loading and the humans who fall.

(WOW! Sorry that got really wordy. I hope I explained my thoughts clear enough!)

hi guys i am doing an important thing

so some of you may have noticed (or maybe not bc tbh i have no clue if anyone ever reads anything i write anymore lol) that i haven’t been around as much recently.  that is mostly due to me running out of storage on my phone and having to delete the tumblr app…..but i am trying to still be somewhat present!! just not as convenient to post pictures…maybe i’ll redownload soon.  anyways, that isn’t the point of this post.

over the last few years, i have seriously struggled with running and natural life progression.  my body has transformed into a woman’s body, and my running has suffered accordingly, though i’m not sure why.  i couldn’t really understand what was happening – my diet was “healthy-ish,” i looked fine, but the fire in me was out.  i wasn’t running fast, i didn’t do everything with intention the way i used to.  i wasn’t ALL-IN on running or health or anything at all.  and i don’t think i can ever really be all-in the way i once was ever again; i have friendships to maintain, a job to work at, people to love, life to live.  but, i can certainly be more in than i have been. 

i took a good look at myself this summer. why was i running if i wasn’t good anymore?  why was i unhappy with my body if i looked good by societal standards?  why was i down on myself and lacking confidence if i have a great support system and excel at things i set my mind to?  let’s take these one by one.

running has been meh.  i graduated and am retired from the NCAA.  i never have to worry about where i stand on the varsity cross country team, whether i’ll set a personal best in the 3000m steeplechase, or the 6k, or the 1500m.  but running makes me feel more human than i feel without it, all vulnerable and weak and strong and terrible and euphoric all at the same time.  so i still go out and run, whether its seven miles at a good clip or thirty slow minutes just to feel the feelings.  i ran a 10miler this past weekend – it was hot, i hardly ran 30mpw in preparation for it, did not do a SINGLE workout, went out in 33 minutes through the 5mile, and promptly died for the second half. walked through a couple water stations, struggling to stay sub7 for the remainder of the race.  at mile 7, i distinctly remember thinking “damn, so this is what happens when you run a race you haven’t trained for.”  but i finished, in 70 minutes, and immediately was thinking about what i want to run next.

eating has been HORRIFIC.  manhattan is the world of takeout, the world of eat-what-you-can-when-you-can.  i don’t prepare a solid half of my own meals, which is horrifying. i was eating real food for the first half of the day, but then approximately half of my calories were coming from things that weren’t really “food” at all – multiple bowls of oatmeal/cereal, bread with peanut butter or jam, clif bars, nature valley bars, lenny and larry’s cookies, actual cookies, SO MUCH FOOD PRODUCT and hardly any food.  i am visibly softer than i was even a couple years ago, let alone three years ago when i was truly in the shape of my life.  my protein bar habits were formed when i had an eating disorder and wanted to enjoy the feeling of eating chocolate while also eating a “meal” and therefore not having to do both…but that led to me recovering from the eating disorder and still eating multiple protein bars before bed.  i’ve been feeling out of control.  as someone who developed anxiety, depression, and disordered eating DUE TO a lack of control, this is very scary to me.  

so, i’m going back to basics.  i am embarking upon an endurance-athlete-version of whole30.  it’s appealing to me because it’s completely unlimited in quantity – i can ALWAYS eat to my satisfaction. but now, i am eating real foods and finally cutting these habits out of my life that i have been TERRIFIED to cut out.  i can pretty confidently say that eating a chocolate chip clif bar every single night before bed for the last four and a half years qualifies as obsessive-compulsive habit.  tonight will be my first night not eating that clif bar.  this morning was my first morning in over five years in which i didn’t eat my oatmeal with peanut butter and cinnamon.  this is about my health, sure, but it is about so much more than that.  this is a healthy, good thing that also happens to force me to break habits not because they’re bad habits, but because i need to know that i have the power to break them.  

whole30 is not easy – it’s really really hard and i already know i’ll break it in at least one way, because i am young and human.  i won’t sacrifice an occasional night out with a moderate amount of wine or my trusty vodka soda.  but that’s really the only thing i’m planning on being lax on.  i’ll make modifications as i need to for my running, but as of right now i want to see if i can survive without grains aka OATMEAL (gasp!) and peanut butter (GASP!!!) and added sugar (GASP!!!!!!).  oh yeah, and also running – i’m going to train.  it’s happening.  i want to let this do its thing, and then i’m going to get my shit together.  this lack of confidence and general depression i have been feeling is not “because of running” or “because of food,” it is because i want things and have somehow allowed myself to believe that i do not have the power to have them.  well, that’s bullshit.  i am still convinced i haven’t seen my fastest days, my healthiest days, my happiest days.

Hello everyone, what’s the next best thing after tumblr you may ask? Well it’s INSTAGRAM of course! Isi (@overthinked) and I (@rehticent) are huge instagram fans that we’ve decided to host an IG themed awards! So without further ado. 

Rules: 

  1. mbf @overthinked​ & @rehticent​ 
  2. you must reblog this post
  3. do not delete the caption/self promote 

Awards: 

  • Best URL (sierra)
  • Best icon (juno)
  • Best posts (inkwell)
  • Best theme (aden)
  • Best overall (valencia)
  • Nicest blogger (crema)
  • @overthinked‘s fave (perpetua)
  • @rehticent​‘s fave (ludwig)

Higher chances: 

We will pick when we are happy with the notes! Have fun reblogging, and keep smiling. Banner made by @overthinked (image credit goes to her as well) 

~ Haniah & Isi :) 

2

There we go…

243 FOLLOWERS ART RAFFLE!!!!(I got mistakes at the first pic I post,I accidentally put 234 followers,but really is 243 😓)

This is the third art raffle!!!
I think this time is special,cause there got ‘Bonus!’,and I have to say…

The second art raffle prizes of mine will be delete/remove/cancer,I can’t use computer much so please understood…

Gotta say GOOD LUCK YA ALL!!!
If there something that you don’t understand PLEASE “ASK” ME!!!!
Cause I was busy and I can’t even think….

Deadline : May 16

Latest Deadline : May 17 or May 18 0w0

Winners will have 20,plus with bonus will be 22 QWQ I will be dead soon if the winner bonus choose the first prize…

Good luck again!!!
(Tell me if I miss anything…)

Pre-orders for charms and holo prints closing soon~

  • Pre-orders close tonight, May 30th at 11:59 pm EST
  • The last of my supplies will be arriving next week ((i hope!! plz))
  • I’ll start posting update pictures once I start assembling everything
  • NOTE: If you have already made a pre-order purchase and would like to add more items to your order, please message me on tictail (or on tumblr with the name you ordered with) so I can give you a code for free shipping so you won’t have to pay shipping again!
    • (someone sent me an ask about this and i accidentally deleted it instead of replying so just message me again aaaaa sorry!)

Ordering after the pre-order period

  • I’ll be ordering a few extra of everything just in case anyone wants to purchase after the pre-order period, but supplies will be limited
  • Charm orders after the pre-order period will not include stickers (unless I have extra)

Lastly, thank you to the people who have placed orders! Your support means a lot to me and I’ll be including a small gifts for all the pre-orders <3 thank u!!!

[My store]

Thoughts I want to get off my chest...

Sometimes when I lay in bed after a long day… I can’t help but think about you. I know you’re out there in the world somewhere! Is it day where you are? Or are you close to me… Have I ever seen you before? Will Allaah send you to me from miles away… From an unknown land… I wonder what you are doing at that very moment… Are you happy? What are you working on… Are you busy with work, are you busy with studies… Are you going through any type of hardship…
I don’t even know who you are yet, but I think about you when I wake and when I eat… When I study and when I get ready sleep… When I pray… When I struggle… When I laugh… I don’t know man… I wonder if we have ever prayed in the masjid before at the very same time… Looked at the moon at the same time… I wonder who you are and where you are… I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you… I really miss you.. I really do..
May Allaah subhaanahu wa ta'aala bless you and protect you wherever you are…
May Allaah subhaanahu wa ta'aala make your day easy… May He make you happy today… May He send that random stranger with a big smile to light up your morning… May He slow down the minutes to help you get to wherever you need on time… May He guide your mother to cook your favourite food… May He cover your heart in that deep feeling of connection towards Him and give you peace and khushu’ in your prayers…
I miss you, man… I really miss you. At times I feel ready and at times, not so much. I trust that He knows best & His plan is perfect…. Just find Allaah, find yourself and come find me…
I will be waiting… I will be waiting - I will be praying - for you.

anonymous asked:

wait what's going on

A lot of drama had started up between the former mod Rae.

She had been incredibly manipulative and, if i may add, was unwilling to let her followers know that sending death threats and racist anons were bad. 

When i took the original CSO url and replaced it she only ended up giving a half assed apology and then soon deleted her blog. 

so now we’re down a mod and now we’re under new management. 

this blogs url is going to change for good though, to give us a new start!

anonymous asked:

Noooo please don't delete your blog! 😢 Your art style is so beautiful and the way you roleplay Cora-san is amazing. I love this blog! It's sad to hear that you have to deal with those bad things but I believe there are lots of people who are supporting you and who love to see your art. I just hope that it get's better... 😙

AHHH this means a lot,,I’m not going to delete this blog anytime soon thankfully! I just really REALLY needed a break……And I may stay on my hiatus like I am currently, but I still like to use this blog!! You’re all so sweet and I love drawing Cora and making people happy!))

((Important OOC Note!

As you all probably know, The Trials of Apollo: The Dark Prophecy (and Camp Half-blood Confidential) were released today. Mun has finished The Dark Prophecy, and so it is safe to send spoilers here.

However: No spoilers or anything about the new TOA book will be referenced until after the Quest Event is over. The event itself should end by the end of the month, giving a bit of wiggle room for people to catch up on the series.

Also: This blog does not necessarily follow canon, mostly as i am not telepathically linked to Rick Riordan and so cannot know what he will put into the series next. The events of The Dark Prophecy may or may not apply to the blog, but this is to be determined.

More updates will follow after the Quest Event is over.))

Hey guys heads up I don’t know if I can do any pics for the next few days

My dad’s moving back into the house with his girlfriend and her two kids; so things are gonna be a bit hectic in the bun mun life

As such I don’t really think I can sit down and work properly on responses.

I’m not saying 100% but if I don’t get something up, I just wanted to let you know why I may go a little inactive. Should be back fully soon!

Also! It’s been decided Serperior Mimikyu WILL be staying on the blog!! I’ll be doing a proper introduction for him when I get a chance, but if you’d like to know; His name is BLOOKY!!


Have a Chill day yo!


-Bun and Ex

anonymous asked:

On School Rapper and soon to be on Show Me the Money 6 there was a contestant who's insta is elleonoel and I believe he may be someone to look out for. 👀 He got grills and look at his recent instagram posts. He posted two black people in a row (one of Travis Scott & he may delete the second one) he is also a hip hop artist and his music on soundcloud so far is lit! 🔥 Definitely someone you should check out and look out for for some reciepts in the future and should support on smtm6 😍

Sounds like Kris Wu 😆

I think I’m gonna delete my tumblr sometime in the next couple weeks

There is nothing for me to do anymore…its so silent here…and I feel awkward…so…soon I’ll be gone..I may come back…but I’m not sure…

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts about the rumors of Cas dying at the end of s12?

Heck.

Um… I sort of waffled (heh, waffles… because they’re the g-rated El Sol reference in Supernatural, aka deception and false reality) about it in this post last night:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/159647486885/five-times

We’ve seen five increasingly “chaotic” and traumatic major fight scenes for Cas this season so far, sort of vaguely referring to his return to Heaven at the end of 12.15 as the beginning of the scene that we’ve seen tiny snippets of in the promos for 12.19. And while we have LITERALLY NO IDEA WHAT WILL ACTUALLY HAPPEN UNTIL WE SEE IT, I think even at that point, after we see the conclusion about 12.19, we’re going to be left with a great whopping helping of WTF.

I think we’re gonna be left with a Schrodinger’s Cas sort of situation. Is he dead? Is he alive?

and if he’s alive, is he okay?

I fully expect the episode to crush us brutally.

BUT I EXPECT IT WILL BE FOR A VERY GOOD REASON.

Because as much as Dean’s concerned for Cas right now, HOLY HELL this is gonna bring Dean right up to the freaking brink. We’ve seen him taking a very zen wait-and-see approach to a lot of things so far in s12, but thinking he’s lost Cas I believe is the thing that will bring him to the point where he can’t just watch and wait anymore.

Especially given the 12.22 script leak, of Dean confronting Mary with the whole truth.

(and also the HEAVY SPECULATION that Cas will be back for at least a brief scene in that episode, as well as in the finale)

So no, Cas will not be “dead-dead,” but it’s possible it may APPEAR that way.

So yes, prepare yourself for that, but take solace in the fact that the twist is yet to come…

I already have my finger hovering over the delete button for the overwhelming levels of distraught wailing and inevitable wank I fully expect to be streaming into my inbox as soon as 12.19 is over.

It’s like I’m psychic or something. Or maybe just intuitive. Because that bs happens every. damn. year.

So hey, I figure everyone needs to be warned to gird themselves from giving in to their crankypants. Because you don’t judge the entire story when you haven’t even read the last four chapters yet. That’s just dumb, ffs.

News.

So as you all know yesterday I posted that I was going to be doing something crazy well here we are. 

I AM FULLY SWITCHING ACCOUNTS. 

After months of thinking this through I realised I just wasn’t happy with how cluttered this main blog has become. Some of you follow me for reblogs and others follow me for my fics and overall, i just feel like this blog has been very cluttered and unorganized.

Which is why I have made two separate blogs and will be moving everything there. 

I will be editing and re-upload all my fics little by little on the new fic blog, this will also give me some time to play catchup with the series I have that I haven’t been able to write due to me moving. 

So below I will list the transfers. 

Relog/Main Social Blog: 

Fanfic Blog:

Album Blog:

Fic Recs Blog:

  • Was: @rainasfanficrecs
  • Now: ~Coming soon~ (may just keep it and move it to my new account)

If you have any question feel free to ask me. I understand this is really inconvenient which is why I was so hesitant on doing it and why I thought people may hate me for doing so.

But I feel much happier with it being completely separate and such. 

So yeah, don’t feel pressured to follow if you don’t wish to. I understand. 

Love you all <3

- Raina <3

p.s. I will eventually delete this blog, but it won’t be for a month or so. 

I find myself in a bizarre and frustrating predicament. When I created this blog in February 2012, I used an email account that was dedicated to the sole purpose of being linked to my Tumblr account. It’s never been a problem, but when I tried to check Tumblr on a desktop browser yesterday (where I was already signed in) I was prompted that it was time to update my password. This process led me to discover that dedicated email account had been irretrievably shut down due to inactivity. Tumblr’s (understandable) security policy towards this type of situation is to recommend the person let it go and start a new blog. They feel they can’t verify a person’s identity.

I get that. However, I have offered plenty of means of verification—including now the above photo of my very Google-able self, taken today, wearing the same hoodie and roller skating unicorn t-shirt I am wearing in the photo from a few months ago that appeared on the Nickelodeon post I just previously reblogged, in my very specific office (decorated with photos that I took and posted on my Tumblr photography blog), which can be seen in such posts as on February 1st, 2016, back before my email account was deleted.

How am I posting this if I am locked out, you might ask? Luckily I am still logged in to my mobile Tumblr app. However, as soon as I am inevitably and inadvertently forced to update or replace my phone, I’ll lose this tenuous and solitary connection to this blog. Tumblr Support has stopped responding to my emails, so I figured I should post something publicly while I can in the hopes that they may see this and help me out, and to say a preemptive goodbye to all of you in case my pathetic pleas and attempts fail to verify that I am in fact ME—who I’ve always been and will always be until I’m locked out of my corporeal form and deleted, like this account might be.

I’ve never disclosed how many “followers” I have on here before, but it would be a real shame to lose this connection to all 186,187 of you lovely people who took the time and interest to check out what I might have to say or show or support. If there really is nothing that can be done to rectify this shut out, then I’ll hang on and use this account as long as I can. If I vanish one day, know that I appreciated all your support and enthusiasm on here. And know that it also means I probably now own a phone that is too big for my pants pocket.

But hopefully this can be easily resolved and this will just be a weird, frustrating, little bump in my blogging road.

Love, Bryan