so i had to do it again cry

i am confident i am over you. so much that some mornings i wake up with a smile on my face and my hands pressed together thanking the universe for pulling you out of me. thank god i cry. thank god you left. i would not be the empire i am today if you had stayed. 


but then. 


there are some nights i imagine what i might do if you showed up. how if you walked into the room this very second every awful thing you’ve ever done would be tossed out the closest window and all the love would rise up again. it would pour through my eyes as if it never really left in the first place. as if it’s been practicing how to stay silent so long only so it could be this loud on your arrival. can someone explain that. how even when the love leaves. it doesn’t leave. how even when i am so past you. i am so helplessly brought back to you.

—  one of my favoruite poems from Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur
3

“There is one thing.”
“One last threat.”

What if you only played through once? What if you stopped at the True Pacifist ending and never played again?

You wouldn’t have to kill your mom.
You wouldn’t have to fight against a true hero.
You wouldn’t have to kill your best friend.
You wouldn’t have to feel your sins crawling on your back.
You wouldn’t have to become a dirty brother killer.

You would never see them again.

This is the happiest ending, isn’t it?  For everyone. 

It’s time to say Goodbye for the first time -

and the last time.

It’s constant. I was in love with him and I knew that, but after awhile it became a typical feeling and I forgot why I loved him so much. Then, as we were lying there together, alone in the woods, staring at the trees above us, I saw him at his worst. Then I remembered. I remembered why I loved him so deeply. It was such a strong realization I had thought I had fallen in love with him all over again. You see, I don’t like when he’s at his worst, that would be terrible for me to say. I do like to see his wall come down and let him tell me how much he cares about me. He’s a guy. He normally won’t tell me he cares. But when he’s hating himself and on the verge of crying, he tells me to leave him. He tells me that if I stay he’ll hurt me and he doesn’t want to hurt me. He cares so deeply that he’s scared of the possibility that I’ll get hurt. So I told him half of what I wanted to say. I told him that even if he hurts me, he’s still the same guy I fell in love with. I left out the part about how he already has hurt me by not loving me back.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #1194 // MM

Me: Please let Lito’s mom be a good person. He obviously loves her so much. If she rejects him it will kill him and me. I will cry and sob if she treats him like the media is treating him. Please please please do not make me cry over Lito’s pain again.

Lito’s Mom: *Is understanding. Hugs him. Tells him she is proud of him. Cut off all the people who used to call themselves her friends once they started badmouthing Lito. Makes Lito and Hernando laugh*

Me: *sobbing* YOU STILL HAD TO MAKE ME FUCKING CRY DIDN’T YOU!!!

Karaii here! My account got terminated ):

Hey guys, this is Karaii.

I’m the artist that drew a bunch of Gravity Falls and Ajin fan comics. Maybe you recognize some of the art.

My account got terminated because someone reported some art I drew for one of my sideblogs.

Tbh, whoever did that? You’re kind of a dick, friend. I wish you’d come talked to me first, or blocked my content if it wasn’t your jam, but whatever. I forgive you. I kind of had a cry about it, because it didn’t just affect me – they erased all of the blogs I was mod for, too (I’m so sorry to my friends that got affected) – but I’m an adult and I take responsibility for my content and thus, if that’s what tumblr decided was Too Much then it’s too much. Okay. I won’t do it again.

I sent an email asking if they can at least restore my main blog (@karaii) but I know realistically nothing will come of it. It’s the new year so I guess it’s time to start reeeally fresh.

I’m kind of heavily demoralized by the whole thing, so like, I might not be super active for a while. I’m half-tempted to post my old art since I’m fond of it, but like, ghosts of its reblogs should be floating about so I might just reblog them back to this one and tag as my art. We’ll see.

In any case, it is what it is. I’m not happy about it, but I’m not the kind of person to dwell needlessly on tragedy.

Let’s keep our chins up and strive to make 2017 a good, successful year :)

Thanks for listening.

Cheers,
Karaii

:: twenty one pilots x donnie darko :: i also posted this on my twitter/instagram @nyctolust so please tag tyler and josh in it, they’re incredibly important to me and this took a long time to do so it would mean the world if they saw it, thanks friends  |-/

*starts third playthrough of FC4 inside the same week* .. oh yeah i should draw something
worked with a color palette this time for fun 

BTS Reaction To Their GF Not Eating And Passing Out

(( I do not own any gifs unless otherwise indicated ))

Requested by anon


Jin: *Sit’s her down and makes her eat food* Jagi I don’t care if you aren’t hungry I will not have you pass out again!

Yoongi: How do I say this Jagi? You are so beautiful and amazing and please don’t starve yourself… *Understands the struggle*

Hoseok: *He honestly thought she had died and couldn’t handle the thought that she was so unhappy* Don’t let her be dead please doctor do something!

Namjoon: Jagi… You either don’t eat to lose weight or you eat and we can “Exercise” to lose weight *Sexy monster tries to persuade her*

Jimin: *Knows the struggle all to well and a couple days after she passes out she finds him crying because he didn’t want her to feel the same struggle*

Taehyung: Jagi did you eat today? *Asks every two hours and makes her send photo’s to make she’s eating*

Jungkook: Jagi you are so perfect… please never think otherwise *Cuddles her and point out all his favorite parts of her body*

things i love about sam winchester
  • his hair 
  • long long legs 
  • what color are his eyes??? i don’t know 
  • adorable smile
  • HUGE nerd 
  • went to college
  • loves his big brother more than anyone else in the world 
  • rlly awkward 
  • loves dogs too much
  • not afraid to cry 
  • pretends to be annoyed @ dean’s jokes but is secretly amused 
  • is a big sweetheart but can also be scary af
  • puppy dog eyes
  • gives the best hugs
  • master of the bitch face
  • his entire body (i’m sorry)
  • so selfless?? almost too much
  • dimples 
  • willingly sacrificed himself to save the world 
  • would do it again if he had to 
  • is still kind and compassionate despite everything he’s been through 

[things i love about dean]

HOLD YOUR TITS FOR JUST A SECOND

Okay so everyone’s kinda freaking out? (I’m still crying over pitchits hamster parade but) But about Victor going back competitively ( Kubo basically said ‘pay attention to his decision!!!’) And Yuuri trying one more time for gold but GUYS. They aren’t going to compete against eachother. They’re going to do pair Ice Dancing!! That’s why Victor hugged Yurio and basically gave him full support forever ( Because neither Yuri or him will compete against him again) why they had them pair dancing at the end, and why it said ‘NEXT LEVEL’ (because ice dancing is considerably fucking harder than singles figure skating. There’s lifts and synchronization along with the rest of the shit). So they will BOTH go back to competing, TOGETHER. (And adopt Yurio and cheer for him at next year’s GPF) ( Also they hinted at the very beginning of the series that Mila is also training for ice dancing!!)

anonymous asked:

Hannigram/MurderHusbands for "You smell really nice" (hehe Hannibal at it again :p

My dash has been crying out for bottom!Hannibal all week and I couldn’t resist. Have some porn with feelings!


Will was on his back, nails digging into his palms as Hannibal pinned his wrists to the bed and rode him to a slow and filthy end.

The first time Will had dragged him into bed, Hannibal had been so caught off-guard he’d hardly known what to do with himself. Now he was shameless. He grinded down onto Will’s cock, taking his pleasure as though Will were a toy and not a human being aching for release. Showing off his position of control.

Will was so close he could feel in his stomach, in the back of his throat. His pulse pounded in his ears.

“Enough,” he growled and, with a sharp twist of his hips, flipped Hannibal onto his back.

They struggled for a moment, arms and legs in all the wrong places until Will got to his knees. It was better this way. It always was. There was a special thrill that came with fucking Hannibal into the mattress; leaving him boneless and writhing beneath Will.

He drew his hips back, almost pulling out of Hannibal entirely, and then drove himself back in. The sound of skin on skin echoed in the room.

Hannibal reached for his cock. Will slapped his hand away.

“No,” Will panted. “You were so intent on showing off before, so you can show off now. Show me how you’re so desperate for me you don’t even need a hand on you to get off.”

Hannibal sucked in his breath between his teeth. He gripped Will’s forearms so tightly it ached.

It was impossible to tell who reached their end first. Will felt Hannibal’s release hot and wet on his stomach as he spilled into him. He fell forward, forehead coming to rest on Hannibal’s shoulder while he caught his breath.

Cleanup was quick and perfunctory. Hannibal never let him go far afterwards. No matter how rough and quick things started, they always ended tangled up in each other’s arms.

Hannibal tugged Will down into his arms and nuzzled at his throat. For a long moment they stayed that way, silent except for the pounding of their hearts. Hannibal sighed, soft and content.

“You smell good,” he murmured into the top of Will’s head.

Will huffed out a laugh. “I smell like you.”

“Scent is a vital part of the process of determining attraction and compatibility,” Hannibal said. “Humans unconsciously use scent to select a genetically compatible mate.”

Hannibal drew lazy patterns on Will’s back. Will’s eyes threatened to close at his touch.

Through the haze of his mind, he recalled a dimly lit office and Hannibal’s soft footsteps against hardwood floors. Hannibal had smelled him, like a sommelier before they took a sip of wine.

“Not sure what you were thinking when you picked me. When we met I smelled like night-sweats and dogs and the morgue.”

“Yes,” Hannibal said. His nose was buried in Will’s hair. Will absently wondered if he was going to start sniffing at him like a dog.

“But underlying all of that was a certain sweetness I couldn’t help but be drawn to.”

“Love at first sniff.”

“Something like that,” Hannibal said. Will could hear the smile in his voice.

Hannibal brushed the tip of his nose over Will’s jaw. With it he traced the hollow beneath his ear, the line of his throat. He inhaled deeply and pressed a kiss to Will’s shoulder, and Will clung to him tighter in response.

“Though I must admit,” he murmured, lips brushing Will’s skin with every word and sending goosebumps down his arms. “I much prefer you as you are now.”

Will smiled.

“I think I do too.”


Prompts closed for now, thanks!

anonymous asked:

33 lams??? i'd cry

33. I CANNOT HELP BUT NOTICE WE ARE SITTING-IN-A-TREE.  SO, YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE COULD THINK OF SOMETHING TO DO… VERB-WISE. (I WANT US TO GERUND, ESSENTIALLY.)

It’s a really fucking nice day, the sun pleasantly warm on his skin, the sweet smell of the flowers all around him. He originally wasn’t planning on going out, but John had pouted and pestered him until he’d given in to the pull of those big pretty eyes and traipsed out to the park with him.

Alexander looks over, gazing at John as he leans back against the branches. His skin is sun dappled, golden and shining in strips as the suns rays find their way through the leaves of the tree to light up his skin. 

“Tell me something,” John requests, eyes closed. Alexander blinks at him. There’s a small satisfied smile sitting on his lips. Alexander wants to press his lips against it, to see if it’s transferrable, like a temporary tattoo.

“Like what?” he asks, feeling a little breathless. John hums, not bothering to open his eyes. “Anything, you always know the weirdest stuff.”

Alexander swallows, looks away for a second. When he looks back John’s got his eyes open, half lidded lazily, fixed on him. He resists the urge to rub the back of his neck.

“Okay, uh,” he starts eloquently. “When you use a verb ending in -ing as a noun it’s called a gerund.” Why the fuck he says that, he doesn’t know. It was the first thing that popped into his head.

John shifts, sitting up more fully. “None of that made any sense, give me an example.”

Alexander squints, tilts his head like it’s going to knock out more thoughts. “Thinking can be painful,” he offers, and John snorts. “Tell me something I don’t know,” he grins, and Alexander grins back, and then shakes his head. “No, that was my example. The verb ‘thinking’ is operating as the noun in the sentence, hence: gerund.”

John pulls a face at him. “It’s really weird that you know that.” Alexander sticks his tongue out at him and John sticks his out right back.

“How about,” he muses after a few minutes of silence, making Alexander blink his eyes open and turn towards him. “Kissing is always fun. Is that a gerund?”

“Yes,” Alexander says slowly, narrowing his eyes at him.

John hums. “How about: kissing a friend is always fun,” he says.

Alexander’s heart speeds up. He swallows. “No, because the friend is the noun in that sentence.”

“Huh,” John says. “Interesting.”

They slip back into silence. Alexander fists his hands in his jeans, knuckles turning white with how hard he’s gripping the fabric. John seems utterly careless, sat up now, balancing on the branch, swinging his legs in the air below him. Alexander doesn’t allow himself to gaze at him for too long, for fear he’ll get distracted and accidentally fall out of the tree.

“Doesn’t mean it’s not true though,” John says suddenly, and Alexander peers at him in confusion.

“What doesn’t mean what isn’t true?”

“Kissing a friend. Just ‘cause it’s not a gerund doesn’t mean it’s not fun. I was right, not about the gerund thing, but about the fun thing.”

“How do you know? How many friends have you kissed?” Alexander blurts, unable to stop himself.

John looks over at him, eyes oddly dark. “That’s a good point,” he says slowly. He shuffles closer. Alexander watches the space between them disappear, barely breathing.

“Wanna find out if I’m right?”

“Um,” Alexander stutters in a strangled voice. John lifts his hand, pushing a strand of Alexander’s hair behind his ear, and then resting it casually on the bark of the trunk beside his head, casually bringing them even closer, faces together. Alexander takes in a shaky breath, eyes dropping involuntarily to John’s lips.

“I know you like to always be right,” he whispers, and John hums in agreement. “You know me so well,” he whispers back, and Alexander can’t take it anymore. 

He leans forward before he can talk himself out of it. John’s lips are smiling when they meet his.

Amen.

Originally posted by thedeductionmistress

Pairing : Chuck, Reader
Word count : 379
Author : Mel
A/N : Just practicing being able to write based on prompts/requests so I can be more useful around here XD.

Prompt : @writing-prompt-s - As a child you forgot to say “Amen” at the end of a prayer. God has been listening to everything you’ve said and thought since then. After long enough, he decides to give up his usual mysterious methods to help you out directly so you’ll finally stop talking to him.



“We should probably talk.”

You froze, looking at the man who had just appeared in front of you in the dark alley. He hadn’t been there a second ago, had he? You had been crying, so maybe you just hadn’t noticed. “I’ll pass, thanks.” You mumbled and started to walk past him.

“Y/N, Please.”

Freezing again, you turned. “How do you know my name? Who are you?”

He gave you a soft smile that instantly disarmed you. “I’m uh, I’m God.” He shrugged. “People just call me Chuck.”

You scoffed. “You’re God? Go back to the bar, buddy. Stop following me.”

Suddenly you were in a bar and he smiled at you. “Drink?”

“What the fuck is going on?”

“Do you remember, when you were about.. Oh 5ish, and you prayed for the school bully to leave you alone and for your mom to stop being sick?” Your eyes went wide. “Your dad interrupted you because your mom fell, you never got to finish your prayer. It was also the last time you prayed to me.”

“Because mom died.. How did yo-”

“You never said Amen.” He smiled and passed you a drink. Oddly enough, it was your favorite. “I’ve been hearing you ever since.” Your eyes went wide. “Oh yeah, every saucy little thing.” He chuckled making you blush.

“Oh God..”

“Oh, I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard you say that.” He grinned.

Oh my god!” You downed the drink and motioned for another. He laughed and made another for you. “Here to tell me I’m a sinner and not getting into heaven?” You winced.

“There’s a place for everyone in heaven.” He smiled. “Especially you.”

“Then.. why are you here?”

“To better help. I answer this life long prayer, I stop hearing every little dirty detail in my head. It can be very distracting you know.”

“Sorry.” You blushed, biting your lip. Though to be honest, a part of you was excited and aroused that God, or Chuck, was so attractive and had been listening in all these years.

“I heard that too.” He smiled, blushing a bit himself. “You’re not so bad looking yourself.” Your face turned a deep red as you downed your drink and motioned for another making him laugh again.



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2

In my first Rob photo op we were standing too far to the left so I got another one.
I was one of Rob’s last ops and when I walked up to him I honestly just froze. He immediately held my hands and I just said “I’m so sorry, but I just had to tell you how much you’ve helped me.” And before I could even get the sentence out I just started crying. He gave me a hug and he said “It’s okay, it’s okay, thank you so much.” And he hugged me again and again. I don’t think they minded too much only because we were the last ones. We posed for the picture and it took Chris a minute to take it so Rob and I just started laughing. I couldn’t help but apologize again and again. I said “Thank you so much for everything you do, I’m so sorry.” And he hugged me and thanked me (???) and before turning to walk away Chris said “Wait, were going to take another.” And Rob pulled me close, we took the picture and he gave me another tight hug.
I cried for the next twenty minutes nonstop.

“Just stop Will.” Nursey said, holding up his hands as he spoke. “We should stop this argument before one of us says something we don’t mean.”

“Oh yeah, Mr. Reasonable.” Dex spat “Go ahead and run away from this argument then. Like you do everything else.”

“Will-”

“Just go Derek!”. Dex yelled.

“I’m going,” Nursey said, as he left the attic, “And I’m going to sleep on the couch tonight.”

“Whatever.” Dex snapped, turning away from Nursey so he wouldn’t see the tears in his eyes.

The second he closed the door behind him Nursey let himself cry. He and Dex had never fought like this before, even when they were freshmen.

Nursey was scared he’d lose him.

*

Nursey turned over on the couch again. He couldn’t get comfortable, no matter what he did. He and Dex hadn’t slept apart since they’d started dating, nearly 3 years ago, and he couldn’t sleep without him.

Nursey checked the time on his phone again. The screen read 3:47 am. Nursey groaned. He had to get up for morning skate in 3 hours.

Nursey was considering giving up on sleeping, and doing something else, when he heard footsteps on the stairs.

“Derek?” Dex whispered. “You awake?”

“Will?” Nursey whispered, as he sat up. “Everything okay?”

“I…uh…” Dex muttered, pulling at his sleeves nervously. “I can’t sleep without you.”

“I can’t either.” Nursey admitted. “C'me ‘ere babe.”

Nursey lifted the blanket for Dex, and he sat next to him on the couch. Nursey wrapped his arms around Dex, and they lay down. They were silent for a while, before Nursey realized Dex was crying.

“Babe?” Nursey whispered, holding him closer.

“I’m sorry Derek.”. Dex said between sobs. “I was annoyed about a lot of things, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I know its not fair. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, its okay babe,” Nursey said, comforting him. “We’ll talk about in the morning, okay? Let’s try get some sleep.”

“Okay.” Dex agreed, as his sobs quietened. “Okay.”

This still photo from Paterson is so beautifully affectionate, and it’s a sweet trigger for me.

Has anyone ever felt love like this before? I have. The relationship ended…it had to for situational reasons. But that feeling of love…that tickle that you get in your stomach, just by touching foreheads or holding hands or hearing their breathy cadence while they’re sleeping…that never faded.

Maybe that’s why this picture makes me feel the way that I do. It’s a feeling that I will never forget and will never feel again with anyone else. I don’t want to share that feeling with anyone else. I just want to keep that feeling in my cerebral cortex. That little box in your head. I open it whenever I want.

Good Night (Spencer Reid fluff/smut-ish?)

IMPORTANT: Exam season starts tomorrow and I have been studying A LOT and I’m so tired all the time. For the next 9 days I probably won’t be posting as much (I will try) please don’t be mad,and when I’m done I will be doing requests and another part of Lie to me (until the next exam season starts again) …..and I need to update the masterlist god damn

another note:this is smut I wrote last year and my sorry for not posting as much gift *runs away crying with notes and books* 

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