so i got bored and made a thing

I miss Trader Joe’s salads. They contain interesting and delicious ingredient and very little boring iceberg lettuce.

The salads I’ve had lately from the regular store are literally the most cookie cutter boring thing I’ve ever seen.

The one today was a “crispy chicken salad” which had about 1 chicken tender worth of soggy fried chicken chunks, nearly a cup of soggy cheese in a wad, ¼ cup of black olives, ½ cup of some kind of dressing that might have been Ranch at one point but it didnt taste like ranch, even bad ranch, and a small smattering of red onions that were so slimy and smelly that they were probably made a month ago.

By the time I got all the junk out it was a few black olives, remnants of the gross cheese I couldnt get out, 1/3 less lettuce because cheese and onion slime was glued to it, and I had to add some chicken because it had 4 small pieces and they were mostly soggy breeding.

My “Caesar Salad” from there had 4 tiny croutons in a little bag, ½ cup of dressing so thick and rich it would have done 20 salads, 50% brown lettuce, and maybe a whole cup of wet sticky cheese on one side.

The “Chef Salad” which I havent opened yet has what looks like tofu chunks I’m sure are processed chicken feet and ass pressed into bleached white blocks, another ½ cup of dressing and from the bottom, I see lots of brown lettuce.

I think tomorrow I need to hit TJ’s for some real salads cause this **** ain’t cutting it.

At least I had some left over squash soup so I had something decent to eat.

And Im out of fruit juice but so tired and lazy that going 2 minutes down the street to the store, parking, and walking 5 minutes to the very back for juice doesnt appeal to me.

Hell I need papertowels and ordered them online because Id have to walk 3 minutes to them in the same store. And park 2-4 mins away because its so busy unless I go at 1am.

Im not lazy, it just hurts to walk and walking that far means I haveto sit with an ice pack for 20 minutes after.

And now I have a hankering for some fruit juice and some of that really good root beer. Ugh. Someone bring me to Sprouts please? Thanks. I’ll nbuy you some groceries or a proper salad or hug you in return.

My fave thing abt being at home is that I can be bored and just get up and make a pie from scratch like I just spent an hour jamming out to old 1d and made a mixed berry pie with a pie crust from scratch and I’m 90% sure it’s going to be horrible but !!! The point is that I got to do it and it was amazing

Clarke: I want to make sure that everyone is saved! We will all survive together! Let’s share the bunker!

Grounders: Nah. Let’s have a conclave instead and whoever wins gets the bunker for their clan.

Octavia: *wins the conclave* We are one clan! We will all share the bunker! Together!

Grounders: Okay! Let’s do it! Hey Clarke, we wanna share the bunker with you now!

Clarke:

If she wants a fairy, she can have a fairy...

I got bored after work so I started building characters for my family members. I made a pretty cool Half-orc Ranger for my mum and a Dragonborn Barbarian for my dad. Then I asked my older sister (26) what she wanted.

Sis: “Can I be a fairy?”

Me: “Uuh… the closest thing to that would be an elf, or maybe a gnome?”

Sis: “Okay cool a gnome will do… and I want to be bright pink and turquoise.”

Me: “Alright, gnome wizard it is. What will your name be?”

Sis: “Hmm… Sqiddley McFannagan”

Me: *stunned silence* “Could you… spell that for me?”

ACROSS

5. Matches with 22 across
7. Points to home
10. Thank you Styles for making me
11.  My favourite thing about Chop Suey is his
12. Matches with 15 across
14. They met in a
15. The summertime and ____ all belong to your creation
16. It just kind of
17. The only tweet the Bears liked
18. Pronounced like Connor
21. What happened in
22. Always in my
23. In this fandom, nothing is a

DOWN

1.  Matches with 7 across
2.  Birds don’t have
3.  Louis got the
4.  I study
6.  The artist whose concert they didn’t meet at
8.  Singer of “Still The One”
9.  #welivetogether
13. Bears coming out of
18. Niall’s role on the ship
19. Matches with 3 down
20. How do you

(I was bored so I made a Larry crossword)

Living with Jim Moriarty Would Include

Requested by two anons! (Seriously though I live for these little platonic things.)

Originally posted by twentyonekpoppilots


  • Yourself and Jim would have been friends for a long time so when he got bored of most other people he would have called you up, afterall, he didn’t find you too tedious.
  • Unfortunately to keep himself (and you) safe, you weren’t allowed to actually know where you two lived exactly. This made it quite awkward when you wanted to order things off Amazon. Jim would end up paying for a PO Box for you so you could get “little treats”.
  • Dancing to loud music in your shared flat. Jim takes your hands and twirls you around, mouthing along to the song while you laugh. 
  • Sherlock would work out Jim had a flat-mate from all the little hints he dropped. This would completely confuse Sherlock but he could never find out who you were.
    “They’re no one Sherlock. Well, no one to you, they are a lot to me.”
  • Jim would often rant to you about his day.
    “But how can they be so stupid? It’s painful.”
  • Running one of his phones. You text quite a few people from this phone (usually while Jim cooks dinner - sometimes he likes to “play domestic”)
  • He would actually cook for you a lot, when he had time.
  • Sherlock would realise it was you running that phone (even though he’s never actually met you) and you would tease him with little games. He wouldn’t be able to stop himself playing along, even though he knew it was pointless.
  • Jim would make sure no one ever got to you. You were his top security priority.
  • Jim would call you his “live-in” or “pet”.
  • He would joke that you and John should get along well but you just roll your eyes and tell Jim that you’re not his blogger.
  • Jim offers to run your blog but you laugh and tell him no.
  • He would often test his little plans by you first.
  • Using other people to talk for him would have been your idea (even if you had meant it as a joke).
  • He wanted to test it out by speaking for you when you go on a date, you tell him no and make him go on the date instead. He comes back an hour later with lipstick all over his face, “I hate you.”
  • Going on “dates” to the art gallery, the pool, the hospital.
    “(Y/n)!” Jim sings, “Come out for a date with me!”
    “A date?”
    “Yes of course. Not really. I need to scout out the location. Come come.”

  • Buying him a tiara. 
    He wears it.
  • Playing chess. But not proper chess. You play it together as if it’s a real battle, just charging all the pieces together, with dramatic audio from you and Jim in silly voices.
  • Jim sometimes sleeping next to you in bed because your breathing helps him think. 
  • “No one will ever get to you. Not Holmes, not Watson. No one.”

Related to: Living With Sherlock Would Involve
Masterlist

anonymous asked:

What's Bloodborne's Plot?

So this ancient underground civilization™ thought it would be pretty rad to make a deal with some aliens and take their blood, but surprise, it actually wasn’t a good idea at all! Turns out the blood was in fact bad for humans and turned them into beasts. At some point the aliens got bored or something or maybe it was just really stuffy underground, so they left the ancient underground civilization™ and looked for new things to play with (all except Ebrietas because either the other aliens didn’t want her to come or she really liked living in the dark, cold, damp ruins of a dying race, who knows). Things went a bit downhill from then and everyone underground either turned mad or turned beast.

Anyway some years or decades or centuries later someone was like “let’s build a gothic city with as many superfluous ornamentation as we can think of” and others were like “yeah okay” and they built Yharnam right on top of the ancient underground civilization™’s former homes. There was also a school and of course it was bound to happen that the pupils stumbled across those ancient homes at some point (tho no one knows how, maybe one of them stubbed their toe against some weird monolith that came out of the ground and it turned out to be the entrance to the old labyrinths). Down there they found traces of the aliens and since they didn’t know that most aliens are evil and want to overtake the world, they decided to research them instead of calling it a day and never coming back.

There were two people in the school that were a bit more important than the rest. One of them was principal Willem, who just sat in his chair all day and waited for the aliens to abduct him because he found them so cool. The other one was Laurence and he’s like “let’s take this blood and make a religion out of it.” and principal Willem was like “no Laurence this is a really horrible idea” and then Laurence was like “Pshhh whatever.” and he went to found the healing church. And since Willem only sat in his chair all day he couldn’t follow and stop him.

So Laurence and his church became pretty popular in Yharnam and the blood they took from the aliens healed all kinds of diseases and people came from far and wide to get an injection with the blood because hepatitis hadn’t been invented yet. But as we all know the blood turned people into beasts, so Laurence was like “oh fuck” and called his friend Gehrman to hunt and kill those beasts so the rest of the populace could take their blood and transform in peace.

Like that the Hunter’s Workshop was founded and did some pretty nasty things, until one day Laurence was like “actually you know what I don’t need you anymore, I made a new gang of hunters, with black ones and white ones.” and Gehrman was so pissed about it that he made contact with one of the aliens and immediately got trapped in a dream world. Stupid Gehrman.
There was also this other dude called Micolash who was friends with Laurence at first and helped him with research and alien-ology. But then got bored and founded his own school. It was much fancier than that of Willem because Mico had rituals and sacrifices and neat headwear. Somewhere along the way he fucked up tho and contacted an alien, too, and of course promptly got trapped in a dream world. Those people never learn.


Anyway, meanwhile in the waking world Laurence realized that maybe, eventually, there could be a slight chance that the blood wasn’t good after all because the whole city had gone nuts. There are beasts and crazy people and crazy beast people and there is really no way to save things anymore.
Enter The Hunter, a poor soul who just wanted some blood treatment and somehow got dragged into the whole thing of beast hunting. After overcoming several obstacles, including a really sad priest, multiple screaming gigantic dogs, Good Ol’ Micolash Himself and progressively weirder-looking aliens, The Hunter is left with the choice of dying, also getting trapped in a dream or being turned into a squid. The latter is the best option because you still get to be with The Waifu.

Disposable pt14

Being friends with benefits with Min Yoongi can be complicated (at best) by itself. But when you accidentally tell your family (and his boss) that the two of you are dating, things get messy. It only complicates things more when you blackmail Yoongi into pretending to date you, and neither of you can quite keep your feelings separate, no matter how much you try.

Angst, fluff, slight smut at times.

Yoongi x Reader

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 


“How’s he feeling?” Jungkook asked, watching as you buttered toast to bring to Yoongi.

“How do you think he’s feeling?” You scoffed. Jungkook had been the one to hear you trying to half-carry Yoongi inside the previous night, and had helped without saying a word.

“Was he drinking because of all of us? We uh… Kind of backed him into a corner in the car…” Jungkook rubbed his neck, giving you an apologetic smile.

You sighed. Truth be told, while you were fairly sure whatever Jungkook, Jimin, Namjoon and Seokjin had done to Yoongi in the car contributed, you didn’t think that was the main reason—it was more likely your fault. “I don’t know, Jungkook…” You said, turning to face him. “You could be nicer to him, though.”

Jungkook grimaced. “I know, Namjoon keeps telling me the same thing… I just get worried, you know? I don’t want you to get hurt because of some idiot who doesn’t treat you right.”

“I know.” You said, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“But I’ve decided something. I think I misjudged Yoongi.” This came as a complete surprise to you. After all the death glares and accusatory questions, the last thing you thought Yoongi getting drunk would do was make Jungkook reconsider.

“Oh?” You asked, raising your eyebrows.

“Yeah. See, I’ve known him since college, and I guess I just… Assumed he was the same as he was back then when it came to dating.” Jungkook shrugged. “Maybe you changed him. Or maybe he changed, and then you started dating him. Either way, he’s different.”

“What do you mean?” You asked off-handedly. You didn’t want to sound like you didn’t know anything about what Yoongi was like in college, but you couldn’t help but ask.

“Oh, you know… After that girl broke his heart, he just kind of…” Jungkook shrugged. “I never heard exactly what happened, you probably know more about all that mess than I do, but it was like he just… Stopped trying?” Jungkook sipped his coffee.

“Stopped trying…how?” You were in dangerous territory—Jungkook had accepted Yoongi, you didn’t need to put doubts back in his head—but you were so curious.

“He just…Shut himself off from the world. You should really talk to Yoongi about that though, I don’t like to gossip.”

You shook your head. “It isn’t gossip! I didn’t realize you two were so close.”

“We weren’t.” He said. “Not in college, I mean. Namjoon introduced us, he wanted us to be friends for some reason. I’m surprised Yoongi never mentioned anything about it. Then again, no one wants to relive painful memories, right?”

“Right. He doesn’t like talking about it, so…” You said, distracted by your own thoughts. “Jungkook? Do you remember what you heard happened between him and the girl?” It wasn’t your business, you knew, and you almost hoped Jungkook would say he couldn’t recall.

“I didn’t know him very well at the time.” Jungkook said, shifting slightly. “So I never heard from him. Just… what other people said.”

“And?” You pressed.

“And people said that he bought a ring to propose. Then walked in on her cheating.” Jungkook said it quietly, as though he was afraid Yoongi would hear. “And I don’t like spreading rumors, so you should really ask him.”

You nodded again, picking up the plate with toast on it and putting it on a tray along with coffee and some Tylenol. It was no wonder Yoongi pushed people away, going through that would be horrible—not that it excused the way he treated you when you were friends with benefits, but you could see how an experience like that might change someone.

Before you left the room, however, Jungkook caught your attention.

“Is…Is everything alight with you two?” He asked. There was no venom in his voice, however, just a genuine concern. “I know it’s not really my business, but…”

“Everything’s fine.” You assured him with a smile. “We’re fine.”


When Yoongi’s head finally stopped hurting enough for him to venture out of the bedroom, the yard looked nothing like it had the previous day. Large tents, big enough for at least five tables each had been placed around, with fairy lights strung all around. The sun was still a little too bright, so Yoongi turned to go back inside after finding where all the noise was coming from and not seeing you anywhere.

“Looks good, doesn’t it?” Seokjin asked from where he leaned against the side of the house, watching the workers. “Namjoon spends a stupid amount of money on these things, but they sure are pretty.” He flashed Yoongi a smile.

“Yeah, I guess.” Yoongi agreed. He had been looking for you (to find out what was going on, not because he wanted to be near you for some inexplicable reason) and in all honesty wanted to continue his search.

“Are you feeling better?” Seokjin asked, and Yoongi realized he had no idea how much you told them—or even if they had seen him the previous night. You brought him breakfast-in-bed and then disappeared, saying something about needing to help get ready for Namjoons party. “I know Jungkook said you were feeling quite ill this morning, do you think it was something you ate?”

“Just allergies, I think. I’m feeling much better, thanks.” Yoongi said, returning the smile. It was possible that you told Jungkook that he was sick, but the likelihood of Jungkook believing that seemed slim, so Yoongi didn’t know what to think.

“Good. That means you can help me decide where the DJ should set up.”


The day passed in a blur of yelling, decorations, and you trying to convince Namjoon that he wasn’t old, no matter how much you teased him about it. You saw Yoongi occasionally, being dragged around by either Soekjin or Jimin, but never for long enough to really talk to him. Jungkook told you that Jimin was doing it on purpose because he thought it was funny to watch Yoongi try to come up with excuses to be in the same room as you.

Keep reading

Once when I had to go to summer camp, I was forced to participate in a mandatory cooking contest. I was like 3 years older than the second oldest kid and was annoyed and bored all week so I was like

u know what I’ll bake you a fuckin cake.

So I got my sib and a kid who thought I was cool to be on my team and under my leadership we made a salt cake. I’m talking like 3 cups of salt, that shit was inedible. your brain would make you spit it out before you registered what you put in your mouth.

after it came out of the oven we decorated it nicely. It looked like a normal cake. When it was time to judge it we were cracking up, so the judges were like “seems sketchy but how bad can it be” so they all took spoonfuls that were an entire mouthful size

the judges were sitting on picnic table near the beach and 2 out of 3 of them turned around and immediately spit the cake into the ocean (probably raising the saltiness of that beach.) the 3rd judge spat it out into his napkin.

they then grabbed the previous entry and started shoving it in their mouths to get rid of the taste.

we did not win the contest but i definitely felt like I won

a few years later i was a camp counselor and I brought in a cake for the kids to try.

Anyway, I think Taako would do that.

2

Walk to the ends of the earth and you might just find yourself along the way. 

2

and if it was just how you wanted, you’d be glued to his bones

“BILL WURTZ’S HISTORY OF THE ENTIRE WORLD, I GUESS” SENTENCE MEME
  • You’re on a rock floating in space.
  • It’s sad. I’m sad.
  • Nothing was never anywhere.
  • I think there’s a universe now!
  • Ah, that’s a thing! In a place!
  • It’s still very full and about a kjghpllion degrees.
  • HOT.
  • Some stars burn out and die, bigger stars burn out and die with PASSION.
  • Weather update: It’s raining rocks from outer space.
  • Weather update: Cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava.
  • Weather update: It’s raining.
  • Something’s alive in the ocean!
  • Taste the sun!
  • Wow, that’s animals and stuff.
  • The sun is a deadly lazer.
  • Not anymore, there’s a blanket.
  • Learn to use an egg.
  • Use a stronger egg!
  • And now everything’s huge.
  • Oh fuck, now everything’s dead.
  • Yeah, it broke apart. Don’t worry about it. It does that all the time.
  • It’s mammal time!
  • Look at those breasts.
  • That’s a human person.
  • Fuck it, time to plant some grass.
  • Tired of using rocks for everything? Use metal!
  • Why is all my metal so lame and lumpy?
  • Tired of using lame, sad metal?
  • I don’t know, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it.
  • Clop clop! It’s the people with the horses.
  • You could make a religion out of this!
  • Don’t get too sexy.
  • Wow, that’s big.
  • He was great and now he’s dead.
  • Will you get the hell out of here if I give you 500 elephants?
  • Fuck you, obey the law.
  • Thanks for invading our homeland.
  • Wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
  • Let’s do a crusade.
  • Look at those mounds.
  • Wow, that guy’s rich.
  • Hey, c’mere, time to share.
  • Here’s a printer, let’s make books.
  • Do you sin?
  • That’s bullshit. This whole thing is bullshit. That’s a scam.
  • Damn, we gotta start pillaging some stuff.
  • But at least there’s beavers.
  • Guess who’s broke!
  • That’s just where he lives.
  • Well, blame something on them and go to war.
  • Look at those guns!
  • Let’s get in a car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies.
  • Wow, that worked?
  • Let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead.
  • I’ll race you to space!
  • Surprise! It’s in your pocket.
  • Wanna learn everything?
  • Wanna print a brain?
  • Let’s invent a thing inventor.
  • By the way, where the hell are we?

F*** IT IMMA DO SHIT


Maytal_Error Challenge thing was made by @utroleplay

And @xedramon made @fatal-error-blog /Fatal_Error/ That skeleton in the drawing that is RIGHT THERE

I decided fatal hated monday so much he drowned his rage in snow cone syrup and then redecorated error’s place and took some random shit, because he got drunk on snow cone syrup…. I was bored

F*** you phone camera…

anonymous asked:

can u write a niall blurb of a sort where ur really nice and hardly ever get mad or mean to anyone, even him and u yell at him and he's shocked cause you're never this mad .. ever but u just feel like he's been using you for granted too much?? thankyou!

Nadine and Niall.  Niall and Nadine.  It had been a joke since grade school that if you saw one, the other wasn’t too far behind.  And just because Niall was now a member of one of the biggest boy bands in history that hadn’t changed.  Nadine accompanied Niall on tour at his behest.

Nadine was Niall’s constant.  The one thing in his life that hadn’t changed since the X Factor.  She was always there, without reservation and she did the best she could to help him out in every aspect.  Regardless of what it was he asked for.

“Hey, can ya grab this for me?”

“Nady, I need ya t’make a run to the drug store for me…yeah?”

“Willie needs some shirts…here’s some cash.”

That’s how conversations usually started between them.  And after six years, Nadine was getting tired.  Tired of always being Niall’s gopher.  She’d spent the last year trying to convince herself she was being selfish with that attitude.  Because of Niall she’d gotten to see the world.  She’d been a part of things most people only dream about.  

But she’d had no life of her own.  She was usually awakened every morning by her phone blaring Niall’s ring tone.  And the rest of her day was spent running around for him.  It wasn’t really his fault.  Niall was forgetful and being that he was who he was a quick trip to Wal-Mart to pick up some toothpaste or deodorant could easily turn into a nightmare when word got out he was there.  So Nadine went to get it for him most of the time.  Along with any food he wanted.  Or clothing.  Or flowers for his mother on Mother’s Day.  Or tickets to a game for his father on Father’s Day.  And on and on and on.

Pretty soon Nadine’s entire day had turned into nothing more than running around for things Niall needed.

As usual she heard Niall before she saw him,

Keep reading

4

so I got bored and started doodling all the justice league members (plus some) from memory and hours late I regret a lot of things but here’s a silly collage of doodles…

if they’re inaccurate it’s because I made it a game to see how good my memory is. i drew them ALL from memory so hey…i’m pretty happy with how close i got THIS MANY lmao

feel free to use if you want! they’re just doodles so I don’t mind!

(please don’t repost or remove description; thanks!)

Requested imagine •14 Jeff

Hi! Could you make an imagine where the reader and Jeff aren’t close but sometimes she helps him with spanish hw cause she’s Spanish, and then they both coincide at a party. Reader doesn’t like parties and Jeff keeps her company so she won’t be wandering alone?

“Are you going to the party tonight?” Jeff asked glancing up at you as you checked over his homework, you shook your head and didn’t say anything “aww why not?” He asked pouting making you laugh “party’s are not my thing” you replied and handed him it back “looks good, you should pass” you said with a smile and his pout turned into a grin “I can’t thank you enough y/n” you smiled and started to pack your things away “please come to the party!” He begged “I’ll think about it” you mumbled and walked away.

Later that night you sat on your bed feeling bored, glancing at your make up station you thought “fuck it” and started to get ready, showing up at the party was pretty daunting, you’d never really been to one but you made your way to the kitchen which was the least noisy and noticed Jeff near the door with a group, you didn’t want to disturb him so you got a drink and waited for him to finish his conversation.

10 minutes later Jeff just happens to turn and see you and his eyes light up as he immediately ditches his group of friends to greet you “you made it!!” He nearly squeaked and you nodded laughing “what you wanna do?” He asked and you shrugged “I don’t know I’m not really into parties, I was just bored at home and decided to try it out” you replied and he smiled “I’ll look after you” he winked and took your hand, guiding you around the party showing you different things, people playing beer pong, people passed out, people making out and people throwing up “okay I admit it didn’t really sell the party idea” he said innocently looking down making you laugh “I’m very glad you came tonight though y/n” he whispered and held your hand tighter throughout the whole night.

Jeff offered to drive you home but you insisted he walk you home instead “I swear I’ve not had much to drink” “I don’t care, one is too much. I don’t mind walking alone it’s fine jeff” you reply and his eyes widen “the hell you will walk home alone! Let’s go” he exclaimed grabbing your hand and taking you outside, he took off his jacket and gave it to you. He walked you home and stood awkwardly on your doorstep “I’d ask you in..but it’s like 1am and I don’t think you’d really want coffe-” you rambled when suddenly he kissed you mid sentence, you both finally pulled away and Jeff had a huge smirk on his face “next time you need a party guide you know where to find me pretty lady” he said winking at you before walking away.


Hope this was ok! This is the last one I can write tonight because I’m falling asleep while I type! The rest will be posted tomorrow!