so i didnt cry or anything

i still remember the exact moment and feeling and just overall joy of when i got my first album and i remember the entire day so fondly and i remember dancing around to the platinum edition of fearless for years alone in my room with a clunky old black stereo and i remember acting out scenes to songs and crying over lyrics and i remember when i first got home and i sat down and figured out all the secret messages and i remember bringing the album to school with me because i wanted to show all my friends and i also didnt want anything to happen to it and oh man thats just such a fond time period to me and i honestly owe that incredible feeling i had and still get by thinking back to it to taylor. thank you so much, taylorswift. i owe you one.

oh my gosh today i left my phone in the car while i went to get a parking ticket for my mum and i got one of those automated messages from mydol and now im pretty sure she thinks i have a boyfriend….

anonymous asked:

hiii ^^ what do you do when you're just walking down the street and then some guys shout at you 'you're ugly as fuck' ? i didnt even look at them but it hurt so much . when they said it , it felt like glass idk and i wanted to cry but i couldn't ..

I can’t believe there are still poeple who act like that in this world and I’d usually tell you that you did good for not saying anything because that person is not worth your fucking time but I would of shouted back at him if he had looked in the mirror before he left home. I would probably have said something meaner because there are a lot of times when strangers just randomly talk to me or to my best friend and I’m having non of that. I don’t even care that they can hear me. Anyway, you should know that you’re beautiful inside and outside compared to those assholes which the only thing they have is an ugly heart. You shouldn’t let these kind of people put you down. Don’t, under any circumstances, let them get to you. Self respect is the most important thing.

You can come into my askbox on anon and confess something to me, it can be anything you’d like!

i havent slept in 30 hours and im about to cry because it took me 5 times to spell hours right and i cant understand a single sign in this stupid sign language final why couldnt it be like all the other fucking finals we took why do we have to watch a video with like 50 signs we’ve never seen before

I WANT TO CRY NOW IM SO SCARED

NOTHING IS MORE SCARIER THAN YOUR STUFFED ANIMAL SNEEZING, I SWEAR TO GOD IT DIDNT MOVE OR ANYTHING, AND THE TAG WAS STILL AND I FELT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT I SWEAR TO GOD IT SNEEZE AND IT SCARED ME SH**LESS AND I WAS SCARED AND CONFUSED AND LOST AND NOW IM EMBARRASSED CAUSE I FEEL LIKE ITS REAL AND ALIVE AND I CANT EVEM RIGHT NOW T^T

I KNOW IM CRAZY BUT 。・゚・(ノД`)・゚・。 GLOB MA'AM IT…

i wish i didnt blog abt this but i dont know who to talk to
i cant get out of this hole
i cry like 10 times a day which is ridiculous
im crying right now
being alone at home makes it 20 times worse but i dont want to bother anybody but nothing is interesting and only like 2 things make me happy and i dont know what to do, im trying so hard to not think suicidally but its hard and im not ready to go to college or deal with anything and im so dumb and untalented and unproductive and worthless
and i cant stop crying abt stupid things

OH SO YOU GIVE BACK HER NECKLACE WHEN YOU’RE JEALOUS HUH PETER?????????????????? JFC. but then im thinking he only wanted the necklace back so that he had something of hers to keep himself. i mean. he kept it in his pocket!!!!!!!! and he didnt say happy birthday or anything in chem class!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SCREAMING BECAUSE HE’S GOING TO FIGHT FOR HER. AND YAAAAASSSSSS LARA JEAN REALISES IT’S NOT HER AND JOHNS TIME. ITS PETER. IM CRYING . i mean… theres the whole one day thing… and im rambling im shaking i just. okay im going back to reading. so close to the end :’)

  • oh my god. i tried to show my dad the mountain goats a few days ago in the car. and he said that they were depressing and that i shouldnt be listening to them because of all the shit im going through with bpd and major depression. and today he was like i researched more about the mountain goats and that singer john darnielle says hes agnostic, so hes against god. and then he went through there discography pointing out songs with "wierd" names like Cry for Judas and Stabbed to Death Outside San Jua and In Memory of Satan. and they called john demented and sick. i just didnt know what to say because anything i would have said they would have just gotten worse. they took the one thing i love and tore it apart and i am just so trapped. they dont want me listening to them anymore. they said i am too weak and that john is bad. i dont know what to do. i really just dont know what to do. they were so mad at me. how would they react if they found out about my opiate dependence? holy fuck i hate this. i hate my life right now so much. i just dont know what to do. someone please help me

anonymous asked:

12 18 19

/12. Favorite band member from your favourite band?/

So my favorite band is twenty one pilots (obviously) but i really honestly love Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun both equally (which is a lot) because theyre just both so amazing and i really cant choose :0

/18. Last song that made you cry?/

There was this one time where i was just having an awful day, like there was just nothing good about it. I had dysphoria attacks literally all day non stop, and when i got home my family was just really terrible and narrow minded and bitchy. And i was antisocial all day, i didnt even want to talk to my friends, and i didnt want to move or speak or eat or breathe or do anything. And normally when i have a bad day i rant to a couple of friends and i feel better, but that day i ranted to both of them and the negativity didnt go away at all. And so this was around the time when i had just started listening to twenty one pilots, and i hadnt heard the song “Migraine” yet, so i clicked on it and as soon as i heard the first lyrics i just broke down i guess. I recommend that song 100%

/19. Last song that made you smile?/

I was listening to “Holding On To You” by twenty one pilots (what a surprise) and my favorite lyrics are “fight it / take the pain / ignite it / tie a noose around your mind / loose enough to breathe fine and tie it / to a tree tell it you belong to me / this aint a noose this is a leash / and i have new for you / you must obey me” and that just makes me so energetic and hopeful and i cant stop grinning every time i listen to it

anonymous asked:

just a message of randomness i v much love you and youre cute and your hairs so pretty so please never let anyone make you think youre less than youre perfect self and you deserve all kindsve greatness and youre so sweet and i hope you find anything youre looking for and when youre sad always remember you can fuck it in the butt because friggin shit youll always have someone who will always be there even if it doesnt feel like it

Oh my god imdjsjfhjsfh this is so sweet im gonna CRY. Thank you so much this was so lovely u didnt have to take time out of ur day to send this at all but u did and???? I love u okay i love u

THIS IS SO ABOVE AND BEYOND ANYTHING I EVER EXPECTED I MEAN I DIDNT EXPECT SHIT BC I HAD NO CLUE BUT OH MY GOD I LOVE THE VIDEO SO MUCH SO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOO MUCH LIKE SQUAD GOALS AND JST SOMEONE HELP ME GET UP BC I CANT ATOP CRYING AMnxjcandBGMAKCNAKH

im planning my own suicide over and over in my mind ive been calling out for help, for attention, for more help, advice, a fucking hand to pull me back up im past the point of disappointed i dont know what i expected im just fucking scared to face the truth that if i kill myself right now nobody is going to hate me and cry and wish i didnt do it, it’ll be a silent acceptance and everyone will move on i never meant anything i was always a side character with an irrelevant story im not meant to live in this world i just wish i was i wish i wish i wish and im spilling my fucking heart out because i dont think my tears will stop at this point i dont think ill be sleeping soon im so angry im so tired i just want someone to shout loud enough to break my bodys sound barrier, im a selfish person and all i can see in my head right now is my father saying he loves me and all i csn say back is then show me then show me then show me then fucking show me and i havent stopped saying it and nobody is showing me and every word that comes out of my mouth drops like lead they fumble they’re never right misunderstanding!!!!!!! misunderstanding!!!!!! i cant believe how many times ive talked my own damn self out of suicide because nobody else felt like reaching out im so sad and i guess i deserve it all i deserve to feel like this im so fucking tired