Even though it nearly drowned us in angst, we have to appreciate how healthy that conversation actually was.
“I swear to you, I wanted to tell you, I tried. And then you found that ring and I just couldn’t bear to ruin that happiness.”
~ he doesn’t dance around it, goes right for the truth, explains the situation and why he chose to act the way he did; that it was coming from a place of love.
“How could you do this?”
~ she asks with shock, and hurt. He doesn’t know what she’s talking about at first - he thinks she’s talking about killing her grandpa but what she’s really talking about is burning his own memories. The way she says it with a hint of concern, like even though she’s mad, she’s hurting for him because if he’s gonna resort to such drastic measures, this must be eating him up inside.
“I’ve been asking myself the same question, and all I can say is that I was a broken man for a very long time and I did horrendous things..”
~ THIS! LINE! IS! SO! IMPORTANT! Because he was a broken man and the fact that he recognizes that his deeds were horrendous proves how much he’s changed. And the fact that he’s sharing with her that he knows he was broken - ugh. Beautiful.
“I’m not talking about that I’m talking about this. You were about to burn your own memories why would you do that?”
~ Here the concern for him is even more prominent in her tone. It almost sounds like she’s going to cry. She’s so concerned that he was going to burn some part of his past, because she loves every part of him, including his wrongdoings.
“Because I was ashamed, Emma. And scared losing you and everything that matters to me.”
~ She is everything to him. He is terrified of losing her. Do I even need to say more like omg.
“You really think that would happen after everything we’ve been through?”
~ this is her having 100% confidence in what they have. They have made it through darkness and DEATH, and that proved to her that together they can do anything. She’s surprised and hurt that he doesn’t feel the same way. Why doesn’t he? is what she’s she’s wondering.
“How am I supposed to sit across from your mother and father at the table and look them in the eye after what I’ve done?”
~ He’s letting her know how guilty he feels. How he’s terrified he’ll be rejected. They’re just laying all their feelings on the table and it’s so healthy I can’t even
“I’m not saying it would be easy. You know them, you know they would forgive you, that’s who they are.”
~ She’s validating his feelings, saying yes, it will be a big hurdle. But then she also reassures him that he is loved so much but not just her, and that nothing he does or says will get him kicked out of their lives. Ever.
“This isn’t just about them, this is about me. I already destroyed my own family once and that was hard enough but knowing that I destroyed yours too, I just…I didn’t know how I could live with that.”
~ YESSSSSS Killian. This is about you. And that is perfectly okay like it is 1000000% okay for you to worry about yourself instead of everyone else (including Emma) for once. You need to heal and this is the way to start, by telling the woman that you love that this is how you feel and where your head is at. Good job precious pirate good job!
“You come to me Hook, and you lean on me, and you trust ME!”
~ Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh the knife-in-the-gut line. The most beautiful line in my opinion. Cause it came from the mouth of Emma Swan, who spent her life leaning on no one. Who, after Neal, had a necklace that she wore to remind her never to trust ANYONE. And now she has a life partner that she trusts so completely and has leaned on countless, countless times (When she was watching her mother die, when she almost froze to death, when she was confused about Lily, when she was mad at her parents, all throughout Camelot, when she admitted she wanted a future but was scared, when she was in the underworld and had a scary vision, like a million bazillion times she’s gone to him and leaned on him) and now all she wants is to return the favour for him. And frankly she’s devastated that he doesn’t feel like he can lean on her. Like he is my rock, why aren’t I his? is what is going through her mind. ASDFGHJKL.
“We have to stop hiding things from each other.”
~ She doesn’t just blame him, she knows she’s hid things from him before too and might some day do it again. They both need to stop in order for this to work.
“The man I fell in love with would know that. You would know that we would do things together.”
~ Telling him that this together thing all originated from him. She fell in love with him because he earned her trust, but never took the lead from her; they always worked together as a team. Together. And all she wants is for them to be doing that now (and for the rest of their lives).
~ the way he splutters it. He’s so in love with her and wants to kiss her for saying these soulful things. She’s opening up to him and pouring out her soul and telling him she loves him in a poetic, wordy way, which is NOT her specialty. But at the same time his heart is aching. He’s done the last thing he wants to do in life. He’s hurt her. Fuck.
“That is what I agreed to marry. That is what I thought we were together.”
~ Again, emphasis on the together, two halves of a whole. And telling him the reason she wanted to marry him so badly - because she feels safe with him. She can trust him. She can lean on him. And she thought she was that for him, too. And if she’s not? Well, they need to fix that before they can move forward.
“Until you’re ready for that..” *removes ring* “Then we can talk.”
~ A bit of tough love, but it’s for his own good. She is NOT rejecting him or breaking up with him or some bullshit like that. Their love means more than that. She’s just telling him “Hey. I love you. And I am so, so ready to marry you. But I want our engagement to be happy and pure. And it is anything but happy and pure right now. So until we figure this out, take this back. And work through your feelings. And if you need me, I will be right here.”