so i can take this tie off

THE MYSTERIOUS VLIVE VIDEO:  WHY WAS JIKOOK HIDING????

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY! I received this same ask 4 times, in less than 24h. It just took me some time to answer it because I had to gather data.

I didn’t had a tumblr when that video was out so my detailed analyses wasn’t shared with ANYONE! But now you asked and I am ssoooooo glad you did. Because OH BOY!! I can easily spot a liar. And Jungkook was clearly caught in a lie.

Here we go : It starts with Taehyung doing a Vlive. A viewer asks him to go to another member’s room. 

He states that he doesn’t know their room’s number.

So He texts the other members to ask them about their whereabouts (using a group chat). You can hear him texting around 5:20. Somebody (we will discover later that he was talking to Jin, who was taking a bath) offers him to go to JK’s room and even gives him the room’s number. 

But he definetly texts JK to tell him that he is coming (5:35 to 5:41). He was smiling as he kept looking at his phone, waiting for a reply. However, He will not wait for an answer from JK. Because normally he is known to be always on his phone especially if the other members are doing a Vlive (Remember when Jin and jimin were doing a Vlive and kookie just came in). So he will assume that it is not a nuisance. Just a fun way to entertain Armys.

I want you to focus here: The text was sent at 5:41 and tae was in front of JK’s door at 6:14. Be it more than half a minute. 6:14 to 6:18 V will be calling Jungkook while knocking the door. JK will answer at 6:21 (It took him 7 seconds) to ask who it was. Of course he knew it was Tae tae. the members always joke how they can know eachothers just by their breathing or footsteps. He was just delaying the time. One more thing to take into consideration. The hotel rooms are not soundproof. Is this why JK is playing the music? (We will comeback to this point later). At 6:28 JK will be like asking someone ‘Who could it be?’. Then quickly finds the first excuse that comes to mind ‘I am not wearing clothes’. Because think about it, no other excuse could have worked better. This is also the first excuse you think of if you want someone to not just barge in into your room.

He will keep making unnecessary noises before opening the door. as if he was trying to hide the footsteps of someone (6:45).  Only at 6:49 JK finaly opens the room. It took him (6:14 to 6:49) 35 seconds. Knowing that he didn’t even wear pants… that take 3 seconds to put on nor the least tie his bathrobe belt that took him 7s on camera. So even the mere 10 seconds were precious doing something else? 

The light was  dim. And I could understand someone staying in a weak lighted room. (i am like that too). BUT a soft lighted room, naked and with some soft music he doen’t even know? This is called a mood setter to Bang Bing Bara Bing Bang. Maybe being naked can mean being at ease by himself in a hotel room (Who will believe that?) But why did he not take his makeup off. Jungkook is known to be allergic to foundation, so he is usually the first one to take it off. But our boy had a full glam on. Who were you trying to impress BOYAA~~

AND the anxious bunny got scared. But again why would you be scared? If you were in the room alone. We will just assume you were watching some video or masturb…. BUT there was someone else in the room … SO?

After that V was about to answer JK’s question “I wanted to be on V…” When a song starts playing. He first thought it was the ringtone of the phone on the table (7:16). But it was JK who was controlling the song using his OWN phone via bluethooth. So Whose phone was that? It was jimini’s phone (Chimchim used that same phone the next day for his Vlive).

Add to this jimin’s hoodie … (Don’t ask me how we knew. It is scary but we know their clothes. there is even bogs who just follow their fashion).

Then JK will keep asking again and again. “Why are you here?”. Tae will give him a simple obvious answer “to do V app”. and JK will be like “Ahh~~~” (Seriously boy why are you so nervous?!)

Jungkook will spot lot of food trash. He will say that he ate it all ALONE?! (JK was dieting) … So he is telling me: he was in the room naked, with the dime light, and the unknown romantic music? Eating bread? BOY I know you can’t lie … BUT THIS? You were totally eating something else but mainly not just bread

Can we talk about the bed? wasn’t the bed too well made? maybe that was the thing that took them time to open the door? Because if he was alone in a Hotel room while everything is all over the place. Why is the bed the only thing that is tidy? Even the pillows?

At 7:59 you could hear the bathroom door open while JK was adjusting the light and V was laying on the bed. Then Jk will tell Mr J “You scared me”. He was clearly not talking to Tae (8:05). That’s when we were 200% sure someone was hiding, AKA Mr J. 

At the start of the video The bathroom door was closed. But then the light in the bathroom was turned on and the door was slighty open. (Do you believe in ghosts? maybe but I believe in Jimin more). 

The mood in that video was so awkward. The tension was unbearable. And Jungkook was restless. Again out of the blue JK will say “I didn’t wash up yet” as “I still need to take a shower, so you better leave as soon as possible”. yet Tae answers by “I didn’t shower either”. Even V’s face darkened during a moment. remember how his face was all smiles at the start. 

The “I am too nervous to hear you, and have a proper discussion, so i will just talk about whatever” will keep going on and on. V will try to propose singing a song. But our bunny will be like “My makeup is smeared” … Boy why do you keep giving us clues we could have just ignored? *sigh* The makeup BTS get, is not the one you girls put. It is stage makeup. Made so even if they run, dance, be exposed to strong hot light. It will not budge. The fact that it smeared … and that he is concerned about it …OH GOD …*use your imagination da*mit Imma not describe everything. This is not smut GAH* 

There is also this discussion. V made JK believe that ALL of BTS sang before him. BUT Jk was like “How can it be true when one of them was with me the whole time kinda attitude” (8:58). he is so sure even if he didn’t watch the Vlive. 

Recall how he said he was hungry, that’s why it took him 5 decades to not even finish that small piece of bread? then says he was full? then asks to eat ramen??? Boy? Have you heard of logic? Yes it happens to me to be hungry exactly after finishing a meal. BUT I will finish the meal first … *He looks cute tho! Focus Mimi focus. don’t get distracted by that bunny*

A lot of people misunderstood this part. They tought Jin was taking a shower in JK’s room. No no no! It was Tae informing kookie that he came after Jin notified him via text. AND Jungkook will ignore that and keeps asking Tae “Can we stay on V for a long time?”. 

Plus him glancing at the washroom all the time. I’ve never seen more obvious than that … 

And this last part, was the cherry on the cake (13:42). Just watch it. You will laugh for 5 min at Jungkook trying to stay as calm as possible. Also, Tae “WE are coming”. JK: Are YOU going..”

The door also closes as soon as V leaves (4 SECONDS: the exact time it took V from the washroom to the door). The doubtful. Is that we didn’t hear JK rushing to close it either. That means it was Mr J who did.
If you have good ears around 14:03 you could even hear Jimin’s voice. 

A liar doesn’t make sense and is full of contradictions. Seems to be thinking hard. Is nervous, tense, and fidgety. Makes few complaints or negative comments. JK was hiding Jimin but the question is: Why was he hiding. The non shippers will tell you he was probably not wearing makeup. I say nop, he wasn’t wearing something else … 

So what do I think? 3 words: JIKOOK IS REAL!

Thanks for the ask ^^
By @mimibtsghost 

Massages

4.2k of smut, I’m not even sorry

‘OUCH! Stop, st- STOP IT PANSY! Argh, fuck, I think I broke a rib.’ Draco sat down on his bed, a painful expression on his face which was paler than usual.

‘You’re an ungrateful bastard’ Pansy flopped beside him, pouting ‘the whole Slytherin house knows I’m the best on giving massage’

‘Well, I better look for someone from other houses then’ Draco made another pained expression as he got up. ‘I can’t, I can’t walk. Argh, fuck!’ He laid down slowly. Pansy only stared at him from the door, the look on her a face a mixture of pity and remorse.

‘I’ll get someone. Even though you were a little bitch just now.’ She glared at him before leaving.

It’d started three days before then. He was getting ready on Wednesday morning to practice quidditch. Everything was fine when he bent down to tie his shoelaces, but the second he straightened his back an acute pain hit him on his hips. It’d gotten worse the past two days to the point now he couldn’t even sit properly without feeling it.

He laid there, thinking maybe he would have to look for Madam Pomfrey after all. But fuck, those potions always messed up with his stomach, he’d do anything to avoid taking them even if it meant asking for someone he didn’t know to give him a massage. Pansy had told him she knew what she was doing but at the end it’d only worsened it.

***

‘It’s for a friend, you see. He’s in a lot of pain at the moment and I was hoping you knew someone good on giving massages’ Pansy flopped down on a chair at the eighth year common room.

‘Well,’ Hermione started, closing her arithmancy book. 'I do, but… who exactly is this friend of yours?’ She gave Pansy a look that could be translated as 'Are-we-talking-about-who-i-think-we-are-talking-about?’

'Draco’ Pansy sighed, predicting the other’s answer. 'But… I swear he’ll behave. And you owe me this one, right? After I brought you those French hair products’ Pansy smirked.

'You really are a Slytherin’ Hermione sighed 'but they were actually amazing. I’ll help you with this one but I can’t guarantee it’ll go well.’

Pansy gave her a quick hug, grinning. 'Who is it then?’

'Harry’ Hermione murmured to herself.

Pansy gasped and then laughed until tears were streaming down her face.

'Holy. Shit. Are you sure he’ll want to do it?’

Hermione gave her a little smile.

'He owes he a favor’

Pansy’s giggling was catching the attention of everyone around them.

'Who’s the Slytherin one now?’

***

'Tell me how amazing I am’

The girl bursted inside his dorm an hour after she’d left to find Draco in the same position.

'You found someone?’ He got up, regretting the decision immediately. 'Ah, shit! Are they outside? Please tell me they’re outside’

'They’ll be here in ten’ Pany sat by his side and poked his cheek 'go on, tell me how amazing I am’

'You’re amazing’ he grunted. When he looked at his friend, though, she wasn’t paying attention, busy with a little pink bag Draco hadn’t noticed she’d brought before. 'What-’

'Oils. For the massage’ she smirked and Draco felt blood going to his cheeks.

'There’s no need for that’

'They have properties. They could help’ she started to take the little flasks with different colors out of the bag and pile them on Draco’s bed.

A light knock on the door told them Pansy’s friends had arrived.

'C'mon in!’

'I just don’t understand why… No. No fucking way.’

'Harry, please, Pansy said-’

'What the actual fuck, Pansy!’ Draco started talking at the same time Hermione tried to stop Harry from leaving the room. 'This is… ah, shit shit- ARGH!’ Draco’s attempt to get up brought back the striking pain on his lower back and he felt his knees failing. The next second he was tumbling to the ground with a loud thud. Tears came uninvited to his eyes and he bit his lips as hard as he could to stop from screaming.

Draco didn’t look up to see who it was that was trying to help him get up. A firm hand went on the underside of his thigh as the other grabbed his shoulder firmly, pushing him to his feet just long enough for him to get to his bed. When he collapsed on his bed, flushed cheeks and tears still streaming down his face, everything he could think about was that maybe his time had come. Die would be better than suffer so much humiliation in front of Saint Potter, who was panting by his side.

Harry stared down at the boy in front of him, Malfoy’s face twisted in an ugly expression. It was like he was trying to sneer at Harry but the pain was too much even for that. Harry sighed and turned to see he was left alone in the room with an incapacitated Malfoy. Well, shit, that was just great. Why couldn’t people just leave him alone? Peace, it was all he was asking for after everything. But, oh no, he had to have asked Hermione for help with his potions homework the week before, and now he owed her this. Harry wouldn’t have denied giving a massage to any of his friends if they’d asked him. He’d helped Hermione, Ginny and even Luna in the past. But Malfoy? Give Malfoy a massage, after everything, almost sounded funny.

Except it wasn’t because Harry had a hero complex and he knew Malfoy wouldn’t ask for such a thing if he wasn’t desperate. It wasn’t even Malfoy who came looking for Hermione, it was Pansy, which meant he probably was in a lot of pain. He couldn’t walk, from what Harry could see.

Small flasks caught his attention, all of them pilled up beside Malfoy.

'What’s this?’ He grabbed one and put it against the light. The liquid inside was thicker than water.

'Oils. Pansy brought them. She said they could help. Not like you need to know this anyway since you won’t use them.’ Malfoy spoke through gritted teeth, facing the wall opposite to where Harry stood. So he was expecting him to leave, that cocky bastard.

'Take off your shirt then’ Harry levitated all the tiny flasks to the ground and picked up one randomly. When he opened it the smell of cinnamon filled the room. Malfoy stared at him like he’d gone insane.

'What do you think you’re doing?’ he asked slowly.

'Well, maybe a massage since that’s what Hermione asked me to do and I can’t have a fucking moment of peace in this castle. And since you seem to be unable to even walk I advise you shut the fuck up and take off your shirt so I can see what’s wrong and finish in time for dinner’ Harry looked up to find Malfoy gaping at him.

'Do you even-’

'Yes, I do know how to do it, you prick. And I’m using this one, so take off your shirt’ Harry signaled to the open flask in his hands as he sat down on the far end of the bed.

He didn’t quite know how the oil would help since he’d never used them when he gave massages before. He liked the smell of it, that was all.

Malfoy struggled to sit down. He undid his tie, opened every button and started to take it off, really slowly trying not to move too much, wincing everytime he did. He folded his shirt and put it on the chair beside the bed. Harry couldn’t help staring at the huge scars on his chest he knew he was responsible for. Guilt settled on his stomach as he tore his gaze away.

'Lay down on your stomach’ Harry got up and sat beside Malfoy’s body as close as he could without brushing their thighs. It was ridiculous, he knew, since he would be touching him quite soon. Malfoy did as he was told and stilled, realising what that meant.

And what it meant was that, like that, he was completely vulnerable. He turned his face to Potter’s side and searched the other boy’s face for any sign of danger but all he could see was a frown as Harry dripped the oil in his fingers. Draco felt his cheeks heat up for some reason he didn’t understand.

'I’m going to start’ Potter’s voice was low when he spoke. Before Draco could say anything Potter’s hands were on his shoulders, placed at the same distance from the centre of his back. They were warmer than Draco’s skin, soft and sticky with oil. His breath got stuck on his throat  when Potter squeezed and, even though his lower back still hurt, Draco felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. He exaled, relaxing into the matress.

Harry maintained the rhythm for a while, squeazing and releasing Malfoy’s shoulders, his thumbs pressing small circles on the other’s neck as he did. Harry, then, started to let his hands go lower, maintaining the pressing of his thumbs as he did until he reached the high of Malfoy’s kidneys. He stopped there to smear his hands with more oil.

'Where did the pain start?’ Harry found his voice was hoarse when he spoke.

'Hm… my hips’ Malfoy sounded sleepy when he spoke. He was so relaxed Harry had to hold back a giggle. He must really be great at giving massage if it meant even Malfoy was enjoying it.

He stopped shortly.

'Your hips?’ Shit, he wasn’t expecting that. 'Er… okay. I’ll- I’ll need you to lower you trousers a bit.  

'What?’ Draco opened his eyes, snapping out of his daze. What did Potter just say?

'So I can reach your hips. I can’t do much with them in the way’ he said slowly, almost like he expected Draco to start yelling at him.

'So you want me to take off my pants?’ Draco couldn’s believe what the fuck was going on.

'No! Just- Just open it, okay? I can do the rest…’ Draco stopped for a second. He reached for his buttons, opened them and laid down again. He turned his face the other way since he was pretty sure he was blushing. Shit, Potter better know what he was doing.

Harry exhaled gradually. He most definitely didn’t know what he was doing. Well, he did, but he shouldn         ’t be doing this. He should’ve stopped, told Malfoy to go look for Pomfrey and got out of there.

Instead he placed his hands on Malfoy’s lower back again. He rubbed his thumbs in circles there, with less pressure this time, and started to press lower as he did. He reached his trousers but since the buttons were open it hang loose on Malfoy’s hips. Harry let his thumbs go under the waist and Malfoy froze.

Harry exhaled again. 'This will probably hurt but if it doesn’t work I’ll know what I have to do, okay?’ He pulled his trousers lower until he could see the other’s boxers. They were black, just like his trousers. Harry could see the fine blond hair that covered his lower back was up.

'Just don’t break my bones’ His tone was sarcastic.

Harry had his weigh on one knee which was pressed against the matress, both hands on Malfoy’s hips.

'Inhale’ Harry instructed. 'Hold’ Malfoy did as he was told.

'Exhale’ he pushed all his weight on his hands as quickly as he could. Malfoy screamed and Harry cursed. They were panting, Malfoy still too shocked to say anything.

'It won’t work, not like this’ Harry got off the bed to take off his shoes. When he looked back Malfoy was staring at him with a strange expression on his face, fear mixed with something else. Was it anticipation?

'This will work’ Harry got on the bed again and before malfoy could say anything he passed one of his legs over the blond’s body, straddling him. Harry sat on Malfoys thighs, trapping him so he couldn’t turn around.

'WHAT THE FUCK, POTTER?’ Malfoy tried to free himself but Harry pinned both Draco’s hands above his head in a strong grip.

'I’m telling you this will work! Stop fidgeting and shut up!’

But focusing on Potter’s words was hard since all he could sense was the warmth and pressure on his thighs, so close to his ass. He’d never felt anything like that before, something disturbingly intimate and his whole body was reacting as if it was. He closed his eyes, cursing inside his head as blood rushed into his cock. Fuck fuck fuck, this wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be…

'Inhale’ Potter’s words resonated closer to his ear than before. He shivered, inhaling as deep as he could. 'You need to relax’ Potter’s voice came out hoarse, his thumbs still tracing circles on his hips. Draco shuddered but felt his shoulders lose tension again.

'Inhale’, Harry repetead. 'Hold’ And Draco did.

Potter shifted on his thighs and Draco almost forgot what he was supposed to do.

'Exhale’ he did it again, placing all his weight in his hands, his thighs pressing hard against Malfoy’s as he did. A loud crack made Harry smile and Draco scream.

And then Malfoy let out a loud moan and Harry lost his train of thought.

Suddenly all the blood in his brain was going down, making his pants too tight. His ears felt like they were full of water when he heard Malfoy hum against the pillow.

'It worked’ Draco breathed, lifting his hips a bit to check if the pain was still there. The motion caused his ass to rub against something hard.

Draco gasped.

Harry moaned low.

Draco’s hips rose up again, higher, rubbing harder against what he knew was Potter and fuck, he didn’t know what he was doing anymore. And then Potter pressed down, literally pressed against Draco’s ass so he could feel it, the whole length even through the fabric. Potter was hard, really hard and Draco felt his own cock twitching at that.

Draco moaned, the sound ringing in Harry’s ears. He should go, he knew he should, but Malfoy was panting, and lifting that roundy ass for him, to rub against him, and Harry saw his face when he turned his head to the side. His cheeks were flushed and lips parted.

Harry pressed again, leaning forward until his mouth was just above Malfoy’s left ear.

'Do you want me to go?’ He needed to be sure, to be certain he wasn’t imagining all that.

Malfoy gasped, his eyes tightly shut. 'No’ He lifted his arm, grabbing Harry’s thigh and craving his nails on it. Harry bit his earlobe, went for his jaw and started sucking there.

Draco’s cock was throbbing beneath him, so hard he was sure he might faint any second.

The next minute the pressure against his ass was gone making a small cry escape his lips. Fuck fuck, Potter must have come to his senses before he did…

His pants were suddenly yanked down to his knees, his boxers with them. The sudden movement ccreating friction against his cock, now leaking on the matress. Draco was sure he couldn’t blush any harder but it didn’t stop him from moaning when hands grabbed his arse cheeks. How come he didn’t know he could get pleasure from there? Potter’s hands were everywhere, squeezing, pinching, scratching the soft skin.

Harry opened his cheeks, exposing his hole and run his thumb there tentatively.

'Ah- ha fuck…’ Draco buried his face in the pillow again. This wasn’t right, this was so fucking wrong, what was he doing moaning for…

'I wanna eat you up’ Harry didn’t mean to let the words escape his lips. His gaze was fixed on Malfoy’s pink hole and when it contracted under his thumb the thought of licking there, fucking him with his tongue, assaulted his mind immediately. Malfoy shivered under him.

'Wh-What are you saying?’ the tips of his ears were even redder from where Harry could see them.

Harry got off of Malfoy’s thighs and pushed them apart. He grabbed Malfoy’s hips again, pulling his ass up a bit. He could see the blond’s cock was hard and swollen, rubbing against the matress. Harry got on his elbows, squeezed Draco’s arse again and bit the already marked skin.

Draco gasped, his head jerking to the side so he could get a glimpse of Potter between his legs. Potter was sucking him at the spot he’d bitten before, his hands massaging the place where his thighs met his ass. He run his fingers there, grabbed his arse cheeks and pulled them apart. Draco drew a sharp breath.

He could hear Harry fidgeting with his own pants followed by the sound of clothes hitting the ground. Draco waved his hand towards the door, a click signalling it was now locked. He couldn’t even begin to think what would happen if anyone decided to come in.

Draco felt something wet, warm and firm press against his hole.

'Fuck fuck, you can’t- ah… ahhhh P-Potter this is…’ he gave a choking moan when Harry began to lick him relentlessly, his own moans reverberating in Draco’s skin.

Harry licked, savoured until his tongue got past the tight ring, and then he was fucking Draco, fucking him with wet and hot thrusts of his tongue. Draco kept pushing  back, gasping as he did, completely out of control.

Harry had never done that before but the second he had laid eyes on Draco’s ass, naked before him all he could thing about was opening him, filing him up to get all those delicious sounds out of him.

Draco moaned, and moaned, louder each time. The words that came out of his mouth were incoherent, interrupted by sharp intakes of air.

'Yes… This- fuck Potter… I-deep-deeper’

Deeper, he wanted it deeper. Harry grasped the tiny flask he’d left on the ground and smeared his fingers with the oil again. He retreated his tongue earning a whimper from Malfoy that turned into a sob the second Harry’s middle finger replaced his tongue, getting in smoothly. Draco gasped, shivering uncontrollably and Harry just stayed there, mouth hanging open at the view. His finger disappeared and reappeared, Malfoy sucking him in while rutting against the matress. Harry curled his finger experimentally getting Malfoy to jolt and scream, throwing his head back. Harry caressed his thigh marked with purple bruises, another finger going inside his hole. The blond hissed but didn’t tell Harry to stop so he thrusted them to the base.

Draco’s brain was shutting down. The lewd sounds filling the room paired with the smell of cinnamon overstimulating his whole body. He wanted more heat, more pressure, more skin against his but the words kept getting lost in his throat everytime he tried to voice his needs. And Potter, fuck, he knew what to do with his hands, with his mouth. That fucking tongue worked like magic inside him. Potter was moving his fingers inside him in a way Draco didn’t even know was possible, scissoring them, thrusting them to the base.

The fingers were suddenly gone. Draco inhalled sharply but before he could complain Potter grabbed his shoulders and turned him around. He laid there on his back, legs spread open, cock dripping with pre come. And Harry stared him down, took in every inch of his light skin shamelessly. Draco felt exposed even though they were both naked. His hole twitched, stretched and leaking all the oil Potter had rubbed inside him and Potter stared. He fucking stared, jerking himself as he did.

Draco grabbed his own cock and began to do the same. It was unfair, having to do it all by himself after all Potter did, that bastard. The gesture caught the Golden Boys’s attention, though, and Draco smirked.

'i want,’ Harry bent down, their chests flushed against each other, his mouth whispering in Draco’s lips. 'I want to put it in you’ he sucked Draco’s lower lip. Holy fuck, he was on the edge already. Potter moved his lips to Draco’s ear and shifted, the head of his cock now poking Draco’s entrance. Draco felt it tingle as Potter cast a protective spell. 'I want to fill you up’ he whispered against his ear.

'Fuck, fuck…’

'Has anyone ever done that?’ he nuzzled Draco’s temple, his glans rubbing against his hole. 'I’m going to take you’ Harry hold his cock steadily as he pushed an inch, stretching Malfoy for him. The blond was panting on his cheek, small sobs inbetween gasps for air.

Harry’s ability to dirty talk, even as his own mind wasn’t working properly was something he didn’t know he could do. He was blushing, panting, but the possessivness he felt made him talk. Malfoy was his, all his, he just never thought that that anger, the rush of adrenaline he felt every time they were close could be hiding something else. He always thought Malfoy was his to take down, to fight against. But he also was his to consume, to bury himself into.

Harry thrust slowly, taking in the tightness, the heat engulfing him. Malfoy was fisting his cock under him, eyes tightly shut and mouth hanging open. Harry stopped Malfoy’s hand with his own and, with a tight grip, trapped them both above his head. Malfoy opened his eyes, his grey irisis thin rings around blown pupils.

'Touch my cock’ he whispered against Harry’s lips, more a command than a pleading. Harry smashed their mouths together instead, refusing to let go of his grip. Draco shivered under him, opened his mouth, let Potter invade his mouth with that tongue. Fuck, that tongue that’d fucked him just minutes ago. And Harry kissed him, his cock deep buried to the hilt inside him. He was full, so fucking full he felt his whole body collapse when Potter started to pull back.

He thrust again, the friction, the pressure, sending shocks of pleasure to Draco’s cock, up his spine, everywhere. Through half opened eyes Draco saw Harry gazing at him, his glasses gone, his lips red, parted as puffs of air escaped them. Harry thrust hard when he realized Draco was staring back. His complex changed immediately.

'I-yes fuck ahh-ah…’ Draco’s whole body was trembling, his ass thrusting back against Harry’s cock, trying to get him to go deeper.

Harry released Draco’s hands, grabbed his thighs instead and lifted them, shoving in until his fingers were numb from the tight grip. He’d leave marks there, crimson lines, and the thought made him moan. Harry bent down again, his mouth reaching Draco’s neck. He sucked him there while he fucked hard and fast. Draco fisted his cock with one hand while the other scratched Harry’s back repeatedly.

His moans were louder now, loud enough Harry was sure people could hear them from outside the dorm. Draco didn’t seem to care, or even realize he was making those sounds.

The next moment Draco was contracting around him, trembling violently and coming on their stomachs. The pressure was enough to send Harry over the edge, his thrusts erratic as he came deep inside Draco.

Draco moaned again when he felt something hot filling him up, Harry’s last thrusts too much to handle.

Harry flopped beside him, his limbs drained of strengh.

'Merlin’ he whispered to himself.

'Yeah’

'That was…’

'Yeah’

They didn’t speak for the next couple of minutes. When Harry got up to leave, though, Draco reached for his arm.

'You could… we- uh… we could…’

Harry kissed him softly, almost clumsily before speaking 'Yeah, I- I’d like that’

***

Draco sat down that evening with Pansy and Blaise at their common room to warm themselves in front of the fire. He couldn’t help wincing a bit when he did.

'What’s wrong? I thought Potter had fixed you back’

Draco felt his face flushing immediately.

'He did! I just…’

'I’m sure he did. Just remember to go somewhere else with thicker walls next time you call him to fix your back’ Blaise didn’t even care to lift his eyes from the book he had in hands.

His cheeks were in flames and the expression on Pansy’s face wasn’t helping.

‘You owe me two favours now!’ She smirked, leaning against the couch like she’d won a bet.

‘What- Why two?’ Draco shifted and winced again at the new burning ache.

‘Because,’ She stuck up a finger like she needed to count all the favours Draco owned her. ‘I found someone to fix your back’ She lifted another finger. ‘And,’

Right that second Potter walked through the portrait followed by Granger and Weasley. He spotted Draco immediately and, well wasn’t that great, strode towards him, leaving Weasley with a confused look and Granger with a knowing one. He glanced at Pancy and saw her waving at the Gryffindor girl. Fucking amazing.

‘Hey,’ Potter stood awkwardly there before sitting on the arm of Draco’s chair. Draco knew his cheeks were already flushed but when Potter bent down and whispered in his ear he was sure he probably looked like a tomatoe. ‘Fancy a game of Wizard’s chess later?’

Pansy was shaking trying to keep herself from bursting out laughing.

‘Your dorm?’ Draco found himself playing with the hem of Potter’s hoodie. The bastard blushed at Draco’s words, but nodded with a smile on his face.

He’d barely turned his back when Draco heard Pansy’s voice loud and clear.

‘And, I got you a cute boyfriend. Two favours!’

***

Ao3 

Chopped

TED: Four chefs, one chance at a ten thousand dollar prize.  They must create an unforgettable meal using the mystery ingredients provided, or they will be chopped.  Let’s meet our contestants.  First, Chef Angela.

ANGELA: I’m Angela, I’m sous chef at Le Snobbe in Omaha Nebraska.  My specialty is Scottish with an Asian twist.  I need to win this so my parents will take me seriously.

TED: Next we have Chef Madagascar.

MADAGASCAR: I run the Shaggoth Catering Company.  My family came over from Kazantzan to build a better life here, but my brothers all died of the plague the second our house foreclosed.  I need the ten thousand dollars to buy my mother a new kidney.

TED: Chef Bill.

BILL: I’m extremely loud and have a broad range of interests that will do nothing to help me in this competition.  Watch me as I punch the camera with my tattooed knuckles that read FOOD.

TED: And finally, Chef Gooseberry.

GOOSEBERRY: I’m Gooseberry, I live in Los Angeles, and I love vegan food to the point where I won’t eat anything that ingests oxygen.  I see so many people eating meat and it *starts crying* just makes me so sad, I have to win this to show them that there’s a better way.

Ted: Chefs, before you there is a basket of ingredients.  You must use all of them, and your dishes will be critiqued by our panel of distinguished chefs on taste, presentation, and creativity.  If you can’t, you will be chopped.  Please open your baskets.  You must construct an appetizer using shank of unicorn, human hair, ground glass, and puffed cheese snacks. You have twenty minutes.

ANGELA: I see the puffed cheese snacks and I immediately think, haggis.  I run to the pantry and grab chickpeas and Sriracha, to give it a little kick.

GOOSEBERRY: Unicorn!  Whyyyyyy is there meeeeeeat!  (cries) Oh well, I’ll just have to suck it up and make it vegan as possible by pan-searing it and dousing it in chicken broth.

MADAGASCAR: I’m so stoked to see ground glass in the basket.  My mom used to cook with this all the time.  It has sort of a crunchy texture, so I’m gonna make pancakes.

(Shot of Bill looking alarmed and confused)

BILL: Guys…none of these are…food…uhh…

BILL: I just have this wad of human hair in my basket and I’m thinking, what the hell am I supposed to do with this?  But I know unicorn has to be soaked to get the glitter off, otherwise it’ll be way too salty and start sprouting little flowers, so I get that soaking and hope the rest will come to me.

JUDGE ALEX: What a great basket!  But I think it will be a real challenge for our chefs.

JUDGE SCOTT: There’s a lot you can do with puffed cheese snacks, but you’d have to be careful their saltiness doesn’t build on the natural saltiness of the unicorn shanks.  I’m so curious to see what they plan to do with the human hair, which in this basket is a mix of Asian, African, and Caucasian strands.

ANGELA: Some of these hairs are Asian, so I use them to tie the ends of my haggis.  I love showing off my specialty.

MADAGASCAR: Not many people would think to cook and eat a unicorn, but in Kazantzan, you take whatever comes your way.  I take the glitter and I put it into a puree for a sauce with vinegar, making sure to chant the ancient evil incantation over it that will keep it from sprouting.  But I’m running out of time, so I may have slurred some of the words together.

(Madagascar starts bleeding from the nose)

JUDGE ALEX: Ohhh, it looks like he’s reversed the S and the Q in “sesustngsnqsutintan.”  That’s the kind of mistake that could cost him some time.  You have to admire his ambition though.

BILL: I get the unicorn into the grill, but I haven’t even touched my hairball yet.  I remember thinking of a prank my big brother played on me once, so I throw the ground glass into the blender with some ice, vodka, and limoncello.

TED: And there is one minute left remaining!

ANGELA: I haven’t even started plating yet, my haggis isn’t done swelling, but I’m thinking, just get it on the plate.

GOOSEBERRY: I have one minute.  I’m gonna make a fresh green salad to represent my vegan lifestyle, and start making a vinaigrette.

TED: FIVE…FOUR…THREE…TWO…ONE…time’s up, please step back.

MADAGASCAR: I look down at my dish, and I’m pretty proud of what I’ve done.  Then I see that there’s nose blood on the plate.  I need that ten thousand dollars.

BILL: I quickly added the hairball as a garnish.

It’s not gross, it’s gormet

GOOSEBERRY: ohhhh nooo I forgot the unicorn shanks, the glass, the hairball, and the Cheetos (TV EDIT, TOTALLY DIFFERENT VOICE) puffed cheese snacks.  All I have is this red onion salad and white truffle dressing.

ANGELA: If I’d just had five more minutes, this would have been a killer cheese and hair haggis.  *shrugs*

TED: Alright chefs, let’s see what you made. Chef Bill.

BILL: I’ve made for you today a cheese-snack encrusted grilled unicorn shank, with a lemon glass slushie.

JUDGE ALEX (sternly): I love this.  You really handled the glitter beautifully, and the limoncello adds a lot of much-needed acidity to the salty flavors.

JUDGE SCOTT: I don’t like it.  There’s hair on my plate and I hate you.

BILL: It…it was one of the ingredients…

TED: Chef Angela.

ANGELA: Before you today we have a cheese snack and ground unicorn haggis, tied with Asian hairs and garnished with a tarragon and glass crumble.

JUDGE ALEX (sternly): The combination is brilliant, the flavors really play off each other well.  But mine is a little cold in the center, and you can see…I have sprouts.

ANGELA: It’s supposed to do that.  I meant to do that.

TED: Chef Madagascar.

MADAGASCAR: Today I’ve made you a unicorn pancake with a glass crust, and a glitter dipping sauce.

JUDGE SCOTT: I’m not getting any of the human hair.

TED: Tell us why you need to win today.

MADAGASCAR: I need to get my mother a new kidney, as we had to sell her good one to pay for my father’s ransom.  He’s okay now, but times have been hard with just one kidney to share between them.

JUDGE ALEX: There’s blood on my plate.  I can’t eat this.

TED: Chef Gooseberry.

GOOSEBERRY: I’ve made a vegan-friendly dish, with the unicorn, cheese snacks, and the hair omitted.  The glass did not make it onto the plate.

JUDGE SCOTT: This is just red onions and white truffle oil.

GOOSEBERRY: That is correct.

(TV EDIT, SCENE RECONVENES TEN MINUTES LATER)

GOOSEBERRY (with a black eye, sniffling): Thank you chef.

TED: Now whose dish has been put on the chopping block?

(DRAMATIC MUSIC AS WE LOOK AT EVERYONE’S SAD FACE)

TED (revealing Gooseberry’s dish): Chef Gooseberry, you’ve been chopped.

GOOSEBERRY: I was pretty disappointed to get chopped, but I stand by my work, and I’m proud nobody had to eat meat made by my hand. (leaves down the hallway)

TED: Next up, the entree round. WHO (flash to Madagascar) WILL (flash to Angela) BE (flash to Bill) CHOPPED???!!??

Context: my character (human named Shavi) is at the bottom of a canyon type thing with another player (half-elf named Cyp), who is unconscious. I tie a rope around the half-elf so another player (half-orc named Ewie), who is at the top, can hoist half-elf up.

Me: Take your knife and cut the rope off as close as you can to Cyp WITHOUT CUTTING CYP!

DM: Ewie, roll a perception check to see what you heard.

Ewie: *rolls a 4*

DM: alright, so you hear Shavi yell, “Knife… cut… Cyp.” What do you do?

(Ewie has low intelligence)
Ewie: well, Shavi said to cut Cyp. I don’t know why but I’ll cut Cyp now.

And that’s how Cyp ended up with a dagger in his side and 2 damage

Your Sugar Baby Over Night Bag : Tips and Tricks

Your SD has asked you to sleep over and to pack an over night bag. What do you bring? The last time I brought an overnight bag, I forgot a very simple item. A brush. lol So here’s some tips, tricks and items it’s always good to have in an overnight bag. 

1. Know his patterns. 

Hopefully by now that you’re sleeping over at his place you have an idea of his patters. Where he likes to go, how he likes to dress and the activities he likes to participate in. This is key to packing your wardrobe. For example, my SD is a socialite. He loves to go out to nice restaurants, preferably with live music so he can bring me to dance while everyone is watching. Aka, anywhere where he can find potential clients and be the limelight. 

2. Know his timing. 

Is your SD an early riser or does he like to lounge around with you in the morning? My SD is a get up and go kind of guy. So lingerie really isn’t an option. I do pack my makeup in a convenient that I can hang on a towel rack that was it’s easily accessible and everything is organized. Your SD wants to have fun, he’ll get frustrated if he has to sit and wait for you to dig through your bag to find things. Be clean and respectful.   

3. Pack light but efficiently. 

Just like my makeup bag. It’s clean, out of the way and on a towel rack. I pack my essentials. Get travel size containers to put shampoo and conditioner in or lotion. If you bring full bottles of thing your bag will be heavy and bulky. He’ll think you want to live with him, not just stay the night. lol 

Checklist :

Makeup: Again, my essentials.
-Foundation
-Primer
-Concealer
-Small eyeshadow pallet (ONE)
-Mascara
-Highlight and Contour pallet
-Eyelashes
-EYE LASH GLUE (Super embarrassing if you forget this) 
-Nude lipstick (one)
-Essential Brushes I keep to a minimum. 
-Chapstick
-Perfume - my SD loves smells


Toiletries :

-Tampons, even if you don’t need them, mother nature can be weird so just have them. 
-Baby wipes. It’s a really quick way to clean “down there” Without taking a shower.  Not to mention they can take your makeup off easily too. 
-Hair Brush. Yes, please don’t forget this. 
-Hair tie. Also a super important thing to have. How can you wash your face when your hair is in the way? Using a towel to wrap your dry hair in is not fun. (Been there) 
-Toner
-Face wash
-Lotion
-Toothbrush and toothpaste 
-Cotton pads
-Your own small face towel. Don’t wipe your mascara on his towel. lol 
-Deodorant 
-Contacts
-Contact solution
-Contact case 
-Bobi pins 

Clothes :

-A really nice dress - What if he doesn’t tell you where you’re going? I always have a dress and heels on hand.
-Dark wash jeans. There’s something aesthetically pleasing about dark wash jeans. You can dress them up, dress them down. 
-Nude heels. I usually bring nude that way i can wear them with my dress, jeans whatever and match no matter what. 
-A casual outfit that looks nice. I always bring a dress then a casual outfit for the next day just incase we go to breakfast. 
-COMFORTABLE lingerie. Is that even a thing? If you don’t sleep naked but don’t want to wear your regular Mickey Mouse Pjs, then get soft comfortable lingerie that isn’t uncomfortable to sleep in. Not to mention, if you do sleep naked but are casually hanging around the house, it’s fun to walk around in. 
-Extra underwear. 2 pairs. 
-Nude bra or sports bra
-Cute sandals 
That’s basically it! Hope it Helps. 
-Samantha N.B. 

anonymous asked:

Whats yo opinion on the fact that aizawa seems to favor low-cut shirts? In most art of him where his neck is showing (w/o the scarf) we usually end up seeing his collarbones as well.

This is such an important question. Thank you for asking.

It’s not even just in fanart that we see him with low cut shirts. Every time he takes off his scarf in the manga, we see his neck.

I think he just prefers low cut shirts because they don’t get in the way. It’s like how he chooses to tie his hair up during his time off. It’s just practical. You don’t need collars scratching your chin and your hair getting in your face when you’re trying to get work done. (I’m assuming he keeps his hair untied because it’s his “hero persona” when he’s “Eraserhead”. I have no idea why his hero costume is so…. impractical. A scarf that can potentially choke him if a villain finds a way around it, his hair flying into his face when he’s fighting… Shouta, sweetie, please…)

He looks ten times comfier dressed like that. Plus the man knows he has a great body. He needs to show off those clavicle bones for us, you know????

The Fox Didn’t Want Those Grapes Anyway

Trump is going to spin his refusal to attend the White House Correspondents’ Dinner as “thumbing his nose at the fake news,” or maybe “I have real work to do, I don’t have time for this nonsense,” or something. The truth is, this is absolutely killing him – for many reasons.

1. This whole miserable era of our lives started at the WHCD in 2011, when Seth Meyers (and Obama himself) tore Trump into small pieces, and then tore those small pieces into smaller pieces, and then threw those pieces up into the air like LeBron James throwing chalk before a home game. Watch that video, and look at Trump’s face – the utter lack of self-awareness, the complete inability to engage in the smallest bit of humility. What a doof. Meyers later reached out to Trump in a “it’s all in good fun!” kind of a way, and Trump laughed and shook his hand and said “Hey, bud, no worries! You were funny and I can laugh at myself!” Just kidding. He was a sour asshole.

2. So: this WHCD was supposed to be his great revenge. (Well, winning the Presidency was his first revenge, this was to be the second.) He wanted to stroll in there triumphantly and lay waste to the haters and losers who mocked him five years ago. This was gonna be some real “Kill Bill”-type revenge stuff – I’m the goddamn President, and now I’m up here, and you have to laugh my MY jokes and respect ME. But he can’t. He has absolutely painted himself into a corner by making the media the enemy in an attempt to explain away the absurd and possibly treasonous actions of his campaign and administration. No way he can set foot in that room. He’ll be torn apart again.

3. And make no mistake – this pains him. Because all the man wants is attention. He positively lives for the warm glow of suck-uppy fawning. He got a lot of it from his campaign rallies – which is certainly why he continues to have them long after they make any sense at all – but those are just people. Suck-uppy fawning from the poorly-educated is fine. It’ll get him through the day. But it’s no substitute for suck-uppy fawning from rich society elites. That’s the good stuff. That’s the pure blood, for this particular vampire.

4. Trump is dying to be in that room, in a tuxedo, holding court and watching the grimacing faces of every important media figure in America as he lays waste to their sad attempts to take him down. But he can’t. Because, first of all, he is an absolutely terrible joke deliverer, as his Al Smith Dinner speech proved beyond the shadow of a doubt. And second, because he’s a wimp who can’t take the heat. Bill Clinton attended this event at the height of the Lewinsky scandal, for goodness sake. Trump is scared, and once he realized things weren’t going to go his way, he did what wimps do: he wimped out.

5. There is a legitimate argument to be made over whether the WHCD should even exist – it’s kind of gross, and unseemly, and certainly raises questions about whether the press who are supposed to inform the public about the goings-on of its elected officials should be co-opted by hob-nobbing with those self-same officials at a black tie gala. But I kind of like it, because it shows that America has a sense of humor about itself, and that its leaders can take a punch and laugh it off. It’s an event that reminds us how lucky we are not to have a thin-skinned dictator running the country – the kind of tyrant who throws people in jail for criticizing him. The problem is, we now have one of those thin-skinned dictators in power. He can’t throw everyone in jail for making fun of him, so he’s doing the next-best thing: he’s taking his ball and going home.

Remember the Promise, Carl Grimes.

A/N: I made another one! I hope you guys like it as much as you have the last ones!

Summary: The reader and Carl are in a “no strings attached” kind of relationship that is as complicated as can be. Due to the disapproval of the reader’s mother they’ve been sneaking around for quite some time. Despite efforts to stop it, they both feel it turning into something more.

(Flashbacks in italics)

Word Count: 15,247

Keep reading

GOT7 Receiving Oral

Mark: Get loud. Mark loves to hear you as you’re eating him. He also loves a showcase of your body so he’ll push you over the back of the sofa or recliner and walk around to the front, cock in hand. From this position, he can look down at your face to watch you take him or explore your body that’s bent for him. He can also take charge at any point in this position and he absolutely loves that. Mark can be greedy when it comes to oral, he wants you to pull out all the stops for him. Moaning around him, slurping, using your hands, not neglecting his balls. So really have fun with everything you can do. Mark doesn’t want you to be the one to make all the noise. he’d love to dirty talk you so you move harder or take more of him. “Fuck, baby girl. You like that, don’t you? You like taking all of my cock.” “Shit. Such a good girl.” “Just like that, baby girl. Ah. You’ve got it. Just like that.”

Jaebum: Imagine, You’re at a showcase with Jaebum and your hand has been kneading the inside of his thigh for most of the night. It had become a distraction for you, playing with his leg. You liked the way it felt. Then, Jaebum is standing up and asking you to come with him. He’s still, calm even as he walks you away from people but as soon as you’re out of sight he grabs your arm. You look at his face as his eyes darken and he leads you into a room. He lets go of your arm to close the door and lock it, maybe even putting something against it. He turns to you. “Get on your knees.” He demands as he loosens his tie. Fuck. Jaebum loves to be rough. To hear you gag is to hear him groan. Rest assured that both of his hands will be in your hair. Controlling your quick movements. Your hands will be on his pelvis or holding onto his thighs for support. He loves when you whine around his size and may very well pull your hair if wants eye contact. 

Jackson: You want Jackson to believe you’re the best he’ll ever have? Put him into multiple positions while you’re sucking him off. Jackson is in need of constant attention and his attention span can be short at times. So moving him around and playing with his flexibility will leave him very touched and sleepy. Any positions where he can knead or spank your ass are his favorites but don’t neglect his body. Jackson loves to be worshiped, almost as much as he loves to worship you. Keep a hand on his side or stomach. Kneading and scratching at his skin. Talk to him, ask him if he likes what your doing or guide him into the newest position. Jackson might have a bit of a hard time controlling his hips but he’ll always ask if you’re okay or after, when you guys are laying in each others arms he’ll ask; “Did I hurt you?” And then before you fall asleep he’ll kiss your neck sweetly and say he loves you.

Jinyoung: God! Jinyoung loves to watch you as you take him. His hands will be still at his sides until you’ve earned his touch. His mouth will be closed as he groans against his lips. His eyes will be on you, as you suck him and bob on him and taste him. Jinyoung doesn’t need eye contact while you’re doing your thing, but he would like it. {Suck Tip!} If you’re wanting to taste him but you don’t know how to tell him, grab some kitten ears and a lace lingerie set. Walk up simi-close to him if he’s on the sofa, his eyes will be on you instantly girl. Trust. Now get on your knees and wait for him to speak. “Did you miss me, Kitten”  “Hmm?” “Then come to me.” He loves having you when you’re on your knees and he’s standing so if he wants more he can hold the back of your head and step closer. 

Youngjae: S l o w . Youngjae wants you to take your time with him. “Ah, Y/N. If you-u keep moving that quick I-I’ll…” His breathing will be heavy and he’ll have no reserves when it comes to letting out his soft moans and groans. One of Youngjaes hands will be in your hair, feeling your movements and guiding you if you need it. The other hand will be in his hair or under his head. He likes to turn his head into his arm if he feels like he might get too loud. Youngjae loves for you to suck him while he’s laying down. This way he can hug the pillows if he needs to. Don’t be alarmed when he says things like “Ah, Y/N. Don’t tease me too much.” he likes it. He likes being teased. Enjoy him fully. Massage his thighs, kiss his tip, lick his veins, pet his dick. Enjoy each one of his beautiful moans. 

Bambam: Kunpimook would truly love to spice up oral, so he’ll tie a piece of cloth around your eyes before you go to your knees or experiment with your breathing as you suck on his tip. He won’t have too much trouble controlling his hips, but he will be very vocal about wanting more if and exactly when he wants more.”Oh, shit. Do that again, baby. Ah.”  “Oh, that feels so good. Don’t stop. Don’t stop, baby.” At the start, he’ll have his hands under his head, a cocky smirk on his lips. In the middle, he’ll start reaching for things, you’ll feel him shifting as he grabs the arm of the chair or pulls at his own hair. Towards the end, when he’s officially needy. He’ll have both hands in your hair, pulling you onto him as he moans about how good you’re doing. Kunpimook also loves the look of his cum on your face. Especially if you’re wearing a blindfold. So if you don’t feel like swallowing just pull up and let your hand go crazy. 

Yugyeom: Yugyeom always wants oral. Like, even if he hasn’t told you. He wants you suck him off. The boy dreams about your mouth. When he does tell you though, and you don’t immediately go for it, he’ll be super whiny about it. I’ll give you a dialogue:

“Y/N, please?” 

“What do you want, baby?”

‘I told you~”

“What was it again?”

“Y/N!!”

Just don’t tease him too much, because this boy is a Switch! Yugyeom can control his hips surprisingly well, at least until his thighs start shaking and he gets impatient. He can also take some teasing so make sure to put that in there. Like, it will get to the point of anything being up for grabs if you just give him what he wants. He’ll let you tie him up if you promise to suck him off. So cuff him and start moving real slow, baby. Until his arms are shaking from how hard he’s pulling against the headboard, make him beg. “Y/N..Y/N..Please! Ah, shit! Baby, please. Please - I-Agh…” He’ll be sweating and arching and a sexy fucking mess just for you. 

EMOJI REVIEWS: Man in Business Suit Levitating: Moderate Brown Skin Tone

one of the band kids from your high school hovers past, somehow tap dancing while also hovering. he is not very good at it, but look at the funnyman go. 6/10

one of the hot music majors from your college hovers past, except he is actually good at tap dancing. very good. wow. what a blessing. 9/10

you’re at a bar and you accidentally bump into a voidcaster’s elbow and a hole in the fabric of time appears. this man yells at you through it, “take the key, abernethy,” but he doesn’t hand you a key. 4/10

this man will walk into your life apropos of nothing when you are at your worst, take you to the laundromat and play you a sax solo so blue that you will cry in spite of you. he is experienced in matters of sex, drugs, and rock and/or roll, and should be regarded with extreme caution… i know when he comes for you, you will fall for him anyway, you will think that you can keep your heart guarded, but at six a.m. when you are thinking of pancakes at the end of a sentimental coke-and-viagra binge, you will fail. 8/10

damn daddy… wyd… 9/10… i want this emoji to tie me up in a car trunk and bury me alive

uhhh this guy looks like he wants to try to sell me a car insurance policy but he’s wearing sunglasses so he doesn’t have to admit his briefcase is full of the day’s catch from yesterday’s fishing trip because he lied to his wife about taking the day off yesterday and his briefcase is the only place he can hide things from her and it’s starting to smell but he thinks he’s read enough self help/sales books to steer the conversation away from his fish-briefcase using the sheer, raw power of his body language. 0/10

oh hey this is a cool guy, really great dude, you should meet him, he just sold me some insurance at a low price that can’t be beat. and he even threw in a free organic rainbow trout! 10/10

this is the man that collects your soul and ferries you across the river styx in death. truly marriage material. what a keeper. 10/10

FTM Passing Tips #2

Please excuse my poor humor (;

(Short dude problems)
I am with you, brother. Here are some tips for my homies:

- Shirts and pants with vertical stripes make you appear taller. Just don’t stand next to tall titan people.

- Tighter pants makes your legs look thinner, therefore making you look taller.  

- Nothing wrong with being short. You could land some clothes in the boys department. I found my favorite Avengers shirt in that section. 

- Creepers/platform shoes are so rad, man. They add a few centimeters to your height and look hella punk rock.

- Jackets and coats that cover your bunbuns are comfy, but they make you look short. Maybe you can add a pair of creepers and a beanie and call yourself a tall punk rock homie.

- If you find a pair of pants that are too long, you can fold the bottoms up.


More tips:

- Make sure your shirt collar isn’t too loose around your neck. Tightening your bowtie or tie might help make your collar shirt appear more of a good fit on you. But be careful not to tighten it too much.

- CHEATING BOWTIE TRICK: I used to sew bows for my sisters to put in their hair, and I had some leftovers without bobby pins. I had an idea to use a string and tie the bow around my neck as a ghetto bowtie and it looked like a fine ass bowtie. Search up “bow no sew tutorial”. 

After making a bow, just pull a string that’s long enough to tie around your neck comfortably through that little middle loop and tuck the tied string ends under you collar shirt. Tadahhh $5 or less bowtie :D

- Longer vests hide them curvy hips, bruh.

- Trench coats are nice. Makes you feel like a badass fallen angel (;

- Fixing the seams of your clothes can help make a better fit for your body. You can even take old, baggy clothes and resew them as new ones.

- TWEEEEEED. Tweed is good. Makes you look like a polished gentleman. 

- Newsboy hats are pretty swell. Easy fix for a bad hair day. 

- Caps and snapbacks are cool too. 

- There are several makeup tutorials on making yourself look more masculine. Just Google “crossplay” or “ftm” makeup. The main tips are to contour your jawline, nose, cheekbones, neutralize the color of your lips a little with a dab of concealer, and fill in your eyebrows. 

- *Morgan Freeman’s voice* OLD SPICE.

- A pair of oxford and chukka shoes can take you far with most outfits. Yes, even in pjs and sweats. Just watch out for the fashion police. 

- Binders are awesome and will flatten your chest.
DON’T USE ACE BANDAGES NO NO NO
And don’t get a cheap $10 binder from China on Amazon if you plan to wear one daily. I bought one, but the material was not elastic. I rarely wear it. But it works fine if you’re cosplaying.

- Sport bras are a good substitute for binders. The ones designed to compress breasts are even better.

- Socks can get you a male yoohoo bulge. And it’ll keep your yoohoo warm during the cold winter! It’s like a sweater for your yoohoo! Oh my god, I’m never getting a date…

- Watches are great. But POCKETWATCHES, MMM YAS

- Polo shirts look good. Darker colored polos will help hide your chest.

- KNITTED SWEATERSasdfgljkklhsda;

- You can get a lot of male clothes from WalMart or Target. Don’t underestimate Walmart’s clothing selections. You can get work out gear, Hanes or Fruit of the Looms boxers, briefs, superhero t-shirts for less than $10, plain t-shirts, basically a whole wardrobe at these two stores. So instead of going to GAP and spending half of your rent on a few things, you can probably get a cartload of clothes and stop by for a dvd and some snacks at Walmart. 

- If you want to start a new wardrobe, buy simple and neutral-colored clothes first. It’s easier to mix and match black, white, gray, beige, and navy blue colored pants and shirts together than say, green, mahogany, red, and light blue. 

- Check out minimal fashion. It’s simple and uses basic colors for each outfit, usually black and white. 

- H & M has a wide variety of nice-looking clothes. I would say it has a better quality and designs compared to Forever 21.

- If you’re too lazy or shy to shop around at the mall, try online shopping. 

- If you’re buying cheap t-shirts or any other clothing on Ebay or Amazon, MAKE SURE TO CHECK THE REVIEWS. I ordered a design t-shirt from China a few months back but it has never been shipped to me.

- AND WATCH OUT FOR THE SIZES. Check your measurements. Asian clothings are mostly one size smaller. Not all sizes are universal. A small size for males can be a medium for females. I bought a coat online WHICH IS PRETTY RISKY that was a size small but ended up being too big for me. Ended up Christmas gifting it for my dad.

- Barbershops are better for male haircuts than hair salons, or so I’ve heard.

- LONG HAIR CAN BE MANLY. PULL OFF A MAN BUN. KEEP IT DOWN AND LOOK LIKE A LEAD GUITARIST FOR A DEATH METAL BAND. TIE IT IN A LOW PONYTAIL, PUT ON A PAIR OF AVIATOR GLASSES AND A SUIT, AND VOILA YOU LOOK LIKE A BADASS HITMAN

Thank you guys for all the notes on my 1st FTM tips post. I felt that I’ve done good and offered a helping hand to people. You guys take care (’ v ’)/


*****

And here’s some more recent tips:

- Guys usually stick their chests outward and keep their shoulders back rather than hunch over. This posture would help boast your confidence.
- If you want to start working out but are afraid of working out in a public gym, find a work-out buddy to support you or exercise at home with free weights. USE YOUR SURROUNDINGS. TEXTBOOKS CAN BE USED AS FREE WEIGHTS. BENCHPRESS YOUR ELECTRIC GUITAR.
- Be careful when working out while wearing your binder. You may have to take longer breaks. If it helps, wear your binders a tad bit looser.
- Pick up dancing, martial arts, tennis, rock climbing, swimming, or any form of physical exercise to keep your body and brains healthy.
- When you’re coming up with a work-out plan, balance out cardio and weight-training days. You have to do cardio to help you tone your body.
- Some foods can help you lower your estrogen levels and increase your testosterone. Here are some: tuna, oysters, egg yolk, cabbage, asparagus, garlic, bananas, almonds.
- Lean your head back. Take a deep breath. Now exhale. You got this, man. Don’t worry. You look great.
- DONT LET NOBODY TELL YOU THAT THE STUFF YOU DO MAKES YOU LOOK FEMININE LIKE WTF GUYS CAN USE MAKEUP GUYS CAN KNIT AND COOK AND WEAR HIGH CROP TOPS THERE ARE NO SUCH THING AS GENDER LABELS DO WHAT YOU FEEL BE WHO YOU ARE AND FUCK ANYBODY WHO DENIES YOUR IDENTITY BECAUSE THE ONLY THING THATS INVALID IS THEIR FUCKING IGNORANCE

Clark’s Niece - Part 6

So I don’t know if I used the right term but here they are!

Umayri - My Prince (That’s what Google Translate told me!!)

Amira - Princess

———-

When you wake up the next day you feel more refreshed than you have in a long time. Damian is curled around you, fast asleep, and you wonder why you woke up. When the door clicks shut you have your answer. Quickly wriggling out of Damian’s hold you quickly head out to the living room.

“Uncle Lex?” You whisper

“In here, Y/N” He takes a sip of his coffee, “So you two made up”

“Yeah, we did. I love him, Uncle Lex. I love him so much that it hurts. I don’t know how I would ever survive without him”

Lex sighs, “He and I are going to have a talk on how to treat you, darling. I expect him to ask permission to take you out on a date, and be aware that when you do go out, I will be watching you, and if he hurts you, I will hurt him”

There’s a hoarse chuckle from the door, “I thought that we were over that, dad. I don’t really like to get shot, so I would appreciate it if you kept the injuries to a minimum.”

As Kon walks by he drops a kiss onto the top on your head, and you gently squeeze his arm. It’s practically a morning ritual, a show of affection and love between the two cousins. “Sit down, Kon. I’ll get your coffee, you shouldn’t even be up, you know.”

Conner flops into a chair and Lex fusses, making sure he didn’t pull any stitches. While Lex is a supervillain, and the cause of a lot of problems, he is also one of the most caring people you know. “Try not to strain yourself, son. I don’t want to have to take you back into surgery”

“Come on, dad! You know I can’t miss out on your famous coffee! It’s like the best stuff in the whole country!”

Lex chuckles, “I know, son. I would have brought you a cup”

Kon wrinkles his nose, “No way! You drink yours black! And you never add enough sugar to mine!”

Uncle Lex rolls his eyes, “You’re lucky you aren’t human, or you would have diabetes by now!”

Conner grins, raising his cup in a mock toast, “To my non-human biology!”

An hour later Damian and Clark stumble into the kitchen and get coffee. You walk over and press a kiss to Damian’s cheek, “Morning, Umayri”

“Good morning, Amira”

Uncle Clark groans, “Now they have cute nicknames for each other”

“Leave them alone, Kal. You’re the one who argued with Bruce just to get them back together. I don’t think I’ve even seen Batman nervous until then”

After breakfast, Damian approaches Lex when Y/N, Kon and Kal went out for a fly. “Mr. Luthor, I would like to have a word with you”

“Of course, Mr. Wayne. What can I do for you?”

Damian clears his throat, “I would like your permission to ask Y/N on a date”

Lex leans forward, “And why are you asking me instead of Clark?”

“I already have the approval of both Clark and Connor Kent. The only one I do not have it from is you, Mr. Luthor”

“I would like you to call me Lex, Damian”

Damian nods, “Of course … Lex.”

“I will give you permission to date my niece, on one condition”

“Name it”

“I want you to treat her like she is a princess. I want you to worship her, to love her in every way she deserves. I want you to make her happy. Do you think you can do that, Damian?”

Damian grinned, “I would have her no other way, Lex. All I want is for Y/N to be happy”

“One more thing, Damian … I want to walk Y/N down the aisle at your wedding”

Damian chuckled, “That is not my decision to make, however I will put in a good word for you”

Lex chuckles, “Yes, do that. We both know that Y/N will not be told what to do, so the decision is hers to make”

When you get back to Uncle Lex’s penthouse you can hear Damian laughing. “No! That can’t be THE Superman!”

Lex’s laugh joined Damian, “Oh yes it is! And he didn’t even know how to tie the tie, I had to do it for him!”

“I still can’t believe you hit him with your car!”

Uncle Clarks’ eyes widened in horror, “Oh no” he takes off, sprinting down the stairs, “Alexander Luthor! You put that book away right now!”

You and Conner glance at each other before you take off after Clark, “Don’t you do it Uncle Lex! I want to see the pictures too!”

“NO!!!” Clark shouts, “How did you even get those pictures!?!”

“Martha gave them to me of course.”

“Aw, no, Ma!”

Lex chuckles again, “You were such a cute kid, Clark, I don’t know how you turned into what you are now”

You roll your eyes at you uncles antics. Those two fight like they really are siblings instead of enemies.

“Y/N? Will you come with me for a moment?”

You glance up from your book, “Sure, Dami” You float behind him, holding onto Damian’s shoulders, letting him pull you along like he always does, “What’s up?”

“I had a conversation with Lex today, Beloved.”

You cock your head, “You did?”

“Yes, and he gave me his permission to do this”

Damian pulls out a ring, and goes down on one knee, “Dami …?”

“I know we are young, and that we aren’t ready to get married yet, but I love you. I love you more than I ever thought I could love a single person, and I want you to be mine. Will you promise to marry me one day, when we are ready? Will you promise that you will always be mine?”

Tears streak down your face and you nod your head frantically, “Yes, yes, Dami! Of course I will! I love you so much! Yes!”

Damian slides the black opal ring onto your finger, and stands up. You fling your arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I love you, Beloved”

“And I love you, Dami. I’ll love you forever”

He leans his forehead against yours, just breathing you in, relishing this moment. He runs his thumb over the ring now on your finger. They two of you stand there for who knows how long before you decide to go inside.

“Dami?”

“Yes, Beloved”

“You get to tell Jason”

Damian groans, tugging you into one more kiss, “Of course, Beloved”

“He’ll probably try to beat you up”

Damian kisses your nose and you run your fingers gently through his hair, “I would deserve it for hurting you, my love”

“Don’t worry, I won’t let him hurt you. I won’t let anyone hurt you anymore”

“I will fight for you every day, Beloved. I will show you my love for you every day to make up for any pain that I have caused you”

“And I will forgive you every day, and every time you hurt me again. I love you”

“I love you too, Amira”

———-

That’s what I was picturing when I wrote about the Promise Ring!!

🔮 PREPARING A LITHOMANCY SET 🔮

Lithomancy – the practise of divination through casting stones and reading how they fall – is one of the most ancient and (in my opinion) effective divining methods out there, as well as costing nothing to set up and being something you can completely teach yourself and make your own. I recently went on a trip to an incredible and magical beach where I collected an array of exceptional rocks, pebbles, shells and fossils for this purpose, so I thought I’d make a long post on creating and preparing a kit.

GATHERING

🔮 First of all – they need not be stones, or all be stones, although the name “lithomancy” refers specifically to stones. Some cast with bones, or sticks, or shells. Some cast with whatever the hell they can find at the time. Use whatever speaks to you.

🔮 It will feel more organic to find your stones out in their natural habitat, preferably in a place that you feel a connection with, but it’s okay to purchase. The most important thing is that the set is personalised to you and that each piece of it has been chosen by you, connected to you, for a reason. Even if that reason isn’t immediately clear – it doesn’t have to be yet. Assignation will happen later.

🔮 You should use a level of instinctive guidance to find your casting stones. Perhaps you’ve even been gathering them already, drawn to them and bringing them home with you – don’t rule out stones and bits and bobs already in your possession.

🔮 Take a moment for every potential casting stone you pick up. Hold it in your hand, roll it around, look at it, think on it, get a feel for it. Start to form a picture of what it may contribute to a divination. Keep what you can’t bear the thought of throwing away. Discard everything else.

CLEANSING

🔮 First of all, a physical cleaning. Nothing too harsh – you don’t want to damage the stones or scrub them raw. (For bones and the like though, research and follow good hygiene practises accordingly. Also recommended: the law.) Generally I find a shortish soak in some warm saltwater effective enough. A light sponging to get rid of any mud, sand, etc, if there is any. Apply common sense.

🔮 Then comes the more metaphysical cleansing. Depending on your practise, you could also consecrate or bless them. Some ideas: passing through incense or smoke, cleansing with blessed/spiritually purified or charged water (you could combine this with the physical cleaning), put into a grid with cleansing crystals, using bells/sound, and personally I’ve been using sunlight to cleanse as well as charge mine.

ASSIGNATION

🔮 Set aside some time, fire up the incense, get some mood music on, ground and centre and get yourself in a good headspace. Ideally you’ll also have a nice cleansed and moody space to carry out the assignation process. This will be when you give each of your stones/objects a ‘meaning’, similar to each Tarot card having its own set of meanings and associations, or the runes that some cast. But stones are more free-form and intuitive, and the meanings are discerned and given only by you.

🔮 What you’ll be doing is almost like meditating with each of your stones. Pick up the ones that speak strongly to you first, maybe the ones that you already have some idea of their meaning – these will be the easiest to assign meanings to.

🔮 The physical appearance of the stone is a good starting point. Make sure to have a good inspection of each one. Then, enclose it in your hand and close your eyes. Feel the life inside of the stone and what it says to you. Tell it what its name and meaning is – whisper it aloud into the stone if you must. Make contact. Make sure it’s working in accord with you.

🔮 The easiest way to note down these meanings for you to memorise is to set out a piece of paper or two, and once you know what a stone means, lay it down on the piece of paper and write underneath it the name, meanings and associations. This gives you a sort of physical ‘key.’ Taking a photo of the paper spread/s once it’s done will act as a handy cheat sheet.

🔮 You’ll want a nice, rounded-out set of associations in order to give your divination depth and reach. Some traditions suggest using the different planets (and their associations) for the stones, and other simple suggestions might be elements, deities, past/present/future, etc. There are some out there that suggest a lithomancy set must contain a certain number of stones and they must have certain fixed meanings, but my opinion is that using your own intuition will make it more powerful for you. Plus, most of these traditions I could find were western European in origin, which obviously isn’t where all of our practises are from anyway. Research your traditions or make your own meanings – it’s all down to you.

CHARGING

🔮 There are a ton of resources on charging out there, and you’ll likely learn or already know best what works for you. This is a good, simple post on it for beginners. My favourite method is charging by sunlight, not only because it’s simple but because of how it falls into my belief system too.

🔮 Some suggestions: sunlight, moonlight, starlight, charged crystals and crystal grids, water of various properties (rain, storm, sea), laying out on grass or soil or tree roots or in herb planters, bones (bone grid?) and feathers and such…

PRACTISE

🔮 After taking some time to familiarise yourself with your set and its meanings, it’s time to begin practising. Just chuck ‘em! Start off by doing readings for and about yourself. Get a feel for your set and how it speaks. This is also the time to make adjustments to the meanings of some of the stones, or add new associations.

🔮 You’ll also want to start putting together your pre-divination rituals. A cleanse and a charge, a bit of grounding with incense, a hearty meal, a word with your ancestors? What works for you will become clear with practise.

🔮 In terms of the reading itself: make note of the shape that they have fallen in. The stones that are close together, and the ones that are far apart. Any that line up or form a shape. Some like to use a “self” stone or object that they can use to orient the reading around.

🔮 Some don’t cast all of their stones in one reading – I don’t. You can pick relevant stones for readings that are more specific, or just grab a random handful of stones from a bag and use those. That way, which stones are ‘drawn’ will tell you something all by itself. Change up how you cast and read during your practise period, try every method you can think of. Get creative!

🔮 I don’t think casting stones is good for yes/no answers personally, but did find this quick tip: pick a stone to mean yes/positive, and one to mean no/negative. Pick a ‘self’ stone or object. Cast them. Whichever one lands closest to the ‘self,’ there’s your answer.

🔮 I don’t know if I will, but you may also want to look into creating and incorporating a casting grid. These are shape and charts (usually on cloth) that you can cast upon, and act as a ‘map’ so that stones landing in certain quadrants will let you know what that particular stone is relevant to.

UPKEEP

🔮 Over time you can add to, take away from and generally change up your lithomancy set – what you pick to start off with isn’t the end all, be all. The best divination sets will change and become more attuned to you over time.

🔮 I tie my stones up in a square of batik fabric when not using them, and also use the fabric to cast upon. Simple, neat, effective.

🔮 Remember to keep on cleansing and charging your set as required.

Messy

Pairing: Baker!Bucky x Reader
Summary: You bake Bucky a cake 
A/N: Okay so I’m somewhat addicted to writing this pairing as you can probably tell haha! Anyway, this is part of a series called The Sweetest Thing!  and I hope you enjoy it. Come let me know what you think! 
Word count : 574

Why on earth did you think this was a good idea? Your husband was the baker, not you. Here you were five months pregnant with what looked like the whole pantry on the counter. “I can do this” you whisper to yourself, glancing at the clock on the wall. Four hours. Four hours until Bucky got back. You tie the apron around your belly, and put your hair up so it’s out of the way before reaching for Bucky’s recipe journal.

Keep reading

Title: Five Times III

Summary: Five times you almost told Matt Murdock you loved him and the one time you did

Word Count: 1139

A/N: TWO THINGS. I love Matt Murdock. I love this series. OKAY I hope you enjoy!! <3

PART 1
PART 2

PART 4

PART 5

PART 6

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

If it's not too much, can you do some pick lines that the class 1-A would use on their s/o? If it's too many, you can choose whichever! Thank you, bab!

(YAS! It is my time to shine! Time for cringe.)

Yuuga Aoyama:

  • Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material. 
  • Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror, probably for himself tho)

Mina Ashido:

  • I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
  • Do you believe in love at first sight or should I just walk by again?  

Tsuyu Asui:

  • I find you to be quite ribbiting.
  • I think we’d be toadally adoribbitble together!

Tenya Iida:

  • You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line. 
  • Your legs must be tired, because you have been running through my mind all day.

Ochaco Uraraka:

  • Even if there wasn’t gravity on earth, I’d still fall for you. 
  • If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand.

Mashirao Ojiro:

  • I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way. 
  • Forget about Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. I’ll be your man.

Denki Kaminari:

  • My love for you burns like a Charizard’s tail. 
  • If I were a Milktank, I’d use ATTRACT on you. 

Eijiro Kirishima:

  • Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears! 
  • Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you. 

Kouji Kouda:

  • I must be a snowflake, ‘cause I’m falling for you.
  • If I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you

Rikido Satou:

  • Are you candy? ‘Cause you’re giving me a sugar rush.
  • Did you sit on a pile of sugar? ‘Causre your ass is sweet.

Mezou Shouji:

  • I’m no organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart 
  • You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

Jirou Kyoka:

  • Call me AC/DC, because I’m gonna rock you all night long! 
  • Your voice is so a-do-re-ble to mi.

Sero Hanta:

  • Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling
  • Do you like Nintendo? Because Wii would look good together. 

Fumikage Tokoyami:

  • Your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.

Shouto Todoroki:

  • Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile. 
  • If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizard.

Tooru Hagakure:

  • My love for you is like the wind. You can’t see it, but you can feel it.
  • If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Katsuki Bakugo:

  • Let me tie your shoes, cause I don’t want you falling for anyone else. 
  • Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.

Izuku Midoriya:

  • Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
  • Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite.    

Momo Yaoyorozu:

  • You look so familiar… didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry. 
  • When I first saw you I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one.
Angel Boy

Cas x Reader//Smut

Warnings: NSFW, Rough Sex, Getting Caught (kind of?), Unprotected Sex, Teasing/Calling Names

Summary: You know that Castiel likes you as you’d overheard him tell the boys, but he won’t act on it. You tease him by calling him “Angel Boy”, a name he doesn’t like. Castiel decides to confront you about this, which leads to an interesting demand from you.

Author’s Note: On my last home visit I got my wisdom teeth out and read a lot of fan fiction when recovering- I noticed Cas rolling his eyes and being sassy was a trend, as well as sarcastic sex- so I was inspired to write this. 


Originally posted by love-untiltheresnoloveleft

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been continuously teasing Castiel. After having heard him admit to Sam and Dean a few weeks ago that he always got a weird feeling around me which he didn’t quite understand fully- to which the boys later confessed what he was describing was ‘Love’- I decided that I’d try to see where I could take this little love interest.

I’d been wearing clothes that I thought I looked especially cute or hot in whenever I knew Castiel was going to be around; I would purposefully button a few of the top buttons of my flannel so he could get a ‘good view’ of my cleavage when we were researching. I also made sure to put in lots of touch, considering that I knew Castiel wasn’t much of a ‘touchy-feely’ kind of guy; he never had many interactions with humans before meeting Sam and Dean-according to what they tell me- so he was a little more socially awkward when it came to the hugs, or handshakes. Whenever we would pass by one another I would ‘accidentally’ brush my hand against his, or reach for the same book or object when doing research in the bunker. My touch seemed to always startle him, making him seem wearier and almost electrocuted when it’d happen, even if only for a split second.

Keep reading

Caught by the Beast

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Smut
Rating: Mature
Written by xoxoTheQueenOfHearts

WARNING:: TeacherxStudent au

You walked into your university building with even more enthusiasm than usual. When your gorgeous, ex-Military professor, Mr. Jeon had asked to see you in his office, you knew today was the day. You were going to seduce him.

You thought this carefully, going back to your dorm and changing into something more provocative that was until you got to his office.

“Come in”, he said while standing up in response to your knock. You looked at him, still astounded that he was your professor.

Standing at 6'6, with broad shoulders and visible muscle bulges, he was a force to be reckoned with. Add that to a deep voice that you just knew could growl, and you wanted to climb him like you were starving and the last banana was in his pants.

“Yes Mr. Jeon, You said you wanted to see me after your office hours?” You asked him, confused but excited to be as close to alone as you could be in a university building.

“Come in and close the door.” He said nonchalantly.

You closed it and sat down, waiting for him to tell you why you were called here so late in the day.

“We have to talk about your recent class performance. I have noticed some… new behavior from you and I wanted to have a chat.” He started as he glanced at you.

You blushed, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

You were sure your roommate had noticed your longer showers or you going to bed early, but you needed some way of relieving your stress!

Masturbating was fine at first, but now you needed the real thing. You guessed you weren’t keeping your obvious attraction to him as subtle as you had thought.

“While I am lecturing, I have noticed you staring at me several times. More specifically, staring at my crotch. I am sure you know that this is not professional behavior.” He said in a stern voice.

You couldn’t believe this. Not only did your superhot professor catch you staring at the outline of his dick through his pants, but now he is talking to you about it. You just blushed harder and looked down, trying to pull your skirt down at the same time. But, he continued.

“Another change I have noticed is your clothing. Look at what you are wearing to this meeting! You like it when I look at you, don’t you?” He taunted at you and you bit your bottom lip.

“Um… what? I am sorry Mr. Jeon… what do you mean?” You rambled stuttering out what to say.

He grabbed your hand and stood you up. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know. I have caught you staring at me all semester. Now you are coming to class in smaller and smaller clothes. I remember when you wore this skirt last week, because I remember the red and white underwear you were wearing.”

You stared at him in shock, your heart beating in your chest. You weren’t sure if you should be embarrassed or aroused. “Oh yes, I look back at you.” He said.

His hand brushed along the side of your face, framing it and brushing the hair out of your eyes. Suddenly he twisted his hand up into your hair, jerking your head back.

“If you wanted me to fuck you, all you had to do was ask. I would have gladly obliged. But since you decided to be a little slut and try and trick me, you are going to have to work for it.” he threatened in a dark tone, his eyes never leaving him, his voice going lower with each sentence.

Your knees felt weak, and you could feel how wet your panties were getting. You could feel your thighs getting slippery. You were sure he could see your nipples poking out through your bra, a thought that was confirmed when he used the hand that wasn’t in your hair to start playing with one.

After a few moments of this, however you learned that you wouldn’t be let off that easy.

“Now, if you want to do this, you will have to follow my rules. You are to either address me as Sir or Professor at all times. You are to do what I tell you. If you do not want to, the word that will make me stop is ‘red’. Do you understand?” His voice darkened but enough to threaten.

“Yes, Sir.” You replied. You still can’t believe this was happening to you!

“Kneel.” was his first command, one that you obeyed enthusiastically. “Let’s see if you are as good as you look.” he said while unbuttoning his pants. He pulled out the most beautiful dick you had ever seen. Starting with a large head, it grew until the base was so thick you had serious doubts about your ability to fit the entirety of him inside you.

You were reaching for it when he moved back. “Today, I want you to only use your mouth.” He instructed.

Starting at the tip, you let your tongue swirl around the head, enjoying the side skin on your lips. Opening your mouth, you explored the veins and ridges with your tongue. His hands reaching into your hair again and told you that he was ready to get down to business.

You opened up wider and started to give the best blowjob of your life. You went as deep as you could go, and then went deeper still, feeling his huge cock fill your throat. When you gagged, he pulled you back and had you concentrate on the tip again until you were ready to try and deep throat him again.

Hearing him swear under his breath told you that you were on the right path. Suddenly, he pulled you off him entirely, leaving you gasping, with your own spit all over your chin.

“That wasn’t half bad, but there is room for improvement. Now, let’s see the rest of your… assets. Take off your shirt but leave the rest on. ” he instructed again.

Still kneeling, you pulled your tee shirt over your head. If you thought your nipples were hard before, they could cut glass now. Between the blowjob, and finally living your fantasy of being on your knees before him with his eyes on your breasts, you thought you were going to faint.

“Stand up,” he commanded, giving you a helping hand. He slowly walked around you as you tried not to fidget. “You are gorgeous.” he breathed, coming back around you.

He cupped your breasts making you catch your breath. “The things I will do to you. I could tell by your cocksucking that you are desperate for good dick. How long has it been since you’ve had sex?” He questioned.

“Six months,” you said, with your head down, ashamed of how long it had been since someone found you attractive.

“That is perfect. I love fucking someone who has been celibate for a while. Go stand in front of the desk.” He instructed.

You rose to your feet and walked the couple of steps till your thighs hit the desk. Your heart pounded with excitement while your pussy was dripping. You knew that your thong was soaked.

“Bend over, and grip the other side of the desk. Now, you will be punished for being a little slut during class. Do you know how many times I had to come here after class and jerk off to you? Thinking of doing exactly…” he trailed off while lifting the back of your skirt. You knew your ass and pussy were exposed and could feel a slight breeze on them. “This.” he said finishing his sentence at the same moment his palm smacked your ass cheek.

SMACK!

You jumped with a little squeal, prompting him to take action. With quick movements, he pulled off his tie and stuffed it in your mouth, muffling any further sounds you might make.

“Good sluts know when they can make noise and when they can’t. Until you can learn, I will have to gag you. Understand?”

You nodded, even more excited. You had dreamt of him bending you over his desk and bringing your ass to a nice cherry red so many times, this felt unreal. Each spank hit a different spot on your ass, until the cheek was red and you could feel the heat it was giving off.

You tried to be a good slut, but you knew that he heard some of your moans.

“Are you sorry for being such a little slut during class?” he asked you while removing his tie from your mouth.

“Yes Sir.” You replied, trying to get some salvia back into your mouth.

“You are going to show me what a good slut you are by taking this cock, understand? I am going to fuck you hard and fast until you cum all over my desk.”

“Oh, god yes please,” You half moaned to him while trying to twist around and make eye contact.

“Face forward!” he growled, pushing your hips into the desk, showing you for the first time the strength he had, how you were totally at his mercy.

Using one finger, he brushed your clit through the panties. Brining his now damp finger to his nose, he said “Hmmm it has been a while. That must be hard for a slut like you. You are thirsty for this cock aren’t you?”

“Yes Sir! Please fuck me. I need this, fuck me like a little slut.” You begged in a moan.

“That’s what I wanted to hear.” he whispered while pulling your thong to the side.

You felt the head of his dick parting your pussy lips, rubbing up and down hitting your clit. You were filled with anticipation, and longing. You never wanted anything in your life the way you wanted his cock buried deep inside you.

Finding the entrance, he pushed. you felt the head enter you and knew you were in for a ride. You had never had a cock that big before and already felt yourself stretching.

“God, you are so fucking tight!” he growled in your ear, pulling out so he could go deeper. It took several strokes to get his entire length inside you. When it was, he just stood there, balls deep letting you get used to him.

“When you said it had been a while, I didn’t know it meant you would be this tight! Or this wet.” he added starting to stroke. While you had been making small moans, you were soon panting.

“Sir, may I have the tie back? I don’t think I can be quiet with you fucking me like this. It is too good to be quiet.” You panted.

“No. You must be quiet or I will stop. And I am just getting started.” he threatened while starting to fuck you faster. The long, deep strokes were driving you wild.

You started biting your lip until you tasted blood. Pounding you with a steady pace, you felt every inch. You felt the veins entering you, and the tip of his dick hitting your cervix.

You were already so close to cumming, but you wanted to make it last. You felt his balls slapping your clit as he pounded you harder, grunting with each stroke.

“Oh FUCK,” he gasped as you felt his stroke falter.

“Please, Sir, cum on my ass.” You moaned while letting the building pleasure rock your body as you came, gushing on his dick and biting your hand.

With a final thrust, he pulled out and let strand after strand of cum fall all over your red ass and skirt. He remained standing behind you and you were afraid to move. “You can stand up now,” he said, catching his breath.

Concept: Raymond, being the sports nut that he is, calls a truce so he can participate in the Plazalympics (everyone was against it but KO brought them around). During the course of the event Raymond and Rad develop their rivalry further and soon they care less about coming in first and more about beating each other. It’s the last event and they’ve been pretty neck and neck so far, so they make a bet to spice things up.

Rad: “If I win, you have to stop attacking the plaza for a whole week.”

Raymond: “I think I can work that out with Lord Boxdad. If I win however… you have to kiss me.”

Rad: “…. wh-WHAT?!”

The final event’s gonna start soon, so Rad doesn’t have a lot of time to ponder why Raymond would even want to kiss him… or whether or not that would even be a punishment. 

Raymond: “If you’re so sure you’re gonna lose you don’t have to take the bet.”

Rad accepts, they compete and it’s a tie. 

Rad: “So I guess that mean’s the bet’s o-MPH.” Raymond gives Rad a short kiss.

Raymond: “See you in a week.” 

He flies off with a sly grin, leaving behind a dumbfounded Rad.

Counter Act

Spencer x reader

Flood warning

“I’m drunk!“

“Kinda gathered that Pen. When you started hounding Reid to play strip poker it kinda gave the game away,” you laughed at your best friend, trying to push her into the back of the cab Reid had hailed.

“I don’t know where my keys are… I’s losted em.”

“Yep,” you fastened her seat belt. “That’s why you’re staying in my spare room remember sweetie.”

The cabbie turned around, “If she vomits, there’s a $100 soiling charge.”

You nodded waving a plastic bag at him, you had it covered. You and Spencer climbed in on either side of your wasted colleague. You lived in the same direction so he was gonna help you get her to yours and carry on home in the same cab.

The driver set off, Garcia rambling incoherently before passing out on your shoulder.

“How is it that it’s Morgans fault she’s this pissed, but we get stuck making sure she gets home safely,” you looked over at your friend.

“Because Morgans’s the only one that can handle Rossi when he’s wasted. I think we got the easy end of the deal,” he laughed back at you. “She’s drooling on your shoulder by the way.”

“Yep, I can feel it,” you grimaced.

The taxi pulled up outside your house ten minutes later, you shaking Garcia awake.

“No, no no, sleep,” she mumbled as you fiddled with her seat belt and climbed out of the taxi, tugging her with you. She wouldn’t budge.

“Spence….. I think you’re gonna need to come in with us, I’m not gonna be able to get her up the stairs by myself. I’ll call you another cab later or your can crash on the couch.”

He shrugged, paying the driver and hopping out of the other side.

Between the two of you, you managed to drag Penelope inside and push her up the stairs to your spare room.

“Spencer! You’re soooo pretty Spencer. Our little boy genius,” she kept grabbing at his tie much to his amusement as you unbuckled her heels and pulled down the cover to the bed.

“You just need to loosen up a little…. ” she’d managed to completely unravel his tie now it hanging loose at the sides of his neck. “Y/N you think he’s pretty don’t you. She’s told me….. ”

“Sleep Garcia,” you covered her up, placing a glass of water and some advil on the bedside table. She started snoring before you’d even closed the door, and you led Spencer down your stairs to your kitchen.

He went to call a cab, coming back in a few minutes later. “There’s an hours wait, can I just crash here?” he’d rolled his sleeves back up. They’d come loose in his tussle with Penelope.

“Sure thing. Beer?” you pulled two out of the fridge ready. “I’m not quite ready for sleep yet.”

He took one off you taking a long drink as you leant back against your kitchen counter watching him.

Penelope was right, he really was pretty.

“What?” he clocked you watching him, licking the residue of his beer off his lips.

“Nothing, I was just thinking that I agree with Pen. You are definitely pretty Spence. Pretty hot.” Smooth Y/N, smooth…

His eyebrows shot up in suprise, “What?”

You shrugged, “You’re hot Reid.”

“You think that I’m hot?” Disbelief clouded his voice.

You moved closer to him, taking the beer bottle of his hand and placing it on the counter besides him.

“Yep,” you popped the p. “Especially now, slightly dishevelled, tie hanging loose.”

“Erm, I kinda think you’re pretty too,” he blushed slightly, biting his bottom lip.

It was the lip bite that did it and you reached out grabbing the loose ends of his tie.

“Good, it makes this so much easier,” you tugged hard on the tie ends pulling him towards you, his lips coming down to meet yours.

His mouth crashed onto yours, his hands moving straight to your waist and gripping firmly. You started fumbling with the buttons on his shirt making quick work of opening them.

Tilting your head to the side you flicked your tongue out, dragging it across his lip and feeling them part, his own tongue coming out to meet yours hungrily. Fuck, the boy was a good kisser.

Pressing his body against yours he started walking you backwards until your felt the edge of your kitchen island jabbing into your back. His hands moved to bottom of your top, pushing it up and over your head, your lips breaking contact so you could pull it off.

He stared at you hungrily, taking in the curve of your breasts. Tugging on his tie again you pulled him back down, him hesitating before pressing his lips to yours again, “Are you drunk Y/N?”

“Not in the slightest Spence. We don’t have to do this though if you don’t want to.” Giving him the chance to bow out now.

“No, I do want to. I like you, a lot. I just…. Didn’t want this to be a drunken mistake.”

“I like you too Spencer, have done for a while. Now can you just kiss me again please,” you yanked on the tie now, seeing a grin appear on his face before his lips pressed against yours again, moving faster now.

His hands started roaming up and down your torso, grasping at your skin and making you gasp when his palms skimmed over the cups of your bra. He moved his hands up to your shoulders, pushing down the straps. Your hands found his belt buckle, fumbling with it and then popping open his button and zipper.

Moving his hands to your butt, he crouched slightly picking you up and placing you on your worktop, pushing your skirt up as he went. You locked your legs around his waist pulling him tightly to you, feeling him hard against you.

Reaching his hand between your legs he began massaging over the fabric of your panties, the friction making you cry out. Moving from your mouth he started kissing a wet trail down your neck to your breasts pushing down the cups of your bra as he went. Your hands moved to his hair, tangling in his messy curls as he sucked one of your nipples into his mouth, you feeling it harden instantly as his tongue flicked out against it.

“Fuck Spencer….. ” You moaned as his hand moved faster between your thighs, pushing your underwear to one side so he could caress you, feeling how wet you were. You didn’t want to wait any longer, you needing him now. You untangled your hands from his hair moving them down to his pants and shoving them open and down, hearing his buckle clink on the floor. Gripping his erection you positioned him at your entrance, sliding as close to the edge of your counter as your dared without risking falling off.

He kissed back up to your mouth, before pushing himself into you, a groan leaving his throat as you tightened around him.

“So….. So good Y/N,” your legs locked around his waist he began thrusting, filling you deeper with each move. You gripped the sides of your counter to stop from coming off as his pace increased, his hand slipping back between you to massage and rub at your clit, the sensitive nub already throbbing.

Kissing and licking his neck you stifled your moans as his fingers increased their rubbing, driving you crazy.

“I’m close Y/N, this is too good,” he rasped out, his other hand digging into the curve of your ass.

“Mmmmm I know, just a bit…… Oh fuck.” You’d been about to say harder when he hit your sweet spot deep inside, making you bite down on his shoulder.

A few more thrusts and you felt yourself going light headed, that familiar heat rushing through you. “Spencer, I’m gonna….. Ah…ah, fuck.”

The contractions from your orgasm sent him over the edge too and a few hard, fast pumps later and he moaned the same, long low “fuuuck” as he came.

You held each other panting, your legs loosening their grip on him.

“Wow,” he whispered into your neck.

“I know,” you chuckled back.

“Guys…. Are you done? Can I get another drink now?” You heard a voice from the other side of your kitchen door, you both pulling apart quickly.

“Shit!” You both exclaimed grabbing at your clothes, Garcia pushing the door open seconds later a dirty smirk on her face.

“The kitchen counter….. Nice work genius!”