so i can never wake up

I am so tired. There are no words to describe this feeling of exhaustion, but I’ll try.

It’s knowing that I can physically go out but mentally and emotionally I’m checked out.

It’s this heavy weight in my stomach, weighing me down, keeping me in my head.

It’s this gray area where I’m never really happy or really sad, just awfully apathetic.

It’s wanting to stay in bed all day because nothing else really excites you. There’s no promise in the things that were fun before.

I am so tired. I’d like to wake up, but my emotions are still asleep.

—  Finding a way to wake up.
-K.H.

My dog Chica had a nightmare last night. She doesn’t have them very often but when she does she’ll let out this adorable little howl that startles herself awake. She was a little shaken up about it but after a few snuggles in the hooman bed (usually off limits for doggos) she was happy as can be. After a while she hopped down to her own bed and drifted off into a peaceful pupper snooze. And I thought that was the end of it.

But I had a nightmare too. Now that’s not entirely uncommon, I have them fairly often and they’re something that I’ve gotten used to. But this one was a bad one.

The bad ones are the ones that I don’t wake up from. They’re the ones where my friends or loved ones are hurt in front of me and the only thing I can do is watch and cry and scream in the mad hope that it’s all just some terrible dream. Nothing ever happens to me in these dreams so I’m trapped within until I wake up of my own accord. But tonight was different.

Tonight, I felt something lick my hand and woke up in a cold sweat. There on the side of my bed was Chica, licking my hand and looking up at me with concern. Now I’m not sure how much a dog understands about nightmares and dreams and such, but she’s never woken me up from a nightmare before. I’d like to think that some part of her recognized what I was going through and she just wanted to wake me up to protect me from the scary monsters. I have never been more grateful to have Chica by my side than in that moment.

So I let her hop up on the hooman bed (twice in one night, oh boy!) and after a few snuggles I was happy as can be.

100 Ways to Say ‘I Hate You’

I saw a post about 100 ways to say ‘I love you’, so I thought I’d make the anti-version if it doesn’t exist already. Roleplayers, send these to each other for angst reasons! Tw for emotional abuse, language, and some major rejection themes, though some  them are joking and could be used for friendly rivals or pals who play-insult one another. Change or add pronouns as necessary.

  1. “You’re a disappointment to me.”
  2. “I don’t care if you live or die.”
  3. “I used to care about you. Now? I regret every second I wasted.”
  4. “How do you think I feel? I’m pissed off!”
  5. “Go. Just go.”
  6. “If you come back, I won’t be here.”
  7. “I’ve never despised someone as much as I despise you.”
  8. “Ha! You think I care about you? What do you think I am, desperate?”
  9. “I regret ever saying ‘hello’.”
  10. “Leave and don’t come back, ever.”
  11. “Remember when we first met? I wish I didn’t.”
  12. “You’re the worst mistake I’ve ever made.”
  13. “Don’t touch me. Don’t even look at me.” “You took months/years of my life away. I’ll never get those back.”
  14. “I saw a trash bag on the side of the road today. Reminded me of you.”
  15. “I could have been doing so much better than wasting my time with you.”
  16. “You’re a sick bastard, you know that?”
  17. “I don’t care.”
  18. “Go ahead, leave. Don’t worry about coming back.”
  19. “You’re such a piece of shit.”
  20. “I didn’t think you could be any more of a shithead, but you just proved me wrong.”
  21. “You’re so stupid.”
  22. “Why do I waste my time with you?”
  23. “You’re not the person I thought you were.”
  24. “Hey! Just a daily reminder: you’re a piece of shit!”
  25. “I deserve so much better.”
  26. “We’re not friends. We were never friends!”
  27. “I pretended to like you because I felt bad for you! How did you fall for that?”
  28. “I never want to see you again.”
  29. “You’ve done nothing but make my life a living hell.”
  30. “Don’t apologize - you don’t deserve my forgiveness!”
  31. “No, I’m never giving you another chance!”
  32. “I wish you were never born.”
  33. “You’re the last person I wanted to see right now.”
  34. “I’d rather be working with anyone else in the whole world right now.”
  35. “When you get back, your shit’s gonna be on the front lawn. Take it and get out.”
  36. “Go ahead, choose them! You deserve each other.”
  37. “I don’t know what they see in you.”
  38. “You’re an embarrassment to me.”
  39. “You’re an embarrassment to all of us.”
  40. “I wish it was you. I wish it was you to die instead of them.”
  41. “God, why did I have to end up working with the biggest asshole in the world?”
  42. “How could you think I ever loved you? You seriously think I’d sink that low?”
  43. “Sorry, I just puked in my mouth a bit. I accidentally looked at your face.”
  44. “How can you even live with yourself?”
  45. “If I was your mirror, I’d break myself just so you would throw me in the trash and I wouldn’t have to look at you.”
  46. “Being with you was the worst time of my life.”
  47. “You’re a monster.”
  48. “Not a day goes by that I don’t wake up wishing I was dead because of you.”
  49. “I’m going to ruin your fucking life.”
  50. “You said you would change, but you never did! You never will!”
  51. “Some people are just born to fail. Sorry you’re one of the unlucky ones.”
  52. “You’re so worthless, you hardly even exist to me.”
  53. “I wish I could go back to the day I met you, and just walk away.”
  54. “If you give me that look one more time, I’m skipping jump-rope with your large intestines.”
  55. “Honestly, I’m embarrassed to even know you.”
  56. “Ugh, it smells like something died in here. Oh. It’s just you.”
  57. “You need to stop. You hurt everyone around you!”
  58. “Until you get your shit together, I don’t want to hear you complain.”
  59. “Look at you. You’re disgusting.”
  60. “Stop making me look bad.”
  61. “You have a face that makes me wish punching people wasn’t frowned upon in our society.”
  62. “Shut your mouth. I don’t want to hear your obnoxious voice.”
  63. “Go play in traffic.”
  64. “Fuck off.”
  65. “If I saw you in the ocean clinging to a log for safety, I’d save the log and let you drown. At least wood can become something useful, like toilet paper.”
  66. “How could I ever love something as terrible and hideous as you?”
  67. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
  68. “It was all a lie.”
  69. “I never loved you, and I never will.”
  70. “Don’t try to beg. It won’t work.”
  71. “You’re not worth the mud on the bottom of my shoes.”
  72. “Look at you. You’re pathetic. I’ve never seen a sadder sight.”
  73. “I’m going to hurt you slowly, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”
  74. “For what you did to them, I’ll do the same to you.”
  75. “An apology? You want to offer an apology? No. I don’t accept it.”
  76. “You’re everything I hate in a person.”
  77. “I wish you were dead.”
  78. “You’re nothing to me. Less than nothing!”
  79. “What a sad sack of shit you are.”
  80. “My life is in fucking shambles thanks to you!”
  81. “How could you? You bastard!”
  82. “I’d rather eat sewage than ever touch you again.”
  83. “Hey asshole, I’m here to ruin your day, just like I did yesterday and the day before that.”
  84. “You’d be more useful if you weren’t even alive.”
  85. “Hey, it’s my least favorite waste of space.”
  86. “Every day that I woke up next to you, I was tempted to smother you with a pillow while you slept.”
  87. “Love you? Don’t make me laugh.”
  88. “Just thinking about you makes me sick to my stomach.”
  89. “You deserve a slow and painful death for what you’ve done.”
  90. “I can’t stand people like you.”
  91. “Stop doing that thing. You know, that thing I hate. Breathing.”
  92. “If I could trade you for a nest of angry wasps, you would be long gone.”
  93. “I can’t wait to dance on your grave.”
  94. “If we were the last two people on earth, I’d be subtracting one.”
  95. “I never want to see the likes of your filth around here again.”
  96. “I’m disgusted by you.”
  97. “Fuck you!”
  98. “If I ever see you again, it will be far too soon.”
  99. “I have three words for you: Burn. In. Hell.”
  100. “I hate you.”
[KOR/ENG LYRICS] Outro: Her by BTS

Korean

The world is a complex
We wus lookin’ for love
나도 그냥 그런 사람들 중 하나였어
진짜 사랑인지 뭔지
믿지도 않으면서
습관처럼 사랑하고 싶다 지껄였던
But I found myself
The whole new myself
나도 헷갈려 대체 어떤 게 진짜 난지
널 만나고 내가 책이란 걸 안 걸까
아님 니가 내 책장을 넘긴 걸까
Damn
어쨌든 난 네게 최고의 남자길 원해
아마 당연해 넌 내게
이 세계 그 자체였기에
죽을 거면 꼭 나와 같이 죽겠다던 때
니가 원하는 내가 되기로
God I swore to myself
So many complex
But I’m lookin’ for love
가짜 나라도 좋아 니가 안아준다면
넌 내게 시작이자 결말 자체니까
니가 날 끝내주라

내 모든 wonder
에 대한 answer
I call you her, her
Cuz you’re my tear, tear

내 모든 wonder
에 대한 answer
I call you her, her
Cuz you’re my tear, tear

어쩌면 나는
너의 진실이자 거짓일지 몰라
어쩌면 당신의 사랑이자 증오
어쩌면 나는 너의 원수이자 벗
당신의 천국이자 지옥
때론 자랑이자 수모
난 절대 가면을 벗지 못해
이 가면 속의 난
니가 아는 걔가 아니기에
오늘도 make up to wake up
and dress up to mask on
당신이 사랑하는 내가 되기 위해
당신이 사랑하는 걔가 되기 위해서
그 좋아하던 XX도 끊었지
그저 당신을 위해서
싫어하는 옷도 과도한 메이크업도
당신의 웃음과 행복이
곧 내 행복의 척도
이런 내가 이런 내가
당신의 사랑 받을 자격 있을까
언제나 당신의
최고가 되기 위해 노력을 해
이런 모습은 몰랐음 해

내 모든 wonder
에 대한 answer
I call you her, her
Cuz you’re my tear, tear

내 모든 wonder
에 대한 answer
I call you her, her
Cuz you’re my tear, tear

늘 그랬듯이 mask on
환호로 날 반겨주는 her
그대만의 별
아무 일 없이 빛나면서도
가장 빛나야 할 시간에
난 mask off
Lost star
내 짐을 내려놔 어둠을 즐겨
죽일 듯이 쏴대는
조명도 없으니 ye
그저 맘 가는 대로
감 닿는 대로 날 안 잡는 대로
Tick tock the dark is over
다시 너의 최고가 되기 위해
내 자신을 붙잡어
사랑은 사람을 미치게 해
그래 미친놈의 각오
가장 나다운 식에 대입을 하고
전부인 너를 위해
내가 내린 해답을 줘
그걸 사랑해주는 너
그로 인해 노력하는 나
니 존재로 새로운 의미를 찾고
빛을 내는 밤
난 알았어 어둠이 끝나도
내겐 넌 아침이란 걸
You woke me up

내 모든 wonder
에 대한 answer
I call you her, her
Cuz you’re my tear, tear

내 모든 wonder
에 대한 answer
I call you her, her
Cuz you’re my tear, tear

English

The world is a complex
We wus lookin’ for love
I was also just another one of those people
Whether it’s real love or something
I didn’t even believe in
I babbled on like a habit about how I want to love
But I found myself
The whole new myself
I’m also confused about what in the world is the real me
Did I realize I was a book after meeting you
or did you turn my page
Damn
Anyways I want to be the best man for you
It’s probably certain since you
were the world itself to me
When you said that if you died you’d die with me
I would become the me that you want
God I swore to myself
So many complex
But I’m lookin’ for love
I’m fine with my fake self if it means you’ll hug me
Since you’re my beginning and ending itself
Finish me

The answer
To all my wonder(s)
I call you her, her
Cuz you’re my tear, tear

The answer
To all my wonder(s)
I call you her, her
Cuz you’re my tear, tear

Perhaps I am
Your truth and lie
Perhaps your love and hate
Perhaps I am your friend and enemy
Your heaven and hell
Sometimes pride and humiliation
I can never take off the mask
Because the me behind this mask
Is not the one you know
Make up to wake up today too
And dress up to mask on
In order to become the me that you love
In order to become the one that you love
I quit the XX that I liked so much
Just for you
The clothes I hate and excessive makeup
Your smile and happiness
Are the scale of my happiness
This me this me
Do I deserve to receive your love
I always try
to become your best
I hope you don’t know this side of me

The answer
To all my wonder(s)
I call you her, her
Cuz you’re my tear, tear

The answer
To all my wonder(s)
I call you her, her
Cuz you’re my tear, tear

Like always mask on
Her who welcomes me with cheers
Your own star
Shining without any trouble
The time when I have to shine the most
I take my mask off
Lost star
I put down my burden I enjoy the darkness
There is no light that
shoots like a killer
Just as your heart goes
The way it feels, as you don’t hold me
Tick tock the dark is over
In order to become your best again
I hold onto myself
Love makes a person go insane
A madman’s resolution
I insert myself into the equation that is most like me
For all of you
I give the answer that I got
The you who loves that
Through that I make an effort
Through your existence I find new meaning
The night that shines
I knew even though the darkness ended
That you are my morning
You woke me up

The answer
To all my wonder(s)
I call you her, her
Cuz you’re my tear, tear

The answer
To all my wonder(s)
I call you her, her
Cuz you’re my tear, tear

Trans cr; Jisoo @ bts-trans
© TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

shirleywelchington  asked:

Do you think the reason so many people ship phan is because if it's not real then they will eventually move out. Idk

Dan and Phil have this amazing chemistry together, something that I don’t think I’ve seen before between two friends. I don’t think I’ve even seen any couples with the sort of chemistry that Dan and Phil have, but it goes so much further than just having chemistry .

It’s the little things that make people believe that they are in a relationship

  •  It’s the softest voice asking ‘do you know what viscosity is?’ and genuine laughter following as Dan looks at Phil with so much fondness and happiness, his eyes are all crinkly with the size of his smile
  • It’s Dan calling Phil a living flop in the gentlest voice imaginable which just screams the exact opposite and even though he’s standing behind the camera you can picture his dimple standing out because his smile is just so damn wide
  • It’s Phil catching Dan in a trust fall and Dan actually trusting Phil to grab him before he hit the ground
  • It’s Phil constantly stealing Dan’s cereal and eating the ingredients for their baking videos and Dan pretending to be annoyed but everyone knows that he really doesn’t care
  • “If I had a house I would just make every window glass” *insert the fondest look and laugh here*
  • It’s knowing that Phil was there to support Dan when he was struggling with uni and thinking about dropping out
  • It’s all the little pranks they try to pull on each other but they never get mad they just laugh and know that there’ll be another one
  • It’s the fact that they’re living in their third home together and have plans to move into a forever home with each other
  • It’s knowing that they want to get a dog together and Dan telling his live show audience that Phil likes corgis, heavily implying that they’d probably get a corgi for Phil
  • It’s Phil finally getting the recognition he deserves at the boncas but calling Dan up to accept the award with him and actually saying “I’ve spent the majority of 2016 with another person”
  • It’s travelling the world together and sharing a small bus but never getting sick of sharing each other’s company
  • It’s creating an entire community and knowing that they’ll always have each other’s backs
  • It’s waiting for each other to wake up so they can have breakfast and watch anime together
  • It’s ‘me and Phil’, ‘Phil and I’, ‘we’, ‘our’
  • It’s Phil screaming all or nothing and Dan just shaking his head fondly bc he knew that was coming but he didn’t care and just humoured Phil

There are honestly so many reasons why Dan and Phil work together and I could go on for another 300 bullet points (no seriously, I could) but most of all I think it’s the fact they’ve been so close for 8 years and have no intentions of leaving each other any time soon

Hamilton Characters As Things I’ve Said/Done
  • Hamilton : “Hey, you never know. I could be gay and only dating you so people thought otherwise.”
  • Lafayette : “I can rap faster than I can offend someone.”
  • Hercules : *wears gown, tiara, and sparkly heels out to the park when it’s 100 degrees out*
  • Laurens : “I wake up at three A.M. in cold sweat to jot down how much I love my dogs.”
  • Jefferson : “Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought ‘damn.’”
  • Madison : “Oh, cough cough, bitch.”
  • Eliza : “You can’t break up with me! I quit!”
  • Angelica : “Free for all, losers! He’s mine!”
  • Peggy : “My arms are practically bulging with muscles from combing my hair.”
  • Maria : “Heterosexuality? I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
  • Seabury : “Oh, my god! She’s verbally attacking me!”
  • Washington : “I’d lie and say I’d be the mom of this group but everyone knows I’d be the hammered aunt.”
  • Burr : *shows report card to friends* “You don’t understand! I’m an Asian, not a Dsian.”
BTS BUTTERFLY EFFECT THEORY

Okay so couple weeks ago I watched the movie butterfly effect and with the last highlight reel I’m basically sure about this theory.

So, for the ones who have not seen the movie it goes like this (I strongly recommend you watch the movie though);

A boy named Evan, goes through hard times during his childhood and his teenage years. But he cannot remember these key moments in his life he blacks out and wakes up after everything is done. He starts writing down everything in his journals so he can keep track of everything.

Later in his life he realizes that he has the power to go back in time and undone his and his friends’ mistakes. He does this by looking through his journals and recalling the memories he must go back to. He goes back dozens of times but every time he undoes something, another one goes wrong. In a surprising turn, he finds out his dad had the same abilities and his dad did the same in his lifetime by looking at the PHOTOS he took. YES photos. Does it sound familiar? Because it should. Who do we see always taking vids and pics throughout the whole HYYH + WINGS eras?

Jin is Evan in their story, trying to save the boys over and over again, trying to make everything right. See also, how exhausted Jin looks in the end of the most recent highlight reel. He’s been trying to save these boys for so long.


‘Coincidentally’ one of the times Evan uses this ability in the movie is when the girl he loves commits suicide and he goes back to save her. Which we see Jin do in Highlight Reel 3. Whenever Evan goes back in time and changes something their lives change, things disappear, the way their lives go change, but there are always reoccurring scenes. Throughout HYYH and Wings there are scenes we see too often but always in different settings. Almost like these things happen but in parallel universes. The parallel universes that Jin creates every time he goes back in time to save the boys. Few of them are;

Taehyung with wall painting and graffiti

Taehyung getting arrested

Yoongi with his fire obsession and his piano

Jimin with water

Hoseok with pills

Jimin / Hoseok in hospitals

Jimin drowning / in or around bathtubs

Namjoon with a lollipop

Namjoon with phone boxes

And of course, the obvious; couples

The never-ending connections between Jungkook/Yoongi, Jimin/Hoseok and Namjoon/Taehyung which not so surprisingly leaves out Jin, because he’s the one trying to save them.

In MVs there are a lot of scenes implying the butterfly effect itself for instance

In highlight reel Jin said: “Yesterdays many encounters and goodbyes existed for this moment. Every alley and crossroad I walked through were all meant to lead me to this place.” Saying that every little thing done in the past led him to the place he is now, which is basically the definition of butterfly effect.

Or for instance in I Need U Japanese Version MV when Jungkook burns the flower in his hand, the camera instantly cuts to the photo of the same flower behind Yoongi starting burn as well, meaning Jungkook’s actions affect Yoongi’s life.

There are a lot of butterfly imagery in the MVs as well. Not even mentioning there’s a song called Butterfly and one of the album’s name is WINGS.

So, let’s talk about hyyh1 and hyyh2. My theory is that HYYH2 could be a different reliving of HYYH1 where Jin had to go back in time because well, our boys fucked up. With Taehyung killing his father/ brother, Hoseok swallowing those pills, Jungkook getting in a car crash, Yoongi burning himself in his hotel room and Jimin drowning himself. HYYH2 with Run MV is Jin’s another attempt so save these 6 boys. Also at the end of BS&T Japanese Version we see Jin going to the place Namjoon works and saying, “Long time, no see” where Namjoon is startled to see Jin. This could also contribute to the theory that after everything went downhills in BS&T jap verse, Jin fighting with Taehyung included, Jin had to try again.

I believe their hairstyles and colors as well as their clothing style changes between I Need U and Run eras to imply a different universe, but we can never be sure.

I want to note that in Run MV where the boys are vandalizing the cars in the tunnel Jin is the only one sitting in the car not doing anything and when they start to run he’s the one who gets them out of trouble, he’s the one who’s waiting to save them. 

If we tie things with the Korean version BS&T MV it explains the duality of the universes. Jin sees another dimension through the mirror in the end of BS&T which could be tied to HYYH era as every time Jin tries to save the boys he creates another universe. BS&T also shows the evil temptations the boys are facing and Jin once again sacrificing himself and saving the boys.

Also coming to the Highlight Reels, to me, as the whole story is still connected to the book Demian by Hermann Hesse, the girls represent their Beatrices. In the book, Sinclair thought he had fallen for a girl he saw in a park and named Beatrice. He thought about her as the days went on and finally decided to paint a picture of her. As he painted he realized what he was drawing resembled no longer a girl but the face of a young man. He finished the painting only to realize he had drawn Demian. Because Demian was the one he was longing for. The pairings Jimin/Jhope, Jungkook/Yoongi and Taehyung/Namjoon are Sinclair and Demian to each other.

the demian connections were also said by @/angelakiss_tale on twitter so kudos to them for making me realize.

I’ll add things as I connect the dots, I’ve still yet to understand all the individual stories told in Highlight Reels. Especially Jihope+the girl story dumbfounded me.

Teddy Bear

Summary: Sebastian is a fuzzy teddy bear!! 

Word Count: 1.3k (oops…)

A/N: this little idea came from my beloved @justasunflower, and some new old pics of Seba today [see below], so I hope you all enjoy! :)



Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I love the foster sibling au! I was wondering if it was still when Percy/Piper was a demigod or not because maybe then Tyson could get to meet Piper? He'd be such a good big brother to her perhaps! Anyway have a good day :)

still not sure about the au, but this idea was just too cute to pass up. tyson and percy would be the BEST big brothers. 

Attack Of The Clones

Request:

Hey request are open. Can we get where the reader can duplicate and but she starts duplicating in her sleep. So it freaks the whole team out so they confront the reader about it.            


Bucky has created a chatroom.

Bucky has added Bruce, Thor, Clint.

Bucky: BANNER

Clint: BRUCE

Thor: SIR OF SCIENCE

Bruce: Yes, what can I, Sir of Science, do for either of you?

Bucky: Can you explain Y/N’s powers, but without the science?

Bruce: Y/N can duplicate them-self, or objects. That’s all I can say without getting into the science.

Bucky: Can I have more details please? Especially about the clones.

Bruce: Any duplicate of Y/N is an independent, self thinking version of Y/N, and usually contains one trait of Y/N that defines their whole personality. Sometimes they have no traits of Y/N, and take on their own.

Bucky: Now… how do you get rid of the clone?

Bruce: Any other way you’d get rid of someone, or have Y/N dissipate them.

Clint: So, we’re stuck with them until Y/N wakes up?

Bruce: Clarify.

Thor: Y/N HAS BEEN SUMMONING THEIR DOPPLEGANGERS AS THEY SLUMBER.

Thor: WE ARE GRAVELY OUTNUMBERED.

Thor: THE DOPPLEGANGERS HAVE TAKEN OVER.

Thor: WE MUST RETREAT TO SOME PLACE SAFE.

Keep reading

hey, baby, how do you feel about being my newest obsession? 
it’ll be sweet for the first couple weeks
you’ll get so many poems 
with your name as the title and 
you’ll realize how wild i can be.
it’ll be blissful, baby, i swear
‘cause i’ll always be there, playing exactly
who you need.


but you’ll notice that i always smell like booze and cigarette smoke
and my eyes glaze over when you tell me your problems. 
you realize you’ll never live up to my fantasy version of you
so why even bother?
the obsession is getting a bit too creepy, anyway.


i drink orange juice with the clear korean liquor my roommate left in the fridge
the sugar masks the gasoline taste,
so i don’t realize i’ve had too much 'til i wake up with my head pounding and stomach revolting.


what i’m trying to say is when you leave
i won’t blame you.

—  april is over (a.p.)
This!!! This is the chance I’ve been looking for!!!

“So, even with everybody thinking you’re a bad ghost, you’re still gonna try to be the hero?”

“Well, somebody’s gotta. If not me, who’s gonna protect this town? Besides, it’s not like I can ignore a scream for help.”

I am so gonna talk about this boy I’ve been waiting for a good chance to talk about what a good, pure child he is and I am taking it now. Bless his heart I love him so much.

Let’s talk about Daniel James Fenton and why he deserves love and protection forever and always.

Keep reading

[LYRICS] (ENG TRANS) Outro: Her

the world is a complex
we was lookin’ for love
I too used to be that kind of person too
I didn’t believe what real love is
I used to say habitually that I want to love

but I found myself
the whole new myself
I’m confused too, which one is really me
I met you and did I realise that I’m a book
or did you turn the page
anyway I want to be the best man for you
it’s probably natural because you are my world itself
I would become what you want, God I swore to myself

so many complex
but I’m lookin’ for love
I can be a fake self as long as you embrace me
you are my beginning and the end itself
will you finish me

all of my wonder
the answer to that
I call you her, her
cuz you’re my tear, tear
all of my wonder
the answer to that
I call you her, her
cuz you’re my tear, tear

maybe you are my truth and the lie
maybe I’m your love and hate
maybe I’m your enemy and friend
you’re heaven and hell, sometimes pride and suffering
I can never take off this mask
because, within this mask, I am not the guy that you know
again today, I make up to wake up
and dress up to mask on
so that I can become the me that you love
so that I can become the guy that you love
I quit XX which i used to enjoy very much
just for you
even the clothes I hate and too much makeup
your laughter and happiness decide my own happiness
do I deserve to be loved by you when I’m this way
I always try my best to be the best for you
I hope that you don’t know this side of me

all of my wonder
the answer to that
I call you her, her
cuz you’re my tear, tear
all of my wonder
the answer to that
i call you her, her
cuz you’re my tear, tear

like always, mask on
greeting me with joy, her
your star, it shines for no particular reason
the moment it’s supposed to shine the brightest, I take the mask off
lost star I put down my baggage and enjoy the darkness
there’s no spotlight that’s shining me to death aye
just see where the heart goes
where the feeling goes, where it doesn’t grab me
tick tock the dark is over

so that I can be your best again
I hold on to myself
love makes a person go crazy
yeah the determination of a madman
I substitute myself into the method that’s most like myself
I give you the solution I came to for you, my everything

you love it
I do my best because of it
because of your presence, the night finds new meaning and shines bright
I know now that when even when the darkness ends
you are my morning
you woke me up

all of my wonder
the answer to that
I call you her, her
cuz you’re my tear, tear
all of my wonder
the answer to that
I call you her, her
cuz you’re my tear, tear

trans by Kai @ bangtan tumblr do not take out or repost without permission.

13 | You’ll Never Walk Alone

BTS + GOT7 X READER [GANG!AU]

WORD COUNT: 5,345

series warnings: mature themes, strong language, violence, substance abuse, eventual smut. this chapter contains graphic content such as violence, gruesome torture, death, blood, wound details and grief

Originally posted by manwalage

masterlist | ask | prev | next

Keep reading

LAZY DAY WITH EXO

Minseok:

★stays in bed until late afternoon

★likes sleeping on your chest 

★enjoys having his hair played with

★tells you everything about the comeback

★loves hearing about everything you’ve done since the last time you got time alone

★your lazy days in bed makes him feel normal

★so he cherishes every one he gets with you

★’want some food?’

★’order some’

★’i was going to make something’

★’that means you need to get out of bed’

★’true’

★you order food

★and lounge around

★making meaningless chit chat 


Junmyeon:

★the two of you would lounge around on the sofa 

★watching all the dramas you love

★once the sun sets, he’ll go and collect a backpack from the bedroom

★’what’s in that?’

★’nothing’ 

★when you pout, he’ll sigh 

★’you’ll see later’ 

★he’ll tell you to put on warm clothing

★he’ll hold your hand until you get to your favourite spot

★the beach you first met on

★you finally get to see what’s in the bag

★sparklers

★and picnic foods

★you play with the sparklers 

★dance

★and eat

★until one of you falls asleep


Yixing:

★poor bub forgot that he had a free day 

★when you wake to see him dress you call him and open your arms 

★’you’re going to leave me on your first day off in months?’ 

★’that’s today?’

★’yeah’

★’i’m sorry!’

★he’d strip off in the speed of light

★and join you back in bed

★he’d hold you in his arms 

★and sing the song he was currently working on

★if you don’t fall back to sleep he’ll run the bath for you

★the cuddling will move there

★and you’re given a treat of him singing to you


Baekhyun:

★blanket fort 

★snacks

★movie 

★comfy pyjamas 

★and baekhyun wrapped around you

★sometimes he’ll sing for you 

★sometimes you’ll just lay listening to the sound from the streets outside

★’do you want to go get food’

★’no’

★’you’ve not eaten all day’

★’i’ve not cuddled you all month’

★softest boyf  


Jongdae:

★lazy days with jongdae aren’t that lazy 

★you go get ice cream 

★and wander around the city 

★you’ll take a load of pictures  

★you’ll keep some 

★and he’ll take some for when he’s on tour

★after a few hours of exploring and taking pictures

★you’ll head to your favourite place to eat and have lunch

★he’ll tell you about everything he’s done while you’ve been apart

★he also loves hearing about what you’ve been doing

★after eating

★it’s to the park to sit on your bench and look at clouds


Chanyeol:

★he will scream if you  out of bed 

★baby just wants to sleep wrapped in your arms 

★bc he’s been worked so hard lately  

★being with you in bed is the only time he gets to fully relax 

★when he’s finally rested enough he’ll swap so you were in his arms

★’missed you’

★kisses for hours

★he likes resting his hands under your shirt

★you could talk to him about anything and he’d listen

★and enjoy it

★bc it’s you

★probably gonna end up having really slow sex

★you don’t know the next time you get to see each other

★might as well make the most of it


Kyungsoo:

★by the time you wake up he’ll have breakfast ready for you 

★’aren’t i supposed to be the one pampering you?’ 

★’you’re dangerous in the kitchen’ 

★’liar’ 

★’you rubbed your eyes when you had chili flakes on your fingers’

★’that was once’

★’shut up and eat’

★you’ll gush over him 

★which turns him into a tomato bless

★’you can stop now, Y/N’

★’never’

★after eating it’s off to the sofa

★to watch tv and cuddle

★but whatever’s playing gets ignored

★you’re more interested in eachother

★it’ll get turned off so you can talk without other noice

★you’ll napping with his head on your chest



Jongin:

★when you finally wake up in the late afternoon

★he’ll let you raid his wardrobe for something comfy  

★and then go change the sting room into a mess of blankets and pillows 

★you’ll nestle in the mess  

★order food

★then watch a movie

★he’ll lock your fingers together

★and occasionally press kisses to your knuckles

★when the food comes he’ll sit you in his lap and feed you

★then back to cuddling and kissing


Sehun:

★sehun will wrap himself around you 

★whines if you try moving 

★’why are you being cruel to your boyfriend?’ 

★’i just wanna brush my teeth’

★’you want to leave him in bed on his own to get cold’

★’you’re ridiculous’

★’but you love it’

★kisses over every bit of you he can

★enjoys your fingers in his hair

★bc he’s an actual cat

★will ditch you if vivi gets on the bed with you tho   

Love letters.

Looking at you reminded me of everything sweet. It was like walking into a candy store but everything was named after you. I had a feeling that the store would give me a stomach ache but I’m pretty sure those are actually butterflies instead. I never would admit that I see you in my dreams and wake up wishing we lived in a movie so I could rewind one more time. Your eyes make me forget how much I loved the stars because you outshine them any day of the week. My name flows out of your mouth so lovely, like you were made to say it. There is an empty space in my bed that would fit you perfectly. I can almost see you laying there already, head back mid laugh, love has never looked so good. Cursive handwriting makes anything look more romantic, that’s what you told me last time. I think of you in pretty words and postage stamps and love letters sent in July.