so human an animal

Do you ever think about how when Ron’s wand broke 2nd year, just using spell-o-tape wasn’t enough to fix it. It kept backfiring in ways that were really bad, like making himself eat slugs, or kinda just. being defective in general.

Hagrid’s wand was snapped his 3rd year. But he still uses it, disguised as an umbrella. And it works.

Like we know Ollivander didn’t fix it, since he was surprised to hear Hagrid had the pieces. Not to mention since Hagrid was expelled, it would be extremely illegal to fix it. Hogwarts works as a groundskeeper, and lives in a one room wooden hut that he made himself. He’s not going to have the money to ribe someone to fix it, and then there’s also the fact that because of his heritage, even if he could bribe someone to fix it, they probably wouldn’t. And sure, Dumbledore probably knows that Hagrid fixed his wand, there’s a certain level of deniability there. He wouldn’t have actually gotten involved with the wand mending process. Especially when Hagrid was just accused of killing a student.

So that means Hagrid would have put his wand back together himself.

The 3rd year transfiguration examination was to turn a teapot into a tortoise. Only inanimate objects into animals. Part of the reason animagi are so rare is because they’re human to animal transformations. The first time we meet Hagrid, he gives Dudley a tail, and correctly animates the boat he and Harry are on. Silently.

Harry and co. didn’t even attempt to learn silent casting until 6th year. Anything Hagrid learned after 3rd year would have been self taught.

Hagrid is one powerful wizard and holy shit combined with his resistance to magic with his giant heritage forget McGonagall holy shit Hagrid is terrifying

10

fangirl challenge [1/15 male celebrities: Joe Keery 

“I did like, theater camp, when I was a little kid and made videos with my sisters and was interested in music, but didn’t ever want to sing. I thought it was cool to play music, for sure, or - I saw School of Rock! I saw that movie and I was like ‘Oh my God! That seems like the coolest thing ever!’ … We were like this is the real shit. We gotta start doing this.” 

Imagine aliens finding out about constellations...

Alien astronomer: “So a few million years ago [their planet orbits its sun at a higher speed than ours does] we mapped out all the stars in our sky and split the sections of sky into what you’d call elevenths.

Human astronomer: "Why elevenths?”

Alien astronomer: “It’s silly really, but at the time eleven was considered to be a holy number. I know, it’s stupid and every alien I’ve met has always made fun of us for being so superstitious. So, how did you split up your sky?”

Human astronomer: “Er… animal shapes.”

Great Balls of Fucking Fire!

(Title because everyone titles their shit ‘humans are weird’ and telling these posts apart is a pain in the ass!) So, saw a post about aliens not being all that great with human swearing. (Wish I’d saved the damn post!) And my first thought was ‘Ah, yes, good! Go with that! That is awesome!” They pointed out that aliens wouldn’t understand swearing such as “Fuck!” or “Asshole!”. I thought “Motherfucker” would be another great one to add to the list. But what about the more um…inventive swears? For example (these are all ones that I use or have heard used):


Human: “Jesus Christ on a crutch!”

Alien: “Where? And how was your deity hurt? For that matter, how did your deity board the ship?”


Human: “Well fuck me sideways!”

Alien: “I do not think that is anatomically possible for either of us…”


Human: “I’ve met some pricks in my time, but you fine sir are the fucking cactus!”

Alien: “Fucking…cactus? Why would you wish to engage in coitus with a dessert plant? Wouldn’t it hurt?!”


Human: “Son of a biscuit eating bull dog!”

Alien: ?????


(Damnit, now I’m on a roll.) But consider some of these other things. What about human name calling? Like, the original post touched on that a bit with the ‘asshole’ comment. But again, what about the more inventive name calling? Children call each other ‘meanie’, ‘poopoo head’, and ‘meanie head’. Those would be confusing enough. Now picture an alien having to deal with adult name calling. Some of my friends have been known to use the following:

  • Twat waffle
  • Cunt biscuit
  • Shitlet
  • Douchebag
  • Ass goblin
  • Fuckwit
  • Ass clown
  • Captain Obvious (and their partner, Sergeant Sarcasm)
  • Butt Munch
  • Fucktard
  • Dick face
  • Shit nibbler (or nibblet)
  • Cheeky dickwaffle
  • Pecker head
  • Dingleberry

Can you picture an alien reacting to THOSE? And what about colloquialisms? What about those stupid sayings that don’t entirely make sense, but we use them anyway? Like, check out some of these beauties, and just imagine the alien’s glorious confusion over some of these:

 Human: “I am dragging so much ass that I am wiping out the tracks behind me!”

Alien: “Human you can’t leave tracks on a spaceship, nor is you posterior currently touching the ground.”


Human: (doesn’t trust some space pirate) “You can shake his hand, but you’ll have to count your fingers afterward.”

Alien: Promptly hides human’s hands, he didn’t know that that space pirate was a finger stealer! Or that finger stealers were a thing! Are their own tentacles close enough to count? Should they be worried? Don’t worry, I will protect your fingers my human!


Human: “We better dock soon, because I’ve got to pee like a motherfucker/ racehorse/ mother racehorse (that last is my families fusion of the two. Dont ask).

Alien: ???? (doesn’t compute) ?????


Human: “I’m so hungry I could eat a (insert large animal or item of choice. Such as ‘Spaceship’)!”

Alien: Races off to warn captain that they need to up the human’s food intake before it eats the ship right out from under them!!!!


Human: “He’s slicker than owl shit!” 

Alien: ?????


Human: “I’m busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!”

Alien: Gets migraine trying to picture how a human with one leg could kick anything, much less as a competitor.


Human: “Stop running around like a chicken with your head cut off! Your hair is not on fire!”

Alien: Freezes mid-step to stare at human. “W-what?”


Just picture all of these guys!

Sketch page collab with @nomderonge of perfect prince EL REY MAGNUM, the Arabian horse who took the internet by storm. And by “storm” I obviously mean “shitstorm”, because this presumably-living example of perverted animal husbandry has since had his web page taken down.

The Tumblr post as we saw it is always going to be here, though. And here are the lines!

I love that my entire dash is debates over exotic animals now because of that one post about uncommon pets.

Like yeah I won’t deny that there are lots of people who can adequately keep a possum or a fox or a wolfdog, but for every one person who can there’s eleven people who think they can and then fail miserably.

I hesitate to call them “pets” because to me a pet is a fully domestic animal that is fully adapted to life in human care. It tames easily because that’s its default state. Alternatively, it isn’t dangerous by nature and can easily be segued into a home without painfully disrupting either the animal or the human. So a dog or cat or nonvenomous reptile would easily fit the definition of pet, where a parrot or a puma would not.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say a large or dangerous exotic can never be kept in private hands, but the amount of research, money, experience needed, time investment and legal arbitration would make successful ownership impossible for the average pet owner. Keeping a wolf or a puma isn’t so much keeping a pet as it is a total lifestyle overhaul. You now own a zoo, and you need to conduct your property as a zoo, make sure you have the right permits and the right vet, a safe enclosure, and everything else that comes with running one.

The biggest issue is that so many people who want an opossum or a fox have almost no experience dealing with difficult animals or exotics, they want one because they saw it online (or in the case of sugar gliders, because they saw them at the mall when that awful fucking Pocket Pets mill breeder was there peddling them as an easy pet like a hamster)

The majority of people who say “I want one” to a video of a pet wolf just… have no idea, lol. A good exotic breeder wouldn’t sell to someone like that in the first place, but there are as many jerks out there looking to make a buck as there are gullible rubes to be taken in.

mere-peripheral  asked:

Why do people approach stress-barking dogs? My dog is people-nervous, and has some kind of PTSD going on, and we've much figured out how to manage situations to keep her the least stressed and therefore less likely to lash out at people as they leave the room or (in the case of one cousin) try to hit her. But this lady arrived without warning and even though my dog was barking and I said "Don't come close, she's anxious" she tried to approach the dog until I literally screamed "Please, don't."

Society, at least the society I live and work in, has this habit of viewing dogs as public property, even though they are not.

Dogs firstly are their own animals, and they have their own comfort zone, which if you cross is likely to end up with you being bitten, but they are also private property which means nobody should approach or touch any dog without permission.

Tumblr is a funny place to see these posts, because while I see lots of posts about humans and mental health and the importance of consent, but I also see lots of posts about ‘Doggos! Luv all teh doggos! I pat all da doggos!’ without considering that, like humans, perhaps there are some doggos which do not want pats.

Some people perceive dogs as objects, and will automatically assume a dog will react how they want them to react, and also believe that they have a right to interact with the dog. I believe some service dog handlers would have quite a lot to add on this topic. This sort of person will often take great offense when they are asked not to touch your dog, and will often ignore requests to do so. They may also bark back at or antagonize an already stressed dog to ‘talk to it’ or ‘show it who’s the bigger dog’. This is not recommended and makes no sense.

Lots of non-dog people don’t understand dog body language or read their cues well. To be fair, lots of dog owners don’t either, which is why so many dogs are said to be ‘dominant’ when they’re really just scared.

It’s also why I’m frustratingly frequently told on the street, when I stop to let a stranger’s dog sniff me, that I ‘shouldn’t be afraid, they wont bite’ when I am not at all afraid of dogs, but I am being polite and allowing the dog to approach on its own terms. It’s no wonder so many people get bitten.

This is why continuing, accessible, accurate education about animal behavior, especially pets, is so important. Both for human safety and animal welfare.

So the short answer is: Entitlement, ignorance or mis-information.

Michael Bay’s turtle neanderthals are part of a larger issue in big budget films where they either have no idea how to make appealing anthro designs, or get cold feet on making something TOO furry for the plebs, and end up with an uncanny compromise. The live action Beauty and the Beast is a great example of this:

It’s so….. jarring. A human mask stuck in front of a much larger animal’s cranium and neck

Here’s another Beauty and the Beast concept painting I did! This knocks out two designs in one piece: Belle’s gold dress and the Beast in his human form. In the words of Glen Keane through Belle in a cut line, ‘Do you think you could grow a beard?’ I’m one of the people who wishes that the Beast remained in his non-human form, so I tried to keep some of his more “animal” features in this design (mainly those furrowed brows). Belle’s gown is perfect in the original film and if it isn’t Baroque, don’t fix it, so I tried to remain faithful to the original design. I imagined it being made of a more diaphanous fabric than the fabric in the animation, though. The overall style of this one is based on Gainsborough who to my understanding was one of the inspirations for the original film.

Asexuality Asks!

please do not repost! i worked hard on these! 


1.       When did you know that you were asexual?

2.       How do you define asexuality for yourself?

3.       What is your romantic orientation?

4.       What is your full orientation?

5.       Do you like sex?

6.       Do you like romance?

7.       Would you be in a romantic relationship?

8.       Would you be in a sexual relationship?

9.       Would you be in a platonic relationship?

10.   Describe your attraction to men?

11.   Describe your attraction to women?

12.   Hugs or kisses?

13.   Preferred kisses to receive?

14.   Preferred kisses to give?

15.   Favorite thing about being asexual?

16.   Least favorite thing about being asexual?

17.   Worst thing someone has said to you about your identity?

18.   Best thing someone has said to you about your identity?

19.   Animal or human companion? If so, what kind or who?

20.   Character you see as asexual?

21.   Historical figure you see as asexual?

22.   Cake?

23.   Dogs?

24.   Cats?

25.   If you could pick an animal to represent your asexuality, what would it be?

26.   If you could pick a color to represent your asexuality, what would it be?

27.   Favorite romantic song turned platonic in your head?

28.   Favorite platonic song?

29.   Person you would love to be in a platonic relationship with?

30.   Do you consider yourself LGBTQA?

31.   You are awesome.

32.   Literary character you see as asexual?

33. Asexual headcanon?

34. You are LGBT.

35. Are you out to anyone, be it online or in real life? 

36. Would you ever come out to anyone, be it online or in real life? 

37. What’s the biggest misconception about asexuality for you? 

38. Do you enjoy being asexual or on the aspec? 

39. Has religion or culture  played a role in your asexuality? 

40. What do you love the most about being asexual or on the aspec? 

41. Do you want the discourse to die? 

42. If you were to make your own personal pride flag, what would it look like? 

43. Favorite book with an asexual or asexual felt character? 

44. What do you hate the most about being asexual or on the aspec? 

45. Do you have connections to figures in history or mythology in relation to your asexual or aspec identity? 

46. Have you ever doubted your asexuality? 

47. Describe your dream relationship? 

48. Random question (nothing inappropriate or triggering!) 

Just two sisters chatting~

(folks have been asking about these two for a while, and I’ve had their designs in the back of my head since starting Stick-Gods; so, FINALLY)

chudley has been played on akinator 46 times and apparently the majority of people answer “yes” to the question “does your character have human skin” 

does he? does he have human skin??? does chudley possess any human skin

2

Kiwi, being a wild sylvari, generaly behaves more like an animal than a human so naturally he starts eating whatever looks even remotely edible. But somehow he’s smart enough to know that he doesn’t want Ita’s shrooms. Self-preservation maybe?

Hello! uhm so yeah, making a request here xD RFA members reaction after MC became a rabbit suddenly? OuO (assuming that they are already together and living together as well) Thanks! <3 -anon


Oh my god this is the oldest request in my box I am so sorry you’ve been waiting like 5+ months; also I’m getting some Dandelion vibes here

Yoosung:

  • Upon waking up, the first thing Yoosung noticed was an animal sitting on his face
  • “Mc, why’s there a rabbit in our room?!” he called out
  • “Mc?”
  • Come to think of it, the rabbit’s fur is the exact same color as your hair…
  • “OH MY GOD MC HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! WHAT WHY WHEN HOW-”
  • He eventually finds a note on his bedside table that reads, “Poof! Your girlfriend is gonna be a rabbit all week! You’re welcome! ~The Wizard”
  • The who?? what?? wizard??
  • “MC PLEASE DON’T CHEW ON THAT THAT’S MY HEADSET.”
  • “muhuhaha you can’t play lolol and focus on me now”
  • There’s nobody who’s going to believe him so when the RFA asks where you went he panics and says that your family dog died and you had to go home asap to mourn
  • Good thing he’s studying animals though because he def knows how to take care of you!! Good veggies, you get to sit in his lap while he pets you, and he cleaned up your droppings (romantic!!)
  • He’s so relieved when he woke up one morning cuddled up to your actual human body and he’s missed you so much
  • Plus animal droppings are gross so

Jaehee:

  • Why is there fur all over the bed
  • Why does it it smell like an animal? 
  • “Did Mr. Han leave Elizabeth over again? But this isn’t her fur color…”
  • The blankets were shuffling a little, so she pulled them away and hOLY CRAP WHY IS THERE A RABBIT IN MY BED
  • “MC DID YOU BRING THIS RABBIT INTO OUR HOUSE?!”
  • No response 
  • “Mc…?”
  • That’s when she noticed the note on the floor that probably fell when she shook the blanket
  • “Your girlfriend is going to be a rabbit for a week! Isn’t that exciting? ~The Wizard”
  • The…what?
  • Now looking closely, the rabbit was wearing a miniature version of your sweater
  • She sighed, picking you up and bringing you to the living room and that’s where you stayed all night; in Jaehee’s lap watching Zen dvds
  • It was a stressful week trying to balance work and making sure you were well taken care of but that’s okay you’re adorable
  • But she was glad when you turned back into a human one morning, it was so hard trying to cover up your absence 

Zen:

  • “A-ACHEW!”
  • “Jagi?” Zen called out, “Is there an animal in here…?”
  • He kept searching through the house but you still weren’t home
  • You always told him when you were heading out so it was odd that you were gone without notice
  • In a flash, something moved fast in his peripheral vision towards the bedroom
  • ‘She better not have secretly adopted an animal I swear to god–’
  • “WHAT THE *ACHEW* IS THAT A RABBIT?! WHY IS IT HERE?!”
  • Hesitantly, he grabbed the notecard the animal was chewing on and read it, “WOOSH! Your girlfriend is gonna be a rabbit for the week! Have fun! -The Wizard”
  • “How do I know that you’re really MC?” he skeptically picked up the rabbit despite his urge to sneeze again
  • The rabbit proceeded to hop out of his arms, diving under the bed, only to start pushing out the box of condoms he kept under there
  • His face went as red as his eyes, “O-Okay, okay! I believe you! Just put them back!!”
  • He had to persevere though heavy allergy meds to be able to treat you like the ultimate rabbit princess when he wasn’t away at rehearsals
  • “Maybe this is why Trust Fund pampers the furball so much…”

Jumin:

  • The only times you were out of bed before him in the morning were when you were using the bathroom or getting some water in the kitchen
  • And you weren’t in the bathroom
  • As he walked into the kitchen, there was a ball of fur eating from the food bowl
  • An animal that was not Elizabeth
  • “What is this…disgusting creature doing, eating out of my princess’s bowl?” wow thanks jumin
  • He noticed a note tied to the tail, upon opening it it read, “Wow! Guess I’ve turned your wife into a bunny for a week! Have fun! -The Wizard”
  • …what?
  • Jumin wasn’t very convinced until the rabbit was nuzzling that one spot on Elizabeth’s stomach to make her purr, something only you knew how to do
  • It was then that Jumin Han’s new rabbit made the headlines
  • No expenses were wasted in spoiling his new pet, you got to like the Elizabeth 3rd life in glamour
  • Jumin woke up in the morning, tightly hugging the human you, but you pushed him away immediately 
  • “My love, you’re back and already upset? What have I done to do so?”
  • “I DIDN’T FORGET THAT YOU CALLED ME A DISGUSTING CREATURE!”
  • “I didn’t know it was you!”

707:

  • Saeyoung checked the time on his monitor: 3:15am
  • It was well into the night and there was this weird rustling sound coming from the kitchen
  • Sighing, he stood up and wobbly walked outside his office to the source of the noise
  • It seemed to be coming from the food pantry
  • He opened it only to find a rabbit head deep into a bag of HB chips
  • “Hey, those are mine!”
  • Saeyoung quickly snatched the bag away and picked up the ‘intruder’
  • “Now why is there a rabbit in here…?”
  • That’s when he noticed that the ribbon around the ear was actually holding a tiny, rolled up note that read, “Tada! I’ve turned your girlfriend into a rabbit for the week! Fun, isn’t it? -The Wizard”
  • Being with Saeyoung is the worst
  • He’s putting you in all these weird outfits and arranging all these obstacle courses for you to run through
  • There was one time he tried putting you in rabbit lingerie and you flat out bit his hand
  • “Ow ow ow!! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again I sWEAR PLEASE LET GO”
  • When you woke up as a human you were not a happy camper and Saeyoung was very beaten up by the end of that day
10

bullet list of what is so ridic about this scene

  • animal-human embrace and SMILING POLARBEARDOG
  • katara using naga as a motivator for korra since korra and naga probably ran around together as little pups side by side
  • katara not using something like…‘think about being the avatar’ or 'think about the avatar state’
  • naga staying in place and most likely making eye contact with human biffle to encourage her
  • korra not giving up because it’s naga
  • katara’s 'proud of that gurl’ face
  • korra happy face
  • LAST BUT NOT LEAST
  • KORRA NOT GIVIN’ UP
  • not because she’s the avatar
  • but because she’s korra.