so he keeps the beard

anonymous asked:

I'm so sad after seeing that fan picture from last night I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it. I think a lot of people are being willfully blind to just how bad Louis has it. I'm also beginning to agree that el is here solely to keep Louis hetted up during Harry's album promo. I don't think it has anything to do with bg. And oddly enough that makes me even sadder because who knows when either stunt will end.

yeah i’ve never thought eleanor being back had anything to do with bg and i do think that the ‘goal’ is to keep louis bearded up so he’s doing the bulk (if not all) of the het heavy lifting while harry launches his solo career and it fucking sucks.

Another piece for Flow Magazines weekly, this one is ‘How to Draw a Man’ for those of you that don’t speak Dutch here is a translation.

1 This man loves the great outdoors, so to keep him warm on his adventures he has a beard. To draw a beard start with a colour wash in the shape of a beard and then add small hair lines to create texture, then make add a small moustache under the nose.

2 Real men like to smoke a pipe. This is how to draw a pipe, A tip is to either use a grey wash or a pencil scribble to create the smoke.

3 At night he likes to build a fire to keep warm, so he carries an axe for fire wood. This is how to draw an axe.

4 His favourite outfit is a scruffy check shirt. To draw a checked shirt use a colour wash and add black ink in a check pattern, then add some darker squares to create the flannel look.

5 Everybody knows dogs are mans best friend, this mans best friend is a Border Collie who is both loyal and hard working

Ok but imagine Luke coming home from tour after being away for months and waking you up in the middle of the night by laying on top of you and kissing your neck, his brand new beard tickling your skin, and after a while you’d wake up and tease him about his facial hair, saying “I’m not so sure about the beard babe” but then he would keep on kissing your neck, his hands pushing down your pj bottom slowly as he’d whisper “I know exactly how to change your mind about it” and then he’d go down on you and make you feel just how good his beard can feel against your inner thighs, until you begged him to stop because your body just can’t take it any longer and fuck idk I’m obsessed with scruffy!Luke, don’t mind me.

Mourning Jemma’s hero and PTSD arc on the first anniversary of death.

She is brave, she is smart. She was going through that planet’s ordeals with the bravest face on.

She found a cave. It was empty, except for loads of outdated junk with NASA logos that weren’t junks to her. They were her first Northern Star of hope.

She tinkered with them by herself (since she was alone, obviously), trying to build something that’d get her out of this hell. She discovered a map that belonged to the astronauts that she had by then knew were here. Her curious soul found an oasis inside this cave after so long! She couldn’t wait to tell somebody, anybody, about it all! Gee, what an adventure she’d have to talk about for months! She was almost dying from excitement!

(And from hunger.

And from isolation.

And from the lack of sun? Sun was everything to her at that moment. She swore again and again she’d never again take it for granted.)

She ventured outside now and then for food and water and something to help her find a way to her life. And she was chased. By It. She knew about it from the dead astronauts’ logs. She had found their graves on a venture. She had spent some time sitting beside them, until she was running for her life.

She was afraid. It was a living nightmare in the living hell that was this planet. So she fashioned a shiv. Such a small weapon wouldn’t kill It, or any of the monstrous beings there, but she hoped that that’d buy her three seconds to run.

She hoped.

One day (or night) the sun rose in the cave as the machine started working, a reward for the hope she held out even in the face of the most frightening of ordeals, promising her to go back to her life.

A life that wasn’t perfect, but was far more preferable than this hell. A life she had all planned out.

(With him. He kept her sane and with him there was something more, something incandescently beautiful to look forward to. After all, they were going on a date.

Then she had to give a form of him up to go back to him. To the Milky Way. To Earth. To life. A life she had all planned out.) 

Then it was all gone. There was nothing but emptiness and fear and the smell of the death so near.

And then…

As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge,
Clad in the light of a pole-star piercing the darkness of time:
You become an image of what is remembered forever.

She comes back, but traces of the death planet stay with her. She feels It breathing down her neck every now and then with every sudden sound, every sudden movement, every sudden everything. She’s back to the old life, but God, at what cost!



He’s there by her side the whole damn time. The inevitable getting-together of them happens, but it takes quite some time because her PTSD doesn’t go away with a poof.


It’s worse when Hydra forces him to go to Maveth, when she sets a killer loose and then sees the bodies on the Inhumans. But she strays strong.



No cheapest of the cheap trope that any character could ever have the misfortune of happening to them happened to her. There was no guy who made -27836861761827 sense, was full of gaping holes, utterly absurd and who had no reason to be in the plot at all other than to be in the way of a ship.

A storyline happened that didn’t kill and then burn her arcs that that unnecessary and illogical character dragged down along with him.


Where in the end there was a hero.



—–

When a character is written for no other purpose than to be in the way of a relationship, where do you see that ploy generally used?


In soap operas.

Oh yeah, sure, NASA recruiting teen (or only a few years out of teens) astronaut is totally something they do, don’t they? Then they send said kid to an unknown planet? Because he seemed so hot in his mid-thirties who keeps his beard perfectly stylish (so in vogue O.M.G!!!) with a trimmer, not some middle-aged man-hag that would make at least one semblance of sense. He’s an astronaut who told her that wasn’t science-y? Was I dreaming, bruh? You can be an astronaut even if you’re not science-y? NASA, can you hear me? Sign me up. 

Why lie, bruh?

(That wasn’t the only lie, pretty sure. It was the truths that could be counted in fingers with four fingers left.)

He also kisses a girl who is feeling hollow and hopeless, who’s grieving her hope and life that smashed into pieces with that bottle.

(Her life with her love she had all planned since forever.)

Well, he had slowly been draining her of that hope from the start actually.

He fed her like a dog, kept her in a cage…

Remind me again what was that cage for, bro. For a sand monster that wouldn’t stay in a cage? Maybe for monster plants? Plants that would come out of water and slither to the opening, maneuver the top perfectly and mosey in for a pamper?

How do you have abs that even Zac Efron would kill for?

NOTHING OF HIM MADE SENSE.

The showrunners and writers then came to their senses that they had no idea what to do, panicked and then hit the reset button in an attempt to hastily patch up everything. Now it’s almost hilarious to see them openly acknowledging these to be contrived and trying to pretend it never happened.

BUT ELIZABETH SMASHED IT IN THE EPISODE! YOU GO, GIRL!!!

Karlie, Leigh, and a Bathroom Stall

Because of the recent in your face, fake as fuck stunting brought to you by Karlie and Josh, I’m going to fill you in on a little something I (and a few others) have been sitting on for almost a year. 

So Leigh Lezark, yeah? Most of us know who she is, if not, google her and Karlie’s name together. One of my mutuals had gotten word that something happened between Leigh and Karlie before 2013. The person giving the info ran in Leigh’s DJ’ing circles, and they said Leigh was babbling about what happened with Karlie. It wasn’t until we cross referenced it with another source we got, that we realized something actually really did happen between those two. The second source that confirmed this said stuff happened in a bathroom stall at an afterparty during NYFW in 2012. So we have two sources basically confirming the same thing… You don’t get two sources saying the same thing every day.

Why does this information matter? Because Karlie was “technically” with Josh at the time. Kevin posted that IG of those two in August, and Karlie was messing around with Leigh in September. So either Karlie cheated on him, or he’s just her beard. If you want to believe she’s actually with him and a cheater, fine, be my guest. I don’t think she would ever do that though, so I’m more inclined to believe he is just her beard. Also keep in mind, this is just one piece of info I’ve got on these two. There’s plenty more where this came from. 

Except for the few, adorable moments he dedicated to kids, he walked that red carpet as if there was fire burning under his feet. Of all people, he had Simon Jones attached to his hip the entire time and that was only part of the horrible company he had to endure throughout the evening. And yet no Danielle, who’d be always so very willing, alongside him. Beautiful, but tense, dedicated to nicest fans but mostly detached, he might have nothing to promote but a dubious girl band project coming up and yet he could have made a good use of such a fitting opportunity to bask a bit in the spotlight, get a little more attention, spread his enthusiasm about his personal and professional moves. Instead he ran faster than Forrest Gump, chose not to discuss anything of what is publicly associated with him at the moment. Why? Is he as private and shy as Danielle shielding the wrong side of her face from the mean mean paps? 

One day it’ll end, but today isn’t obviously that day. And calling that a happy, free, willing Louis is like attending a Donald Trump convention and judging him a wise, competent, upright person.