so good but so bad for my mental health

anonymous asked:

hi anon whos thinking of a calendar! another mentally ill person here. i have been using a sort of mental health daily journal like that for a year now. before i could never pinpoint why i felt awful most days, and better on a rare day. the journal helped me understand my patterns and identify triggers for my bad mood so i can avoid them. and also going back to read good day entries has saved me from a couple of really bad nights. so i highly recommend you give it a try, bc it might help you too

Some other people also suggested an app called recoveryrecord to help you do this :)

My 2017 so far!

Why am I doing this? Well, I have mental health problems, the main one being borderline personality disorder which greatly affects my emotions and I wanted to track my overall emotions for a day. This tracker goes along with my journal so I can look back at, say, yesterday’s square and see its says a good day, then go to yesterday in my journal and see what I did it what happened to see what made me okay, same with the bad days. I’m using it as a way of figuring out my triggers for both good and bad moods .

Severe Dissocation @ Therapy

Me: I have a fear of losing myself to the point I won’t even be present enough to be able to respond to treatment by my next appointment.

Therapist: Oh no feeling like that is a common symptom! it’s pretty much irrational so don’t worry about it! :).

Me: Oh thank goodness! I'll try not to think about it too much then :).

~the time of appointment arrives ~

Therapist: your dissociation appears to of become so severe that we don’t know how to treat you, you are so deeply removed that we know your brain won't respond to any type of therapy or modern treatment plans we have.

Me: …

Originally posted by zebrascream

Not pregnant :(

But thank goodness.

Lovey and I want to have a baby so bad, but it’s not the time. We decided to stop trying because of my mental health issues… I can hardly take care of myself at the moment so how on earth would I be able to take care of a baby? I need to get my head sorted out before I can think about a precious lil nugget, but it sucks because I want to be a mother so, so, SOOOOO badly.

So, I guess it’s an incentive to push through and really deal with my depression and anxiety. I know a lot of mama witches follow me, so if any of you lovely people have any experience with mental health issues and pregnancy, please let me know. I’m having a hard time with this because I know I will always have depression and anxiety… I’ll just have better ways to cope… But I just can’t justify having a baby and not being able to be there for it all the time because of my mental health.

Sigh. My baby fever is out of control.

I hope you all are having a wonderful day or night ♥

Hello! I’m alive! Trying to be less self-important so I continue my boring(?) bare-faced without-makeup-or-lenses selfies! Here featuring some cute jammies and my #kokokim tshirt! Please don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I never dress up or do makeup anymore, I just feel extremely insecure about my looks, and have little money to spend on it sadly… and my mental health has been quite bad for a long time now, so I do what I can to feel good about how I look! My hair has gotten pretty long by now, and as you can see a large part of the top of my head has come back to it’s natural colour! I am still unsure if I should colour it again or just let it grow out like normal 😮 What do you think? I am not sure if I like this “ombre” look that I’ve got going on now 😅

Confession Time

The past 2.5 weeks have sucked for me health and fitness wise.

A ‘Cheat Day’ turned into a cheat weekend which spiraled into a fuck it two weeks. So from this I learned I have to be strict, I personally cant do cheat days at this stage of my journey.  

Which is’nt a bad thing! Some people would be like aww but you shouldnt be so strict its ok to eat whatever whatever. But I am fat. Its not in my head. I have weight to loose, not just for aesthetics, but also for my health and mental happiness. So if sticking to a strict diet and fitness schedule is what I need to do until I get to a better place where I can handle that freedom then thats fine! Its all about the greater good.

I haven’t been posting a lot these two weeks because of how off Ive been but today is a new day! Im ready to step forward and get this shit done!

anonymous asked:

Anxiety anon who asked about calling off at like 3 am last night.. I managed to come in to work and I was asked to have my shift changed from 1-9 to 12-8 and I agreed....... and they gave me a shift from 12-9.... and I got like 3 hours of sleep I can't just ask to take time off or anything because I'm trying to save up money to move out so I'm not a burden to my family and so my friends who live in a bad situation can move with me and like... I'm just so stressed out

Friend, I know you are trying to be responsible and make as much money as you can, but you are no good to anyone if you do not take care of yourself.  That very much includes your mental health. If you feel guilty calling out, ask off for a few days during the week so that you may mentally recharge and take care of yourself. Please, please take care of yourself! -Mandie

Gonna take a short hiatus from this blog, at least until the next episode airs, whenever that is! The fandom is too volatile for me to deal with right now, I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells whenever I post something, and I’ve said pretty much everything I can for the moment until more bad episodes are released. I’ve closed the inbox and submissions for now, I can’t close PMs but I’d prefer if you didn’t contact me through them. If you need me I’ll be on my main over at @drfoxes. See you guys soon!

The boiler fucked it again last night but it turned out the pressure had gone and I needed to monkey wrench one of the screws. I wish they would just give me a new one and fix it so it’s not in my fuckin room. Other than that the flat is starting to come together and I love living there. I don’t know what it is but moving somewhere else has been so good for my wellbeing and mental health. I liked living with Lucy and Diana but I went through a very bad time in my life in that flat and it was filled with so many shitty memories and bad associations. It feels relieving to have a place to myself and make it my own and have no memories here. Ok well my friend used to live in the flat before I did and I stayed there briefly when I was between flats in summer 2015 and I was sick on the living room floor and on the bathmat buuuut it so doesn’t feel like the same flat. It’s good!

anonymous asked:

Oh gosh I had the worst weekend ever. While it was good for my mental health, it ruined my schedule. I went shopping with friends on Saturday and hung out with family. The only productive thing I did was summarize some stuff for economy. I have tests for maths, physics, and economy coming up. Maths and physics are my worst subjects... I have a dentist appointment so I'll miss math on Monday, but I'll probably have to do it on Wednesday regardless. I feel so stressed and tired.

The worst weekend ever? It sounds like you needed it. If it was good for your mental health, do not feel bad about it. I know the feeling of wanting to relax, but also feeling like I need to spend every moment that I can on school stuff, but that’s not healthy.
And don’t forget that you did do something school related and even though it seems like it is only a small thing, you at least did something. You also couldn’t have done anything, but instead, you decided to do something anyway.

How much time do you have left until the tests for maths, physics and economy? Write down everything that you need to do and divide it realistically over the days you have left until the tests and try to work from the latest topics back to the first topics discussed in your class. The latest topics are most likely to be the most difficult one and if you understand those, the first topics will be a lot more easier to go through!

Also keep in mind to get enough sleep and relax throughout the day. Your mental health is priority number 1!
Keep me updated on how things are going with your tests!! xoxo

I went out last night

And damn I’m so tired/hungover.

It really tops off a terrible week for me with disordered (binge) eating and skipping the gym. And I really think my eating is that bad now that it’s nearing binge eating disorder. I still believe I can get it under control myself though.

It really has an effect on my mental health too and I don’t feel good about myself. The gym and going to group fitness classes is also a social outlet for me, so when I don’t go I feel disconnected from people.

I’m still in bed (it’s 11:20am) but I have to force myself to get up and shower and do meal prep 😩

anonymous asked:

So I've been a pretty good student for a while now and from the beginning I was basically at the top of my class but when I started this semester, my mental health wasn't really on my side so I wasn't doing as well to start with but by the time my final rolled around I managed to get the highest score. Our grades are cumulative though so with previous tests included, I wasn't near honours but my professors curved me by 5% to a 90% average because they believe in me and I can't help feel shitty

please don’t feel bad bub!! u deserve to get good grades, u worked hard and ur professors are right to believe in u. ur smart, hardworking and strong and i know u’ll be able to get through this slump. just please don’t give up on yourself, or think that you’re undeserving or whatever bc you deserve good things in life, ok???

*✧·゚:* IT’S SLEEPOVER TIME! *:·゚✧* send me an ask about anything - lets get to know each other better!

Unfortunate News

I was hoping I wouldn’t have to be the bearer of bad news, but here we are.
I was hoping I wouldn’t have to call upon the kindness of others. More so considering I’ve asked way too goddamn much as it is. But I regret to say we’re being evicted from our current home.
Essentially we’ll be homeless. No “what ifs” no “We can barely make it one more month for something”

We originally had till the end of this month, but we managed to get an extra 10 day extension to organize a EVERYTHING MUST FUCKING GO yard sale.
We’re selling pretty much all our furniture and appliances just to muster up enough money to move out and find a temporary place to stay till we can find the means to get back on our feet.

I’m so angry that everything ended up like this regardless of the outpouring support from my friends, family, and people who happen to like my work.
My father earlier/middle of this month actually was supposed to have a job! He was called, interviewed, and even had a contract signed by him and his future employers! We were happy! things started to finally turn around for the better. We were even confident enough that we took a title loan ($800) on our  only car  we have left to get the money to have my dad drive to his training for this job!
Not even two days after my dad comes home, he receives an email saying  “Sorry, but we’re thinking of going into a different direction”.
In short: They backed out on us. He does not have one. We thought this was a 100% sure thing and we didn’t even consider  making plans to move out because we thought we had this.
So here we are, too late to find anything new. No new leads that would benefit us today or any time soon.
We have plans but we unfortunately will not be able to put them into motion in time to keep us with a roof over our heads.

I don’t know the exact days of our yard sale yet. I’ll post them here as soon as I know. We live in the Rossville Georgia area.  Just in case anyone was wondering where I currently live.

I’m hoping the Yard Sale and what we can throw up on Craigslist/Ebay will be enough for a moderate/small moving van and enough funds for my family to find a place to stay for the time we need. (We’re praying for something close to 2k, so we can pay off the title loan so our only car isn’t repo’d)

I’m not making this post for me. I’m making this for my family who desperately need help so they’re not living straight out of our car with no means to go anywhere.
I’m not worried about myself. I’m fortunate enough to have my best friend GK take me into her and her mom’s house for several months so I’m not adding to the cost of living for my family. (I plan on opening up commissions/a redbubble store as soon as I’m settled in)

I’m sorry to even have to post this kind of thing again. I had honestly thought I wouldn’t have to do this and that we’d be slowly paying back the money we owe people. Every. Single. Dime of what we gathered from Gofundme went to bills, attempting to pay back rent, and the most bare minimum of food so we could afford to keep stuff on like water and electricity.

I hate that I’m pretty much known to be “the girl who begs a lot” but right now I don’t give a fuck about my reputation. I give a fuck about my family not having a place to stay in the coming months.

You’re not required, but I would greatly appreciate some help if the Yard Sale/Craigslist/Ebay route ends up being less than what we expected.
I’ve set up a donation button on the side bar of my tumblr. I’ll even leave a link to my mother’s pay pal here. (
None of this is going to me in any way. I didn’t link to the gofundme site since we need help sooner rather than later and gofundme takes a % of the donations and deposits it on a weekly basis.

With that said, I’m going to be pretty MIA for the coming weeks, but I’ll keep you guys posted on when the yard sale takes place so we can hopefully get some success from there.

so i’m in a trans guy group on facebook and they’re saying so many mixed things about the plastic surgeons at the hospital i’m at and i’m also pretty conflicted about which kind of top surgery i wanna get

they said i can get the small one, the periareolar technique, but there’s such a high risk of it not working out and needing a correction but on the other hand there’s such limited scar tissue compared to the big one

my body heals so slow and i get massive scars really easily so i know that if i get the big operation then i could end up with such big scars and i don’t know what would happen to my mental health if i’d do that

so it’s 

  • minimal scarring vs. possible bad result & corrections or
  • good result vs. possible really bad scarring and slow healing process

i hate being an adult i hate having to work just to survive i hate that my mental health is in pieces right now for no real reason and that i can’t take a week off of work and stay in my bed and not speak to anyone and not shower and just be alone with myself i hate that i probably know why i’m like this and i hate that i can’t fix myself and i hate that i get so bad when everything is so good and my life is so good and i hate that i’m so strong and confident and it all falls apart like this for one night i hate it