so good but so bad for my mental health

I could write a whole book about my bad mental health, but I don’t think that would be very helpful so I’m just gonna tell you this: you are going to have good days, and you are going to have bad days. So take the most from your good days; laugh till your stomach hurts, make silly jokes and be kind to strangers. It will be a remainder for your bad days that you still have a chance on happiness.
—  giulswrites

Keith doodle based on my “Keith wore contact lenses up until he left the Garrison!AU/HC”

…. Welp that title is a mouthful, geez…

Anyways hope you guys enjoy~

PS: yes, his hair is into a ponytail at the base of the neck because of reasons

you guys im so happy i really had forgotten what it actually feels like to be consistently happy and content and to not feel lonely or be weighed down by anxiety and depression, but i’m so happy i feel so happy i can truly say that it gets better and know it’s true oh wow is it true

I could write a whole book about my bad mental health, but I don’t think that would be very helpful so I’m just gonna tell you this: you are going to have good days, and you are going to have bad days. So take the most from your good days; laugh till your stomach hurts, make silly jokes and be kind to strangers. It will be a remainder for your bad days that you still have a chance on happiness.
—  giulswrites

can u imagine being a killing stalking blogger ,,, like i only read a couple of chapters and it was the most stressful & gross experience of my life ,,,, how tough do u have to be to blog about it im

anonymous asked:

I used to be considered a "gifted" writer, winning contests and getting praise all throughout my school days... but I've lost it, completely. I have little to no desire to write, what I do write is forced and ugly and plain... It's writer's block that has been going on for years! I don't have a lack of ideas, it's literally just a forgotten skill. Do you have any advice on long-term writer's block? Or maybe an explanation?

Darling, don’t waste time worrying if you’re not “gifted” anymore because, I promise you, you still are.

Originally posted by shawnhollenbach

I know that I have that same tendency, too.  When it’s been a while since I’ve written and I can’t get back into it, my automatic thought is, “I lost it.  I had it and I lost it.  I might as well join Corporate America because my soul is dead.”

But there are a lot of explanations for why your writing isn’t coming out how you want!  I’ll list a few of them below…


Explanations for Writer’s Block

  • You’re out of practice.  I can tell a difference in my “skill” after a week without writing – so if it’s been years?  You’re probably very rusty.  If this is the reason you’re struggling, my advice is to push through and write crap.  Even if it disappoints you or you sit there thinking, “This is terrible this is terrible this is the worst,” just do it.  Just force yourself through it.  Eventually, I promise from experience, something halfway decent will come out.  And it’ll get better from there.
  • You’re lacking confidence.  Another big ailment of mine – if I haven’t written something I liked in a while, I can count myself out before I start.  So even if I push through and write, I either self-edit the whole time or I delete it when I’m done.  That creates the effect of Returning to Square One, which negates my work in the first place.  If this is the case for you, my advice is to look closely and find something to like about your writing.  Even in The Worst writing I’ve ever done (and trust me, 2013 me was a nightmare to read), I’ve found a way to compliment myself.  So read your stuff like you’re critiquing a five-year old.  You’re not gonna sit there and tell a kid, “Dude this sh*t sucks lol delete your account.”
  • You’re clinging to old ideas and old methods.  If you “used to” write for X fandom or you “used to” write before class every day, that’s not a good enough reason to keep doing it.  If you “used to” write without an outline or you “used to” feel like a damn wizard when you wrote, that doesn’t mean you’re able to do that now.  And that doesn’t mean your talent has decreased.  Writers are different in every new season – adjust for yourself.  Stop expecting yourself to work under ancient systems and expectations.
  • You feel uncomfortable with your author’s voice.  This can be a simple matter of feeling inadequate/nervous – or you could even be annoyed with your own voice/writing style.  This can worsen the more you read other classic books with “better” voices and compare yourself.  If this is the case, my usual technique is to try to “rewire” my voice – try a different POV style or tense.  This can change how your voice sounds, which can make it easier for you and your narration to play nice together.
  • You can’t find the right character.  This sounds like a small issue, but it makes a huge difference.  If you’re unable to find/create a relatable or likable character, you’ll feel uncomfortable no matter what story you write.  It’s like if a principal ballerina were to try to perform her signature piece in a smelly school mascot costume.  You know what to do, but you’re just not in the right outfit!  So it feels clumsy.  It makes it hard to see how you look or what you’re doing wrong.  It makes you feel like a bad ballerina!  So try taking the time to find a good character.  Fanfiction can be a good transitioning activity for you – pick your favorite book/movie/TV character and write in their POV until you feel comfortable again.
  • You’re mentally or emotionally unhealthy.  This sounds judgy, but trust me – 90% of my writer’s block crops up in times of poor mental health or emotional stress.  Just like you can’t play baseball with broken ankles, you can’t write if your heart or your brain aren’t up to snuff.  So assess yourself for undue stress, depression, anxiety (my big one), or mental exhaustion.  Beyond that, make sure your heart isn’t clogged – so to say, make sure you’re emotionally accessible for writing.  If you’re deep in grieving, dissociating, or facing any kind of emotional blockage, your writing is definitely going to suffer.  It might be best to take time to work on these issues – otherwise you’re trying to row a boat with holes in it.

These are some of the main ones I’ve encountered in my time – and they’re definitely not the only explanations.  If none of these ideas help you to get started again, be sure to message me!  I’d love to discuss it with you personally :)  I know how awful that limbo can feel and I definitely want to help if I can.

Thanks again, and happy writing (hopefully)! <3


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask me!

anonymous asked:

Just my two cents: as someone whose been overweight for many years due to mental health issues, Harry Potter was where I came to escape. What I've come to realise is that the way weight is used in terms of character notes has had a huge impact on how I view my weight in relation to if I'm a good or bad person. I don't care if JKR intentionally did what she did, but I've felt like a bad/irrelevant person for so long bc of how those characters are portrayed. These kinds portrayals hurt people.

This is going to be pretty much the last ask published on this particular matter, but anon, I totally feel you on this one. It’s really easy to internalise all of these negative images about yourself because of your weight, and it can be so damaging to your mental and physical health when you have this self-image based on negative media portrayals. I know I’ve had these issues, and I’m sure there are plenty of other people who have experienced this. Thanks for being brave enough to share, anon.

3

This post is going to be 100 % honest. On the outside this is how I am. Happy, joyful and full of love. On the inside I am not that person, I am anxious all of the time, I have a hard time getting through the day, I try my hardest for people not to see what is on the inside. I have good days and bad days and on these good days I feel so much joy throughout my whole body and on my bad days I just want to stay in bed all day and not move. Taylor you have gotten me through some of these really bad days. Thank you for that. I guess what I’m really trying to say is anxiety is a big mental health issue for individuals daily and you never know what someone has been through, so it’s never okay to put people down no matter how shit your day is. Thank you for this Taylor! You’ve given me the courage to speak out on this matter. ❤️❤️ @taylorswift

2

hi pretties 🌷💕

may is almost over kids, which means i have waited all of mental health month to share own my story! when i first started this blog, i mentioned that i had some issues in high school but i never really shared about them.

i got depressed for the first time when i was a sophomore. i didn’t have much friends and i was painfully shy so i had a really hard time socializing with anyone but the few friends i already had growing up. not being given much attention made me feel a little insecure, sorta like i wasn’t good enough. i had never been confident, and i developed a habit of comparing myself to other girls. because of this, i became extremely self conscious about my looks, especially my body. at this time, i was at a healthy weight; i didn’t overeat and never in my life was i overweight, but comparison and insecurity got the best of me.

it started with me wanting to lose just a few pounds. i didn’t have much knowledge about healthy eating and weight loss, but simply eating less was how it began (this is also when i started running). overall, i just wanted to look and feel more fit. what i didn’t realize was that i was becoming obsessive about it. i wouldn’t finish meals or i would skip them; i stayed away from certain foods, even foods i used to eat all the time. i even tried counting calories everyday, how much i was eating and how much i was burning. i thought i was doing myself good, but by the time i was early into my junior year, “a few pounds” became 20. this made me feel tired, depressed, even scared of eating like a normal person. all i remember from my junior year and the summer after is being unhappy with my life. i tried to fill the void with guys, partying, being around people i shouldn’t have been, and on top of all this i was completely faking my confidence; i’d cry because i hated myself then walk into a room and act like i loved myself more than anyone.

when senior year rolled around, i knew i had an eating disorder. i knew that i was unhealthy, and if i kept doing what i was doing, i was going to end up in the hospital. that was the year that i started trying to overcome these habits (notice i said TRYING). when i made the decision to start recovering, i had no idea that it would be so difficult. my weight began to go up and down, and it got really frustrating. some days i felt genuinely happy with my body, but other days i felt awful. i was proud of myself, though, because no matter how hard it was, i never let myself starve again. 

the end of my senior year and that summer is a story for another time. but i went through a lot and i met people who helped me become who i am today. i also found out that i am a lot tougher than i look! i’ve become truly happy with who i am, and i am genuinely myself again. i am able to run because i like to run, not because i’m trying to lose weight. i eat whatever i want, whenever i’m hungry (so cake). and although anorexia doesn’t consume my life anymore and i’m healthier than i used to be, i’m still recovering from those painful two years. sometimes i have my bad days, but i always end up finding a way to pick myself up.

so if you’re still reading (thanks💕), please remember to take care of yourself, whether that means staying alive another day or simply eating breakfast. and i don’t care if it feels like the whole damn world has given up on you, don’t give up on yourself. your life is worth so much more than that asshole in your head that keeps telling you you’re not good enough.

so there you go friends, my first personal story about my mental health journey! thank you for those of you who stuck through it all, i know i’m not the best writer in town but i like to tell stories! 🙆🏻
(another thanks for your support)
🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Petty Much?

I work at a pizza place, right? Well, the store has gone through managers like crazy. I was taken in and made an assistant manager where - unfortunately - I didn’t get much training. It was stressful but I managed to scrape by. Eventually, though, the store had to have a manager on site, as per inspector’s instructions. So one of the store owners takes the position (I swear, I think they drew straws) and turns things around. Some were good, some were bad. But mostly bad and we were losing employees fast. The store needs a good fifteen people to operate but we ended up with EIGHT. It was stressful. I was pulling 10-13 hour shifts and my body and mental health were taking a beating.

So I threatened to quit if things didn’t get fixed. The owner didn’t hure anybody and basically let us suffer so I put in my two weeks. I was done. That’s when the petty game starts. First, money went missing, not sure when it went missing, but I was in charge that day. I was immediately banned from registers and money (I can’t do my job unless I handle money??) And I know she didn’t outright accuse me of stealing but she thought it. It ended up a running gag that I was a thief (I started that one. That’s when the employees started to see how I was being treated.) Then, on a very short staffed day, I asked someone to come in and help. You’d think I’d have the authority to do so, I was still Assistant. And we got out on time! If I hadn’t have them come in, I would have been there from open to close.

Well, I wake up to an angry text, getting yelled at for asking someone to come in. I was confused?? But okay. I stood ul for myself and said that I can’t physically work twelve hours a day, my body and mental health can’t handle it. Then the store owner decided to cut my hours. I was 40 and then I was 27. Okay?? Definitely trying my patience. So I started getting more petty. I stopped talking to the owner. I only did what she said and greeted her and said goodbye. No small talk. She picked up on that. I turned in all of my keys. I had no use for them anymore.

Well, today, the schedule was sent out. I wasn’t on there at all for my last week. I’ve worked at a few places and this is the first time this happened. I was upset and angry. I asked about it in the group chat but got no answer, instead she answered a different employee’s question. I was fed up at that point and asked when I should turn in my uniform and had a cover for today. I was done. Ugh.

Please read

Hey guys. So… I’ve been thinking. 
I create content pretty much everyday, spend hours and hours on it and I get your notes, your gratitude, amazing comments and I love it, don’t get me wrong… but this won’t pay for my medications. I’m 21, have no job and I still have to ask my mom for money. She pays for my meds, for my clothes, for everything and I feel like shit about it. We’re not rich. We don’t really have much money. My dad had to leave to work in Germany because his job here wasn’t good enough anymore. And yeah, it’s easy to say “just look for a job lol”, the thing is I have been looking but I’m not in good health. I’m struggling with several mental illnesses that make my normal life hard enough, not even mentioning actually going out to people and working. Not with social anxiety that suddenly got worse. I’m taking various meds, I’m going to therapy and I’m seeing psychiatrist every month. It all costs money and I feel so bad when my mom has to pay for it. That’s why I’m considering adding ad.fly to my links… Don’t get scared, just one, not two. If you have adfly skipper it would take you straight to the download so yeah… I would have to make a wixsite or something, cause tumblr doesn’t allow that. It’s gonna take a lot of work. But I’m actually writing this to ask for your opinion. Would you be okay with that?

I love how everyone’s perception of health and fitness is alway evolving to include mental health and not just physical strength/being lean/being thin etc.

I’ve always felt out of place, uncomfortable and anxious when out, when in groups, when faced with doing something new or out of my routine. I manifested this anxiety in very self destructive ways; over and under eating, purging, excessive (sometimes 3 times a day!) trips to the gym and self harm.

Although I still struggle with some of these problems day-to-day, the feeling of isolation is far less since discovering this amazing (most of the time, don’t get me wrong, tumblr isn’t perfect) site and community. I feel safe on here when I’m having a bad day, I feel welcome, appreciated and encouraged on here.

Finding other people who struggle with mental health, and who are ensuring that they live their best lives are my everyday role models.

Girls like @aubernutter like @oatsnjen and so so many others are so jaw droppingly inspiring that it makes me so happy to see how far they have come and how much peace they have found in the last few years, and even more that they are still so open about both their good AND bad days.

Girls. I both salute and thank you, and so many others like you, for making me (and I imagine many many others) feel safe, and not alone in this fight.

Jared answering a question about healthy coping mechanisms:

[I just watched this panel and I thought it was important to type up Jared’s response to a question a fan had.]

In response to the question: “Have you guys ever had, like, some kind of unhealthy coping mechanisms and how did you get out of it?”

Jared: “That’s a huge, that’s a huge, huge, huge, wildly important question. And very, very, very, very near and dear to me and my heart and my family and my soul. Unhealthy coping mechanisms are…. very unhealthy.”

Jensen: “We established that.”

Jared: “Yeah. I consulted and still consult a professional—a doctor— about how to cope more properly with pain and sadness and depression and with anxiety. It gets really scary sometimes. The world’s a scary— it can be a scary place. Even from where I stand, you know? And I’m a six foot four white dude who has [a beard], you know? Like, I get— and I get pretty scared sometimes, and I get pretty worried. And sometimes my wife isn’t there to tell me it’s alright, sometimes [my boys] aren’t there to tell me it’s alright, sometimes my friends aren’t there to tell me it’s alright, and I, I choose to listen to the bad instead of the good. So I went to a professional and am proud of it.
I’m certainly not qualified to give proper advice, but to say— I hope this doesn’t sound like a cop-out—but to say, if I want to learn how to be a kickboxer, I would go to a kickboxing professional. If I want to learn how to be a nutritionist, I would go to a nutritionist. It I want to know how to be a surgeon, I would go to medical school. I wanted to learn how to take care of my mental health, so I went to a mental health professional. And I’m proud of it.
And I truly wish that for everybody. I think there’s a weird stigma right now where if you go like, ‘hey,’ if you say, ‘I’ve got cancer, so I went to a doctor.’ People are like, ‘Well, yeah!’ But if you say like, ‘Hey, man, I’ve got some wild anxiety.’ They’re like, ‘Oh! Well, just relax.’ You know? Which doesn’t make sense. I think we’re moving in the right direction as a society. But there was something going on in my head that I wasn’t controlling, that is not dead today, you know? So I go to— I go to a doctor, you know? Because something’s going on and I just want to get answers. There’s not— there’s no shame. There’s no like, ‘Oh, you know I talked to somebody about I’m feelings sad.’ ‘What?! Why are you sad, you know? You’re rich!’ or whatever, you know what I mean? F*** that. F*** that.
So I say to everybody that one of my greatest blessings in life was realizing before it was too late that I wanted to figure out what was going on in my head. So that’s my answer.”

So my first university essay is due tonight and I’m so excited! But also nervous, because I’m still writing it! But mainly excited! After all the problems with my mental health this year, it’s sooo good to actually see myself achieve this, even if it’s the most basic academic achievement ever. 

Like, 12 weeks ago I was in a psychiatric ward. I’ve come so far and I’m not ashamed to say that I’m proud of myself!

It just goes to show that no matter how bad things look, there is always hope.

How do I change my life?

My life is stuck in the same place for so many years. How do I change my life? I don’t have any friends and I don’t really get along with people around me & even if I try to talk to them they just ignore. So uts kinda annoying. I’m just so lonely and sad. Idk what to do. How do I change my life? Advice?

My 2017 so far!

Why am I doing this? Well, I have mental health problems, the main one being borderline personality disorder which greatly affects my emotions and I wanted to track my overall emotions for a day. This tracker goes along with my journal so I can look back at, say, yesterday’s square and see its says a good day, then go to yesterday in my journal and see what I did it what happened to see what made me okay, same with the bad days. I’m using it as a way of figuring out my triggers for both good and bad moods .

anonymous asked:

I'm a really bad student but I wanna change that, so... can you give me some tips for improve my grades?

hey love!! that’s honestly so awesome that you want to start to change your study habits, i’d love to help! i generally manage to keep good grades (somehow) so i’m going to share a few of the resources and habits that i personally find helpful <3 best of luck to you!!


starting to improve grades

- if any of your teachers offer test corrections or retakes, make use of that

- if there’s extra credit, get on that!!! it might not be worth a lot but anything helps

- ask your teachers for help if you’re having trouble with a concept. they’re there to assist you, talk to them!!

- in fact, talk to teachers in general- your school life will get so much easier if you’re on your teacher’s good side. i used to hate english until i made friends with my english teacher, and they might even end up going a lil easy on you!

- try to figure out why your grades aren’t what you want them to be. are you disorganized?? do you procrastinate?? are you struggling with the material??

- get an organization system that works for you (for example, i use a binder and separate notebook for each class), then organize and plan everything. this is the only way i keep my life together

- seriously, get yourself a planner. your grades/life/general sanity will be so grateful


at school

- try to sit in the front row or close to the instructor. this will keep you focused and give you the initiative to pay attention!

- be an active participant in class. take notes, answer questions, really make sure to understand what’s going on!! and if you don’t, ask for help

- do every assignment!! (where possible, of course, sometimes things come up) if homework is worth 10% of your grade and you never do any of it, the highest score you can get in the class would be a 90% ( and that’s if you had flawless scores on EVERYTHING else). the little assignments can add up to make a big difference!

- don’t skip class, either. mental health days are so important, but don’t let a mental health day turn into a mental health week! if you do have to miss class for some reason, make sure to get the missed work made up as soon as possible and get the notes from a reliable friend

- always keep a water bottle handy. hydration is so so so important!!! your body and your brain will thank you

- clean out your binders/backpack every so often so it doesn’t get too cluttered/heavy. i recently had to get an x-ray for a possible stress fracture caused by my backpack, so i strongly advise this. take out any graded assignments/old papers and file them in a safe place at home!

- pack everything you’ll need for school the night before so you aren’t scrambling in the morning!

- if you’re taking notes during a lecture and your teacher writes something on the board, write that shit down. if they wrote it, they consider it to be important. take the hint!

- figure out how your teacher works and what they look for. once you learn that, you can work the system and excel! this especially works for things such as essays/presentations


general studying tips

- my masterpost on how to begin studying

- figure out what type of a learner you are and use that to your advantage! if you learn best by reading or writing, make flashcards, if you prefer absorbing information by listening, record yourself reading off your notes, etc.

- study a little bit each day and revise often!! you’ll thank yourself around exam time, trust me

- plan out your study sessions beforehand!! you’re much more likely to actually get stuff done if you say “i have to study for algebra for two hours on wednesday” rather than “i have to study for algebra sometime this week”

- when i have a lecture or just a generally content-heavy day, i rewrite my notes as soon as i get home from school. this way i can review the material as well as make the notes more clear/concise!

- if you’re the type that studies well with others, get together with some friends and have a group study session before a big test/exam!! get some snacks, pjs, chill music, and go over notes & tutor each other

- don’t study for more than 5-6 hours per day. your brain will get overtired and you’ll stop processing information as well. study smart, don’t study more

- amazing school masterpost by @merakinotes 

- complete guide to studying well by @scholarlysquad !

- 101 study tips by @areistotle !!


studying/school resources

- my study sounds masterpost

- answers/explanations of textbook questions !!!!!!!

- google, but for finding academic articles

- write 100 words and be rewarded with a kitten picture (aka all the motivation you ever need to write an essay)

“why should i study?”

- step by step math solver

- another one!!

- chemical equation balancer


i hope you find some of these helpful!! best of luck to you love <3 go and get those dream grades, i believe in you!!

2

9/11/2017 i am almost four weeks into the fall semester and i have to admit that i’m not as on top of things as i planned to be. i am forgetting to take online quizzes, cramming the night before, not using my planner like i should, and not doing readings when i am assigned. i known this is really bad, so i’ve been looking for ways to get back on track. one of my friends does a whole bunch of homework & studying in a day, so that she can have days for her mental health. maybe i’ll try that. i don’t know. i have a Spanish test tomorrow, which i actually feel prepared for. that’s good. i guess? these pictures are kind of old lol