so good but so bad for my mental health

anonymous asked:

hey!! just wanted to remind u that while we all appreciate ur advice and we love u, u r not responsible for our mental health and therefore u should never feel bad if you can't respond to an ask quickly or at all!!! don't feel like it's ur responsibility and don't let it strain u my friend!! much love xx

aw man thank you, i really appreciate that :) i always stress about anons and how to answer them when they contain such serious subject matters so that’s really reassuring to here, ily!! it means a lot to me n ur super lovely for being so kind. hope you’re good btw and having an awesome day xx

anonymous asked:

Just my two cents: as someone whose been overweight for many years due to mental health issues, Harry Potter was where I came to escape. What I've come to realise is that the way weight is used in terms of character notes has had a huge impact on how I view my weight in relation to if I'm a good or bad person. I don't care if JKR intentionally did what she did, but I've felt like a bad/irrelevant person for so long bc of how those characters are portrayed. These kinds portrayals hurt people.

This is going to be pretty much the last ask published on this particular matter, but anon, I totally feel you on this one. It’s really easy to internalise all of these negative images about yourself because of your weight, and it can be so damaging to your mental and physical health when you have this self-image based on negative media portrayals. I know I’ve had these issues, and I’m sure there are plenty of other people who have experienced this. Thanks for being brave enough to share, anon.

anonymous asked:

I used to be considered a "gifted" writer, winning contests and getting praise all throughout my school days... but I've lost it, completely. I have little to no desire to write, what I do write is forced and ugly and plain... It's writer's block that has been going on for years! I don't have a lack of ideas, it's literally just a forgotten skill. Do you have any advice on long-term writer's block? Or maybe an explanation?

Darling, don’t waste time worrying if you’re not “gifted” anymore because, I promise you, you still are.

Originally posted by shawnhollenbach

I know that I have that same tendency, too.  When it’s been a while since I’ve written and I can’t get back into it, my automatic thought is, “I lost it.  I had it and I lost it.  I might as well join Corporate America because my soul is dead.”

But there are a lot of explanations for why your writing isn’t coming out how you want!  I’ll list a few of them below…


Explanations for Writer’s Block

  • You’re out of practice.  I can tell a difference in my “skill” after a week without writing – so if it’s been years?  You’re probably very rusty.  If this is the reason you’re struggling, my advice is to push through and write crap.  Even if it disappoints you or you sit there thinking, “This is terrible this is terrible this is the worst,” just do it.  Just force yourself through it.  Eventually, I promise from experience, something halfway decent will come out.  And it’ll get better from there.
  • You’re lacking confidence.  Another big ailment of mine – if I haven’t written something I liked in a while, I can count myself out before I start.  So even if I push through and write, I either self-edit the whole time or I delete it when I’m done.  That creates the effect of Returning to Square One, which negates my work in the first place.  If this is the case for you, my advice is to look closely and find something to like about your writing.  Even in The Worst writing I’ve ever done (and trust me, 2013 me was a nightmare to read), I’ve found a way to compliment myself.  So read your stuff like you’re critiquing a five-year old.  You’re not gonna sit there and tell a kid, “Dude this sh*t sucks lol delete your account.”
  • You’re clinging to old ideas and old methods.  If you “used to” write for X fandom or you “used to” write before class every day, that’s not a good enough reason to keep doing it.  If you “used to” write without an outline or you “used to” feel like a damn wizard when you wrote, that doesn’t mean you’re able to do that now.  And that doesn’t mean your talent has decreased.  Writers are different in every new season – adjust for yourself.  Stop expecting yourself to work under ancient systems and expectations.
  • You feel uncomfortable with your author’s voice.  This can be a simple matter of feeling inadequate/nervous – or you could even be annoyed with your own voice/writing style.  This can worsen the more you read other classic books with “better” voices and compare yourself.  If this is the case, my usual technique is to try to “rewire” my voice – try a different POV style or tense.  This can change how your voice sounds, which can make it easier for you and your narration to play nice together.
  • You can’t find the right character.  This sounds like a small issue, but it makes a huge difference.  If you’re unable to find/create a relatable or likable character, you’ll feel uncomfortable no matter what story you write.  It’s like if a principal ballerina were to try to perform her signature piece in a smelly school mascot costume.  You know what to do, but you’re just not in the right outfit!  So it feels clumsy.  It makes it hard to see how you look or what you’re doing wrong.  It makes you feel like a bad ballerina!  So try taking the time to find a good character.  Fanfiction can be a good transitioning activity for you – pick your favorite book/movie/TV character and write in their POV until you feel comfortable again.
  • You’re mentally or emotionally unhealthy.  This sounds judgy, but trust me – 90% of my writer’s block crops up in times of poor mental health or emotional stress.  Just like you can’t play baseball with broken ankles, you can’t write if your heart or your brain aren’t up to snuff.  So assess yourself for undue stress, depression, anxiety (my big one), or mental exhaustion.  Beyond that, make sure your heart isn’t clogged – so to say, make sure you’re emotionally accessible for writing.  If you’re deep in grieving, dissociating, or facing any kind of emotional blockage, your writing is definitely going to suffer.  It might be best to take time to work on these issues – otherwise you’re trying to row a boat with holes in it.

These are some of the main ones I’ve encountered in my time – and they’re definitely not the only explanations.  If none of these ideas help you to get started again, be sure to message me!  I’d love to discuss it with you personally :)  I know how awful that limbo can feel and I definitely want to help if I can.

Thanks again, and happy writing (hopefully)! <3


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask me!

Please read

Hey guys. So… I’ve been thinking. 
I create content pretty much everyday, spend hours and hours on it and I get your notes, your gratitude, amazing comments and I love it, don’t get me wrong… but this won’t pay for my medications. I’m 21, have no job and I still have to ask my mom for money. She pays for my meds, for my clothes, for everything and I feel like shit about it. We’re not rich. We don’t really have much money. My dad had to leave to work in Germany because his job here wasn’t good enough anymore. And yeah, it’s easy to say “just look for a job lol”, the thing is I have been looking but I’m not in good health. I’m struggling with several mental illnesses that make my normal life hard enough, not even mentioning actually going out to people and working. Not with social anxiety that suddenly got worse. I’m taking various meds, I’m going to therapy and I’m seeing psychiatrist every month. It all costs money and I feel so bad when my mom has to pay for it. That’s why I’m considering adding ad.fly to my links… Don’t get scared, just one, not two. If you have adfly skipper it would take you straight to the download so yeah… I would have to make a wixsite or something, cause tumblr doesn’t allow that. It’s gonna take a lot of work. But I’m actually writing this to ask for your opinion. Would you be okay with that?

2

hi pretties 🌷💕

may is almost over kids, which means i have waited all of mental health month to share own my story! when i first started this blog, i mentioned that i had some issues in high school but i never really shared about them.

i got depressed for the first time when i was a sophomore. i didn’t have much friends and i was painfully shy so i had a really hard time socializing with anyone but the few friends i already had growing up. not being given much attention made me feel a little insecure, sorta like i wasn’t good enough. i had never been confident, and i developed a habit of comparing myself to other girls. because of this, i became extremely self conscious about my looks, especially my body. at this time, i was at a healthy weight; i didn’t overeat and never in my life was i overweight, but comparison and insecurity got the best of me.

it started with me wanting to lose just a few pounds. i didn’t have much knowledge about healthy eating and weight loss, but simply eating less was how it began (this is also when i started running). overall, i just wanted to look and feel more fit. what i didn’t realize was that i was becoming obsessive about it. i wouldn’t finish meals or i would skip them; i stayed away from certain foods, even foods i used to eat all the time. i even tried counting calories everyday, how much i was eating and how much i was burning. i thought i was doing myself good, but by the time i was early into my junior year, “a few pounds” became 20. this made me feel tired, depressed, even scared of eating like a normal person. all i remember from my junior year and the summer after is being unhappy with my life. i tried to fill the void with guys, partying, being around people i shouldn’t have been, and on top of all this i was completely faking my confidence; i’d cry because i hated myself then walk into a room and act like i loved myself more than anyone.

when senior year rolled around, i knew i had an eating disorder. i knew that i was unhealthy, and if i kept doing what i was doing, i was going to end up in the hospital. that was the year that i started trying to overcome these habits (notice i said TRYING). when i made the decision to start recovering, i had no idea that it would be so difficult. my weight began to go up and down, and it got really frustrating. some days i felt genuinely happy with my body, but other days i felt awful. i was proud of myself, though, because no matter how hard it was, i never let myself starve again. 

the end of my senior year and that summer is a story for another time. but i went through a lot and i met people who helped me become who i am today. i also found out that i am a lot tougher than i look! i’ve become truly happy with who i am, and i am genuinely myself again. i am able to run because i like to run, not because i’m trying to lose weight. i eat whatever i want, whenever i’m hungry (so cake). and although anorexia doesn’t consume my life anymore and i’m healthier than i used to be, i’m still recovering from those painful two years. sometimes i have my bad days, but i always end up finding a way to pick myself up.

so if you’re still reading (thanks💕), please remember to take care of yourself, whether that means staying alive another day or simply eating breakfast. and i don’t care if it feels like the whole damn world has given up on you, don’t give up on yourself. your life is worth so much more than that asshole in your head that keeps telling you you’re not good enough.

so there you go friends, my first personal story about my mental health journey! thank you for those of you who stuck through it all, i know i’m not the best writer in town but i like to tell stories! 🙆🏻
(another thanks for your support)
🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Loving and accepting your changing body is so important and frankly is something we should all celebrate! don’t feel bad or let anyone els make you feel bad for loving yourself and your body. Happy and healthy looks different on everyone, no two are the same. So screw the scale, screw restricting and punishing yourself. You have done nothing wrong! You are allowed to feel good in your own skin and think you look like a bad ass bitch. Don’t let a little number or something someone once said make you feel any less than the queen that you are.

I love how everyone’s perception of health and fitness is alway evolving to include mental health and not just physical strength/being lean/being thin etc.

I’ve always felt out of place, uncomfortable and anxious when out, when in groups, when faced with doing something new or out of my routine. I manifested this anxiety in very self destructive ways; over and under eating, purging, excessive (sometimes 3 times a day!) trips to the gym and self harm.

Although I still struggle with some of these problems day-to-day, the feeling of isolation is far less since discovering this amazing (most of the time, don’t get me wrong, tumblr isn’t perfect) site and community. I feel safe on here when I’m having a bad day, I feel welcome, appreciated and encouraged on here.

Finding other people who struggle with mental health, and who are ensuring that they live their best lives are my everyday role models.

Girls like @aubernutter like @oatsnjen and so so many others are so jaw droppingly inspiring that it makes me so happy to see how far they have come and how much peace they have found in the last few years, and even more that they are still so open about both their good AND bad days.

Girls. I both salute and thank you, and so many others like you, for making me (and I imagine many many others) feel safe, and not alone in this fight.

So my first university essay is due tonight and I’m so excited! But also nervous, because I’m still writing it! But mainly excited! After all the problems with my mental health this year, it’s sooo good to actually see myself achieve this, even if it’s the most basic academic achievement ever. 

Like, 12 weeks ago I was in a psychiatric ward. I’ve come so far and I’m not ashamed to say that I’m proud of myself!

It just goes to show that no matter how bad things look, there is always hope.

Jared answering a question about healthy coping mechanisms:

[I just watched this panel and I thought it was important to type up Jared’s response to a question a fan had.]

In response to the question: “Have you guys ever had, like, some kind of unhealthy coping mechanisms and how did you get out of it?”

Jared: “That’s a huge, that’s a huge, huge, huge, wildly important question. And very, very, very, very near and dear to me and my heart and my family and my soul. Unhealthy coping mechanisms are…. very unhealthy.”

Jensen: “We established that.”

Jared: “Yeah. I consulted and still consult a professional—a doctor— about how to cope more properly with pain and sadness and depression and with anxiety. It gets really scary sometimes. The world’s a scary— it can be a scary place. Even from where I stand, you know? And I’m a six foot four white dude who has [a beard], you know? Like, I get— and I get pretty scared sometimes, and I get pretty worried. And sometimes my wife isn’t there to tell me it’s alright, sometimes [my boys] aren’t there to tell me it’s alright, sometimes my friends aren’t there to tell me it’s alright, and I, I choose to listen to the bad instead of the good. So I went to a professional and am proud of it.
I’m certainly not qualified to give proper advice, but to say— I hope this doesn’t sound like a cop-out—but to say, if I want to learn how to be a kickboxer, I would go to a kickboxing professional. If I want to learn how to be a nutritionist, I would go to a nutritionist. It I want to know how to be a surgeon, I would go to medical school. I wanted to learn how to take care of my mental health, so I went to a mental health professional. And I’m proud of it.
And I truly wish that for everybody. I think there’s a weird stigma right now where if you go like, ‘hey,’ if you say, ‘I’ve got cancer, so I went to a doctor.’ People are like, ‘Well, yeah!’ But if you say like, ‘Hey, man, I’ve got some wild anxiety.’ They’re like, ‘Oh! Well, just relax.’ You know? Which doesn’t make sense. I think we’re moving in the right direction as a society. But there was something going on in my head that I wasn’t controlling, that is not dead today, you know? So I go to— I go to a doctor, you know? Because something’s going on and I just want to get answers. There’s not— there’s no shame. There’s no like, ‘Oh, you know I talked to somebody about I’m feelings sad.’ ‘What?! Why are you sad, you know? You’re rich!’ or whatever, you know what I mean? F*** that. F*** that.
So I say to everybody that one of my greatest blessings in life was realizing before it was too late that I wanted to figure out what was going on in my head. So that’s my answer.”

My 2017 so far!

Why am I doing this? Well, I have mental health problems, the main one being borderline personality disorder which greatly affects my emotions and I wanted to track my overall emotions for a day. This tracker goes along with my journal so I can look back at, say, yesterday’s square and see its says a good day, then go to yesterday in my journal and see what I did it what happened to see what made me okay, same with the bad days. I’m using it as a way of figuring out my triggers for both good and bad moods .

anonymous asked:

Will we ever see the TOP we thought we knew ever again? Will he ever return to music industry? Will he be okay in the long run? What if he's left alone and tries to... you know... again? I'm so scared. Nothing gives me peace of mind. I'm scared. Anything can happen. Anything.

Who knows honestly.

As someone who suffers from anxiety and depression for years I can tell you there are good days. But there are also bad days. But by having supportive people around you, by receiving therapy, it helps.

Also remember that Top has struggled for years with this. So none of this is new for him just to the public eye. If he wants to continue doing music, I’ll support him. If he doesn’t, as much as it’ll break my heart, i’ll support him. His mental health and well being is much more important than his career.

And also I want to remind people who might be going through something similar, or have struggled with mental illness themselves:
it can get better. you can rise above it. you can live a good life. you can bounce back. Do not feel ashamed and know that you are stronger than you think.

If anyone is struggling or needs someone to talk to, just know my messages are always open. I will not judge you. My blog is a safe space.

anonymous asked:

i've been using coping mechanism where i daydream that i'm a guy and it's an entire world with a consistent story and multiple characters. it's something i did even before i knew i was trans and i never realized how much it helped me, especially now that i can't wear my binder because of the plague/aka bacne and it's /that/ time of the month. but, i'm worried that relying on it so much could be bad for my mental health in the long run. if it could be, do you have any advice? - isaac

If it helps you, then do it, but recognize:

A. You’re a guy right now. You always have been, regardless of genitals.

B. It’s good to fantasize if it helps you, but don’t get so lost in it. Don’t spend hours and hours a day fantasizing.

Thanks in part to some lovely people being lovely to me on here, and an unrelated-to-meltdown long wonderful AO3 review, I lifted even further upwards and am feeling better, but more importantly, so much more like myself. It feels really good. So, thanks for the boost ;)

I know (hope?) I say this a lot, but I really, really appreciate this community.

Also, side note… For one reason and another I’ve ended up with some weird baggage about “not bad enough”/”should be recovered” and so on and so forth (I mean, don’t we all) about disordered eating, even though that was a problem for me in my late teens that I found very concerning and really attacked with both fists, and was the first mental health issue I got involved in social media/awareness/activism online and off around. Plus I DID make a lot of progress, so it’s easy to dismiss as a minor problem in comparison with larger current things I’m dealing with. 

But I think this weekend made me realize that for whatever reasons I AM struggling with it again, and the first time around, the online ED and body positive social media/blogosphere was a huuuuge help to me in rewiring my brain and feeling supportive, and it’s silly to cut myself off from that kind of support I know works because it’s “not as bad now” or because of whatever baggage. (For one, no problem is too small, and for two, disordered eating is sort of a classic “slippery slope” MI, so addressing it head-on NOW is a good idea). So, expect some body positive/disordered eating reblogs and such (tagged appropriately :)

(That ended up as a long side note! But wow, I read it over (because I read Everything over before posting) and I feel like I sound more like myself? Which sounds odd for me to say ABOUT myself, since usually one hears that idiom as someone saying “You do/don’t sound like yourself” to someone else, but I swear I was watching myself type and think earlier and just thinking “Who is she? what is happening?” Which thankfully doesn’t happen to me very often; I assume it’s some flavor of dissociation or something. Or just low blood sugar and sadness; who knows. Anyway, not to be over-dramatic about my goofy brain doing its goofy brain things, but it’s nice to be back, as it were. :)

why are yall so fucking depressing. stop talking about suicide so much. eat a few crackers

fun fact: openly talking about how horrible you feel and begging for attention spreads bad vibes and makes others feel awful too 

fun fact #2: recovery is, despite popular opinion, good for you. stop wallowing in your own perfectly avoidable mess for attention 

fun fact #3: logging on to angst hour is neither fun nor sociable. i avoid it for my mental health, thus i start avoiding you 

because if your “socialisation” is 90% bitching about how horrible your life is, guess what? i won’t want to talk to you! 

that shit inevitably leads to a) oppression olympics, b) me giving support, or c) awkward “haha yeah"s. NONE of them are fun. 

"morcant why” im in therapy for childhood trauma and highly dissociative c-ptsd why do you THINK im saying it. hint: not therapy

its fucking POSSIBLE to manage a pd and dissociation without saying “but my disorder!" 

i’m in a bad mood tonight and i’m sick of seeing this shit everywhere. tumblr irl facebook it’s everywhere. come on. 

MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR UNHEALTHY OR ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR. FULL STOP. 

and quite frankly if you don’t like me saying that you can unfriend me! ☺️ 

pds and other mental illness provide REASONS and SYMPTOMS. NOT EXCUSES!! 

i ranted on fb using that coloured backgruond feature a couple of days ago cause my feed was full of depressing messages and negativity and i was fuckin sick of it. i’m still proud of this

anonymous asked:

zoo, I have really bad social anxiety. I've had it since fourth grade and it's still not gone. I've tried almost everything. I'm starting freshman year after summer and I'm so anxious that the anxiety won't be gone before then. It was so bad that I had to do the rest of eighth grade online and it sucked. I was so sad and alone. Sometimes I still feel like that. Our last resort is medication if the thing we're trying now doesn't work. I guess I just need to rant and hope you have some good advice

is there anyone you can talk to about this? like a professional? i take medication for my mental health and itll change your life!! dont be discouraged if the first anxiety med doesnt help dont be afraid to keep trying new ones until you find one that does work dont let yourself suffer because youre too anxious to speak up and dont settle 

This week has been a good week.

Despite doing something dodgy to my ankles (they are on the mend now I think) I feel like I’ve turned a real corner.

I’ve been eating so much more than I’m used to, including eating back my exercise calories which I NEVER used to do. My workouts (despite having bad ankles) are so much more productive because I’m fuelling my body and not forcing it to do fasted cardio which sometimes used to cause me to faint/throw up.

For the first time in years I have had no binge urges, because I’m actually full after meals, because I’m feeding myself like an active adult, not giving myself child sized portions of tasteless low calorie meals. Also I know if I get hungry after a meal, I can just have a snack, no big deal.

All these things may sound so simple but for the past few years I have been going through a binge, restrict cycle every few months and this is such a big deal for me mentally to break that cycle.

It’s not about weight but I have lost weight since eating more, which sounds ridiculous, but I know it makes sense because I was starving my body before, so when I binged it clinged onto that.

I still have a little voice in my head that tells me “eat less” “don’t finish that” “be strong don’t have a snack” but I have learnt to not listen and day by day that voice is getting quieter.

💖💖💖

☁️

Dan found out that the school he works for (which is a charter owned by a corporation) is eliminating all social studies classes (that’s Murica for ya) so his contract isn’t being renewed. The good part is he still gets to finish this contract which ends mid-August (so he’ll get paid until then) but the bad part is we lose health insurance June 30. So now I have to figure out health insurance for all of us. Because Dan won’t. Because I do everything paperwork related. But that’s a post for another day.

I’m starting my new (old) job Monday and I took a pay cut in order to gain a short commute, better hours, flexibility….. All to help my mental health and my stress levels. So this is just perfect timing.

Good vibes that he finds something this summer. Something NOT in philly and not for a shitty charter school.

I’m trying hard to not be mad AT him because it’s not his fault but his attitude pisses me off more than anything. His holier than thou that job is beneath me I have a masters degree attitude. We get it. I don’t use my degree. I understand how much it sucks to pay student loans for a degree that is no use to you. But when you come home from work EVERY DAY bitching about your job all night, constantly complaning, even text me during the day to complain… I can’t have sympathy. Because an attitude of gratitude can provide opportunity and your attitude fucking sucks.

So I get to spend my next 2 days off in my mini-vacation browsing private healthcare plans to buy, trying not to panic, and put on a happy face for my son so this doesn’t affect him emotionally.