so even if some people refuse to accept it

You don’t have to try to pass to deserve to be respected as a trans person

I saw a supposed “pride” tumblr state that if you aren’t trying to pass for any reason, then you can’t be trans or non-binary.

That is absolute bullshit.

There are so many reasons people might not try to pass.

  • It might not be safe to present as your correct gender
  • You might not be ready to come out and presenting as your correct gender would out you
  • You might be too depressed to even put the effort into passing
  • You might not be able to afford to buy new clothes/makeup/binders/etc
  • Our concept of “passing” is based on white, western ideals and you may not be willing or able to conform to those ideals
  • Some people fear they will never pass, and are too afraid to try
  • If you’re non-binary, there’s no generally accepted way to “pass” as your gender, so what does passing even mean?
  • Our popular concept of androgyny is based on thin, white, de-feminized ideals, something that many of us cannot conform to
  • You may be rebelling against the concept of “passing,” and refusing to conform to norms

And a million other reasons.  

Respect a person’s gender, always, whether or not they are trying to “pass.”

Reservations.com scam

Please forward this around.

If you are booking hotel rooms, please make sure the URL of the hotel site does not contain the word ‘reservations’. Make sure the domain does not show as “reservations.com.”

These people somehow have a business award. They also have almost one BBB complaint for every day they have been in business.

Their business model is to make “clone” pages of hotel sites. When you click through to make a reservation, you are sent to reservations.com. If you aren’t aware of the scam, you will likely think that they are simply handling the hotel’s e-commerce. The tells are things like the word reservations in the URL (how innocent) and I found at least one incident of them simply misspelling the hotel’s name. 

Most people will then click on the top price for the hotel room they want. At this point you are making a non-refundable reservation you will be charged for no matter what. Incorrect dates will not be fixed. They can then sell the same room several times. I suspect they are only paying the hotel once, and have found evidence of hotels not being paid. They don’t care why you need to cancel or change the website. Oh, and you pay $15 for this privilege. That $15 is non-refundable even if you manage to avoid the itty bitty print on the non-refundable.

Some people have been able to get refunds. They decided they would only refund me if I rebooked through the hotel. The hotel refused to accept my credit card in a secure manner, so I wasn’t able to do so. Literally unable. This cost me my relationship with the hotel. Who, interestingly, had never heard of this company. I eventually found out why - they’re buying their rooms through Expedia.

They pay to make sure their fishy sites show up above the actual hotel.

They are also well known for:

Not sending confirmation numbers.

Not telling people in Canada their prices are in USD.

Charging a second $15 to cancel a reservation.

Unauthorized/incorrect charges.

Impersonating hotels over the phone.

Canceling people’s reservations at the last minute. Often without giving them their money back. Probably because there wasn’t actually a room.

Dishonest pricing.

Refusing to remove people from their mailing list.

Accepting money back from the hotel and then not forwarding said money to the customer.

And, like all third party websites, they don’t always actually book you a room.

I’m an experienced trip planner. I have never been phished - which this is - before. This wasn’t a cheap room, by the way.

The site is owned by Benjamin & Brothers LLC.

I’m asking people to:

1. Be very careful when you think you are on a hotel’s site. Your CC may not take your side if you book through a different company “by mistake.”

2. Not do business with Reservations.com.

3. If you regularly do business with Expedia (I don’t), call them and threaten to remove your business if they continue to sell back room inventory to Reservations.com. I don’t recommend doing business with Expedia (which also owns Hotels.com) anyway, but if you do.

Taking these people down is going to involve concerted action.

EDIT: Talked to my CC company and they did reverse it back in my favor, they agree that these people are phishing. So that part’s good, but still…

I did another edit, so I’m not making them look bad.

The Boy From Brooklyn

Title:  The Boy from Brooklyn

Author:  Mimi @captain-rogers-beard

Summary:  Steve tries online dating because he wants someone who wants the kid from Brooklyn, not the Captain. He winds up falling for Reader and when they finally meet, Reader doesn’t care about his fame, just the person who had been writing - requested by @raychic26

Characters:  Steve Rogers x plus sized female reader

Marvel Fluff Bingo Square Filled:  Ice Cream Date

Word Count:  1751

Warnings:  rude ass guy, fat shaming, fluff

Author’s Notes:  written for @marvelfluffbingo and for @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan Full Figured Fantasy Challenge. My prompt: The only thing I’m too big for is your narrow mind.

***My work is not to be posted on any other sites (AO3, Wattpad, etc.) without my express written permission. Reblogs are fine.***

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Originally posted by butteryplanet

Keep reading

only just a little // jon snow

request(s): Hello! Can you write a Jon Snow X Reader here she was tortured by Ramsey when he took winterfell and when Jon takes it back the reader has this really bad nightmares about Ramsey and Jon is there for her and just a lot of fluff

  • can u do one where the reader is in love with jon and he loves her and he saves her from someone bad (lol) and they confess that they love each other? thank you💗💗 
  • Hi hi omfg I love your writing and Jon Snow is awesome so here we go :))) For the Jon Snow x Reader requests, could you do one where the reader was Jon’s best friend way beck when he lived in Winterfell but now she is being held captive by Ramsay Bolton (kinda like Sansa was) so Jon comes to rescue her but she’s really badly injured and there’s tonnes of angst but fluff at the end???? Again, love your writing, hope you are having a noice day :)
  • Can you do a Jon x Reader where you have been kind of a prisonner of Ramsay Bolton and you have a hard time trusting people after that, and Jon is the first to help you out

requested by: @mdgrdians

please don’t plagiarize my work!

word count: 2,181

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Originally posted by aryaestarks

“You’re really leaving?”

“Yes, I am.”

His words are spoken with a heavy exhale, displaying how torn Jon truly feels. In the dead of the night, the two of you seemingly the only ones still awake, Jon wonders if this is the right decision. If leaving you is the right decision.

Deep down, he knows it is. It’s the right decision for him, specifically, because he knows that he will never be accepted here in the way he wants. He may have a home, and those who love him, but he’ll never be consider a Stark by certain people, even though he so desperately wishes to be one.

Taking the black will give him purpose. Will give him something to fight for. And, it will give Jon the family, in some ways, that he needs. 

But it will mean leaving you.

You look so sad, stood there before him. Your eyes were watering, but you seemed to refuse to let them fall. Keeping a brave face, Jon assumed – for his sake. You curled into yourself, pulling the furs wrapped around your shoulders tighter around yourself to hide your body from the sheer cold of the late nights in Winterfell. Yet, it did nothing to stop the winds from smacking you in the cheeks and turning them a rosy red though.

Jon, despite everything, had never thought you so beautiful as he did in that moment. 

“I leave in the morning.”

The words seemed to smack you the same way the wind did. Instead, in the heart. It felt like to opposing ends were taking your heart and playing tug-of-war with it, ripping it half without a care in the world.

Yet, you couldn’t argue. Couldn’t find, not even one, word to argue against Jon’s choice. Sure, you loved him. Sure, his father and his brother Robb, and his younger sister, Arya and his younger brother’s, Rickon and Bran, loved him. And maybe even a small part of Sansa loved her bastard brother as well. But they were not enough to keep him here, and you knew you weren’t either. Jon needed to do this for himself, and as much as it hurt you so, you would not stop from doing so.

You need to sacrifice your own love for him, so that he might find some peace.

“I will say farewells to you now then.”

The words puzzled Jon, and you were quick to elaborate, finally raised your bowed head to meet his eyes. “I will not watch you walk out those gates, Jon,” you explain, the words almost forced, as if they’d become choked up in your throat. “I cannot bare the sight of you walking away from me.”

Jon understood. And as much as it pained him, to say his goodbyes now, he would not argue. For his sake, like you were not arguing for his.

He took a small step forward, and that was all that you needed. In the next second, your arms were bounding around him fast and tightly, pulling him flush against yourself as you buried your head into the crook of his neck. Jon eased into the embrace almost instantly, loving the feeling of you so close and in his arms. He knew it was a feeling he would dearly miss.

Then, you leaned back, just slightly, pressing a kiss against his cheek. You moved your lips to his ears, touching them just slightly as you whispered; “I will miss you dearly.”

Jon’s grip on you tightened, even for just a moment, giving you the confirmation you needed that he, would indeed, miss you too. He’d never been great with words, and you seemed to understand him through his actions perfectly. It was one of the reasons why he loved you, even if he’d yet to admit it.

“I hope to see you again one day, Jon Snow.”

-

The bruises on your body ached to point you felt you could not move. The touch of him still lingered disgustingly across your skin, and no amount of baths could wash the feeling of him away.

You hated that he had this hold of you. That such a man like him could make you feel so powerless, so vulnerable with just a simple look. He controlled you in every aspect through fear, and commanded you in just the same way. You wanted to fight, but found you could not. Your chance at fighting for your dignity and happiness had long been lost, since the moment he first touched you.

Instead, you spent your days wasting away in your room until he visited you at night and defiled you all over again.

And now, with Sansa, his wife, and Theon, his toy, gone and having escaped, all his torment fell upon your shoulders. Relentlessly. You would’ve never wished this kind of torture upon anyone, especially Sansa who’d been like a younger sister to you, but now that it was only you, you’d rather be dead.

Even then, you didn’t have enough courage to kill yourself.

Ramsay was cruel. Beyond cruel. He was tormented, sick, and he seemed to take pleasure in the hell he created for others. When he raped you, he smiled in glee. When he beat you, he laughed in your face. And when he’d torment you mentally, use your own fears against you, he would do as if he truly did love you. It was one of the few times he was gentle, stroking your cheek as he used your own personal hell to his favour.

You had never met a men as sick as Ramsay Bolton.

Today was different though. Usually, when you were not sleeping, there was handmaidens at your side, keeping watch of you. If you left your room, Ramsay would place guards at your side. Today felt absent. Barren. No one was around, and Ramsay hadn’t spoke a word of warning towards you.

Your door was locked though, keeping you on the inside.

So you sat, by yourself, still and alone, on your bed, tracing the bruises that lined your skin and shivering in disgust when your mind poisoned the thought of your touch being his. Defiling you. Using you.

It was quiet. You were alone.

Until suddenly, you were not. In the span of only a second, footsteps ran rapid in what sounded like everywhere. You couldn’t pinpoint an exact position or direction, no matter how hard you tried, and even pressing your ear up against your door did nothing to help you understand what was happening beyond the wooden plank that blocked your view.

Then, a moment later, over all the other footsteps, you heard ones approaching your door. Quick, confident strides and it caused you to gasp out in fright, stumbling back, as far away from the door as possible. You knew who it was. No one else other than Ramsay himself visited you, and you feared what kind of torture he’d inflict upon you this time.

In nothing but a sheer nightdress, you had a inclination of what it would be.

The footsteps stopped, there was a click, signifying the door had been unlocked, and then you saw the doorknob turn. It wasn’t as if this was anything knew. By now, there was a countless amount of times you’ve been defiled and used. Yet, you still found yourself petrified every time it threatened to begin.

The door slid open, light bleeding into the darken room that caused you to remind blind for a few moments. You blink, holding up a hand in front of your eyes to shield yourself from the light, before a figure became clear in front of you. 

It wasn’t Ramsay.

It was a man you’d thought, long ago given up on, ever seeing again.

Curled into yourself, probably looking nothing but a shell of your old self in eyes, you stared up at Jon. A man you once knew well beyond belief, but now almost felt like a stranger and a relief.

You could hardly believe your eyes.

Jon took a step towards you, his name leaving your lips in a whisper, but you shuffled back, cowering. Your arms moved faster than your mind, and you fell back slightly, a gasp leaving your lips.

Jon’s hand came up, his palm towards you. “I won’t hurt you.”

His voice sounded the same, albeit deeper. When you took a good look at him, you realized that his face had toned, grown. He looked like his father the way his hair was tied back, and there was blood caked to his skin. It all clicked in that one moment. Why Winterfell had seemed to absent was because there had been a battle, one you hadn’t been informed of, and apparently, Jon had been Ramsay’s enemy.

And it seemed he’d won.

“You remember me, yes?”

How could you forget him?

“Jon,” his name left your lips in a rasped, broken voice. But it was his name all the same. “Jon Snow. I remember you.”

“Y/N,” Jon called, more confident know that he knew you knew who you were. “Ramsay is dead. He can’t hurt you anymore. I promise you.”

He can always hurt you, you thought. The man wouldn’t leave your mind.

Jon took another step forward, and his knees hit the edge of the bed. His hand was still held out before him, but he moved it slightly, letting his palm face upward, holding his hand out towards you for you to take.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”

You didn’t cry. You wondered if you’d cried all the tears in your body all ready. 

But after only a moment of hesitance, you set your hand in Jon’s. The familiar touch was nice, refreshing and warm, opposed to the cold, lingering touched of Ramsay that never left you. 

You were in his arms in a second, his support helping you stay on your feet. 

Jon held you close as if he was afraid to let you go.

-

A scream pierced the silence of the dead of the night.

It startled Jon, his body snapping upright, alert with attention. His reflexes and past experiences told him that there was an attack Winterfell, that they were under siege. But after a moment, he realized the scream had come from beside him, piercing his ears as you twisted and turned, kicking your legs out wildly from beneath the sheets.

Once again, Jon snapped into attention, for a different reason all together.

With practiced routine, one of Jon’s hand fell on your shoulder, the other cupping your cheek. He spoke softly, but with purpose as he called for your name to bring you out of your tormented sleep. You fought relentlessly against his grip, your dream having you believe his touch to be of someone else’s.

“Y/N,” Jon called, “it’s Jon. You’re safe. You’re safe. I promise you that you are safe. No harm can come to you here.”

Eventually, your eyes begin to flicker, and your struggling seized. Your tense body eased in Jon’s grip, and your E/C eyes fluttered open to meet his.

Your chest rose and fell with exhaustion, your throat burning from the screams that had pierced through the silence only seconds ago. But when you met Jon’s eyes, and the eyes of Ramsay left your mind, you felt a sense of calm and warmth flood through your entire being as you lay limp in his grip, completely trusting.

Jon’s thumb softly stroked your clammy cheek, your forehead beading with sweat and causing your hair to stick to it.

“It’s okay,” Jon whispers, his voice barely audible.

“I’m sorry,” you pant, shaking your head. “He won’t leave my mind.”

“I know.”

“Every time I close my eyes, Jon, he… he’s there.”

Your voice breaks Jon’s heart.

Months later, after everything, and yet the pain inflicted upon you from that disgusting man would not leave you.

“Sometimes,” you continue, your voice shaky as you meet Jon’s gaze, finding solace within them. “I can still feel his touch. His hand… p-pushing me forwards…”

“Shh,” Jon soothes, brushing away the hair that sticks to your forehead. “He’s not here. He never will touch you again, Y/N. I promise you.”

You reach out for his hand, Jon quickly abiding as you grip onto it tightly.

“We don’t have to sleep,” Jon offers, hoping to calm. “We can just lay here. I can hold you until you feel safe again.”

You sigh, shaking your head; “I don’t want to keep you awake-”

“You’re not keeping me awake,” Jon cuts off gently. “I want to be here, with you, right now, with you in my arms.”

A moment of silence passes, and then, reluctantly, you nod, shifting slightly to fall into his embrace easier. True to his word, Jon just holds you. Neither of you speak, but he keeps you close, reassuring you that no longer can Ramsay touch or hurt or defile you in anyway.

It doesn’t erase the memory of him, but it does ease your racing heart. Even if only a little bit.

-

let me know what you thought? remember, reblogging always helps!

requests are open for jon snow and robb stark!

Listen, I’m gonna talk about how Vision is a person and how much I Do Not Get how people have trouble accepting this.

This is a character who has like four separate scenes in Age of Ultron alone dedicated to establishing his personhood. The Avengers Tower scene to establish that the hammer really does judge worthiness, there’s Scarlet Witch reading him to establish his mind is definitely like a human being, we have Vision declaring himself an individual, we have Vision lifting the hammer and establishing Mjolnir has judged him a worthy person.

“BUT WAIT THERE’S THAT THING ABOUT HOW HE’S BASICALLY AN ELEVATOR, BASICALLY”

NO. You have bad narrative comprehension! Your English teacher failed you! Putting aside that Thor laughs dismissively at those comments, there is no point to Vision lifting Mjolnir if it has no meaning!

This is like watching Titanic and going “hey, but Rose DID just let Jack go! What the heck movie, she just said she wouldn’t!” Like, yeah, maybe I get if you completely missed everything related to character, narrative, or thematic resonance, that’s how you can interpret it… but for everyone else, Vision is worthy because he’s worthy.

Is it just a matter of looking at the smallest, most passing view of a character and making a decision based solely on that? Is this like watching Civil War and going “Hey, that Captain America guy isn’t pro-government anymore! But he’s called Captain America and that sounds pro-government to me! What the heck!” and having missed the last two movies that are explicitly about him defying government authority? So, like just looking at Vision and going “oh, android” and deciding that’s it, that’s the character, no further thinking needed.

And, hey, maybe Age of Ultron didn’t convince you. He’s too perfect, and he sounds just like JARVIS, so maybe he’s just following a set of protocols! “Okay,” say the writers, “How about a movie where he gets caught up in his emotions, makes mistakes, has regrets, and changes? That’s what real people do!”  

“NO.” you say. “HE’S GOT LIKE PURPLE CIRCUITRY STUFF ON HIS FACE AND IT DOESN’T COUNT.”

“Really? Ok. Well, THIS movie is about how Vision starts off by deciding he doesn’t want to be loyal to any specific team, but the person he loves, thus defying any semblance of protocol loyalty to Tony. Only to make the choice to let his own actualized life be taken by the woman he loves to save trillions. Tragically being destroyed to do what he was created for (to protect life), by who he wanted to live for (his love, Wanda).”

And at this point I can’t even pretend to get into the head of someone who thinks this isn’t enough. Is it like a shipping thing? Is making Vision just a robot like the Wanda/Vision equivalent of making Pepper Potts an abusive shrew so Tony can hook up with whoever? Is it because he wielded Mjolnir, and some people want that big ‘Oooo’ moment to count for their fave instead? Like we have three different movies that are really damaged narratively by refusing to accept Vision as a person. Why even watch these movies? Why even consume any kind of speculative fiction if you only want to accept stuff specifically within your sphere of existence?

I Don’t Get It.

But, it doesn’t really matter. The writers, directors, crew, actors, and everyone else with a say in it make the decisions about this, and they decided to tell a story of a God of Thunder who finds him worthy to defend Earth. Of a war hero who would sacrifice his life to defend him. Of a hardened ex-Russian spy who is deeply struck by his death. Of a woman who loves him till the moment she dies.

And if you insist on believing that this stuff doesn’t count, that Vision’s personhood doesn’t qualify or matter to the narrative, well, that’s your choice. But I gotta say–you’re really missing out.

hate to break it to ya pals but if your parent/sibling/friend/whoever told you they couldn’t accept you for being trans because they saw someone with a “weird” gender or “weird” pronouns on the internet then they were never that accepting of trans people in the first place.

like, i know it’s easier to hold other trans + nonbinary people responsible for your loved ones not accepting you than it is to acknowledge that their transphobia and treatment of you is all on them, but those trans and nonbinary people don’t deserve to be the scapegoat for transphobes who i guarantee you were already transphobic before they ever heard the word ‘nonbinary’ or knew what a neopronoun was and would have found some other way to justify not accepting you had all these “transtrenders” never existed in the first place.

and just as much as trans and nonbinary people don’t deserve to get blamed for being the cause of someone else’s transphobia, you don’t deserve to have transphobic family and friends who refuse to accept you and can’t even take responsibility for their own bigotry or make the effort to try and change themselves so they can understand and accept you.

people who actually accept and support trans people would not suddenly stop doing so because they saw a gender identity they didn’t understand or pronouns that seemed a bit weird to them. anyone who tells you otherwise is using those things as an excuse to justify their own transphobia and try to deflect the backlash they could get for it onto someone else. don’t let them do that, hold transphobes accountable for their own words and behavior because they only ones responsible for it are them.

Black Panther Review Articles 4
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W'Kabi is someone I don’t see many talk about - probably cause they don’t like him for his ‘betrayal’ but I think they miss the point of this character and the importance of highlighting him. W'Kabi parents had been murder and he felt the prior kind did nothing to find justice for those lives and many others that was lost. When T'Challa came back empty hand that feeling of disappointment returned, that anger returned. W'Kabi’s point is politics - those in power, in control are not doing the things they need to do for their people and so when Erik returns with the body of the person who has killed his parents…he’s met someone who in his perspective doesn’t just talk the talk but commits the actions to back it up. Erik speaks of correcting wrongs that’s been going on forever and so for W'Kabi it’s a political change.

You may dislike him because that change had to be from T'Challa, but if you’re seeking to understand Erik you should also be seeking to understand W'Kabi. He’s not a bad guy, just someone unsatisfied with his government (King’s) leadership. As someone who is frustrated with my own government and leadership it’s easy to empathize with his reasonings even as I feel his choice in alternate leadership wasn’t the best.

Would you kill me, my love?

We also get that powerful imagery of him not only dropping his weapon but dropping to his knees before Okoye. He is the leader of men, while she is the leader her of her women, and when he ask her (subtly) to give up her views, her desires, her honor, for him - she refuses and so he then bows into her leadership. This is an important moment for black women because giving into men is supposed to be our way of life despite being right. The underlying messages that they bringing for women in this movie is top fucking notch really.  Because the reality is you need to take stock in what it is you really have and what it is you’re fighting for. W'Kabi still has a chance to evaluate the situation. He may have cast his ballot into the wrong box but he can stop and fight for what’s right now. You wanna stand behind someone whose gonna fight for the right thing not someone whose just gonna act.

W'Kabi’s situation reminds me of those who were so incapable of seeing the good Obama was trying to do and then went and voted for Trump and now claim to regret it.

Are ya’ll done yet..are ya’ll done?

I love M'Baku! I don’t think he gets as much shine as he should. He definitely should not be called a villain or bad guy when it comes to this film because he was not. The challenge was acceptable and so he placed it out there because he wanted the throne. He lost and accepted that loss with no ill feelings and returned the due of lie back to T'Challa tenfold because not only did he keep the king alive but he didn’t take the opportunity to become the Black Panther he was given. He then showed up for the battle even though he had previously refused. M'Baku is just a good guy whose people choose to live separately and a bit differently from T'Challa’s.

M'Baku is a comedic genius - they split up some of the most important lines between him and Shuri. The moment he starts making animal noises in response to the white guy speaking - I was floored for several reasons. One because there have been plenty of times where I’ve just wanted to tell white people to shut up - they often have opinion on things they have no stake in yet want to be heard the most. And because the aspect that he thought M'Baku animalistic anyway. That why M'Baku laughs so hard after saying he’ll feed him to his children then saying I’m just playing - we’re vegetarians. Because homies eyes got so big - white people will believe blacks are capable of the most outlandish shit even though it’s often very far from reality. The fact that they highlighted that concept - I lived for it. His response to T'Challa low key asking for his army - haha they’re just so damn black man and I love it.

The Casting:

I’m happy as fuck with the moves Daniel Kaluuya is currently making. After breaking out in Get Out - another high moving creature for black people - this was def the move to make. The fact that people don’t talk about his character a lot got me zoning but just being in the feature is a good look for him. When it comes to our films he’s probably always gonna be high on the list and thats never a bad thing. 

This is my first film with Winston Duke - but I felt like I was gonna love him the moment I saw him and Chadwick fake box on stage. he just has a nice vibe yo. his delivery for this character was so on point and I’d be willing to see his next project for sure. He sat in the pocket with them lines. And to be a side character he still pushed his presences through and remained rememberable…hell relatable. I would def hope for him any sequels they decide to do. 

I received many private messages from people asking for help because they didn’t know how to talk about their mental health issues to their friends or families. I’m not good at giving advice but from my experience, hearing other people’s stories gives a lot of courage, makes me feel understood and less alone. I’m so glad to help people with a simple story or drawings. I apparently saved lives! I’m so proud of that, I can’t quite believe it.

I thought I could share my full story with you like I did with some. That’s incredibly scary to share. I’m so scared to imagine my friends or old coworkers reading this but I guess helping more people is more important.

I’ve never really known what was wrong with me so I drew a character that had the same issues. He was not happy with his life, felt lonely all the time, had no self-esteem (like -967272074%), loved music way more than he loved himself, and was often biting his nails until his fingers were bleeding. You know this character if you’re following me.

At the time, I was refused by every art school. Some even told me my drawings were useless. I was 18 and already felt like I had failed my life so drawing was not enough to make me feel better. I was not enough. Not enough to be accepted in art school. Not enough for anything.

I think music woke me up. I remember being alone, listening to music with my headphones, in a large space, with people and students walking around. I was drawing my character. He was depressed and I heard, “Best, you’ve gotta be the best” in my ears. That was “Butterflies and Hurricanes” by Muse. (I cried when I heard it live.) That was 6-7 years ago.

I texted a friend about all those things in my head. Let’s call her Satan. She followed everything from the first doubts to the day I could finally put a name on it. She will probably read this and I’m glad she exists. (She’ll probably cry while reading this line and I’m not even sorry.) For me, depression was for weak people at this time. It was only in their heads. And I simply couldn’t understand how a human being could think about ending their life. (Damn, this is really getting serious and even more scary for me..)

My head was still messed up and I was having more and more insomnia. It got gradually worse and worse. I think my other friends knew I had sleep disorders but only knew that at the time. My “solution” was to keep my mind busy by working and over-working on personal projects even if it felt pointless. I had to stay busy to avoid this little voice in my head that constantly told me I’m not enough. I felt like I was ALWAYS lacking energy and motivation even if I was over-working. I had some really depressive nights that just ended with me thinking, “What’s the point of living?”  That’s how I understood how someone could think about suicide.

The insomnia was getting worse and the anxiety seemed inhuman but I didn’t know what that was so I only talked about the insomnia or the physical symptoms caused by anxiety to my doctor. I had huge chest pain and was convinced it was cancer or that I would have an heart attack. I always wait until I can no longer go on to finally dare going to the doctor. “But you’re so young, you’re not even 20.” In my head that was, “Oh my god, am I that fucked up !!?? I’m so weak. I suck. I hate myself.”

I had some sleeping pills (that didn’t work) and I kept working and creating stuff all the time. I wanted to get better so I could make a living off of my work so I did tons of things. Until I burnt out. It’s “funny” because I knew I was getting off limits. I kept working and working because I stupidly thought that would make my mind quieter. I was tired all the time, I couldn’t sleep, had no energy and didn’t know why I was doing all of this. It felt pointless.

I started a new band with my friends (another project again!) because I thought music could save me (and it did help a lot, that’s the best thing I’ve done in this mental battle). I needed something to keep me sane. Day at work (I had a full time work at this time), evening staying busy on personal projects or making my stuff ready for the weekends I spent at art shows or conventions.

Those shows ended up being huge failures so that didn’t really helped mentally.

I suddenly realized I could no longer go on like this when I had a huge panic attack during a concert in 2016. (The Last Shadow Puppets. It was amazing, by the way. The bromance between Miles and Alex is at a tumblr level.) At the time, I didn’t know what a panic attack was. I just felt like I was dying for a few minutes, or at least thought I was gonna pass out. I spent the following days hugely depressed, panicked, and had no motivation and energy at all. Like, worse than anything I’ve ever felt before. Like music was no longer safe for me. Music had always helped. Knowing I had a show coming always made me happy. But this show destroyed everything. I had 4 other shows in the following months. But I just couldn’t.

I again ended up thinking, “What’s the point ? Why should I keep living ?” like during many depressive episodes. But this time it was really stronger. And it really wasn’t a good time for this. (Can there be a good time for this?) Getting back to work after that panic attack simply felt IMPOSSIBLE. Going to my friend’s birthday on the saturday also seemed impossible. It was invisible and had to remain invisible. I was scared to have another panic attack or to suddenly fall apart in front of my friends and they couldn’t see that I’m broken.

It was so strong that I texted Satan. I needed her to know. Then I told my mom I maybe had depression. I always need my Satan ’s support for this. I always need to feel reassured about everything I do. Before publishing this I had to ask her.

Then came the saturday and my friend’s birthday. It was just a drink in a bar but I was so “sick” (I still thought it was just me that was not enough and not that I was sick) that I texted the 2 organizers to explain to them the madness that was going on and that I might not find the strength to come.

Like every time, I showed up. For my friends. To not disappoint them. I felt so off, I can’t tell what happened. I just stayed for the drink and left before the evening because that was already too much. I remember that a friend hugged me before I left and not crying at this moment was super hard.

The following day, I explained everything to all the friends that were there in a message. (I again needed to be supported by Satan before that.) Because imagining what they could think of me, all those stories I was making in my head were killing me.

At the moment I pressed “enter”, I instantly wanted to disappear. Like, “OMG, I DID IT. They’ll read it and hate me. I suck. I want to die. I hate myself. Will they answer?”

And they were super understanding! What a relief! WOAH! After that, I felt better about publishing my drawings online, because I was no longer scared for my friends to find it.

I stopped working on all my personal projects and spent all my time out of work in bed haunted by a mental ghost, thinking I couldn’t get back to work the following day or on Monday. I spent the beautiful summer weekends watching the sky at my window in my bed. I was so messed up.

With time, I talked about it with more friends, like my bandmates. To explain to them that I was freaking out before a concert or a rehearsal. I even dared refusing to play a gig because of the panic. Saying no was the hardest thing ever.

Not everyone was cool about that. I kept hearing, “It’s in your head” and that’s far from being over.

Since the concert that changed everything, I had some other huge panic attacks. Those panic attacks made me scared to go out. It was stronger than my usual generalized and social anxiety. I usually ended up at the doctor trying to explain this and had many blood tests. As these were really physical symptoms, they didn’t immediately think it was a mental illness. I was paranoid. Like, “Oh my god, I’m gonna die. Maybe it’s cancer.”

The worst attack I had was during one of my art show openings. I spent half of the evening throwing up, had huge vertigo, couldn’t see clearly and even had huge tinnitus. It felt like I was out of reality. People were here but far away. I couldn’t hear or see them clearly. I really thought I was gonna die or pass out and people couldn’t see me like that. I ended up texting Satan from the toilets. I had to leave earlier and I hated myself so much. My projects and artworks were betraying and abandoning me, like music after THE concert.

This time, I accepted the work leave my doctor was telling me to take for months. It’s been 6 months. I still have huge depressive episodes. I took a Netflix account. I spent months not being able to get out because of panic disorder. I drew when I had thoughts I needed to get out of my head.
Some folks apparently liked it and I ended up on the Huffington Post and many others in over 7-8 languages. Many people told me their stories. I always answered. I apparently saved lives. Saved Christmas’ lonely night for someone. How can I help people when I cannot even help myself?

Today, I was too tired to leave my bed. That happens. But my biggest fear these days is to get better. I’ve never really known how it feels and I’m so scared of it. What if I relapse? I don’t want to no longer feel like myself, don’t want to lose my creativity. Getting back to work simply feels impossible. I just can’t. And I still hate myself so much.

(If you can see some mistakes, I’m sorry, English is not my first language)

(I write this in 2017 so maybe I’ll update it later)

To: Peter Lenkov, Re: Steve and Danny, “Hawaii 5-0” season 9

So we’re coming to the end of another season of “Hawaii 5-0,” the TV show that still refuses to accept the fact that it created one of the greatest love stories on television apparently by accident. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and tell myself that CBS won’t let you finally let Steve and Danny be together the way they should be, but even if that’s true there are some more practical things we have to address.

Namely, the fact that you people have apparently once AGAIN forgotten how to write Steve and Danny. Yes, we’re all mourning the lack of Grace Park and Daniel Dae Kim, but I promise you that part of the reason your ratings dropped AGAIN in season 8 (after rising in season 7, a year with some of the most excellent Steve and Danny writing we’ve seen in some time) is that you’re fumbling the reason that the majority of people still watch your show. Since I know I can’t trust any of you to do the right thing and acknowledge the world as it truly should be, here are some tips to help recover those fans you’ve lost over the current season.

1) Stop throwing around the absurd, heavy-handed Rachel/Danny hints

Every time you make even the vague suggestion that Rachel and Danny should get back together, or there’s still potential for them, the entire audience cringes. You’ve established repeatedly that the two are toxic together, and that was before you had her do the worst possible thing anyone could do to Danny short of killing someone he loved (she kept his son from him, for YEARS, by not telling him he was his father. Danny holds fatherhood SACRED, and the fact that he wasn’t there for those years of Charlie’s probably still causes him pain). They are so unhealthy it’s painful to watch, and Danny at least seems to understand that. For all our sakes, stop trying to throw her at him.

2) For the love of all that’s holy, put Lynn and Melissa out of their narrative misery

While I consider it a blessing that they haven’t even been mentioned in what feels like 500 years, there’s still always the terrifying possibility that you will shove a random mention of them into an episode and once again remind us of the absurd charade of Steve and Danny’s “dating” lives. They’ve dated these women for years, supposedly, and yet clearly have no more place in the boys’ lives than someone they’d been dating for a few weeks. The rare times they’re even mentioned, it’s solely a reference to dating or sex - never hanging out with the kids, or spending time with the rest of the team, or interacting with either Steve’s sister or anyone in Danny’s family.

That’s not a relationship, Lenkov. That’s you occasionally screaming at the audience that the boys really do have sex with women, really, you even have proof of it.

So, for the sake of everyone’s dignity, throw in a mention somewhere that both relationships have finally, mercifully ended. Mentioning how much sex they supposedly have (which, for the record, is a WEIRD WEIRD WIERD thing to supposedly be discussing between the two couples) does absolutely nothing to convince us of Steve and Danny’s heterosexuality. All it does is remind us of the embarrassing charades that sometimes happen when people continue to lie to themselves about their true feelings. If CBS really wants to pretend that Steve and Danny are NOT madly in love with each other, this is not something you want to be reminding us of.

3) If Catherine comes back, it must only be as a bro

I started out liking Catherine, I really did. But then the whole “I love you, but I love danger more” nonsense happened (and happened, and happened) and I was filled with the burning desire to punch her in the throat. I feel like some of the things they talked about in the last episode were progress back to the friendship I actually enjoyed seeing, and if you keep that up I’ll start actually watching the episodes where she pops back up instead of skipping them. Given the ratings for the last Catherine episode to crop up, I’m guessing a lot of other people were skipping them, too.

4) Either move forward with the restaurant plot or end it

I liked the idea at first, but with everything that’s gone wrong it’s getting ridiculous. It’s clear that the only reason Steve is doing it at all is because Danny wants to, and Danny’s obsessed with it in a way that completely transcends the original idea of a retirement fantasy. It’s clearly a strained, increasingly painful metaphor for the life the two desperately wish they could build with each other, with heavy sprinklings of Danny’s fear about Steve’s physical health and I assume a metric ton of repressed longing. Every second they’re in there I want to get them both into therapy, stat, and I am begging you on my hands and knees to either let the damn thing start going right or give it a quick, merciful death and let both them and us move on with our lives.

5) Stop with the unsubtle hints that Steve/Danny would never work

Speaking of the restaurant, if this is your way of trying to convince us that Steve and Danny would never work as a romantic couple, let it go. They basically ARE a romantic couple, minus the sex, and we see that every second they’re onscreen. And, if the “being romantically involved ruined our friendship” comment was meant to be another allusion to this, it’s not even relevant. Steve and Danny are FAR more emotionally entangled than mere friendship would account for (I’ve lived with my best friend for more than a decade, and hoo boy what Steve and Danny have is so many million miles past even the deepest friendship), and the only thing that ever seems to give them trouble is when they try to fight that. Someone who’s a friend may have an equal slot to a person’s romantic partner, but for both Steve and Danny it’s painfully clear that (with the exception of Danny’s kids) they will always be the most important person in the other person’s life. No one else comes anywhere near close, including the long-term girlfriends they’ve both supposedly dated for years. (Danny even won out over Catherine, when he convinced Steve to come home from Afghanistan instead of going after Catherine). That’s not friendship, Lenkov.

You said it yourself in Danny’s fantasy flash forwards - all they really want is to spend the rest of their lives by each other’s side, and they can’t be bothered to add anyone else but Danny’s two kids into the mix. Adding regular sex into that would make it MORE normal, not less, and it certainly wouldn’t make things more stressful. Hell, it would probably make them both relax.

6) Junior and Tani are not a heterosexual replacement for Steve and Danny

Listen, I like them both. I really do. I even like their rapport. But despite the painfully, painfully obvious signaling you’ve been trying to shove down our throats, their banter does not even BEGIN to be a replacement for proper Steve/Danny banter. I understand you’re worried about both the boys leaving the show, but denying us their interaction while they’re still there isn’t the way to fix that - it’s just chasing us away early. Start giving us our regular dose of Steve/Danny banter, free of pointless restaurant angst, and let Tani and Junior develop their own thing.

7) Accept the truth, even if you never say it

What all of this is leading to, basically, is stop trying to pretend that there is some magical trick you can pull that will convince all of us that Steve and Danny are just bros. There isn’t one.

The thing is, you’ll actually draw less attention to that fact if you just let them be themselves. Clearly someone over there is convinced the world’s gonna end if you let them kiss onscreen, but they were practically married during the whole of season 7 and no one screamed about it. In fact, as I mentioned earlier, the ratings for your show actually went UP during that season, both in general and in that all-precious 18-49 year old demo (which, I hear, is supposedly the sort of thing studios like show ratings to do). Let them go back to that, cut out the ridiculous mentions of the women they supposedly are or should be dating, and let them have plots about other things (like, you know, maybe making Grace an actual character again instead of Hawaii’s newest urban legend).

I promise you - you, the studio, and the audiences will all be happier for it.

youtube

As many of you know, the appropriation of black hair by Kpop idols has become a more and more discussed (and debated) topic. Moments like when Jackson (GOT7) had dreads for a Pepsi commercial, Hoseok (BTS) wore braids during most Mic Drop stages when they were promoting LY:HER, Jongin(EXO) had dreads during the KoKoBop promotions, U-Kwon during Block B’s latest comeback and so many more where moments, where a lot of black fans called out said idols but where belittled and made fun of because it was just hair. Some fans and idols (Jackson) even call us haters because we call them out.

See, the reason why most of us call them out is because it’s not just hair. It might be for you but not for us. To us, all these hairstyles are part of our culture, our identity, and our history and seeing idols wear these hairstyles because it’s fashion or a trend is beyond disrespectful and offensive to us. 

As an African (I am Congolese from the Democratic Republic of Congo), I have practically grown up with braids. I remember getting my first braids done on my third birthday and being so excited because wow, I was finally allowed to get braids done like all the older girls in my family. For me, getting braids done has always been something special, something I knew just belonged to the daily life of a black girl and seeing others getting those braids done without even knowing what they are called or just getting them done because “it’s trendy” annoyed me.

The fact that braids and even natural hair are seen as unprofessional on black people but nice and trendy on non-black people isn’t something just happening in America, it happens in Africa and Europe too. A lot of schools in countries like the DRC, the Republic of Congo, Senegal, Côte d’Ivoire, South Africa and so many more still prohibit braided hair like box braids etc. Some European schools and workplaces do the same. I remember two schools refusing to accept me if I had box braids or lately (about a month ago) I had an interview for an internship at a photography store but the owner told me I had to get rid of my hair because it was “unprofessional”. Things like that happen in people’s everyday lives, those aren’t just stories.

This is to all the fans who have been defending their idols whenever they were called out, called us haters and who said things like “It’s just hair” or “Why do black people straighten their hair”. Please watch that video, share this with people you think would be needing this too and think before you say things like that.


It seems like gatekeepers believe that the LGBTQIA+ community is this single cohesive unified thing with clearly defined edges and an exact list of who is and isn’t allowed and that all members of this oh so united group must feel the same way about things as they do, especially as it comes to this imaginary list of who’s “gay enough” to be allowed, or else be accused of attempting to sow seeds of divisiveness in the community. 

And I feel like that’s why exclusionists are so determined to paint their current crusade against aspecs as totally different from and in no way related to past “discourse” and attempts to boot out members of the community they now claim to be protecting. After all, in order to continue to portray the community (as they see it) as unified and a safe space that needs protecting they have to at least say (if not believe) that bi discourse was wrong, that any past attempts to push out members who are now seen (if only barely) as acceptable were wrong. Of course some exclusionists are blatantly biphobic, exorsexist, etc. but at the very least the party line seems to be that “yeah well trying to kick you out was a mistake (probably anyway) but trying to kick these people out is totally justified and in no way related even though we say it’s for all the same reasons people wanted you gone, because we say you’re gay enough but they’re not”

For the same reason they will say that any bi, trans, nonbinary, etc. people who agree with them are the absolute authorities on whether or not this “discourse” mirrors past gatekeeping but when people from those groups who don’t agree with them point out similarities or even share their own experiences having been through this sort of mess before they are immediately mocked, told to stop “tokenizing themselves”, called homophobic (or biphobic or transphobic or whatever) for daring to point out similarities and not listened to in the slightest. Of course that makes perfect sense in light of the mindset gatekeepers seem to have, in order for the community to keep its unity and cohesiveness dissenting voices must be ignored.

So despite the fact that exclusionists will use the same arguments, word for word, that have been used to try and exclude now “acceptable” members of the community in the past, they refuse to acknowledge any similarities. They will not examine their reasoning or how it relates to past discourse because they’re perfectly happy in their echo chamber full of people who also like to talk about the “cishet invaders” (and it’s completely fine if some or many of those people are biphobes, truscum, etc. until they become so obvious about their views that not even other exclusionists can deny it anymore and have to drop them).

headcanon

tony stark is pretty generous when it comes to his friends; not to say he hands out money left and right, but if he even for a moment thinks that someone needs it, he will give it. but of course there are always those who are unwilling to accept it. “don’t want to inconvenience you” kind of bullshit despite the fact that he is the billionaire here, really, ten grand for a good cause is not an inconvenience– anyways, some people just refuse to take it.

so tony makes bets.

tony makes bets with them, bets on the most ridiculous stuff, knowing he will lose, but he is a good actor, so everyone is convinced he thinks he will win. he bets clint that “hell yeah i’m better at shooting guns than you! 10K says i am!”, and steve that “i’ll pay you 5K if you actually manage to beat me in table tennis” and he was described as textbook narcissism at a point, so it’s not hard to think that he actually believes what he says. and when he loses, he acts so devastated and mopes around, and again, good acting skills, so nobody even thinks to doubt. he pays his debts immediately though, and others think that he just doesn’t like having debts.

(pepper, of course, sees right through it, but lets him have his fun).

anonymous asked:

I’m interested to hear your thoughts on the couple of Sam Jones clips released today. I like his point about not being in Marvel anymore and how people’s perception of him is. I watched all of the iron man movies again sort of from the perspective of an RDJ fan and of necessarily a tony stan and it’s interesting how the public’s perception of him now IS just tony stark and he seems to be both like very appreciative but also knowing that there’s a difference there. Also he’s just very smart heh

yeah honestly he’s a very well-spoken man and i love the way his mind works because he often would sort of respond to a question in a way that makes you wonder if he actually did answer the question. and the thing is, he does, and you have to parse out what he’s saying because he’s got so many thoughts and he says things in a manner you wouldn’t expect instead of directly answering with something simple. it’s great because you see that he really puts his thought into a lot of things.

anyway, yes, i love what he said about aesthetic distance. a lot of the public’s perception of him really is just “tony stark” and he’s said time and time again that he’s not that guy. but i think some people just forget that or refuse to accept that because rdj has brought a lot of himself into the character. and it’s true the other way around too. tony stark sure has influenced rdj in real life. but they’re not the same guy. it just goes to show how well he plays the character and embodies him so much that the line blurs so easily for the rest of us.

even for me, as someone who’s always been a robert fan first and tony fan second, i sometimes watch the mcu films and get caught up in the moment, thinking, “god damn he really is just tony stark.” but when you sit back and think about it, you can actually easily distinguish the two. they influence each other so much, but at the end of the day, robert is just robert, and he goes home to his wife and kids and lives a relatively normal life that’s not entangled in aliens and superheroics.

and i love what he said about tony’s progress through the movies. we were just talking in the group chat about how rdj has certain viewpoints or analyses of tony that we’d never think of, which was apparent with how he talked about the suits of armors as a representation of tony’s development. how he went from a man in a suit that had the main objective of protecting him only and getting him the hell out of the cave, to wearing an armor that did shit all to protect him but saved the rest of the universe. how it symbolizes his progression from self-centered narcissism to lover and protector of the universe. i love it.

he’s just so incredibly intelligent. i love listening to rdj talk and can’t wait for the rest of the interview to be released.

For the last time, people:

If someone is

  • Quiet…
  • Soft spoken…
  • Careful…
  • Responsible…
  • Trying to be accommodating…
  • Or is physically unobtrusive (I.e., stays out of the way, moves so you can pass, etc…)

IT DOES NOT MEAN FOR ONE SECOND THAT THEY ARE AUTOMATICALLY:

  • Afraid
  • Timid
  • Unassertive
  • Pushovers
  • Don’t know what they think
  • Accept you as their leader
  • Cowardly
  • Detached from reality

Strong and silent is a thing.

And not all biters bother to bark.

Some people are quiet by nature or even by just the make and model of their voice. It isn’t a mark of weakness or timidness.


And politeness isn’t something you’re born with or without. It’s a choice. And when people move aside or ask if they can get you anything while they’re up, or refuse to interrupt you even though you interrupted them it is a choice they make to be kind or civil or principled, and is not a sign of accepting someone as their social “alpha” and falling into rank somewhere low in some stupid invisible feudal system.


So don’t talk over “quiet” people; they’re probably not that quiet if you give them your ear. Don’t finish their sentences for them. Don’t plow past them in the hall or the sidewalk knowing they’ll jump out of your way like a frightened rabbit.

I’ve seen people get genuine enjoyment out of doing those things to understated or quiet people…enjoyment out of “catching them on their heels” or savoring some subliminal sense of having “an edge” over them. Being more “alert” or “awake”. And it makes me start seeing red. Because those feelings couldn’t be further from the truth of it.

I’d suggest skipping this post if you’re not interested in reading much or don’t care about unnecessary drama

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm not the same anonymous person, but pretty pretty pretty please post your other favourite facts about Vergil! <3

oh man i’m so glad y’all like to hear me ramble about vergil, this is making my night

there’s a weird story surrounding vergil’s birth which says that his mom dreamed that she was giving birth to a laurel branch, which then immediately grew to a tree, and so everyone thought he was gonna grow up to be really amazing

actually there’s a lot of really strange traditions about vergil and he’s treated as sort of a magician by his later audience. people from medieval times in particular loved to make up weird shit about him, and so we get a lot of strange stories like vergil breaking ovid’s legs for absolutely no reason and vergil killing nero with the help of his bff jesus christ

even though he was beloved by the roman people and by emperor augustus, vergil never got haughty about it and would even refuse some of augustus’s gifts. one story says that he was offered the property of an exile by augustus and he was so horrified that he couldn’t bear to accept it, what a gentle soul

his biographies tell us that he was gay af and that in particular he was interested in a boy named alexander (called alexis in the eclogues). whether or not the name that the biography gives is real, the poet martial references alexis and kind of seems to ship him and vergil??

he was very friendly and gentle-souled, and he apparently never got jealous of anybody. in fact, one of the biographies says that he would rejoice in other people’s successes as much as if they were his own like that’s like if jk rowling told you your harry potter fanfic was really good i just love him a lot he’s so good

lamphat  asked:

I'm curious how you go about dealing with relatives/family/friends who are painfully liberal? I don't know where I'm going with this question. I think I just feel torn and unsure of what kind of engagement/boundaries I should be having with them. What's actually more effective in the way we talk.

Oooooh, that’s a difficult one.

Some people fixate all their energy on changing their relatives,which is draining, frustrating and doesn’t work because contrary to popular belief people rarely change their mind in a debate. People change their mind when the foundations of their opinions are being questioned by their personal experiences. You’re not likely to change your relatives through conversations, although that doesn’t mean you can’t plant some seeds for when the time comes.

Some people avoid talking about politics entirely. This is possible and can work, but it also means your relatives miss a part of who you are, especially if activism becomes an increasingly big part of your life. You could arrive at a point where your way of looking at the world becomes so different that you feel out of touch with them entirely, like you don’t speak the same language anymore. And if you’ve never talked with your family about why you protest, you may not receive any support from them if you find yourself arrested or doing prison time. 

Predictably, most people try to find a balance between occasional intense conversations about their political believes, the activism they do and why they do it, and long periods of just being family and caring for each other as families should do. Which isn’t always easy. Healthy communication boundaries can help, like having a clear way to assert when a conversation becomes to exhausting and making sure everyone can end a political conversation at any time.

Finally, there are painfully liberal ideas and then there is bigoted and harmful behavior, which is a whole different thing. If you are maintaining a relationship with someone whose behavior is bad, you need to seriously check with yourself:

  • Are they treating you right? That’s priority number one. Someone who harms you has no place in your life. Someone who consistently questions your identity, makes you the target of their bigotry, belittles you, etc has no place in your life.
  • Are they treating your other friends right? Can your activist friends, your friends with minority identities, etc, be at a party without being targeted by harmful behavior and microaggressions? You really have a duty to protect your friends from that shit. If it means not inviting a bigoted sister to your wedding, then that’s what you gotta do.
  • Do they cross a boundary beyond which you can not in good conscious be connected to them? This is a very personal one. I couldn’t have a family or friendship connection to a cop, or a deportation-cop, or a prison guard, or a nazi, or a member of a white supremacist group, etc. These things are so far outside what I consider acceptable that I wouldn’t want to give them even the slightest feeling of human connection. I refuse to collaborate in their happiness.

That’s about all I can think of. Oh, and: try to make sure you have some people in your life who do share your politics and support your activism, who will pick you up outside the police station and not give you shit about getting arrested, who will not question your motivation for breaking the law, etc. Having emotional support from comrades like that in your life is very important. To find it, you might need to go to some events without your painfully liberal friend.

If you’re diagnosed or get pathologised or id as mentally ill or neurodivergent, you’re allowed to have alternative interpretations from what a doctor/psychiatrist/therapist might tell you. You’re allowed to have religious, spiritual or other beliefs and use those to explain or contextualise your experiences. You’re allowed to have “weird” beliefs, and to reject the pathologisation of even widespread beliefs that happens to those of us who are diagnosed with mental illnesses. Suddenly it’s not my belief, it’s a symptom! EFF that! And even more so if it fits in with your culture’s/religion’s beliefs but those are marginalised or misunderstood by your doctor/psychiatrist/therapist (or whoever else is doing the pathologisation).

I find it really stressful to see people from my “community” with the same diagnosis as me always reject and discredit some of my beliefs, as though I can’t be both mentally ill and believe in “weird” stuff (or rather stuff that’s not even too weird when neurotypicals believe in it). Just as it must be stressful and harmful to have a spiritual/religious interpretation of mental illness/neurodiversity pushed on you.

I’d just hope we could accept the fact that people believe in different things and that that’s ok and that their right to do so doesn’t stop as soon as mental illness/neurodivergency/something diagnosable is concerned!

Those same people who try to categorally refuse any spiritual interpretation of some of my symptoms are otherwise not religiously intolerant. It’s only when it comes to mental illness/neurodivergency… (And sometomes from others who are mentally ill/neurodivergent themselves!)