hfhfhfh okay so this is going to be about the tags in the prev post that has shit abt the bpd community here on tumblr (which is like okay yeah i find posts that help me feel less alone and stuff and stuff i can relate w but like…. *sigh*)
(before we actually get into this i just wanna say i can’t speak for EVERY PERSON who has bpd or any other disorder. this is just my opinion and how i see things and if you wish to POLITELY talk to me about it I’d prefer if you’d do it off anon and explain calmly if you have anything against this post/anything i said, etc. Just a nice calm talk please)
Okay, so like i get it, it’s fucking hard to deal w splitting/not getting attention or reassurance due to our lack of relationship object permanence/having a shitty mindset that makes us believe we are horrible/etc. etc. but???? that should never EVER be used as an excuse for any action that is horrible/bad/abusive?
like yeah okay, we split with people but like why not try asking for some time alone so you can calm down or try talking to someone else if you’re okay with that to help you chill out?? (idk, each person w bpd has different ways to cope w splitting ig) but don’t?? suicide bait someone???? because they said something you didn’t like/aren’t paying attention to you??? that’s literally so horrible and idc if you have bpd or what other disorder/mental illness. You don’t do that shit that’s fucking horrible.
People not CATERING or ADJUSTING to your needs should not allow you to be abusive or show abusive behaviors and when someone tells you that you are being abusive you DON’T try to defend yourself and JUSTIFY your actions by saying you have ____ etc. because it doesn’t justify it. You should admit to your mistakes and behavior and WORK on them to try and be a better person. It is gonna be hard work and honestly it’s probably not gonna entirely go your way but if you work on it little by little it probably will get a bit better instead of just not trying and lashing out at people constantly.
the post I linked (and the post that resulted in this post) honestly had some good points. You shouldn’t turn these things into a cute quirks or whatever. It’s true that some of the images in that post is what most of us would feel and relate with but if you have some way to like deal with it in a healthy manner/cope then that’s good! but if you don’t you should probably try finding a way to help you cope for the time being? instead of lashing out and being angry at people/the world for a problem/behavior you could work on fixing a bit (like I said, it won’t be easy)
There are good people in the bpd community that understand these things and that’s great!! Awesome!! but for those who refuse to try and change and want people to cater to them then my dudes… you’re not going to have healthy relationships if you’re gonna be that way. Sorry to say, but that’s just how it is and it really comes down to you trying to fix your behavior (on your own or with help. It’s okay if it’s either one, so long as you try my guy). And if this means analyzing and reanalyzing the things you do/your behavior and finding out what IS abusive and you changing that then do it.
Ok so ik I haven’t been posting like at all mainly bc I’m stressed in summer school rn and mentally I’m just out of it so I’m sorry for that. Anyways, to help give me motivation you guys if you want can send in requests of certain types of prompts and stuff like that and I’ll try to get to them quickly. Again sorry for the horrible posting times but feel free to send in asks now!
Sometimes it’s hard to explain to people how I simultaneously love girls so freaking much but also have internalized lesbophobia that makes it harder for me to view myself in a loving and committed relationships with a woman because of society’s fetishization of lesbians and wlw to the point where being with a girl just feels like I’m part of some kink to get straight men off