so close to him i cry

My favorite thing about being pregnant is how in love with my husband I am. I love him a lot normally, but these past months I have felt so close and connected to him. Everyone loves to joke about the crazy pregnancy hormones. Showing pregnant people either crying uncontrollably, enraged, or overly horny, but for me it’s mainly been bursting with love. He’s been an amazing partner so far. I haven’t had to do anything these past 7 months, yet he is constantly thanking me and telling me what a great job I am doing. He knows that my anxiety and insecurities are playing havoc with my brain right now, but has never made me feel anything but valid in what I am feeling. I love carrying this little girl that is part of me and part of him. I’ll never get over how amazing that is. We’ve gone through so much to get here and I know that Kennedy is the best parts of both of us. This baby is a new adventure for us, but I have no doubt that I chose the right person to go on this journey with. A true partner in every sense.

I am stupidly head over heels right now and I know this feeling is only going to grow once I see him holding our daughter. Our daughter. Wow. I can’t believe how quickly she will be here. We’ve waited for this for so long, and very soon we will be a complete family. I can’t wait to see him as a father.

anonymous asked:

How would the US and SF skelebrothers react is their S/O broke up with them, but then later they found out it was because they didn't think they were good enough for them.

For some reason, it seems like the universe is against me today. I had to rewrite this three times because google kept closing itself.

US!Sans: He’s a crying mess when you break up with him. Clinging to you and begging you not to go. He doesn’t understand. What did he do wrong? Why wont you tell him what he did. He can fix it. He knows that he can. You just have to tell him what he did and it’ll all be okay after. When you refuse, and instead leave him there on his own. He doesn’t know how to handle it. So he tries to follow you. He’ll be blowing up your phone for the next few hours because you can’t leave like this.

The next few weeks are hard for him. He’s not good at dealing with emotions this deep. And he’ll be pendling from sadness to anger. The anger is mostly at himself, but a tiny part of him is angry at you for hurting him like this. You weren’t supposed to make him feel like this. And he wants you back at the same time he wants to hate you. Just to make it easier.  

Until he finds out why. And he shows up at your doorstep, trying not to cry as he pulls you in for a hug. He’s so so sorry for making you believe you weren’t good enough. He may be great, but so are you. And this is all his fault for not telling you often enough. The next few days are filled with cuddles and compliments. He can’t ever risk losing you because you thought you weren’t good enough for him.

US!Papyrus: He’s quiet while you break up with him. Lighting a cigarette and looking at you quietly while he finishes it in record time. He listens to your arguments without interrupting, but if you think that he’s going to let you go without a fight you’re very wrong. For every reason to break up with him he’ll counter with one of his own of why you shouldn’t. His voice is calm and on the outside he seems collected, but on the inside he is panicking. It’s not until you’re actually about to up and leave that he reacts. He grabs your arm and tries to pull you back slightly. Please don’t leave him. Please. When you pull your arm free and walks out he’s just standing there, looking after you. He feels the sadness creeping up on him and it’s oddly numbing.

In the next few days the areas under his eyes turn dark from a lack of sleep. And he reeks of cigarette smoke. He’s practically living on the balcony, smoking cigarette after cigarette. He’d do it inside the house. But he knows that if you were to come back you’d never forgive him for it. It’s a small pathetic hope but he’s willing to hold on to it. It’s something.

He hears about why you broke up at him when he’s hanging at Muffet’s a month later. And he’s immidieatly hit with guilt. Because he understands why you would think that. He flirts with everything, it’s part of his personality. And even though he toned it down when you two became a thing, he realizes that he never actually stopped. And instead of getting jealous and telling him to quit it, you quietly let him do it until you decided that you weren’t good enough for him? Stars he messed this up.

He finds you when you’re at work. Sneakily creeping up behind you and teleporting you to his house. He stands in front of you while awkwardly rubbing his neck, avoiding eye contact. He’s not good with apologies, but you deserve one. And he tells you that you are way out of his league, and just way too good for him. And he really doesn’t deserve to get you back. But please. He didn’t realize how much it hurt you.

SF!Sans: He is both angry and sad. But at first he simply refuses. And he’s trying to tell you that you don’t mean what you’re saying. You can’t break up with him. So he’s going to go calm down somewhere and let you get to your senses. But you can’t be a pushover if you’re dating him, so that’s not going to work. He gets more and more desperate. And in the end you’ll have him pleading, begging you to stop this nonsense. He’s telling you to rethink it and that ‘’You don’t mean what you’re saying right now- No Y/N don’t interrupt me, listen to me you’re not thinking straight!’’ Even though he’s as upset as he is, he’s still trying to be diplomatic, borderline manipulative. It’s the only way he knows he can make you stay. But it doesn’t work. And when you’ve truly walked away from him. He sinks down onto his knees and stares after you. One part of him wants to curl up and cry, another part wants to destroy every living thing in a one mile radius of his house. He ends up wrecking the place until it’s unrecogniseble.

He keeps trying to contact you during the following days. And eventually he shows up at wherever it is you’re staying. And he demands that you tell him exactly why you broke up with him. If only so that he can at least move on (He’s lying, he’s not planning on moving on anytime soon). When you finally cave and tel him your reasons, it’s like the annoyance and superiority he’s been faking melts away. And he actually whispers oh. This wasn’t what he had expected. Not even close. He pulls you in harshly for a hug despite your protests, and he prepares himself to swallow his pride. Which is already damaged beyond repair from his little temper tantrum. When he moves back from the hug he actually apologizes. And promises to never let you feel like that again, if you’ll take him back. It’s a promise he intends to keep for the rest of his life.

SF!Papyrus: When you break up with him, it’s like he’s just standing there taking a scolding. He knew that you had been too good to be true. But he didn’t think it’d end like this and it hurts. He doesn’t even bother with trying to keep a cool expression. Tears are dripping down his cheeks as he asks you to stay, begs you. In his quiet voice. He doesn’t expect you to, you looked like you’d made up your mind already. And even though he’s hurt and his natural instincts are telling him to be angry he can’t. Not at you. So when you’re saying your goodbyes he studies your face instead. Trying to memorize it in all it’s tearstained beauty. He holds on to that mental picture. He’s thinking that at least those tears seemed to be for him, and not you. He’s not sure if that’s making him feel better though. It just makes his mind go on a constant loop of why.

He isolates himself after this. Meaning that it takes him literal months to hear why you broke up with him. It’s Sans who spills the beans, after hearing it from Alphys while training. He only told his brother so he’d stop moping around the house and go fix his relationship or whatever.

When Russ finds you, he teleports you to his rooms and locks the door behind him. For a second it looks like he’s going to murder you, you’d forgotten how scary he really is. Especially when he’s got you pushed up against a wall and he’s towering over you.

But then he starts talking, almost too quick for you to hear. Like he’s nervous.     ‘’I know why you broke up with me. And if you really think that I’m the better one in this relationship then I don’t know what the hell to tell you, but you should know better. This whole thing you did was complete bullshit and if you’d just talked to me back then, we wouldn’t have had to go through this for literal months. And I don’t know if you’ve moved on already, I haven’t. But I’m not going to let you carry on without knowing that you are a cute fucking idiot and I am not too good for you, you’re the one who’s way too good for me and I don’t know why you fell for me of all people in the first place’’-

He’s breathless when he finishes his little speak, and as you’re standing there processing it, and he’s catching his bearings again. He suddenly pulls you in close and kisses you. Soft and gentle but still with the same passion he delivered the speech with. You both melt into it and he wraps his arms around you and tangles his fingers in your hair. Good luck telling him that you still want him to be ancient history after that.

okay but imagine:

the team captains (kuroo, bokuto, oikawa, and ushijima) were going to hang out, but daichi doesn’t show up.  he sends a quick text saying that he’s bailing, which of course seems very odd to his buddies, who know him to be the most reliable of the group (with ushijima at a close second, but he has too much of a tendency to get hopelessly lost to really compete).  so bokuto and kuroo have the brilliant shared idea (”are you thinking what i’m thinking” kind of thing) that they should go take care of him.  of course the other two jump right on bored.

this is sweet and all, but they were not prepared to actually deal with super-pukey and feverish daichi who cries about how suga is on vacation and how he doesn’t deserve suga and is literally just crying for no reason more often than not.  to make things worse, oikawa will be fighting ushijima the whole time, and ushijima only infuriates him more by being completely oblivious to his taunts, despite the fact that his comebacks are on point.  bokuto panics and because oikawa is in a bad mood he insults poor bo, who ends up crying along with daichi, maybe snuggling with him despite kuroo’s alarmed shout that “you are so going to get sick if you do that, bo!”  ushijima is trying to help, but he’s somehow just adding to the chaos: trying to make soup but making a mess instead, stuff like that.  meanwhile, kuroo is the only sane one, but he’s losing it pretty quickly, too, because daichi is really sick and still throwing up and glares at kuroo whenever he tries to take care of him and everyone else is just falling apart and oikawa keeps insulting kuroo’s hair.  as if that weren’t enough, ushijima keeps agreeing with him, and now they’re forming some sort of anti-kuroo alliance and he has no idea what he did to deserve this.

@thehallowedangel check it out, i typed up our first scenario while procrastinating X’D  hope you enjoy!

- cas  =v=

anonymous asked:

So I opened up a discussion with my bf about the little community and the daddy/lg sort of thing and he just went I hope you aren't expecting me to do that I said no I don't like the idea of daddy but I do like the little/caregiver roles I already basically revert to being a child when I'm overwhelmed it would be good to have that as a safe space not a scared space and he just went no chance and called it weird and now I'm just sat in bed crying cause I won't get the chance to try to find myself

I’m so sorry hon. I honestly believe if someone is going to be that mean and they aren’t willing to try new things for you then you need to have a serious conversation and maybe distance yourself until they realize you’re worth more than close mindedness. When daddy and I started this lifestyle neither of us had any clue what we were doing. I brought it up to him and he was completely willing to try it out because that’s what you do in a relationship and now we’re almost a year and a half in and we’re both still madly in love and super happy with the lifestyle choice we made. So that’s my story, maybe take some of it into account when thinking of yours, I don’t know all the details so don’t do anything you feel is wrong but make yourself a priority! Good luck loves 💞

2

i mean can you blame him????

Boundaries
  • Ladynoir:
  • Ladybug: Oh my goodness Chat *flings herself across his stomach* I am menstruating so hard right now.
  • Chat Noir: Gross, get off me.
  • Ladybug: Shhh heating pads don't talk.
  • Chat Noir: *pats her head sympathetically* I'm here for you, Ladyboop.
  • Adrinette:
  • Adrien: *has been left alone in a room with Marinette and has no idea what to say*
  • Marinette: *sitting several feet away from him, wide-eyed, blushing*
  • Adrien: *panicking* So... how's life?
  • Marinette: Oh, heh, you know. Lifelike. *screams internally*
“I love you.” “I know.”

I just picked up the issue of People magazine with Carrie Fisher’s excerpt from The Princess Diarist in it. I read it standing in the aisle at the grocery store, and halfway through I started to cry.

She describes their affair and its conclusion saying:

“So I loved him and he allowed it. That’s as close to a reckoning as I can muster four decades later.”

I’m not sure why this is hitting me in such an emotional way. Maybe it’s because Carrie Fisher, in the persona of her character Leia Organa, has been a part of my life since I was ten. I didn’t really identify with her back at the beginning (she seemed like a grownup, and I was just a kid), but now, when I feel much closer to her in age (I’m fifty to her sixty) - oh, hell yeah.

I’d never heard of “shipping” when I was thirteen and seeing Empire eighty one times in the theater, but Han and Leia were IT for me, and I loved that scoundrel smuggler with all my heart. Maybe that’s why I’m crying. The glimpse into the deep, raw emotions of the nineteen year old girl in love that Fisher was - the reverberating wave of the story I loved and the reality of her relationship with Harrison Ford; it just hurts. It’s beautiful and terrible.

Their climactic scene in Empire:

“I love you.”
“I know.”

My god.

It was real. It was real.

i look in the mirror, bags under my eyes, my hair up in a messy bun. heavy sadness in my eyes. baggy clothes. i just don’t care what i look like, i don’t care about anything

“you need to eat, you’re loosing weight like crazy.” yeah except i’m not hungry at all. i feel sick all the time. so i just keep drinking my powerade.

my eyes are bloodshot from crying for hours. my mom lays there with me and let’s me cry and tries to comfort me. the headaches always there.

i try to talk to new guys but nobody makes me feel anything. all i see is him when i close my eyes. i can’t escape him.

i go into my room and open the box with the note he wrote. “i’ll always love you.” i’m filled with anger as i throw things against the wall in a rage. just being in this room feels like the ghost of him is still here. how can someone love you so much, then they just don’t anymore?

i just want to sleep but i can never stay asleep. i wake up at 230 everyday and can never go back to bed. i’m so tired. my mind and body. is this what it feels like to die? because that’s what this feels like. it’s so much effort to make it through the damn day.

tick
tick
tick

waiting for time to go by because that’s what heals you right? so i wait and i wait. then i realize i have been staring at the wall for 20 minutes. how did i not notice?

“come out with us it will be fun!” i don’t want to go, i have to make myself. i don’t even know what fun is anymore. but i try, i plaster on the fake fun. because nobody wants to see the sad girl who can’t get over the guy who left her suddenly. so i pretend. but i feel like i’m suffocating the whole time. it’s exhausting to pretend.

when people talk about love, they never mention this part. it amazes me how one single person can destroy you and strip away everything that you are. i think of the girl i used to be. i want so badly to get back there. i worry that i’ll never be her again. and deep down i know that i won’t be. i know that i’ll survive, i’ve seen it in many others. it just nearly kills you in the process.

—  Chapters from my life
2

Baekhyun lullabying Aeris to sleep - {{audio}}

Little Star lyrics: (the part Baekhyun sang)

Close your eyes and listen carefully to my story

Before my story ends, you will dream

Little Star~ Tonight~ I will watch over you all night

When i first met you, you are so blinding

When i first saw your smile, it felt like i had the world

Little Star~ Tonight~ I will watch over you all night

When i see you fast asleep in my arms, i can’t take my eyes off you for a second

You’re so pretty, i feel like my breath will stop, how can i fall asleep

My love, my everything, my angel from heaven

Thoughts on Viktor and “Stay Close to Me”

This suddenly clicked on my mind and I needed to get it out.

The “Stay Close to Me” program was a cry for help.

I’ve seen posts showing the translations of the lyrics, and it’s basically about someone afraid of love and full of anger toward it, finally falling for someone and wanting this person to “stay close to them”.

What if Viktor seems so lonely (no significant other, no family mentioned, no friends shown ?) because he actually is. What if his relationships turned short because his partners only wanted to see the skater Viktor, the pretty playboy ? What if they never managed to do what Yuuri does, seeing him as human, wanting him to “be Viktor” ? And they didn’t want to see him as a whole human being, they didn’t want to see the part that aren’t that pretty. They didn’t want him to be awkward or messing up, or not knowing perfectly what to do in every situations. They didn’t want to see him not smiling or being happy and charming all the time. And it hurt Viktor, because he felt even less alone. Being with someone who don’t understand you and don’t really want you.

So he shut down and refused to let anyone close to him. Like Yuuri, he didn’t open up anymore. He kept skating, kept showing people what whey wanted to see, kept surprising them and surpassing himself.

But he felt he was reaching his limit. And mostly, the loneliness started to eat him alive. He was 27-years-old, and he felt like he always been lonely. Watched by thousands of people, but desperately lonely.

So he decided to give it a try. A last try. 

“Stay Close to Me” was a cry for help. It was his love story (maybe why he thought that Yuuri’s theme, “love”, was perfect ?), and the expression of his desire to find someone. He knew he couldn’t skate it perfectly because he didn’t have a significant other. yet. He skated it in the hope of someone seeing it and understanding. He skated it in the hope one day, he could skate it meaningfully (maybe in the duet version that’s put at the end of the official Yuri on Ice tracks list ?)

And it happened.

Yuuri understood. What was supposed to lie behind the program. What it meant. He skated it perfectly on the technical side, but also on the interpretation side. Yuuri had this emotional intelligence, this sensitivity, that made Viktor go “Him. He can understand. He might be the person I was looking for.” 

If you see it that way, it would only make sense Viktor would suddenly be ready to give up everything he knew (”I never thought I would leave this town”), to take a year off of the sport that meant his life, and to go toward the unknown so suddenly. Imagine how it would feel if you got so lonely for years, maybe for most of your life, when you gave up on love and being understood, gave a last try, and found someone, someone who understand. Imagine him seeing the glimpse of connection with Yuuri, hoping that it wouldn’t be a mistake, an other disappointment. Hoping that he’s not looking too much through it, that he’s right. Hoping that this time he really found someone.

Re-think of this scene of the episode 4, where he’s asking to Yuuri what he wants him to be for him. Imagine it being a test, and Viktor deep down thinking “please let me not be wrong. Please.”. Imagine his joy when Yuuri refuses all his offers to finally tell him he wants him to “be Viktor”. At this moment he knows he was right and that Yuuri can be the person who will understand him.

I might be wrong. But to me, “Stay Close to Me” was a cry for help. And Yuuri answered it.

BTS as shit my (Admin Unnie) 18-month-old nephew has done
  • Jin: sees food, decides he is hungry and must be fed even if he ate 2 minutes ago
  • Yoongi: falls asleep at own birthday party
  • Hoseok: does the baby twerk anytime he hears music
  • Namjoon: teaches himself words after hearing us say them (a/n he got so close to saying "shit" yesterday that I started to freak out)
  • Jimin: places hand on my face and pushes my head so I'm looking at him
  • Taehyung: stares at other babies the entire time we're at a restaurant
  • Jungkook: starts crying when another baby cries to prove that he can cry the loudest

Not even close.
Not even a little bit
Not even at all.

I’m sorry, but I just, every time I think about that scene, where Sherlock deduces why the bag is so heavy, and he looks at Faith’s cane, and then sees John in his memory, I just have to stop myself from bawling all over again because that… that destroyed me. Don’t you realize what this means? He knew, from the very beginning, how close John was to ending it all, and he saved him.

Season 1 Sherlock, sentiment is a weakness Sherlock, emotions are inconvenient Sherlock, the rest is just transport Sherlock, saved John, just like he tries to save this girl.

He saved him. he’s always cared and he’s always wanted John safe and god, he’s loved him so long, and it hurts me, christ I’m fuckin crying again I hate this garbage show

Genji

> Genji pls. You’re pretty sure that he should take his minor complaint to Torb instead of you, but you pretend to give him the once-over anyway

> He gets beaten up enough in battle as it is (very squishy), and you don’t know whether to laugh or cry when he comes to you with all his scrapes and cuts, sounding all triumphant and almost a little giddy

> Zenyatta gives you the talk™ at some point

> Eventually with Genji, I imagine the reader calls him out on it and deflates his “aw im so slick” vibe

> Sorry Genji it had to be done

Hanzo

> Hanzo’s doing it not so much because he thinks it’s a good plan but rather…

> It’s his only plan of getting close to you

> Give this repressed nerd a break he has no idea how to flirt and this is the best idea he’s got okay

> Genji gives you the talk™

> “Hanzo I thought you were in the back lines why do you look like you’ve been in a frontal firefight”

> “Because I was”

> hANZO NO

Soldier: 76

> Thinks to himself: “heh I’ve still got it”

> News Flash: he does not

> literally everyone knows what he’s doing. Even Bastion gives you a little nudge.

> Okay Soldier we know you’re the type of guy that gets shot and probably just toughs it out. There’s gotta be something weird going on if you’re asking me to give you a checkup for an upset stomach.

> The most embarrassing one because out of the three guys he’s both the least stealthy and the one that thinks he’s the stealthiest

> You just don’t have the heart to call him out on it though

> Ana and Reinhardt give you the talk™ and you have never been more embarrassed to hear the words “safe sex” come out of someone’s mouth

> He probably ends up asking you out to dinner cuz he “needs to repay you for all your help”


> Admin GK

Why haven’t I noticed before that when Jem hears someone approaching him while he’s playing the violin in his room, the first thing he asks - eyes closed - is “Will? Will, is that you?” and then, in City Of Bones, when Clary first finds Jace playing the piano he asks, without turning to see who just entered the room, “Alec. Is that you?”?

Now I really want to cry because this parallel hurts so much.

“Thank you for not giving up.” Sasuke tells him one night, after a particularly bad nightmare wakes them both up.

His forehead is glistening with sweat as the remains of the dream still linger in his mind.

His eyes are so vulnerable and Naruto just pulls him close to him and holds him tightly.

“Thank you for coming back to me.” he whispers and doesn’t mention the tears that roll down both of their cheeks.

“did he break your heart?”

“no, i don’t think so,” she answers, but she sounds uncertain. the question’s made her reconsider.

after a moment, she says, “he hurt me. there’s no use in denying that.”

he looks at her. “how badly?”

she shrugs, looks down at her shoes. “enough to make me cry. enough… just enough. he hurt me enough.”

he blinks, and rolls a lighter between his fingers. he’s not a smoker, but she is, and he thought he would give it to her, maybe. just to try and get through to her. “did you love him?”

she laughs at this, and tucks her knees into her chest, “nah, not even close.” she sighs, “i could have though, i think.” her eyes darken, “if he’d given me the chance to.”

he’s unsure of how to respond, so he hands her the lighter. “it’s for you,” he mumbles, and she smiles for a fleeting second, takes it from his grasp, and then hands it back.

“no thanks,” she says, and then explains, “i’m trying to quit. i wanna go somewhere, live a long time. can’t do that if i smoke, ya know?”

“yeah, i know, i just thought–”

she squeezes his hand, “i know what you thought, and it’s sweet. you’re sweet.”

he smiles, and for a moment, she smiles back at him. then it slides off her face, and he waits for her to speak.

“it just, it just sucks getting fucked over, ya know?” she runs a hand through her hair, “like, he was so important. it wasn’t that i wanted to date him or any of that, but he was just important. he used to say that i was important too, and that’s what hurts the most, i think. the fact that he just randomly decided that i wasn’t anymore.”

he opens his mouth, but she keeps going. “so i guess, in a way, he might have broken my heart. not enough for me to feel it for a long time, but just enough to remind me that he meant something to me and he fucking walked away.”

“he hurt you enough,” he echoes her previous words.

“yeah, yeah,” she wipes a tear away with the palm of her hand, “he hurt me enough.”

—  “excerpts from a book i’ll never write #2” -c.h. // Instagram: @evanescent.love (via @poeticaffinity)

Alright I have been holding my tongue for nearly three years so I’m finally gonna say it - FUCK Michael Gordon Clifford for Close As Strangers. Fuck him for that beautiful, haunting melody. Fuck him for how soft-emo it is, as if he doesn’t KNOW that is my weakness. Fuck him for the way the piano mixes with guitars and creates such a fucking rich, layered wall of sound that overtakes your entire BEING when you listen to it. Fuck him for the fact that I basically start crying after hearing three notes of the opening guitar line. Fuck him for lyrical POETRY like are we wasting time talking on a broken line and every night i’m losing you in a thousand faces and living dreams in fluorescent lights while you and I are running out of time. FUCK HIM for the way his voice sounds on his verse!? That soft, resonant tone, sweet but tinged with darkness like melted marshmallows with a troubled past, the way he murders us all with beautiful vibrato in the very last line of the song, and then just runs off into the goddam night with that voice and NEVER FUCKING GIVES IT TO US AGAIN QUITE THE SAME ON ANY OTHER SONG?! Fuck him for the way Luke’s voice breaks on the chorus?! Fuck him for the smokey smoothness of Calum’s solo and fuck him for Ashton’s harmonies at the end???? Fuck him for giving us this ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE and then never performing it live??!?!? Never even acknowledging its god-like existence?!?!? FUCK YOU MICHAEL CLIFFORD FOR THIS DAMN SONG. I mean I love you and I hope you’re happy and warm and well fed but. Also fuck you.