Things Corrin’s army is no longer allowed to do
1. Greasing up the kitchen utensils when Felicia is on mess hall duty is forbidden, and quite frankly overkill.
2. Giving Dwyer a notebook and telling him to write names in it is no longer allowed. We’re pretty sure it was just coincidence last time, but we’re not taking any chances.
3. Please stop offering Keaton dog treats to complete whatever menial task you have for him. It’s probably very offensive.
4. Disregard the above. -Keaton
5. Peri does not cook and serve human beings, and it is wrong to encourage this rumor.
6. Smiling and winking when someone asks what’s on the menu counts as “encouraging this rumor.”
7. Kiragi, please stop leaving your traps where Setsuna can find them.
8. Lilith is not a fish. Placing her in a bowl filled with water will kill her. Please stop trying to do so.
9. Please do not read Nina’s diary aloud at dinner.
10. Being a “proud father trying to share his daughter’s magnum opus” is not an excuse.
11. There has been a general failure to follow rule 2. Therefore, stricter enforcement is necessary. Further violators will lose bath house privileges.
12. As an addendum, events of recent days are still just a coincidence.
13. We are now implementing a Daily Setsuna Hunt. Participation is mandatory until all holes in the area have been patched.
14. The nonhuman members of this army are not mounts when in their transformed states.
15. Do not hide things in Ryoma’s hair.
16. Do not hide in Ryoma’s hair.
17. We do not have a “casual Friday.” Even if we did, it would not be an excuse to wear a bath towel into battle.
18. It is inappropriate to shout “flame on!” whenever Rinkah walks into the room.
19. Likewise, it is also inappropriate to greet Felicia or Flora with “ice to meet you.”
20. Missing a 99% hit chance is grounds for an immediate dishonorable discharge.
21. Azama, please stop sharing your philosophy on life and death with Midori. She’s been crying for three days now.
22. The Stoneborn are dangerous weapons, not pets.
23. Keaton and Velouria, please stop hiding your “treasures” in the kitchen. It is a major health code violation.
24. Stop telling Odin all the generic Fire tomes are special. We don’t have the funds for this.
25. Niles, we’re serious about this.
26. Corrin, we have received numerous complaints about noise from your treehouse. Please refrain from playing the drums at night.
To whoever has been hanging unflattering portraits of Xander and Ryoma around the castle, please stop. They are negatively affecting morale.
28. Full apologies to the artist in question.
29. Midori does not “got dat dank kush.” Stop asking.
30. Complaints submitted in haiku will be dismissed. Please stop, Mitama.
31. Saizo’s face under the mask is completely normal, and he does not moonlight as an opera singer. Stop telling new recruits otherwise.
32. Orochi cannot give you tomorrow’s lottery numbers. Her fortunes do not work that way.
33. As a matter of fact, our lottery doesn’t even work that way.
34. “Lost In Thoughts All Alone” is no longer allowed at karaoke night.
35. All of Dwyer’s notebooks are to be burned immediately.
Idea stolen directly from this. Credit to /u/clicky_pen on reddit for number 24 and 25.