you know what I really love self insert culture… I love the “tag urself I’m…” trend, I love the “look at my bf/gf/bff/..” trend when reblogging pics of your faves and saying stuff like “this is a picture of our first date…” etc etc,
I love that self- or reader-insert fics and fanart exist and that people make all these reactions/imagines and whatever else, because it means you’re recognizing yourself and you’re deeming yourself worthy of inserting yourself in the universes you love so much and let yourself interact with the people you look up to and it makes me smile when I see ppl talking about themselves
so idgaf if others call any of that cringey because i think it’s a nice tool for us to get closer to ourselves and to put ourselves out there and even if it’s in a sarcastic or slightly negative way you’re still talking about yourself and your feelings and that’s a Good Thing imo
hey!! you dont have to if you dont want but you qanna share those femslash recs? :p sorry if this is bothersome
omg i love reccing my fave fics i’ve made a list before but i cant find it. anyway. please keep in mind i haven’t gone f/f fic hunting in a while, so if anyone has any more to add just tell me and i can put them on this list (after i read them)
I try to only include more recent ones (as in, not from like 2011) but some are just. Classic
first of all: @roxilalonde aka @tactfulgnostalgic writes my fave femslash ever so this list will be like 50% her fics. in fact, here is a link to her ao3 homestuck profile. but my FAVOURITES to start off with are:
Love Letters In Digital Ink - a true classic. well, depends on how old a fic has to be to become a classic but it’s definitely way up there. Rosemary, the best characterisation ever, hilarious dialogue between all the characters. Rose runs a blog and Kanaya is a fan who moves next door, unbeknownst to Ever A Lesbian Rose Lalonde, who happens to like telling her followers how fucking gay she is for The Cute Girl Who Is Also Her Neighbour.
The Love We Deserve - this is the vrisrezi fic that made me cry. i am not a serial crier, guys. it’s actually half of a two part series called A Study In Heroes, the other part being Terezi’s POV. Essentially a study of Vriska’s character throughout the events of canon Homestuck, and it’s gorgeous.
Lilith And The Morningstar - some sweet, wonderful JANEROXY. Roxy is a daemon and Jane is an angel and as it goes, sometimes you just gotta fall in love with your best friend. Some parts towards the end will make you heavy-hearted, i swear to god Roxi is So Good. Also has some of my favourite Dirk moments, because everyone knows dirk is the best cameo character ever. He’s such a fuckin’ weirdo.
i wont link the rest here but all of roxi’s fics are good and dangerous and good is my favourite thing ever.
FROM OTHER AUTHORS! we have:
And The Handmaid Shall Take The Hindmost - Basically, the outlaw pirate trolls alternia-somehow-still-exists adventure vrisrezi fic you always wanted. Terezi abandons her life as a lawful legislacerator and joins forces with notorious pirate Vriska Serket to help smuggle Karkat….somewhere. Probably the best, most gripping, hilarious and well written fic of its kind out there. Still ongoing, but it’s already quite long. Some fantastic worldbuilding and excellent characterisation for all.
An Earth-Shattering Confession- I’m pretty sure everyone’s already read this, or at least, it’s the top ACTUAL ROSEMARY fic in the rosemary tag as far as i know (the rest of the first page in the tag is pretty much all clogged up, john//dave or dave//kat or dirk//jake centric, and i’m not salty? i’m not? bitter? what are you talking about)
Losing Count (link is to a tumblr page) - a cute jaderose oneshot that encompasses all my ‘First Gay Crush’ feelings about jaderose as a ship. it’s super cute. i love them.
Diverse Concerns - OKAY, I GET IT. THIS ISN’T EXACTLY FEMSLASH, PER SE. but. basically rose and vriska have a drunk heart-to-heart with each other one the meteor and it is Very Good. please be aware that yes, the fic does not go into the issue of rose’s alcoholism (much) and it is treated mildly flippantly for the purposes of the story.
ARMYs are currently panicking on Twitter at no sighting of BTS airport photos😅
GIST: BTS usually get spotted at the airport every time they traveled to another country and when they arrived at their destination. However, nobody has seen them near the airport in South Korea or in L.A. It is speculated they boarded a private jet or some such.😂 We ARMYs are worried since they have a schedule for The Late Late Show with James Corden tomorrow, and we have not heard from them. We expect some hair color change again and BTS and Big Hit once more being sneaky😅
May 13, 2016. Singles: “Angels,” “No Problem,” “Summer Friends” Leave it up to Chance to change the game. Fans anticipated Chance the Rapper’s third mixtape and his unique brand of goofy and experimental hip hop, but what we received blew expectations out of the water. Chance’s mixtape is critically acclaimed and has hit many accomplishments, including being the first streaming-only album to ever receive a Grammy nomination (and most likely, a win).
2. Solange’s “A Seat at the Table”
September 30, 2016. Saint Records & Columbia Records. Singles: “Cranes in the Sky” Solange is many things all at once: a trendsetter, innovator, activist, eloquent, unique and daring. Nothing illustrates these points better than her third studio album. A Seat at the Table is bold in showcasing the many facets of being a black woman in today’s society. She moves through a range of emotions - anger, despair, empowerment - in time with a range of musical styles - funk, neo soul, R&B. It’s both classic and modern in a way that only Solange could ever get away with.
3. Beyoncé’s “Lemonade”
April 23, 2016. Parkwood Entertainment & Columbia Records. Singles: “Formation,” “Sorry,” “Hold Up,” “Freedom,” “Daddy Lessons,” “All Night” When life hands you lemons, you kick the world in the teeth while it’s asleep. At least that’s what you do when you’re Beyoncé. Everyone is aware that Mrs. Knowles-Carter can do exactly what she wants, when she wants. For example: release not one, but two, full visual concept albums without anyone’s knowledge. Beyoncé’s sixth studio album, and second visual album, has been lauded for being a raw and honest look at the intricacies of rebuilding trust after betrayal - in more ways than one. It’s heartfelt, introspective, infectious and just plain good.
4. “The Hamilton Mixtape”
December 2, 2016. Atlantic Records. Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Broadway musical Hamilton has swept the nation, but Miranda long intended for a mixtape of selected songs from the musical to be released. We waited, he delivered. Various artists - from The Roots and Nas to Sia and Regina Spektor - collaborated to bring another perspective to an already larger than life phenomenon.
5. Ariana Grande’s “Dangerous Woman”
May 20, 2016. Republic Records. Singles: “Dangerous Woman,” “Into You,” “Side to Side” With an incredible voice and a penchant for creating pop perfection, Ariana Grande’s third studio album was exactly what radio needed. A big chorus and an even bigger voice can cure anything during those summer months, and Grande delivers just that. She stuns with her variance in styles, from the Old Hollywood feel of “Dangerous Woman” to Future’s trap influences on “Everyday.” This album shows how she’s experimenting and maturing in terms of sound, but still feels so much like the same Ari.
6. BANKS’ “The Altar”
September 30, 2016. Harvest Records. Singles: “Fuck with Myself,” “Gemini Feed,” “Mind Games,” “To the Hilt” Jillian Banks is back with a vengeance in her sophomore album, a confident and unapologetic take on her battles with love and personal growth. Banks’ knows her craft well, seamlessly flowing across her genre with sultry vocals and large choruses that dare you not to sing along.
7. The 1975′s “I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it”
February 26, 2016. Dirty Hit, Interscope Records, Polydor Records, Vagrant Records. Singles: “Love Me,” “UGH!,” “Somebody Else,” “The Sound,” “A Chance of Heart,” “She’s American” The 1975 sure does know how to make some fucking weird pop brilliance. After a bit of social media induced panic, fans of The 1975 just wanted the second album they could get high and cry to. What they got was only partially that. I Like It When You Sleep… is youthful and reflective in the same way their debut album was, but with a lot more funk and tumblr aesthetics. It’s young love with lots of gang vocals and self-deprecating humor. It’s 2016 - odd and beautiful.
8. Rihanna’s “ANTI”
January 28, 2016. Westbury Road & Roc Nation. Singles: “Work,” “Kiss It Better,” “Needed Me,” “Love on the Brain” Rihanna has a trend of releasing albums one right after another, so when the wait for her eighth studio album spanned almost four years, no one really knew what to expect. ANTI provides the radio-ready hits that we know and love, but also ventures into belting ballads and melodic string-led waltzes. It’s edgy and adventurous in true Rihanna fashion and keeps you on the edge of your toes (and the middle of the dance floor).
9. NAO’s “For All We Know”
July 29, 2016. Little Tokyo Recordings. Singles: “Bad Blood,” “Fool to Love,” “Girlfriend” Let’s start here: “Nay-O.” There’s your pronunciation, now let’s get into the nitty gritty. The wave of synth/electropop and alternative R&B musicians has been big, but just when you think you’ve heard it all, there’s always a newcomer who takes your breath away. Enter NAO. She’s featured on other artists’ albums, such as Disclosure and Mura Masa, but it was time for her to astonish with her own creations. The album is a soothing feel good vibe that invokes a dreamy state of mind. For All We Know takes you to several different places, but you’re always happy to be along for the ride.
10. Little Mix’s “Glory Days”
November 18, 2016. Syco Records & Columbia Records. Singles: “Shout Out to My Ex,” “Touch” I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: GIRL BANDS DESERVE MORE CREDIT. And with their fourth studio album, Little Mix are demanding it. Every trend that music has seen over the past year or two, Little Mix has somehow incorporated into this ambitious work that should have debuted at Coachella or something. As always, their vocals game is on point. The girls manage to swing from Motown to club bangers to girl power anthems without breaking a sweat. I don’t know how else to say it except: where is their Grammy?
I guess I just realized that I’ve spent so many years hating the skin I’m in and I am tired of looking in the mirror and not liking what I see. I try to love every inch of myself now and accept that I can’t change what I have so I might as well love it. All the time I could’ve spent having fun and going out; I spent dissecting every inch of my body and it makes me sad to think off all the time wasted.
Ahhh! I love Andre! XD You’ve all started a trend!
Everyone loves Andre apparently! Which I am A-OK with! I wrote a version of
this, hated it, so I rewrote it and LOVE IT now (even though it’s kind of short
sorry)! So anon I hope you do too!!! Once again everyone let me know what you
Note: Ok I figured out how to queue things so as long as the
imagine gets written, I’ll post one at 10 pm Eastern Standard time and one at 10 am Eastern Standard time!!! (That’s two a day until the requests stop!)
Warnings: Alcohol, flirting
Anon Request: I have another Andre request😂
sorry if it’s annoying and you don’t have to write it you don’t want to. Can
you do a date night and some guy hits on andres gf and he gets jealous. Thank
on a barstool, swirling your drink with the stirrer, looking towards the door
every few minutes.
Cassetticon Carriers being like "I love my strange minicon and celebrate their differences. Please take a moment to appreciate them with me." Meanwhile the human is attempting to run. "Look it how cute they are. They love playing chase." Every other bot is just kinda "👀 Do we step in or..? No, no I don't wanna die today." The other minicons just so in love with their new sibling and happily playing tag with them. :)
I can totally picture this taking place in RiD2015! Think of all the Decepticons clamoring for their own minibots on that show!
Soundwave would probably start the trend off by imprinting on a human and caring for them like his own cassettes. All the other cons would think it’s really bizarre until they see how happy his new human makes him, then it’s like “no fair! How come Soundwave gets his own human and we don’t?”
Cue the mad scramble for all these vicious, predatory Decepticons to find and collect their own little human minicons, because no way Soundwave’s gonna one up any of them! ;)
hiiii can you write something where you're famous as well and a really negative article about harry comes out and you want to take it down so you and your team talk to whoever posted it but they demand a story of yours instead and you give them something really personal and then harry finds out? (sorry it's so specific it's based on a dream I had haha)
This Is Going To Kill Him (Harry Styles Imagine)
Summary:There is a rude article written about Harry, and Y/N using the power she has in Hollywood (she is well known also), takes down the article and shares a personal story about herself to hopefully help others, and even posts a loving picture talking about the ‘real Harry Styles’.
Warnings: partial swearing, mention of depression, insecurities, and eating disorders
A/N: Y/B/F/N= your best friend’s name
Sorry I have been inactive over the weekend, I’ve been busy this past weekend, but I’m back! Again, thank you for all the support and love you all give to me. Thank you soooo much! Requests are still open, and I will be updating my series this week!
“This is going to kill him”, Y/N says as she puts the laptop on the counter in front of her, gets up, and walks over into the kitchen to get a glass of water.
“I’m sorry for coming over here so early” Y/B/F/N says looking at the clock that reads 8:37am, “I just thought you would want to know, so you can maybe prevent Harry from reading it”.
“Thank you for showing me. It’s just so frustrating how someone can write absolute trash that has no actual facts or truth to it, and can just destroy someone’s character and not even get in trouble about it. Yes, I know we have right to freedom of speech, but that doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole. Like this” Y/N says walking over to the living room to grab her laptop again and reads the article,
“Harry Styles spotted out with girlfriend, Y/N. We use the term girlfriend very, VERY, loosely, as you have seen Styles’s track record. But Y/N may be different as we have seen them together more than two minutes, we mean, weeks. We don’t understand what Y/N sees in him. We over here on WEGOSSIP, couldn’t date someone who has been with over thirty of forty women before us. Harry doesn’t even deny it! In one of his latest interviews, the interviewer asked what the boys are looking forward to when they go on their break, and Harry said how he sleeps in different beds every night, and it will be nice to sleep in his own bed on his time off!”
“That’s not even all he said, or what he said, or what he meant!” Y/N says angrily. “He said he misses sleep in his own bed because of tour they have to move from hotel to different hotel every single night. He miss familiarity.”
“Not to be insensitive, but, this is what comes with fame. Don’t you think Harry is used to it almost by now?” Y/B/F/N asks cautiously.
“You’re right to an extent. People will lie and be cruel and hate you, but this article, the people who write it get paid for it. They aren’t just being what people call haters, but they are professional article writers who are destroying someone’s character.” Y/N says.
“It just hurts, because it reminds of like four years ago, when I found Harry reading mean comments people wrote about his performance. Harry was performing, and he didn’t have breath control when he hit a note, so he didn’t hit it like he usually does. He was beating himself up all night after the performance. He secluded himself from everyone in his room. When I walked in, I found his phone screen smashed across the room and him with his hand in his hands. He was in tears. He believed all the nasty things people were saying about him. He actually looked me in the eyes, and asked me if he was a good enough singer. We weren’t dating at the time, just friends, but it hurt to see him like that, so insecure, so broken. He was so close to giving up doing what he loved because of people’s opinions.” Y/N says sadly.
“This article isn’t just hating on him, they are trying to destroy him. I mean look at the title of the article “HARRY STYLES: ROLEMODEL OR MANWHORE?” Y/N says pointing to the screen.
“So, what are you going to do?” Y/B/F/N asks.
“I have connections to people who can order to take it down. But after, we will give the attention that Harry deserves, we will show people who the real Harry Styles is. The loving, caring, gentlemen he is.” Y/N says smiling.
~On Clever News, at 3:47pm~ “Y/N is possibly one of the best girlfriends in our books”, Mariam reports, “Recently today the internet went into a frenzy when a false and hateful article went out about our favorite dimpled green eye cutie, calling him a manwhore, and misquoting him.”
The YouTube video cuts to pictures of snippets from the article, and Mariam explaining what the article said, and showing where the article had misquoted him.
“Awful right?” Mariam continues as the video shows her again, “But miss Y/N was not having it. One of our favorite singer turned actress, shut that article AND website down.”
Again, the video cuts to the public statement that the article writers put out saying they are pulling down the article, and posting a very personal story about her, which Y/N requested herself happens, in which it talks about Y/N dealing with her struggles of loving herself, and being bullied in high school.”
“In the article she says,
“In school I got really badly bullied. It all started in middle school when I was taller than all the other girls. I went through puberty earlier. I remember the girls making fun of me because of my height, my acne, braces, and my glasses. I stopped eating, I stopped talking to people around me. In high school it just got worse. My body type wasn’t right, my style wasn’t right. It seemed not matter how much I changed myself, I didn’t fit in. Then one day, I got really sick of stories where the prince always saves the girl. Why couldn’t the girl save herself? So, that’s what I did. I changed my story. I lived life on my own terms, I saved myself for myself.”
“So incredibly inspiring” Mariam says, “but, she didn’t stop there, after the article was released, she wrote a loving caption to a picture she posted shortly ago about her boyfriend, saying…”
“My love, there are many people who are hateful. There are many people who are always going to find something wrong with you. But you have taught me to just love. I love you so much. You have been nothing but a respectful gentlemen, and boyfriend to me these past months we’ve been dating. I am so lucky to have first met you on X Factor, to becoming really close friends over the past few years, to now soulmates these past few months. I love you with all of my heart Harry Styles, never forget that.”
“And she even started the Hashtag #ILoveYouHarry, which is now trending internationally, with fans flooding Harry with support, and love”.
“Ugh”, Mariam jokes around groaning, “Can you feel my heart melting?” she jokingly asks.
“Tell us what you think in the comments below about…”, and before the video could end Harry shuts it off. Harry brings Y/N into his side, and kisses the top of her forehead as they sit on the couch.
“You didn’t have to do all that.” Harry says finally breaking the silence, “It wasn’t a big deal, interviewers make those rude passive aggressive comments all the time”.
“Yeah, but, I have the platform to tell people that it’s not okay. That we need to treat each other with respect. That it doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from, what skin color you are, what social class you are, what gender, religion, or sexuality you are, that we are all equal, we are all human, and we all deserve respect.”
Harry looks deeply into Y/N’s eyes for a minute. Y/N has never been the one to speak a lot, she is usually the listener, while Harry is the talker.
“What?” Y/N says blushing away from the gorgeous green eyes staring at her.
“I love you. I love your heart, your passion, everything. Every day, you just give me another reason to love you. God, Y/N I just fucking love you.”
“I love you too Harry. Never, ever forget that.” Y/N says while snuggling into his side looking up at him.
“I won’t baby.” Harry promises, kissing her forehead.
I hope whoever requested it, liked it! Thank you again for everyone that have been so supportive! Love you all! Requests are open on my blog! Have a great Monday! xoxo
Psst, we all know the reason TG fandom is alive again because of Hide. This fandom was dying but that boy's reappearance has saved us all and now we've awoken from our slumber. TG is always trending because of best boy.
It always makes me happy to see so many people excited for Hide! He deserves all the love!
I don’t know, peeps, I think I maybe was a bit too subtle again. XD
I’ve been looking through some of my comments on the latest chapter while trying to wake up enough to respond to them (I’m solo parenting again while Io is out of town) and I’m seeing a bit of a trend. Not every comment, but enough that I’m worried about me getting across what I’m trying to get across without going all screedy in text.
When Yuuri’s thinking about Shouta and how he feels about Shouta he thinks of what he would say in all three languages he speaks and even admits that if he were speaking English or Russian, he’d say that he loves Shouta. So it’s wrong to say that he doesn’t love Shouta. But that’s in English and Russian.
In Japanese “aishiteru” or “I love you” is SERIOUS BUSINESS. (And Yuuri is actually going to have a conversation about this in the fic at one point, but I really want to address this right now just a little). I think most everyone that has watched anime of some sort has come across the kokukahu or love confession. The thing is, the actual translation is “love” but not “love” they don’t use aishitemasu. They’re using “suki” or “daisuke”. Literally I “like” you or I “really like” you. Or I love you, but not that super deep only for one person ever love but more the way I get excited and say I love Chris Evans. Or I love Yuri!!! on Ice. Or the way teenagers talk about how much they *love* their SO. I love him/her so so much, you don’t understand. That’s all in English, btw. That’s closer to daisuke.
But what I’m getting at is that a teenager isn’t going to use “ai”. And that is kinda what Yuuri is ruminating on. If he was speaking another language, he’d be saying love. But he’s not. In Japanese it’s not ai… it’s suki. In Yuuri’s case right now it’s daisuki.
And we know from canon that Yuuri’s love isn’t straightforward. And we know that he put a shit ton of thought into using “Ai” as a theme before doing it. And you’ll notice that everyone is really taken aback when they’re watching the presser because Yuuri wasn’t using suki to talk about Viktor, he was using ai…
Now I could be completely wrong, but I have read so many articles and forum posts about the difference between like and love both in language and as a cultural thing in Japan, so I hope that I got that right. Please oh please I hope that I got it right because it’s kinda important storywise…
A.N.- It is with great sadness, yet pride that I give you the last chapter of No Excuses. As this story comes to a close, is like to thank all of you who have stuck with this story, even though I started it at the beginning of summer, and am only finishing now 😂 Thank you for giving me this opportunity to put my writing out here on Tumblr, and for inviting me into this family.
~ 3 Months later ~
“Hello everyone, welcome back to my channel! In today’s video I am going to be doing…” I sighed as I watched the edited version of my latest YouTube video, that I had just posted a few minutes ago.
The feedback I was receiving was only getting worse by the second. People sent hate comment after hate comment, with what seems to be no regrets. I don’t understand how someone can intentionally hurt another person with no remorse?
The comments stung. A lot.
“You’re a whore. You don’t deserve Grayson.”
“You called yourself Kayla’s ‘best friend’, and you go and sleep with her boyfriend behind her back? You’re a fucking walking Cliche.”
“What kind of person steals her best friends man, and doesn’t even apologize?”
That last one got to me. They had no idea what they were talking about. What Grayson had gone through, what Kayla had done to him, what I did. They only knew what Kayla told them, the day after her relationship with Gray ended.
I had only received the news when the #Graythecheater started trending on Twitter. Kayla had blocked me on all social medias, therefore resulting in my lack of knowledge of her posts.
She had spilled everything to them. Everything but the truth, that is. In a video one of my fans sent me of Kayla in a livestream on Instagram, she sat on her bed, with red rimmed eyes, and mascara tracks running down her face from her tears.
“I just…” she swallowed, and wiped away a tear. “I feel so betrayed, you know? She was my best friend, I loved her. I loved him. I loved them both, and they go and they do this to me?”
The comments on the screen were going wild, as people called me and Gray various names, saying that we had only done it for attention, and to hurt Kayla.
Kayla looked blankly at the screen as she read some of the comments, nodding along and replying to some of them. One them asked “did you suspect anything was going on between them?”
“No, no I didn’t, that’s why this is so hard.” She laughed sadly, and groaned. “I know that this will get to you, El. If you’re watching this, I hope you’ve realized that what you’ve done is unforgivable. I supported you, I picked you up when you fell down, Im the one who fucking convince you to come to LA and pursue your dreams in the first place, and this is how you repay me?”
Kayla intentionally didn’t mention her affair with Jared. She couldn’t risk tying her reputation as the victim, and she basked in the attention she was receiving because she knew we wouldn’t say anything. She knew we didn’t want to draw anymore attention to ourselves than there already was.
And that’s what hurts the most about this whole godawful mess: That she was hurting me on purpose. Not that she found out, or that Gray and I were constantly being tormented for continuing to be together after we were exposed, and certainly not that she cut off all ties with me.
She knew exactly what she was doing. She wanted publicity, and thats exactly what she was getting. With every picture she posted on Instagram of her and Jared (Her “new” boyfriend), she would make some vague comment about not letting those who have let her down in the pat get to her. Every subtweet she posted, she knew I would see eventually.
Her fans were just like her; saying awful things, with the intention of hurting me, all just to please her, and stick up for her. It was pathetic, and petty, but there was nothing I could, or wanted to do about it.
Despite all of this, Grayson and I are happy together. We can go on dates (to private places, in order to avoid any haters, but hey a date is a date.) We can take selfies now, and even though we rarely post them, at least we can see them. And the immense support from Ethan and Wren, is more than I could’ve ever asked for. Not to mention the support from the twins fans, as they will support the boys to the grave.
And my fans as well, although I have lost some, continue to support me. Both the boys fans, and mine, notice the fishiness that is Kayla’s behavior, and will not hesitate to call her out on it. That’s why I love them. They all mean so much to me. But not just because they don’t believe Kayla, but because of how much they love Grayson.
The amount of anxiety this boy has been through because of us isn’t fair. And Kayla making it public was basically a huge “fuck you.” With a stab in the back to top it off. This boy doesn’t deserve the kind of hate he’s getting because of me. I hate myself more and more everyday because of all the shit I’ve put him through, yet his love for me remains unwavering.
He really is my mini sunshine.
But with all of this in mind, I still couldn’t help but obsess over every little comment that was posted for the sole purpose of hurting me and Gray. It was like an addiction: I had to read each and every one, to see just how badly people thought of us as a couple.
Obviously the Kaylanators (as she liked to call them) hated our guts. They called us the ugliest couple they had ever seen. They despised our smiles, and told us that we didn’t deserve to be happy. They told us that our love would fade, once we realized how bad we were for each other.
They told us we wouldn’t make it.
I wanted to break down and cry, because deep down I knew they could be right. What if one day, Grayson becomes so tired of all the hate and negativity that he leaves me? What if he decided to quit YouTube altogether? What will his fans think? And Ethan?
I may have just ruined The Dolan Twins.
Tears leaked from my eyes, and I couldn’t hold back the sobs in my throat. What the hell will I do if all of this is true? How will i come back from this? I most likely won’t. I’ll probably become so discouraged that I’ll move back home, and never show my face on social media again.
Oh God. My parents’ll never let me back into their home. They expressed their disappointment in my actions, and I didn’t have the heart to fight for myself. It’s been a rough patch, trying to convince my parents that I’m okay, when I’m really falling to pieces.
The only people I can really rely on, is Gray, E, and Wren. They’ve been my backbone throughout these past three months, and without them, I wouldn’t have made it this long.
Wren especially had been a huge help. She’s become like a sister to me, someone that I’ve grown to love, and cherish. You might even say, that’s she’s an even better friend towards me than Kayla ever was. She’s the type of person to naturally help those around her, and I cannot begin to imagine how it going to repay her later on once this all blows over.
Lots and lots of sleepovers.
And Ethan is the big brother I never had. He’s been so supportive, and protective, a reaction that I expected for him to show solely to Grayson. But when he defended me, I knew that he was the best brother in the world. He loved Grayson, and would do anything for him.
Let’s not forget about Grayson: Because he knows exactly what I’m going through, he knows that when I’m in a mood, all I need is a night in, with no phones, no social media, wrapped in his arms watching a Disney movie.
He can read me like a book. I can try to hide what I’m feeling from him, but it’s fruitless. He’ll figure it out, and do all that he can to fix it. That’s just Grayson. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“El?” His voice called out from the front of my apartment, as he slammed the door shut behind him.
“In here.” I wiped away my tears quickly, and rose from my desk. He walked through my bedroom doors, and the sight of him nearly knocked the wind out of me.
“H-how was your run with E?” I eyed him from across the room, watching as he collapsed into a lounge chair across from my bed.
“Long.” He answered curtly as he laid an arm over his eyes. A few seconds later, he pretended to snore, which made me chuckle.
“You’re such a dork.” I swatted his shoulder as I passed him on my way to the living room.
“Owww.” I heard him complain. I rolled my eyes as he pretended to be hurt, and began to follow me into the living room. His bare feet made little padding noises behind me across the hard wood flooring.
He took long strides towards me, and started tickling my sides as revenge. I fell to the couch in a fit of laughter, as he continued to attack me with tickles, laughing loudly above me.
“Stop! I can’t breathe, stop!” I could barley get words out between my obnoxious laughter. He finally relented, and I held onto my sides as they ached in pain.
“I hate you!” I said jokingly, as I swatted his shoulder again.
“Mmmm, no ya don’t.” He said cockily, with a smirk.
“Oh yeah?” I raised an eyebrow.
“You love me.” He gloated, with a lazy smile and half-lidded eyes.
“Do I?” I asked, as I pretended to make a thoughtful face.
He leaned down, and caught my lips in a chaste kiss. “You do.”
We gazed into each others eyes, and in that moment I felt the exact thing I felt every other time we had moments like these. People could say whatever they wanted about us; that we were whores, that we didn’t deserve each other, Lord knows I don’t deserve this man sitting here praising me with his eyes, yet here he is. But the one thing they cannot question about us is our love.
That’s where I draw the line.
“Wren! It’s been so long since I’ve last seen you, how are you darling?” I asked in a faux snooty-flooty accent.
Wren played along, and stuck her nose up into the air, with her hands held elegantly at her sides. “I am just grand, and you’re right, it has been far too long since our last exchange.”
“Didn’t we just Oder pizza last night together?” Ethan chimed in, as he and Grayson watched our greeting with laughs spilling past their lips.
“Shut up, E.” Wren rolled her eyes, and turned back to me, cheeks a flushed red and lips turning up at the corners. She may hide it, but she sure loved the witty exchanges she and Ethan had daily.
“No, but seriously, how are you? You look like deaths ugly sister.” Wren blanched, and held her chest in mock pain.
“Well, at least I don’t look like a deflated pool with bird shit all over it, in a puddle of mud that looks slightly questionable considering there’s dog shit all over the yard.” She countered, with a winning smile. She and Ethan fist bumped, and watched as I stared in shock, with my mouth wide open.
“Close your Mouth, you’ll catch flies.” Wren brushed past me, with a charming smile, making her way to the living room of my apartment, Ethan trailing behind her with heart eyes.
“Hey,” Grayson said loudly, catching the attention of everybody in the room. He stood behind me, and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Leaf my girlfriend alone.”
We were all silent as Grayson started wheezing with laughter, holding a lead in his hand. I shook my head in embarrassment, and but was secretly trying to hide a smile.
“Seriously, Gray, stop with the fall jokes. Summers not even over yet.” Ethan complained, rolling his eyes at his younger brother.
Grayson sighed. “I’m sorry. That joke was a little Corny, wasn’t it.” When none of us seemed to get the joke, he pointed towards the jar of candy corn that I had put out as soon as I had bought it.
“Ew, you eat candy corn?” Ethan scrunched his nose in disgust. “That shits nasty.”
“Um, excuse me, are we all forgetting that this is my apartment? What is this, rag on El day?” I plopped down into my couch with a pout, and my arms crossed over my chest.
“We’re sorry, babe. We promise to stop.” Gray sat beside me, and pecked my cheek.
I shrugged and turned to Wren, who was scrolling through her phone with an expressionless mask on her face. Her eyes though, were blazing with anger, and one look at her screen said it all. Just like me, Wren was addicted to reading hate comments. Although theirs weren’t nearly as bad, she and Ethan were getting hate comments as well. The fans can be very…jealous when it comes to the twins, and now that they’re both in relationships, they feel the need to make it known that they don’t like Wren with E.
Of coarse more fans ship them than the ones who don’t, and that thought comforts me. Wren never asked to be judged Day in and day out, by twelve year olds behind a computer screen. She just wanted to be in a relationship with the guy she loved. She doesn’t deserve any of the hate comments she receives, and when she reads them, I sympathize with her on every level.
“Hey,” I grabbed her hand, and smiled at her. By the look in my eyes, she knew exactly what I was going to say. She shrugged as if to say that she agreed with me, that she and Ethan were a beautiful couple, and no one was going to tell her otherwise.
Nobody could tell us how we felt. Nobody could tell us that we didn’t have anyone, because that just wasn’t true.
We had each other. And that’s all I could ever want.
A.N.- 😭😭😭😭 THE END. I’m sorry if there are any typos, or mistakes. Please leave me some feedback, I love you, thank you for reading!!
I’m a black man with black aunts and black sisters and a black mother and black females cousins of all different shades and sizes and personalities. So with that being said you will never hear me say anything bad about black women which seems to be a damn trend these days. I love my black women black is and always has been beautiful don’t let any body tell you or make you feel any different.