so I can just come stare at it

a lawn chair in gaithersburg

you look out the window and your father’s station wagon from your childhood is sinking into the yard. your father never owned a station wagon. we’re taking on water. in chemistry dissociation means splitting something into smaller things. in psychiatry it means the same thing. i can break it down. i can break down. a wound so deep it’s unconscious. you have to dissociate for it to hurt. you know the part in the natural catastrophe movies where all the birds fly away right before it happens. the scene where all the scientists just stand there staring at computer screens filled with static because they warned everyone. in the movies someone saw it coming. you were doing chest compressions and i coughed up muddy water. i’m sorry i skipped to the end again. sorry to ruin the suspense. sorry i ruined scene in the garage & the pianos you’d planned on. you deserved pianos. a brick on the sustain. there are only violins in the credits. at least you get credit. at least you get something. i get motion sick from the ellipses. my heart. the worse for wear. i keep doing things people do when they get sick. i call the part since you’ve been gone the afterlife. a silent car ride that lasts forever. you never stop to get gas. you only remember stopping to get gas. i know why people get high and drive. it’s called secondary growth. a second wind. i have stared death in the face. which is to say that i have looked in mirrors. i have stolen reflections out of glossy windows and elevator chrome. you were a field scythe propped against the coat rack by the door and i was a kevin kostner film. a shattered mandala. sifting through the mistakes for the firmament. push has always been shove. okay. turn the music up and snap off the knob. have you ever seen a tree contort toward the light. have you seen me.

At St. Mungo’s

James: *Paces around outside the hospital*

Lily: James…

James: I want to be alone.

Lily: James, you need to come inside.  

James: I don’t like sitting in there staring at them.  They can’t even talk or open their eyes.  I can’t stand it.  I just needed to come out here to try and calm myself down.

Lily: *Takes James’s hand* James, honey.  Please come inside.

James: No… I don’t want to.

Lily: *Purses lips* James, they… your parents… they slipped away.  In their sleep.  Your dad, and then your mum a few minutes later.

James: You… they can’t… what… no… this can’t be happening…

Lily: I’m so sorry. *Squeezes hand*

James: *Runs into the hospital*

Lily: *Runs after him*

James: *Sees his parents’ dead bodies*

James: No.  No.  NO! 

Lily: James-

James: NO!  This isn’t happening!  THIS ISN’T!

Lily: *Wraps arms around James*

James: *Breaking down into tears* It’s my fault!  It’s all my fault!  If I had just visited them a few days ago like I was m-meant to…. b-but I didn’t want to leave Peter alone…

James: It’s Peter’s fault, Lily!  If he just st-stopped being so damned angry then I c-could have left to see my parents and now they’re DEAD.

James: They’re DEAD.  Oh my god.  I feel like I can’t breathe.

Lily: *Holds James tighter* You’re going to get through this, and I will help you.  You can’t blame Peter and you can’t blame yourself.  It was an illness.  It was nobody’s fault.

James: I sh-should have told them I love them… I should have… now I c-can never tell them again.

Lily: I’m so sorry, James.

James: 

Sugawara – Prompt #91 - “Can I hold your hand?"

 The final whistle blow announces the end of the match and a devastating loss for Karasuno. You were so sure they’d pull it off in the end. Quickly you make your way from the stands to the common area, looking for silver hair. When he comes out of the arena your heart breaks; he’s barely holding it together.

You reach his side, trying to give an encouraging look but it’s impossible; everyone feels this loss.

After a brief meeting with the coach he’s free to go but just sits on a bench, staring at the sky.

“I don’t know what to say,” you murmur feeling helpless.

Looking at you with sad but kind eyes he asks, “Can I hold your hand?

Wordlessly you thread your fingers together, giving his hand a squeeze before you both watch the clouds float by. Sometimes words aren’t needed to comfort.

DAILYBBS SHIT #25 Pet Swap! Ft. Delirious and Vanoss!

Welcome back to pet swap! In the last ‘episode’ Delirious and Vanoss had just swapped pets and will now begin their loooonnng week. Let’s see how they’re doing.

Vanoss: *looking at the list.* He even gave specific times…?

Delirious: *staring at vanoss’s cat* ….so..you like movies..?

*Delirious’s dog runs around the house and vanoss chases after*

Vanoss: N-no hey hey! Come back!

*Delirious is eating popcorn while he sits on the couch and vanoss’s cat lays on the arm rest*

(Let you be known that they must clog their day afterwards xD)

Vanoss’s Vlog: Day one!…terrible..I don’t know how to handle very wild dogs. Why can’t they just be calm like cats.

Delirious’s Vlog:……this cat really likes to sleep. A lot!

(To be continued..!)

7

not everyone
not y o u

I feel like Taehyung would be the type to randomly come up behind you while you’re on your phone or something and gently raise your shirt up and wrap his arms around your stomach so he can feel your skin and he would probably tuck his chin into your neck and just stare at you from the side while you focused on your phone or the tv or whatever and im about to cry

  • what she says: I'm okay
  • what she means: Can I say my shit? Can I say my shit? I've got lots of shit to say. I've got lots of shit to say. I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can, I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth but then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can so they all go spilling onto my face. What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. I'll say it again. The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small. If you feel me, put your hands up, Come on! If you feel me, put your hands up! Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of a Pringle can! Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can, your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can. Pringles! Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get are about the width of your cans?! Just... make them wider?! I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry. I want to have a daughter. I want to have a daughter so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can. Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright? But that is priority número uno. I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body but I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym. Irony can be so painful. That's a Catch-22. Let's do this! I went to Chipotle, I went to Chipotle, got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line the guy tried to wrap the burrito but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out. He still wrapped it. I was like, dude you should have warned me! You're a burrito expert, you should have told me halfway through: "Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here" Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito! The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got half of it! Like, I'm okay with small mistakes, if you've got no more chicken I'll take pork. But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like half of it, like, half of it, like, half of it, like half of it right now,I think it's time I think it's time, I think that we break this down. I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are pringle cans, and burritos. The truth is, my biggest problem's you. I want to please you but I want to stay true to myself. I want to give you the night out that you deserve but I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it. Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of me needs you, part of me fears you. And I don't think that I can handle this right now, handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. Look at them, they're just staring at me like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself." I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. They don't even know the half of this right now, they don't even know the half of it. But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show so I should probably just shut up and do my job so here I go. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got half. You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme and if they still don't understand you then you run it one more time. I don't think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) I don't think that I can handle this right now (Hoo!) If you think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) Right now (Haa!) Now, handle this right, handle this right, handle this right now.Thank you, good night! I hope you're happy.

Resurrection 

Teddy: *lies awake in bed, unable to sleep*

Teddy: *sighs, glancing around the faintly lit room* *slips out of bed*

Teddy: *makes his way outside, the full moon looming overhead*

Teddy: *glances over at the forbidden forest* *breath catches*

Teddy: Don’t even think about it… You definitely shouldn’t do it. *takes a deep, calming breath* …. Fuck it. 

*As the boy moves through the trees, he suddenly stumbles on something*

Teddy: *cringes and looks down* *spots an odd looking stone on the ground* 

Teddy: *holds up the stone, examining it* 

Voice: …… Yeah……

Tonks: *stares, trying to take in the sight of him* *shrugs weakly* 

Tonks: *glances slowly past Teddy and smiles* 

Voice: *sighs* Not… that… old…

Keep reading

My friend was in the supermarket

And she was walking past a mom and her teenage son. The mom was yelling at her son and saying things like, “you’re so rude and disgusting! How can you hate gay people?” And her son was frantically interrupting her and trying to explain that that wasn’t what he had meant at all. But, his mom wouldn’t be quiet and he interrupted her and yelled “Mom, I don’t hate gay people, my boyfriend is gay!” And his mom just stood there silently staring at the kid for like ten seconds. What a way to come out

Hogwarts Headcannons
  • Give me Dean, muggleborn that he is, imitating Steve Irwin in Care of Magical Creatures class, much to everyone's confusion except for Harry and Hermione who are. On the ground. Unable to breathe. And refusing to explain why.
  • Give me Harry, demisexual that he is, realizing that the reason he can't stop obsessing over Draco is because Draco is the one who saw - and subsequently disliked - 'Harry', and not The Boy Who Lived. Realizing that Draco was the only one to first talk to him for HIM, in that robe shop, and not his parents or fame (because even Ron and Hermione did that at first). And thus, leading to him randomly starting crying in the middle of lunch and claiming he's doomed, much to everyone's fear.
  • Give me Seamus, pyro that he is, super happy one Christmas when Hermione buys him a book on fire caution, flammable materials, and elements such as magnesium. Thus afterward, the mysterious fires that have always happened are far more safe and controlled.
  • Give me Luna, wonderful airhead that she is, being stared at as, calm as anything, she waltzes right into the Slytherin common room and starts talking to the mermaids like its absolutely normal. A first year drops a book he's staring so hard, because HOW DID SHE KNOW THE PASSWORD. Draco just sighs, gets up, goes over to her, and offers her tea.
  • Give me Draco. Who looks on as Neville offers Harry rhubarb pie that he made himself, as Harry stares forlornly at his Treacle Tart, and makes and annoyed sound. "Dammit Longbottom he hates bittersweets." The Slytherins stare and Pansy just mutters "How do you even know these things. Merlin, help him realize."
  • Give me Parvati, who is being constantly mistaken for her sister by Ron, who panics and screams "IM A LESBIAN" when it gets to be too much.
  • Give me Ron, who stares wide-eyes from a distance whenever he sees Padma from that moment on for a full week, until Padma flips out too and hexes him. Parvati awkwardly wonders why Ron starts getting scared whenever she tries to approach from then on, since she knows Ron doesn't have problems due to that sort of thing from how he handles Harry.
  • Give me the thirty or so of the school's Muggle-raised, who made the mistake of showing their folks howlers, and react accordingly whenever one of the families sends one that is just a recording of Rick Astley, or High School Musical, or spoilers for Doctor Who. And the Wizard-raised just... staring... in fear... watching their savior and multiple other students as they run around screaming and crying in an absolute panic for some reason even though it was a different student that got the weird howler.
  • Give me Harry, whose hair surprises people by being dark red like his mother's when in direct sunlight. And usually at the Weasley den they're inside, but one day Harry joins them outside for a picnic, and Molly is so confused about where Harry went to then has do do a mental tally of her children.
  • Give me George, who in the midst of the final battle, hit Lucius with an Anaticula curse, so that every spell he tries makes a duck instead. And the Death Eaters are just so confused. "Lucius... is that a duck?"
  • Give me the Gryffindor common room. The new first years suggest Monopoly for game night. The entire room goes dead silent. One first year tries to ask what they did wrong. "Never mention that game again," is the only response they get. "But why-" "NEVER TALK ABOUT SIXTH YEAR. WE NEVER TALK ABOUT SIXTH YEAR." Their brave upperclassman Neville yells, trembling. Hermione starts crying. Harry goes into a panic attack. Ron whispers, "There are many reasons we don't talk about sixth year. If The Incident had been the only thing that happened, we would only not talk about The Incident. Many things happened that year. Thus, we do not speak of that year, or of that game."
  • Give me McGonagall, who struggles to control the cat population, because while students are told to have their cats fixed you know not all 100 students that brought cats did so. Her curling up around a litter that lost their mother to illness. Training them to stalk the corridors. Albus had his ways of getting information, and hers is the spy network of cats.
  • Give me muggleborns singing everything from Phantom of the Opera to Katy Perry in the corridors. Singing We Will Rock You to a pureblood who disses them for it. The purebloods thinking the weird songs and their tunes are some kind of Rite of Passage and fleeing whenever a muggleborn student starts singing. Altering song lyrics. "I throw my ferret in the air some-times, singin EEEEEEEYO, this is DRAAAAAACO!"
  • Give me muggleborns that are really confused about the whole quill instead of pens things, throwing transfigured pokeballs in Care of Magical Creatures, the band students bringing kazoos and harmonicas and the wizrd-raised students that are just so confused as to how those things even work, because it must be some sort of air magic, right??
  • Give me muggleborns making entire conversations out of pop culture references specifically to confuse some Slytherin who just called one girl a Mudblood. "These are not the droids you were looking for." "I'm right on top of that now Rose, I promise." -jazz hands-
  • Give me muggleborns with Patronus that are things like Pikachu, velociraptors, the quiet Canadian transfer student with a moose patronus the size of a SMALL HOUSE, the one whose is a angeled-out Castiel, the one whose patronus is the democrat donkey and another the republican elephant and the two, previously best friends, become mortal enemies rivaling the fame of Harry and Draco.
  • Give me muggleborns hugging each other before break, promising to 'call' each other, trading weird codes, how they can't wait to go for 'sushi' or planning that trip together to 'disneyland' where they can go flying?? But no one's allowed magic?? Or flying?? And the wizard-raised think that somehow, shockingly,<i> these children totally new to our world have developed a way to cheat the system?? Muggleborns are badasses!!</i>
  • Give me muggleborns who are fully aware that the anti-tech wards were made when, like, radios barely even existed, much less cellphone towers and microprocessors, so while they can't turn them on inside the stone school walls there's this group that Harry joins constantly that just sit there in silence staring at these tiny things and sometimes randomly laughing hysterically, and every now and then standing and just running all the way across to the other side of the lake all at the same time with no signal whatsoever. The purebloods are <i>terrified</i> of this frequent happening.
  • Give me Harry, Hermione, Dean, and Justin from the D.A, muggleborns they are, doing a movie night every week to help the D.A. relax and bond. They re-start this after the battles, during eighth year, with several other people such as the returned Slytherins joining in. The entire year they play things like Tangled, The Breakfast Club, Brave, Lion King. But then the last four weeks, they announce they don't want to mislead everyone that everything is all fun and rainbows. The last four movies are My Sister's Keeper, The Shining, Marley and Me, and for the last week, a marathon of the entire Jurassic Park series.
  • Give me Hufflepuffs, who secretly are very relieved to be the 'normal' House. Jocks over there, know-it-alls over there, goth wannabees over there, now lets go camp out by the kitchens we're gonna need it to survive the next seven years like this.
  • Give me Ravenclaws who are so done with the riddles when they stumble back at midnight after having fallen asleep in the Library. "What's the truth?" "THE TRUTH IS THAT I WILL SET YOU ON FIRE IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN."
  • Give me the Trio, who use the Marauder's Map to find the most absolutely ridiculous routes to class, knowing every single one of the shortcuts. It's not odd for them to simply appear out of the ceiling. One day the new first years try to follow them, to learn the school better, but it doesn't go so well because then they try to go through a disappearing wall the Trio just did they instead run headfirst into it, and the next time they do behind a tapestry, down a waterside, around some sort of tower, causally past an entire doorless room full of bats, and somehow come out on the complete other side of the castle.
  • Give me Draco whose just completely had it with Harry's staring and confronts him, like they always do, and Harry just blurts out that he likes Draco's new haircut and can he touch his hair, and Draco so shocked he lets him. "Potter stop treating me like a cat I'm evil remember? Bloody hell have you gone daft?!" "But... it's soft..." "I hate you." But he just can't find any anger over this, so there's like no venom whatsoever in it and Harry can't stop giggling.
  • Give me Ginny, who can't stop giggling as Luna confuses the fuck out of an entire crowd with her way of speaking, and who during seventh year could 100% get away with insulting the Death Eaters because of the way she said things. Who after Luna used said tactic to get her out of a Crucio punishment just clung to Luna, shaking, and realizing that she loves Luna so much for this very reason. That there will never be another person like Luna in her life, ever.
  • Give me Harry, who was not really well educated while living at the Dursleys, who couldn't read very well but was wonderful at sneaking around, little tricks like hiding things, and loved music. He taught himself magic tricks, and MERLIN ALMIGHTY THIS 11 YEAR OLD KID HAS MASTERED VANISHING SPELLS, WHAT, HOW, and Percy, uptight prefect he is, just looses it.
  • Give me Ron walking in on Harry talking to some random snake in their dorm room, laughing like the snake said a particularly good joke, tipping his head and smiling as he responds, the python slowly curling up his arm to rest over his shoulder. Ron freezes, stares, and then slowly backs away, closes the door and stands there staring at it for a full half hour in absolute horror.
  • Give me the rest of the D.A. walking into the Room of Requirement and hearing screaming, Dean shrieking that he's going to murder someone, Hermione crying, Justin cursing like a sailor yelling for everyone to stop, and the rest panic and run around the corner and there the four Muggle-raised students are. With some sort of odd device in their hands. Playing Mario Kart.
the hufflepuff

Teddy’s sorting as seen by the Marauders


Tonks: He will be a Hufflepuff.

Sirius: Gryffindor.

Tonks: Hufflepuff

Sirius: No!

Tonks: Yes.

Remus: SHUT IT.

Tonks: It’s not my fault if your boyfriend doesn’t understand Teddy will be a Hufflepuff.

Sirius: No he will be–

Remus: *firmly* Padfoot.

Sirius: *obeys like a puppy*

Tonks: See? I–

Remus: You, too. They are at I. Teddy, will be on the stool soon.

James: *grinning* This place will be hell for all of you when Harry’s children get sorted.

Lily: He means it. You should have seen him at Harry’s sorting.

Teddy sits on the stool.

Sirius: *to himself* Come on, say he’s a Gryffindor.

Tonks: *whispering* Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff. Mum raised you right, now come on.

Remus: They are both nuts.

James: Well, you have a type Moony.

Hufflepuff!

Tonks: Teddy YES!

Sirius: Teddy NO!

Lily: *smiling* Did he just–

Remus: *laughing* His hair is purple.

James: *grinning* Look at Minnie, I think she is about to cry.

Sirius: I feel betrayed. James why are you so happy?

James: I mean, uh, I kinda knew he would be a Hufflepuff.

Sirius: *stares*

Lily: It was kind of obvious, Sirius.

Tonks: *stifles her laughter*

Remus: You know the drill Pads, he was raised by Andy after all. She raised Tonks, too. It’s just how it works.

Sirius: Still, a man can hope.

Tonks: I’m sure Weasley and Potter kids will make up for this. 

James: Oh, they will. Don’t worry. The Potter clan will all be in Gryffindor, we got this.

Lily: James!

James: Don’t fight me on this woman. 

Remus: *laughing* I still do think he has a bit of Gryffindor in him. 

Sirius: *excitedly* That’s the spirit.

Remus: But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m proud to have a Hufflepuff son.

Lily: As you should.

James: Now what? We wait another 6 years for James to get sorted?

Tonks: I’m pretty sure Teddy will give us a good amount of mischief until he arrives.

Remus: Of course he will, he’s directly related to a Marauder after all.

Sirius: The most dangerous one to be exact.

Tonks: How?

James: Who do you think was the mastermind of all those pranks Dora?

Tonks: *gesturing to James and Sirius* You two!

Lily: Oh honey, it was Remus. I learned when it was too late, too.

Remus: *grinning* I mostly got away with it, too.

Tonks: We are in for some serious fun then.

Everyone stares at Tonks.

Tonks: *panicking* I mean we are in for some good fun.

Sirius: Yes, we are.

one more time (m)

genre: fuckboy au + smut

words: 5.5k

member: jimin 

you can’t resist jimin, even if he is a fuckboy.

Originally posted by 9taefox


You woke up to the sound of your ringtone blaring into your ear. You huffed, screwing your eyes shut and hoping it would stop; it didn’t. Reaching out, you grabbed your phone and squinted at the bright screen, your eyes needing time to adjust.

Jimin.

You sighed through your nostrils, closing your eyes and ignoring the impending headache that you could already feel starting in your temples. You debated not answering, and the call ended. You nearly let a smile form on your lips, but your phone began to vibrate in your hand again, Jimin’s name popping up once again as the sound of your ringtone kept you from sleeping.

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home after rain

blue orchids short story

pairing: jungkook | reader
genre: too much fluff.. too much cute
word count: 3.986
author’s note: surprise! \o/ I honestly have no idea how or why this happened. yesterday I just… started writing, and here we are, a few thousand words later. also, bear in mind that this is a sequel to blue orchids, so you need to read that one first if you want to understand this short piece. hope you all enjoy!

This story is set six years into the future within Blue Orchids’ universe.


The sun rays are melting on your skin. It has been a while since the skies opened up like this, leaving the sun bare to the living, its warmth a pleasant gift after days of storm and gloom. The sand under your legs and feet is, fortunately, not scorching — not yet, at least. The early morning is still warming up to the pristine sun, and the salty winds of the beach are still a strange mixture of the growing heatwave and the remnants of past iciness.

You cannot remember the last time you visited the beach, but it does not feel foreign or uncomfortable. It feels like you belong, mind at peace and body molding to the sand as your extended legs allow your toes to brush against the gentle waves that break and ebb away, water still too chilly to enjoy at its fullest.

Keep reading

Whiskey

A Bucky Barnes One-Shot

Character Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Word Count: 5,717 (yup…)

Warnings: NSFW 18+ Smut! Sexual penetration, oral (male and female receiving), face sitting, dirty talk, language, drinking, Bucky being everyone’s wet dream…

A/N: I’m so sorry this took so long, but I worked HARD on this one and I’m totally proud of it! (and before anyone asks, Howl at the Moon is a real bar in Indiana!) Enjoy. :) 



You stood in the street and looked up at the new sign that was being hung up in front of the building.

Howl at the Moon

Your pride and joy. You smiled with a shake of your head. This bar had just started out a little hole in wall. Nobody knew about it, and you were barely making ends meet with only 2 people on staff.

Now, it was a world-renowned biker bar. People from all over the globe have stopped in. You have worked hard to make it what it is. The many roaring engines from motorcycles and loud laughter rule this spot.

It kept your life interesting.

The alcohol stays flowing all night long and the grill stays hot. Your most popular item on the menu? Beer served in buckets. You would be surprised at how many buckets these burly bikers can put away.

Sing-a-longs, dance-offs and dirty humor keep your patrons coming back for more. Your lady bartenders have been known to jump on the bar to dance to some old rock n’ roll. Yourself included.

Ashley, your best friend, came up beside you and looked at the sign as well. “It looks fantastic.”

You poked her with your elbow, “Well I would hope you think so, you drew up the concept.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and tipped her head, “I’m a genius.”

You looked up at the black wolf, nose pointed up at a blue moon with a howl. It was really going to stand out at night when it was all lit up.

Keep reading

(This started as a response to this post of @rcmclachlan‘s but immediately took on a life of its own and got so long that I think it would be rude/derailing as a response, so here it is as its own post, sorry about whatever this is.)

I’ve just decided that Yuuri Katsuki is the Hugh Dancy of photoshoots, in that every photographer meets him, goes slightly cross-eyed, panics, and starts throwing questionable props at him and putting him in ridiculous situations.

Yuuri Katsuki as Hugh Dancy drinking a mojito on a ladder in a pool for no reason.

Yuuri Katsuki as Hugh Dancy Not Knowing How Chairs Work

Yuuri Katsuki as Hugh Dancy In Eyeliner And A Collar


Yuuri thinks this is just how photoshoots work, don’t they?  It’s how his have always worked, anyway, he sort of assumes his photos always seem so weird because it’s just some flaw in him, that he’s so unattractive photographers have to distract from his terrible face and katsudon body with weird settings and poses and props. 

At some point Phichit tries to sit him down for a conversation about how he has to stop doing That Look at his photographers because it incapacitates them and that’s what leads to things like that photoshoot where he’s balancing a pumpkin on his head while a chicken stares at him.  And Yuuri is just all; what look, I am trying not to make eye contact at all, it’s the only way I can survive having so many people looking at me, why are there so many makeup people.  And Phichit has to explain that it comes off as gazing coyly up through your eyelashes, Yuuri, you were practically batting them at the poor man and Yuuri just wails I COULDN’T SEE HIM, YOU TOOK MY GLASSES AWAY, I WAS SQUINTING.  

Phichit just: that poor man, he thinks you’re practically engaged, please wear your contacts and stop accidentally making people fall in love with you, I am running out of space on my wall for photos of you not knowing how different kinds of furniture work.


What I’m saying is that when Yuuri eventually stammers out to Phichit that he’s thinking of having some, you know, *lowered voices*, boudoir photos taken for Viktor’s birthday, Phichit’s response is twofold.  

First: get him, Tiger.  Second: hire a lesbian who will not give two fucks about your Eros but actually understands photography. It’s the only way they will turn out actually-sexy and not you naked-but-strategically-draped-in-goldfish, standing en pointe in a Home Depot, for some reason, waving a box of crackers.

Phichit assumes his advice was followed when Viktor’s one and only social media post on his birthday is I AM DEAD. I AM DEAD AND MY PERFECT AND PRECIOUS HUSBAND HAS KILLED ME, RIP ME, MY SOUL HAS LEFT MY BODY, I AM ASCENDING TO A HIGHER PLANE NOW.

Then again, who knows.  That’s also the sort of thing Viktor posts on any random Tuesday if he caught a glimpse of Yuuri’s ankle during dinner or something.

Phichit sends Yuuri a thumbs-up emoji anyway, because he’s an idiot and needs all the encouragement he can get.

Halloween

Summary: Nat and Wanda trick you into going to a Halloween party at the Stark Tower.

Warnings: smut- oral (receiving), penetration; fluff

A/N: Wrote this to get out of my writer’s block. I hope you like it!


“Fuck!” Nat yanked the strings tighter and you gasped for air. “I know I wanted to wear a corset for Halloween but-”

“Authentication is the key.” She helped you straighten. “And look at how great your breasts look.” 

“They do look pretty great.” You admired yourself in the mirror, running your hands down your torso and enjoying the feeling of the leather under your fingertips. “So…are you finally going to tell me who’s going to be at this party?”

“Nope, it’s a secret.” Nat chuckled as she adjusted her hair and makeup. “Don’t worry, you’re going to have fun.”

“You’re in for some serious hell if you’re lying to me.” You pointed at her and slipped into your leggings. “Why do I have to be a sexy cat? Why can’t I be like Victorian royalty?” 

“Because last time you were drunk you let it slip that you’ve always wanted to dress up as one.” Wanda slipped into the room grinning. “I told Nat and she helped me get the costume, now let’s go.” 

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2

Imagine: Dirty talk with Sam.

Sam x Reader

Warning: Smut, Masturbation, Dirty Talk

Hand to the short curly haired man upstairs, this hadn’t been planned. It started with a bit of fun, a small prank. Although now, at this new point in time, you couldn’t remember what possessed you to think of this, you had changed your name in Sam’s phone. It was suppose to be a minor inconvenience. One you could laugh off later. Instead of “Y/n” your name read “Destiny”. The joke was a lot funnier at two in the morning as you were rushing to think of something while Sam was in the bathroom. You returned to you separate motel room next door before he was done.

That’s where the real fun started.

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Sweater Weather

Jughead x Reader

Wordcount: 2.2k

Request: Can you do an imagine where Jughead breaks up with the reader and she doesn’t go  to school for a couple of days and when she returns she’s a mess wearing joggers and something of Jugheads.

Warnings: none/fluff/possible swearing

Summary: Based on the Neighbourhood Sweater Weather, Jughead breaks the readers heart, she’s a mess and when he sees what he’s done he realises it was a mistake.

Originally posted by juptern

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Bts reacting to you in a mini skirt!

Request: Bts reacting to you in a short skirt

Namjoon:

“So what do you think?” *You come out of your room to show him the result of your outfit after half an hour*

“Well I think…” *gets up and starts fiddling with his belt* “…that Namjoon Jr. now has to be strapped down.”

Originally posted by forever-young-got7

Jin:

*You walk into the living room*

“Nope, we’re not doing this today.”

“I guess you could say… Not Today”

*wants to laugh but walks away before you can see to make a point*

Originally posted by bambamisaboomyinmypants

Hoseok:

“Do you like it?”

*stares at you admiringly*

“Hobi?…”

“I love it jagi. God, you’re so beautiful”

Originally posted by yoongis--babygirl

Yoongi:

“Okay I’m ready to go!”

“Is that what you’re wearing?”

“Yep!”

“You know what, maybe we should just stay inside tonight… maybe light up some candles… put on a movie but definitely makeout instead.”

Originally posted by yoonseok

Taehyung:

“Alright come on taehy- what are you doing? You’re wrinkling your clothes.”

“I saw what you’re wearing and I’d rather stay home.”

“But the dinner plans?”

“But my tongue plans? >;)”

Originally posted by btstaehyunged

Jimin:

“Jiminie~ I bought a new skirt! What do you think?”

“I’ll be damned if I ever let you out with that!” *is shook asf*

Originally posted by kaiiyeye

Jungkook:

“Alright Kookie I’m heading out.”

*Quiet* 

“Kookie?…”

*Wants to stop you from going out but doesn’t know how to bring it up so he ends up looking like he’s lowkey trying to figure out how to do long division in his head even tho in actuality he’s just a confused speechless weirdo*

Originally posted by cuteguk