Why the Disney guys are great
ERIC: He loves his dog. He plays the flute really well and that’s hard to do. Really gentle and sweet. When he found Ariel on the beach he took her home and took care of her. Great smile. Is a chill guy but will also not hesitate to stab and kill an evil sea witch with his boat.
PHILIP: Hears a pretty sound and follows it. Great singing voice. Never realizes that the girl he fell in love with is the princess he’s supposed to marry. Falls so in love that the first thing he does is go to his father and tell him. Has that goofy little hat with a feather. Fought a motherfucking dragon on a cliff.
NAVEEN: Immediately takes off his royal suit into a civilians outfit and disappears playing ukulele. Even though he’s turned into a frog he’s still oozing confidence. Can only mince food, doesn’t know how to do anything else. Made a ring out of scrap even though they’re frogs. Is willing to give everything up as long as Tiana gets her restaurant. Has that nice curl that falls onto his forehead. Unplaceable yet charming accent.
HERCULES: His strength too big for his goddamn body. Goes from zero to a hundred real quick. Even though he can deck a monster in a minute flat he has no idea how to talk to girls. Socially awkward. Good with kids. Can do a push-up on one finger. When told to use his head he took it literally. Punched his uncle, the god of the underworld, in the face.
FLYNN RIDER: Sarcasm galore. The Smolder. Drop dead gorgeous looks. Doesn’t mind that he’s on a wanted poster but does mind that they can’t get his nose right. Is the only one who sees it’s weird to randomly start singing. Can’t fight for shit, barley manages to make do with a frying pan. Has the most ridiculous birth name in Disney history. Got stabbed in the gut but cut Rapunzel’s hair to save her, not at all caring about himself. First words after not dying aren’t “I love you” but “I have a thing for brunettes” because of corse they are.
ADAM: Swooshes his cape around in the shadows like some kind of wannabe batman. Is extra as fuck. Still acts like a child sometimes. Has had no social interaction for years but is trying his best. Gets easily confused. Doesn’t know what to do when he realizes he has feelings for people. Is too shy to tell Belle he loves her. Feels bad the second after he scares Belle away. Would literally rather die then live without the girl he loves. Has the most extra transformation back into a human while everyone else doesn’t.
MAUI: Gets scared easily. Amazing hair. That little face he makes when he can’t use his hook right. Was building a statue of himself in his cave like a dork. Magic tattoos. Can’t fish to save his life. Gave humans fire and wind and coconuts. That smirk he does, you know the one. Great sense of humor. Did everything he could think of to make humans happy so they would like him. Was a total puppy when he got his hook back and fixed.
FERDINAND: So fucking sweet and gentle. Has a name that tells us he doesn’t even need Snow White for animals to follow him around. Sings to Snow White when she’s on her balcony like a modern day Romeo. Knows when Snow White went missing because he kept visiting and goes to look for her right away. Is literally heartbroken when he finds her, thinking she’s dead and is overjoyed when she wakes up. A good boy, a soft boy. Literally has done zero things wrong in his entire life.
ALADDIN: Tricked the genie right off the bat. Jumped right in to help Jasmine with the guards. Steals food but ends up giving it to orphan children living in the street. Is the most selfless person in Agrabah. Quick thinker and can outsmart anyone. Is one of the only Disney princes who actually know how to sword fight. Has matching hats with his pet monkey.
LI SHANG: Sexuality crisis. “You fight good”. Turns a bunch of losers into warriors. Rarely ever wears a shirt for some reason. Tries out his new title of captain alone in his tent all exited like a little kid. Doesn’t give up, not once, on anything. Would literally die for Mulan. Fine as hell.
CHARMING: Gets bored at his own ball. Is a hopeless romantic. Doesn’t care for people who gush over him because he’s the prince, and in fact took interest in Cinderella because she was the only one not doing that. Jumped out a window for Cinderella. Is a super supportive husband. Went door to door looking for Cinderella, determined to find her no matter what. Good dancer.
FELIX: Doesn’t know how to be mean. Considers totally harmless words bad language. Ridiculously short. That video game sound when he jumps. Thinks that by saying Ralph’s catchphrase it will give him Ralph’s power to wreck stuff as well. Can speak qbertese. Dripping with southern farm boy charm. Is a shit dancer but that’s what makes it fun to watch. After accidentally triggering Calhoun he respects her making him leave and never uses the phrase again. Pulls Vanellope back from danger on the rainbow bridge and then makes sure she stays behind him. “Do you think they’ll stop there?” “YES!”
(( If I missed any that you want to see, just let me know & I’ll make a part 2! ))