Jon for the 100th time you CAN'T be with Sansa, she's your sister remember? Here look at this foreign queen: blonde hair, good heart *wink wink*, rides dragons in her spare time. Not related to you in ANY way, bang her instead.
Jon (post boatbang™ and finding out R+L=J):
She's my aunt Davos! I was fucking my aunt the whole time!
So you're telling me we left WF to escape your incestuous feelings, came to an island far away and met the last Targaryen whom I made you bang so you forget about your sister, and now she's your aunt? And your sister, whom you are clearly obsessed with, is your cousin that you could have been banging all along? Are ya kidding me boy? This is the strangest thing I have ever seen happen, and I once saw a red witch give birth to a shadow demon baby that looked remarkably like Stannis.
Technically, I might have cheated a bit. Then again, we never clearly laid out any
rules. We never actually decided that
each player had to wait until the next day to lay their trap, it was just sort
of understood. So if I made preparations
the night before, I would say that it’s completely fair. After all, how can you break a rule if none
were ever written?
Baz gets up before me to use the shower, I hide my grin under my blankets.
dress as the water runs.
take the planned precautions and double-check that I’ve remembered to wear my
the water shuts off, I take my position, sitting on my bed with my back against
my pillow, waiting. The picture of calm,
even though I’m buzzing with anticipation.
count down in my head as I hear the curtain slide back.
Three, two, one…
THE FUCK DID YOU DO?”
should think it would be obvious.”
BETTER START RUNNING, SNOW!”
don’t move. I stay exactly where I am
and straighten out a crease in my shirt.
Crowley, I’m starting to act like him.
a steady stream of cursing from the other side of the door. Normal cursing, not magical cursing, though
he sounds angry enough to curse me right off the school grounds.
he cracks the door open, he doesn’t lean around to look at me.
come on,” I tell him, “get it over with.”
takes a step forward and emerges, wearing only a towel around his waist, half
of his body hidden behind the door. Part
of my brain registers the fact that I’ve never seen him with this little
clothing on, but I’m very much distracted by his hair. It’s slicked back with shower water, a few
strands hanging in front of his eyes, and it’s blond. Yellow-blond.
smirk takes control of my face. “Well,
that clearly worked, then.”
you have any idea how bloody dead you
you hurry up in there? I’d like to use
the bathroom. Oh, and it’s your move.”
slams the door in my face and I bury my laughter in my pillow.
takes an exaggeratedly long time to get ready, probably to spite me, or maybe
he’s busy trying to magic the bleach out of his hair. Trixie told me it was extra-long lasting, but
it is only Normal bleach with no magical properties. Maybe I did
charm it to be a bit stronger, but he could probably magic his hair back to
normal if he tried long enough. I just
wait on my bed, studying my nails casually like I assume he does when he’s
Baz finally reappears in the doorway, he’s fully clothed and his hair is still
blond, but it’s different now. It’s dry,
and instead of yellow his hair is a soft white.
He hasn’t slicked it back like he usually does, just lets it fall around
his face like snowflakes.
skin is so pale that white-blond hair shouldn’t look good on him.
light and soft and it makes his heavy gray eyes look gentle, even though he’s
currently using them to shoot daggers at me.
It’s striking against the green of his uniform, and it’s like he’s
turned from a vampire into a wood elf, tall and elegant and smooth.
hair looks so soft, freshly washed like this, that my hands actually
twitch. I want to take a lock and rub it
between my fingertips.
Crowley, it looks good.
a lurch in my stomach, unfamiliar and cold, and I don’t know what it
means. Not that it matters, I’m
definitely not thinking about my stomach right now.
thought I told you to run,” Baz growls through his teeth, his cheeks pink. Maybe from shower steam, maybe from
embarrassment. I wonder what my cheeks
look like right now, with how I feel them heating up.
not stupid, Baz,” I reply calmly, even though there’s a weird shiver working
its way down my back. “If I leave the
room, you’ll just throw me down the stairs or something. This is the safest place for me right now.”
I’ll throw you out the window and let the merwolves have you.”
opening the window, Baz, see how far you get.”
did you do to it?”
serious, just a simple precaution, but you won’t be getting it open.”
if I carried you out the door?”
have to fight me to get me there, and I don’t think the Anathema would like
that very much.”
seethes at me for another few seconds before storming out the door. I can hear his angry steps all the way down
stay where I am for I don’t know how long.
It’s like I can’t move, and my stomach is still feeling hollow. Not in a hungry way, more like someone took
one of my organs out and left a giant empty spot, and now the rest of my organs
are frantically shifting around to try and fill the space. I’m cold and hot at the same time.
I say aloud to the empty room.
and I are out on the hill when she sees what I’ve done.
“Mor-gana, Simon,” she breathes, her eyes
wide. “How are you even still alive?”
shake my head, watching Baz as he disappears into the castle. His hair is even more ethereal in the light
of day. I can only imagine what he would
look like if the sun were shining. He’d
have a fucking halo.
better question is, why has he left it like that?” Penny muses, squinting at
the doors even after Baz has passed through them. “Couldn’t he magic it back to normal?”
the dye is too strong.”
exactly did you pull this off, anyway?”
poured hair bleach in his shampoo last night.”
shakes her head with a disbelieving laugh.
“Crowley, Simon,” she says, “when is this game going to end?”
shrug. I hadn’t thought about it. “When there’s a winner?”
how do you determine a winner?”
just until one of us concedes.”
know you two,” she scoffs, “that’s not going to happen.”
about her saying you two makes my
heart beat a little louder in my ears for just a second.
let me get this straight,” she continues.
“First you changed his sugar into salt, so he turned your scones to
rock. Then came the necklace thing, and
the glue on the doorknob. I know he kept
turning your music up yesterday, but there’s something missing in between. Did you forfeit that day?”
did you do?”
memory is sour and I grimace. “I don’t
want to talk about it?”
“Why? Did it not work?”
what? He’s cursed you loads of times.”
gave him nightmares.”
doesn’t answer for a second. “You did what?”
were only supposed to be minor ones, but something went wrong, they were never
supposed to hurt him.”
bad were they?”
want to scrub the memory from my eyelids.
“I had to wake him up because he kept shouting.”
that’s… terrible, actually.”
told you, they weren’t supposed to be scary.”
you attacked the mind. Worse, you
attacked the subconscious.” She looks at
me like I’ve taken her food without asking.
“Does he know it was you?”
don’t think so.”
that why you didn’t get mad yesterday when he pranked you?”
would I get mad?” I shrug. “I deserved
never thought I’d see the day that you felt bad for hurting Baz.”
shake my head. “He might be a twat, but
you didn’t hear him. No one deserves
whatever he was dreaming.”
watches me thoughtfully. “Hmm,” she
just… maybe you guys don’t hate each other as much as you think you do.”
hair is still white-blond later at night when we turn in. I still have to consciously remind myself to
stop staring at it.
hasn’t said anything to me since this morning, but I don’t think it’s because
he’s mad. More just the normal silence
that exists between us when we’re not actively fighting or shouting abuse at
wonder as he turns out the lights if his hair has always looked so soft, or if
I’ve just noticed it now. When he turns
it black again, will I still have the urge to touch it? Is it something I’ve always wanted to do but
only just realized?
thought occurs to me as his breathing starts to deepen across the room. “Hey, Baz.”
ridiculous and not even close to true.
My hair is the blonde of honey, while his is currently the blonde of
fucking snow, but that makes it even more ironic and, naturally, even more
funny to me.
Baz doesn’t say anything, just sits
up and punts one of his pillows at me, and I can’t hold in a giggle when it