snorting powder

List of things I got sent to the principle’s office for (in vague order from kindergarten to high school):

  • stabbing a kid in the hand with a pencil 
  • bringing my mom’s pocket knife to show and tell
  • grabbing and twisting a kid’s neck skin until he cried
  • kicking my best friend in the face (he had to get stitches)
  • rolling down a hill that was out of bounds in the school yard (I got poison ivy from that)
  • teaching my entire class exactly where babies come from
  • hiding under my desk
  • telling the teacher it was my birthday and she thought I was lying (I was my birthday)
  • teaching the class Santa Clause isn’t real
  • chasing a girl around the class because I wanted to kiss her
  • passing “notes” rolled up in pencil grips
  • not gripping my pencil properly to write 
  • refusing to spell my whole last name (pihlajamaki is a long fucking name ok?)
  • telling my class my rabbits died
  • bringing a baby rabbit to class
  • full body tackling a kid who said i cheated on a test
  • kicking multiple kids in the shins 
  • punching a kid in the stomach after he dropped his lunch tray on my head
  • bringing a nursing book about anatomy to school to show my friends what a penis is
  • punching a kid in the face when he fake asked me out to a dance
  • forgetting to bring gym clothes
  • kicking a kickball into a fence and popping it
  • not doing my spelling homework
  • wearing a pentagram ring my father bought for me
  • drawing wiccan symbols on my jesus box
  • saying The Pope kicked the bucket during a viewing of the funeral
  • laughing during mass
  • refusing to do the signs of the cross
  • throwing up during mass
  • telling the class that I hate them so much I dont care if I go to hell because I’ll bring them with me
  • writing about someone’s ass in my daily journal
  • drawing particularly violent things in art class
  • refusing to do point perspective drawing for the 20th time in art class
  • drawing legs on literally everything for a month
  • drawing still lifes without a reference and boasting the teacher couldn’t tell (she couldn’t)
  • painting on the wall, someone didn’t get the mural memo I guess
  • writing ‘i love girls’ on the bathroom wall
  • convincing my friend to snort caffeine powder 
  • not bringing my copy of the hobbit to class and refusing to get a copy from the library 
  • breaking the front door of the school by kicking it open
  • ‘hacking’ into the computers to put games on them
  • telling everyone the password to the computer system was bigyakdaddy
  • going to school on ‘senor skip day’
  • dropping out of the school system entirely (they thought I did it on purpose somehow like how I changed the administrative preferences)
  • printing out 200 pages of gay erotic fanfic