snorting peas

8

The first thing Tony thinks when he enters the living room, tugging at his tie, is that a dozen lit candles is probably an overkill, even for a romantic dinner for two. Definitely a fire hazard. Then his gaze slides toward Steve, who is standing near the table, dressed in his old parade uniform, and his brain short-circuits instantly, and for one moment, he doesn’t think at all.

“Hello, Tony,” Steve greets him softly, his eyes glinting with warmth and amusement. 

Tony blinks, clears his throat. “I see you’ve been busy, Rogers,” Tony remarks lightly, inclining his head toward the table. 

“Well, I had to find something to occupy my time since my boyfriend left on a business trip that lasted a month,” Steve says with a shrug. “Even if he repeatedly swore that he will be gone only two weeks.”

“He doesn’t sound like a nice guy,” Tony says, the corner of his mouth quirking into a smile. “Maybe you should dump him.”

Steve inclines his head, his brow furrowing in contemplation. “He can be a bit of a jerk sometimes-”

“Okay, I resent that.”

“- but I love him anyway.” 

“Nice save, Rogers,” Tony says, utterly fails at containing a smile he knows makes him look like a besotted fool. A beat later, he frowns, squares Steve with an incredulous look. “Also, boyfriend? What are we, twelve?”

“You don’t like it?” Steve asks, his eyebrows rising questioningly. There’s an expression of perfect innocence on his face Tony doesn’t trust in the least. “Would you prefer sugarplum? Light of my life? Honey bunny? Sweet-pea?”

Tony snorts, rolls his eyes. “Oh, shut up and come and kiss me, Rogers.”

Steve grins. “As you wish, pumpkin.” 

funny story

so one time i was playing truth or dare with my friends and they dared me to stick as many frozen peas as possible up my nose. i didn’t want to do it, but a dare’s a dare. i went to the freezer and got the packet of frozen peas, went back to where my friends were sitting, opened the packet, and started to put the peas up my nose. it was going quite well (I was just about to stick the fourth one up my nose) until my mum walked in. none of us realized that she was watching for about 30 seconds. i looked up and saw her standing, arms crossed, staring at me in shock. i then quickly snorted out the peas onto the ground and realized that i was having a blood nose. the ground was covered in blood and peas as my friends ran to get some tissues. my mum just sighed and then walked away

anonymous asked:

I saw a post with a list of swedish sayings translated into literal English, could you do us some Finnish ones?

Sure! For the fun of it I translated them way too literally and left out the actual meanings:

  • to be like a bear that’s been shot in the ass
  • to have Matthew in a wallet
  • to pay off fish debts
  • to pay the violins
  • to go to the magpies, to go to thread, to go into a mug
  • to snort a pea up one’s nose
  • to give someone mittens
  • to talk trees and hay
  • to saw one’s eye/file one’s lens
  • to feed (someone) rope made of willow
  • to talk oneself to a pouch
  • to hit/go towards a pine tree
  • to (not) see the forest from the trees
  • to fall like an uncle off a boat
  • to have a bunny go up your pants
  • to have a fox’s tail in your armpit
  • to do a favour of a bear
  • to understand a cough
  • to carry one’s straw to an anthill
  • to have sausages on your eyes
  • to not have all Moomins in the valley
  • to jump on the walls