snooty face

which camarilla clan should you fight
  • brujah: what the fuck is wrong with you? why would you want to fight the brujah? they kick people out of the clan if they don’t own enough switchblades and motorcycles. this will not end well. if you HAVE to fight the brujah, your best bet is to get them so mad that they start making bad decisions, but even then you’re probably fucked. don’t fight the brujah.
  • gangrel: these guys are all exactly as angry as the brujah but can also go full on animalistic fury at you. also they can melt into the earth and summon animals and shit. if you get lucky, you can distract them with some beggin’ strips or something, but don’t risk it. don’t fight the gangrel.
  • ventrue: if there are no consequences for this fight, then go for it. most ventrue got embraced straight out of the boardroom and have never thrown down a day in their unlives. however, if this ventrue has contacts, you had better believe you’re going to be hurting more than they will by the time they’re done with you. probably worth it, though. there’s a lot of people who want to see them punched in the face. fight the ventrue.
  • malkavian: honestly, you’ve got about a 50/50 chance with these guys. either they will melt your brain so hard that it’ll leak out of your ears or they will have no idea what the hell is going on. even if they aren’t entirely lucid, there’s still the possibility that they’ll socratic-method you into torpor. do it if you have to, but fighting the malks is not a good plan.
  • tremere: the bright side: if you fight the tremere, nobody is going to stop you. nobody fucking likes these guys. the drawback: if you fight the tremere, you are fighting the tremere. these guys can fly? they can summon fire??? they can give the laws of physics the middle finger if they want. however, if you find a tremere neonate, feel free to stuff that nerd in a locker.
  • nosferatu: this is an entire clan full of assholes with a chip on their shoulder. they can talk to rats. they can sneak around unseen despite being six feet tall and smelling like raw sewage. they probably know everything about you already. don’t let the sewer thing fool you: this clan could kick your ass and mine with their creepy hands tied behind their backs. don’t fight the nosferatu.
  • toreador: please. PLEASE. please fight the toreador. i don’t care what generation they are. i don’t care how many of them know celerity. punch them in their snooty faces. distract them with glitter. fuckin do it. i will pay you to fight the toreador. there are no downsides to fighting the toreador. if you win, you have beaten up a toreador. if you lose, everyone will probably still buy you a drink for trying. do it. fight the toreador.
Three Years - A Deniall Fic (0.3k)

This fic is dedicated to @lifegoeson-wecarryon, whose love for Deniall is my favorite <3 And who needs more Deniall fics to read. Bless!



“You really shouldn’t be mad at Basilton for this,” Niall says to me. We’re standing in a corner of the hallway outside of the Leaver’s Ball, and he’s trying his best to calm me down. If it had been anyone else, it probably would have just pissed me off more.

“I have every right to be mad at him,” I say. I’m was so furious that I almost marched myself straight across the ballroom just to punch Baz in his stupid, snooty face.

Niall puts his hand on my shoulder and gives me a sympathetic look. “I know you do, but that doesn’t mean that you should. We really have no idea about their circumstance.”

“Three years, Niall. Three fucking years we’ve had to keep this a secret. And for what? Baz just gets to snog his half-wit roommate in front of the whole bloody school? It’s not fucking fair. And on top of that, how could he not even tell us?”

He starts rubbing his thumb along my shoulder, and I glance around to see if anyone is in the hallway. But we’re hidden from view by a few statues, and I begin to relax against his touch.

“He didn’t know he could tell us. Just like we didn’t know we could tell him. But it’s okay now.” He slides his hand down my arm, curling his fingers into mine, and pulls me towards him. He presses his lips against the edge of my mouth and doesn’t move them away. “It’s okay now,” he whispers this time. “We won’t have to hide any of it much longer.”

I turn my head and kiss him. “You’re right,” I whisper back. “You’re right. How do you always know what to say?”

He smiles against my lips. “Because I love you.”

I smile back. “I know. I love you too.”

Dipcifica ~ Chocolates

Pacifica crushed the box of chocolates to her chest, heart fluttering in nervousness. How did the girls on TV make this seem so easy? She wanted to faint, to stall, to back out of this god-forsaken crap of an idea she was going through with. But she couldn’t. How could she, when Mabel was so insistent on her confessing her feelings on such aromantic holiday? And to that dork nonetheless. What if he rejected her right on the spot? Or started to ignore her? What would she do then? But then again, Dipper wasn’t like that. Right? She really hoped she was just being dramatic. She looked down at her outfit, making sure her white blouse and floral pink skirt were wrinkle free. Hopefully, her long blonde hair and light makeup were still in place.

She gave one last look over her should at Mabel, who was gesturing wildly and making weird bird calls for her to go, before letting out a nervous breath and making her way towards the boy twin. He was in conversation with one of his chess club geeks, scrunching his face up in that cute way he always did when he was thinking hard. The chess geek was the first to spot her - Tyler, she thinks his name is- who then proceeded to make up a random excuse, before practically running from the popular Pacificamaking her way towards Dipper. She silently thanked the nerd as she finally reached Dipper, who was still standing stunned in the same spot from the abrupt leave of his friend.

She made sure to hide the box of chocolates behind her back, before letting out a quick cough. Dipper’s head snapped to her, a look of confusion setting on his face,

“Pacifica? What are you doing here?”

He gave a quick once-over, noticing her stiff posture and shifting eyes. He also couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked in her perfect outfit, and how cute her usual snooty face was with a dark strawberry pink blush covering it. This, in turn, had Dipper blushing also. She opened her mouth, like a fish out of water, opening and closing in a mechanical fashion, before slamming the little box into Dippers stomach. Successfully knocking the air out of his lungs. How was Pacifica so strong?!

She started to ramble, “D-don’t t-take this the wrong way! I-it’s not l-like I like you or a-anything! I-I just felt sorry for you a-and decided to g-get you something since you probably w-won’t get any chocolate from a-an actual girl! You should be honored!”

Dipper ignored her babbled words, catching his breath while glancing down at the little box Pacifica had placed in his hands. It was wrapped in gold, a cute little white ribbon tying it closed. He carefully untied it, opening to see chocolates nestled inside. They looked handmade, each one taking a random shape of their own. He looked back up at Pacifica, at the now tomato red blush engulfing her entire face. She wanted to die of embarrassment right then and there. Did he hate them?! Was he going to throw them back into her face?! Surely he would laugh in her face?! He didn’t do any of those things though. He only asked one simple question,

“Did you make these yourself?”

This caught Pacifica off guard, the answer showing on her vulnerable face. Crossing her arms, she humphed,

“I thought the rich ones would be too good for you, and these are…cheaper…so..”

She trailed off, running out of excuses to use. The truth of the matter was she had spent all night trying to make those stupid little chocolates. She even had one of the chef’s try to teach her, but it was harder than it looked, hence the reason they all took on a deformed shape. They were at least good enough to eat, despite their horrible appearance. She’d made sure of it. She looked away from him, a pout setting across her face,

“If you don’t want them, than just give them back.”

Dipper paused, almost like he was appalled by the idea of it, before rolling his eyes,

“Of course I want them, Pacifica. Especially since you went to the trouble of making them for me.”

He took a chocolate out of the box and held it up to his eyes. He then threw it into his awaiting mouth, chewing the sweet treat, before swallowing. Pacifica watched him, ready for rejection. Instead of the look of disgust Pacifica was expecting, a grin made it’s way onto Dippers face,

“They’re really great, Pacifica.”

A warm feeling spread throughout Pacifica as she stared at Dipper. God, she loved that smile. A look of the usual snooty Pacifica made its way onto Pacifica’s face,

“Of course. I made the after all.” But then her eyes looked down nervously and the blush reappeared, “I’m really glad you like them.”

This was too cute for Dipper, who swiftly bent down and kissed Pacifica’s cheek. He blushed at his mindless actions as he pulled away. She probably thought of him as a creep now. One look at her face, though, told him that she had definitely not expected his actions. She was blushing profusely, her eyes wide. She hid her face then and turned, “G-goodbye then.” And quickly walked away, back to the happily squawking Mabel doing her victory dance.

Run For It (Part 1)- Fred Weasley Imagine

Anonymous asked: Can you please write a Fred Weasley imagine where the two of you had secretly had a crush on each other but that isn’t revealed until after Bill and Fleur’s wedding when he saves you and then breaks down and cries when he realises he could’ve lost you? Fluff???? Thanks so much, you’re amazing!!!

A/N: thanks! And as usual, sorry for the wait :) the Cousin Barney bit was in the books but not the movie so if ur wondering what the hell I’m talking about, know its canon I guess lmao. Paragraphs 6-8 are pretty much all from the book tbh, I just couldn’t think of another way to do it in the time limit I gave myself.

You stood with your back to the afternoon sun, trying to soak up these last few peaceful moments before the yard of The Burrow was flooded with friends and family of the Weasleys and Delacours. Butterflies and bees hovered lazily over the recently trimmed grass and hedges, there wasn’t a gnome or stray shoe in sight. The place was tidier than you’d ever seen it. You were staring at the great white marquee and the rows upon rows of golden chairs inside, when you were joined by Fred, George, Ron, and Harry, who would be going by Cousin Barney tonight. He was a double of a red-headed village boy (all thanks to Polyjuice Potion) that you and Fred had stolen hairs from using a summoning charm.
“Well, don’t you boys clean up nice,” you exclaimed. “Hardly recognized you there, Harry!”

Fred groaned, partly because of your bad joke and partly because he was being made to wear dress robes.
“When w-I get married, I won’t be bothering with any of this nonsense. You can all wear what you want, and I’ll put a full body-bind curse one mum until it’s over.” He complained, tugging on his collar. You smiled at him, but couldn’t help but wonder if he had almost said ‘we’. However, you were pulled from your thoughts when Ron handed you a seating plan. This was the part of the wedding you were dreading, having to seat the guests.
“She wasn’t too bad this morning, considering,” George said, looking at his plan “Cried a bit about Percy not being here, but who wants wants him? Oh blimey, brace yourselves- here they come, look.”

He was right. Brightly coloured figures were appearing, one by one, out of thin air at the distant boundary of the yard. Bewitched birds fluttered about witches’ hats, precious gems glittered from wizard’s cravats. The hum of excited chatter could be heard from where you stood, getting louder and louder as they came closer. The first lot to reach you was a group of pretty veelas, who George quickly volunteered to help. Fred was forced to handle a gaggle of middle-aged women. One tried to straighten Fred’s collar and he shot you a pleading look over her wide shoulders. You laughed at him, but stopped quickly once you noticed an old man, who was very impatient stopped in front of you, asking you to speak up and hurry up, he wasn’t as young as you were, after all! He ambled behind you muttering about the younger generation’s lack of thought and care.

Once you had seated them, you were stopped by Aunt Muriel, biting back a groan, you listened to her complaints of how short your dress was. “Showing off your knobbly knees, I suppose? What good will that do!" 

 You were trying to keep the smile off your face, figuring that letting your amusement show would only prolong her rant. Luckily, Fred pulled you away by your elbow.
"Hope you made the most of that, because if things go my way, that’s the last time we’ll be seeing her until her funeral.”
“Fred!” You laughed “How could you say that about such a charming little lady!“
He snickered. "Come on, we better find our seats before we get run over by the bride.”

You sat down in the second row and looked around. The poles of the marquee were entwined with white and gold flowers, some of which you had put up yourself, without magic to try and get them to look right. The process had been long and tedious and you bitterly hoped the guests were appreciating it. Fred and George had tied golden balloons over the spot where Bill and Fleur would soon become husband and wife.

Music began to play, seemingly from the balloons. Bill and Charlie came up the aisle. Fred wolf-whistled, you giggled along with a few others, but it turned into an “ooooh!” at the sight of Fleur, her father, Ginny, and Gabrielle making their procession up the aisle. Fleur’s simple white dress gave off a silvery glow, it seemed to make everyone it fell on look even more beautiful. Ginny and Gabrielle looked even prettier than usual in their golden dresses. When they passed the second row, you waved at Ginny, who returned it quickly. Once Fleur reached the stage, Bill looked like he had never met Greyback.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” the tufty-haired wizard began in a sing-song voice. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of two faithful souls…”
“Yes, my tiara sets off the whole thing nicely,” said Auntie Muriel in a carrying whisper. “But I must say, Ginevra’s dress is far too low cut.” Holding back another laugh, you looked around the marquee, watching the guests.
“Do you, William Arthur, take Fleur Isabelle…?”
In the row in front of you, Mrs. Weasley and Madame Delacour were sobbing quietly into scraps of lace. You grinned and nudged Fred with your shoulder to show him, who in turn nudged George. They both rolled their eyes and smirked. Trumpetlike sounds came from the back of the marquee, meaning that Hagrid was also sobbing into a tablecloth-sized handkerchief.
“…then I declare you bound for life.”
The tufty-haired wizard waved his wand over Bill and Fleur’s heads and a shower of silver stars fell upon them, spiraling around them. As Fred and George lead a round of applause, the golden balloons burst: Birds of paradise and tiny golden bells flew and floated out of them, adding their songs and chimes to the din.
“Was that one of yours?” you asked the twins.
They nodded, clearly pleased with the effect.

“Ladies and Gentlemen!” called the tufty-haired wizard. “If you would please stand up!”
They all did, Auntie Muriel grumbling audibly; he waved his wand again. The seats on which they had been sitting on rose gracefully into the air as the canvas walls of the marquee vanished, so that they stood beneath a canopy supported by golden poles, with a glorious view of the sunlit orchard and surrounding countryside. Then, a pool of molten gold spread from the centre of the tent, forming a gleaming dance floor; the hovering chairs grouped themselves around small white-clothed tables, which all floated gracefully to the ground, and the band trooped up to the podium.  

“Shall we claim a table before it’s too late?” George asked. You and Fred nodded and followed George, weaving through the crowd.
“Avoid Muriel!” Fred hissed between clenched teeth, for he had seen her heading towards you again. He steered you away by your shoulders, making you laugh. George took three bottles of butterbeer from a waiter and settled for a table towards the back of the marquee so you could see out. Relatives and friends came over to say hello. Having known the Weasleys for quite some time, you recognised a fair few of them. Fred and George introduced you to the ones you didn’t, and told you funny stories about them until the next round of relatives came over. After you finished your butterbeer, Fred held out his hand and said something, but you didn’t quite catch it due to the chatter and the music and the clinking of bottles and plates.
“What was that?” You asked loudly.
“Do you wanna dance?” He repeated. You grinned and nodded. Dancing with Fred was a lot like being knocked around in strong wind, and you loved it. George gave Fred a look, and Fred kicked him under the table before standing and leading you over to the dancefloor. You watched people spin and twirl around on the smooth gold. It looked like it had been like that for years, not minutes. He took your hand and tugged you into the centre of the couples.
“Been a while since we’ve done this.” You said as he started spinning you around in a circle, a full arm’s length away.
“Too long,” He agreed. “Although, last time we did, we broke a vase and two plates.”
“Minimal damage,” you said dismissively. “Especially considering you were involved.”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment.” He laughed, bending his arms so you were closer together. Fred raised one of your arms above your head and twirled you around twice, both of you watching how your dress flared out around your legs. He pulled you back to him, closer again, and swung your arms around between you, still dancing around in a circle.

You watched another couple, presumably from Fleur’s side, elegantly stepping together in time with the music. One of his hands on her waist, and one of hers on his shoulder, the spare hands were held up at chest height. You couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of how you must look compared to them.
“What’s funny?” Fred asked curiously.
“We really are terrible dancers.”
Fred hummed, before replying “What made you realise?” You jerked your chin towards the couple, Fred looked over his shoulder, before looking back at you and laughing.
“They both look like they have something up their arses.” Fred snickered. It was true, their snooty faces were held up high in the air. They both looked like they could smell something terrible.
“Now Freddy, is that really the right way to talk about your new family?” You said, smirking. Fred just rolled his eyes before taking your waist and holding one of your hands up level with your nose. You understood what he was doing and placed your hand on his shoulder.

You both watched the couple, copying their every move (you might have been dramatizing it just a little bit, but what does it matter?) When he bowed to kiss her hand, Fred did the same, adding in a big flourish and bowing down much farther than he needed to. He pressed his lips to your hand (you ignored the blush that had crept up onto your cheeks) and you copied the girlish giggle, slapping your hand over your heart like the lady did. This seemed to catch their attention.

They glared over at you, whispering angrily to each other. Fred also copied this with a devilish grin. They began to move towards the pair of you, so you tugged on Fred’s hand, hissing “Go go go!” and dancing towards the closest exit as quickly as you could without drawing attention. As soon as you were out of the marquee you ran for it, heading to the orchard. You pulled him behind a tree, where you stayed, doubled over catching your breath and laughing.

“Did you see their faces?” He wheezed. “I hope they won’t be coming around for Christmases”

10 Reasons why Edward Nygma’s Starter Pokémon would be a Snivy:
  1. It’s green. Duh.
  2. It has a snooty, holier-than-thou face, and so does he.
  3. It is (or at lease evolves into) a snake, so fits with our lovely Snedward.
  4. Grass types use HP-draining moves and similar tactics instead of just relying on brute strength. That’s clever. Ed’s clever. Perfect match.
  5. Snivy’s Pokédex entry says it’s “very intelligent”. Need I say more?… I’m going to anyway. 
  6. Servine (middle evolved form) is said to be very fussy about staying clean. Ed’s always so sharply dressed in those lovely suits, and I’m sure the two of them would visit fancy spas and things together too.
  7. Serperior (final evolved form) is said to only bother fighting those it deems strong enough. Eddie won’t waste time on people not clever enough for him, they can bond over that.
  8. Serperior’s also said to stop its opponents moving with just a glare Have you looked into Ed’s eyes recently? Would you keep fighting if he gave you that puppy dog look intimidating glare?
  9. Serperior is also classed as a ‘Regal Pokemon’. Eddie clearly thinks he should be treated like royalty, and he is the Prince of Conundrums after all.
  10. Snakes can curve themselves into looking like a question mark? Alright fine, but you try bending a Bulbasaur into a question mark and see how far you get.

Just look at it, they were made for each other:

[The Penguin] [The Scarecrow]

Pick Up Lines Part 2

You were standing at the nurses station talking to Tara. “I swear to God, he said that.”

“That’s the cheesiest line I’ve ever heard!” Tara laughed.

“I know, then he’s all bent out of shape when I get up to leave, so he grabs me. Asks me what I should say when I’m given a compliment.”

“What did you tell him?”

“If you don’t let go of me, I’m going to kick you in the balls. Well that really pissed him off. Anyway, cue the mysterious handsome stranger. He kicks the dudes ass, I buy him a drink to thank him.”

“Then what happened?”

“Nothing, we went our separate ways.” She smiled sadly. “I was hoping to get his number or give him mine, but no such luck.”

“So what did this handsome stranger look like?”

“Salt and pepper hair, goatee, taller then me, dark eyes.” You look down at your watch. “I’ve got to get back down to the ER.”

“See you later, What time are you off tonight?”

“Six, why?”

“Come over to the house for dinner tonight. I’d love for you to meet Jax and my boys. Maybe Jax could bring a friend over.”

“I’ll come over for dinner, but absolutely no fix ups.”

“Fine, Seven?”

“Sounds good, see you then.” You get into the elevator, going back down to the ER. You had met Tara your first day at St. Thomas, you’d been eating lunch together ever since.


Chibs and Jax got off the elevator making their way over to Tara. She smiled at the two men, she had promised (Y/N) no fix ups, but Chibs could just show up for dinner.

“I was just going to call you. I’ve invited a friend over for dinner tonight.” Jax made a face.

“Another snooty doctor friend?”

“Yes, she’s a doctor, but I think you’re going to like her. Chibs you want to join us.”

“You trying to fix me up doc?” She smiled at him.

“Of course not, she’s new to town.”

“No thank you, I’ll pass.”

“He has damsels to save tonight!” Jax laughed, “What time is dinner, maybe I’ll bring Happy home for dinner.”

“It’s at seven, and he may scare (Y/N).” Chibs turned to look at Tara, hearing the name of the woman he was thinking of. He was going back to the same bar, hoping to find her again, he left without getting her phone number last night.

“Tell me more about (Y/N).” Chibs looked at Tara,

“Oh so now you’re interested?” She laughed. “Some guy tried to pick her up with a cheesy line at a bar last night.”

Chibs stroked his goatee, smiling. “Maybe I will come to dinner tonight.”

Seeing each other again// [Calum/4]

Requested? yes

Warning: strong language, Self harm 

A/N I kinda based this on my breakup so i’m gonna switch this request around a little i hope you do not mind.



“Y/N why do you do that?”  i sigh closing my eyes wishing this was a dream. “please talk to me, i don”t want you hurting yourself.” i slowly open my eyes scooting closer to him; “ i’m sorry Calum i’m so sorry i just don’t know what to do anymore.” He just holds me he clearly doesn’t know what to say. he breaks the silence “i’m here”.


“I’M SCARED TO GET CLOSE AND I HATE BEING ALONE” I laugh singing along with Raven, my best friend, “THE HIGHER I GET, THE LOWER I SINK.” Turning down the music as we pull up to school, In spot Calum with some of his friends from the football team. Lowering down the window i shout “ Oi Calum!!” him turning around to quickly wave and look away.”whats wrong with him?” Raven asked making a snooty face. “ I dunno. i”ll see him in class though so yeah i”ll ask him” The truth is Calum has been acting weird or so, as if he was avoiding me. We’ve been dating for almost  2 years and he never acted like this.

Heading out of class i spot Calum again. Running up I cover his eyes giggling “Guess who?” I feel his face drop losing his signature smile everyone knows and loves. “Y/N? the on-” I cut his off with a soft peck on his lips  He pulled away as if he just tasted poison. 

“Y/N w-we erm” he looks down scratching the back of his neck “ we need to break up,” As he continues to talk all i can try to do is breathe. Those 5 words those 5 syllables those 15 letters slowly killing me inside. “Y/N?” he asks probably looking at me. I close my eyes not wanting to cry in front of him or make a scene. I run instead. I honestly don’t know where i’m going but i can’t stop either my body is taking control. He loved me; he told me he loved me was that just a lie? I made it home running upstairs and into the bathroom. 

“I’m sorry Calum” closing the door.

Its been a long 2 hard weeks of crying and feeling trapped inside a box trying to cut my way through it but nothing feels right anymore not without Calum.

Being shaken awake I open my puffy red eyes rubbing the bags that lay underneath, “M-Mom? what are you doing its so early” I say yawning not bothering to look at the time. “i’m letting you stay home the least you can do is help your poor mother at the grocery shop. And don’t start Y/N its 1;58pm get ready now.” I nod her away stretching before getting up and picking an outfit. Running downstairs i grabbed a Banana heading out to the car after sliding my shoes on.

-time skip the car ride- 

“But mom let’s be honest here i’m not the only one who Beyonce Kid is hotter than me” i say laughing, “okay okay enough go pick out some cereals i don’t know what you teenagers like to stuff your face in” She says shooing me off. i walk quickly to the aisle  looking for something i might enjoy. “ May i recommended the fruity pebbles. They’re are the bomb if i say so myself” i freeze recognizing the voice that brought me Pain and Joy. I turn around slowly.



Part 2?

anonymous asked:

hello! i was wondering if you've watched the first ep of haikyuu season 2 yet and what you thought of it // how do you feel about more ushi and oikawa may or may not be what i am asking ahah you're my fav artist for them. actually you're my fav artist for all the shows you've drawn for tbh ily (and ur ocs!!)

THANK YOU SO MUCH T.T to be honest i wasn’t sure if i was even going to watch s2 bc im very preoccupied w literally everything else int he world LMFAO but your kind msg really motivated me to watch it!!!! SO SORRY FOR REPLYING SO LATE I JUST WATCHED THE FIRST 2 EPS TODAY *screaming wildly at ushiwakas face* in the back of my mind wishing maybe the hot way ushiwaka says oikawas name and praises him will make ppl want ushioi— /SLAPPED

i really too so many screen shot i couldnt stop myself so it took a long time to watch lOOOL  lOOK AT HOW MANY TIMES THEY APPEAR TOGETHER!!!! GYAAAAAAA


IGAB - Chapter 7



Annabeth was a hypocrite. Fact.

She had scolded Leo for obsessing over whether or not Annabeth’s fake twin sister was hot, and there she was, practically drooling over swimming boys - one of which was her roommate, and that did not help with the awkward situation she was already in.

Even then, when she sat at her desk, resting her forehead on her fist and trying her best to concentrate on the jumble of astronomy terms, all she could think about was the water that trickled from Percy’s strong brows, the way his forearms flexed when he pulled himself from the pool, how the smile brightened his whole face - no, no! Get yourself under control.

She knocked her temple with her knuckle. Hello? Is the real Annabeth in there?

Boys were not the priority. Her future career was. It wasn’t that she didn’t like boys, because wow, did she ever (jammers, eyes, messy hair - ENOUGH), it was that her vision was always pointed toward that skyline by her design. If a boy happened to be at her side during such time, it would be an added bonus. (Maybe sucking on her neck too and smelling like bacon and chlorine - DAMMIT STOP)

Keep reading

Ah yes isn’t she pretty, miss snooty face mc.grumpass.

Well, she’s just here to get your attention! Because I have some important shit to tell you all.


(And no, above BP is local bred, she’s just a spokes-snake so this doesn’t revert to cut off link post)

Anyway, a week or so ago, I went to order meal worms from my favorite feeder site (American Cricket Ranch! They’re awesome.) But somethign was going on and it could not process my order. I had had to postpone ordering feeders for a bit longer than I normally do, so by then the critters were hungry. Unsure of what to do, I picked the next site down on the list and checked it out. The testimonials on the site looked nice, everything was well written. Little did I know I had stumbled across an actually pretty terrible company known as Backwater Reptiles. They’re bad, don’t buy from them ever!

The mealworms came many days later than they should have, but out of the box they all appeared to be doing well. They were not packaged with any food, and no grain or anything- just a cardboard post box with newspaper and worms. No air holes or special screen boxes like cricket ranch has. Right away I got my mealworms on a mix of calcium powder, organic/non saltened or sweetened raw oatmeal, and a bit of other vitamin powders (as suggested by my friend who breeds mealies). I let the mealies settle over night, and bulk up on food. The worms themselves weren’t very active, and the geckos were a bit perplexed by the worms (They’re a little dumb sometimes, if it doesn’t move it doesn’t exist). But, eventually I got all of them to eat and things seemed okay- until all the leos got massive explosive poos.

Now, I have never had an incident with any of my geckos having what I can only describe as gecko diarrhea, not with crickets and not with meal worms before. This was all very strange and happened very quickly, over night even. Concerned, I checked everyone’s tubs for under heatign or over heating, since sometimes heat goes wonky- nothing was out of the usual, everything was well, they had water and humid hides plenty, but something was off.  I checked the meal worms and found nothing wrong, aside from the fact that nearly all of them had already begun to pupate- likely due to being in a warm shipping truck for days.

That said, I never figured out what might have been wrong. One of my particularly older ex-breeder leos had actually passed away following the  mealworm incident,  and I couldn’t tell at the time if it was old age or due to something wrong overall. No other animals had died and none seemed sick (after switching to crickets again). Today while cleaning things out, I noticed, to my horror, that there were grain mites all over the mealworm tub, and also on my trash can. the only reason I spotted them is because I’d set something black on my trash can and saw them- now, Grain mites are reportedly harmless if ingested, but they are horrible little bugs and can infest everything, like kitchens and such- I have already begun the process of cleaning absolutly everything and ridding myself of the now mealworm beetles, which there’s no way I can really be sure the mites are gone without destroying the colony I was going to start.

I did some research and found to my horror that my initial ignorance of exactly how bad backwater reptiles is, was what caused this. loads of reports on other sites, mites, dead animals on arrival or shortly afterward. Wrong animals being sent- damaged animals, too, as in, tortoises with pyramiding and extra sloops (or however its spelled), horrible site owner that tries to down rate other sites. and whats worse- they wrote all the testimonials on the site themselves. They are frauds and ship sick animals. Apparently the boxes have no air flow anywhere, even for reptiles- one person got a Ball python in a tiny deli cup too small for it with no holes as well as no heat pad and no air in the box itself either. That animal also died shortly afterward.

One person bought a tortoise and got newts! No refunds. One person emailed to inquire about an animal which was expensive and was rudely accused of being a spy from a competitive site. So many animals shipped in terrible conditions, and have terrible mites. (Sometimes animals are shipped on moist moss in a cardboard box, of which, the boxes seldom to never indicate live animal is in the box.) Sick, thin, DOA, wrong animals– just avoid this company entirely.

That goes for the feeder insects too, and all stock they carry. You will not have a good experience with them.

So far, my geckos do not show signs of having grain mites, but that could be because the bugs are very hard to see- even if I can’t see them I will still be treating for mites (I have mite-off and preventamite or something, lots of stuff on hand for just such an emergency.)

The good news is grain mites are harmless, just reallly reallllllly anoying. The bad news is, they’re here and I would like them gone.

On the other hand, American Cricket Ranch has never had bad service and their feeders are pretty great so there’s that! (Thank goodness I get my rodent feeders local, I cannot imagine what horrors I’d have found if I’d ordered frozen rodents from backwater. blehk.)

*Tagging this aywas / FR because I know some reptile owners are over there too, even though this post is not related*


Just met this author at a coffee shop, while reviewing a proof of her new book. Release date is April 20 on Amazon. Check it out. Short read, too.

Her comments about the book: “High literature meets Southern twang. The book is supposed to be funny. If you think about how funny it would be if we gave Jerry Springer guests unlimited power and made them Greek gods of the trailer park… that is what the book is. White privilege makes some people still think they are Greek gods. This book slaps the snooty off their faces.”

Signal boost.
in the name of your father

TITLE: In The Name of Your Father

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter Fifteen

AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki is training recruits for a war that Asgard is in. Every house has to send one man to fight in the army, but your father is too old/ill to go, so you disguise yourself as a man to save him from certain death. Basically something resembling the Disney Movie of Mulan.

“What are you doing here?” you asked coldly as Loki helped you to your feet.

“I would have thought you would have said thanks.” He seemed slightly taken back.

“Thank you, now why are you here?” you asked suspiciously.

“I was nearby on an errand, and if you recall, I swore to come see this home of your and see why it measures so much against the city. You swore to me that it was better in most everyway.” He answered, smiling once more.

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Game theory - Chapter 1

 A big, big thank you to hartfic and dabblingdabbler who so kindly beta’d  (? dat a word?) this chapter and please do leave feedback in my askbox if you feel like, it will be greatly appreciated! 

First 100 followers you get porn!

Prologue here 

Hartbig, SFW, SFF, 2,900 words.

- - -

“Tomorrow afternoon, around… half past three, maybe?”

Hannah is on the phone when Grace comes out of the shower, wet hair dripping on her t-shirt.

“Yeah, I’ll call you when I land. I miss you too. Night, babe.”

Hannah yawns, her eyes can barely stay open and when did Grace get so tall?

“Hannah? What are you doing on the floor?”


At some point during the call she bent down on her knees, tracing pattern on the carpet, and then felt that maybe the carpet was very soft, and sort of warm, and standing wasn’t appealing at all. So she sat, her back leaning against Grace’s bed.

“I am guessing we’re not going for that drink after all.” Grace asks, amused.

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