| Requested by anon: I was watching the episode of jersey shore where snooki got punched by a guy, and I was wondering if you could make an imagine where y/n is out with all the Omaha boys and a guy ends up hitting her and the boys get all heated and try and go after him?
“What’s your name, baby girl?” The stranger whispered in my ear. I backed off. I found this guy creepy as fuck. And he smellt like shit.
I ignored his question and looked around, especially for the guys I came with actually. We went out tonight, but I was so stupid to not bring a girlfriend. “I asked you something?!” The drunken guy yelled in my face.
It made me jump way back. I got scared, especially because he was drunk and all of my friends were gone somewhere and no one could really give a shit.
The guy pulled me by my arm, closer to him. “Don’t fucking touch me?” I yelled.
KARKAT: WHAT IS THAT PURPLE THING YOU KEEP SENDING. DAVE: its supposed to be my dick
Which one cried during a fucking disney movie?
DAVE: yo dude are you okay DAVE: you’re snifflin like crazy over there KARKAT: DUMBO’S MOM LOVED HIM SO MUCH, DAVE KARKAT: EARTH MOVIES ARE SO MUCH MORE FUCKED UP THAN ALTERNIAN MOVIES. KARKAT: AND THEY EVEN MANAGED THAT WITH A SIGNIFICANT DECREASE IN THE AMOUNT OF ONSCREEN DEATHS.
Who put a goddamned fork in the microwave?
DAVE: holy shit KARKAT: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?? KARKAT: I’VE NEVER USED A HUMAN MICROWAVE BEFORE! DAVE: and youll probably never be able to use it again cause that was the most intense fireball probably ever
Who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “Guess who” thing?
KARKAT: AAH!! DAVE: guess who KARKAT: GET YOUR SWEATY HANDS OFF OF MY FACE BEFORE I FLIP MY SHIT. DAVE: jeez fine DAVE: cant a guy be cute for once KARKAT: THAT WASN’T CUTE, IT WAS TERRIFYING.
Who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner?
DAVE: oof DAVE: your hands are like ice wtf KARKAT: ARE THEY? DAVE: yeah DAVE: gimme your hand i gotta warm it up in mine
Who had that embarrassing Reality TV marathon?
DAVE: ohhhh DAVE: ohhhhhhhhhh KARKAT: WHAT? DAVE: that guy just punched snooki DAVE: that’s so fucked up KARKAT: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS. DAVE: nvm
Who laughs more during sex?
KARKAT: YOU KEEP LAUGHING. KARKAT: IS THAT BAD? DAVE: nah DAVE: guess its a nervous thing KARKAT: WHY ARE YOU NERVOUS? DAVE: its not that im nervous im just DAVE: uh DAVE: i dont want to mess up DAVE: sorry DAVE: that sounded stupid KARKAT: YOU’RE DOING FINE. DAVE: yeah ok
WHO IS THE LITTLE SPOON?
DAVE: you all comfy or what DAVE: you better be im doing my best wrapping you up in my big man arms DAVE: shit’s tight as fuck yo KARKAT: YEAH, I’M PRETTY COMFY. DAVE: kay DAVE: … DAVE: i uh DAVE: um KARKAT: HUH? DAVE: i love you KARKAT: OH. KARKAT: I LOVE YOU TOO.