snooki punch

Drunken Guy (4/4)

| Requested by anon: I was watching the episode of jersey shore where snooki got punched by a guy, and I was wondering if you could make an imagine where y/n is out with all the Omaha boys and a guy ends up hitting her and the boys get all heated and try and go after him?

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“What’s your name, baby girl?” The stranger whispered in my ear. I backed off. I found this guy creepy as fuck. And he smellt like shit.

I ignored his question and looked around, especially for the guys I came with actually. We went out tonight, but I was so stupid to not bring a girlfriend. “I asked you something?!” The drunken guy yelled in my face.

It made me jump way back. I got scared, especially because he was drunk and all of my friends were gone somewhere and no one could really give a shit. 

The guy pulled me by my arm, closer to him. “Don’t fucking touch me?” I yelled.

“Rude, much?” He said.

I felt an arm around my waist and saw it was Sam.

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I have never laughed so hard in my life.

anonymous asked:

Davekat for the ship meme!

Which one sexts like a straight white boy?

KARKAT: WHAT IS THAT PURPLE THING YOU KEEP SENDING. 
DAVE: its supposed to be my dick 

Which one cried during a fucking disney movie?

DAVE: yo dude are you okay
DAVE: you’re snifflin like crazy over there
KARKAT: DUMBO’S MOM LOVED HIM SO MUCH, DAVE
KARKAT: EARTH MOVIES ARE SO MUCH MORE FUCKED UP THAN ALTERNIAN MOVIES.
KARKAT: AND THEY EVEN MANAGED THAT WITH A SIGNIFICANT DECREASE IN THE AMOUNT OF ONSCREEN DEATHS.

Who put a goddamned fork in the microwave?

DAVE: holy shit
KARKAT: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN??
KARKAT: I’VE NEVER USED A HUMAN MICROWAVE BEFORE!
DAVE: and youll probably never be able to use it again cause that was the most intense fireball probably ever

Who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “Guess who” thing?

KARKAT: AAH!!
DAVE: guess who
KARKAT: GET YOUR SWEATY HANDS OFF OF MY FACE BEFORE I FLIP MY SHIT.
DAVE: jeez fine
DAVE: cant a guy be cute for once
KARKAT: THAT WASN’T CUTE, IT WAS TERRIFYING.

Who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner?

DAVE: oof
DAVE: your hands are like ice wtf
KARKAT: ARE THEY?
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: gimme your hand i gotta warm it up in mine

Who had that embarrassing Reality TV marathon?

DAVE: ohhhh
DAVE: ohhhhhhhhhh
KARKAT: WHAT?
DAVE: that guy just punched snooki
DAVE: that’s so fucked up
KARKAT: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS.
DAVE: nvm

Who laughs more during sex?

KARKAT: YOU KEEP LAUGHING.
KARKAT: IS THAT BAD?
DAVE: nah
DAVE: guess its a nervous thing
KARKAT: WHY ARE YOU NERVOUS?
DAVE: its not that im nervous im just
DAVE: uh
DAVE: i dont want to mess up
DAVE: sorry
DAVE: that sounded stupid
KARKAT: YOU’RE DOING FINE.  
DAVE: yeah ok

WHO IS THE LITTLE SPOON?

DAVE: you all comfy or what
DAVE: you better be im doing my best wrapping you up in my big man arms
DAVE: shit’s tight as fuck yo
KARKAT: YEAH, I’M PRETTY COMFY.
DAVE: kay
DAVE: …
DAVE: i uh
DAVE: um
KARKAT: HUH?
DAVE: i love you
KARKAT: OH.
KARKAT: I LOVE YOU TOO.